Jamie here. I was reserving judgement for this story until I was able to
read a little bit more. Now I am willing to commit. (But you must excuse
my occasional absense whilst I put together the pot roast for tonight's
supper.)

Gary Kleppe wrote:

The previous episode of this can be found at
<http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html#genie>. This has not been
pre-read. Please C&C, preferably on the list.

As you wish.
 

                            I DREAM OF RANMA

Arrrgh! Now I know why I hesitated in C&Cing this... It's that damn "I
Dream of Jeannie" theme music now reverberating in my head!

<snip> 

        "I'll go up and ask him to come down, Akane." Kasumi ascended
the steps toward Ranma's room. It wouldn't do for him to miss his first
day at Furinkan. After all, the reason Mr. Saotome had brought him to
Nerima was so that he could get a good education. After being on the
road for so long, he was probably excited about the idea of being in
school -- learning from teachers and meeting other boys his age.

A decidedly Kasumi perspective on the issue...

<snip> 

        His second problem was that Pop wanted him to marry Akane.
Surprisingly, part of him seemed to be giving the idea of the engagement
serious consideration. If he had to keep the curse, being one person's
genie would be better than being up for grabs, even if she didn't like
him.

What makes Ranma think that marrying Akane will make her his only master
(mistress)? Wouldn't his ability to grant wishes continue to remain an
"area effect" sort of thing?

<snip> 

        "Oh, thank you." She dumped a little water over his head, and
before he knew it he had become female. His Chinese shirt and pants had
disappeared, and he was wearing the genie costume. Kasumi reached into
her apron pocket and took out a pencil and a small piece of paper. "I
wish I knew the telephone number of the person whose name is written
here."

        She smiled, quickly jotting down a number on the paper. Ranma
felt relieved that that was all she wanted. A phone number couldn't
cause him a lot of trouble, could it? "Uh... is that it, Kasumi?"

A clever way around the wish-cancellation problem.
 

        "Yes, that's all. Thank you so much!" She nodded as she handed
him the kettle. He poured it over himself; his clothes, and everything
inside them, changed back to normal. "Now you need to hurry and get
downstairs. Akane is waiting for you!"

        Ranma scratched his wet head. "Why's she waitin' for me?"

        "Ranma, you know why your father brought you to Nerima, right?"

        "Yeah." *Don't remind me,* he said to himself.

        Kasumi smiled. "Well, it's that time!"

        "It's...." Ranma's jaw dropped. "*Today?* NOW?!"

        "Mm hmm!" She nodded happily, and slipped back down the hallway.

Heh heh heh...

<snip of Takahashi-esque communication breakdown>

        Ranma quickly followed Akane out of the Tendo grounds into the
street. A gray overcast haze blanketed the morning sky. Rumblings echoed
in the distance, as if forecasting doom.

Or the arrival of Tatewaki Kuno :p
 
<snip>
 

        "Aw crap," Ranma said in his now-female voice. Rain beat down on
him as he jumped from the fence down to the road. Soaked with water, the
genie costume clung to his body; it now left even less to the
imagination than usual.

Woo-hoo!
 
<snip>

        Akane sighed, then thought for a moment. "Okay. There's a
maintenance room in the basement of Furinkan. The staff keeps a pot of
water for tea there. I'll send you over, and you wait for me. All
right?"

        Ranma nodded, wondering why she didn't want to come with him.

        "Right. I wish you were there."

o/' Wish you were here... o/'
 

        Ranma's surroundings suddenly changed. Instead of Akane, he
faced a tool cabinet. The room was cluttered with miscellaneous
equipment, everything from step ladders to electrical meters. The rain
pounded steadily against a small window set in one wall. Water dripped
from his body onto the floor, and he shivered from the cold touch of his
wet costume.

        Quickly scanning the room, he spotted what he was looking for: a
kettle that sat on a small electric hot plate on a desk near the door.
He poured it over his head, and he was male.

        Then he was female.

        "What th--" Ranma spat the water from his mouth. He was back
outside in the rain, right where he'd been before Akane wished him to
school. She was about a block ahead. "Hey! Akane!" He ran to catch up
with her. His vest, soaked with water, bobbed back and forth like a
pendulum as he moved.

I had to admit that I saw this one coming.
 

        "Ranma?!" Akane stopped and turned around. "Why aren't you in
school?"

        "Because the hot water canceled your wish. I got sent right back
here."

        "Oh, good grief!" Akane's eyes narrowed in thought. "Well, why
don't we...." She shook her head, and water sprayed from her long hair.
"Aaargh! I just wish this rain would stop so I could *think* for a
minute!"

        The rain quit, as suddenly as if someone had turned off a
faucet.

Careful, Akane. 

        Akane reached into the air with her hand as if to confirm it.
"Of course! Why didn't I think of that?" Her mouth twisted into a wicked
smile, like a kid who'd just found the key to where his parents kept
their supply of candy. "Okay, now I wish for us and our clothes to be
dry."

        Ranma and Akane now looked as fresh as they had back at the
house. Birds twittered in the distance. A patch of blue peeked through
the cloud cover.

        "That's better. Now, one last thing. Ranma, I wish you were back
in your male form."

(echoing across the cosmos) 

        D'OH!!!

        Ranma transformed.

        Rain poured down onto already-drenched bodies. Ranma transformed
again. Akane screamed.

        "Just forget it, Akane," Ranma said. "I'll just go home."

        "Damn it, Ranma, I promised Dad I'd get you to school. And human
or genie, that's where you're going. Now just come ON!"

        "No way! I ain't lettin' those people see me like this."

        "That's it!" Akane's eyes snapped open wide. "Ranma, I wish you
were invisible."

        Ranma looked down; instead of his legs, he saw only the
rain-soaked ground. His body had disappeared, though he could still feel
it. He tried to move a hand in front of his face, and saw nothing.

Well that was a novel solution.
 
<snip to the arrival of the Blue Thunder>

        Ranma hopped to his feet. Standing near the blowhard, he stuck
out his tongue. Invisibility could be fun.

:)
 

        "I'm late, Kuno," Akane said. "What do you want?"

        "Why, to challenge you, of course!" Kuno flung a single red rose
toward Akane. "And should I be victorious, I would date with you!"

        Akane deftly caught the rose by its stem. "The same as them?"

Perhaps she should say, "The same as those 'peons'?" Tatewaki's
following reply would make better sense that way.
 

        "Well, yes. But *I* was able to express my intentions
*eloquently!*"

        Ranma tried to tap Kuno on the shoulder, and missed. He wasn't
used to not being able to see his own hands. Maybe if Akane made him
invisible again, she could do it so he could see himself but nobody else
could.

This I don't buy. As a capable martial artist Ranma has to have
excellent control over his movements, and I don't think he's going to
have a problem with depth perception or spacial awareness against a
large stationary target.
 

        "Kuno." Akane's teeth clenched. "If you don't get out of my way,
I'm going to be tardy. I haven't been tardy in four years. If that
happens, I'm going to insert that bokken where it'll be least
comfortable. Understand?"

        "Such truculence. Such vitality of spirit." Kuno moved to block
Akane's path into the school. "Truly, my heart is but your captive,
Akane Tendo. Oh, how I wish to date with you!"

        Abruptly, both Akane and Kuno vanished. The rose fluttered to
the ground, quickly becoming soaked with rain water.

        *Oops,* Ranma thought.

That'll teach you to hang out with Kuno-chan...

<snip>

        Tatewaki Kuno sat at one table, only occasionally pausing in his
speech long enough to sip his tea. "Of course, before the team's second
match, I had determined that improvements needed to be made. 'Fools!' I
did say to them. 'As captain of this, the Furinkan Kendo Club, I have
determined that your sloppy performance is unacceptable!' I went on to
decisively institute a nine-point stratagem by which to elevate the team
from its current mediocrity. 'Truly, your idea is the peak of
brilliance, captain!' said the team's lowly members as I outlined the
improvements that would be implemented. Firstly...."

At last the true horror of dating Tatewaki Kuno is revealed. I don't
think this aspect has ever been explored in Ranma fanfiction. Too many
people I think would tend to have him trying to manuever his date into
bed, forgetting that Tatewaki's first true love is himself.

        Across the table, Akane Tendo silently fumed. *I'll get you for
this, Ranma....*

And how is this (really) Ranma's fault? Nevermind. We're talking about
Akane here. It's always Ranma's fault.
 
<snip>

        Ranma saw his chance. He stepped closer, putting his mouth right
by the man's ear. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he shouted, sounding as mysterious
and fearsome as he could manage with his female voice. "I AM THE PHANTOM
OF FURINKAN!"

o/' And do I dream again? For now I find...  the Phantom of Furinkan
High is there - right by your side... o/'
    
<snip>

        "It's here! It's that ghost that we heard about this morning!"

        Sayuri sighed. A ghost? What was Yuka going to believe in next?
The tooth fairy? Wish-granting genies?

*ahem!*
 
<snip>
 

        "I heard about this from my great uncle. There's a secret
mystical discipline known to only a select few -- the 'how not to be
seen' technique. It's used by perverts in order to spy on unsuspecting
young women. The technique lets them stand around while we take off our
clothes, and we don't even know that they're there."

        Yuka's eyes bulged. Sayuri laughed inwardly at her little
practical joke. Who else but Yuka would be gullible enough to believe a
silly story like that?

Who indeed...?
 
<snip>
 

        "Oh, what a lonely life it is being a ghost!" Ranma said.
"Doomed to wander around, and haunt places, and um... y'know, other
ghost stuff...."

        The girls sighed sympathetically. "That is so sad!" one of them
exclaimed.

        Another girl came up from the back. "Mrs. Kinniku said to pour
this over the ghost." She held up a steaming kettle.

        "Uh...." Ranma gulped. "I think I'll be goin' now. Bye!" But
before he could move, the water burbled down onto his hair.

        He pulled the blanket over his head, covering himself
completely. Then he felt it jerked away. Looking up, he was standing in
the middle of a circle of girls, many wearing no shirt, all wearing
angry scowls.

        "Uh... hi!" he said feebly.

        The girls moved toward him.

"As ye have sown the wind, so shall ye reap the whirlwind..."

<snip>
 

        A splash of water greeted him as he entered the house, and he
went female. "What th--" He looked up to see Pop holding a now
half-empty bucket.

        "I wish you were wearing normal clothes," Pop said. The genie
costume vanished, replaced by Ranma's usual Chinese shirt and pants.
They hung loosely on his smaller female body.

Is Genma's wish for "normal clothes" what he expects Ranma to wear, or
what Ranma herself expects to be wearing?
 

        "Pop?! What the heck are you--"

        "Listen, boy." Pop gazed grimly into his eyes. "If you value
your life, do *not* tell the person in the kitchen who you really are!"

        Before Ranma could react, Pop dumped the contents of the bucket
over himself and became a panda. Ranma boggled. Just what was the point
of all this?

        "Oh, hello! You must be Akane." A woman stepped into the living
room from the kitchen. She looked roughly thrityish, with slightly wavy
hair. Dressed in a old-style kimono, she carried some long, thin object
about the size of a kendo stick, wrapped in cloth. "How do you do. I'm
Mrs. Saotome!"

Aiiieee... I see we are edging the level of conflict up just a notch or
two here.
 

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html

I will conclude with the one comment that every author longs to hear: I
look forward to more!

Jamie
-- 
       "Why are they wearing bras?"
          -Rachel Wilde, age 4,
while watching the Dirty *ahem* Lovely Angels...
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