HARD TO SAY GOODBYE
~By Kayu-chan~
k-chan@rocketmail.com
http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~stroma/hard.html

*Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted to the ingenious of Rumiko Takahashi and
company. I own nothing on these characters or their "unusual"
situations. Ranma 1/2 characters used without permission.*
~Be warned, this will be a sorrowful fic but as for a bitter ending?
You'll just have to wait to find out... ^_~
~I recommend reading the previous chapters. It will be pretty confusing
otherwise and some of the characters will seem OOC. Check it out on my
website or e-mail me for details.~
~Despite a slight prodding by Lara Bartram and hopeful thoughts by me
that the next chapter would be done in less than a week, this chapter
ended up being late for many complicated and justified reasons that I
won't bore you with. Any glaring mistakes in this rough draft can be put
down to exam stress and I would appreciate knowing about any if you find
some.~

Chapter 15: More Than This

      Spikes of hailstones stampeded into the ground, crackling with
deadly intensity as they fought the windows that shut them out from the
warmth. Breezes that whipped and whirled the ice balls in waves of
unpredictable directions mocked desperate attempts to avoid these stones
with nothing more than umbrellas. Yet these were but last-ditch attacks
by the winter as spring slowly but surely invaded it.
      As Nabiki rushed into the school grounds, the final bell echoing
in her ears, she wished Spring would hurry up and come. Fingers numb
from the cold weather protested about her lack of gloves and she knew
that this wasn't going to be her day. She slammed the entrance door open
and dove in, collapsing onto a nearby bench as her weariness tripped her
up and weighed down on her chest, pushing all the air out.
      Remnants of sleepiness pushed her eyelids down. Good, she didn't
want to know what she knew she looked like: a bleary-eyed, pouting
teenage girl with split ends and hair sticking out at angles that
physics would refute the existence of. Not to mention a crumpled school
uniform and unpolished shoes. Perhaps she should've told Kasumi last
night that she was going into school. Then again, her older sister would
have tried to talk her out of it, probably insisting that she was "in no
fit state" to face class.
      The bell still rang in her ears even though it had finished - pity
her alarm clock couldn't have been as loud. Now, on her first day back
she was late. But she preferred being here to home where more than bells
annoyed her.
      Are you all right?
      Do you need any help with that?
      Why won't you tell me what's wrong?
      What happened?
      Are you sure you feel up to it?
      Was that really blood?
      Are you sure you don't want to know?
      All these questions, over and over again, had been her life for
the past couple of days. Ever since Akane and Kasumi had their public
argument over her, suddenly she was the hottest topic in the Tendo
household. Maybe she should've stayed in the hospital, after all. At
least Kasumi hadn't been too bad the first day but after that....
      "Nabiki? What are you doing here?"
      She opened her eyes to see a younger schoolgirl standing over her,
wearing a neatly ironed uniform with a physics-agreeing short hairstyle
that framed her ever-so-cute-and-sweet face just so. Not that a
bedraggled Nabiki cared either way.
      "Shouldn't you be in class, Akane?" she muttered, words spilling
off her tired lips. Two hours of sleep in two days will do that to a
person. She should know. "The teacher will be taking the register about
now."
      "Um, Sis...." Akane's confusion deepened further as it mixed with
the concern strained on her face that lifted her eyebrows into worry.
"School started half-an-hour ago, I'm on an errand down here for Miss
Hinako."
      "Oh, well," Nabiki sighed, without a hint of panic in her voice,
"I was going to be late, anyway. Guess this is a new record for me."
      Akane sat down on the bench and stared at her sister, trying to
gain eye contact without any success. The hail battered on the doors but
they stood stern against the attack, though the noise did grasp some of
the tension lurking inside the building.
      "I didn't know you were going to come today," Akane murmured,
studying her older sister's flat face, reluctantly pulled into life by a
soft melancholy. This touched her own features with a quirked disquiet.
      "Kasumi didn't know."
      "What?" Akane asked, surprised that her sister could read her so
well. Was she that predictable?
      "You heard me." Nabiki still wouldn't look at her, instead taking
comfort in the wall opposite but the rising irritation grating her calm
tone revealed what she was thinking. "She only found out this morning,
just like you. She's only known for an hour longer so don't get all
jealous."
      The words stung Akane's temper and it threatened to flare up like
her cheeks. How could her own sister be so blunt and dismissive of
everything that's happened? Didn't she care at all? "I'm not mad at you
and Kasumi anymore, despite everything that's happened but I'm a part of
this family and I'm not a naive little kid anym-"
      "Then stop acting like one." Nabiki paused, locks of hair
shielding her face as her head fell forward in weariness. "Don't go
thinking the world's against you, Akane, because you're not the one it
has a grudge against," she continued in a quieter voice, the sound of it
not even echoing in the entrance hallway.
      Without hesitation, Akane put her hand on Nabiki's arm and
declared in desperation, "Tell me what's wrong. Tell me! I want to help
you!" As her increasingly louder words bounced around the hallway,
carried by echoes, silence wrung more tension over the two Tendos. She
inwardly willed for Nabiki to look at her, to answer her, not just to
sit there as though nothing really mattered.
      Suddenly, Nabiki did just what she wanted, and the look in her
older sister's eyes caused Akane's eyes to widen in surprise. Nabiki
looked... confused.
      "Why, Akane?"
      "What?" This time, Akane really didn't know what her sister meant.
      "Why do you want to help me?"
      "What kind of question is that?!"
       Nabiki said nothing back, still with that strange expression on
her face. Each moment of silence gnawed at Akane's nerves almost as much
as the question angered her. She wished that her sister would let loose,
snap, cry, shout, joke, laugh, something to show that the
seventeen-year-old was all right, would recover from whatever it was
that bothered her. But she didn't.
      "What have I ever done for you, Akane?"
        Akane studied the vulnerability that flitted across Nabiki's
face as she said those words that soon disappeared under a flat
expression with a twitch. Guilt pulled Akane back from shouting her
frustration over this line of conversation even as concern pushed a
question off her lips.
      "What are you talking about? You're my sister, I care for you."
Akane almost shouted those words but she didn't want to give into her
anger. Not the way she had let it distance her from her sisters, not
like before. If only she hadn't given into her bitterness then she
wouldn't have to live with the memory of making Kasumi cry. And as much
as she knew that the chances of that happening with Nabiki were
practically zero, she didn't even want to take the risk. There were few
things worse than hurting her sisters, no matter how much they had hurt
her. She knew now that all her sisters had tried to do was protect her
from a truth they wished to have never uncovered. "You're my sister."
      "Oh," Nabiki said as she stood up, her eyes once again far away
but still completely focused, as if she saw something that wasn't here.
She clasped her bag and started to wander away from Akane, her footsteps
like the faint tapping of a drum, really just traces in the air bereft
of the full power of what could be. The sound of the stilted steps
skittered across the echoes to play on Akane's ears, causing her to rise
from the seat and follow Nabiki. To her, the measured footsteps of her
older sister seemed too measured, they seemed... resigned. But to what?
      Akane's cotton blouse seemed tighter against her skin as her body
tensed, the collar now pressed against her as skin bristled with an
anxious energy. Her fists clasped and unclasped as she thought of what
to say.
      "Nabiki." Akane's voice reverberated around the empty corridor,
her quiet voice imbued with the intensity of the sudden beat of a drum
in the middle of silence. Her sister stopped walking but didn't turn
around. "I know that you-"
      "No," Nabiki said, her highly-strung tone plucked at the
vibrations of tension murmuring in the aftermath of her sister's words.
Her shoes clapped against the floor as she started to stroll further
down the hallway, nearing the stairway.
      Akane wondered what to do now. Her sister didn't want help, even
though she needed it. What was she to do? Just walk away like Nabiki and
pretend that nothing had happened, nothing affected her? No way.
      "I don't like being interrupted. Next time, let me finish," she
suggested in a warning voice, loud enough for Nabiki to hear. "Hey, I
might say something you want to hear."
      Silence suddenly swooped down onto the back of the tension as
Nabiki halted and circled around to face Akane. A shiver danced up
Akane's spine, fingering her heart as she studied her sister's
expression. Nabiki's bleak eyes sung a tune so powerful yet so lonely
that it was as if it was someone singing their heart out in an empty
theatre. And Akane felt as though she were peeking from behind the stage
curtains, watching  something without permission. Her older sister's
lips played with a smile that somehow matched the eyes. This expression
only heightened Akane's resolve even as the foundations beneath it began
to be worn away by her conscience. Oh god, she thought, what's wrong
with my sister?
      "Akane." A voice clipped by regret hooked itself onto the quiet
atmosphere. "Turn back. Go do your errand for Miss Hinako and then head
back to class. Stay there. If you really want to help me, you'll do
that."
      "Why?" Akane breathed, her voice gripped by strain.
      "Because," Nabiki whispered, so quiet her sister could only just
hear her. "Because it isn't simple, it's more than one thing, much more.
You can't prevent it and you can't soothe or soften its blow. It just...
is."
      "That's it? That's all you can say?"
      Nabiki nodded. "That's all I know." She blinked and the song in
her eyes faded away,  any sadness imperceptible beneath the
monotonous hum of calm. "Go finish your errand."
      "It can wait," Akane murmured, her resolve wavering slightly.
      "Well, my classes can't." Nabiki turned away and towards the
stairs, each step leaving Akane in doubt as to whether to say anything.
      "Classes finish eventually," she found herself saying.
      "That they do," Nabiki replied in a wistful but still taut tone as
she started to climb the stairs. "Thanks."
      "For what?"
      Akane received no reply to her question, only the echo of her own
words.

* * * *

      Rrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee-
      As the school bell ripped through her senses, Nabiki sat up,
opening her eyes only to see clatter of teenagers and chairs surrounding
her. Stifling a yawn, this sight instantly woke her up from her
half-conscious daze. Having seen her state when she came into the
classroom, the teacher must have decided not to punish her from being
tardy. She couldn't recall much past that. Well, at least she managed to
get some sleep....
      "Nabiki?"
      "Yeah?" She mentally shook the last remnants of sleep away and
looked at the owner of the voice: a freckled girl with short hair cut
just like Akane's. "Umi, what do you want?"
      Umi sat at the desk in front of her and had turned her chair
around to face Nabiki. Others were either sitting or standing all around
Nabiki but didn't block her view of Umi, whose drawn, tense face was an
advertisement of nervous curiosity.
      Nabiki had been used to getting asked about the rumours going
around and people paying her to so they could find out the truth or what
she let them believe it was. But even this much attention wasn't what
she had been used to. Weird. She thought that they would have found a
new source of information by now.
      "Well, Umi? Out with it."
      "Um, now that you're back, we thought that you might know... that
you might have information on...."
      "The deal with Kuno," a boy interrupted Umi, his school uniform
loose on his lanky frame. He stood against a nearby desk but leant
forward to make eye contact with Nabiki. "Ever since the fire, we've
heard all sorts of rumours about him, like he's been seen wandering
around the streets looking even
more like a madman than usual... or that's he's in hospital... he's
homeless... broke... disappeared...."
      "Or that he's dead," Umi finished with whisper, her darkening eyes
revealing feelings everyone had known she had for Kuno, except Kuno.
That girl, in Nabiki's opinion, was just too shy for her own good, not
that anyone had encouraged her to tell Kuno. That would've just been
cruel.
      Umi pulled her some notes out of her purse and handed them to
Nabiki, who just sat there with a flat expression, studying the yen now
in her grasp. "You have to tell me what's wrong. You always know what's
going on, even when you've been away. Please, I'm willing to pay to find
out."
      Before Nabiki could react, the lanky guy named Ferio cut in again:
"And since you live with them, are Akane and Ranma really having a baby
and gettin' married? Is Ukyo really gonna be that  omaniser's mistress?
Tell me it ain't true!" Suddenly, everyone else murmured the same
sentiments before launching barrels of questions about Ranma, Akane,
Ukyo and Kuno that Nabiki couldn't even begin to comprehend. She found
money shoved into her face as people talked over each other,  questions
thrown all around the place like footballs. It gave her a headache.
      Although the gossip about Ranma did lighten her mood just a
little. Imagine, a smug Ranma sitting beside a heavily pregnant Akane in
the kitchen as a smiling Ukyo cooked them all some okonomiyaki. Yeah,
right.
      As Nabiki tuned out all the fuss around her, one look at Umi's
face grabbed that light and threw it out of the window and into the
wind. Lowered eyebrows, narrowed eyes that could have shed tears if
enough hadn't already been lost, Umi was shy but brave enough to let
anyone see how not knowing the truth was probably even worse than
knowing. And she was staring straight at Nabiki, obviously trying to
search for answers in Nabiki's eyes that she just couldn't give to Umi.
How could she say how she failed to save him? How she had snubbed him
and pretended not to care? How she refused to find out whether he was
dead or alive? How she saw herself mirrored in Umi's sad eyes?
      Gazing down at the money lying in her loose grip, peeking out from
her hand like a bunch of flowers, Nabiki's eyes widened at the sight
before her. The crisp notes started to droop like dead leaves as blood
climbed up the money and soaked it. Blood that seeped out from her
sticky palm, the warmth of it against her skin causing a sour taste to
coat her throat and choke thought from her mind.
      "Well, Nabiki? How much for the info?" Ferio asked in a loud
enough voice to shut up his classmates and catch Nabiki's attention.
      Nabiki blinked and the blood disappeared, leaving Umi's yen dry.
What the-
      "Hey, you!"
      Her gaze moved from the money to Ferio's eyes, whose impatient,
teeth-gritted expression cracked into hesitancy as it was impaled by
Nabiki's slit-eyed glare.
      "That is... um...." Ferio gulped and laughed nervously as he
brushed a hand through his blonde hair. "I was hoping that you would, if
it were at all possible, please do business with us, uh, before the bell
rings for the end of recess."
      Nabiki smiled inwardly as she watched the normally bold Ferio
stumble over words. In the last few days, she'd had more than enough
demands and questions than she could stomach. No-one in this class had
even said hello to her, just shoved money in her face and expected her
to be satisfied. Not that she could blame them for thinking like that
but money had done so little for her, recently....
      Holding the glare, she said, "I don't know."
      Everyone gawked at her, confusion twisting some people's features.
The chatterings of the rest of the class was the only thing to penetrate
the silence of the group.
      Ferio just blinked and whispered a barely perceptible, "What?"
      "I don't know how you can all be so blind to the truth."
Condescension spiked Nabiki's low tone as she studied those gathered
around her. She propped an elbow up on her desk and rested her chin on
her palm with a lazy look of self-superiority protecting anyone from
knowing how little confidence she really had. This was one of the few
situations she felt in control of and her messy hair and weary demeanour
would make it hard to hold onto any reputation, today. Did she have the
energy to keep a hold of it, though?
      "What are you talking about?" Ferio asked.
      "Oh, Ferio," she drawled in mock sadness, "no-one told me!"
      "Eh?"
      "About your recent head injury. Please accept my apologies."
      Ferio stared at her blankly for a second until understanding
scrunched up his face in offence. "Hey, I-"
      "Ukyo as Ranma's willing mistress with no complaint from a
pregnant Akane - this is what you thought might be true?" Nabiki made a
show of disbelief on her face and in the tone of her voice. "I'm not
taking money to tell you the obvious."
      "You aren't?" someone gasped, leaving the words 'taking money'
left unsaid.
      "No."
      "You? But-"
      The screech of the bell marked the end of the break and the
conversation. After taking one last bemused look at her, the group
returned to their seats and desks, murmuring and whispering to one
another. That, and the intense stare she had just received from Umi,
strangled the satisfaction she'd obtained from being able to turn down
money without any inward battle against it. It just... didn't matter.
Why did it have to matter to everyone else? Why did her whole
personality have to be defined by one trait?
      And as the teacher began his usual long-winded talk on Japan's
economy, she couldn't help noticing the money still held tight in her
hand.

* * * *

      Moody clouds stormed the sky with darkness and she could tell that
rain was coming. At the moment, though, the air was dry but cold and as
she looked out of the slightly open window, she wished it would rain and
refresh her face. Although at least she had a view of the city to study
and occupy her mind. It was going to be a long lunchtime avoiding
questions she didn't want to answer.
      "Nabiki." The soft, almost inaudible, voice of Umi spoke out and
disturbed her quiet. The words didn't even echo along the school
corridor and, for a moment, Nabiki considered pretending not to have
heard the other girl. "Please."
      "Yeah?" Nabiki replied, not even turning around to face the
schoolgirl. Nabiki was surprised enough that Umi had the confidence to
ask for help in front of the class but it was unprecedented for the girl
to approach anyone of her own free will and try to start a conversation.
      "W-why did you give me back the money?" Umi sounded confused and
from the reflection of her that Nabiki could see in the window, she
seemed... lost, as well. "Why did you, um, why didn't you tell anyone
about what happened to Kuno?"
      "Because I don't know anything." It was a half-truth, even though
she could easily find out if she wanted to. But for her, not-knowing was
much worse than having her suspicions confirmed and forced to deal with
the consequences. Though, she knew that Umi didn't feel the same way.
      "But...." Umi started before suddenly quietening, a silence
hovering in the air between the two like the clouds in the sky. Seconds
passed by and Nabiki wished that Umi would turn away and give up. "But
you do, don't you? You know something."
      "No."
      "Liar," Umi croaked and Nabiki spun around in shock to see the
girl crying.  A tension gripping her heart in guilt, Nabiki winced
inwardly at the sight. She tried to keep her features still and calm as
she studied the raw emotion streaking down Umi's face. Grief and anger
had swept aside any inhibitions that the girl had as her eyes bored into
Nabiki's with an intensity that reminded Nabiki of her little sister.
All she could do was hold the stare with a defensive distancy to match
the invasiveness and openness of Umi's.
      "I'm not."
      "You are!" Umi's tense body sagged forward as her face drew out
more lines of emotion, inked with confusion. "But I don't know why you
are. I've spent so long trying to find out what's been going on with
him. I didn't have the courage to go see him at the hospital because I
was too shy to and now it's costing me more than any embarrassment would
have!"
      That last comment came close to ripping away the calm front Nabiki
had displayed, a blink of the eyes the only reaction that was let
through. She couldn't let Umi know of the parallel between them, it was
hard enough just to admit to herself, never mind anyone else.
      "It must be hard on you."
      "What?" Umi said, anger still driving her personality far away.
"All I want is to know where he is. Don't tell me to forget him, like
everyone else has! I don't want to."
      "I'm not going to tell you how to run your life," Nabiki replied
with a sincerity that seemed to take Umi off-guard. Umi shuffled back
and forth as her anger fell away like dead leaves, leaving only a
suddenly shy person behind. "And I'm not lying when I say I don't know
whether he's... dead or alive."
      As Umi walked away, shoulders slumped in defeat, a hand grasped
her shoulder and she turned around to see Nabiki holding a pen and piece
of paper. Nabiki wore an unsteady smile on her face, one not quite sure
if it really wanted to be there or not.
      "If you give me your phone number, Umi, _if_ I hear anything out
of school...." Nabiki took a deep breath and the smile decided to stay
on her lips, growing wider. "...I promise to let you know."
      "Um, really?" Umi's downcast expression, hung on the trappings of
melancholy, lifted into a smile. She practically grabbed the pen and
paper, scribbling down a number. "I... How much will it cost me?"
      Nabiki's smile curved into a more amused one. "I don't need your
money, Umi."
      "You don't?"
      Nabiki continued to smile, though it never completely captured her
dulled eyes. "No. Because I don't live for it." At this point, a deja vu
threatened to mock her new found satisfaction with her actions. She
wouldn't even be saying this if it weren't for... oh, geez, couldn't she
even stop thinking about what had happened for more than a few minutes?
Her life had to be more than
this. It was. She had Tokyo University to look forward to, a promising
career beckoning her to a far-away country, to take her away from this
whole big mess and show her that her problems were small, that there was
more than this.
      Umi handed over her phone number and spun around on one feet as
though a ball and chain had been removed from around her ankle. "Thank
you," she whispered as if anything louder would break the spell trapping
Nabiki in niceness. Nabiki only wished that there such a thing, then it
would be much easier to break and destroy.
      But as she listened to Umi's light footsteps fading into the
distance, for the first time, Nabiki began to wonder if she really
wanted it destroyed.

* * * *

      Cool, fresh air wrapped itself Ranma's lungs as he bounded
outside, glad for the break in the rain, and headed for a small tree at
the edge of the building. Having been cooped up in that classroom for
hours without a fight or challenge of some kind had never been his
favourite kind of morning. Especially with Akane acting all weird, like
she had been for a few days now. No insults, no glares and worst of all,
no real smiles, just a bunch of half-smiles full of preoccupation. With
what, he didn't know for sure though he guessed it had something to do
with Nabiki.
      He missed Akane's smi-
      Right, he'd better practice that new move he'd adapted from
something Ryoga had turned up with a few days ago. Okay, first of all,
grab onto the branch and swing over....
      The way it lit up her face was s-
      Shaking his head, Ranma began to swing over to a fragile branch,
twisting in the air as he started the complex movements that needed to
be done in less than a second so that he wouldn't....
      And when she smiled just at him, he felt-
      'Snap.'
      'Thunk.'
      "Stupid branch."
      ...fall to the ground just like this. He shook his head again but
the picture of her smiling stubbornly stayed in his mind, as tenacious
as Ryoga. If he couldn't concentrate on this move, Ryoga was gonna have
an advantage, though an insignificant one, in the fight next week. It
was strange how a tree might end up being useful in martial arts
training.
      She had such deep, beauti-
      Man, these thoughts weren't gonna help him.
      "Ranma."
      Great, now he was imagining her voice in his head. What was wrong
with him?
      "Ranma?"
      He had to focus. Focus focus focus focus focus on her smi--no!
      "Ranma!"
      "Now I'm imagining her shouting at me," he said aloud. "I'm going
crazy."
      "Ranma, I'm real," the female voice grumbled back but with humour
softening the tone. "Now would you please look at me instead of the
tree?"
      He spun around to see her smiling at him, not one of those cu...
nice ones but still, a slight curl of her lips was better than nothing.
How was he gonna explain what he said? He'd need to think of something
believable.
      "I knew that," he said with a hey-nothing-can-ever-bother-me grin.
"I was just kidding you."
      "Right, Ranma," she replied, though an arch of an eyebrow revealed
her lack of conviction. "I believe you."
      "Of course you do," he immediately retorted with force, his
grinning face and smiling eyes betraying any seriousness he tried to put
across. This friendly joking between them had been quite common lately
and he enjoyed feeling so comfortable around her, it was a lot better
than the tense atmosphere that they used to share. He could very easily
get used to having this all the time. "Why wouldn't you trust someone
like me?"
      For a few moments, a silence drifted into the school grounds as
Akane opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself, saying nothing. Her
face became tight and drawn with one twitch of her lip. Causing a
sensation of something similar to a hand reaching into his body and
grasping his heart, her eyes seemed to go right through him as his fell
into hers. Even though he'd often gaze--looked at her eyes before, every
time there always seemed to be something subtle in her hazel eyes to
capture his attention and refuse to let go. Today, it was the dark
clouds that seemed to be reflecting in her eyes in more ways than one.
      "Akane," he found himself saying, surprising himself with coherent
speech.
      "Ranma," she said back in a low voice, the storm clouds turning
into lighter grey ones in her eyes. "It's not you I'm worried about. I,
um... I.... You could never lie properly, anyway, not with a poker face
like that."
      "Gee, thanks," he mumbled back, though he really was grateful that
she didn't look so disturbed after that last comment of hers.
      Stepping closer to him, she handed over a small box and swept away
the tension. "Now let's eat some lunch. Don't worry, Kasumi made it."
      "You don't wanna eat inside for a change?"
      A shy smile stirred on her lips and sent warmth tingling through
his chest. And if that wasn't bad enough, her eyes danced with a sparkle
that turned the tingle into a shiver right down his spine and played
with the feeling in his legs. He could barely stand. What was wrong? Was
he unwell or something? He sure hadn't felt ill this morning.
      "I want to eat outside with you," she breathed, her words barely
reaching his ears, though the soft tone ended up being engraved in his
mind. "I want to sit on the branch of the tree and look out at the view.
And, especially, I want no hassle from people in class about how my
pregnancy's coming or what I'm going to name the twins."
      "Twins?"
      "Well, it's better than the triplets I was apparently expecting."
      "Yeah. Less hassle with twins."
      A soft laugh from Akane melted away any tension that she seemed to
have left in her body. "C'mon, Ranma, it'll be end of lunchtime before
we know it. And that would mean you'd end up eatin noth-" Before she
could finish, he hopped up onto the branch and was opening up his
lunchbox.  She stood with her arms crossed over and glared up at him.
"Aren't you even going to offer?"
      Hand poised over the noodles, Ranma replied, "But you've got your
own lunch. This is mine." To punctuate this point, he inhaled most of
the pasta.
      She sighed loudly and continued to gaze at him, trying to
communicate through the impatience in her eyes what she was trying to
say. All he could do was look back down in confusion.
      "Not that, baka. Aren't you even going to ask me if I want help
getting up onto the branch?"
      His question answered, he paused from eating for a second. "You've
never wanted a lift up and y'always had enough brute strength to manage
before."
      The impatience in her expression twisted into annoyance. "But it
would be nice if, once in a while, you offered."
      "Geez, alright already. Akane, do you wanna hand up?"
      Grabbing hold of a lower branch as a lever, she jumped up and
grasped hold of the one Ranma sat on. Her lunchbox held in her teeth by
the string tying the small package, she clambered into a sitting
position beside him and then undid the box. "No, thanks, I can do it
fine myself."
      In reply, he shrugged and mouthed 'whatever' and finished his
lunch. Minutes passed by like the clouds, in silence. From where he sat,
legs dangling over the edge, he could see across the school boundaries
to the city: a haze of suburbs with tall buildings popping up in clumps,
some even disappearing into the clouds.  It was a scene he'd gotten real
familiar with ever since he and Akane had started coming up here,
sometimes arguing, sometimes laughing, sometimes in sulking silence but
usually just in half-smiles, glad to be out of school.
      A breeze filtered through the rustling tree but instead of
disturbing the quiet, he found that the sound only added to it. Glancing
at Akane from the corner of his eyes, he saw that she was tucking a few
loose strands of hair back, the wind playing with it in a way that left
it slightly wild and untamed. Her hazel eyes, though, were fixed on the
view ahead of her and her lips were open. She seemed to be reciting
something and her lips moved slightly, murmurs coming from her mouth.
      He could wait till later to do that new technique. Good things
come to those who wait, right? It was just a pity that he wasn't as good
at waiting as he was at martial arts. And that smile of hers, the one
she used so rarely, he was willing to hang around even longer for that.
Because it was worth it....
      Those lips of hers were still moving, maybe talking to him but all
he could see were those lips that he'd once k-kissed. Now he remembered
why he liked looking out at the view of the city so much, it was less
torture than looking at her and not be able to tell her how he... how
much he....
      "Ranma? So what do you think?"
      "What?" He blinked, dragged out of a fanta--daydream by her voice.
Oh man, she'd asked him a question and he hadn't been listening.
      "Yes or no?" she asked as he tried to avoid making eye contact but
failed. Truth was, not much of a battle was put up.
       In her expression, he saw what seemed to be thinly-disguised
hope. What would be the right answer? "Um, yes."
      "Oh." Her voice quietened and the hopeful expression faded, to be
replaced by disappointment that was mirrored in Ranma's thoughts. So, it
was a 'no' answer this time and he had got it wrong. He usually managed
to guess right, too. Oh well. He'd make sure to get it right next time.
      The conversation faded away like her old expression and he stared
out at the city, trying not to let the fact that they were sitting so
close he could smell her hair bother him. Nor let the fact that his
heart leapt higher than he could and his blood ran faster than a
sprinter as he accidentally took in a deep breath of a sweet strawberry
aroma. She liked that strawberry shampoo, she'd been using that quite a
lot and now he couldn't look at that type of fruit without thinking of
her....
      "Akane," he murmured in a low voice, not even realising that he
had said anything till he did.
      "Yeah?" She turned her head to look at him and he found himself
caught by those beautiful dark eyes of hers. Without a thought, he
leaned slowly forward, drawn towards her face, her eyes, her lips, till
he could feel her warm breath on his skin. "R-Ranma?"
      Broken out of the trance by her surprised tone, he drew away and
blushed, unable to face her after what had nearly... after what he
nearly....
      "Ranma?" Akane repeated, still sounding surprised.
      He was about to change the subject when he heard a quiet chuckle
from below.
      "My, my," an amused voice from below intruded on the peace
surrounding the two. "Now I see where the rumours come from."
       Ranma looked down to see who spoke, paling in shock and slight
terror at who he saw. Akane, though, didn't even bother to check who the
voice was.
      "Nabiki? You're back?" he asked, as if visual wasn't proof enough
for him.
      "And what timing... hmm, loverboy?"

* * * *

      "To calculate the probability in this example, class, you take the
mean and...."
      The fun of teasing Ranma had long faded for Nabiki. Sitting in her
usual seat, she tried to keep awake and the stares of her classmates
kept her sitting straight and rigid. They would still be wondering why
she turned down money without a second thought, why her school uniform
looked like she'd just thrown it on, why her hair wasn't neat and
sharply cut as usual and why her eyes were circled by dark insomnia.
      In other words, why she didn't look or act like Nabiki Tendo. At
least, the Nabiki Tendo they thought they knew from the day before the
fire. She had gone home one day happy from her day's  dealings and come
back months later looking as bad as she knew she did. This reminder of
the change of personality she'd undergone she didn't need. Why couldn't
they leave her alone? She'd come to school to escape the situation but
it felt more like an open-planned zoo with her as the main attraction.
Examined, judged, marked out of ten, put on show and eventually dumped.
That's how it would go. And there was only one way to get a breather
from this.
      "Sensei?" She raised her hand.
      "Yes, Tendo?"
      "Can I go see the school nurse? I don't feel too well." Just for
extra credit, she coughed with perfect timing and effort. And as
usual....
      "Of course, Tendo," the teacher replied sincerely, turning back to
the blackboard.
      After she pretended to struggle as she got up, trying to get rid
of a coughing fit she didn't have, Nabiki stumbled out of the classroom.
She tried not to notice the fact that no-one helped her or the fact that
the teacher started the class again as if she didn't exist or her health
didn't really matter. She tried so hard not to remember that this was
the first time she had actually noticed the subtle ways the school used
her smarts for themselves while ignoring the person behind the smarts.
Or that she had happily let them because she was using them right back
to get kicks and money....
      "What am I doing here?" she sighed as she settled onto a bench in
a quiet hallway far away from her class. Across from her, large windows
showed a drizzly wet view of rain blurring the edges of the landscape
and buildings. Grey clouds imposed themselves on the sky and the sun.
Suddenly, the rain increased in intensity and all she could see was dull
light as the weather hammered against the sturdy windows. To her,
though, it looked like it was hammering through the windows to get to
her.
      "I don't belong here." The rain seemed to get louder in agreement.
"Not yet."
      She lowered her head to the floor to look away from the window.
The tapping echoed in her ears but she ignored it as her thoughts veiled
all other senses.
      Did anyone here care what happened to her? If she didn't return to
class, would anyone wonder why or just gossip about it? Before
everything, she didn't need anyone to talk to, now she needed it badly.
Just someone unconnected to her family would do, just to listen to her
and understand and worry if she fell ill. Just a friend, a real friend.
Or had she lost all right to one, long ago? Like she'd lost a proper
family, lost an elder sister who couldn't trust her or a younger one
that wouldn't even look her in the eye, an auntie who worried about her
sisters but not her, a dad she hardly ever talked to and a
future brother-in-law, whose trust she'd never had. Was it too late to
ask for a friend in a world disjointed from her?
       Nabiki made her way back to class to collect her bag and books.
She couldn't stay here any longer but she didn't know where she could
go. The halls barely echoed her light steps as if she were a ghost.
Soon, she came to her classroom and opened the door, walking to her seat
and ignoring the stares around her. They didn't matter as their
superficial judgements were not what she cared to hear anymore, not for
any amount of money. She picked up her bag and coat and headed for the
door, stopped by the curious teacher.
      "What are you doing, Tendo?" he asked.
      Turning away from the class to the teacher she replied with worn,
blunt edge, "Leaving, Sensei. It seems I'm not ready for school, yet."
Before he or the class could figure out the real meaning behind her
words, the door shutting opened their consciousness and they saw she was
no longer there. Instead, she was striding down the hall, a cold mask
showing just how much she wanted to turn back and pretend that nothing
was wrong. Each step of hers was slow and measured as she left the
building and walked out to the shining street. Thankfully, the rain had
died down to a trickle.
      "I need more time... to adjust back to a normal life." Glancing in
a pool of water gathering at her feet, she grimaced at the sight of the
haunted, strained expression of the girl staring back up at her.
"Whatever that is for me, anymore."

* * * *

      The murky skies seemed pale in contrast to the dark skin
enveloping the trees in the park and the deep colour of the drenched
pavements. Remnants of the harsh shower from less than an hour ago had
permeated the wood of the park benches, still sparkling in what sun
there was through the clouds. Only the rich green of the grass lent any
optimism to her surroundings. Drops of cold rain still pattered against
her face and hands, the rest of her body wrapped in a thick coat. A
small smile graced her flushed face, feeling the effects of the cool
air.
      This walk had been the right idea. Taking a break from school and
from home, only having to answer to herself and her feet, let her
breathe in more ways than one. An hour spent not worrying about
confrontations and revelations that she didn't even want to happen.
Freedom. And it felt real good. No wonder Kuno had taken off like he
did.
      Not wanting to pursue that any further, Nabiki decided to have a
sit down on a bench and read some notes for class. After nearly dying,
getting her coat a bit wet wasn't something she worried about.
      As she took her folder out of her bag, something fell out and she
grabbed it before it touched the ground. It was one of the two
hand-written envelopes Kasumi said that Nabiki'd gotten a few days ago.
That's right, she out it in her bag so that she could have a read of it
at school. What could it be? Another unwanted, overdue payment from
another scared 'customer'? Great. That was all she needed.
      Yet, something about the handwriting on the front of the bulky
envelope disturbed her. After ripping it open, she tipped the contents
into her hand and gasped at what she saw, despite herself. A sliver of
silver curled around the lines of her palm, delicate chains wrapped
around each other in a tiny plait. Attached to this necklace was a small
pendant, dulled of its silver sparkle through neglect, engraved with an
outline of a rose. Yet it seemed so beautiful, anyway, emanating a grace
in design that had survived abandonment.
      A rose? Could it be...?
      She slowly turned over the pendant and saw a date and familiar
family name stamped in italics on the back.
      Oh god, it was.
      After staring at the necklace for a few seconds, still unsure of
how to feel about it, she held it tightly in her hand as she read the
small piece of paper that had come with it.


This is all I have left to give you.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.


     Clutching onto the chain and paper as if she would never let go,
she found herself wishing that it had been an unwanted payment. In a
way, it was.
     And unreturnable.
     How could something so sweet be so painful?

* * * *

      After returning home and making excuses for being early, Nabiki
had sat down for dinner and noticed something strange. The tension
between Akane and Ranma had returned after, apparently, a long absence.
No real fighting but the relaxed, friendly atmosphere between the two
had been drawn into a show of the two pointedly not looking at each
other most of the time, only allowing themselves a gaze when they
thought that the other wasn't looking. She knew that it had something to
do with the near-kiss early on but she didn't have the inclination to
help out. All that she needed was to draw more attention to herself.
Yeah, what a great idea.
      Now, she was sitting at her desk, a lamp fighting the darkness of
the room as she studied. Hours of intense studying had clamped a
headache onto her and worn down her eyes till they were so sensitive she
could barely keep them open. But on and on, she studied, absorbing
information that wasn't tied to the necklace tucked in the envelope in
the second drawer down. Plus it kept her away from any questions. All
she had to say was that she was revising and all questions fell silent.
       A knock on her door disproved that theory.
      "Nabiki," a quiet, almost imperceptible voice murmured. There was
something about the fragile tone of it that unnerved her. What was up
with Kasumi?
      "Come in," she replied, curious as to why Kasumi sounded even so
on edge.
      The door opened and Nabiki shifted in her seat to face her, her
tired eyes barely registering the shadowed face of her sister. What she
could tell though was that the highly taut nerves pulling Kasumi's face
into a strained expression weren't down to Ranma and Akane's relations.
The intense gaze she received from Kasumi made her want to turn away and
ignore it as it pierced her heart and opened up her worst fears for the
world to see.
      "I had a phonecall," Kasumi finally said, her voice still quiet
and low, "from Nurse Nanao. She wasn't supposed to call but she knew
that you ought to know something."
      Oh, it was about that. More hassle to come in to hospital and
answer questions about what happened and find out something she just
didn't want to know.
      "No," Nabiki answered forcefully, frustrated that her protests
still hadn't gotten through to her older sister. "You know how I feel
about that, I-"
      "This is different," Kasumi interrupted to her sister's surprise
and with more force than her. "This is much more serious, this-"
      "But it's about him, right?"
      For a few moments, Kasumi closed her eyes and took a few deep
breaths but when she opened her eyes again, the stress still showed on
her face. "Yes. But if you don't let me tell you, I know you'll regret
it for the rest of your life and I won't let that happen."
      Seeing the utter seriousness sharpening Kasumi's expression,
Nabiki's heart thumped so hard that she could feel its beat
reverberating around her whole body and she gulped as tension strangled
her throat. She held her gaze with Kasumi, trying not to flinch as she
read the fear of rejection in her sister's eyes and, even worse, a pity
that her sister tried so hard to  conceal.
      "You sure?" Nabiki asked, watching her sister closely.
      "Yes." Kasumi's expression and tone didn't waver.
      Taking a minute or two to listen only to the ticking of her clock,
Nabiki contemplated how to answer. Neither choice brought her
much hope but....
      "Tell me, Kasumi."

End of chapter 15.
Author Notes:

I have *no* idea when it's coming out but the next chapter (16) is
pretty important (to me, anyway) and I would really appreciate it if
someone would give it a good looking-over when I *finally* finish
writing it. Someone who's not afraid to point out both the good and the
bad, no matter how nit-picky  it may seem. There'd be no obligation to
C&C further chapters, just chapter 16.

To see if this makes it easier to C&C for ya, you can pick to do any,
all or none of these questions. It's your choice. I just wanted to see
if this would help increase C&C or not. I am my own pre-reader,
unfortunately, and not a very objective one. If you have any time to
spare, I would appreciate C&C of any kind. I understand that people are
busy and I'm not the only fanfic writer out there, so it doesn't matter
what size the comments are, either, or even that they end up arriving in
the middle of July.

As you can tell, I'm desperate. ^_^;

1. Did any scene jar in your reading? Why?Did any of the writing seem
over the top or under developed? Examples?
2. Any grammar/punctuation problems? Any typos or useless adjectives?
3. How would you define any, some or all of the relationships between
the main characters in this fic? Do you find any of these relations
unbelievable, jarring?
4. Are there any characters you particularly like/dislike? Why?
5. What about plot points or character developments? Any trouble with
them? Think any unbelievable or too slow/fast? Something wrong with the
continuity?
6. Do you feel indifferent to the fic or does it bring out any reaction
in you?
7. Any other comments or criticisms you want to make that I've forgotten
about?
8. Just what is it with me and question marks?? :)