[This copy is more complete than the previous Round 3, Part B.]
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
C-chan grinned at the camera, excitedly waiting for the next match,
before remembering that she had to ANNOUNCE that there WAS a match.
"Onto the next fight, Kazeko Kuroyama versus Yahiko!" C-chan said.
"... why do we need this gun rack?" ????? asked, turning to C-chan's
gun rack.
"Emergencies." C-chan replied, looking left and right.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
The arena lights go out mysteriously as "Liberi Fatali" (the opening
to FF8) played over the speakers. As the lights came back on, Kazeko was
standing on her corner post awaiting her opponent. Xelloss and Marller were
standing behind her, exchanging ideas for causing trouble for the
"protagonists" of the series.
"Holding Out For A Hero", written by Jim Steinman and recorded by
Bonnie Tyler began playing over the speakers. However, Yahiko didn't
appear. The audience and Kazeko began growing impatient.
"What's going on down there?" C-chan growled.
"Well, I've sent security down there, just in case Yahiko chickened
out." ????? answered.
Suddenly, the blue doors exploded open and Vegeta, wearing a red
shirt, flew through.
"Crap! I can't believe that Piccolo was right about this shirt."
Vegeta grumbled to himself as he took it off.
Yahiko's crumpled form was tossed onto the arena floor, followed by
a severely injuried Tsubame and a bleeding Kenshin who was clutching his
gut.
"Hey, you can't do that." Robo declared, turning his attention to
the unseen warrior.
"RAAAAAAAAH!" Vegeta roared, lunging at the unseen warrior
responsible for beating up Yahiko and company.
Suddenly, Vegeta was tossed across the arena as the unseen warrior
unleashed an unknown power. (Of course, it's an unknown power, you STUPID
FREAK! I've never seen this idiot before in my life! Oh, and A-KUN'S GOT A
BIG BU-AAAACKGH - Vegeta) Vegeta slammed into the far wall and collapsed to
the ground. The unseen warrior vanished before Robo could take action.
(How in the Nine Megamis of Eroticism did he vanish, he was an unknown,
unseen warrior? If you find out, tell me and I'll p1Ss oN YOUr gRA\/E. -
this idea balmed on TharzZzDunN) Robo alerted the Med-Techs and returned to
watching the ring. He wasn't paid to do much else. Besides, it wouldn't be
for another episode or two before they realized that his eye sensors had
found out who the unseen warrior was.
"HEY! What about our fight?!" Kazeko demanded as the Med-Techs
scurried in, grabbed Yahiko and company as well as Vegeta and carried them
off.
The lights dimmed as blue electrical discharges began to crackle
along the walls. Rush's "Leave That Thing Alone!" began playing. The fans
began to excitedly whisper amongst themselves, as Alex Lifeson's opening
guitar announced the coming of the Eternal incarnation of Shade. When the
bass kicked in, Sailor Pluto walked in, regal as any queen, and raising the
Time Staff high, opened the Gate of Time. Shade Eternal, his long black
ponytail and cloak swirling in the wind, walked out with a Sailor Saturn
that looked to be in her early twenties, their arms intertwined.
As the Gate closed, Shade could be heard muttering, "It's still a
damn corny way to enter if you ask me..." before Saturn shushed him.
With Pluto leading, they walked down to where the ring and an
impatient Kazeko was. Stopping outside the ring, Saturn took off his cloak,
revealing the black body armor concealed underneath. Pausing to kiss Saturn,
then to whisper something into Pluto's ear, Shade leapt HIGH into the air,
doing the usual cool looking martial art twists, before landing in the ring.
"Well," Shade said, sweatdroppping a bit, "I'm Yahiko's
replacement."
"A replacement fighter?" Kazeko asked.
"I was late, so they stuffed me into standby. If anyone chickened
out or got taken out before the match, standby applicants are let in to
replace them." Shade replied, sweatdropping more.
"Bring it on." Kazeko growled.
"FIGHT!" a soccer hooligan yelled into Shao Khan's microphone, which
was close enough to the cage bars for him to yell into without worrying
about getting shocked.
Kazeko fired off a Freeze Arrow as Shade took to the air, a visible
barrier protecting him as he rose. He released a low level blast down at
her, but she dodged and threw a fireball at him.
Shade moved out of the way and released a ki bolt. Kazeko dodged
out of the way and flew up to punch Shade in the gut, only to be be blocked
by the barrier Shade had made before flying. She dodged the ki blast Shade
released before backing off.
Shade flew forward, punching and kicking quickly only to be blocked
every single time as Kazeko blocked and countered. Shade blocked and backed
off. Shade focused his will and began punching at Kachuu Tenshin Amiguriken
speed, each punch launching a ki bolt.
"BURST RONDO!" Kazeko responded.
The blasts flew their opponent, forcing them to dodge the return
fire. Neither was getting any closer to hitting the other. Finally, both
fighters stopped out of frustration.
"Time to end this." Kazeko growled.
"I agree." Shade replied.
"%Darkness beyond Twilight, Crimson beyond blood that flows,
Buried within the stream of Time is where your power grows.
In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness!
Those who oppose us shall be destroyed by the power you and I
possess!" Kazeko chanted as Shade gathered power.
"DRAGU SLAVE!" Kazeko roared.
"SHADOW STAR!" Shade roared.
The two massive blasts flew at each other... and through each other.
Kazeko and Shade both watched the spetacle and tried to get out of the
way, but both were engulfed by the explosions. When the blasts died down,
Shade was in the ring while Kazeko wasn't. Shade won, barely.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Whew! Never knew we'd have to actually go with back-ups." C-chan
commented.
"Yeah. Too bad about Yahiko and company, though. They'll be
spending the next two weeks in intensive care. Vegeta'll be back in about a
day and a half." ????? replied.
"Still, who was that unknown warrior and what power was he, she or
it using?" C-chan asked, frowning.
"Hmmm, maybe we should stop the tournament for a man/woman/it-hunt."
????? said.
"Naaah. The fighters can take care of themselves and the Crowd
Barrier 2000'll protect the crowd." C-chan replied.
"You're right. But, still, it's interlude time. Um, how about Burn
Up W 2?" ????? asked.
"Sure. Let's go." C-chan said, leaving.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Interlude - Burn Up W episode 2, rent, buy or play it if you wanna
see it.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Now I'm sure of it. That attack on Yahiko was definitely planned.
The additional fact that we can't locate the Urd, Skuld and Belldandy that
were in this dimension is also odd. The barrier clinches it. Someone is up
to something and we'll need to find proof." Washu said, frowning.
"And we'll be doing that?" Thor inquired.
"Well, you four and the five other people I've contacted. A-kun,
Gavin, Ritsuko Akagi, Juri Arisugawa and Ensign Roy (the red shirt of the
group)." Washu said.
"Um, so, what do we do?" Gavin inquired.
"We'll be searching for the person who put the mysterious grey
barrier up and who kidnapped my nieces, just in case they aren't the same
person. I'll continue to try and break the barrier, but it's going to be a
long task. The barrier..." Washu began.
"...was made by someone as smart you?" Ritsuko asked.
"No. It was made by someone who didn't know diddley-squat about
barriers. It was most likely a cheap item purchased from a gag corporation
that managed to make a defective barrier intended to keep anything from
entering or exiting, but rather managed to get the exiting part right.
That's the real reason I'm taking so long. I've got to come up with an
answer that's just as simple and stupid as the barrier." Washu answered.
"Like just disbelieving it?" Juri asked.
"......." Washu replied.
"Anyway, we've got three girls and two mystery people to hunt down."
Skuld said, striking a dramatic pose.
"That one's trademarked." A-kun told her.
"Really?" Skuld asked.
"Yeah. By about three people." Gavin added.
"Darn it all!" Skuld growled.
"Um, Washu-chan. May I ask why I'm here?" Ensign Roy asked.
"So you can draw fire away from the rest of the team." Washu
answered.
"Crap." Ensign Roy answered.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"And now our next fight, Ken Masters vs. Trom!" C-chan said.
"We've GOT to make these introductions a lot longer. I mean,
talking chimps could take our places." ????? grumbled.
"Heeeey. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" C-chan asked.
"I doubt it. Unless you're thinking of how to get Sailor Pluto to
lay naked in a giant sundae bowl too." ????? replied.
"UUuuuh, no. I was thinking about getting two talking chimps to do
our job. We could pay their agents' fees, treat them well, give 'em bananas
and stuff and voi-la." C-chan replied.
"UUUUUuuuuuh, YYYYYY-no." ????? responded.
C-chan grumbled at her idea being shot down so quickly.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
As "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N' Roses began playing, Ken
Masters, Shotokan Master, began walking down to the ring via the red doors.
The blond rich man was wearing his red gi and waving to everyone in the
crowd, his fiancee Eliza walking next to him. When he was about fifteen
feet from the ring, he leapt forward and landed on the corner post and was
met with applause with the occasional boo.
As "Daydreaming boy" by someone (we don't know who) began playing, a
Chibi-Ranma, Chibi-Ryouga and Chibi-Kuno raced into the arena carrying a
large bag. They laughed merrily as they dumped out the contents.
Trom, aka. the contents, wearing green sweat pants with a green
jersey and had on white martial art shoes with white socks on underneath
them. He had some stubble on his face and his hair was sticking straight up
three to four inches and was cut close to the sides and back. Trom got up
and dusted himself off. Chibi-Ranma pointed to Ken.
"Go get 'em!" Chibi-Ranma yelled.
Trom assumed a high cat stance.
"fight..." Shao Khan murmurred in his sleep. Robo considered
zapping him in the butt with a laser, but had to get another look at his
contract before he did. He didn't want to get fired for killing someone who
was mildly useful. After all, the only reason he stayed here was a) because
of the barrier, b) the benefits and new armor and c) the great pay.
Ken lunged at Trom, who performed a jump reverse-axe-kick, striking
Ken right under the chin and causing the Shotokan Karate Master to stagger
back a bit before replying with a round-house kick to Trom's gut, followed
by a flaming Shoryuken, which sent Trom flying backwards.
But, before Ken could continue with his assault, he ground to a halt
and began shaking. He could sense something horrible entering the arena.
He spun around and nearly yelped as he saw Akuma, Master of Shin Shotokan,
stalking towards the ring, flaring with more power than Ken had ever seen,
even from Ryu, Sagat and M. Bison combined. Deciding to take his chances
elsewhere, Ken leapt out of the ring and ran for dear life, Eliza following
close behind. Plus, he might be able to get Ryu and Sagat to help him out
against the Dark Shotokan Master.
However, he had forgotten that by leaving the ring, he was
disqualified. Trom blinked as he had wanted to try out more moves on Ken.
Akuma went around the ring and after Ken. He ignored Trom because he had no
interest in anyone who wasn't a practitioner of Shotokan Karate.
Trom scratched his head and shrugged, considering it his good
fortune. He smiled and ran his hand through his hair. Behind him, the
Chibi-trio did a happy little fan dance.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"What........" C-chan began, struggling for an appropriate word to
complete the sentence and failing.
"Stupid luck?" ????? asked.
"Something like that. Um, why don't we go to our next fight,
Captain Gotoh versus Dewin Duvae?" C-chan asked.
"Um, sure." ????? replied.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Silence filled the arena, save for the confused murmurs of the
crowd. Suddenly, a large cape crept along the floor out of the red doors.
When it arrived at the ring, a small white mouse emerged from it and crawled
up into the ring. The mouse made puffing and wheezing noises and crawled
back into the cape. Hot water flowed out from under the cape and the cape
rose up, behaving as if it was going through a Jedi Masters death in rewind.
Finally, The Feared nay, The Dreaded or The Great Dewin is in the arena. He
leaned against the railing and calmly gazed at the doors where his opponent
would emerge. A husky young man ran up to ringside and waved to Dewin.
Daniel Duvae waved to his brother.
Captain Gotoh entered to Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage". He stepped
into the ring and glared menacingly at Dewin before his cellular phone went
off. He pulled out his cell-phone and answered it. After about half a
minute, his face began to show great annoyance.
"Fine. I'll be right there." Gotoh grumbled before leaving the
arena.
"Um, replacement!" C-chan yelled.
Suddenly, Doco's "Where Do We Go From Here" began playing and a
dark, silent figure began zinging to the blue corner of the ring. It leapt
up onto the corner post and revealed itself to be a white-haired man. His
hair was blowing dramatically despite the fact that almost no wind was
generated in the arena. The audience almost began singing "Beans, Beans,
the Musical Fruit", but when no one could smell anything or hear any
distinctive noises, they decided to let the stranger be. Seratia, Shinomori
Aoshi (from RK) and Sakurazuka Seishirou (from X/1999) walked up behind him.
"Kamui, you know what to do." Seratia told him.
Kamui Sha'Kanar nodded and turned to Dewin Duvae.
"Are you sure he's really a human and not that lanky mouse we saw
earlier that was saying 'Narf!'?" Kamui asked Seratia a little too loudly.
Dewin didn't know what Kamui was referring to, but he got mad
nonetheless. He began flaring with anger and a sickly pinkish-green aura
surrounded him, very similiar to Dan Hibiki's aura.
"Naw, he wasn't special. He was just an ordinary mouse." Seratia
replied.
Dewin's aura went from sickly pink/green to bright red. It also
grew in size and was now quite healthy.
"Remember, attacks before the match that are not accidental will
disqualify you." Robo reminded Dewin, keeping the angry nezumi-boy in check
temporarily.
"fight..." Shao Khan murmurred, waking up briefly to make sure no
one was poking at him through the cage's openings before returning to
slumber.
Kamui shot around the ring, circling and taunting Dewin. Dewin
pulled a metal baseball bat out of Pocket Space (tm) and swung it through
the blur that was Kamui, cracking Kamui in the forehead, sending the
white-haired man to his back. Dewin tossed the bat away and began tugging
on Kamui's head, trying to tear it off. Finally, he gave up and began
jumping up and down on Kamui's stomach.
Shinomori and Sakurazuka began getting into the ring when Shinomori
felt something hit him. He each found a little dart on his arm and about
ten more laying around him. Daniel Duvae, tucking away his tranquilizer
gun, hurried back to his side of the ring as Shinomori collapsed.
Sakurazuka began chasing Daniel. Kamui, now angry, grabbed Dewin and threw
him across the ring, to rebound on the ropes and come flying back, metal bat
at the ready.
*WHAM*
Kamui staggered back, clutching his head and wobbling dangerously.
Dewin rolled to his feet, ran up behind Kamui and swung again.
*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* *WRUNCK*
Dewin let go off his bat as Kamui collapsed, the bat wrapped around
his head like a metal pair of earmuffs. Dewin managed to roll Kamui over
and began stomping on his stomach again. With a count of three, Dewin was
declared the winner. This distracted Sakurazuka from chasing Daniel, who
managed to get away.
Dewin thanks the kamis and megamis for his victory. Seratia grabbed
a fan's hat, threw it to the ground and began stomping on it.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Wow! I never thought this fight would wind up like this." ?????
commented.
"Then again, we weren't expecting a forfeit before the match even
began." C-chan replied.
"True. Time for a commercial, then onto the last two matches of the
evening. Priss versus Ebitan and Mon Lon versus Parn!" ????? announced.
"Hey, this was made three years ago and stars A-kun himself." C-chan
replied.
The girls stared at the monitor intently.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Anime Express
SI-Wannabe: Aw man! I screwed up AGAIN!
A-kun: How so?
SI-Wannabe: Well, I wanted to get to the Urusei Yatsura Universe and I wound
up in Ranma 1/2!
A-kun: [turning to the camera] Has this happened to you? Tired of
unreliable self-insertions where you find yourself in a world you don't
know, with people you've never seen, doing things no one should ever have to
do? Worried that your next planned SI is going to be to the wrong universe?
Well, take Anime Express. We'll get you where you wanna go. So, no more
unreliable and dangerous self-insertions.
SI-Wannabe: Thanks to Anime Express, I got to the Urusei Yatsura Universe
without any hassles. Now, I'm engaged to Lum, the Lum Storm-Troopers and
Benten want my head, Mendou wants me to be his idol and Ataru keeps trying
to beat the crap out of me. Thanks Anime Express! [smiles showing that he's
now missing ten teeth.]
A-kun: So why do it the hard way? Take Anime Express. [A-kun gets on a
black train that's EXTREMELY familiar.]
Tetsuo: Move over.
A-kun: Sorry.
Tetsuo: Look, it's Captain Harlock!
[A-kun looks.]
[In tiny writing at the bottom of the screen, two warnings appear.
Warning #1: Anime Express is not responsible for any and all problems after
you arrive at your destination. Warning #2: Riding on Anime Express does
not guarentee that you'll meet Tetsuo, A-kun, Captain Harlock or get to ride
the Galaxy Express 999.]
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Both girls twitched a few times before bursting into laughter. When
they finally calmed down, C-chan noticed the camera was on.
"We're back with the fight between Priss and Ebitan!" C-chan said,
wiping a tear away while still giggling.
"Wanna slurpee?" ????? asked, blinking to clear her eyes.
"A Shin Slurpee?" C-chan asked.
"Probably." ????? answered.
"Eh. They're okay. Just remember to get me the Eva-02 limited
edition cup this time." C-chan added.
And somewhere, Jackson Ferrell, author of Shin Slurpee Evangelion,
felt a blantant plug had been made about his series. (to find Jackson
Ferrell's first five chapters of Shin Slurpee Evangelion, go to A-kun's
webpage at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Island/3968/index.html and visit
the guest page)
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Priss glared back at Leon and Daley, who were following her through
the red doors. They merely shrugged. Her pre-recorded song "Mad Machine"
was playing over the speakers as she, Leon and Daley walked to the ring.
Priss entered and checked her gun to make sure it hadn't been grabbed by a
fan or fallen out during the walk.
To the tune of "Everything You Know Is Wrong" by Weird Al Yankovic,
Ebitan walked in via the blue doors, confident in knowing that the only time
he had ever been beaten, he had been trampled under a stampede of heavy
martial artists. He got into the ring and tested his bamboo rod and made
sure it hadn't been tampered with.
"Say, does Weird Al's song really suit Ebitan?" C-chan inquired,
before realizing that ????? was gone.
Ebitan took up a defensive stance. Priss eyed the pint-sized Lucky
God Martial Artist, but decided that it didn't matter.
Someone had prodded Shao Khan awake, so he let out a tired, "Fight!"
With cool ease, Priss pulled her gun and shot Ebitan. Through the
chest. Making a large hole. Ebitan mentally cursed himself for not getting
that "knock the bullet out of the air" trick that all those movie martial
artists knew. Robo declared it a legal move.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"That.... has to be the SHORTEST fight so far. Well, next to the
Captain Gotoh forfeit and that Captain Tylor thingy." C-chan commented.
C-chan looked around nervously.
"Um, let's go to the Parn versus Mon Lon fight." C-chan said, trying
to smile politely and winding up with an evil smirk.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Mozart's Requiem was playing as Parn, Etoh and Deedlit walked
through the blue doors and down to the ring. Parn was carrying his father's
sword and wearing polished tan armor. He had a confident stride and managed
to climb into the ring after only three tries.
Fastball's "The Way" was playing as Mon Lon entered wearing the same
outfit she wore in Ranma 1/2: the Movie. She strummed her lute a few times
and smiled politely to Parn after she leapt into the ring.
Parn had been warned about Mon Lon by Etoh, who had apparently
talked to someone named Nabiki, who had talked to someone that was named
Scooby-Doo or something like that that had battled her before. The person's
name was something that you put in your hair. Conditioner? Buckwheat Soap?
Dial? Kelp? It didn't matter right now.
"Fight..." Shao Khan coughed into the microphone before brushing his
teeth. Robo sighed in disgust as toothpaste foam and spittle hit him.
Parn charged Mon Lon, his sword drawn and ready. Parn slashed at
her again and again, but Mon Lon seemed to slip past his sword time and time
again. He thrust his sword forward, but missed again. He made a
cross-slash and nipped the front of her outfit, but not enough to actually
tear the flimsy garment that hugged her lush curves like the arching curves
of a ripe plum. Parn launched into his fastest set of slashes, cuts,
thrusts and whirlwind cuts. Then he stopped. Mon Lon was on his head.
"Time to end this." Mon Lon said, before bringing her lute crashing
down onto Parn's head.
The lute broke. Parn grabbed her.
"Uh-oh..." Mon Lon squeaked.
After a quick, but relatively gentle, beat-down, Parn stood over an
unconscious Mon Lon. And for those of you who think Parn was mean, he was
gentlemenly enough not to punch or kick her in the face.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Well, we'll be back again in the future for Round 4, but again,
don't hold your breath." ????? said.
"Yeah, these things are hard to write, no da." C-chan commented.
TO BE CONTINUED IN ROUND 4
===============================================================================================
Apologies to those who did NOT get to do their finishing moves or
their victory signs due to physical or mental inabilities.
Anyone who is confused as to how someone can appear on someone's
team, then someone else's should remember that there are a lot of elseworlds
out there.
Signed, ????? and C-chan
And part-time writer, A-kun
To contact any of the three people above, contact A-kun at
akun15@hotmail.com
_______________________________________________________________
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