This is the first part of an fic that I undertook at
the suggestion of Gary Kleppe, who saw a weird idea that I
came up with, and he insisted that I try to actually write 
it.

	It's a little weird, but I hope it will make you all
laugh. It'a a Ranma fic that doesn't actually star Ranma.

	I'd like to appologize in advance for stealing the
names and characters of some of the Amazons Greg Sharp 
(aka MetroAnime) created for his stories in "The Bet".
I needed something for the purpose, and they fit best.
If you'd rather, Greg, I'll take them back out and write
around it. Still, I hope you don't mind.

	Have fun, and enjoy..

	"Pagliacci - A story of the world of Ranma 1/2"

	Part 1

*********************************************************


	Gosunkugi Hikaru wasn't a martial artist. He wasn't much of a physical 
specimen at all, in fact. A loud shout was all that was really needed to 
knock him flat on his rear. And he was just as blind to the facts of life in 
Nerima as anyone else involved in the chaos that surrounded Saotome Ranma.

	But he did have one small gift. It wasn't much, and he didn't quite know 
how to make use of it properly. Still, it was his.

	He knew how to research. He studied things with an obsession that even 
Ranma and Kuno might have respected if they weren't entirely devoted to 
martial arts. And now that gift was about to change his life.

* * *

	His hands shook as he opened the package his mother had just brought to his 
room. Covered with stamps from America, it was quite colorful. He'd recently 
spoken with Tendou Nabiki, agreeing to use his skills in photography to 
catch Ranma and Akane in real life poses, giving her the film in lieu of 
cash to repay his debts to her. He'd also begun developing some of Nabiki's 
films for her, his labor going to pay off what he owed her. (It had to be 
admitted, Hikaru cost her nothing, and Nabiki saved the price of a regular 
photo developing shop.) The result was, for once, that he'd had enough money 
to purchase the contents of this package from a strange old man living in 
America.

	He frowned, as the cancellation mark on the stamps seemed to squirm and 
writhe, causing his eyes to tear. It wasn't easy to read. He checked the 
return address.

	Miskatonic University, USA.

	It was the right place, and he tore the brown paper wrapping, discarding it 
hastily. He lifted the books out, and gently set them on his bed.

	Gos wasn't stupid. He'd recognized the address, and knew of the loathsome 
legends that surrounded that university, and the near-by town of Arkham. 
Desperate as he was to win Akane's love (or at least her body), he wasn't 
quite foolish enough to risk the dangers involved with the people and the 
THINGS that were said to call that place home.

	What he HAD bought and paid for, at a VERY high price, was all that the 
justly famous (and justly INFAMOUS) library of the occult at Miskatonic 
University had on the subject of the cursed Valley of Jyusenkyo and its 
Pools of Sorrow.

	As he  stacked the books on his futon before sorting them, a small 
envelope, taped to a fan-folded piece of paper, fell at his feet. Stooping, 
he opened it.

		"Gosunkugi-san,

		Given the list of titles you requested, and from what
		I could read between the lines of your letter, I 
		suspect that you may find the map attached to this
		letter to be of great interest.

		This is a map of the Cursed Springs of Jyusenkyo.
		It lists all of the cursed springs, and their exact
		locations. Moreover, it is said to be a magical map.
		It's nature is that whomsoever possesses it can 
		find any of the Springs that they choose, and it will
		magically update itself every time some new 
		person or creature drowns in one of the pools.

		Normally, the nature of the curse on the valley tends
		to prevent a person from choosing a spring in order
		to use it in a selfish manner. The curses choose YOU,
		you see. But this map is said to be able to resist
		the power of the valley to that extent.  The owner
		will not be totally immune to the power of the curse,
		however. Remember that, and use it wisely.

			Dexter Ward Smythe."

	Shuddering, Hikaru started to set the map aside when his fingers slipped 
and both the letter and the map fell to the floor. The creases of the old 
map sprang open and Gosunkugi grumbled as he tried to fold it back up. Then 
a line of text caught his eye.

	"The spring of what?" He shook his head in disbelief, and set the map aside 
on the shelf with the rest of his books and scrolls on the occult.

	It stayed there, untouched, for several weeks.

* * *

	It was needless to say that Gosunkugi Hikaru was not a happy man. Such a 
statement would be the height of redundancy. One could, however, decide that 
Gos was slightly more unhappy than usual.

	His latest scheme to drive Ranma away and win the heart of the fair Akane 
had failed almost as badly as the Russian economy. The spell he'd tried to 
cast to attract every stray cat in Tokyo to Ranma, thereby throwing him into 
the Neko-ken permanently, hadn't worked as planned.

	To his astonishment, the spell HAD worked, attracting cats from every 
direction. Unfortunately, they hadn't been attracted to Ranma. Hikaru hadn't 
QUITE gotten it right, and the cats were attracted to the spellCASTER, not 
the spell victim.

	He was suddenly buried alive in a pile of lively and extremely affectionate 
cats, unable to move, while Ranma ran away screaming "C-c-c-caaaats!"

	After nearly half an hour, he finally managed to extract himself from the 
mewing, purring heap of furry feline adoration. He limped home, covered in 
cat dander, trying to avoid stepping on or stumbling over the few remaining 
cats that still stubbornly trailed him, loudly proclaiming their love.

	Finally arriving safely (if not alone) at home, he took the Scroll of 
Feline Attraction outside and carefully burned it. Then he stirred the 
ashes, making certain it was completely destroyed. The ashes were carried 
back into the house and flushed down the toilet.

	*I am NOT taking another chance with cats. Never again,* he thought, 
futilely brushing at the cat fur still clinging to his pants.

	Changing clothes, he sat on his futon and thought. In the past three weeks, 
he'd tried four schemes (counting the cat scroll spell that had gone awry)to 
separate Ranma and Akane, and/or attract Akane to win her love. This had 
resulted in: one beating from Tatewaki Kuno who had somehow managed to 
realize that Hikaru was trying to win Akane's hand; one thrashing from 
Ryouga who'd realized that Gosunkugi had tried to use a spell on Akane; one 
malleting from several of the girls at school when they caught him trying to 
obtain a thread of Akane's hair from the drain trap in the girl's shower; 
and, of course, the avalanche of cats that had inadvertently buried him up 
to his neck in overly-affectionate felines.

	"Perhaps I should just give up," he moaned, burying his face in his folded 
arms. "I'll never win. I have NOTHING to offer a girl, I'm nothing any girl 
could EVER want!"

	Many famous people have often noted that making a flat-out statement like 
that is the practical equivalent of express-mailing a challenge letter to 
the Gods. A _rude_ challenge letter. For the most part, these famous people 
are dead-on right.

	Particularly in this case.

	As Hikaru wretchedly rocked back and forth on his futon, a stray gust of 
air pushed gently on the old map that Gos had carelessly thrust between a 
pair of books. It slipped easily from between the slick leather covers of 
the two volumes flanking it, fluttered through the air not unlike a 
parchment butterfly and stuck Gos ever so softly atop his bowed head.

	He tried to bat it away blindly, but luck, fate, or magic seemed to be on 
the side of the map. It persisted in staying squarely atop his head. 
Finally, he opened his eyes, and using both hands, grabbed the map, ready to 
throw it across the room in his misery.

	That was when the map fell open to the spot it had unfolded to the day he'd 
first received it. To a listing of all the cursed pools of Jyusenkyo, and 
what had drowned in each one. The name he'd noted before caught his eye, and 
he sat rock-still on the futon. An idea, a crazed, bizzare idea, filled his 
young mind.

	"That's it!" he whispered excitedly. "That's the secret! Akane thinks of 
Ranma as a hero. Someone who always saves her, no matter what the danger is! 
That's IT! She can only love a _Hero_!"

	He shot to his feet, banging his head sharply on the bookshelf above his 
bed, knocking books across the room and all over the floor. He paid this no 
attention, though.

	"If it's a Hero that Akane requires, then it's a Hero I'll give her!" he 
shouted, unconsciously striking a pose with one arm (the one holding the map 
in its clenched fist) thrust into the air. "Yes! Yes! Bwahahahahahahaha! 
Akane needs a Hero. AND I WILL BECOME THAT HERO!"

	"Hi-chan? Is something wrong?" came the voice of his mother from the next 
room. "Did you break one of your dolls again?"

	Gosunkugi face-faulted violently.

* * *

	Gosunkugi Hikaru, in his rather single-minded pursuit of Tendou Akane, had 
amassed quite a collection of spell-books, cantrips, scrolls, and what was 
probably (with one notable exception) the single largest collection of 
voodoo paraphernalia in all Asia.

	(The one exception was a collection belonging to a elderly mystic in Tibet, 
and as this mystic was quite busy training a young American surgeon to be 
his future replacement as Sorcerer Supreme of the Earth, said collection 
wasn't available. It therefore didn't have any effect on Gosunkugi's plans.)

	Gos was about to have a going-out-of-business sale.

	Soon, signs sprouted around the apartment where he lived, hand-made posters 
appeared on every concrete pillar and wall, and he even arranged with a 
friend to advertise on the internet. (The internet auction house of 
Ebay.com, as Hikaru discovered, was Kami-sent. Ideal for his purposes.)

	It took more time than he realized, and he resented every second it took. 
Each extra moment was a moment that he -wasn't- completing his plan to show 
Akane what a TRUE hero was. But, as all things eventually are, the sale was 
finished, and he had the money he needed. It hadn't been easy. Nabiki had 
learned of the sale even before it took place, and had immediately begun 
digging for the reason behind it, assuming that it would be something she 
could blackmail Hikaru over. It had taken every effort he could make to 
mislead her without actually lying to her.

	School break finally rolled around, and Gos put his plan into action. He'd 
arranged to make his parents think he was going to a spa to try to build up 
his health, using the money he'd made from the sale of his collection. This 
wasn't even a lie, strictly speaking. If one used the word -very- loosely, 
he WAS about to take a trip to a spa. After all, spas were there to improve 
your health, and that's exactly what he intended to do.

	As he entered the train station with the small backpack holding the 
absolute minimum of supplies he knew he'd need, he froze. Nabiki was 
standing there in front of the gate.

	"Why, Hikaru! What a surprise meeting you here! Lovely day for traveling, 
isn't it." she smirked.

	"I-I-I" stuttered Gos. "I.. don't know what you're talking about."

	"Gos, Gos, Gos.. did you really think you could fool me? This is Nerima, 
after all. When someone from Nerima buys a ticket to China, the odds are 3 
to 1 that they're headed for Jyusenkyu. That means the Springs." She 
frowned. "Now, which spring are you trying to find and why?"

	Hikaru began to sweat. "I.. I'm just visiting China for my health. Honest. 
It's for my health!"

	Nabiki blinked. To her surprise, her finely honed senses were telling her 
that Gos was speaking the truth. Or at least HE believed he was telling her 
the truth.

	"All right, Gosunkugi. Be careful on your travels," she grinned. "It would 
be a terrible shame if your mother happened to find some of those 
photographs you've taken." She made a mental note to go back over everything 
she had on him. She didn't _think_ he had enough spine to defy her, but then 
stranger things had happened. Especially in Nerima.

	She smiled at him in that special way she had. The one that reminded her 
classmates of a hungry pirahnna. She felt a small surge of pleasure as he 
began to shake like an aspen tree in a high wind. 

	*I still have it,* she thought to herself. *Though Gos isn't that much of a 
challenge.*

	"And be sure to hurry back.  I'll have more film for you to develop when 
you do."  She smiled as she watched him scurry towards the train, and 
considered whether or not it would be profitable to sell the information 
that Gosunkugi was headed to China to certain cursed individuals.

	She walked away smiling, happy little yen signs floating through her mind.

* * *

	First it was a train to the port. Then the cheapest tourist boat to the 
Chinese mainland. As insane as it might seem, it was STILL possible to get 
permission to tour the Cursed Training Grounds of Jyusenkyo. (Perhaps this 
was the proof the Western world was seeking that the heads of the Chinese 
Communist party were crazier than a warehouse full of LSD addicts. It 
certainly didn't help their image any.)

	Ditching the official guide whose job it was to lead him there (and watch 
him, of course) was easier than he'd thought it would be. The watchdog in 
question had been assigned to such jobs before, and was more familiar with 
Jyusenkyo than he cared to be. He made no attempt to chase Hikaru down, 
aside from a rather lame "Stop. Don't. Come back. You're endangering 
yourself, honored customer. *yawn*"

	Then he returned to the head office and reported yet another idiot lost to 
the cursed springs. His boss made a tally mark on the sheet. "That's what, 
three this spring? Must be the season. All the kooks are coming out to nest."

	Hikaru's journey's through the backcountry of China weren't as difficult as 
he'd anticipated. Despite the Communist revolution, the common people of 
China still had a surprising degree of respect for wise men and priests. 
While Gosunkugi definitely didn't qualify as the first, his attempts to 
learn and practice voodoo did put him, tentatively, in the second category. 
Knowing nothing about voodoo, most of the farmers and village people simply 
assumed that a student priest was a student priest, according to him the 
same respect they'd give to any priest.

	The actual walk wasn't easy. Hikaru had never been a sturdy boy, and hiking 
through the rugged backcountry of the Tsinghai region was agonizing. As he 
approached the remote Pa-yen-k'a-la mountains it grew worse, much worse.

	The insults were painful, too. He'd taken a wrong path and brushed up 
against the edge of the territory claimed by the Joketsuzoku Amazons. The 
guards they'd placed at the borders had taken one look at the frail Japanese 
boy and nearly collapsed in hysterical laughter. Then one of the two Amazons 
pointed her spear at him and smiling, informed him in broken Japanese that 
the home for useless males was just six miles away, and she would carry him 
if he couldn't make it on his own.

	He bowed to them, shameful as it felt, and apologized in broken Chinese 
phrases he'd memorized from the small book he'd brought along. Hikaru had 
heard the things Ranma often said about his idiot of a father and how much 
trouble Genma had gotten into (and gotten RANMA into) by refusing to admit 
he didn't understand Chinese. Never let it be said that Gosunkugi couldn't 
learn from a bad example.

	He humbly asked the way to the valley of the cursed springs, which caused 
both guards to take a cautious step back and level their weapons at him. The 
first set a small gourd of water on the ground, stepped back, and gestured 
for him to pour it over himself.

	A flash of rare insight struck Hikaru at that moment, and he slowly reached 
for the gourd, holding it over his head and dousing himself with the cold 
contents. Which resulted in his instantaneous change from dry Gosunkugi to 
wet Gosunkugi. The guards immediately relaxed.

	"You not curse, boy. Not need cure. Why go curse springs?" asked the Amazon 
who'd provided the water.

	Hikaru fumbled with the Japanese-Chinese dictionary/phrasebook he'd brought 
along. <"I priest. Wish I springs to go to learn.">

	<"A priest?"> said the first guard. <"He's scrawny enough. What else could 
a weakling like him do?">

	<"He looks like he'd snap in two if you breathed on him too hard,"> replied 
the second. <"A priest is about all he's good for, I'd say. He's no threat. 
Let's just point him at the Valley and get rid of him.">

	Gosunkugi was watching the two with no idea of what they were saying. The 
conversation was must too fast for the (very) little Chinese he'd managed to 
learn. But he DID understand when the first guard pointed her sword-bladed 
spear off at an angle from the way he'd just come and said "Cursed springs 
that way. Not come here again, or we turn little boy into little girl, 
snip-snip!"

	Hikaru shuddered, and retreated rapidly, their mocking laughter ringing in 
his ears.

* * *

	The Amazons hadn't misled him. Walking in the direction he'd been pointed, 
he found a path that quickly led him to the lower end of the valley of 
Jyusenkyo.

	He strode down the path boldly (or at least what might pass for boldly, if 
you were really desperate. Gos was.) only to have the Guide rush out from 
his hut and bar the way.

	"No, Mr. Customer! You no go down that path! Very dangerous cursed springs 
there! You fall in, you get curse!" insisted the Guide.

	Hikaru pulled out the small dictionary/phrase book he'd come to depend 
upon. <"Curse springs I know. Priest am I. Study curses I want.">

	"You priest, Mr. Customer? Springs are DANGEROUS, young Mr. Customer. You 
go down there, you get curse!" The Guide was frustrated. Couldn't these 
idiots understand that if you got too near the springs, you got cursed? No 
exceptions? "There already Spring of Drowned Priest. Religion not protect
you!"

	Gosunkugi frowned inside. This man was well-meaning, but he was getting in 
the way of his becoming a hero Akane could admire and love! What could he.. 
ahh! He cursed his awkward Chinese and tried again.

	<"Understand. But need study curse. Not care price. Must do.">

	The Guide gave up. "Mr. Customer understand that I not at fault for any 
curses? You go in, you responsible."

	Hikaru nodded, and the Guide stepped aside, allowing him to pass. He slowly 
made his way down to the Springs while the Guide retreated to his hut to set 
another kettle of water on the stove. He rather expected it would be needed 
shortly.

	Gos pulled out the map and carefully unfolded it, staying well away from 
the springs until it was in his hands. To his bemusement, when he did 
approach the first spring, he could feel both a subtle tugging from the 
spring, and a matching rejection coming from the map.

	*Maybe this is what always goes wrong,* thought Gos. *The springs interfere 
with everyone who comes here, trying to actively curse them, or prevent them 
from finding a cure for their curse.*

	Hikaru smiled to himself as he noticed the slippery ground near each 
spring. He was prepared for that. Reaching into his pack, he pulled out a 
pair of small rubber slip-ons for his shoes. Studded with small hobnails, 
they were meant for walking on ice-slick streets. They would serve just as 
admirably for the slippery ground of Jyusenkyo.

	A small series of metal tubes were next to emerge from the pack, screwing 
together to form a spiked-tiped, pickax-headed cane of the sort ice climbers 
used, He thrust the spiked end into the ground and tested it. It held firm. 
Gos smiled.

	Last of all was a wide and unusually thick belt that he strapped around his 
waist. Colored a rather ugly international-emergency orange, it was actually 
a life preserver of sorts, one that would automatically inflate with a CO2 
cartridge if the wearer were to fall into the water. Hikaru had NO intention 
of creating the first Spring of the Drowned Japanese Wannabe Voodoo Priest.

	He could imagine whatever forces that governed Jyusenkyo roaring in 
frustration. Gosunkugi Hikaru was nobody's fool, he'd planned ahead! He'd 
studied every report about Jyusenkyo, and had taken steps to thwart each and 
every known danger. He laughed in triumph.

	Needless to say, Gosunkugi's attitude was right up there with spitting into 
the wind, tugging on Superman's cape, and trying to pull the mask off of the 
Lone Ranger's face.

	That is to say.. it was _really_ stupid.

	Not that Hikaru knew this, or would have let it stop him had he known. 
There's just something about Nerima that seems to create an almost 
invincible confidence born from total cluelessness. Go figure. So Gosunkugi 
continued on.

	He opened the map, and comparing it to the ground before him, he carefully 
made his way forward. He kept one eye on the map, and the other firmly on 
the ground, making certain he had steady footing. Sure enough, several times 
the ground appeared to try to slip from under his feet, but the strap-on 
cleats and the ice ax kept him from falling in to the springs that now 
surrounded him.

	His pace resembled that of an arthritic tortose, but despite being slow, it 
WAS getting him safely to where he wanted to go. About 45 minutes of very 
cautious movement saw him reach the cursed pool he'd chosen.

	"At last!" he breathed. "The Spring of the Drowned Hero. Now I'll be what I 
was truly MEANT to be, and Akane will have no choice BUT to love and admire 
me! My destiny awaits!"

	Setting the map on the ground and weighting it down with the ice ax, he 
plunged into the pool. He'd totally ignored the oddly dizzy sensation that 
had overtaken him the instant he'd let go of the map. That was Gos's final 
error, and the event that sealed the fates of a great many people.

	And Gos didn't even have the excuse of being raised by Genma Saotome. Pity, 
that.

* * *

	Hikaru had thrown himself into the pool with a passion. He'd leapt with 
such force that he'd managed to totally submerge himself before the lifebelt 
he was wearing had a chance to inflate.

	It _did_ inflate an instant later, yanking him to the surface just as the 
Guide came running up to him.

	"Oh, no, Mr. Customer! You fall into the <chinese name here>, the Spring of 
the Drowned Harlequin Romance Stud! Tragic story of famous pretty-boy hero 
of bad romantic novels who drown here 1500 hours ago!"

	Hikaru looked at him dully. What was this idiot talking about? He'd jumped 
into the Spring of the Drowned Hero. He'd followed the map, he'd followed 
the instructions, he'd done everything correctly. He'd even held on to the 
map so that the Powers that ruled Jyusenkyo would have no chance to twist 
and pervert his... D'OH! He'd set the map DOWN!

	He climbed out of the spring, almost fearing to look at himself. "A mirror. 
I need a mirror. NOW!" To his surprise, the last word came out as a roar 
worthy of Ryouga at his best.

	The Guide was surprised that the request wasn't for hot water (he had a 
kettle at the ready), but reached into a pocket of his uniform jacket and 
pulled out a small hand mirror, passing it over to the boy.

	Gos couldn't believe his eyes. He was _handsome_!. His hair was thick and 
blond in a cut that looked as if he patronized the same barber as Captain 
Harlock. His face was broad, his chin firm, his skin clear, and his eyes as 
penetrating as a raptor's.

	Tilting the mirror, he noted that his clothing had split and torn leaving 
him bare-chested and almost pants-less. If anything, his current state of 
dress reminded him of that gaijin TV show, the one with the scientist who 
kept turning to a large green monster.

	His chest rippled with muscles, his buttocks were tight, his arms sinewy, 
and his legs firm. All in all, Gos thought numbly, I look like a greek 
statue. One of the more athletic ones.

	This provoked a slightly fearful thought, and his hand darted down 
immediately to check out the situation.

	The Guide drew back, slightly disgusted. "You pervert boy, Mr. Customer?"

	"I--" Hikaru coughed and started over. "I ... was worried I might have, 
well, you know.." To his delight, his voice sounded just as heroically 
musical as any hero's should.

	The Guide shrugged. "That not MY business. Here, Mr. Customer. I get you 
hot water so you change back."

	"NO!" roared Gos. "I'm NEVER changing back to what I was. I'm a hero now! 
And I'll stay that way!"

	He snatched up the map and, leaping over the pools, headed for his pack. 
Grabbing it with one hand, he fled the Valley before the Guide could have a 
chance to splash him with hot water.

	"Mr. Customer very stupid. I _tell_ him that NOT Spring of Drowned Hero, 
but he listen? No." Then the Guide sighed, and headed back to his hut to 
have dinner. His daughter Plum should have finished that nice stir-fry she'd 
started before this idiot had arrived. A nice hot dinner and some beer might 
be just what he needed.

* * *

	Coming to a halt deep in the nearby forrest, Gos paused and pawed through 
his pack. He hadn't known what size he'd end up after leaping into the Pool 
of the Drowned Hero (yes, folks, he STILL believed he'd gotten the correct 
spring, despite what the Guide had said) and in trying to think ahead, he'd 
brought along three changes of clothing in three different sizes. And a set 
of extra-large rubber sandals that could be easily trimmed with a knife.

	Due to the need to save money for other, more essential items, he'd 
economized. Three pair of black pants with elastic waist bands and ankles, 
not unlike what Ranma habitually wore. And three white shirts with bloused 
sleeves. Both shirt and pants could, due to the style, fit a range of sizes. 
This allowed him to get away with buying only three sets.

	The fact that this particular style made his new cursed form look like some 
rougish pirate who'd just escaped from a DeMille sea epic never occured to 
Hikaru. Not that this was his fault. It would, however, occur to a great 
many other people. Mostly women.

	Dressing in the largest size he'd brought, Gos stuffed the map back into a 
pocket of the pack. He had the odd impression that it might serve him again 
someday, though he had no idea how.

	Brushing the dust and leaves from his legs with the ragged remains of his 
old clothing, he donned the pack and began to cheerfully stride through the 
forest, thinking of how utterly impressed Akane would be, and how she would 
instantly fall into his arms, begging to become his bride.

	The sky was blue, the sun was shining between the branches of the trees, 
birds were singing joyfully, small animals were scurrying happily through 
the underbrush, and all in all, every sign of impending disaster was there 
on the spot.

	Hikaru strode through the forest without a care in the world, happily 
dreaming of how he'd sweep an unresisting Akane off of her feet. That's why 
he never noticed the slight slope to the left that gradually caused him to 
drift onto a small, but well-beaten path through the woods. A path that led 
straight to the Joketsuzoku village.

* * *

	Sugar jabbed her partner in the ribs. "Do you see what *I* see?"

	Spice started to glare at Sugar, then caught sight of the stranger herself. 
"Ohmyohmyohmy...." She had a little trouble breathing. "Do you suppose he's 
available?"

	"Does it matter? I suddenly have the feeling I'm about to lose a fight, 
Spice."

	"Oh, no you don't, Sugar. *I* saw him first!"

	"No, I did!" Sugar growled. "I saw him first, and I get to challenge him 
first."

	Spice pulled out a bonbori. "Wanna bet?"

	Sugar frowned. "Rock-paper-knife?"

	Spice bit her lip. "Okay."

	By that time, Gosunkugi had come all the way up the trail towards them. He 
recognized them for the Amazons they were, but felt oddly unafraid. He 
assumed at first that this was some form of bravery that came automatically 
with falling into the Spring of the Drowned Hero. But when he saw the one 
Amazon pull a mace from the sleeve of her fighting outfit, a strange feeling 
swept over him.

	To his surprise, he walked straight up to the first Amazon and, plucking 
the mace from her hand, bent her over backwards and kissed her soundly. 
"Ahh, lass, one so lovely as you needs no weapon to defend herself against 
me. Your very beauty renders me totally helpless to your feminine charms."

	What shocked Gos most about what he'd just done was the fact that he'd said 
everything in perfect (and even elegant) Chinese.

	Spice didn't even realize she'd just been disarmed. All she could think 
about were the wonderful eyes that were looking down into hers. Deep and 
blue, they seemed to look into her very soul. If he'd asked her to, she 
would have foresworn being an Amazon forever and sold herself to a Shanghai 
whorehouse, just to have him look at her again like that.

	He eased her to the ground and set her gently on the grass. "And who is 
your pretty friend, m'lady?" smiled Gosunkugi. "She's as lovely as a spring 
morning, and as sweet as a taste of summer honey."

	Sugar blushed from head to toe and mentally cursed herself as she giggled 
like a schoolgirl. "Ahh.. I'm.. You're.. We're.. She's.." Sugar babbled.

	Hikaru smiled, and the girls shuddered in ecstacy. "That's quite all right. 
I'm a stranger in the area, and you're obviously guarding your village. You 
should take me prisoner and see that I'm brought before the village elders, 
as is proper."

	A tiny portion of Gos's mind wondered where the _hell_ that little speech 
had come from. But wherever it had emerged from, it seemed to work. Spice 
stood on wobbly legs and with Sugar's help, they twisted a bit of rope 
around his wrists and proceeded to march him down the trail to the village.

* * *