Weird.. I'm not getting the bounce thing any more..
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PART XIV
Winner takes all!!! 
Ranma Saotome _never_ loses...
Or does he?
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Ranma could only wait in shocked amazement as the Katsu Tenshin Amaguriken attack hit him. *I don't _believe_ this! I'm
losing... to Ryoga Hibiki of all people!* Finally his air tour across the Dojo was ended by the wall. He struggled to his
feet. "T-this is far from over!"
"Fine by me! You can be my guinea pig!" Ryoga-chan sped forward with a speed that defied description (OK, so I just can't be
bothered to describe it - so sue me.) before hitting Ranma with her battle aura. *Thank you, Mr Saotome...* Flipping over his
head, she turned to face him. "Done yet, Ranma?" she teased lightly. 
*I can't move!!* Ranma thought, desperately trying to will his limbs to do what he wanted. *How did he _do_ that?!! I've only
ever seen Pops and the old freak do that before!*
"Ranma? What's wrong?" Ryoga-chan walked around him in a circle, slightly bemused. *Is that technique really that good?!!*
"Why aren't you attacking? Have you given up?" She waved a hand in front of his face. "Stop kidding and fight me! I'm not
done yet!" She stepped backwards. *He can't be done... he _always_ beats me!* "Snap out of it!"
"R-Ryoga..." Ranma forced enough life in his arm to raise it a little. *There is no way I will ever admit defeat to _him!_
Especially not when he's a GIRL!!!* "T-thank's for the little speech..." Talking became easier as he continued. "Really
inspiring."
"Are you going to fight me or not?" Ryoga-chan stood ready. "I'm not going to attack when you're frozen like that."
"Oh, I'm gonna fight you, all right!" Ranma wiped his face. "And I will win! No matter what!"
Ryoga-chan gave him one of those irritated looks. "Not too cocky now, are we?" She shook her head. "I should've taken you out
when you were frozen."
"Too late now! KATSU TENSHIN AMARGURIKEN REVISED!!!" Ranma started hitting at the wooden floor of the Dojo.
"Huh?" Ryoga-chan stepped backwards. "You just did this... OWOWOWOWOW!!!" Jumping away, she examined her arm in surprise.
"Splinters?" 
"Incredible!" shouted Soun, jumping to his feet. He grabbed a microphone from somewhere. "He's using the Chestnut Fist to
turn the floor into splintered wood, hitting it at an angle so that the wood splinters fly through the air, striking his
opponent!!! Truly, it is a marvel to behold!!!"
Genma beamed proudly. "That's why he's my son."
"Well, all I can say is, he'd better pay for the floor to be repaired." Soun brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Or OWOWOW!!!
HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!!!"
Ranma glanced at him. "Sorry." He smirked at Ryoga-chan. "Give up yet, little girl?"
"You have _got_ to be kidding." Ryoga-chan smirked back. "I've got a new trick for you, too."
"Wha... ANOTHER?!!!"
"BAKUSAI TENKETSU!!!" Ryoga-chan struck the floor with her index finger. "Watch."
A loud rumbling noise filled the room. Ranma looked around nervously. "What's that noise?" A geyser erupting from the floor
answered his question. "Whatcha do THAT for?!!"
"KATSU TENSHIN AMARGURIKEN AND ICE STORM REVISED!!!" Ryoga-chan jumped into the air and began striking at the water. Where
her hands hit the water, they turned it into ice. Ice, which went hurtling towards Ranma in the form of icicles, icebergs and
plain ice chunks.
"Wha.. hey! Ow! Ouch!" Ranma tried to dodge. Which worked for a while, until he slipped on the icy floor. Then he found
himself hammered by ice shrapnel. "Quit it!"
"Amazing! He used the Ice Storm technique to turn the water into ice, which he used against Ranma with the Chestnut Fist!"
cried Genma through a megaphone. (Neriman sound systems. I want one!!) "Are you sure you don't want him to marry one of your
other daughters?"
"Oh no you don't!" Nabiki shouted. "Don't you go putting ideas in Daddy's head!"
Ryoga-chan walked over to where Ranma lay, using the weather techniques to melt the ice with each step. *I-I don't believe
this... I'm actually winning!!!* She bowed her head slightly. *This is the reason I came to Nerima... finally, I can really
do it!!!* She looked down at Ranma. "Do you surrender?"
Ranma glared up at her. "No way, Hibiki!" He climbed unsteadily to his feet.
"Good." Ryoga-chan closed her eyes, recalling how the Chaos Butterflies manipulated the weather. She moved her hands, and the
icy water from the geyser spiralled around her. "FINAL ATTACK!!! HIRYUU SHOTEN HA REVISED!!!"
Ranma screamed.

Tsubasa looked at his reflection in the mirror. *I didn't want to do this, Ukyo, but if that's what it takes to make you
mine, I'll do it.* He raised his fist high. "I'll do ANYTHING for you!!!" he cried, sun bursting in the background behind the
tsunami waves. "Anything at all!!!"
As quickly as they appeared, the sun and the waves vanished and Tsubasa was surrounded by a murky blackness. "I-I'd even..."
Tsubasa closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "Even ... kill for you."
The normal surroundings faded back into existence. "But today, let's just try..." He stuck his tongue out at the mirror.
"Dressing as a guy."

Shampoo looked around the darkened restaurant. "We done, great-grandmother? Shampoo can go see Ryoga now, yes?"
Mousse growled and tightened his grip on his chopsticks.
Cologne nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to take a love potion with you? Just a weak one?"
"No thank you, Shampoo no trust love potions. Always backfire." Shampoo grinned. "I win Ryoga's love all on own."
The chopsticks snapped. *I _really_, _REALLY_ hate Hibiki now.*

Demons. Ghouls. Things that go bump in the night. They attacked when you least expected it, when your guard was down, when
you just thought it was safe outside. Merdith waited, biding her time, waiting for the guard to fall. She watched Ryoga-chan
from the shadows, hatred and fear shown by darker shadows. She couldn't risk trying to take her - it would be too dangerous.
She didn't dare take any risks, Percicus had done that and been defeated. She and Jodie were the last ones left. She had to
wait, to find someone who she could use. She moved back into the darkest shadows again as the eldest Tendo daughter passed
her, walking towards the telephone. *Too weak. And too suspicious. She's no good.*
Kasumi hung up the telephone and re-entered the wrecked Dojo. "The repairmen will be here soon, Father. Really, there's no
need to cry." She looked at the hole in the ceiling. "Oh my. Hasn't Ranma landed yet?"
Genma shook his head. "That last move was.... Amazing!" He grabbed the microphone again. "He used the Heavenly Dragon
Ascension Wave to.... do something." He looked at Ryoga-chan. "What _did_ you do to Ranma?"
*He has power... but he is still too weak. Another...*
Ryoga-chan winced as she pulled another splinter out of her arm. "It's a secret." She jumped to her feet. "Where did Ranma
go? Surely he should have landed by now..." She gasped. *He must be on the roof or something, thinking of a way to defeat me!
I'm doo..*
*CRASH*
*med.* Ryoga-chan blinked. "Huh? Ranma?" She walked over to him and poked him with her toe. "Ranma? Are you OK? Did I win?" 
Genma appeared by her side and looked at his son. "I think you won."
"What?!!" Ryoga-chan shook her head. "But the Takahashi goddess states that Ranma _always_ wins!" She shook Ranma. "Hey, you!
Wake up!"
Genma pushed her aside and grabbed Ranma by the collar. "WAKE UP, SON!!!!" He slapped him a few times. "The laws of reality
are at stake! How dare you lose?!!!"
Akane pushed Genma aside. "Stop it, you're being ridiculous!" he looked at Ranma's unconscious body. "Let him rest."
*Maybe. She has potential... and it would be fun to break him with the woman he holds so dear...* Merdith thought about it
for a little longer. It was an interesting idea, certainly. Let the girl sneak past his defences and strike him where it
hurt. She studied the situation for a moment, then paused. It wouldn't work - he was too shy, he'd push away anyone who tried
to get close, and she didn't have the time or the patience to try and worm her way into his heart. Nah. She'd just have to
try someone else...
Ryoga-chan shoved Genma aside again. "So I won?!! I really won?!!!"
Genma nodded solemnly. "That would appear so. Unless.." He grabbed Ranma by the collar again. "WAKE UP, YOU IDIOT!!!!"
"Mr Saotome!" Akane whacked him with her mallet. "Can't you see he's hurt?!!!"
"I... really won?!!!" Ryoga-chan stood dazed for a moment, before a huge grin appeared on her face. "YATTA!!!" She jumped
into the air, Chun-Li style, bouncing up and down in glee. Happy flowers appeared around her. "I WON! I WON!!!" Tears
streamed down her face. "This is the happiest day of my life!!!"
Soun shook his head. "It really means that much to him?"
Nabiki nodded. "You should've seen it when he first arrived here. The carnage was terri-WOAH! Put me DOWN!"
Ryoga-chan ignored her yells and spun her and Kasumi around. "I'm so happy!!! Hahahaa!!!"
"Ryoga, put me down or I'll puke!!"
"Oh my. I'm getting dizzy."
Akane watched Ryoga happily prance around the Dojo, with a slight smile on her face. *In a way.. I'm happy for you, Ryoga.*
She looked down at Ranma and the smile faded. *Poor Ranma...*
Ranma groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "A-Akane?"
"Ranma, are you all right?" Akane asked in concern. "Do you want me to call Doctor Tofu?"
"With Kasumi here?! Are you crazy?!" Ranma sat up and rubbed the back of his head, looking around at the wreckage and
Ryoga-chan merrily swinging his father around in the air. *H-he won... I don't believe it...*
*Him! He's perfect!* Merdith grinned and slipped forward for closer inspection. She should've known. Ranma Saotome, the
lifelong rival of Ryoga Hibiki. There was the perfect excuse to attack, plus the added advantage that killing Hibiki in his
body meant that the other women who chased relentlessly after him would be deterred somewhat, leaving the field clear for
Kodachi. *They'll die anyway...* The thought sent ripples of pleasure through her. It was a long time since she'd killed
someone. True, she often made attempts to kill Mr Lutz in his wife's body. She'd never succeeded. Oh yes, and she'd driven
the DeFeo boy insane, to the point where he'd murdered his whole family, but she hadn't been there to help, to control him.
But there was raw power in this town, power Kodachi had given them access to. *I'll kill them all... but I'll kill Hibiki
first.*
Ryoga-chan caught sight of Ranma and ran over. "Ah! Ranma!"
*GLOMP*
"HEY! Get OFF me, you idiot!!" Ranma yelled. "You're hurting me!"
Ryoga-chan released her grip on Ranma and bounced around on her toes. "Sorry." She grinned happily. "Are you all right? I
didn't know it'd be that good."
Ranma nodded. "I'll be fine... just how did you _do_ all that?"
"Secret techniques." She bounced a few more times before gaining a little control. "Maybe I'll tell you another day." The
perky grin grew even wider. "I'm going back to Ucchans now, see ya!" She waved cheerily before disappearing in search of a
mirror.
Seeing her run off, Merdith moved forwards, waiting to pounce.
Genma waited for a moment before addressing his son. "So boy, what are you going to do?"
Ranma tried to think. On one hand, it was just so utterly humiliating that he, Ranma Saotome, had been defeated by Ryoga
Hibiki - in female form and in front of an audience, no less! - that he just wanted to crawl into a hole and nurse his
wounded ego before hunting him down and pounding him into the floor.
But on the other hand, there was a part of him that insisted he should just leave it. Maybe, just maybe, Ryoga would now
finally stop hassling him and he could live in relative peace.
Still, it seemed like a far more inviting prospect than hunting down the lost boy and challenging him to a rematch. 
*To a rematch? What a good idea...*
The thought rose unbidden in Ranma's mind, and he shook his head, puzzled. *But I don't want to fight him again. He has new
power.*
*He humiliated you. In front of Akane.*
*But...*
*I'll give _you_ the power. The raw energy he used against you, it's here. I'll give it to you. To use against him.*
Ranma's eyes widened. "Who are you?"
"Ranma? Are you feeling all right?" Akane peered at him in worry.
He blinked in confusion. "Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine..." 
His tone lacked conviction as the silky voice whispered temptingly in his mind. *I'm only trying to help you. I'm a friend.*
"F-friend?" 
Akane blinked. "I think maybe we _should_ call Dr Tofu.
*Don't speak. I can hear you if you just think.* Merdith began to work her spell into Ranma. *I want to help you fight him.*
*Fight... Ryoga?* Ranma thought muzzily. 
*Yes. Just promise me you'll challenge him again. I'll teach you how to use the power against him and you can have your pride back.*
It was so inviting... defeat Ryoga and get the title of Nerima's greatest martial artist back. Ranma felt his resolve
melting. The owner of the voice would help him, teach him how to use that energy against Ryoga and win the battle. *What is
the energy?*
*Spiritual energy. Didn't you know? Nerima is the greatest source of pent-up spiritual energy in the universe. That's why
strange things always happen here.* Merdith was taking control and she knew it. Just a little nudge...
*Very well. I'll challenge him again.* Ranma jumped to his feet and walked out of the room, ignoring the stares of everyone
around him.

Skuld looked up as Tsubasa and Shampoo entered the restaurant. "They're not here," she half-lied, pouring two cups of tea
out. "Try again later." *Just go away!* She refrained from saying those words aloud, but hoped they'd take the hint. She
couldn't have anyone else interfere.
Ukyo poked her head around the door frame. "Who's not here? Oh. It's you two." She forced a smile in their direction.
Skuld gritted her teeth. "Well, looks like Ukyo's here." There was a loud crash from upstairs and she winced. "And it sounds
like Ryoga's back too." Wonderful. She quickly manoeuvred the tea over to another area and turned back in time to see Ryoga,
back in his male form, run into the room with a huge grin on his face and sweep Ukyo into a big hug.
Four jaws fell in shock. 
Skuld looked at the tea, then back to Ukyo and Ryoga. "Guess I don't need this any more," she muttered, placing the tray
beside the grill and watching Ryoga swing Ukyo into the air, singing something in Greek. She glanced over at Shampoo and
Tsubasa, who'd both slumped to their knees in shock, then back to the other two, still unable to believe her eyes. She
sighed. You didn't have to be a technical genius to know that any second now, Ukyo was going to snap out of it and hit him.
And when that happened, Shampoo and Tsubasa were going to snap out of it too and start attacking each other. *Why can't the
couples here be as simple and uncomplicated as Keiichi and Belldandy?* Shampoo resisted the urge to break down and cry.
Spurned again. Here she was, one of the most powerful Amazons in her tribe and once again she'd been pushed aside in favour
of a violent brunette tomboy. *It not fair...* she thought numbly. *Shampoo work so hard...* She clenched her fists in anger,
before letting out a shaky sigh. The tea cups on the side caught her eye. *Shampoo could do with drink...* What the hell. She
was depressed, she was spurned, she was _entitled_ to steal other people's tea.
Tsubasa took a few deep breaths and clenched his fists. Here he was, going to all the effort of dressing manly, and his
darling Ukyo -HIS Ukyo - was in the arms of his hated rival. *I'll kill him... I'LL KILL...*
"Drink?" Shampoo held out the other teacup. "Is much good."
Tsubasa smiled faintly and took the cup from Shampoo. "Thanks."
Skuld finally noticed the materialisation of the tea into Shampoo and Tsubasa's grasps a moment too late.
*Oh....<CENSORED!!!!!>* She quickly pulled a screen from RentaPortal (TM) in front of herself and the still-embracing couple
who'd obviously somehow gotten hold of the TimeDrive from Lister and Rimmer and were operating in a different time zone. For
now.
Shampoo looked at Tsubasa. Tsubasa looked at Shampoo. Somehow, their surroundings had been replaced by pink clouds and
flowers in rolling meadows. (Meadows roll?) Neither of them noticed that the string quartet seemed rather out of place, they
were too busy gazing into each other's eyes. Tsubasa looked in wonder at the beautiful Amazon in front of him. How had he
ever even thought about chasing after Ukyo when there was this gorgeous woman here in Japan? "Shampoo..." he breathed
lovingly.
Shampoo smiled happily at him. Right now, she couldn't have said "Ranma Saotome" or "Ryoga Hibiki" if someone had held up
flashcards. Even in Chinese. How could she, when Tsubasa was giving her a look that turned her brain to the consistency of
potato salad? "Oh, Tsubasa..." Tsubasa and Shampoo never had been the shy, demure types when it came to proclaiming their
affections.

A curse from Skuld finally brought Ukyo slowly back to reality. Sort of. Hastily blinking, she eventually realised she was
being hugged. Not that it was a bad thing or anything, she quickly decided, a girl likes to feel appreciated every now and
then. A nice, friendly hug was always a good ego boost and never failed to raise spirits. With a small smile, she looked up
and assessed who was hugging her. 
Black, spiky hair.
Green eyes.
All too familiar, black and yellow bandanna.
Ah. Ryoga. She was being hugged by Ryoga. Thankfully, there were no breasts at present. Closing her eyes, Ukyo leaned her
head lightly against his chest.
Reality finally hit fully and her eyes snapped open. She was being hugged by her jackass fiance! "Ryoga Hibiki, you have five
seconds to unhand me, before I start hurting you in interesting ways," she snarled through gritted teeth, her temper rising.
"Huh?" Ryoga eventually reached planet Earth and realised exactly what he was doing, and to who. "Eep!" He leapt away from
her, face a fire engine red. "I'm sorry!! I-I didn't mean it like that - I-I mean I never.. I didn't..."
"Oh, so hugging me was bad, was it?!" Ukyo felt her hackles rising (Just what _are_ hackles, anyway?) for some unknown
reason. 
"Well, believe me, it was just as unpleasant for me as it was for you!" Ryoga responded without thinking.  
"You... you... JACKASS!!!!" The raging fire oni took over Ukyo's body and moved forward to turn Ryoga into mulch.
Skuld stepped in between them. "Would you guys cut it out? I'm trying to hear what they're saying," she hissed, peeping
though a gap in the screens. Maybe Urd had given her a duff potion....
"Wo ai ni."
No such luck. *So that's what she meant about them always, somehow, backfiring.*
Ryoga and Ukyo silently called a temporary truce and cautiously peered around the edge of the screen. "O-oh my!" Ukyo blushed
and covered her eyes.
*THUMP* No prizes for guessing who passed out with a nosebleed that would make Mt Etna proud.
"H-hey, this is a public building! Get a room!" Skuld scolded.
"Shampoo... will you marry me?" Tsubasa stopped kissing her long enough to actually phrase the question.
"Aiya! Is so more romantic than defeat in battle! Yes!" 
*GLOMP*
The happy couple drifted away on cloud nine to the Cat Caf�, oblivious to everything around them, causing cars to swerve in
near misses as they casually strolled into the middle of the road, hand in hand.
Skuld sighed slightly. "That's so sweet..."
"Were you," Ukyo inquired. "Responsible for that?"
Like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, Skuld froze. "Uh..."
Much to her amazement, a giant smile appeared on the chef's face. "You got Tsubasa out of my hair! How can I ever thank
you?!" The brunette goddess facefaulted.

End Part XIV
Final song - Against All Odds
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Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !