Looks good. Keep up the good work on this project, Ed.
Some nits.
Edward Becerra wrote:
That was when the map fell open to the spot it had unfolded
to the day he'd first received it. To a listing of all the cursed
pools of Jyusenkyo, and what had drowned in each one. The name he'd
noted before caught his eye, and he sat rock-still on the futon.
An idea, a crazed, bizzare idea, filled his young mind.
a crazed, <bizarre> idea, *I think it's spelled this way*
As he entered the train station with the small backpack holding
the absolute minimum of supplies he knew he'd need, he froze. Nabiki
was standing there in front of the gate.
"Why, Hikaru! What a surprise meeting you here! Lovely day for
traveling, isn't it." she smirked.
isn't it<,>" she smirked. *Punctuation or capitalize <She> instead if
you prefer*
She smiled at him in that special way she had. The one that
reminded her classmates of a hungry pirahna. She felt a small surge
of pleasure as he began to shake like an aspen tree in a high wind.
of a hungry <piranha>. *Spelled this way I think*
Even those women busy dueling stopped, and every eye searched
out for the missing male. When they saw Gosunkigi trying to edge his
way behind a cottage, a roar of possessive outrage rang though the
entire village.
When they saw <Gosunkugi> trying to *Spelling*