Thank you all for your helpful comments. I take no offense, believe me. I
need it, because the folks around here give me nothing more than a "The down
key is broken! Fix it!"
To explain, Alterations and Revisions was originally written to fit into my
broad web of stories that involve Universal Salidihm Xanth. Future chapters
in the old version include the Wordsmiths and the Warriors of the Blade, but
I think I'm going to phase those two groups out. Unfortunately, the old
version is a bit too esoteric for the general audience. The end was designed
to be a universal shift that would lead into "In The Interim", but I decided
that it was too self insertion-y to survive as is.
Anyway, here are some of my replies:
"You didn't really get into what happend to the characters as the memories
resurfaced, except with that bit with Shampoo."
Beky: The characters are still in shock, so they are rapidly switching
between the two sets of memories. The scenes where they integrate are
written already, actually. They each come into it at a different pace.
As to the pace of the story, I admit it goes pretty fast. That's probably
cuz I'm adapting it from the highly esoteric 250 KB version I wrote in the
course of a week. I have stories that go much slower.
"I also want to see the meeting of Nabiki and Pluto. Are they sisters, or
is Pluto her daughter?"
Setsuna is her daughter. Time/dimension talent alternates generations. Their
meeting is written, but not adjusted for general audiences yet.
As for the comment about pre-readers.... any volunteers?
Like I said, I value the comments. I hope to have the second chapter up in
the next few days.
Beky Sarver
In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people
angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it does include a free annual
trip around the Sun. - Anonymous
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