Chapter two of Mixed Signals has arrived.  Characters will be referred
to by their own names, not that of the body they're inhabiting.  The
exception to this is spoken dialogue.  In that case usage will vary as
appropriate.  As usual, my thanks to David Johnston and Kaneda Saotome
for prereading.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan, Inc do.  Rights in North  America
belong to Viz Communications
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Walking a Mile...

     Kasumi looked around the kitchen and noticed some unexpected
absences.  "Akane, why don't you go get Ryoga and Ranma?  If they don't
come soon they'll miss breakfast."

     Before Akane could answer, Ukyo rose to her feet.  "I'll find
them."

     "We'll check where they were sleeping first."

     "Makes sense.  Ryoga was in Ranma's room and Ranma was sleeping
with his dad, right?"

     "Right."

     The two girls decided to check on Ryoga first.  After Ukyo knocked
on the door without receiving an answer, she eased it open.  "I know
that Ryoga's shy, but this is a bit much."   Ryoga had apparently been
trying to change into a set of clean clothes, but she hadn't gotten far
before passing out.  The remains of a nosebleed were drying upon her
face.

     "Maybe you should handle this, Ukyo.  I'll find Ranma."

     "I suppose so.  Ryoga is in my body, after all."

     As Akane searched for Ranma, her frustration quickly mounted.
She'd started looking in the room he'd shared with his father the night
before and continued from there.  The only room left now was her own.
Akane angrily yanked open the door and peered around inside.  Seeing
nothing, she was just about to close the door when she heard a thud
from inside the closet.  Realizing what had happened, Akane suppressed a
sigh and walked over to open the closet door.

     "Akane, what are you doing here?"  The combination of irritation
and bewilderment that Ranma was displaying looked perfectly at home on
Ryoga's face.

     "You're in my closet, Ranma."

     "No way.  If I was in your closet there'd be dresses and ... oh."
Ranma's voice trailed off as he caught sight of his surroundings.  "I
guess I am in your closet.  I wonder why."

     "You got lost."  Akane reached into the closet and grabbed hold of
Ranma's ear.  "Now come on out of there."

     "I did not get lost.  Hey!  Let go of my ear."  Ranma's protests
went unheeded as Akane pulled him out of the room.

     "Not until we get to the kitchen.  If I let go now you'll just get
lost again."

===================

     A short time later, the four departed for school.  Ukyo had agreed
to attend school as a boy after only token protests.

     "All right, everyone.  Remember that we aren't telling anyone what
happened.  That means you've got to remember how to act and to use the
right names."

     "Sure thing, Ryochan."

     Ranma shot a panicked look at Ukyo.  "No!  Just treat me the way
that I treat Ryoga."

     "If I was going to do that, I'd need some cold water first."

     Ranma ignored the sudden fit of coughing that overcame Akane.
"Very funny.  I meant treat me the way I treat Ryoga when I'm not
pretending to be a girl."

     "Ranma's right, you've got to remember to call him P-chan," Ryoga
advised.

     "Maybe you two don't take this seriously, but I do.  I don't want
people to start thinking I'm weird."

     "What do you mean, start?"  Akane ignore the glare Ranma directed
at her.  "Don't worry, Ranma.  Ukyo knows how to behave."

===================

     At lunch time, Ryoga sat brooding under a tree.  Neither of the
others understood his situation.  Ranma was still a guy, and Ukyo's
situation hadn't really changed either.  She was still a girl who
dressed like a guy at school.  If pressed, Ryoga would admit there were
compensations.  Having a sense of direction and not turning into a pig
came to mind.  She'd never really been one to look at the bright side
though.  At least there wasn't much else that could go wrong.

     "Foul miscreant, you will pay for your misdeeds.  I shall liberate
the fair Ukyo from your clutches."  The resolute figure of Tatewaki Kuno
gazed down upon the form before him.  This time no one would interfere
in his vengeance.

     Ryoga rolled to her feet and took up a ready stance.  Beating up on
Kuno was always a good way to relieve stress.  Something was strange ,
usually Kuno said something about Ranma or Akane.  There was something
else though.  "Hey!  I am Ukyo."

     "I speak of the other Ukyo.  A most graceful and noble maiden, whom
you hold in bondage."

     Oh.  It was just Kuno being delusional again.  "Any time you're
ready, Kuno."

     Kuno wasted little time, rushing forward and aiming a mighty slash
at Ryoga's head.  Ryoga ducked, landing a punch on Kuno's midsection,
even as the tree behind her was bisected.  Ryoga's eyes widened in
surprise as Kuno ignored the blow, and scored a glancing hit that numbed
her left arm.

     Ryoga tried to close with Kuno again, but hampered by an unfamiliar
body was too slow.  She already regretted leaving Ukyo's combat spatula
beside the tree.  A weapon would have been very useful.  As Ryoga dodged
one particularly close slash, she noticed a weakening in Kuno's
defense.  Swiftly taking advantage, she kicked the bokken out of Kuno's
hands and followed up with a series of strikes to his vital spots.

     When Kuno fell to the ground, Ryoga's lips twitched upwards in a
smile.  That smile faded when she felt the cool breeze on her chest.
Closer inspection revealed that Kuno had sliced through both the front
of her uniform and the binding beneath it. Blushing a bright red, Ryoga
went of in search of materials to make repairs.

=================

     Ranma covertly glanced at Ukyo as he ate.  There was just something
wrong about someone else, especially a girl inhabiting his body.  The
truly annoying part was that Ranma had been watching all morning and he
wasn't sure if he could tell the difference. Not that he wanted anyone
to notice something of course.

     "Shampoo bring too-too delicious ramen for Ranma."

     Ranma was abruptly jerked from his reverie to watch the bouncy
amazon approach him... and move past him towards Ukyo.

     "T-This really isn't necessary, Shampoo.  Kasumi made me an
excellent lunch," Ukyo stammered.

     "Shampoo enjoy cooking for airen.  Is no trouble."  As Shampoo
spoke she ran her hand along Ukyo's arm.  Ukyo twitched slightly and
almost jerked away.

     "What are you doing, Shampoo?" Ranma asked, rising to his feet.

     "Shampoo bring food for one of her airens.  Think maybe you keep
thing quiet."

     Akane had been both angered and confused by Shampoo's appearance,
her traditional target uninvolved, but now she was on firmer ground.
"What's the matter, Ryoga, jealous?"

     "No I'm not!  Who would I be jealous of, Akane."

     "Then why don't you sit down and eat?  Those two can take care of
themselves."

     Ranma did so with poorly masked displeasure.  He tried to avoid
looking, but his eyes were drawn towards the sight of Shampoo trying to
feed Ukyo what should have been his ramen.  As with Ranma's earlier
behavior, this did not go unnoticed.

===================

     "I'm going to go over to the Nekohanten and see if Shampoo's come
up with anything."

     "Are you sure that's wise?  We don't want you getting lost."
Nodoka was understandably concerned.  After not seeing her son for close
to ten years, the idea him wandering aimlessly across Japan was a
familiar worry.

     "Don't worry, Mom.  As long as I concentrate I won't get lost."

     After reassuring his mother several more time Ranma set off.  What
he'd said was true.  After considerable practice he'd discovered that as
long as he visualized each step of his trip clearly he could do it.
True, this  was slightly more ambitious than finding the kitchen, but
the principle was the same.

     Unfortunately, Ranma was so busy concentrating that he didn't
notice the sprinklers se up on the lawn ahead of him.  Naturally, they
activated as passed by, transforming him into a small black pig.  Even
more unfortunately, this broke his concentration.

     "Bwee."  Ranma was beginning to think that this would be a very bad
day.  A terrifying battle cry soon confirmed that view.

     "Charlotte!  Come to little Azusa."

     Ranma didn't waste any time.  When he caught sight of the roller
blader bearing down on him, he took off at a speed that would shame an
olympic sprinter.

====================

     Akane jumped over a leg sweep and countered with a flying kick that
her opponent barely blocked.  When Ryoga had first proposed a full
contact training session she'd been nervous.  She'd done surprisingly
well though.  In Ukyo's body Ryoga didn't have the overwhelming
advantage in strength that he usually enjoyed.  The unfamiliar balance
also offset much of Ryoga's skill.  She was learning fast though.

     Ryoga retreated as Akane intensified her attack.  She blocked a
series of punches to the midsection and then dodged a side kick.  Before
Akane could recover, Ryoga grabbed hold of her leg and twisted, sending
Akane to the floor.

     "I think that's enough, Ryoga.  We've been training for almost an
hour now."  Akane was breathing heavily, as was Ryoga herself.

     "I think I'll keep going for a while.  It keeps my mind of things
at least."  As Akane left the dojo, Ryoga considered her options.
Strength training would probably be the best place to start.  Maybe she
could work her way up to the breaking point training.

===================

     "Where is Ranma?  It isn't like him to miss supper."

     "I don't know, Kasumi.  He left by himself this afternoon and I'm
afraid he's gotten lost.  My son can look after himself though."  It
sounded as if Nodoka was trying to reassure herself at least as much as
Kasumi.

     "He'd better be able to.  If anything happens to him, I can't get
my body back."  Ryoga's complaint didn't seem to have any force behind
it.  After all, being lost was a natural condition for the Hibikis and
Ranma was a superb martial artist.

     "Speaking of bodies, what have you been doing to mine?"  Ukyo
gestured to indicate Ryoga's bruised and battered appearance.

     "Just a little training."

     "A little training?  You look like you've been run over by a
truck."

     "You know, that might make a good training technique.  Thanks for
the idea, Ukyo."

     After deciding that Ryoga was serious, Ukyo glared angrily at her.
"If you think I'm going to let you..."  The rest of Ukyo's statement was
interrupted by a slight scratching noise at the front door.  When Kasumi
opened the door, a small piglet entered the room.

     "P-chan!" Akane cried excitedly.  "Come here, baby."

     The little pig nervously approached Akane and allowed her to scoop
it up.  "You know, I don't think you've ever met P-chan before, Ryoga."

     "Heh-heh-heh.  You're right, that is a bit strange."  Ryoga
extended one hand towards Ranma's cursed form and was rewarded with a
snap that barely missed her fingers.

     "Oh, I'm sorry, Ryoga.  P-chan usually only behaves that way with
Ranma."

     "It's not important, Akane.  You don't have to apologize"  Ryoga
was actually enjoying things for the first time since the body switch.
The feud with Ranma might have been over, but, he deserved to know what
Ryoga had gone through.

==================

     "I can't believe that Ranma would do something like this."  Ryoga
calmed herself with a visible effort.  After waiting to see if anyone
had heard, she continued her rant in a softer voice.  "I'm not going to
let him get away with this."

     Ryoga frowned, Akane had been unusually watchful with P-chan that
evening, but Ranma still could have gotten away.  Well, no matter what
the pervert had planned, Ryoga wasn't going to let him sleep in the same
bed as Akane.  Just as soon as Akane was asleep, Ranma would get a
lesson he wouldn't forget.

===================

     Ranma was in hell.  Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but since
he was also Ryoga it seemed strangely appropriate to think that. 
Somehow, he'd always had the idea that Ryoga enjoyed sleeping in Akane's
bed as P-chan.  He knew better now.  The tossing and turning as Akane
had drifted off to sleep had been bad enough, pummeling his small body
with bruising force.  What followed was far worse.  Akane had quieted,
but only after catching Ranma in a grip that seemed powerful enough to
crush rocks.

     Ranma's porcine ears twitched as the door to Akane' room silently
opened.  As a ghostly figure stepped over the sleeping form of Ukyo,
Ranma realized that Ryoga must be trying to rescue him.   As Ryoga
stopped beside the bed, Ranma could barely make out her features.  Ryoga
produced a feather and began to lightly tickle Akane under her nose.
The tension paralyzed Ranma, but Akane reached up to scratch her nose
without waking.  As soon as she did so, Ryoga grabbed the bandanna
around Ranma's neck and lifted him clear.

     Grinning in triumph, Ryoga turned ... and tripped over Ukyo.  Arms
wind milling, Ryoga overcompensated and fell backwards onto Akane's bed.

     Akane woke suddenly, as a heavy body pressed her into the
mattress.  Needless to say, she reacted with well honed instincts.
"Pervert!  Die!"  As the dimly seen figure scramble off of her, Akane
grabbed a nearby dumbbell and began to bludgeon it.

     She stopped abruptly, as Ukyo switched on the lights and revealed
the intruder.  "Ryoga, what are you doing here?"

     Ryoga hesitated, waiting for the room to stop spinning.  "I, um,
wanted to talk to you about something."

     "Really?  What was it?"

     Ryoga searched her mind desperately and failed to come up with a
plausible answer.  "I don't think that this is really a good time."

     "I suppose not.  I'm sorry for attacking you.  I'm just used to
Ranma and Happosai."

     "You don't have to apologize.  It was my fault."  Ryoga backed
nervously out of the room, Ranma following unnoticed.

     After Ryoga left, Ukyo stared at Akane in disbelief.  "You're just
going to let him go, like that?"

     "Why not?  What did you think I would do?"

====================

     After Ryoga left Akane's room, she felt something bump against her
leg.  Looking down, Ryoga saw the familiar form of P-chan.  Picking
Ranma up by the bandanna once more,  and walked back into her room.

     "All right, Ranma.  It's time for us to talk."  Ryoga picked up a
kettle of water she'd heated earlier.  Pouring it, she watched Ranma's
body twist and expand.

     "Thanks.  I don't think I could have taken that much longer," Ranma
said gratefully.

     "Taken what?"

     "Akane.  Man, I thought she was a tomboy when she was awake, but
she's even more unfeminine asleep."

     Ryoga reddened with anger.  "How dare you say that!  Akane is a
delicate flower when she's asleep."

     "And she's a good cook too, huh?"

     "Yes."

     Ranma was smiling now.  "So then, you wouldn't mind if she cooked
you breakfast."

    "No!"  Ryoga calmed herself and continued, "I mean, of course I
wouldn't mind.  I just don't think she should have to trouble herself."
Ryoga felt her anger diminishing.  Maybe it hadn't been completely
Ranma's fault.

     "There is one thing, Ryoga.  Could you get me some clothes?  I know
it's nothing that you haven't seen before, but it still feels weird."

    "How do you think it makes me feel?"  Ryoga went over to the closet
and selecting a set of Ranma's Chinese clothing tossed them to him.

     "The same way I feel when I see Ukyo now."

====================

     "What was all the shouting I heard last night about, Akane?"
Nabiki wasn't really interested in the answer.  She was sure that it had
something to do with Ranma's reappearance.

     "Nothing much.  Ryoga just wanted to talk to me and he tripped over
Ukyo.  I'm afraid that I overreacted."

     "Overreacted?  You never feel that way when it's Ranma."

     "That's different.  Ryoga isn't a pervert like Ranma."

     "What are you talking about?  Ryoga is just as much a pervert as I
am."  After Ranma spoke he considered his words.  That wasn't exactly
what he'd meant to say.

     "So you admit you're a pervert.  And stop trying to get Ryoga into
trouble."  Akane glared at Ranma suspiciously.  There was something
strange about the way that he'd reappeared so suddenly.

     Nodoka decided it was time to intervene.  "Under normal
circumstances I'd agree with Akane that there was nothing wrong with
Ryoga's behavior.  It really is very manly. I'll have to explain to her
that it isn't appropriate as long as she's a girl though.  Do you know
where she is."

     Stunned silence descended on the breakfast table, until Ranma
answered.  "Ryoga finished eating early. I think he's in the dojo
training, Mom."

     After Nodoka left, Nabiki finally spoke, "That was strange."

    "Yes, Auntie Saotome has some very strange ideas about proper
behavior."  After speaking, Kasumi continued eating unconcerned by
events.

     Ranma was so engrossed in considering his mother's behavior that he
missed a new arrival.

     "Shampoo say hello Ranma.  You not listening?"

     "Sorry Shampoo.  I didn't hear you come in."  After his perfunctory
apology, Ranma continued on to more important matters.  "Have you
figured out how to use that statue?" he asked eagerly.

     "No.  Shampoo come to spend time with airens."  Producing a kettle
seemingly from nowhere, Shampoo poured hot water over a surprised Ukyo.
Ignoring protests from the suddenly male Ukyo, Shampoo snuggled up next
to him.  "Ranma, come sit by Shampoo?"

     "I don't think so."  Ranma wondered distractedly if he'd ever
looked as panicked as Ukyo around Shampoo.  He suspected that the only
times he had were when Shampoo was a cat.  Something else occurred to
him.  It didn't look like Shampoo was trying very hard to find a
solution.  In fact, she seemed to like the situation, even if no one
else did.  Ranma and the others would have to at least try to fix things
themselves.

End Chapter 2.