Gary Kleppe wrote:

"DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net> wrote:

A sign appeared in the panda's hand. *It is not my fault that you were
clumsy and allowed yourself to fall into that cursed spring.*

"What do you mean it's not your fault! You're the one that knocked me

into

it!" the boy shouted back.

*A superhero martial artist must be prepared for anything at all times.*

Genma's a lot more articulate with his signs in this continuity, I
see.... :)

Hmm. You're right. I'll have to look those over and make it flow more
naturally.

there were hesitations like the one his father had just demonstrated.
Something really bad was going on. "Why?"

Geez, maybe his marker is just drying up. :)

Heh.

Akane looked to see that Kyoko was holding open the door to allow a
delivery man to wheel past her with several crates on a dolly. Akane
rolled her eyes as the man thanked the older woman, then turned his
attention to the secretary/nurse.

The secretary/nurse being Akane?

That does sound awkward. I'll try to reword it.

Akane gave another sigh and held out her hand to accept the form for the
latest delivery. They had received so many shipments of crates of
equipment over the last two weeks that she was now on a first name basis
with two of the delivery men.

But not this one? :)

I knew I forgot something. It is now 'Yoshi' (last name: Lumpkin. Oops.
this is Avengers, not the Fantastic Four ^_^). It's easier than just
saying 'the delivery man' each time I mentioned him too.

Yinsen's masterpiece. The only problem she saw with it was that, in

spite

of the slight trimming down in size, it was still incredibly huge and
bulky. It was so large she doubted anyone would even realize it was
actually a woman inside the armor, not that she wanted the world to know
it was Kodachi Kunou behind the mask of the Iron Rose. Still, she found
herself increasingly disliking the size. She had managed to trim down

her

life-saving chestplate so that it would not be noticeable behind loose
fitting blouses.

No leotard? :(

Captain Japan looked the leotard-wearing woman, that was the Iron Rose's
employer, over. "Gee. You look a little heafty to be wearin' something
like that."

The fists of Hawkeye and Kodachi hit the Captain squarely in the face.
Thor added the full power of one finger to the reprimand, intending to
remind Ranma it wasn't nice to make light of a girl's figure.

As she turned away from the testing chamber's control panel, she felt a
headache coming on. She was ill-tempered (though capable) for the
maneuverings of the business world, preferring the battlefield of the

lab

Should that be OR the lab?

No. She has no battlefield experience (until now). Is the sentence awkward
like that?

*That was called the 'Clothing Meets the Maker' maneuver that I learned

>from a horrible person whom I hope you never have to meet. It destroys

the

clothing while leaving the undergarments intact. Truly it is a terrible
technique. Although claws sure make it easier to use. And I have used it
on occasion with your mother. Hehe-"

Heh. This bit was funny.

Thanks. I'll try to keep as much humor as I can in it, but there will be
times when it's serious.

*His name is Captain Japan. He is Japan's greatest superhero. He is a

man

among men. A hero among heroes. A...* He brought a paper out from his

fur

and read it. *...symbol of our country's greatness and what it means to

be

Japanese.* Genma-panda sighed in relief. That was all of the points his
wife had made him promise to make Ranma into.

I'm surprised he doesn't have pre-printed fliers to hand out. :)

Maybe next time. ^_^

Genma-panda suddenly appeared nervous. *Umm. I'm his cute animal
sidekick.*

The comments began again.

"You're not very cute."

"I thought only magical girls had cute animal sidekicks."

Heh.

Sailor Moon and the other Sailor Senshi confronted the Youma before them.
Sailor Moon pointed dramatically to the brown scaled creature. "In the
name of the Moon, you will be--"

"AH! Ugly monster is attacking girls! Hulk smash!"

A huge green form leaped over the girls and proceeded to kick the Youma
around like a kooshball. Eventully he grew bored and left the unconscious
creature behind.

Sailor Moon and the others just stared at the defeated monster before
them.

Ami spoke first. "This is getting ridiculous. First it was the guy with
the shield. The it was the girl with the hammer. Now this."

"We haven't fought a Youma in months," Minako complained. "Every time one
shows up, some superhero comes along and takes it out before we do."

Usagi began wailing. "What are we going to do?!  We're going to be out of
our jobs and we aren't qualified to do anything other than beat up Youmas!
WAAAHHH!"

"Nothing worse than being an out of work magical girl." Rei agreed as she
dodged Usagi's tears.  "I think I'll retire and be a full time preistess."

Makoto looked off in the direction of Nerima. "I'm going to see if there
are any openings in the Avengers. Captain Japan  reminds me of an old
boyfriend of mine. So does Hawkeye, too. I wonder if they're seeing
anyone."

"Whatever." Dozens of ribbon-like projections shot out from the

gauntlet's

of the Iron Rose's armor, wrapping themselves tightly around the Hulk's
head and chest. He was about to rip them to shreds when five hundred
thousand volts shot through the ribbons, flowing directly into his body.

Geez... that's one heck of a lot of volts! But volts don't flow; volts
cause current, and current flows. Kodachi, being a techie in this
continuity, would know this.

Too bad the author didn't. ^_^. Will change.

Ranma-chan looked down and suddenly realized why it was so drafty out.

The

second realization, that her bare chest was now being broadcast to the
entire nation of Japan, caused her to give out an 'Eek!' and cover

herself

up. She turned away from the camera, covering her chest as best she

could

while tearing off the remainder of her costume's top. She hurriedly
managed to create a makeshift  top that just barely covered her
essentials.

Something tells me that top's gonna get destroyed a LOT.... ^_^

Me employ a running gag like that? Surely you jest.

Of course you know Hiroshi and Daisuke will be setting up a fan club for
the 'Most Gorgeous Sidekick in the Superhero Business somewhere down the
line' ^_^

"The detonation will completely obliterate ten city blocks," Roquat
pointed out.

"Good point. Have our construction businesses standing by to take the
rebuilding contracts. We should make a fortune in the aftermath."

Heh. You gotta admire a villainess who knows when to seize an
opportunity. :)

It's where the real money is made.

Overall, an enjoyable chapter. Glad to see we're starting to get more
into the plot and character interactions and away from the heavy
background of part 1.

That was just the set up for the rest of the story. In many ways it was
more of a prologue than anything else. The rest of it should flow pretty
well.

The characters seem to all be well-handled so far.

Thanks.

I'd like to see more
detail on what it's like for Akane and Kodachi, what it feels like to be
the thunder god and to be inside the armor.

Slowly and surely that will come. There hasn't been that much opportuinity
to explore their civilian sides yet. Ranma was also the primary focus in
this part as well. The others will get a chance to shine as the spotlight
shifts their way, like the hostile takeover sub-plot that was mentioned in
this chapter.

Ranma as the reluctant hero
makes infinitely more sense IMO than him as a straight-and-narrow Cap
like someone tried a while back.

Also more fun that way too. The 'never say die' attitude that Ranma has
parallels Cap's pretty well, though.

Thanks for the C+C.

D.B. Sommer