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PART X
Deja-vu - 
Reflections don't always speak the truth.
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*BRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG*
*WHAM*
*Nothing _quite_ like the snooze button* Ryoga decided, giving the remains of his alarm clock a
quick glance before attempting to catch sleep again. Before he could succeed, Ukyo poked her head
through the door and threw a pillow at him. "Wake up!"
"I was asleep," he grumbled, batting the pillow away and closing his eyes.
"That was then and this is now and you've got work to do!" Ukyo open the curtains, flooding the room
with sunlight. Giving up, Ryoga stretched, then regretted it as every muscle in his body screamed
their protest by putting him in pain. *OW! I am never going anywhere near Doctor Tofu again!* He
winced a little and sat up slowly, trying to hide the pain from Ukyo. She pretended not to notice.
"Put some clothes on while I make breakfast, OK, sugar?" 
Entering her kitchen, Ukyo was hit by inspiration. Instead of making the usual okonomiyaki, she
could make him something special to show how relieved she was that he was all right. *That sounds
good! Let's see now...* She reached for a cook book. 
A few minutes later, Ryoga appeared. "What are you cooking?" he asked curiously. "It doesn't smell
like okonomiyaki."
"Miso soup, nori, natto and tsukemono," Ukyo explained, pointing to each as she named them.
Ryoga looked surprised. "You're not cooking okonomiyaki?"
"Nope."
"Okonomiyaki Ukyo is cooking something other than okonomiyaki?" Ryoga didn't notice the battle aura
flare up as he wandered around the kitchen. "That's incredible."
Ukyo reached for her battle spatula. "What's so incredible about it?!" she growled.
Ryoga still didn't notice the darkening mood. "I didn't think you could cook anything other than
okonomiyaki." He looked thoughtful. "I hope it's edible."
That was it. Ukyo swung. "JERK!!!!!!"
He finally located the source of the blue glow. "Uh oh."
*CLANG*

*Women* Ryoga decided, *are the bane of my existence.* Finally, it all made sense. Women were the
reason things went wrong in his life. Sailing through the air, he decided to work out the reasons to
pass the time until he landed. Firstly, there was the fact that he'd been born. Partly his mother's
fault. He chuckled a little. So it was a very sexist reason, but it was a reason. *Well, this is a
fun game. What else?*
Then, there was the bread feud. If he'd gone to a mixed school, the lunch time
riots would not be present, because all the boys would be trying to impress the girls. Ranma
wouldn't have constantly stolen his bread and the fight would never have been made. A distinct lack
of women was the problem there.  What was next? Umm.... he was incredibly shy around them. That was
definitely a disadvantage as far as he was concerned. As soon as girls started to be cute to him, he
passed out. And if they showed off any skin, he needed a blood transfusion! 
Four, Ranma. Or to be more precise, Ranma's girl half. How many times had Ranma played games with
his heart by transforming into a girl and donning a disguise? Too many to count.
*Let's see ... other problems because of girls? Akane.* That was obvious. He couldn't hurt Ranma
because that would hurt her. Major disadvantage on his part. No matter how much he wanted - no,
needed revenge against Ranma, a little part of his mind (armed with a large mallet and toxic food)
would hold him back. Even now he still found himself holding back for her.
Ranma's ex-fiancees. Shampoo wasn't so bad - she was actually quite nice. But there was the Mousse
problem. It was infinitely irritating to walk down the street, only to be met by the sound of
"Hibiki! Prepare to di..." Hang on a sec. Ryoga frowned to himself. That actually seemed a little
familiar to him... *Oh well.* He shrugged the thought away. *It's not important. Now, where was I?*
Hmm.... And Ucchan. No matter what he said or what he did, he still ended up being smashed over the
head or punted though the roof. *Like now...* he thought, narrowly missing a bird that had flitted
into his flight path. Ucchan seemed to alternate half the time between being glad to be rid of him
(by smacking him through the roof...) and not letting him step outside. He had no idea where he was
with her. Did she want him to stay there or not? If she did, why did she always hit him? And if she
didn't, why did she ...umm .... hit him? So what if they were engaged? If that was what being
engaged was about, he wanted out before he ended up like Ranma. 
Didn't Ranma often spend his mornings flying through the air too? Oh well. 
Yep, women of the world were plotting against him, trying to sap his morale and spirit. OBVIOUSLY
that was why he was now cursed to turn into a girl. Idly he wondered which goddess he'd ticked off
in a past life. So he could grovel and get his life back to a vague sort of normal.
A flash of green hair caught his eye, and he turned to see a girl flying next to him. After a second
look he quickly pinched his nose and turned away, blushing a little.
"Hi. My name's Lum." Lum smiled at him. "Have  you seen a brown haired boy chasing a girl in red
armour and chains?" she asked hopefully.
Ryoga shook his head. "Sorry, but no."
Lum sighed. "What are you doing up here, anyway?" Flying people were a rarity, and she wanted to be
prepared if more people were going to try and drag Darling away from her.
"My fiancee swatted me through the roof." The trajectory was changing. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd
land on someone's roof. Then it'd be simple to find a mirror and teleport home. He was still
suffering from a mixture of Vega and Tofu inflicted pain and he felt he deserved a day of rest and
relaxation. Well, he could dream, couldn't he?
"Why?" Lum was curious now. She'd seen Ranma a few times, but another guy with a violent fiancee?
Ryoga shrugged. "How the hell should I know? She got mad at me when I said she couldn't cook
anything other than okonomiyaki."
"You're mean!!!" Lum decided Japanese men were a total waste of space. "You're just as bad as
Darling!!" She grabbed him by the arm.
"Hey, wha...?"
*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*ZAK*
"OWOWOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Lum disappeared in search of Ataru and Benten, glaring at the charbroiled bandannaed boy. "Serves
you right, being mean to your fiancee!!!"
*Girls hate me.* Ryoga looked down. Water loomed up.
*SPLASH*
Ryoga-chan crawled out of the river and wrung out her bandanna. Her trousers had sunk immediately
and were lost in the depths of the water. Luckily, her shirt fell to her knees. She hoped she
wouldn't get splashed with any hot water until _after_ she'd managed to acquire some trousers That
Would Fit. *This is so unfair! How come Ranma never loses his clothes?!* Ryoga-chan sighed. The day
could not get much worse. *Girls _really_ hate me.*
"What a fashion disaster!!" 
"You'll never get a date dressed like that!"
Ryoga-chan looked up at the girls in front of her. "Uh... what...?"
The girls exchanged glances. "Don't worry. We're the Kolkhoz high fashion club," one of them said,
stepping forward. "We're going to _have_ to fix up your outfit, honey."
Ryoga-chan began to back away. "N-nu-no thanks, I'll just... is that the time?"
"GRAB HER, GIRLS!!!!"
"Saotome secret technique!!" Ryoga-chan yelled. She ran. The ludicrously huge mass of girls set
chase after her. *And I hate girls.*

"Ukyo! I love you!"
Ukyo fumed and released some of her pent up anger on the vending machine that was trying to hit on
her. She bashed it with her spatula several times, before kicking it through the front door.
"Tsubasa, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!!!!!" 
Outside, the vending machine sprouted arms, legs and a head and wobbled down the street. *Ouch.
She's getting a lot more violent.* A nasty thought struck Tsubasa. *M-maybe Ukyo _really_ doesn't
want to date with me!!!* After considering that for a few seconds, he tossed the idea aside and went
in search of his 'turn left' disguise.

Ryoga-chan hummed a little as she went in pursuit of a mirror. She'd been ambushed and overwhelmed
by the girls - it was incredible how many girls were devoted to fashion - and subjected to horrors
far worse than she could ever tell. 
She'd been given a makeover.
Mascara, lipstick, foundation, blusher, eyeshadow and worst of all, eyeliner. She'd had her
eyelashes curled, her fingernails painted and her eyebrows plucked. Somehow, they'd even managed to
cover up the slash marks on her face. She'd always thought girls had makeovers to relax and make
themselves pretty. Now she knew the truth - it was to toughen themselves up in case they were ever
made prisoners of war. How could it hurt so much to have somebody just comb her hair?
Ryoga-chan sighed, but continued to hum. After all, she'd made it out alive. With clothes that fit.
They'd even let her keep her bandanna. So maybe she could've done without the bra... and the
panties... and the stockings and suspenders... so maybe the little skirt was very short. And the
little denim sleeveless tie-top shirt was too ... girly. But it all fitted, a sensation she'd never
found in this form so far. Clothes that really fitted. 
But the moment she found a mirror she was getting changed. 
Maybe in future, it'd make sense to carry round a spare outfit, one of the one's R-C had left
behind. Ryoga-chan smiled a sad little smile as she thought about her 'brothers' and 'sister'. Then
she remembered Skuld mentioning a sister. *I'll have to ask her about it. A little sister... I
wonder what she's like?* Maybe it would be nice to have a little sister to care for....* Ryoga-chan
shook her head quickly. No. It was too soon. She still missed Aiko.
Glancing to one side, she noticed a furniture store. *Mirrored cabinets... home, here I come!!*

Elsewhere in Tokyo, things were just as hectic in that little corner of insanity known to the locals
as the Tendo Dojo.
"RANMA, YOU GET BACK HERE AND EAT THE BREAKFAST I MADE!!!!"
"Growf."
"A-Akane? I was just, ya know, going into town..."
"SWEETO!!!!"
"GETAWAYFROMMEYOUFREAKOFNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*KAPOW*
"Eat breakfast before you go!"
"I wanna get there alive!!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! MY BABY GIRL AND HER FIANCE ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!"
"Akane! Pigtailed girl! My two fair beloved's! I would date..."
*WHACK*POW*
"Oh my."

The bathroom was empty, much to Ryoga-chan's relief. She looked at her reflection. The make-up _had_
to go.
After vigorous scrubbing, her face was finally make-up free. Now for the clothes. The skirt and
shirt were no problem. However, being confronted with the task of having to remove female
undergarments for the first time, Ryoga-chan was at a loss. She glared at her reflection, trying to
figure out how the hell to undo the bra. "I _know_ there's a hook somewhere..." she growled, turning
around and looking over her shoulder. "How the hell am I supposed to reach it though?"
She jumped around as the door slid open. "Hi, I _thought_ you'd come back...." Ukyo began. She
stopped talking and rubbed her eyes, then looked again. Still not able to believe it, Ukyo's mind
went through a checklist.
Ryoga.
Check.
In girl form. 
Check.
Wearing stockings, suspenders, bra and panties.
Check.
And posing in front of the mirror.
Check.
Her face turned a very interesting colour and she advanced on her fiance. "YOU...."
Ryoga-chan began to back away quickly. "Ucchan, please, hear me out..."
"PERVERT!!!!" She swung with the spatula.
Ryoga-chan dodged somehow, and continued babbling. "It's not what it looks like, really!" *Stop
making excuses and run!*
"KEEP STILL AND LET ME KILL YOU!!!!" The spatula swung in deadly arcs, but failed to make a
connection. Ukyo cursed. His smaller and faster female side was just TOO good at dodging. *OK, time
to change tactics,* Ukyo decided. She lowered the spatula. "I'm sorry."
Ryoga-chan stopped and blinked. "Huh?"
*WHOCK*POW*CLANNNNNNNNNG*
Ukyo glared at the hole in the roof. *Urg! What a pervert!! I can't believe I was worried about
him!!!* And Ryoga-chan found herself hurtling through the sky again.

Ranma-chan dragged herself out of the pond and glared at her panda parent. "You. Are. Dead!!!" 
Akane watched from the porch as Ranma-chan and Genma exchanged blow after blow, Ranma-chan even
holding off Happosai at various intervals as the lecherous old man made constant grabs for her
chest. *The second this is over, he's eating the breakfast I cooked for him, whether I have to force
feed him or not!* The end came sooner than she expected when a small girl fell out of the sky, her
head connecting with Ranma-chan's. They both fell into the pond with a loud *SPLASH*.
Ryoga-chan (Yup! It was her!) groaned and rubbed her head. "Ouchie... what did I land on?" She
looked around, the pain in her head making the aches and pains in the rest of her body seem like
nothing. She frowned. Actually, apart from her headache, everywhere else stopped hurting. That was
..strange...
"Ryoga?"
She looked around, startled. "A-Akane!" *Just my luck!* she thought bitterly. *She's going to think
I'm the biggest pervert in the history of the universe!* "I-I..."
Another person sat up next to her, spitting out water. "Ow ow ow ow ouch! I hurt all over..."
"Ryoga, are you all right?" Akane knelt down by the pond.
"I'm fine..."
The next thing Akane did was to be scarred into her memory for all eternity. She whipped out her
large mallet and whacked Ryoga-chan over the head with it. Hard. Ryoga-chan found herself with her
nose embedded in the concrete. "Ow!" She looked at Akane, puzzled and hurt. "What did you do that
for?!!"
"Butt out Ranma. I wasn't talking to you!" 
A nasty feeling of dread flooded through her veins and she turned around to look at Ranma-chan. A
Ranma-chan wearing a bandanna, a look of horror and not much else. She looked down at herself. 
Red Chinese shirt
Black pants
And hanging over her shoulder was a red pigtail.
There was a few seconds of silence as the two gender-malfunctioned martial artists gazed at each
other, doing very convincing goldfish acts. (Y'know? Opening and shutting their mouths with a
gormless look on their faces?) Ryoga-chan was torn between pulling a Soun Tendo major A+ weepy or a
Kodachi/ Jinnai patent loonylaugh. Before she could decide, a small figure glomped onto Ranma-chan's
bra-clad chest. 
"SWEETO!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GETOFFMEEEEE!!!!!!!" She threw him through the air
and grabbed hold of Ryoga-chan by the hand. "We need to talk," she whispered through gritted teeth,
dragging her into the Dojo, to the bathroom.
Nabiki chuckled and patted her camera. "Well Ryoga my friend, these pictures will certainly help pay
off a little more of your debt to Daddy." Now all she had to do was try and find out exactly why
Ryoga was wearing nothing but lingerie. 

"Why am I wearing this?!!!" Ranma-chan snarled, looking at her reflection. Except it wasn't her face
looking out at her, it was Ryoga-chan's. She ripped off the scanty underwear and jumped into the hot
water.
Ryoga-chan sat down in the water next to him. "Kolkhoz high fashion club."
Ranma grimaced. "Say no more." Amazing what a strong grip a woman in pursuit of high fashion was
capable of. Then he frowned. "Scratch that. Why do I look like you? And why do you look like me?" He
winced a little as pain flooded through his body. "You couldn't wait until you were feeling better
before taking over my body? It hurts all over!"
Ryoga glared at him. It was very strange, to turn to someone and see them wearing your face.
However, the experience with R-C, R-D and R-A had made it a little easier for him than for Ranma.
"You act like I've done this on purpose!" He looked thoughtful. "Maybe it was where I landed on your
head." He smirked. "Maybe you should go and get Ukyo to whack you through the air back here."
"ME?!! Get real, I'm in enough pain as it is." Ranma winced again. "I feel like I've been put
through a mangle."
"Well that's because of your friendly little joke involving Doc Tofu and Kasumi yesterday," Ryoga
growled. "How does it feel to know how much pain that lovesick idiot inflicted on me because of
you?"
Ranma looked guilty. "I-I'm sorry... ouch..." He rubbed his back. Or Ryoga's back. Well, it was
Ryoga's back but now it was his. Man, this was confusing. He stood up and wrapped a towel around
himself. "I can't take this. Keep still, I'm going to knock our heads together. If that doesn't
work, maybe Doctor Tofu can help." He rolled his shoulders painfully. *I am never going to wish
Kasumi love pain on anyone ever again!*
Ryoga nodded and waited. A little nagging thought started poking for attention. *Uh... Ryoga, I
don't wanna disturb you or anything, but don't you love Akane?*
*Umm.... yes? Why?*
Ranma got ready to charge.
*Who's Akane engaged to?*
*Ranma.*
Ranma ran forward, head lowered to meet Ryoga's.
*Uh... who's body are you currently wearing?*
*Ra... oh. OH!* Ryoga moved to the side and Ranma found himself headbutting ceramic tiles. 
"OW!" He glared at Ryoga, who was sporting a big grin. "Whatcha do that for, you lughead?!!"
"I'm engaged to Akane." The grin grew wider. "_I'M_ engaged to AKANE!!!"
Ranma's eyes widened. "Uh... Ryoga?"
Ryoga jumped out of the bath and pulled on Ranma's clothes. "Have fun Ranma! Don't make Ucchan too
mad at you!"
Ranma watched him, incredulous as he stalked out of the room. Then he grinned. He'd soon find out
that Akane was no bed of roses. And this body, damaged as it was, would let him get free meals from
his two ex-fiancees. "Ucchan, Shampoo, edible food... here I come!!!"

End Part X
Final song - Just The Way You Are
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Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !