All comments are welcome, although I'd prefer them to be constructive. 
I'll be finishing chapter 4 in a few days.  After that i'll probably
work on an expanded version of An Unlikely Couple.  Enjoy reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan, Inc do.  Rights in North  America
belong to Viz Communications
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3:

     Ryoga was just finishing a kata when she heard soft footsteps
behind her.  Turning she discovered that their source was Nodoka
Saotome.

     "Ryoga, I was hoping that we could talk."

     "I'd be glad to, Mrs. Saotome.  What do you want to talk about?"

     "It's about your behavior.  Normally I'd approve of manly
activities, such as sneaking into a girl's room at night, but I don't
think that's appropriate under current circumstances."

     "You'd approve?  What do you mean by current circumstances,
anyway?"  As far as Ryoga was concerned, Nodoka's statement made little
or no sense.

     "I mean that since you're a girl, at least temporarily, you should
behave appropriately.  Spying on other girls isn't proper," Nodoka said
sternly.

     Ryoga turned pale, and stammered a reply, "I wasn't spying on
anyone, I, Uh, I just wanted to talk to Akane."

     "Hmm.  I suppose there isn't anything wrong with that.  I just want
to make sure that you remain loyal to Ranma.  I know things are
difficult for the two of you right now, but I'm sure you'll solve this
problem."

     Ryoga might have had a sense of direction, but at the moment she
was completely lost. Ranma's mother couldn't have meant that the way it
sounded, could she?  "I'm not sure what you mean?"

     Nodoka frowned and decided to state her position more explicitly.
"I may not be comfortable with Ranma's curse, but I want to make sure
that he or she has a happy life.  You wouldn't do anything to hurt
Ranma, would you?"

     "No I wouldn't."  Ryoga didn't really see the connection, but she
was a lot more comfortable with this line of questioning.  After all,
she and Ranma had ended their feud quite a while ago.

      "Good.  Ranma still has a lot to learn about being a girl and a
mother does have a right to look out for her child."  Nodoka left the
dojo satisfied.  Ryoga was a fine boy, well a fine girl at the moment,
and she was sure things would turn out for the best.  With a little help
of course.

     Behind her, Ryoga stood dumbfounded.  It seemed she had meant it
the way it sounded.  The only thing that Ryoga was sure of was that she
wouldn't be telling Ranma about this conversation anytime soon.

===================

     "Okay, everyone.  Before we get to school I think we should talk
about some stuff," Ranma said.

     "Now isn't a good time.  If we don't hurry we'll be late."

     "We can keep walking, Akane.  This is important.  I don't think
Shampoo cares if we switch back.  She seems to like being engaged to two
guys."

      "Are you saying that you think Shampoo is really engaged to you?"
Although Akane's words were phrased a question, her tone was more
appropriate to uttering death threats.

     "I'm twice as engaged to you as Shampoo is.  I am an honorary
amazon, after all," Ukyo said, his words overlapping Akane's.

     "I'm not talking about any stupid engagement, you two.  This is
something important." Ranma said impatiently.  He then took an
involuntary step back, as Akane and Ukyo focused their gazes upon him.
"I didn't mean that the way it sounded.  I just think we should get that
statue from Shampoo and try to switch back."

     Ukyo said, "You might be right Ranma, but I'm going to be busy
reopening Ucchan's today.  I can't afford to close down for longer than
one day."

     Ryoga who had been silent until now, spoke, "I don't think it will
do any good, but I'll help.  Anything is worth a try."  As they
approached Furinkan High Ryoga peered ahead.  "Why do you think all
those people are standing out in front of the school?"

    "I can't believe that Kuno would try this again."  To Akane seeing
the crowd of boys armed with various items of sporting equipment was
like a bad dream come to life.  At least there didn't seem to be as many
this time.

     Any further questions that Ryoga might have had were cut off as the
horde charged forward, shouting battle cries.  "I won't let anyone
defeat you, Ukyo.  I'll do it myself."  Those words were repeated in a
dozen variations by the charging boys.

     Ryoga didn't really know what was going on, but she knew how to
respond when attacked.  Unslinging Ukyo's battle spatula, Ryoga began
brutally carving a path through the onrushing attackers.  It didn't take
long before she  was the only one left standing.  Ryoga noticed an
object flying towards her out of the corner of her eye.  She reflexively
caught it and then stared at in confusion.  Why would someone throw a
rose at her?

     "Truly they are fools.  Such beauty can only be won by one
deserving of it."  Kuno confidently drew himself up to his full height.
"If I defeat you, I will date you."

     "Leave Ukyo alone!"  Both Ryoga and Kuno were dumbfounded to see
what appeared to be a palm tree racing straight at the kendoist.  Kuno
however, reacted swiftly.  Without thought, he swung his bokken at the
tree, cutting deeply into its trunk.  The tree split open, revealing a
cute young girl wearing a rather frilly pink dress.

     "Kuno, prepare to die!"  There are many things that Ryoga can't
tolerate.  Along with ham sandwiches, one of them is seeing the
defenseless harmed.  Seconds later, Kuno was deeply embedded in the
ground and Ryoga was wondering how you got dents out of a spatula.  As
Ryoga knelt to check on the condition of the girl who'd tried to help
her, she felt someone grab hold of her arm and begin pulling her bodily
into the school.

     "Come on, Ukyo.  We've got to get out of here before he wakes up."

     Ryoga twisted futily in the real Ukyo's grip, but couldn't pull
free.  "Kuno isn't waking up any time soon, and I'm not scared of him
anyway."

     "I wasn't talking about Kuno."

=====================

     "It's your fault we were late, you know."

     Ryoga shrugged, out of habit being careful not to spill the buckets
of water she was holding.  "I don't see how you can blame me.  I didn't
ask to get attacked like that and I didn't make you wait for me.  I
don't know why you were so eager to get to class anyway.  We were
already late."

     "I wanted to get out of there before Tsubasa came around.  You have
no idea of the trouble I've faced."  Ukyo's expression was grim,
reflected the serious nature of his thoughts.

     "Tsubasa?  Is that the girl's name?"

     "Not exactly.  I mean, Tsubasa isn't exactly a girl."

     "What are you saying?  Does she have a curse or something?"

     "Tsubasa is a curse.  He's a cross dressing freak who's made my
life miserable."

     Ryoga became mildly nauseous when she realized that she thought
another ... well a guy was cute. "Don't you think that's a little
harsh?"

     Ukyo glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot.  "I dress
like a guy because I renounced my femininity when Genma ran off with my
father's yatai.  Tsubasa just dresses like that because he enjoys it.
That isn't the real problem though.  He just won't take no for an
answer.  Even with Ranma's help I was barely able to get rid of him last
time."

====================

     "Will you be quiet?" Ranma hissed at the girl following him.

     ""Sorry.  I'm not used to all this sneaking stuff."  Ryoga grinned
apologetically as she spoke.

     "If I didn't need your help to get here, I would have done it
myself.  Are you sure that this is the back of the Nekohanten?"

     "Yes, I'm sure.  Well, mostly sure."

     Ranma frowned.  Even if being in Ukyo's body gave Ryoga a sense of
direction, Ranma still wished he'd been able to get some else as a
guide.  There was just something wrong about this.  "That will have to
do.  The statue is probably in Shampoo's bedroom on the upper floor, so
we'd better start climbing."

     The two young martial artists easily scaled the side of the
building, Ryoga slightly behind Ranma.  Ranma was just easing the
window, when he noticed something.  Shampoo was in the room and she
wasn't dressed for company.  As Ranma rested his hands upon the window
sill, he felt a surge of pain.  He barely had the presence of mind to
remain silent as he jerked his hands away.  It wasn't until he was on
the way down that he realized he should have left one hand holding on.

     Shampoo heard a crash from the alley below and instinctively looked
over at the window.  Sure enough it was open a crack, and one of the
traps she'd set for Happosai had been triggered.  Well if the pervert
tried again, he'd find some very nasty surprises.  It was time to make a
few preparations.  Then she could finish getting ready to see her
airens.

     If Shampoo had bothered to look out of the window, she would have
seen the causes of the crash quarreling below.

     "Get off of me, Ranma." Ryoga ordered.  "Do you have any idea how
heavy you are?"

     "It's your body."  Ranma stood and winced as he pulled a spring
trap off of his fingers.

     "That's why you fell?  I thought that you were a martial artist and
then you go and stick your fingers into a trap like that," Ryoga said
sarcastically.

     "I was a little distracted.  Shampoo was in there.  We'll have to
wait for her to leave before we try again."

====================

     Ukyo smiled as she cooked.  Even though Shampoo had taken some time
off, supposedly looking for a way to reverse the body switching,
business was as good as it had ever been.  If Ukyo had felt like being
honest she would have admitted that the Nekohanten's being closed
probably had something to do with that.  It also might have been due to
a slight difference in the way her chef's uniform fit Ranma's body.
Binding her breasts seemed both excessively uncomfortable and slightly
absurd.  Impersonating a guy, when you could actually turn into one,
didn't make any sense.

     "I'll have a deluxe okonomiyaki, please."  When Ukyo saw the person
who spoke, her eyes widened in surprise.

     "Nabiki, what are you doing here?"  Her hands a blur, Ukyo began
preparing the requested food.

     "Nothing much, Ranma.  I was just curious about why you were
running Ucchan's."

     "You know that Ukyo isn't feeling well, Nabiki.  I'm just helping
her out for a while."  Ukyo sighed inwardly.  The last thing that she
needed was Nabiki trying to stir up trouble.

     "That's nice.  You have to be careful what you do, of course."
Nabiki's eyes danced with amusement as she watched Ukyo try to interpret
her words.

      "What exactly do you mean?" Ukyo asked warily.

      "Just that a few rumors I thought had been laid to rest have
started up again.  After Hiroshi and Sayuri saw you with Ryoga at that
restaurant, people have started to say that you're seeing Ryoga secretly
because your mother doesn't approve."

     "That's absurd."  To those who knew the the true situation, Ukyo's
tone of voice indicated that she thought Nabiki's insinuations might
have more truth in them than she was comfortable with.

     "True.  But you have to be careful not to do anything that could
confirm those rumors.  I know how easily that could happen."

      "Right."  Ukyo set the finished okonomiyaki in front of Nabiki.
She ate it in silence and then paid the bill and left, leaving Ukyo to
wonder.  Judging by what Nabiki had said, she seemed to be trying to
help Ranma out.  That hardly seemed likely, but her advice was still
good.  Ukyo had entertained ideas of taking advantage of her position to
become closer to Ranma.  Thinking about matters more thoroughly it
didn't seem like a good idea.  There was another possibility though.
She just needed to get Ryoga to cooperate.

====================

     "Will you hurry up and open it?" Ryoga hissed.

     "I'm trying.  Shampoo must have locked it after last time."
Ranma's voice was laced with frustration.  A martial artist could climb
a wall by digging his fingers into small cracks and depressions, but
that didn't make it a pleasant experience.  Especially if it involved
hanging from one arm while trying to pry open a stubborn window with the
other.

     "Then just break it.  I'm getting tired of hanging here."

     "I've got a better idea.  Follow me up."  Ranma decided to ignore
Ryoga's softly voiced comment that told him just where he could put his
ideas.

     After they'd reached the rooftop, Ryoga turned and asked, "What's
the bright idea now, fearless leader."

     "Simple, I'm going to go in through the ventilation system."

     Ryoga looked at the duct opening comparing it's size to that of
Ranma.  "You'll never fit."

     "It'll be a breeze."  Ranma smiled as he produced a canteen and a
thermos.  "All I have to is change into P-chan and find the statue.
It's small enough that I can carry it out and you can change me back."

     Ryoga was silent for a moment as she evaluated the plan.  It seemed
like it could work, but it also had the potential to go hideously wrong
and embarrass Ranma.  "It sounds like it's worth a try."  Either result
was fine with Ryoga.

     Ranma opened the canteen and tipped the contents over his head.
Ryoga then fished the small pig out of the pile of clothes and dropped
him down the ventilation shaft.

=================

     "Have you considered the problem that we face in our plans to unite
our schools, Tendo?"

     Soun Tendo stared across the shogi board at the heavy set man
sitting opposite him and replied,  "I don't see any new problems.  What
do you mean?"

     Genma smiled widely and took advantage of the opportunity to switch
a couple of pieces around.  "I mean the fact that Ranma is now Ryoga.
We can't have our children marry now."

     "Ranma's still engaged to Akane, no matter what body he's in.
Nothing has changed."

     "We don't know when or if they're going to get switched back and
until we do we can't go ahead with the marriage.  If our children got
married now, Akane would end up being Ryoga's wife."

     Soun scratched his head absentmindedly.  "Then we'd have to get
Ukyo to marry Akane?  I don't think she'd like that, although I have
heard rumors about the Kuonji girl."

     His opponent shook his head impatiently.  "No that wouldn't do it
either.  After all, we don't know if they'll ever get switched back."

     "That-that's terrible.  Our lines will never be united!"

     Seeing that Soun was on the edge of a full blown crying jag, Genma
spoke hurriedly, "It's okay, Tendo.  I have plan to take advantage of
the
situation."

====================

     Ranma ran flat out, a series of darts clanging into the wall of
the ventilation shaft, mere inches behind him.  He risked a glance
behind him ,the small boulder looked like it had gained slightly.

     If he could have spared the energy, Ranma would have wondered what
kind of person tuned their air conditioning ducts into a death trap and
why it had been triggered by a pair of panties.  Of course, he already
knew the answers to those questions.

     Putting on a burst of speed, Ranma passed through the wall of fire
the sprung up ahead of him.  Thanks to his momentum, he was barely
singed.  Hurtling a row of spikes, he bared his teeth in a piggy grin.
He could see light ahead and that meant he was almost out.

       Ryoga's eyes shot open as Ranma hurtled from the air duct with a
resounding clang.  Something told Ryoga that things hadn't gone as
planned.  Perhaps it was the fact that the pig seemed to be smoldering
slightly.  Sighing, she unscrewed the lid of the thermos and poured the
contents over Ranma.

     "I take it there were complications."

    Ranma pulled hiss clothes back on while he spoke, "Yeah.  I think
Cologne spent too much time watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of
Doom."

     "Indiana what?  Never mind.  I say this time we use the direct
approach."  Ryoga was interrupted by the sound of a door opening and
closing below.

     "Too late, it sounds like Shampoo is back.  We'll never get the
statue with her there."  Ranma stared out over the street glumly.  His
expression changed when he caught sight of an unusual figure.  "Say,
Ryoga, do you see that girl in the pink dress?"

     Ryoga joined Ranma and scanned the street.  "You mean Tsubasa?  We
met and Ukyo told me about him."

     "Well, I have another plan.  This is what you have to do, buddy."

====================

     Kasumi hurried to answer the door.  She hoped that it wasn't
Shampoo again.  She'd been very disappointed when told that neither
Ranma nor Ukyo were available.  When Kasumi opened the door, she was
surprised to find a short, dark haired girl holding a strangely hooked
spear.

     "Hello.  I'm looking for a Ranma Saotome.  Do you know who he is?"

End Chapter 3