Well, this is a somewhat revised, spellchecked, and reformatted version of 
something that I started long agon and I think I'm going to take up again 
(But Girl Days isn't being put on hold, don't worry!).

	It is also in response to the improbable Xover challenge... I don't 
know that you can GET any more improbable than this. =^_-=

	Kenko (writing under the name Kenjiro Cross)



-- Listar MIME Decryption --------------
-- Name   : LUNA1DR.TXT
-- Decode : from quoted-printable...



rob@studio.watertower.com (Rob)

        The Admittedly Peculiar Adventures of Sailor Luna
                Part the first, meaning, the first part.

        By Kenjiro Cross (well, REALLY Robert Haynie, but who cares?)

        The usual Legal stuff...
        OK, Sailor Moon is the property of this nice Naoko lady, and
Toei in the animated bits, and DIC who made up all the nice American
names and gave us some Sailor Moon which is better than NO Sailor
Moon, at least I think so.  And other people who I forget, but they
are bigger than me, so I'll try to remember in the future.

        Samurai Pizza cats Is copyright Saban, but the original,
Kyatto Ninden Teyandee is copyright someone else, although I forget
just who right now, but since I'm using the SPC jokes and continuity
(Continuity?!?) I'll stick with Saban.  Besides, this and MapleTown
are the only things they ever did right anyhow.

        Author's sort of notes:

        I'm using the "combination" names for some of the Sailor nice 
people that other fanfic writers have pioneered, like Serena Usagi 
Tsukino, because I forget all the real names, but I remember parts of 
them, and because I like them.  I'm aware that this means mostly the
vilified DIC continuity, but since when these chapters were first
written that was for the most part all I knew (I got better) I'll
stick to it-- and besides, the jokes are funnier that way.


        Timewise, I suppose this takes place after Sailor Moon R, and 
before whatever comes next.  Um, THIS is what comes next.  In this 
fanfic.  I mean, whatever comes next after this.  Oh and about a year 
after the end of SPC, with the Big Goofup  (I.E. Seymour's braindead 
stunt with the comet and all). In case you care.  Actually, it don't 
matter, it's a Fanfic, for pity's sake, and worse, a crossover, Geez,
for all we know it really fits in between the second and third
episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard.

        I apologize for the spelling errors... but for reasons that
are WAY to weird to go into here, I couldn't write this on my
computer and then post it-- I had to write it on my shell account
under Pico, and post it second hand, and pico hasn't got (at least
mine doesn't) a spell checker...  Bleah.

        And, so, with no more care than a earthworm has on a hot 
griddle... That didn't come out QUITE right...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++

        It was another normal day in Juuban Tokyo, which can mean
10-ban, or Crossroads, or a few other things depending on how clever
you are at punning in Japanese.  

        Admittedly, normal was a relative term in Juuban.  After all,
this particular district had been known for at least three separate
breakouts of what could at best be called paranormal activity. After
a long assault by what had been referred to as Youma, Monsters, and
"Oh my GOD RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES"  (the last by those people who had
actually SEEN them), then the cardians  (Which, in general followed
#3 above in the minds of most people) and the Droids (And if you
CAN'T figure out where they fit in the general populace's mind, go
read a Ranma Fanfic. Preferably mine.), Juuban was enjoying an
enviable period of peace.

        This, in fact, was to continue, at least for a reasonable
amount of time. For everyone in the district... with one exception.

        Then again, she wasn't going to BE in Juuban anyhow... at
least not this one...

        The Stranger appeared in a alley.  Just appeared.  No bright
flashes, no eldritch gates, no eye-twisting juxtapositions of space,
time, and possible mutated ostriches.  He just popped in-- without
even the popping part.

        Then again, the Stranger had always held that the brilliant,
or dark, or confusing entrances that other paranormal beings
performed were in bad taste.  As far as he was concerned, the best
thing about the demise of the Dark Kingdom, referred to some as the
Negaverse (although it was merely a part of that dimension-- albeit
by far the largest part) was the elimination of certain overly flashy
loons.  Especially Zoisite.  Appearing in a flurry of flipping CHERRY
BLOSSOM PETALS.  I mean, how pointlessly flashy could you get?

        At any rate, the Negaverse was closed to this realm, and
broken in respect to others... almost.

        The Stranger looked to the north, and began to follow his
instincts.  No one noticed the ragged figure step out of the alley.
Even Tokyo, the most up to date, advanced city in Japan, had more
than it's share of homeless.  In fact, that may have been the reason.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++

        There wasn't anyone at home but Serena and Luna at the time,
when a knock came at the door.  Serena opened it diffidently.  Had
she been expecting Darien, she might have been more interested.  Had
the mail not already arrived, she might have been anticipatory.  Had
it been an excuse to avoid homework she'd have been just plain
elated.

        But Darien was out of town, for some reason, the mail had
arrived, and for once, Serena had done all her homework already.
(Because there had been no homework except Ms. Haruna's class, in
English, and having been sent a stack of Harlequin Romances by a
weird accident in the mails, and having managed to figure out a bit--
including some of the steamy bits-- had tripled her efforts in
English, bringing her grade up two levels...  to the astonishment of
everyone except Luna, who knew why, and Lita, who already had most of
them.  [ Don't Ask. ])

        So she opened the door, uninterested, but planning to be
polite.  This intent vanished at the ragged figure before her.

        He was tall.  This was, as far as Serena could see, was the
ONLY good thing about him.  The gaunt, grayish face, the long,
stringy, and either gray or greenish (She couldn't tell from under
all the grime) hair, the ragged clothes, the mismatched shoes (And a
toeless cowboy boot and a worn soled Nike is by any definition
mismatched) and the appearance in his smile that he had rolled a
six-sided die for each of his teeth, and had chosen to knock out each
that came up a 6, gave an impression that was certain to startle a
person with far stronger nerves than Serena.

        Well, perhaps that last was unfair.  When Serena was
EXPECTING trouble, she could be as brave (or nearly so) as anyone.  

        This, one might well guess, was unexpected.

        And THAT, one can deduce, is why Serena shrieked, at rather
incredible volume, slammed the door in the face of the apparition,
bolted said door, and dashed to her room in mixed panic and horror.

        Oh, did I forget to mention that he was a hunchback?  Well,
he was a hunchback. Sorry, I should have mentioned that.

        Luna, (who was, after all, a cat) had spent this oddly quiet
day exploring Serena's new headboard for her bed.  It's a cat thing
to like to snooze on highish, softish, and often narrow places.  The
new headboard was cushioned, and Luna had found just the right
places.  It was an unaccustomed reward for much thankless guidance of
the reincarnated Moon Princess.  

        When Serena dashed into her room and dived under her covers
at speeds approaching those of light  (At least, in retrospect Luna
had always claimed that she saw a definite red shift) , slamming into
the new headboard (A goof thing it WAS cushioned), Luna was knocked
back, between 
the headboard and the wall, to fall beneath the bed.

        "SERENA!  What are you DOING?" the cat yelled (Yowled?), 
understandably upset.

        "He... he's so... he was so...."

        It took a moment, but Luna realized that Serena was
completely terrified.  "What happened?" she asked, in a more helpful
tone.

        "I... I don't know why... I shouldn't have been..."

        "Actually, that's a normal reaction."

		"What do you mean, Luna?" asked Serena, confused that Luna
apparently knew all about it.

        "You're calming all of a sudden," said Luna at the same time,
assuming that Serena had gotten a grip on herself.

        Then the both of them remembered that the other was not a
baritone.  As Serena peeked out from under her covers in fear, Luna
peeked out from under the bed in concern-- which turned into fear.

        The visitor was... oh, come on.  Go a few paragraphs up and
reread.

        Serena felt the same panic she had felt before, again
wondering why she was so frightened.

        Luna felt a new panic, while her rather more rational mind
told her that this wasn't a threat to Sailor Moon, and if this person
tried anything criminal, he'd be in a grievous pickle.

        And the ragged man said, "You and yours, Princess of the
Moon, at the Fire Shrine, in a half hour.  Do not be late.  The fate
of a world rests upon this."

        And then, rags, broken teeth, stringy hair, hunchback and
all, he walked through the wall.

        Serena and Luna got to Raye's shrine in less than fifteen
minutes.  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        "I wish Darien was here...   I've never been so frightened...
I mean, even facing down Beryl or the Wiseman... "

        For once, Raye Hino wasn't being her usual sarcastic self,
that she tended to project to the world.  She'd been feeling
something that was both a threat and not a threat all day, and could
not understand.  Even the Sacred Fire gave her her strange,
conflicting images... images that made no sense, but held the
emotional sense of danger-- but not here...

        "I don't scan anything unusual, Serena." Amy was almost
kicking herself.  every effort she made was... nothing.  Nothing was
blocking her, nothing was acting as interference, but no matter how
often or cleverly she altered the scan parameters on her Scout Laptop
(as she'd started to refer to it in her head) she came up with zero.
No odd energy sources, no peculiar valences... nothing.

        Lita said nothing.  Her specialty wasn't mysticism or energy
sensing, it was battle.   She just kept a watch for the ill-featured
stranger that Serena and Luna had described.

        Mina was perhaps the least concerned.  She just sat with
Artemis in her lap, and waited.  New fight?  Then it's a new fight.

        Artemis napped.  (Well, you'd nap too if YOU'D had a six mile
chase after an understandable misunderstanding with a Rottwieler.)

        But, no matter what the inner thought of the various girls
(and cats) were, they all turned to the approaching sound of gravel
under foot.  And those who hadn't seen the ragged man before could
not repress a gasp of horror at his appearance.  (Except Artemis, who
was still napping.)

        "Wrong.  Wrong shapes.  REAL shapes, girls.  I seek the Scout
of the Moon."

        "Um, we don't understand?"  Serena said, hoping against hope
to just make this horrible person go away.

        The above mentioned Horrible Person looked right at Serena.
"Lies will not aid you or the task at hand, Serena Usagi Tsukino, the
reborn Princess Serena, the Neo-Queen Serenity to be.  I seek the
Scout of the Moon.  Present her."

        Raye bristled.  There was a palpable arrogance about this
wreck of a man, that stuck in her craw.  "Look, buster, you seem to
know who we are.  If you do, you KNOW who the Moon Scout is.  So why
the game?"

        The ragged man looked at Raye rather like a doctor would look
at an uncommon, but not at all rare microbe.  "I know who you are.
But where is the scout of the Moon?  Why do you hide her?"

        "Looks like we're just going to have to show him," Lita
half-growled.

        "I agree," replied Ami. "He apparently needs evidence."

        "Hey-- Like we thought we'd get through this without it?"
grinned Mina.

        "Mister, you want the Sailor Scouts-- you GOT THEM!"  yelled
Serena, gathering all her courage.  "MOON CRYSTAL POWER!"

        "MERCURY STAR POWER!"

        "MARS STAR POWER!"

        "JUPITER STAR POWER!"

        "VENUS STAR POWER!"

        The ragged man casually witnessed the transformations, and
frowned.  "This is incorrect, you know."

        "I Am Sailor Moon!  In The name of the-- HUH?"  Sailor Moon
interrupted herself in mid-speech.  "Look, I'm Sailor Moon.  See?
Recognize the outfit?  What ARE you looking for, anyhow?"

        "I," sighed the ragged man, "Am looking for the Scout of the
Moon, or in older fashion, the Moon Senshi.  Now, this I already
knew, even though it's odd to find the Moon Princess dressing like a
Scout.  But please, it's important, where is the REAL scout of the
Moon?"

        "Um... I don't understand," Sailor Moon began, but the ragged
man waved a hand, cutting her off.  

        "I'm just going to have to resense... Aw, NO.  There ain't
one.  None ever rose.  Great."

        The ragged man sat, grumbling.  "Great.  A whole world is
doomed because of an unfilled office.  An entire civilization is
going to fall because of an unfilled seat.  Some cosmic being of
destiny I am. This just plain stinks. "

        Sailor Mercury blinked.  Whoever this strange person was, he
sounded  sincere, if a bit mad.  "Umm... sir?  Perhaps if you tell us
what your difficulty is, we could help?"

        "No, you can't... you wouldn't fit.  Reality can only be
stretched so far, and then it breaks.  My readings say that the Scout
of the Moon is who I need, but... YOU!"

        The Stranger thrust out a finger, pointing at... Luna.



        NEXT TIME : O.K.  There are a few questions, such as--

        Who IS this Stranger guy, why does he say there's no Scout of
the Moon, and has he ever heard of Personal Hygiene?

        Why did he point to Luna?  (well, the title suggests a lot,
but WHY?)

        And What so far does this have with the Samurai Pizza Cats,
anyhow?  I mean, this is SUPPOSED to be a crossover...

        The answers, assuming the nice moderator person lets this
stay, in the next part of The Admittedly Peculiar Adventures of
Sailor Luna.  I hope.

	########

        The Admittedly Peculiar Adventures of Sailor Luna

                Part the second, meaning,the part that comes after
the first part.

        By Kenjiro Cross (well, REALLY Robert Haynie, but who cares?)

        
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
        What has Gone before:

        Well, a lot of stuff.  This ragged, smelly, weird guy came up
to Serena's house, right?  And he asked for the scout of the Moon.
And well,he seemed to know about the Princess thing, but he didn't
see the Sailor Moon thing, so Serena and Luna wet to the Shrine,
because the weird smelly guy said to, and the others did to, except
Darien, because he was out of town on a plot point (Oh, I shouldn't
have told you that) and then the smelly guy came by, and he knew all
of them were Sailors, so they did the Moon/Planet whatever thing, and
then he said that was STILL wrong, and then---

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        "YOU!"  he cried, pointing at Luna.

        At that, Sailor Moon frowned, and stepped forward.  "You are
not going to hurt my friend!  I am Sailor Moon, the--"

        "I know.  You are Sailor Moon, the champion of Love and
Justice, yatta yatta yatta. But you aren't."

        Sailor Moon just blinked.  This was NOT the way the usual
evil thingy from the deeper depths of wherever acted.   "But..."

        "You aren't," repeated the Stranger. " That is, you are, but
you aren't.  Oh, MAN, have things got twisted... I will HAVE to have
a talk with Pluto... this is screwed.  This is severely screwed." 

        To say that the scouts were dumfounded would not be accurate.  

		They were more than that, moving past nonplussed and rapidly
coming up on totally boggled.  Whoever this was, he certainly wasn't
acting like any other threat that they had ever encountered.  For
that matter, he was acting like NOTHING they had ever encountered.

        "Actually, now that I think of it, this could work.  Yes,
You, Luna, you can do it."

        Luna, (understandably), backed off, her hackles rising.  "Do
what?"

        The Stranger sighed.  "Let Me Explain..."


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        There were the worlds.

        The Outer realms chose Scouts, (or as some preferred,
Senshi-- choose your own flavor) by processes enigmatic to the Inner
realms.  (Some suggested that the outermost world, Pluto, did not
choose, but allowed another to choose for it.)

        By saying that the realms chose Scouts, do not think
election.  Think, rather, that the Elder Scout would know who to
choose as the newer one.

        But one day, the Dark Kingdom,  a faction within the
hellworld that was the Negaverse so powerful as to become, for all
practical reasons THE Negaverse, began war upon the inner systems.
And the Inner Systems, peaceful in what was known as the Silver
Millennium, were
not prepared.

        But they weren't helpless either.  The armies still existed,
there were warriors, and there were the Senshi... or some of them.

        Beryl had not been a fool.  It was the time of the
Choosing... where each of the Inner realms  would choose as new
Senshi.  And Beryl chose to attack before the two most powerful were
chosen... that of Earth, and of the Moon.

        The office of the Senshi of the Earth fell to Endymion,
(known as Darien by a few friends, that being his name before
confirmation as the Heir to Earth) and although unprepared, he did
well enough with it...

        But the office of the Senshi of the Moon was not passed on.
For the Moon, having been at peace for longer than any other world,
had seen no need of a Senshi... and when Beryl's assault came, there
was no-one ready...

        In another time, the holders of the offices were reborn.  Now
called Scouts, they were reforged as the Sailors, and the Earth Scout
as Tuxedo Mask.  By a mixture of error and destiny, the Moon Princess
took the office of Sailor Moon...    

        But there was as yet no TRUE Moon Scout, not true Senshi of
the Moon...


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


        "Do you understand?  For over a thousand years, that office
and that power has been empty.  I don't say that Sailor moon has done
badly-- In fact, for someone who isn't supposed to fight at all,
she's done great.  Heck, let her keep the job.  But she can't do what
I need
done.

		"I need someone to take the REAL office of the Scout of the
Moon.

        "And that means YOU!" he suddenly cried, again pointing at
Luna.

        Luna blinked.  "Um... Er... I'm a guardian, an advisor, I...
um... I'm a cat.  You must have noticed that.  I'm a cat.  A fuku
wouldn't fit me.  Stop LOOKING at me.  Please?"

        The Stranger frowned.  "I see.  Is the one who so often
enjoins Serena to be brave herself a coward?"

        Luna bristled. "I'm not a COWARD... but it's not my job!"

        "Oh, isn't it?  How often have you told Serena that to be
brave is her job, even when she's less prepared than you?  How often
have you pushed her into areas where she fears to go?  And now you
fear to take the same risks?  I had hoped better, once I saw you for
what you were."

        Luna blinked.  "What I am?"

        Serena added, "Yeah. What does that mean?"

        The Stranger said, coldly, "The first of her kind to have the
chance to actively make a difference.  The first who could become,
not an advisor to Scouts, but a scout herself.  The first who could
save a world of innocents from darkness... if she had the courage.  I
see now that she has not."

        The ragged man stood, and turned away, getting a few steps
before Luna cried, "Wait..."

        He turned slowly.  "Yes?"

        Luna stood.  "I... I don't understand all of what you're
saying, but somehow... I think you're telling the truth.  But... I'm
not a scout, I'm an advisor to them... I don't know what I could
do..."

        For the first time, the ragged man smiled.  "You might be
surprised, Luna.  Come here."

        Luna hesitated.  "Um... but what if something happens here?
What if the Scouts need me?"

        "Then I will aid them as you would.  But I see now that none
of them could fit where you are needed. Not as they are... and as
yet, they cannot go there..."

        The ragged man knelt.  Luna, uncertainly, approached.  Before
she could ask another question, the ragged man said, "And your
decision-- Yes?  Or No?"

        It was not pride, nor intellect, but rather instinct that
made Luna answer, "Yes."

        Before she knew what was happening, the ragged man stuck
something in her mouth, and said, in a voice that quite literally
rang from the walls, "DONE!"

        And then, Luna... wasn't.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        In an alley in Little Tokyo, a figure appeared.  Said figure
staggered to it's feet, uncertainly, shakily, weakly.

        As the figure shook it's head, a boy pointed at her.  "Look,
Mama-san, there's a naked lady in the alley."

        Mama-san, as the boy called her, was a dog.  Not that she was
unattractive.  (She was, but that was due to being oldish, not being
a dog.)  Mama-san was also a kind-hearted person.  And most
importantly, Mama-san was carrying a basket of laundry.

        So when Mama-san saw the confused, unclad girl, instead of
either calling for the police or laughing like a maniac, she instead
went to the poor thing, threw a kimono over her shoulders, and helped
her to the street.

        "Poor thing.  Are you all right?  You get too close to the
Big Gun?"

        The Girl looked up, uncertainly.  "Big... I don't..."

        <Amnesia.  Or something.  Poor thing, I just have to help.
After all, it's been a year since the bad ones were chased away...
and we're all doing so well, we should be kind to the less fortunate.
Which is probably only her.>

        Mama-san looked at the girl.  About fourteen, or fifteen
years of age, she was feline, with black fur and a longish white
mane.  Attractive, if not for the confused, almost panicky
expression.

        "What's your name, child?" Mama-san asked.

        An uncertain look passed over the girl's face for a moment,
and then, quietly... "Um... Diane.  Diane Tsukino.  I think."


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        Whoa.  Before you ask, yes, that IS the weird dog-lady who
with her son says strange bad jokes at each launch.  And yes Diane IS
Luna-- redefined.  But Why?  What's next?  Is anything next?  AM I
going to just type in a bunch of Odgen Nash Stories?

        Of Course Not.  Next time-- 'Diane' gets enrolled into
school, and a part time job. (Three guesses, the first two don't
count.)   

		Artemis fails to wake up-- and we find out  the REAL reason
why he slept through this.  (Destiny-- don'tcha love it?) 

		And the Stranger does enigmatic cosmic things that annoy
everyone... 

	########

        The Admittedly Peculiar Adventures of Sailor Luna

                Part the third,  meaning,the part that comes after
the part that came after the first part.


        By Kenjiro Cross (well, REALLY Robert Haynie, but who cares?)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        What has Gone before:

        There was this REALLY disgusting person who just happened to
be one of the fundamental cosmic forces of the Universe and a few
other things who dropped in on the Sailor Scouts and informed them
that Sailor Moon wasn't, not really, but rather that there wasn't
one- a Moon
scout, that is- and he said something about a world being destroyed
and he said Luna could help, and then Luna wasn't.

        Wasn't there...

        and wasn't Luna.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        "You can't remember anything, child?" asked the canine that
"Diane" had come to know as Mama-san.

        "I... I remember something about the moon, and about school.
And about... I'm not sure."

        Mama-san sighed.  The poor thing, she mused.  At that moment
she made a decision.  "Well, I'll talk to the constables... but until
we can find out who your parents are, you are going to stay with us.
Besides, my son has always wanted a sister."

        "No, I haven't, " input Junior.

        "Yes, you have."

        "No, I haven't."

        "Yes, _you_ _have_."

        "No, I haven't."

        "Military School."

        "Now that you mention it, a sister would be really keen."
Junior was no fool.

        And so, Diane Tsukino, as she now knew herself, found a
family.  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        Back in the world that Diane had come from before she was
Diane or even bipedal, a certain Sailor Scout who apparently wasn't
supposed to BE a Sailor Scout, although she WAS a Moon Princess, only
wrongly dressed, more or less, was yelling at incredible volume at a
person who looked a lot like he scrubbed sewers for a living.  It is
an indication of her fright, concern, and anger-- especially for once
anger-- that even Raye couldn't find a way to interrupt.  

        "YOU BRING BACK LUNA NOW!  YOU CAN'T DO THIS, YOU-- YOU--
JERK!  YOU BRING BACK LUNA NOW OR I AM GONNA REARRANGE YOUR
MOLECULES!  I AM GONNA SHOW YOU A WHOLE NEW USE FOR THE MOON SCEPTER!
I AM GONNA... I AM..."

		"Going to yell ineffectually at me for a very long time?"
replied the stranger.

		Sailor Moon's response included a lot of very remarkable
language.  Including some that even Amy had to look up in the Mercury
Laptop-- which produced a furious blush.  Where has Serena LEARNED
that language?  To be called a Sailor was one thing-- to cuss like
one was another...

        After some ten or twelve minutes of this, Sailor Moon finally
wound down, not from becoming calmer but from sheer lack of oxygen.

		The Stranger looked at her in a completely dispassionate
fashion, and replied, "No."

        As Sailor Moon began to take another breath, he raised his
hand, and added, "It's no use.  Destiny has many possible paths, but
once you start down one, it's done.  Luna has a destiny to fulfill,
as you and your friends have had.  By now, you should have some small
idea what that means."

        "I can't believe that we're getting all this from some reject
from a homeless documentary, " grumbled Mars.

        "Who?" asked the Stranger.  He looked at himself, and added,
"Oh... I do tend to overcompensate... Sorry about that."

        "Overcompensate for what?" asked Mercury.  While Sailor Moon
had been doing a rather skillful Raye Hino impression, she had
managed to get some sort of reading on the ragged man.  Said ragged
man apparently held forces in him that dwarfed Beryl, the Wiseman,
the Doom Tree, Sailor Pluto, and for all she knew the Starship
Enterprise-- combined.

        "Well, if I appeared as I am, you'd... die.  And you have as
yet destinies to fulfill, especially the Princess here.  And I
suppose I did go a bit too far in the other direction.  But, even I
am bound by my choices... so deal with it.  You really haven't any
other choice."

        "Haven't we?" Sailor Moon said.  She gestured, summoning the
Moon Scepter-- 

        And the Stranger waved a hand, and where the Sailor Scouts
had stood, now five schoolgirls were.  Dressed, for reasons
comprehensible only to the Stranger, possibly Sailor Pluto, and most
fanboy-otaku types, in the classic Playboy Bunny uniforms.  "No, you
haven't.  Now behave yourself, or I draw my next demonstration from a
Victoria's Secret catalog-- OW!"

        Even a being as powerful as the Stranger apparently was could
be stunned by five extremely loud, extremely embarrassed shrieks. And
the five girls could shriek with the best and/or worst of them.
Could, and did.

        "I don't understand what you're so upset about," grumbled the
Stranger.  "I mean, you can't possibly suggest that your Scout
uniforms are any less revealing."

        "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" howled Serena.  "THIS IS...
EMBARRASSING!"

        The Stranger shrugged.  Bunny-girl outfits became military
fatigues.  In a curious touch of whimsy, each bore the insignia of a
lieutenant, except Serena, who bore a captain's rank, and Raye, who
had in addition to her lieutenants insignia the markings of as
chaplain.

        "Better?  And I trust I have made my point.  There really
isn't anything you can do.  Now, let's see... Oh, the OTHER cat..."

        In the understandable confusion following Luna's
disappearance, no-one had noticed that Artemis was still sleeping.
Mina (or, perhaps Lt. Mina) turned towards the cat-- which was still
dozing peacefully.  

		"What have you done to Artemis?!" she shouted.

        The Stranger winced.  "What is it with you people and
screaming?  All I'm doing is dream-programming him so he can help
her.  Their destinies are interlinked, and he's going to have to
follow.  Isn't that obvious?"

        Five fatigue clad girls just stared.

        The Stranger sighed.  "Oh, all right.  It's NOT obvious,
though it should be.  At any rate, he's got the data I intended for
him.  So--"

        Again the ragged man waved a hand.  Artemis suddenly wasn't.  

		Mina gasped.

        "I assure you, he's quite all right.  Let me even do a nice
thing for you ladies... here, this will help."  The Stranger tossed
something on the ground.  All eyes followed it-- and snapped back to
the ragged man-- or tried to.  Since he was gone, what they actually
snapped back to was an empty space and a few confused fleas that were
certain that they had been someplace warmer and rather smellier a
moment before.

        Amy picked up the object.  "It looks like... a universal TV
remote?"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        Mama-san had practically adopted Diane.  She had found
clothing for her,(From a local second hand store), and even a
uniform-- which was needed, since Diane was obviously only some 14 or
15 years old.  And that meant School.

        Diane looked at herself in the mirror.  Somehow the school's
uniform-- a sailor-type skirt and blouse, seemed right.   She wasn't
sure why, but it seemed right.  It was almost as though she'd seen
the outfit often... perhaps, in her forgotten past.

        Whispers of her forgotten past kept showing up.  In doing her
hair, she'd at first tried to-- for reasons she couldn't figure out
at all-- arrange it into twinned ponytails with the bases done up in
balls.  

		Junior's observation that it looked a lot like meatballs
changed that idea, which was too complicated anyway.  Instead, she
arranged it into a simple single ponytail in the back.  

        She looked into the mirror again.  _Not Bad..._ she thought.
_Not bad at all.  The blouse fits, and the skirt fits, and the shoes
fit, and the watch fits, and it's ten minutes to class, and--

		"AAAAIIIGGHH!!!"

        As Diane raced out of the house, down the street, and to the
junior high school Mama-san had enrolled her in, in near certainty of
being late, something at the back of her mind kept suggesting that
this was also in her forgotten past.

        She was so concerned, she never paid any attention to the
scruffy, flea-ridden, hunchbacked, ragged wolf who watched in quiet
satisfaction, and then wandered down the street, whistling.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


        It was a mixed success, that first day.  Yes, she had been
late.  But she had also done very well on her preliminary tests.
While returning home, Diane mused on her good fortune.

        _Mama-san is so kind to take me in.  But it has to be a
strain on her pocketbook to take in another mouth... I wonder what I
can do to help?  I should do something--_

        And, while passing by a certain Pizza Cat restaurant (One of
5 in Little Tokyo), she noticed a sign in the window reading "Part
Time Help Wanted", and well....

        Suffice it to say that Diane had a three hour part-time job
after school, waiting tables.  And dear reader, if you can't guess
WHICH branch it was, well, Come ON.

        Across the street,  a ragged wolf nodded.  Things were going
according to plan... and well enough.  The darkness would come all
too soon.

        And the Stranger, as he was no matter what guise he wore,
walked off...


        NEXT:  What IS this darkness?   Why is it called a darkness?
Why am I asking YOU? I'm the writer here, you know!

        Anyhow, it's the first strike of the New Dark Kingdom, it's
rather unusual ruler, the return after a year of peace of the Samurai
Pizza Cats (And Bird), and the flat-out debut of Sailor Luna!  


        I think.

	########

        The Admittedly Peculiar Adventures of Sailor Luna

        Part the Fourth, which is not the same as reading the second
part twice, no matter WHAT they told you in Math Class...

        By Kenjiro Cross (well, REALLY Robert Haynie, but who cares?)
        
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        What has Gone before:

        OK.  There was once a Girl named Serena Usagi Tsukino.  She
was also called Sailor Moon, sometimes, although strictly speaking
she shouldn't have been, because what she REALLY was was the reborn
Moon Princess, and so wasn't really supposed to be running around in
a miniskirt throwing her hat at monsters.  Oh, all right, her Tiara.
You get the idea.

        And there was also this talking cat.

        And this guy who made the stuff you scrape off your boot
after a six-hour jog in a dog-kennel look positively charming.  He
just happened to be a being of near-infinite cosmic power.  You know,
the kind of guy who would look at the Silver Empyrean Crystal as a
rather poorly balanced marble.  The Cosmic type.

        And for reasons that are hard to explain-- because no-one
really knows what they are, this guy sent the talking cat to another
reality with somewhat different laws.  Luna lost her memory, but she
gained hands.  That's fair enough.  Luna found a nice dog-lady who
took her in, although by that time Luna didn't know she was Luna, she
understood herself to be one Diane Tsukino. She, being about 14 of 15
years of age, (as far as anyone could estimate) was sent to school.
Yes, they had uniforms.

        Also, the OTHER talking cat-- the Boy one, was sent....
somewhere.  We don't know where yet.

        Diane got an after-school job at a certain Pizza Cat
Restaurant.  (Five Branches in Little Tokyo, folks, and they
deliver!)  

        And so ended the set-up part.  Now, let's rock...


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


        (Place-- Tokyo, not the little one)


        "I can't get ANY lock on where Luna and Artemis are," Amy
said, unhappily.  "I can't get anything at all.  It's like they're
completely out of our universe."

        "That's pretty much what the ragged man said, isn't it?" Lita
added.  "That she was needed to be a Sailor somewhere else... but I
can't see how Luna could be a Sailor Scout... I mean, she's a CAT."

        Raye just stared at the Flame.  And got nothing.  No danger,
no good fortune, nothing.  It was as though some higher power had cut
the connection... at least as far as Luna and Artemis were concerned.

        Serena just sat, stunned.  Ever since she had met Luna, the
cat had always been there... sometimes scolding, sometimes
comforting, always guiding... always there.

        Mina was in much the same boat was Serena.  Of the five, she
perhaps was closest to Serena in personality... and she had shared
much the same relationship with Artemis, as Serena did with Luna.
Idly, she twiddled with the odd object that the ragged man had left
behind... a device that looked like a slightly demented television
remote.

        And as her thumb passed over one of the buttons on the
device, Raye Hino, Shrine maiden in training, Junior High School
Student, and secretly Sailor Mars, Champion of Justice, Mistress of
Flame, suddenly yelled a very very naughty word.  This was because
the flame was finally showing her something.

        The something was the 6:00 PM news from Kyoto.
        
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        Diane was actually fairly content.  In the two weeks since
she had arrived in Little Tokyo, she had found a surrogate family,
(Mama-san and Junior) a school, (Juuban District Junior High) an
part-time job (Waiting and busing tables three hours a day after
school, at the Pizza cat restaurant) and a hobby (Making notes in her
diary about Speedy and Polly's latest fight).

        The last seemed weirdly familiar, as though she'd known two
otherp eople who were great friends but fought a lot.  Actually,
everyone here seemed to spat a lot.

        Speedy and Polly were an item, a solid romantic couple.  They
also argued.

        Speedy and Guido were friends.  They argued.

        Speedy and Birdie (The only non-feline employee, Birdy was a
crow and the number-one table-waiter at the restaurant, although
Speedy had the edge in delivery records) were the best of friends,
the kind who would give their blood, hearts, even lives for each
other.  So naturally they fought like... cats and birds.   

        Francine just gave orders and ran the register, and cooked.

        And all of them kinda just saw Diane as a sort of
furnishing... except Speedy.  As Mama-san had adopted her as a
daughter, Speedy seemed to regard the teenage feline as a sort of
little sister.

        Not right at the moment, though.  He had arguing to do.

        "YOU made the Pizza, YOU took the order, YOU handed it to me,
it's not MY fault if the geek can't tell you what he really wanted on
it!"

        "Yeah, well, hitting the customer with his order isn't
exactly what I'd call solid business practice, buster!"  Polly
retorted.

        "He started it!  He threw that thing at me!"

        "The customer is always right!"

        "You spend a week doing deliveries and see if you sing the
same tune!"

        (Etc, etc, etc...) thought Diane.  At least no-one yelled at
her.  Diane just worked quietly, competently... and occasionally
mused on her situation.  

        No memory, really, of who she was, except a name that she
wasn't quite certain about.  Odd flashes of memory about the moon,
about a princess, about... Meatballs?  

        She shook her head, uncertainly.  That last memory-fragment
made no sense at all. Almost as weird as the dream about top-hats and
roses she had had the night before... or the one about deadly
frisbees, or the one about a princess attacking monsters with a
scepter. 

	    (Whatever my past life was, it must have been something
weird...)

        As Diane bused tables, served food, took orders, collected
dishes, and generally made herself useful,  a figure on a cliffside
overlooking Little Tokyo mused coldly at the city.

        Said figure was by the local standards, horrific.  A giant
(Over six feet in a world where some three feet was the normal
height), he was dressed in a strange grey uniform.  Furless, his face
was horridly flat, without any muzzle save for a sharp protuberant
nose.  The shock of red hair, the cold eyes, and the expression of
sheer malevolence would have meant to any resident of Little Tokyo,
Monster.

        To the residents of a different Tokyo, his scrawny body, buck
teeth, beady eyes, messed up hair, overlarge ears, and a face where
pimples warred unceasingly with freckles for supremacy (The pimples
were at the moment winning, but rumor had it that the freckles' chief
military advisor had a strategy that would win the lower left cheek
once and for all)  would have meant to any human anywhere, Geek.

        He called himself a general.  This was not STRICTLY correct,
but since the entire command staff of the Dark Kingdom was dead
(Except for Jadeite, who was doing a very good imitation of an
unusually large paperweight) there wasn't anything (Do I mean anyone?
Not really.) to argue the point.

        "Fools... Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoisite, Malachite, Beryl
herself... Fools the lot of them.  I alone stand alive of all the
forces of the Dark Kingdom, from the entire Negaverse itself... and
that power is mine entirely.  And I shall prove that I deserve this
power.  For, I, and I alone, will reap the energy of this world, to
reforge the Negaverse, to resurrect the Negaforce, to become master
first of this world, then of the Earth-realm, then of all reality
entire and as a whole!"

        A shorter figure, clad in thick robes, clapped, nodding it's
heavily hooded head.  "Great speech.  A really great speech.  Now,
can you do it?"

        "Of course I can do it!  I, and I alone, command the
remaining Youma, as well as the Youmaroids I have created.  As the
last of the high ones of the Dark Kingdom, all it's remaining power
flows through ME! And this world, this parallel particle of a planet,
has no accursed Sailor Scouts to balk my plans. "  He grinned... a
cold, crafty, and buck-toothed grin.  

        "Queen Beryl is dead... long live General Feldspar!"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        In another Tokyo, five girls, all gathered around a
supposedly sacred fire, dressed in military fatigues for reasons that
can only be explained if you go back and read Chapter 3, were staring
in shock at the aforementioned blaze.  Which now was showing,  rather
than it's usual mystic revelations, a documentary on the films of
Akira Kurosawa.

        By now they had figured out that the so-called universal TV
remote was apparently actually a universal Sacred Flame remote.  What
they had not figured out was how this particular example of the
ragged man's humor was supposed to help them.

        As Amy began a third scan of the device and the flame, Serena
picked it up idly.  Stared at it.  Clicked.

        The picture in the flame became a documentary on Vulcan
marriage practices, including their philosophical foci.

        Raye stared.  And instead of chastising Serena as she usually
would, just said "Click it again, OK?"

        Click.  A historical film... about the Gundam.

        Click.  A news report about the latest theft by the noted
master criminal, Arsene` Lupin III.

        Click.  A soap opera about the trials and tribulations of a
young bride married to a shapechanging husband in Nerima.

        "My God," breathed Amy, "It really IS a universal remote."

        "But how come we could only get local TV with it?" asked
Lita.

        "Hey-- it's obvious," replied Raye.  "No matter what her
other faults here, ol' meatball head is an expert at channel-surfing.
Might have something to do with her princess thing, or maybe the
Crystal.  But maybe she can get news on Luna and Artemis this way."

        Serena, uncertain weither to be angry about the meatball
crack, or to be pleased that she might be able to help, just started
surfing the channels... 



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        Time's a funny thing.  Where a few hours (in the Juuban Tokyo
that the four Sailor Scouts knew) had passed, a month in the Juuban
Tokyo that Diane knew had passed.  A month of peace, of happiness, of
a serene contentment that Diane somehow knew had not been her lot for
a long time.  As far as she was concerned, whatever her lost past had
been, it could stay lost.  

		Mama-san was kind (and refused to take any of the money that
Diane had been earning, since she had other sources of income that
were ill defined but more than adequate as is often the case in
anime), her grades in school were above average (even if she did have
a reputation for chronic tardiness) and there were even a couple of
cute boys that had started to pay attention to her (something she
somehow knew was severely lacking in her past life).  

		Serena might have been on the verge of ripping her meatballs
out by the roots, but 'Diane' was as happy as... um... As happy as a
girl cat with a nice homelife, pocket money, a few cute boys and
decent grades could be.  

        No way this state of affairs could be allowed to continue.
After all, that would make one hell of a boring story, right?  And
we'd also leave General Feldspar and that guy in the robes and all
the funky monster types out in the cold, sitting up on a cliff just
watching, watching and doing nothing, which don't make for that much
of a story, now does it, I mean really, it's just plain--

        "Ahem," commented the guy in the hooded robe.  "Could we
possibly get ON with the story?"

        Oh, right.  Sorry.  (Damn, I forgot that SPC characters can
sometimes hear the narrator...  This is SO embarrassing.  I mean,
having an as yet undefined whatever pointing out that you're
rambling, especially when you thought you were being clever and funny
and--)

        "GET ON WITH IT!!!" screamed the robed and hooded figure.

        "Who are you yelling at?"  inquired General Feldspar.

        "Um... no-one.  No-one at all.  You wouldn't understand,"
responded the robed and hooded figure (who I shall refer to
henceforth as Hood).  "So, which youma you going to send first into
Little Tokyo to spread fear and terror?"

        "I'm not", replied Feldspar.

        Hood blinked.  "Oh-kayyy.  Which part of the plan did I not
get, oh glorious and powerful master-type person?"

        Feldspar peered closely at his servant hoping to detect some
sign of sarcasm in his face.  This failed, both because Hood's face
was deeply enveloped in a... um... hood, and because Feldspar wasn't,
frankly, very perceptive.  (Where another would have been tipped off
by a smirk, a smile, or possibly a slightly raised eyebrow, Feldspar
would have been hard-pressed to notice a protruding tongue. With both
hands waving with thumbs in the ears and a chant of "Neener neener
neener".)

        "What I am going to do, is to send the Youma in, quietly,
undercover.  THEN I send in a dozen or so Youmaroids in to spread the
fear and terror you so aptly suggested... and the youma will absorb
the energy created by that terror and fear, and relay it to me.  Of
course, these pizza cat people you have mentioned will arrive to
rectify the situation... at which time, the Youma, properly
empowered, will eliminate them... and then I may reap this particle
of a planet unopposed and unopposable.  THAT is what I plan to do."

        (O.K.  Perceptive he ain't, but he has the grand villain
thing down pat.)

        Hood (possibly) grinned in appreciation.  "That's NASTY.  I
like it.  I really really like it."

        Feldspar allowed himself a quiet smile.  (Well, it WOULD have
been a quiet smile had not his teeth gotten in the way... so what you
REALLY have here is an unusually menacing buck-toothed grin.)  "More
to the point, Hood, is that I like it... and these so-called Samurai
will not.  I almost wish that there was a Sailor, so I could have the
sheer joy of watching her too fall at the hands of my agent..."

        
        All together now-- "Be Careful of what you wish for, yatta
yatta yatta.."


        In a part of Little Tokyo, things appeared.  Things that
looked a lot like short, deformed garden gnomes from the garden of a
particularly eccentric (and rather twisted) British gardener.   Think
of a cross between a hobbit and the Putties from the first season of
Power Rangers.  Add a half-gallon of warts, a wide maw filled with
ragged uneven teeth, vicious clawed half-paws, a stench that would
make a Vogon go for the closest can of Glade, and a somewhat
disconcerting resemblance to David Letterman, and you'd have
something really really horrible, but nothing like the Youmaroids.

        But the impact would be similar.  Suffice it to say that the
above is a loose attempt to describe these creatures of twisted
evil... and it fails entirely.  (But to understand the horrific
impact, attend a 49 hour marathon of Manos:The hands of fate.  The
un-mistied version. While sitting on a pan full of lukewarm oatmeal.
Naked.  NOW you begin to get the idea.)

        At any rate, these were creations so vile they threw the
citizens of Little Tokyo into a panic.  As they fled screaming in
terror, disgust, and the occasion case of flat-out nausea, an
unnoticed figure-- an apparently normal rabbit-- watched
dispassionately, and absorbed the energy generated by the fear and
loathing that the Youmaroids inspired in the populace.  Unnoticed,
unremarked, he followed the pack of pustulent prevaricators and
perpetrators as they smashed stalls and wrecked retailers.
(Alliteration.  Isn't it FUN?)

        In case you haven't guessed, these are the aforementioned
Youmaroids.  Once minor malignant creatures native to the Negaverse,
they were now transformed into minor malignant creature native to the
Negaverse that just happened to be having the time of their
not-quite-lives in being malignant in a rather minor fashion.

        Of course, such a state of affairs could not be allowed to
continue... and that was the thought of a massive canine in the
Imperial Palace (Version 2) who picked up a telephone and dialed a
certain number.

        This caused another telephone to ring, elsewhere (not
surprising, really, that's what Telephones DO.  I don't know why I
felt it necessary to even mention it.) which was then answered by a
certain cashier/manager at a certain pizza joint which had certain
people working there serving certain foods, specifically pizza, I'm
certainly certain that they served certain pizza-like foods and-

        "Excuse me, Mr. Writer, but you're kinda babbling, and I've
got to tell the others about this phone call?"

        Oh.  Sorry, Francine.  Please, go ahead with the story...
(Damn, this is embarrassing...)

        "'Kay!" Francine replied brightly to the writer/narrator.
"Thank You-- Oh, Guys, could you come here a moment?"

        Three minutes later, Diane Tsukino was informed that they
were closing for the moment, but she'd not be docked for the lost
time, and should just go and shop or read or something for the next
hour.  As she was rather rapidly hustled out the door, she just
missed the rather peculiar sight of her co-workers diving INTO the
three pizza ovens, with set and determined faces, and a fourth
leaping into a new chute set underneath the dishwasher.  

        As she turned about to get her bearings, she found herself
staring straight into the faces of Mama-san and Junior, who were
staring expectantly up at the roof of the restaurant. 

		Diane had gathered that the large tunnel-like construction on
the roof had something to do both with the rapid deliveries that
Speedy and Birdie were credited with, and also with the rather
unusual number of sonic booms one heard in the neighborhood.  But as
she followed her adoptive family's gaze up to the roof, she was
astounded as the large structure rose, becoming-- as far as she could
tell-- the Largest Colt .44 magnum Revolver in history.

        And then a voice split the air-- from loudspeakers set into a
nearby wall--

        "The peace and quiet has been nice,

        "And allowed us all an extra slice.

        "But Evil's raised it's head today,

        "So the Pizza Cat's are on their way!

        A pause, and then, "Oh, and a Pizza Bird too, and please stay
behind the white line while firing, and the Double Cheese and Dried
Bonito special is ending tomorrow night, THANK-YOU!!"

        And then there were three- no, four huge explosions, and as
Diane picked herself up from the ground where she had been knocked
half-senseless, she heard Junior say, "Wow-- that sure brings up
memories, Huh, Mom?"

        "It's only been a year, Son."

        "I'm only 12-- for ME those are memories."

        "WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?" screamed Diane, in confusion and some
panic.

        "Heroes, dear.  Well, let's get home, son.  We'll see you
later, Diane... and remember we're having that tuna and carrot medley
you like so much.  Oh, and see if you can get one of those nice
soupbones that Mr. Cerviche gave you last month for Junior's teeth
before you quit today, won't you?"

        Diane just stared in what could only be called dumb
stupefaction at the receding sight of her adoptive family, then at
the now lowering gun, then at the family, then at the now fully
lowered gun, then.. at the single most hideous thing she had ever
seen in her life.

        Those who remember the description of the Stranger from the
first chapter need note that little had changed, except a shift from
a vaguely human horror to a somewhat lupine horror.  In fact, the
addition of fur to the Stranger had only resulted in an opportunity
for the mange, the tail (if it could be called that) was broken in at
least three places, and his maw now sported one and one-half
oversized canines-- one-half because the left-hand one was broken off
in a jagged fracture.  In other words, there's been no improvement.
Those who missed chapter one are advised to go and read it-- but
until you have read the description of 
the Stranger, on an empty stomach.

        It is commonly understood that those of the feline
persuasion-- i.e., Cats, are somewhat more nimble than most others.
Diane, although not at the top of her class in athletics, proved that
by (a) letting out a incredibly terrified scream, (b) shooting up the
nearest light-post in 2.6 seconds, (c) perching on top still
screaming, and (d) clutching the bottom of her uniform skirt to
preserve her modesty, all the while with her eyes closed.  

        "I've overcompensated again, haven't I?" grumbled the ragged
wolf.  "At any rate, stop being silly, Diane, and get down here.  The
city-- indeed the world is in dire peril, and you are the key to it's
salvation."

        Diane, hearing the voice, looked down, gulped, and prepared
to let out another era-splitting yowl of terror at the unwelcome
sight of the ragged figure that had apparently decided to stay in
defiance of the obvious fact that nothing that gruesome could
possibly exist.  Then she met his eyes--- and for reasons she was
unable to explain then or later, calmed.  "H--Hai, mister..."

        The wolf smiled (not reassuringly, with a face like that
NOTHING he could do would be reassuring) and replied, "Just a
stranger, Miss Tsukino.  But I'm afraid you are chosen for a great
adventure..."


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        The Youmaroids, unaware of the staggeringly important events
taking place a few blocks away, were happily attempting to outdo each
other in the "Rapid Demolition of Little Tokyo Streets" event, a
sport that, while requiring considerable amounts of skill and
stamina, is not ever likely to gain recognition in the Olympics.  The
random carnage was suddenly interrupted by a ringing voice.  (Well,
actually, it was somewhat high-pitched, and a bit nasal, but Speedy
had never seen voice training as important to superheroics.)

        "You know, we've just rebuilt this neighborhood, and you
whatzits come around and start trashing it?  This is an insult that
cannot be bourn! Prepare to face four swords, miscreants!"
 
        And as the startled Youmaroids turned to see who was
speaking, a deeper voice called out, "A Sword Of Passion!  Guido
Anchovis!"
 
        "A Sword of Romance!  Polly Esther!"

        "A Sword of Justice!  Speedy Cervice!"

        "A Sword of... um... er... really sharp metal!  Birdie Crow!"

		At the somewhat less than impressed expressions of the other
three, Birdie added, "Hey, look, this is my first official time out
as a good guy-- I ain't got any practice at heroic speeches."

        "You'll learn-- but enough talk!  Let's get them, SAMURAI
PIZZA CATS!" -- the last three cried in unison.

        As they leapt into battle, there was an lone, annoyed cry
behind them, of "And Bird! And Bird!  Remember that, darn it!"


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


        Feldspar and Hood had retired to the fractured dominion that
had once been Queen Beryl's throne room.  Little remained in it save
two things-- a mirror-like device that Feldspar had managed to
salvage from Rubeus's UFO, and a large amber-like crystal which held
within it the remains of you know who.  Beryl had kept it about to
act as an object lesson to her hordes.  Feldspar kept it about
because the smooth flat planes of the crystalline prison made a great
surface for Post-it notes, which festooned the angular object.  If
Jadeite was still alive inside the crystal, as some of the Dark
Kingdom's denizen's hinted from time to time, then his punishment was
worse than Beryl could have planned, as Feldspar saw his remains as
little more than a bulletin board... a blow to the once-great
general's pride that even Beryl would have been hard pressed to
match.

        Feldspar's attention wasn't on the unfortunate Jadeite, but
on the mirror-like device-- a unit for observing other realities.
Attuned to the accessible one-- the reality of Little Tokyo-- he
watched at first in satisfaction,  then in distraction, then in
growing irritation as the four heroes-- well, two heroes, one
heroine, and a hero-in-training, if you have to be technical about
it-- went through the Youmaroids in much the same way as a chainsaw
goes through Jell-O.  The simile is even more apt since the
Youmaroids tended to dissolve into slimy puddles as a flurry of
swords, shuriken, claws, umbrellas, and incredible martial arts the
like of which I don't feel like going into because it would take at
least 25 pages to describe and even the most focused of otaku would
say "ENOUGH!", which is also a good description of this sentence.

        "It seems that your assessment of these Samurai is correct
after all, Hood," murmured Feldspar, idly rubbing a pimple. 

        "Oh, yes.  Trust me, they were this dangerous before HE
(pointing at Birdie, who was somehow fighting in a mirror-like
pattern to Speedy's) turned coat and joined them... now they easily
have the two best swordsmen in all Japan and two other warriors that
should not be discounted. And besides, they also have a lot of
comics, and there's a videogame, and a lot of fans, really rabid
ones, and their own usenet newsgroup, even at least 30 websites
devoted to them."

        Feldspar turned to the hooded figure, and snarled, "What does
THAT have to do with my plan to draw energy from the terror of the
populace and resurrect the Negaforce, rebuild the Dark Kingdom and
the Negaverse, and eliminate the eternally accursed Sailor Scouts?"

        "Well, nothing, I suppose.  But I don't see any Feldspar web
pages out there..."

        "I'll force a thousand after I rule the universe.  At any
rate, I'll just have to escalate matters..."


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        The last of the Youmaroids were down and melting, and Speedy,
breathing a little heavily, sighed "Man... what were those things?"

        "I dunno," replied Birdie, "But even the WORST of my old
companions in the Crow Clan could have taken out three at once..."

        "Look at the streets," added Polly. "Talk about yuck-- it's
got to be at least three inches in slime.  Yeech."

        "Yeah," said Guido.  "They may have not been much at
fighting-- but there were an awful LOT of them... I just wanna go
home, get in a hot bath, and listen to Placido Domingo albums for an
hour."

        "PLACIDO DOMINGO?!?!?" Chorused the other three, in shock.

        "Uh,  er... heh.  Did I say Placido Domingo?  I meant...
Um... someone else."

        "Excuse me."

        The three (and one more, I remember, I remember!  OKAY?)
turned to face a rather mild mannered lapine, who adjusted a
ill-fitting pair of glasses and murmured, "Um... I'm sorry, but
there's one other thing you have to fight, sirs and lady?"

        "What?  Where? Who?" the four asked, looking about.

        "Me, here, and I," answered the somewhat unimpressive
rabbit-- which changed as they stared into a huge, overly muscled,
red-eyed, fang-toothed, scaled uber-bunny from hell.  Which in a
sense is exactly what it was... being the first Youma that Little
Tokyo had ever seen.

        "This," Guido commented, "Is less than good."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        "Do You understand, Diane?  Do you understand all I have told
you?"

        Diane shook her head.  "How can I?  Guardian to a princess of
the Moon, of all things... destined warrior of justice... shadows of
a past evil resurrected... it all *sounds* familiar, but I can't
place any of it... I'm just a high school student, mister, you got to
have the wrong girl."

        The Stranger sighed.  "Look, it's simple-- first, reach into
your back pocket."

        "I don't HAVE a back pocket in my school uniform,  mister."

        "Just DO IT."

        Hoping to humor the obviously nutzoid ragged wolf, Diane
reached back... and felt a strange coldness envelop her hand, felt
something thin touch her fingers.  Grasping it, she bought her hand
out in front, to gaze on what seemed to be a rather ornate fountain
pen, with a marble-sized sphere on the end of the cap with a crescent
moon charm floating inside. 

		"Wh--where did this some from..."

        "You carry with you a sort of extradimesnional pocket, Diane.
Call it, oh, kitty-space.  You may find it useful also.  Now,
understand me-- you will have to learn much on your own, but when I
can, I will be there for you.  For the moment, all I can tell you is
Luna Power... the pen will do the rest."

        "Luna Power?" asked Diane-- and realized that the Stranger
had vanished into thin air, the floating crescent moon in the pen-tip
had started to rotate-- and suddenly emit what she afterwards could
only describe as moonbeams... which wrapped around her, and changed
her...


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        The fight had not gone well.  If Youmaroids were easily
beaten, Usagor (as the youma was ironically called) wasn't.  A
strange sort of force-field had shown itself to be proof against the
various special attacks of the Samurai Pizza Cats (and associated
bird), while some pains, bruises, and in Guido's case, what felt like
a broken ankle demonstrated that the reverse was far from the case.

        In another reality, Feldspar was chuckling grimly.  This had
proven to be more entertaining than he had ever hoped... the four
warriors were putting up a good fight, but the magical field
surrounding Usagor was proof against their attacks, as he had
expected.  The field had been developed during the first Dark
Kingdom/Earth war, but hadn't been used because of a single fatal
flaw-- which wasn't relevant on THIS alternate planet.

        Feldspar's chuckling grew until it was coming close to the
sort of peal of laughter that only one certain Jinnai Katsuhiko could
manage-- and then choked off.  His eyes bulged, his teeth ground, his
nostrils flared, and for a moment he actually looked as evil as his
soul was-- for a moment, the twerp was gone, replaced by the fiend.

        And Feldspar whispered one word...

        "Impossible..."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        And at the moment when it seemed that nothing was going to
stop the now taunting youma-bunny, a cry of outrage erupted from a
nearby rooftop-- "Monster!  You days are numbered-- in minutes!"

        And all eyes turned to the somewhat bizarre sight of a young
female cat, white-maned and black-furred, wearing what looked like
some sort of weirdly stylized school uniform, with a gray skirt and
sailor-type collar, and silver bows at the chest, back, and halfway
down her tail.  Short white cuffed boots on her feet, white
elbow-length gloves with ribbed silver trim on her arms, and a sort
of gold tiara with an onyx-like gemstone on her brow completed the
weird, but somehow appropriate outfit, as she continued--

        "City Streets are for pedestrians to walk and cyclists to
ride, not for monsters to slime!  Marketplaces are for shopping, not
for terror!  I AM SAILOR LUNA, CHAMPION OF JUSTICE, GUARDIAN OF THE
PRINCESS OF THE MOON!  And in the Name of the Moon, and of the
Princess of the Moon-- I WILL PUNISH YOU!"

        And then Sailor Luna looked just a wee bit less self
confident, and murmured to herself, "as soon as I figure out how..."


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++

        Next:  A big fight, a special attack, a unusually focused
Guido, a really REALLY unhappy Feldspar, and a mysterious hero who
throws, well, not roses, all appear.  And things get wierd.  (As if
they weren't already.)

	Oh, and Serena continues to redefine channel-surfing.