Subject: [FFML] [C&C] Review June 14
From: David Johnston
Date: 6/15/1999, 2:28 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Ritual Disclaimer:  Omission of a fic implies nothing 
concerning my opinion of it.  I do not limit my reviews
to Ranma fics. 

Subject: 
        [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma] Three Souls, One Heart Chapter 12 
  Date: 
        Mon, 31 May 1999 23:27:52 -0400 
  From: 
        "David A. Tatum" <desaix@sysnet.net>

Description:  Ranma and Akane are now secretly married,
as Cologne tries to organise a campaign to destroy the
returned oni.

Comments:  You know, "oni" are actually imported Chinese
demons.  They came over with Buddhism.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][Ranma] Girl Days part ten (draft) 
  Date: 
        Mon, 7 Jun 1999 01:11:53 EDT 
  From: 
        Kenjiko2@aol.com

Description:  In this chapter, Ranma and Akane kick 
back and relax as things go pretty smoothly.

Comments:  Unlike the previous chapters, this one wasn't
line-wrapped.  Genma's attempt to bolster Ranma's 
masculinity ala Iron John is a funny idea.  Akane already
knew how to take falls of less than ten feet, so Ranma's
training has little to do with her falling off the fence
and not being hurt.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [C&C] Quickie Reviews 
  Date: 
        Sat, 12 Jun 1999 17:47:15 GMT 
  From: 
        kleppe@execpc.com (Gary Kleppe)

Comments:  There's something vaguely familiar about this
format.  

Subject: 
         [FFML] [Fanfic] [Crossover] [Ranma] [Sailor Moon] [Star
         Wars] Easy is Not the Way of the Jedi 
    Date: 
         Sat, 12 Jun 1999 21:28:43 +0800 
    From: 
         "Gary Ee" <garyee@mbox4.singnet.com.sg>

Description:  Short fusion in which "Ranko" tries to teach
Usagi Tsukino how to be all she can be in the Jedi.

Comments:  Heavy on the slapstick.  Really the other 
four wouldn't be so bad.  One thing worth considering 
is that despite her incompetence Usagi has potentially 
enough power to do serious damage to a planet.

Subject: 
         [FFML][EVA][WHEN PATHS
         MERGE][CHAPTER1][DRAFT] 
    Date: 
         Sat, 12 Jun 1999 22:03:18 +1000 
    From: 
         "Kytro" <Kytro@email.com>

Description:  Asuka manages to pull a come-from-behind
victory but in the process gets a little too close to
her EVA.

Comments:  Feels a little lifeless.  For a start when
people are shouting, use an exclamation point.  Just one,
mind you.  Some more vivid description might help.  And
if Shinji doesn't know whether Asuka being angry is worse
than Asuka being in a coma, Shinji is scum.  
There are also some punctuation problems such as failing
to put a comma before the name of the person being addressed.
Also, the author occasionally slips into present tense.  

 Subject: 
        [FFML][R1/2][FF][Alt] Nabiki and Ranma � Part 3 
  Date: 
        Sat, 12 Jun 1999 06:53:14 EDT 
  From: 
        RanmaSolo@aol.com

Description:  Ranma and Nabiki after their ten year training
trip are very much in love as they go to Furinkan
for the first time.

Comments:  Ranma and Nabiki's relationship doesn't ring
true to me.  They didn't just get together after all.
They've known each other for ten years so why are they
acting like they are in the first blush of love?

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Fanfic] Pagliacci. 
  Date: 
        Fri, 11 Jun 1999 23:06:56 -0600 
  From: 
        Edward Becerra <eabecerr@henge.com>

Description:  Gosunkugi finds the spring of Drowned 
Harlequin Romance Stud.

Comments:  Strictly speaking Harlequin romances do not
feature smooth talking casanovas as a rule.  Quite the
contrary, they tend to be arrogant, mildly hostile to
women, but protective of them at the same time...
Say, sounds familiar doesn't it?  

In any case Gosunkugi doesn't really seem worse off.
While he may end up as the love slave to an entire village 
of Amazons, I can think of worse fates.  

Subject: 
            [FFML] [Inuyasha]SSoA: Kagome Introduction 
       Date: 
            Fri, 11 Jun 1999 21:44:57 -0600 
       From: 
            Donny Cheng <chengdo@home.com>

Description:  Kagome's undead doppleganger has discovered
the portal to her future thanks to one of the aliens, and
is now in Kagome's present, hunting down the possessed
humans so that she can feed on the power of the alien 
souls.

Comments:  I don't think I approve of the idea of the
aliens being able to produce a duplicate soul just by 
calling up another copy from the databanks.  If the 
alien souls can be duplicated so easily then surely they
wouldn't have any power that Kikyo could feed from.
It would make more sense if each alien had only one soul
that returned to the databanks if it's host was freed or
killed.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [FF][LoGH/Pokemon/Mac7/Wei�/etc
        ]_Listen_to_My_Song_(Ch_3c)_-_Infinite_Feedback 
  Date: 
        Fri, 11 Jun 1999 18:35:36 -0500 
  From: 
        "Califf, Jennifer" <jcaliff@nsai-petro.com>

Description:  Jigglypuff from Pokemon meets Sound Force
from Macross 7, and behind the scenes scheming is defeated
by people I've never heard of.  

Comments:  How do you pronounce that?  Weeb?  Nice 
expansion on the original spamfic.  However Weeb certainly
seemed to come from nowhere.  

Subject: 
        [FFML][RK]Let's Get Serious (pt.2) 
  Date: 
        Fri, 11 Jun 1999 14:02:05 PDT 
  From: 
        Erin Ellis <ee970@HOTMAIL.COM>

Description:  Kaoru has decided to try to seduce Kenshin,
but somebody appears to be beating her to it.  

Comments:  Very pleasantly readable.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Ranma] "A Little Earlier" part 8 
  Date: 
        Sun, 13 Jun 1999 12:39:37 -0400 
  From: 
        Stephen Ratliff <sratliff@runet.edu>

Description:  Ranma and Akane have met at the age of 12.

Comments:  Kind of dull really.  There's no conflict and
not much comedy.  It just isn't turning into something
interesting.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [fanfic][sailor moon][dark] Dangerous 
  Date: 
        Sun, 13 Jun 1999 20:49:47 CEST 
  From: 
        Rina Arumu <arumu_rina@HOTMAIL.COM>

Description:  "Leda" kills many people.  

Comments:  Poorly characterised and the mayhem is rather
perfunctory and uninvolving.  In short, the kind of fic
that gives "dark" fics a bad name.

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Draft] [Dirty Pair] Double Vision 
  Date: 
        Sun, 13 Jun 1999 22:09:58 EDT 
  From: 
        LN411@aol.com

Description:  Two novice agents are assigned to the Lovely 
Angels as trainees.

Comments:  Very good start.  The author can write dialogue,
and describe people.  I'm looking forward to seeing if he
can take them anywhere.

Subject: 
        [ffml] [pokemon] 'Evolution Pt. 1' 
  Date: 
        Mon, 14 Jun 1999 20:08:03 -0400 
  From: 
        fcasper <fcasper@yesic.com>

Description:  The Pokemon League has been put out of 
business and the city of Pallet has been massacred,
Ash is now an ecological vigilante, and Gary is a killer.

Comments:  Like most Pokemon fics, this one seems to be
looking for the dark and gritty side of the inherently
fluffy and cheerful sport of animal pit fighting.  Yes,
it's a Punkemon fic.  Not badly written, but more grit
than realism so far.  
 
Subject: 
        [FFML][SM\Ranma] The Catalysts: Episode 1 
  Date: 
        Mon, 14 Jun 1999 23:11:03 GMT 
  From: 
        Demon-God Entity <animex_ryo@HOTMAIL.COM>

Description:  Four interchangeable characters start 
popping through anime universes, dragging ever more 
accidental passengers with them.

Comments:  Kind of campy otaku-fic but too aimless
to be exciting, and too loosely written to be all that
funny.  Also, the spelling is sloppy, the author 
occasionally slips into the present tense, and the name
of the evil queen is "Beryl" like the gemstone after 
which she is named.  

Subject: 
        [FFML] [Ranma][Fanfic] Waterfalls - Chapter Two 
  Date: 
        Mon, 14 Jun 1999 23:29:19 -0400 
  From: 
        Alan Harnum <harnums@thekeep.org>

Description:  Supernaturally evil woman with a fly
motif is taking over minds for some reason.  

Comments:  Exceptionally good.  I take it the problem with
Taro is that he's strong willed enough that she can't
control him well?