Well, it's been a couple of months, and I've been in a mad rush to
complete this before I go.

I haven't had a chance to check with most of my prereaders for a last run,
but they've gone through the inital copies of it.

Thanks go out to:

Jason Hanks
Alex Archon
Mike Allen
Evan Lindsey
Jason Liao
Elsa Bibat

And anyone I may have missed.

Most of them just don't quite know what to make of this. ^_^

So, here we go: The "Season Finale" of this.

A bit of a warning, though, first. Note the "Dark" tag.

If anyone has a problem with that sort of thing, you might want to sit
this one out.

I'm afraid you won't be finding any comedy in this one.

No, sir, none at all. ^_^



&&&[Begin Chapter 10.]

	An ornate grey staff, tipped with a red sphere, lay against a
pillar amidst the immense, gothic architecture. Gargoyles and
transparent crystal skulls dotted the high archways, their ruby eyes
gleaming in the torchlight. Wall to wall shelves spiraling through
dozens of alcoves were filled with ancient tomes, waiting for the
unknown day in which their forbidden knowledge would be called upon.

	A treatise on Moon Kingdom contracts lay in tatters near a
shredded "Bride" magazine in a forgotten corner of one of the
many twisting archival alcoves.

	The dark, cavernous library was silent, save for the insane,
indecipherable mutterings of the room's sole occupant.

	"Soon, my precious...  Soon, my precious, you shall no longer
be mine! You shall curse another, but never again me.  Ah-hahaha..."

	A figure in a hooded, loose-fitting black robe pored over a
selection of large books, strewn haphazardy across the wide, eerily
decorated stone table in front of it. The names for these included
the Necronomicon, the Kitab Al-Azif, the R'leyh Text, the Book of
Eibon, Darkhold, the Pnakotic Manuscripts, the Eltdown Shards, the
Book of Dyzan, the Greater and Lesser Keys of Solomon, Nameless
Cults, the Elder Scripts, and many more whose titles were unreadable.

	The robed figure trembled as it slowly turned the pages of one
particularly strange, runed volume.

	The shadow stopped, examining one specific paragraph in depth.
The mysterious being took a hesitant breath and pushed back its hood,
revealing a head of long, dark-green hair and the soft facial
features of a woman. Her left eye twitched, her face contorting into
a mask of focused anger and calculated malice. 

	Meiou Setsuna was not a well Time Guardian at the moment.

	"This... could be," she hissed, then realized with
disappointment that it was yet another torture that would be
insufficient for the task to be done. Scowling with rage, she
backhanded the manuscript off of the table, scattering its ill-bound
pages across the cobblestone floor. She growled like a beast that had
lost its prey. "Bah! Limited horrors, created by limited minds!"

	Setsuna raised her arm to clear the rest of the table in front
of her, then stopped as she noticed a glint of blue light shining
underneath the folds of crumbling paper she had just knocked away.

	Before she could do anything, the entire pile burst into an
intense, violet fire, blackening the cobblestones and burning away
in a flash. Not even ash remained from the destroyed tome.

	The robed Time Guardian sighed and began to turn away, but
halted when she heard an ambient humming. On the floor where the
ancient tome had lain, small electrical sparks appeared inches
above the stone and increased in magnitude along with the humming,
circling the former width of the book.

	Within a few moments, the sparks had become an intense, yellow
lightning, which danced into glowing, demon-shaped silhouettes,
before finally coalescing into a small, rectangular shape.

	A gold-clad book phased into existence. With a final spark,
the lights faded and the book clattered to the floor.

	Amidst the following silence, Setsuna narrowed her eyes at
the small, glistening object. "Clever..."

	She took a few hesitant steps and knelt beside it. She reached
out to touch it, but drew back as soon as she had. The book was
_cold_. Completely and utterly frigid. It drew the heat away from
her as if it were hungry, starving for her life energy.

	Setsuna gritted her teeth. Somehow, she knew that this was
what she was looking for. She snatched the book in both hands,
fighting off the weakness it threatened to cause her, then picked it
up and brought it to the table.

	Upon closer examination, the small book had no title or author
on its entire cover, just ornamental gold decorations... and a
somewhat fragile-looking snake-faced lock, holding it closed. The
diamond eyes of the stylized reptile glinted, seeming to look at her.

	A quick attempt to pull open the lock met with failure; it
was surprisingly strong for its design... or even its materials.
The gold clasp was tissue paper thin... and yet did not yield to
the Time Guardian's efforts.

	"A magical lock, then," Setsuna whispered with growing
confidence. She knew precisely how to handle such simple things as
locks. Even magical ones were no true barrier or challenge to her.

	She grabbed the lock's snake-head with her right hand and
focused her energies toward it.

	The book's metal lapped up her energy as if it were a
feast to a starving tiger.

	The snake came alive, hissing in her hand.

	Setsuna wrenched the lock to the side with all her might.

	A bubble of red lightning manifested itself around the book.
As she pulled, it expanded and grew in strength.

	Finally, it reached a threshold and the green-haired woman
stopped focusing her energy into it. The magical lock grew weaker.
Unable to resist any further, the bubble burst in a shower of
electrical sparks.

	The snake vanished into the cover and the book swung open.

	"I will not be stopped," Setsuna said with great determination.
She looked down and saw that the book had opened to its third
chapter. She read the title and frowned. "This... cannot be right."

	However, as she examined the rest of the section, a malevolent
grin crept onto her face.

	The Time Guardian realized that she had been going about...
convincing her unwanted fiance in entirely the wrong way. He was
always up to a challenge, and would eventually overcome all that
was sent at him.

	This, on the other hand, would not fail. If she did it to him,
he would be broken for good, and more than willing to break off his
engagement to her.

	It was not a possibility; it was a fact. If it were to be
employed against him, he would, without a doubt, never fully
recover... and hate her forever for what she did to him.

	As Setsuna thought over and considered the precise effects
that would be caused by the method detailed in the book, she began
to laugh. Softly at first, but soon becoming a triumphant cackle.

	Meiou Setsuna, Sailor Pluto and Guardian of Time, was going
to get rid of Ranma.

	Once and for all.

O_O

	"Stop that, stop that!" the ArbyFish said, holding a sign up
to the redhead's face. "They'll be no meta'phor's here! This is a
no-meta'phor zone."

	Ranma-chan blinked, trying to grasp the meaning of the
abstract drawings on the small, wooden picture in front of her.
"Uh... I don't get it."

	Arby rolled his head and shook his eyes. "You wouldn't." He
haphazardly took out a long twig with some leaves on it and pointed
it at the sign he was holding. "Ya see... It's all similies. On this
drawin' roight 'ere, we'z gots lotsa pictures a' absa'lutely
nothin'." He traced an outline in the air around one of the designs.
"So, ya gots stuff _loike_ something else." He traced a picture.
"See? This won's a twig." He traced another. "N' this's a badger."
He traced yet another. "Look! 'Ere's a three-toed sloth!" And
another... "N' a cabbit! Look! Can almost see it go 'Mayan' along the
Plains of Madagascar!" He tossed the twig and the sign over his
shoulder. "So, ya see, ya'z got similies on the soign, and not
meta'phors, so ya can't 'ave meta'phors in this temporal epoch!!!"
He paused. "Or... it's _loike_ that, ya see."

	"No, actually, I don't," Ranma-chan said, slowly shaking her
head in bewilderment.

	"But she was just trying to read me a story," a little,
pink-haired girl in pajamas lying by them in a bed whined.

	Arby fluttered over to sit on her head. "Alroight, Lil'
Mucus..."

	"It's Small Lady," Reenie corrected, trying, but failing to
shoo the odd little creature away.

	"'Swot I said," Arby replied, fluttering out of her reach and
settling back down on her head. "Lil' Mucus." He looked at the
martial artist and chuckled, pointing at the girl underneath him
with one of his flippers. "Cute lil' spit, inn'she?"

	Ranma-chan put down the book she had been trying to read
to the Princess. "Uh, yeah..." She paused. "Why do you keep calling
her stuff like that, anyway?"

	"Well, ya see," the green-patterned seal began, "a 'spit'
is a newborn. When they grow up a bit, they turn to a 'snot.'
Progressively, they turn from 'snot' ta 'snort' ta 'mucus,' then
'phlegm,' 'sloime,' and 'sludge.'" He paused. "Ya don't wont ta
know what 'appens afta' that. Let's just say they turn ta more
solid forms... then doie." He shrugged. "Ya know. It's a way a'loife.
We get used ta it after a whoile." He smiled. "I'm somewhere between
sloime n' sludge m'self. Ya know, I've still got 'bout foive billion
years left in me before I congeal."

	Ranma-chan stared.

	"Ya see, I don't doie... Aye _congeal_," Arby clarified, then
paused, looking off to the side.

	Ranma-chan continued to stare at him.

	"Oh, goodie! Look, a popsickle," Arby said after a moment,
starting to munch on the ends of Reenie's 'rabbit ears.'

	"Aaaah!" Reenie whined, flailing around wildly to try to get
the ArbyFish off. "Make the moldy thing stop!"

	"That's not a popsickle," Ranma-chan noted, quietly inching
toward the creature.

	"Well, it's _loike_ a popsickle," Arby said, still chewing
on Reenie's pink hair.

	"You said that it _was_ a popsickle... I thought you said
this was a no metaphor zone."

	Arby stopped, standing up on his tail. "Oh, and since when
d'you know 'bout meta'phors, yon'snort?"

	"Anything Goes Martial Arts Book Critiquing," the redhead
replied confidently. "Learned it last month to fight off a
Martial Arts Librarian that was threatening the Tendos."

	Arby chuckled. "Ya think ya soooo tough, dont'cha?"

	Ranma-chan smirked, folding her arms. "Yeah. I _am_ the best
martial artist there is, after all."

	The ArbyFish gave a predatory smile. "I'm a marshal autist,
too. I know the auts of Feng Xuey n' Haiku!" He sat up into a
rather silly, seal-like ArbyFish combat stance on Reenie's head.

	The sailor-suited girl rolled her eyes. "Those aren't
martial arts."

	"Oh, really?" Arby asked, then, much to Reenie's relief,
fluttered off of her head and tilted one of the pictures on the
bedroom wall twelve degrees to the left. "Lookit this, now, n'
listen carefully. I'm only gonna say this once."

	The ArbyFish took one short breath, and began his recital.

	"'See...
	 Klaksons broken ta moie 'ead, and realoize that Oye am ded:
	 Me."

	"I don't get it. What's that supposed to do?" Ranma-chan
asked, then winced and fell to the floor as her left side went
completely numb. "Aaah..."

	"Painful ta 'ear n' look at, innit?" Arby asked gleefully,
pointing at the now badly-positioned picture. "Marshal Auts Feng
Xuey comboined with 'Aiku cn' mess up yer energies roight noicely
if ya know 'ow ta do it." He tilted the picture back into its
original position. "Pinky winky wizzlebumz," he complimented the
picture, then turned back to Ranma-chan. "N' you can't learn it cos
I won't teach it ta ya cos it's too powa'ful. So there."

	The pigtailed girl was about to protest, but...

	*EACCCH!* Arby coughed up a small, slimy mushroom into the
redhead's lap. "There ya go." He then fluttered out of the room,
humming an innocent tune.

	As soon as Ranma-chan managed to get the feeling back into her
body, she stood. "I've seen and heard some _weird_ things in my life,
but that thing... Well, that's sure one of them." She took notice of
the mushroom clinging to her skirt. "And... I've had some pretty bad
experiences with mushrooms, too..." She picked it off and tossed it
into a nearby wastebasket.

	"So have I. Arby scares me," Reenie said, trembling slightly
as she pushed back the covers she had been cowering under.

	Ranma-chan sighed. "Oh well... No big deal. I mean it's not
like Arby's a c-c-cat or anything..."

	"Somebody call?" a small, purple cat asked, poking her head
out from under the bed. She saw the redheaded girl in the pink-
highlighted sailor fuku and smiled. "Oh, hi! You must be the new
Sailor Earth. I'm sorry for not coming out to meet you for all the
time so far you've been here... where are you going? Wait!"

	As soon as Ranma-chan saw the cat, she had taken off, running
and screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

	The cat followed with a bounce in her step. "What could she be
running from... I mean, it's just little me..."

	Reenie gasped. "Diana, wait... and Ranma, you're supposed to
be babysitting meeeee!" She climbed out of bed and followed after
them.

	The mushroom that had been thrown away jumped out of the
trash can and began to follow also, making little squelching noises
as it hopped along.

---

	Crystal Tokyo... Ah, what a place! It takes a beating and
keeps on getting rebuilt. Sometimes, they even change the wallpaper.

	A week ago, it had been attacked and nearly destroyed by no
less than ten thousand Nemesian droids, a couple dozen Nemesian
fighters, fifteen incompetent cannon-fodder Nemesian leaders, and
one hyper-powered, shrunken hentai.

	There were no survivors; Every last one of those had been
destroyed or killed in battle, by one method or another.

	Except one, that is.

	"Oh, my head..." the woman whispered as she awoke. She looked
at the individuals in front of her, trying to focus her eyes. When
she finally saw who was there, she gasped and recoiled back into the
bed she had been placed in.

	Before her stood none other than Neo-Queen Serenity, King
Endymion, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter... and a dozen silver-clad
Crystal Tokyo guards.

	"Good, you're finally awake," Neo-Queen Serenity said. "You
were in a coma for nearly a week."

	"Thanks to _you_," the injured woman hissed. "You will
suffer for this!"

	The red-highlighted Senshi stepped forward. "Riight... but
before that, we'd like to ask you a few... questions."

	The woman lying in the bed clenched her teeth and closed
her eyes tightly, a tear going down her cheek as she remembered
all that had been lost in the battle. "Might as well, for all the
good it'll do you."

	"Alright," Endymion said, "first of all, what did you hope
to accomplish by attacking us?"

	"We had hoped," the woman growled, "to _destroy_ you."
She sniffed. "I expected to take revenge for my lost brothers,
and I did NOT expect to be captured and subjected to an entire
Senshi Inquisition!"

	*BLAM!* The hospital room door blasted inward in a shower
of sparks. Sailor Saturn rushed in, waving her Glaive, followed
quickly by Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune.

	All were wearing long red robes over their fuku.

	"Nobody expects the Senshi Inquisition!!!" Saturn shouted.

	The guards backed off to the edges of the room, an action
soon mimicked by the royalty and the Senshi.

	"Oh dear," Serenity whispered to her husband, "they're at
it again..."

	"Invited by a new age-" Uranus began.
	"Our three main weapons are-" Neptune continued.
	"Fear, surprise, and a _fanatical_ devotion to our cause!"
Saturn finished, grinning maniacally.

	"Saturn," Uranus said, motioning to the woman lying on
the bed, "tie her to... THE RACK."

	*Dramatic Chord* Saturn looked around with a frightened
expression on her face. She pulled out a small, plastic-coated
dishwasher rack and a rope, which, as she balanced her Glaive
against her shoulder to free one of her hands, she tied to the
injured woman's chest.

	"Now," Neptune said to the woman with a calculating look, "will
you confess?"

	The woman scowled. "Confess to _what_?!"

	"HAH!" Neptune laughed, putting a finger up to the prisoner's
face. "HAH!" she laughed again, then paused and backed off.

	"Saturn," Uranus said, "give the rack... A TURN."

	There was a dramatic pause as the glaive-wielding Senshi looked
around, shifty-eyed. She looked back at Uranus. "Which side?"

	"I don't care which side!" the short-haired blonde Senshi
snapped.

	*CRASH!* "C-C-C-C-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!" a redheaded girl
in a pink-highlighted Senshi outfit screamed, breaking through the
wall and rushing through the room.

	"Oof!" the woman lying on the bed said in pain, as the girl
jumped onto her stomach on her direct route through the room.

	*CRASH!* The girl burst through the wall on the other side.

	"Mreow?" a small purple cat with a white, painted line down
its back asked rhetorically as it ran through in pursuit of the girl.

	"Ouch..." the sore woman said as the cat jumped in exactly
the same spot the girl did.

	The cat rushed out the hole in the other wall.

	"Vhere are you, my dahling?" a voice with a seductive French
accent called as a black and white skunk hopped in. It glanced
around and hopped onto the woman's stomach on its way through.

	"Aaah!" the woman half-screamed at the pain and twitched at
the stench wafting by her.

	"I am, how you say, coming to get yoooou!" the skunk called
as it left.

	"Noooo! Ranma, Diana, Pepe, waaaaait!" a young, pink-haired
girl in white and pink bunny pajamas and slippers called as she
jogged through.

	"Aaaow..." the woman on the bed groaned as the girl jumped
on her stomach.

	"'Scuse me, sorry!" the annoyingly cute girl called back as
she exited.

	*Squelch!* A mushroom made squishing noises as it hopped
in, leaving a slime trail. It, too, leapt upon the woman's stomach...

	Then, it looked around, squeaked, and dove into her wide-open
mouth and down her throat.

	"ACK-ACK!" the woman choked as the mushroom went into her
digestive tract. In the next instant, her hair turned yellow.
"Alright!" she cried. "I confess! I confess! I was the secondary
leader of a strike force sent specifically to destroy _you_,
Serenity. Okay?! So just purify me! Purify me NOW, why don't you?!"

	Neo-Queen Serenity took a moment to process all that had just
happened. "Ah... well, if that's they way you feel..." She took
out her magical wand and Crystal. "I mean, you're sure?"

	"YES, I'M SURE, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SCOUNDREL!!!"

	"Well, alright..."

^^^

	Ahem... And now for something completely different.


	Nephrite sat, concentrating in his cathedral, still attempting
to uncover the meaning of memories that had been revived within him
last week. "The stars know everything..."

	These memories had not changed his opinions: Far from it; the
recollection of his past experiences had only solidified his
determination to find that elusive Ginzuishou-

	{{SILVER IMPERIUM CRYSTAL,}} the massive constellation Draco
reminded, rather loudly.

	"Buzz off!" Nephrite growled, tearing his gaze away from the
functioning magical zodiac, and continued his inner muddlings.

 	Yes, he would find the Empyrean Silver Crystal, destroy that
incompetent Queen Beryl, silence that idiot Zoicite, eliminate the
Moon Princess if she decided to show up, and perhaps destroy the
entire Negaverse while he's at it.

	Maybe then, he could have some peace and quiet... settle down,
buy a house, open up a shop, get married, have kids...

	Nephrite winced. He was remembering things... but not quite
enough to figure out why he was getting these strange... impulses
every once in a while.

	All uncertanties aside, he was sure that it had something
to do with the near-death experience he had at the hands... or
tiara, rather, of Sailor Moon. That was when the flashes had
begun. He would have forgotten about them in the following
struggle with the monster Zoicite had sent against him if they had
not kept resurfacing.

	None that he had seen so far really changed his mind about
anything... but there was one image that still troubled him.

	His wife?

	His daughter?

	Nephrite knew he had neither, even in the Silver Millennium.
He had been close to some, but intimate with none.

	But the vision could not be easily dismissed, and that was
why he had spent the past week ignoring Beryl's calls and asking
the stars for answers to this.

	"The stars know everything," Nephrite repeated, turning
back toward the magical zodiac.

	In front of him, the view of stars in space swirled.

	"Show me the key to this mystery..."

	A dark, triangular view opened in front of the stellar
picture. The image of a young, reddish-brown haired girl appeared.

	"Again, it's Molly," Nephrite whispered, then frowned. "But
she didn't know about..." He paused in thought. "But the Kurozuishou
reacted to her. Either she knows how to find the Ginzuishou, or...
Could it be _inside_ her?"

	That was a theory he could test.

---

	Molly lay on her bed, sleeping soundly, unaware of the man
that had just appeared in her room.

	Nephrite held out the Star Crystal, which hovered in the air,
inches away from his open hand.

	The crystal emitted energies, which would illuminate any
trace of the Silver Crystal, if it were there.

	The energies passed over Molly, searching through her...

	Once the magic had gotten down past the bone structure without
finding anything, the general decided to give up.

	"So much for that idea," Nephrite muttered, then vanished.

...

	Doctor Samuel Beckett, accidental time-traveler and unwilling
part-time body snatcher, awoke to the now-familiar room of the girl
he had leapt into.

	He shuddered momentarily, shaking off the passing remnants of
an annoying, tingling sensation.

	"That felt weird," he whispered to himself. "I wonder what
just..." He broke off as a shining, square door slid open in the
middle of the room and a man wearing an ugly plaid suit stepped out.
"Al! Where have you been for the past week?!" He paused. "And...
why are you wearing _that_?"

	The black-haired hologram chuckled nervously, adjusting his
jacket. "Well, Sam... I kinda... lost a bet, and, well... Things
went downhill from there. I'd be VERY happy if you wouldn't ask
any more questions about the suit."

	Sam nodded quickly. "Right, right. Where have you been?"

	Al sighed. "Well... When Susan heard about how you helped
save Maxfield Stanton, she went ballistic. She didn't say much
about it--She's a pretty quiet gal, but... stuff started happening,
there was some kind of 'anti-temporal pollution' law she got pushed
through Congress... Let's just say it took a while before Goushie
and Ziggy found a convincing loophole in the legal jargon... It's
a mess, Sam. We're lucky they're letting me talk to you _now_."

	Dr. Beckett frowned. "Okay... So, now that you're here, could
you tell me something? Like, why I'm still here?"

	Al nodded, punching a few things into his hand-held computer
link. "Yeah, sure can. Ziggy says that there's an... eighty-eight
percent chance that Maxfield is still in danger."

	Sam grimaced. "What from? Last time, it was from a bunch of
magical schoolgirls and some nightmare from a science fiction horror
film."

	The hologram tapped a couple keys on the link. "Well... Sorry
about not giving any warning about them... I mean, how were we
supposed to know that Molly's friends were short-skirted nocturnal
vigilantes?"

	The time traveler shrugged. "I'm not sure I believe it
myself... But then again, it wouldn't be the strangest thing that's
happened."

	Al nodded and looked at his friend, and smiled bemusedly.
"And... Ziggy says that there's a fifty percent chance that good
ol' Mister Stanton is going to get massacred by a tree-branch
through the shoulder."

	"Oh, how wonderful."

	"It's a lousy way to die, Sam..."

---

	Nephrite stepped back into his cathedral. He sighed, shaking
his head. He had wasted several days trying to find the Ginzuishou,
and attempting to find out more about his memories.

	He hadn't made much progress. The stars knew everything...
but they sure weren't telling him much.

	The general returned to his meditations. "The stars know
everything..." He stopped, realizing the futility of his search and
remembering that Zoicite hadn't done so much as annoy him since the
'Spikey' incident. That meant she was definitely up to something;
More than likely preparing something even stronger than the beast
she had sent after him.

	Therefore, he would need more power to fight her off.

	Nephrite held his hands together in concentration. "The stars
know everything... and now, I ask for power from them! I ask for
power from the stars!"

	Intense blue energies whirled around him... then slowly faded
and dissipated into nothingness.

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	A loud, throbbing thump reverberated through the cathedral...

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	A fluffy pink bunny, wearing black sunglasses, red sandals,
and carrying a drum, slowly made its way through the room. It went
past Nephrite, stood on the back of its hind legs and twirled once
around, then made its exit.

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	*BOOM*

	Nephrite frowned at this. After another moment, he raised his
hands high. "I SAID: I ASK FOR *POWER* FROM THE STARS!!!"

	There was a dull humm and then...

	A long... _very_ long, dramatic pause.

	The brown-haired general let his hands drop. "Nothing is
happening... What could..." He stopped as he gazed at the stars
floating in front of him. "Wait..." The stellar view had moved out
to encompass a much larger area. The entire galaxy, as a matter of
fact.

	An ethereal line drew itself through a distinct, massive world,
then passed through the singularity at the center of the galaxy,
and intersected another planet on the other side.

	As Nephrite examined the impossibly detailed galactic map,
he paled. He didn't quite remember how he knew these far-off worlds
and their meanings, but he did. "Planets Vegita and Frieza on
opposite sides... centered around nothingness and obliteration."

	He also noticed a small, but _very_ bright speck moving
toward Earth's solar system from the edge of the galaxy... which
was not very far away and was closing fast.

	Nephrite banished the image with a flick of his wrist, and
sat down into the stone throne-like chair in the middle of the
room, holding his head.

	Of all the celestial signs he could have seen... that was
probably one of the worst.

	He had asked for power from the stars...

	Well, he was going to get it.

	As was the rest of the planet.

O_O

	The spherical white-grey pod sped through the vastness of
space at a velocity that would make any group of serious physicists
collectively sigh, shake their heads, and roll their eyes.

	Through the pod's large, transparent red viewing window,
a sleeping figure could be seen.

	It was a man, with wild, unruly black hair and a red heads-up
display over his left eye, attached to the side of his head by a
small metal apparatus. He wore a tight, black jumpsuit underneath
his thick, white, yellow, and blue ribbed breastplate. His armor
covered from his neck down to his waist, with extra plating over his
shoulders and more hanging downward off of his waist to provide
further protection.

	His heads-up display beeped, coinciding with several
instruments on the panel in front of him lighting up.

	[Awaken, Kakkorotto,] the apparatus on the man's head intoned.

	The black-haired man's bloodshot eyes snapped open.

O_O

	"Oh my," Kasumi Incognito said in shock as she looked over
her daughter's grades. "An eighty-seven?"

	"I'm sorry, Mother," Terra whispered as she looked down at
the kitchen floor.

	Kasumi looked worried. "Your grades have been dropping steadily
for the entire week..."

	"I... don't know what the problem is... It's as if most of my
concentration has been directed elsewhere."

	"Is something on your mind?" Kasumi asked, putting her arm
around Terra's shoulders.

	The redhead nodded. "Yes... something has _really_ been
bothering me lately. I just can't seem to be able to concentrate
very well. I can't quite place it, but-"

	"Could it be this?" Kasumi asked, bemusedly plucking a fuzzy
green thing off of her daughter's neck and showing it to her.

	Terra frowned as she recognized the item in question. "Arby?"

	"'Ello, Madam!" the ArbyFish stated enthusiastically, looking
rather pleased as he sat in Kasumi's hand.

	"What were you doing there?" Kasumi asked the creature nicely.

	"Wouldn'tcha ratha' ask _WOT_ I is?" Arby asked.

	"No," Kasumi replied, smiling, "I know who you are."

	"Ya can'tz knowz wot Aye is!" the ArbyFish said in a rather
peeved tone. "'Simply isn't propa'! I 'aven't toldja yet!" He sat
back on his tail, enraged. "Ya see... if you know wot I am before
I tellz ya so, then the fabric of our existences would 'aveta be...
um... intertwoined inta' such a knot that you'd know wot I could be
before I'd know wot you would be! This knot'd be so unstable that any
friction along the loine would cause, um... wrinkles and... blista's
in the space-mushroom continuum." He looked down at his flippers.
"Yeah, I'd say this's a sheep-shank m'self..."

	"Oh no, that is definitely a flipper. A very handsome one, I
might add," Kasumi smiled at Arby.

	"Nooo," Arby snapped... a twig between his flippers, "I mean,
th' mushroom that boinds the... world tagetha' is the mushroom that
is glued to the back of a _greata'_ mushroom... which has, um,
coagulated by th' forms of fungus that floy fribbery along flukes
of... folly. Ya see, fungus is the glue that 'olds the universe
tagether... n' if it weren't for the fungus, stars'd collapse n'
the world'd explode!" He gazed intently at Terra's mother...
then paused and blinked. "'Ey! YOUR 'ead won't 'xplode! Why not?"
He leaned in speculatively. "Got sum fungus in there, eh?
Knowadamean? Nudgenudgewinkwink. Say'no'more!"

	The brown-haired woman just smiled and nodded pleasantly.

	"So," the ArbyFish continued... snapping more twigs, "if
you'z know wot I is, it'd be... It'd be incredibly costly for
ink n'paint n' the flashbacking department... Not ta mention th'
backflashing stuff that'd 'ave ta be made, usin' all those bottle
caps ta-"

	"Oh," Kasumi said, continuing to smile, "then I don't know
you and have never met you. In any lifetime." She looked away, then
looked back, and gasped, holding a hand to her cheek. "Ara... Terra,
what is that?"

	Terra blinked. "That, Mother, is... Arby. He's an ArbyFish."

	Arby nodded, smiling. "Indeed I is. Luna kicked me out last
week, so I 'ad ta crash n' drain ena'gy n' bodily fluids from
Terra's... star seed, 'art crystal... Ya know, the basics. Can't
go back n' use me mushrooms... n' Saila' Plu'o told me ta keep an
eye on 'er n' make sure she got noice n' softened up so she can't
be powa'ful 'nough ta change the future, the toimeloine n' such.
So I sez, 'Sure. We loikes the toimeloine. Lotsa mushrooms in the
toimeloine.' She sez, 'Yeh, woteva'. Just do it.' I say, 'Oh
goodie!' So I'm 'ere, bein' 'er keepa', n' suckin' out 'er loifeforce
so she c'n be just loike the otha' normal people." He paused. "Ya
know, Terra's gots lotsa ena'gy. 'Ave ta keep on drainin' or she
keeps gettin' supa'human powa's... She'd probably be back up ta
full in a month if I stopped roight now. But no, I'z gots ta keep
doin' it so she can't foight off any brand new threats by 'erself.
She's destined ta doie, ya know. Real soon. Within a year-loike."

	Kasumi's eyes widened for a moment as she processed this
information. "Really?"

	The ArbyFish nodded. "Yup! A real universe-skakin' destiny.
It doesn't 'appen... the universe explodes. Do not collect go,
do not pass two 'undred dinare through ya circulatory system.
So, I gotta go n' make sure it 'appens by drainin' 'er 'till she's
weak as a regula' younga' 'chubby' Sushi."

	The green-white seal-like thing latched back onto Terra's neck
and started to disappear.

	Terra's smile was getting a bit strained at this moment. She
reached up to pull Arby off, but her hand passed right through him
without any effect. "Ar... Arby, draining others' energy so that
they can't survive major battles isn't very nice..."

	"Quiote," the ArbyFish replied, momentarily unattaching himself
from Terra's neck, "but I'z gots me orda's. Principle of th' thing n'
all that floomin' jarg'n." He assumed a lecturing posture. "Ya see,
if Aye didn't-"

	"Ah, Arby?" Kasumi asked.

	"Wot?" Arby asked, looking up at her.

	"Would you care for a mushroom?" the woman asked, smiling as
she held up a covered plate.

	"I loikes mushrooms... wot koinda mushroom is it?"

	Kasumi lifted the bell-shaped cover, revealing a large, pink
and orange mushroom, with a big, red nose and large, floppy red
shoes.

	The look on Arby's face at that moment was more or less the
same as that of a crusader that had just happened upon the Holy
Grail. "It's... it's... it's a Mumbling Moscow Clown Mushroom!!!"

	The mushroom honked its "nose" and began to juggle several
multicolored spherical objects, muttering incoherently.

	Without delay, the ArbyFish dove down upon it like a bowl
full of jelly.

	*Clang!* As soon as Arby was on it, Kasumi snapped the
lid over the plate.

	['Ey,] a muffled ArbyFish voice rang out. [Lemme-]

	"Could you please sit in the corner?" Kasumi asked.

	[Which one?]

	Kasumi paused, examining the extraordinarily round surfaces
of what she held. "Any one, if you don't mind."

	*Ting!* There was a minor reverberation within the container.

	[Alroight, found it.]

	Kasumi smiled. "Now, please stay there."

	[Foine.]

	Terra's mother nodded, and placed the covered plate on the
kitchen counter. "I'd like to talk to you later, if it wouldn't
be too much of a problem..."

	[Roight.]

	Terra almost frowned. "Mother, why did you do that?"

	The woman smiled down upon her daughter like a beam of pure
sunshine and placed her arms around her. "Because I care about you
deeply, and don't want to see you hurt."

	Terra blinked, raised an eyebrow, then finally smiled. "I know,
Mother." She paused. "How were you able to catch him like that?"

	"Um... I learned it long before you were born."

	"Where?"

	"At... an ArbyFish catching school."

	"I thought you said you didn't know what an ArbyFish was..."

	"That's... true, dear. I always wondered why I went there."

	"Did it take long to learn?"

	Kasumi smiled, nodding emphatically. "Yes."

	Terra turned toward the covered plate. "Are you alright in
there, Arby?"

	[Just foine. The air's stagnatin'. Good for growin' me
forceful kinetic absorbsion resistant, reactive, n' ablative
mould! With this new powa', I will grease the infidel 'shrooms...]
His incoherent babbling faded into the background as Kasumi pushed
the covered metal plate to the rear of the countertop.

	"Don't worry, Terra. He'll be fine," Kasumi said. She glanced
at the cute Hello Kitty clock on the wall, then looked back and
continued to smile at her daughter. "It's almost eight o'clock. Isn't
it time for you to go to bed?"

	Terra nodded brightly. "Yes, Mother."

	The cheerful redhead walked upstairs to her room.

	Kasumi looked toward the covered plate, holding a hand to
her cheek as she considered what to do about the errant ArbyFish.

	[Well, ya could stick me in a closet for three ta foive weeks,
put me in a microwaive, take me out, wash me with fabric softena'...
I'd start ta congeal 'bout then... But it really depends on wot-]

	"Couldn't we please just discuss this?"

	[Oh, I s'pose... if ya'z wonts ta makes things easia' on ya...
but where'z th' fun in that?]

---

	"I love humans," Kakkorotto said in what a Terran might
identify as an Australian accent, reviewing the information his
scouter was giving him, "that's why I like ta kill 'em."

	The sayajin cleared his throat and continued in a much more
malevolent tone as he looked out the window of his pod toward the
planet he was approaching, "And here we have a world that is
completely filled with them."

	Kakkorotto laughed to himself, considering what a tremendous
find he had just made. Inside this sector, the entirety of which had
been designated a 'no-fly zone' by a sayajin prince thousands of
years ago, there was a planet that had a AAA+++ combat rating.

	This meant that the inhabitants either had a very high level of
technology with extraordinarily powerful weapons, a large amount of
beings with power levels of ten thousand and up, or one... perhaps
two entities with power levels of more than one hundred thousand.

	Kakkorotto grinned.

	In any of these cases, he was in for some fun.

	Odds like this would normally have been more than enough to
frighten off his brother Raditzu... or even Prince Vegita. Come to
think about it, a world such as this might even make Frieza himself
quake in terror.

	Not Kakkorotto, though. It was true that he had been a lowly
third-class soldier sayajin, subordinate even to his older brother,
but this particular warrior had recently discovered a few ways to...
enhance his capabilities.

	The mindset that had brought about his increase of power had
resulted from something no sayajin likes: defeat. It was no ordinary
defeat, however. Kakkorotto had been captured. _Captured_ by the
defenders of a world he and the only other sayajins left in the
universe had sought to claim as theirs and sell on the intergalactic
market.

	It seemed simple enough: kill them and take their measly little
planet.

	As it turned out, though, that world was not inhabited by a
bunch of benevolent, robe-wearing, peace-loving old men. It was, in
fact, occupied by a large group of sadistic, technologically obsessed
hyper-powered multi-limbed insect-like creatures with bad temperments
and the tendancy to laugh maniacally every two seconds.

	Up until then, Kakkorotto had sometimes wondered what it would
take to get Prince Vegita, in transformed oozaru form, to scream like
a little girl and take off running.

	He shuddered, wishing that he had never found out.

	Raditzu, Nappa... or was that Kappa? Anyway, they and Vegita
had made it to their pods and escaped before the creatures could get
to them.

	Kakkorotto had not been so lucky.

	Unable to resist, he had been taken and subjected to an endless
array of esoteric, bizarre, and invariably painful experiments, most
of which brought him very near to death.

	He couldn't say how many times, nor wish to remember half the
ways, but the sayajins grow stronger after recovering from being
defeated or almost dying... and that was exactly what happened.

	Eventually, he became strong enough to fight, and even harm
some of the nigh-omnipotent creatures. During his break-out attempts,
though, he was still utterly overwhelmed by them in power and number.

	Then, he had done the impossible: He, a lowly third-class
soldier, through one particularly trying and lengthy experience, had
become a _super_ sayajin.

	The battles resulting from escape attempts with this new power
could last for hours, and he was yet unable to get away.

	It took until he had reached _tenth_ level super sayajin before
he could finally escape, and he had to destroy every last one of
those insufferable creatures before he could do so.

	As Kakkorotto reflected upon this experience, he realized that
he came out of it far more powerful than he could have possibly
imagined. In addition to this, he discovered that the creatures
had modified and upgraded his scouter: the device would not short
out, no matter what power level it was shown, and it not only
displayed the outward power levels of things; it showed the base
power level, the current power level, the maximum potential power
level, and two other settings that he couldn't quite decipher.

	And that, in a nutshell, was why he was looking forward to
killing off this planet's inhabitants. Life and death combat was
indeed pleasurable, especially against very powerful opponents.

	Kakkorotto smiled at the rapidly-approaching surface of the
planet.

	It was going to be nice to get in some more target practice
before he went back home to... say hello to Prince Vegita.

---

	Prince Herb, Emperor of the Musk Dynasty, son of Ginseng,
heir to the lineage of Bahamut, Tiamat, and Smaug, long-time enemy
of the Amazons, and all-around naughty guy, gazed upon his gathered
armies, who were spread across the fields in front of his ominous
mountain fortress.

	Fires dotted the night landscape, adding shadows to the figures
and faces of the already terrifying, beast-like soldiers.

	The Emperor's primary henchmen, two young men by the names of
Mint and Lime, stood beside him, dressed for war. Their battle armor
gleamed in the torchlight, making it almost appear as if they were
covered in freshly spilt blood.

	Aside from his new lightweight armor, Mint's usual small
wolf-cap had been replaced by a much larger and sharper-eared one.
He gave a fanged smile as he saw Herb's assembled forces look up
at them.

	Lime smoothed back his tiger-striped hair and nodded at his
leader, anxious to hear what was to be said.

	"Today," Herb called to his warriors, "we will march upon
the enemies of the Musk, and claim what is rightfully ours. We have
spent long, hard decades training, enhancing our strength, and
assembling this, the most powerful army in Earth's history. With our
newly united strength, we will crush those that oppose us with nigh
impunity, proving our might once and for all. GLORY TO THE MUSK
EMPIRE!!!"

	The army howled and cheered at their leader, willing to do
whatsoever he wished in order to prove their worth to him...

	Then, all of the sudden, a small dot appeared in the sky, a
flaming red vapor trail burning behind it...

	*CRAAAAAASH!!!* ...which soon became a rather _large_ dot, and
slammed into the midst of the Musk army, incinerating every last
one of them in the following explosion.

	As the smoke cleared, Herb looked in disbelief at the charred
and broken skeletal remains of his formerly nigh-unbeatable fighters,
and frowned.

	In the center of the carnage was a relatively small grey
sphere with a red-hued window directed at him.

	Even from this great distance, Herb could see that the occupant
of the sphere was laughing at him...

	"Mint, Lime," Herb said, choking back a sob, "kill him."

	The two in question nodded and dove off of the balcony, their
strength and agility allowing them to land without difficulty on the
ground below, and rushed toward the pod.

	A door opened on the front of the sphere, and a black-haired
man stepped out. He was wearing an odd sort of armor and had a red
glass over his left eye. He took out a rectangular device and
pointed it at his vehicle, pressing a button on the device.

	*Bok-Bwok!* The device beeped.

	The door on the grey sphere slid closed before the pod lifted
off, speeding away into the distance.

	The man had enough time to look around and admire his landing
before Herb's henchmen were within striking range.

	The fastest, Mint, arrived first. He quickly took up a fighting
stance in front of the intruder, snarled, and shouted, "Rouga Ryuusei
Dan!"

	The wolf-capped boy vanished and reappeared behind the wild-
haired man, taking out and throwing a horrendous number of small
steel daggers at him...

	*Whoosh!* ...Which passed right through him.

	Mint stopped and gasped in disbelief.

	The man glanced back, grinning at him.

	In the next moment, the fanged boy was hit from behind, knocked
violently into the ground by his opponent.

	Mint screamed in agony as the bones in his shoulder and lower
body were instantly reduced to shards by the force of the assault.

	Seeing this, Lime's eyes widened as he hurried his approach.
As he neared, he lunged, fist-extended into a frantic, high-powered
punch; the sort of punch that can shatter boulders, splinter forests,
and register on the richter scale when it hits...

	...Which was effortlessly caught by the other man.

	Without hesitation, the armored visitor twisted Lime's arm,
turning him around, and kicked him high into the air, then vanished
and reappeared above him, knocking him back down with both fists.

	Just before the large, tiger-haired young man could hit the
ground, the invader flickered into view behind him, and booted him
away to crash into the Emperor's palace, utterly shattering the wall
he had impacted upon.

	Herb's palace collapsed from underneath him.

	Aghast, he levitated down from the falling wreckage, flying
over to land in front of his enemy. He clenched his teeth, staring
in anger at the wild-haired individual. "YOU," he growled, pointing
at his enemy, his eyes glowing a bright blue as an aura of the same
color built up around him.

	The black-haired man smiled, casually grinding his booted heel
into one of the dead troopers' few intact skulls, utterly crushing it
in a splintering of grey bone. "Me," he agreed with a chuckle. He
pointed at himself. "Me, Kakkorotto." He pointed at Herb. "You,
Jane."

	Herb let out an enraged half-growl before shouting, "HITOU
RYUU-ZAN HA!!!" and unleashing a volley of arc-shaped chi-knives
at Kakkorotto, who made no move to avoid them.

	*Bambambambam* The chi-blades impacted harmlessly against a
semi-spherical transparent red barrier that appeared around the
black-haired man, who folded his arms, unimpressed.

	Not noting or caring about the ineffectiveness of the attack,
Herb flew around Kakkorotto, leaving behind a trail of energy.
"RYUU SEI HISHOU!!!" He dove toward him for a chi-enhanced multi-
vectored assault, hitting from two sides at once from his trail of
hot chi and another from his direct strike.

	*Wham!*

	"OOOF!!!"

	*BLAM!*

	The black-haired warrior casually backhanded Herb away to
crash into the top of a tall mountain near the horizon.

	"There's... no way," Mint whispered from his mostly-buried
position as he saw this.

	Kakkorotto waited for a few seconds, then tapped the device
on the left side of his head. It beeped and clicked as five rows
of small, indecipherable characters appeared on the display over
his eye.

	He glowered for a moment. "Two hundred battle points and
dropping..." The sayajin sighed and shook his head. "Barely worth
batting an eyelash over." He cupped his hands to his mouth and called
toward the mountain where he had sent his opponent. "YOU HAD BETTER
BE THIS WORLD'S VERSION OF A TRIBBLE, PAL, OR I'M GOING TO BE *VERY*
DISAPPOINTED!!!"

	With that, a light-blue aura flared up around him and he
flew off, leaving a thick energy trail as he did.


	Mint looked at the now-shattered mountain in the distance,
before his attention was called back to his current predicament.
"Unhh... Nothing's going to stop this pain..."

	Lime, badly injured, but alive, crawled out of the wreckage
of the palace and in the next couple of minutes, had managed to move
to the side his fallen comrade.

	Losing his color, the tiger-haired young man held out his hand,
in which there were two small pills. "Here... try these."

	Mint nodded, taking them in his working hand. "Yes, Nuprin.
Little... yellow... different."

---

	A dead, almost apathetic breeze blew across the dry, windswept
plateau, taking away a few more grains of sand toward the hot,
forbidding desert below.

	There were no clouds to be seen, and the only things that
broke the monotonous, oppressive surroundings were the few scattered
craggy mountains in the distance and the occasional jagged rock
jutting out of the gravely sand.

	The midday sun beat down harshly upon the burning landscape,
offering no shade, shadows, or hope of solace from its rays.

	A short distance above the large plateau levitated a being;
one wearing a dark purple gi underneath a bulky white cloth and
cape, which rippled in the wind. His face was a deep shade of
natural green, and he had large, long, roundly pointed ears. The rest
of his head was covered by a white and purple cloth turban.

	The green-skinned man looked down toward the plateau, where
another individual looked up at him.

	Standing at six feet tall and wearing the tattered remnants
of a suit of form-fitting black body armor, he made a stark contrast
against the blindingly lit desert. He wore a pair of barely intact
black combat boots, and there was a slightly torn green tiger-striped
bandanna that was partially hidden under his unkempt sugar-pink hair.

	"You've managed to impress me, Tim," the levitating one said,
hovering closer. "That's not an easy thing to do."

	"Yeah, well," 'Tim said, red-faced and sweating from the heat
his outfit was absorbing, but nonetheless looking very confident, "I
guess I'm just an impressive kind of guy, aren't I?"

	Piccolo smirked. "Riiight." He straightened his posture and
did his best to look serious. "After only one week of intensive
conditioning and literally backbreaking training under me, you've
managed to make it past the first test."

	"Excellent," the pink-haired man said, rubbing his hands
together. "What do I get?"

	The Namekkian frowned in thought, then grinned after a moment,
showing off his elongated canines. "To show off to everyone else how
great a fighter you truly are, you get... a new uniform."

	*BZZZT* Piccolo pointed a finger at 'Tim, shooting out a thin
beam of energy, which expanded to encircle the pink-haired man.

	'Tim glowed for a moment, not breaking his gaze with his
trainer. When the glow subsided, his clothes had changed.

	He was now wearing a green gi with a camouflage design. The
pants were slightly loose and baggy, but only enough to provide
freedom of movement. Above that, he wore a short-sleeved pink
undershirt, covered mostly by the gi's sleeveless vest-like top.
On the left side of the jacket's front, inscribed in a white circle,
was the design of a small, three-petaled flower with shading that
made it somewhat resemble a face.

	His bandanna had been repaired, but was otherwise unaffected.
Similarly, his black combat boots had not changed their style. He
also wore thin, pink bands around his wrists.

	And, emblazened across the back of 'Tim's shirt, against a
large, circular white background, were a few ornately drawn Chinese
characters.

	Literally translated, the kanji read, 'Wussie.'

	"Wear it with pride," Piccolo added with a narrow-eyed smile.

	*Whump!* Kicking up a cloud of dust, 'Tim fell directly onto
his back from the weight of his new outfit. "Oh, yeah! That's the
stuff!" he exclaimed. "What'd you use? High-gauge steel?"

	"Heh. No, lead-shielded uranium. Only the best for my...
'toughest' students."

	'Tim turned his head to look at his right arm, which was
firmly pinned to the ground by the pink wristband, and looked to the
other to see that it was similarly weighed down. "Alrighty, then," he
whispered in satisfaction at his new attire.

	Piccolo smiled, raising an eyebrow. "You're a real idiot, you
know that?"

	'Tim strained to lift up his head under the immense weight
of his bandanna. "Idiot? That sounds familiar, but I can't grasp the
meaning at the moment..."

	"Really?" the Namekkian asked, amused. "What about Belgium?"

	'Tim forcibly sat up. "Almost, but... not quite."

	"Nit?" Piccolo guessed.

	*Thump!* The pink-haired man's upper body fell back to the
dirt. "Nope."

	"Turlingdrome?"

	With a sudden twist of his legs and shoulders, 'Tim rolled
onto his front. "Not exactly..."

	"...Loon?"

	"Wasn't that the First Advisor's nickname?"

	Piccolo laughed. "Joojooflop..."

	'Tim blinked. "What?"

	"Smeghead."

	The pink and green attired part-time human frowned. "So...
what are you trying to tell me?"

	"That you're a complete and total _wussie_!"

	"Now _that's_ stepping over the line," 'Tim growled as he
pushed himself up with his hands and knees into what could be termed
a very shaky 'girly-style' pushup. He looked up at his levitating
trainer. "And I _hate_ it when people step over lines. Especially
pink ones. It disturbs my sense of continuity."

	The green-skinned alien looked him in the eye and smirked.
"Man, you _are_ pansy, aren't you?"

	The air grew silent.

	*KABLAAAM!* Anticipating future violence, a mountain in the
background exploded.

	"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!!?!?!" the pink-haired man
snapped, somehow managing to drag himself to his feet, his legs
shaking under the tremendous weight of his clothes.

	"Let's see," Piccolo said, counting off the insults on his
fingers, "an idoit, Belgium, a nit, a Turlingdrome, a loon, a
joojooflop, a smeghead, a wussie..." He grinned. "And a pansy."

	The faint sound of birds could be heard in the distance.

	*BLAM!!!* Another mountain exploded in a shower of dust and
rock.

	"Well," 'Tim began, his eyes narrowed and his legs ready
to buckle out from under him, "_you_ are nothing more than a
hologram!"

	"A... what?" Piccolo asked, not exactly impressed at the lack
of force behind this particular insult.

	The pink-haired man grinned. "A hologram; a photonic projection
generated by a computer-based emitter."

	The Namekkian stared at him... then started chuckling, before
bursting into all-out hysterical laughter.

	"This is no joke, I can assure you," 'Tim said through clenched
teeth. "Your life is a hoax, perpetrated by _me_ because nobody
from Namek would take my calls. You were created to train _me_." His
expression relaxed slightly. "In short, your life; your rivalry with
Goku, the fight with Raditz, the trip to King Kai's place, and even
that incident with Nail, wasn't real. None of it happened. Sorry,
you're a hologram, and I'm not. Nyaaa!"

	*Thump!* Finally, 'Tim could no longer support his weight and
fell flat onto his face. "Ow..."

	Piccolo finally managed to stifle his laughter to a point where
he could speak. "You're some piece of work, 'Tim," he chuckled, "I
haven't laughed this hard in a _LONG_ time."

	"Yeah," 'Tim said, slowly sitting up, "you should be laughin'."
With no small amount of effort, he rummaged around in one of his
pockets, finally pulling out a small rectangular box, which he
flipped open. "Computer, remotely overlay program Piccolo-Alpha-Five
with modification Epsilon, and make it mauve."

	[Confirmed,] a voice from the box said.

	Piccolo smirked. "What's that supposed to do? Turn your face
purple?"

	"No," 'Tim half-growled, once more dragging himself to his
feet. He smiled mischievously at his trainer. "Turn you into a
ballerina."

	*Poof!* In the next moment, the Namekkian found himself wearing
a fluffy, mauve tutu... With a white leotard, tights, and laced up
mauve slippers.

	"Wear it with pride!" 'Tim chuckled, pushing back some of his
disorganized pink hair in the traditional Namekkian gesture to,
shall we say, "Sod off, ya wee pansy!"

	Piccolo stared agape at his altered costume, then looked down
at 'Tim and scowled. "You'll pay for that," he promised.

	'Tim smirked. "Just try it, you substandard hologram of an
asexual, floating, pinecone-dropping, photosynthesizing, water
sucking, purple-wearing bipedal son of a brotherless egg." He held
his communicator up in front of him. "Computer, deactivate-"

	*BLAAAAAAM!!!!*

	"...program?" 'Tim finished, then slowly looked down to find
that his communicator... AND right hand had been utterly destroyed.
"Hmm... I _know_ that's going to sting a bit when the nerve signal
finally resolves itself, and..." He winced, barely able to maintain
his shaky balance as he doubled over in agony, clutching the newly
charred flesh with his other hand. "Ah, there it is! Right on cue,"
he choked out, quite pleased at his analysis. "It isn't _nearly_ as
bad as the last time, though..."

	"You've got two seconds to apologize," Piccolo added, still
looking a bit peeved. "Or I start getting mean." He emphasized the
word 'mean' by momentarily charging his index and middle finger on
his right hand with a sparking yellow energy. "Two..."

	"Apologize to a _hologram_?!" 'Tim shouted incredulously.

	"One..."

	"Hah! Like I'd ever-"

	*BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!*

	"OH YEAH, THAT'S THE STUFF!!!" the pink-haired man shouted,
his eyes bulging wide as Piccolo blasted him in the chest, pushing
him to the edge of the plateau, leaving a deep trail in the hard-
packed dirt to his final location. "Aaaaaow," he muttered, looking
down to the one-half-inch deep, blackened gouge that had been taken
out of his green gi and pink undershirt. His forearms were also
badly burned from the blast. He winced. "That... stings."

	"Hmph." Piccolo looked on in disgust. "Quite frankly," he said,
"I'm _embarrassed_ you even survived that."

	"You (HACK!) call that an attack?" 'Tim taunted, coughing
out a small puff of black smoke. "Whoa, beta and gamma particles..."
He attempted to laugh, but only managed a short chortle, as his
charred lungs began filling with fluid. "Come along, then..."

	The long-eared Namekkian rolled his eyes and shook his head,
turning his back to the man. "I _really_ shouldn't even bother..."

	The green-clothed man wobbled at the edge of the cliff. "Brown-
booted dimorphic egg-laying lizard!!!"

	Piccolo glanced back at him. "But since you asked so nicely..."

...

	Kasumi gasped, almost dropping the dish she had been drying
off with a small towel over the sink. "Oh my..."

	[C'n feel that, can'tcha?] Arby asked from inside the covered
metal plate at the back of the counter. [It's violins. Lots of 'em.]

	The brown-haired woman pursed her lips, put down the dish, and
took off the plate cover. "What do you know about... Oh, I'm sorry."

	Arby and the Mumbling Moscow Clown Mushroom were sitting at
a small table on the plate, having tea. "Do you moind?" the ArbyFish
asked indignantly, looking up at Kasumi.

	*Ching!* Arby pulled the cover back down and continued speaking
incomprehensibly to his conversational partner on the other side of
the table. [So I sez ta me mushroom...]

	Kasumi glanced around, then pulled the drapes away from the
window and gazed off into the night.

	She looked worried.

...

	*KERUNCH!!!*

	"Urk-urk-urk," the pink-haired man choked, significant
quantities of his own blood draining from his system out of various
deep wounds, including but not limited to his mouth, his right eye,
and a really big one on his chest.

	He had been knocked off the plateau, and the slaughter... ER,
_fight_, had continued for a few seconds as 'Tim was rapidly,
professionally, and systematically ripped to shreds.

	"Okay, but this is the last time," Piccolo said. "This is your
brain..." He held up a red mass in his right hand. "This is your
brain on Piccolo."

	*SQUELCH!!!* He crushed the mass, gore squirting in all
directions.

	"ANY QUESTIONS???"

	'Tim coughed, beginning to convulse, but managed to raise his
one working hand. "Y... yes." He coughed once more. "How-how...aaah-"

	"Let me guess," the green-skinned alien muttered, "you're
wondering how many snaps it takes to get to the center of a
joojooflop, right?"

	The red-soaked gi-wearing individual twitched, involuntarily
wobbling his head side to side.

	Piccolo grabbed him by the head with one hand and pointed
the other at 'Tim's ribs. "Let's find out."

	*SNAP!* "One!"

	'Tim winced in pain, his mouth opening wide and his lips drawn
back as if he were trying to scream. His remaining eye began to glow
a faint blue.

	*SNAP!* "TWO!"

	The pink-haired man let out an agonized wail. A bright blue
aura started pulsing around him.

	*ZRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* His bandanna turned to black ash amidst the
sheer power flowing through it. The torched cloth fragmented and blew
away.

	*SNAP!* "TH-" Piccolo stopped as he felt the energy from the
man in his grip build up. He frowned, then made a quick and wise
decision.

	*WHOOSH!* Piccolo flung the battered man away from him with
a flick of his arm.

	As 'Tim flew toward a nearby rock outcropping, a glowing,
golden crescent moon appeared on his bare forehead, thin shafts of
light shining out of it. "Ghaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Tears formed at the side
of his tightly-closed eye.

	His wounds quickly regenerated; his eye shifted and reformed,
as did the damaged skin on his body. His hand reshaped itself into
perfect working order. His broken ribs, damaged lungs... All of it
had completely reformed in a matter of seconds.

	*KABLAAAAM!!!* A blast erupted from his aura, obliterating
the outcropping he was approaching.

	Piccolo was blown back against the wall of the plateau from
the force of the resulting shockwave.

...

	A white-blonde woman with a blue mark on her forehead looked
at the wildly flashing computer terminal in front of her.

	She frowned. "There it is again..."

...

	As the aura subsided, 'Tim slowed midair, landed softly, then
turned around and looked without emotion back at Piccolo, his eyes
flaring a bright blue. The crescent moon mark on his forehead gleamed
brightly enough to be easily seen from the long distance away.

	The Namekkian's eyes widened, feeling the awesome energies
pulsating throughout the area, focused around the pink-haired man.
"NOOO!!!"

	Bits of rock rose into the air and the ground began to crack
underneath 'Tim. He cupped his hands together as a golden aura
flared up around him, aiming at the green-skinned man.

	*Zrr-RRR-RRR-RRR* "KA-MAY-HA-MAY-HA!!!"

	*BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!* Piccolo barely managed to move
aside as a massive, continuous blast came forth from his opponent's
hands, utterly obliterating the plateau in a flash of fragmenting
rock. "Where'd he get that much _power_ from?!" he whispered in
disbelief as he looked back across the charred landscape to his
glowing opponent.

	A few high-velocity pebbles deflected off of a randomly
flickering spherical blue barrier around 'Tim.

	Piccolo cracked his knuckles and smoothed down his mauve tutu,
taking a deep breath.

	This was going to get nasty.

---

	Luna's ears pricked up.

	The mooncat opened her eyes, then slowly stood up on Serena's
bed and stretched, yawning. She took a quick glance around and leapt
over to the windowsill.

	Tonight, the sky was quite beautiful, yet at the same time,
somewhat ominous. The bright white light of the full moon was
visible, shining through a circular break in the rippling black and
red-hued clouds.

	Luna sighed. The Moon... The Moon _Kingdom_; her former home,
destroyed untold ages ago by the Negaverse and its host of evil
monsters. Unfortunately, her recollection of the Moon Kingdom and
the events leading up to its destruction were sketchy at best. Try
as she might, she simply could not remember enough details to be of
any great use to Sailor Moon, the other Scouts... the other _Senshi_.

	The mooncat looked down, frowning. Funny that she should
choose now to make that distinction. Were the girls merely young
Scouts, or were they Senshi; Soldiers? Clearly, they were young,
inexperienced, and had difficulty concentrating on their mission,
which was to...

	Luna scowled in frustration. Could she have forgotten her
mission _that_ easily? After a moment's thought, it came back to her:
Fight the Negaverse and find and protect the Moon Princess... But if
things _that_ important could slip her mind, what else could she be
forgetting? Perhaps something even more important, like the fact
that she held the Crescent Moon Wand, an artifact of great importance
that held the key to not only finding the Princess, but also to
finding the Imperium Silver Crystal, the power of which could be
used to destroy Queen Beryl and the Negaverse once and for all.

	The black cat laughed quietly as she hopped back onto the
bed and curled back up to go to sleep. Yes, give her a chance, and
she'd probably forget about that, too. Honestly, her memory nowadays
was becoming totally unreliable...

	Luna paused, her eyes widening as she realized the sheer,
unadulterated importance of her last few thoughts. "The Crescent
Moon Wand!" she half-shouted, standing.

	"Luna," Serena whispered groggily as she rolled over in
her bed, "can you keep it down? I'm trying to get to sleep _early_
for once..."

	"Serena," Luna said, looking up at her, "there is something
important I need to give you."

	"Can't this wait 'till tomorrow?" the pigtailed blonde
groaned, her eyes sliding partially open.

	The cat shook her head. "No, I am afraid that this cannot
wait." She jumped upwards and performed a midair backflip before
making a perfect, four-point landing back onto the bed.

	A wand plopped down into Serena's lap. Its handle was an
off-pink color, and was topped with a large, but thin, lopsided
crescent moon ornamentation. Between the handle and the crescent
moon was a jeweled intersection.

	"This," Luna said, "is the Crescent Moon Wand."

	"Oh," Serena mumbled, idly picking it up. "What does it do?"

	The mooncat prepared to tell her everything she knew about
the Wand and its inner workings. Most importantly, she prepared
herself to tell about how it could be used to help fight the
Negaverse.

	Unfortunately, she was drawing a blank at the moment.

	"Er, well," Luna began uneasily, "it's the..." She took a deep
breath and continued in a more confident tone. "For one thing, it is
the symbol of leadership among the Sailor... Scouts. You are their
leader."

	Serena raised a tired eyebrow. "Shouldn't, like, Terra get
that, then? _She_'s a princess, remember?"

	The cat coughed. "Ah, well... Yes, that's true, Serena," she
said, "but she was merely the _adopted_ princess of the Moon
Kingdom."

	"That's gotta count for something..."

	"Right, it most certainly does, but..."

	"But... what?"

	Luna sighed and looked the girl in the eye. "To be perfectly
honest, does Terra look like she would be of use leading any real
fighting?"

	"Okay... I guess that could be a problem. Why don't you go bug
Raye about it?"

	"Serena," Luna hissed, narrowing her eyes, "why do you
keep trying to evade your responsibilities as a Sailor Scout?"

	"I just wanna go to sleep!" Serena whined, covering her
face with her pillow.

	"Oh, alright!" Luna replied, turning around and laying down.

	"Hmm," Serena began, putting down her pillow, "you've been
_really_ pushy since you kicked Arby out..."

	"I have not," Luna sulked.

	"Do you miss him at all?"

	The black cat closed her eyes and shook her head. "_Him_?
Absolutely not. Not after what he did last week."

	"What did he do? You still haven't told me about it."

	"Hmph. I don't want to talk about it."

	"Okay, whatever. Goodnight, Luna," Serena finished, then
rolled over onto her side, snuggling up against her nice, fluffy
feather-down pillow.

---

	His lips curled back into a sneer and his eyes still
burning a bright blue color, 'Tim stretched his hands forward
toward Piccolo, who lay bruised, battered, and beaten on the
hot desert sand.

	"What... are you?" Piccolo asked as he inched away on his back,
holding the clear-fluid-dripping stump where his arm had been a few
minutes ago.

	The aura around the pink-haired man flared in response, but
he was otherwise silent as energy gathered in shafts to his hands,
creating one large blue swirling sphere. "YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE,
GIVEN FORM."

	With that, he released the ball toward Piccolo.

	*BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!* A tremendous explosion
rocked the landscape, digging a deep hole into the ground and
blasting up dust and other debris.

	Breathing harshly, the aura around 'Tim flickered out, and the
glow of the crescent moon on his forehead decreased in amplitude
before settling into a solid gold color. The energy burning in his
eyes also faded. He smiled as he took notice of the destruction
before him. "Oh yeah, baby... That's what _I'm_ talking about."

	After a tense moment, the dust cleared.

	'Tim frowned.

	A black-haired man wearing a set of thick, ribbed upper-body
stood, hovering above the hole that 'Tim's blast had created. A
red aura around him flickered, occasionally deflecting a random piece
of flying debris.

	Behind him, Piccolo's jaw dropped. "Goku...?"

	The levitating individual glanced back at the Namekkian,
raised an eyebrow, then turned back to 'Tim and frowned in mock
disapproval. "Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Beating up on a harmless Namekkian...
You should be _ashamed_ of yourself."

	"He's just a hologram," 'Tim said. "He can't feel anything."

	*Squelch!* Piccolo grimaced as he regenerated his arm.

	"Heh. Riiight," the black-haired man said. "Of course he's
a hologram." He pointed at himself and smiled. "I'm a hologram, too."

	*Shing* The crescent moon on 'Tim's forehead gleamed audibly.
"I doubt that," he replied, and took a step forward. "Now, could you
please get out of my way: I'd really like to finish him off in an
unneccesarily graphic fashion, if you don't mind." He shrugged. "You
know, it's a macho thing I picked up somewhere back in the middle
ages. You go draw your sword, lop off a couple of their limbs...
remove their eyes, then you go and chop off a few limbs of your own
to add to the general mess, then the rats come..." He shuddered. "I
hate rats: They drive me crazy." He paused. "Crazy... I was crazy
once. They put me in a rubber room. I died in that room. Then they
put me in a little pine box. Then the rats came." He grimaced.
"Rats... I hate rats: They drive me crazy." He paused. "Crazy, I
was crazy once... Twice, actually. They put me in a rubber room-"

	The armor-clad man stared at him. "Get on with it."

	'Tim looked at him with a start. "Oh! Right... Who are you?"

	"My name," the black-haired man replied, "is Kakkorotto."

	'Tim blinked. "I'm sorry."

	Behind Kakkorotto, Piccolo stood, frowning deeply as he took
stock of the man's appearance and attire. "Wait a sec... You're not
Goku, are you?"

	"Who's Goku?" Kakkorotto asked, not turning around.

	Piccolo warily took a step back, his eyes narrowed at him.

	"He's a fictional character, like Piccolo here," 'Tim said,
then chuckled. "A _sayajin_."

	"Really...?" Kakkorotto asked, starting to look interested.
"What do you know about sayajins?"

	The pink-haired man smiled, thinking it over. "Hmmm... Let's
see... When they have hair, it's black and all messed up, the smaller
ones are usually more powerful, they've got this brown tail that they
keep tied around by their waist..." He paused. "Actually, they look
a lot like you."

	"Maybe," the sayajin replied, "that's because I _am_ a sayajin."

	"That _could_ be it," 'Tim admitted. "Either that, or your
hairstylist had an epileptic fit..."

	Kakkorotto looked at him and laughed. "Your hair looks just
mine..."

	"Yeah? Mine's pinker. Got a problem with that?"

	"So what if I do?"

	'Tim cracked his knuckles and pulled out a knife and fork.
"Transform," he ordered.

	The sayajin raised an eyebrow. "What?"

	"Transform. Turn into that great, big oozaru I know you
can be."

	Kakkorotto was at a loss for words. "Uh... why?"

	"Don't worry, I'll still be able to fight you."

	"Why?" Kakkorotto pressed. "Why do you want me to transform?"

	"Because it's dinner time... and I missed lunch."

	The black-haired sayajin glanced up at the sun, which was
in the middle of the sky. "Dinner time, huh?"

	'Tim nodded. "And you'll be the main course. Oozaru is...
well, a little over twenty thousand years ago, it was my favorite.
So, since I've been reviewing a few things I haven't done for a
while, I thought I'd-"

	"So you're twenty thousand years old..." Kakkorotto said,
then pushed a button on his heads-up display, causing a few
undiscernable characters to appear on the glass. "That explains a
few things... Like how a _human_ of all things has twenty-"

	"Are you going to transform or not?" 'Tim asked, impatiently
tapping his knife and fork together.

	"Hmm... Let me think about that one. No."

	"Pleeeeeeease?"

	Kakkorotto levitated a little closer. "I don't think so."

	'Tim advanced, his arms wide. "PRETTY plea-"

	*Beep*Beep!*

	The two stopped.

	'Tim frowned and pulled out a three by five by one inch black
rectangular device with a one-line LCD display. "Remember to take
Jade to the meeting with... Oh, no, I forgot about that." He looked
at Kakkorotto. "Look, I'd _love_ to have you for dinner, but duty
calls. Computer, beam me-"

	*ZZR!* A quick, beam-like blast from Kakkorotto knocked the
device out of 'Tim's hand. "Don't worry, it can wait," the sayajin
noted, not leaving a great deal of room for argument.

	'Tim looked down at the charred remnants of his obliterated
pager. "I really wish they'd stop doing that..."

	The golden crescent moon mark on his forehead flickered for
a second, then turned a dark shade of blue.

@@@

	The beautiful, white-blonde Goddess of Love, Urd, stared at her
Yggdrasil terminal...

	"Why's the registry coming up _now_?" she asked rhetorically.
"I was working on... Hey! It's that guy again!"

	The terminal was clear, aside from a small list:

	[Urd:       Goddess 2nd Class Limited.   Of the Past and/or Love.
	 Belldandy: Goddess 1st Class Unlimited. Of the Present.
	 Skuld:     Goddess 3rd Class Limited.   Of the Future.

	*Wish request* Working.............. done.

	 'Tim: Goddess 1st Class Unlimited. Of the *cOntInUITy ErRRor$
#%@#^#^@#$%&(*(%^#%**&^*()&^####&$%$&^*^&@$%^!#^@W@*($%^%#^@$%&#%^(#
&#$^#$#@$^%$%^&@%&*######@#%@^^^^^^^*^(&$&*^$$^%$^#$erT$#^@#GFERY$43
32$%#^#$T$#GERYI&rth4567u%^UY%&$#@#$%^$#^*#&$&*$^#$*$&%#$*$^*#^*#&@#]

	*BEEEP*BEEP*BEEEP*BEEEEP!*

	Urd frowned deeply as the terminal continued to gibber
incoherently, before it fell over, screaming. "Oh no..." She hit
Ctrl-Alt-Delete to reset the terminal. "I thought Skuld said she
fixed that!"

@@@

	*BZRRRRRREEEEOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!*

	Across the desert landscape, a ripple of crackling blue energy
blew the rocks and sand away from the origin of the outburst: A
pink-haired man in a green and pink gi.

	Within a couple of minutes, the blast died down and the sand
settled.

	"Uhhh... Proved?" 'Tim muttered. He shook his head in an
attempt to clear it. His crescent moon flickered back to a gold
color.

	"That was... different," Kakkorotto noted, unphazed.

	"Okay," 'Tim said, rubbing his forehead. "Ow..." He sighed and
looked at the other man. "As much as I'd like to stay, I need to go.
Now." He pulled out yet another small rectangular device. "Computer,
power down gravity net."

	[Powering down,] the device intoned. [Six gees... Five gees...
Four gees... Three gees... Two gees... One gee. Powerdown
successful.]

	"Whoah," 'Tim said, reeling from the sudden change in forces
surrounding him. He stumbled around for a second, before realizing
that he hadn't requested a beamout. "Oh... yeah, Computer, beam me
up."

	Kakkorotto had his finger raised for another taunting blow, but
for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to stop the other man from
leaving. "Dang," he murmured as 'Tim vanished in a flickering,
sparkly effect.

	A twig, the only twig for five hundred miles, snapped behind
him.

	"What?!" the sayajin shouted, whirling around to see the
Namekkian powered up for a massive blast.

	*zzzRRRR*

	"Heh heh heh," Piccolo laughed as he brought two of his fingers
forward, which had been charged with horrendous quantities of energy.
"Special... Beam... Cannon... FIRE!!!!"

	*ZRRRRRRR*

	"Oh, please," Kakkorotto groaned, rolling his eyes. He held out
a hand in front of him.

	*RRRRRRRRR-BLAAAA-* The Namekkian fired off a thick, spiraling
red beam at the sayajin... but the blast stopped several feet away
from Kakkorotto's hand, and stayed there for several seconds as
Piccolo continued his attack. As soon as the beam cut off,
Kakkorotto, with a flick of his wrist, sent the energy right back at
his enemy, in the same form as it came.

	Piccolo looked on in dismay as his own attack sped toward
him...

	*BLAM!!!* ...and passed harmlessly through his chest,
obliterating a mountain behind him.

	"What the..." Piccolo whispered, looking down to see that there
was no gaping, cauterized hole through him that would normally have
accompanied a situation such as this.

	"Oh, and by the way," Kakkorotto said, slowly powering up for a
shot of his own, "I _love_ the dress."

	Piccolo stared agape at the sayajin, idly fingering his tutu.
"Such power..." Suddenly, he scowled in angry realization. "So I _am_
a hologram... Fine, then! Do your worst, Kakarot!"

	"Oh, don't worry, I will. And it's Kakkorotto, by the way."

	*Chink* A small rock from the obliterated mountain behind
Piccolo hit something on his arm. *Zrr..zrr* He flickered and
vanished, then a small, thin metallic object fell unheralded to the
ground.

	Kakkorotto's jaw dropped, as did his arms. "Not ANOTHER weak
battle!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "What kind of triple A plus
planet is this?!"

	The armored man sighed in disappointment, then tapped his
scouter. He brightened at the figures that appeared on it. "Now
_this_ looks promising..."

^^^

Initializing.......... Done.

Galactic Address: Furinkan;;Nerima;;Tokyo;;Japan;;Earth;;Sol
Time Index:       990 BCT, 15:23 (1993 AD, 3:23 PM)
E. Margin:        20 Sesquacent
Meandering:		Acceptable


	A purple and black vortex opened above the Tendo Dojo. It
crackled with electricity for several seconds before a redheaded
teenage girl in a pink-highlighted sailor fuku fell from it...

	*CRASH!* ...right through the roof of the household, landing
facedown in the middle of the practice hall floor.

	A green-haired woman in a black-highlighted sailor suit that
carried an ornate red-orb-tipped staff appeared next to her, pulling
the girl to her feet. "We have arrived, Ranma," she said, barely
managing to conceal her distain. "You are home."

	"Thanks, Setsuna," the girl replied, taking a moment to
stabalize herself. "That was _some_ vacation. A weird powerup, a
new level of training, a _battle_." She looked up at her fiancee.
"Is Happosai _really_ gone?"

	Sailor Pluto smiled, her eyes narrow. "Most assuredly, but
he is not the one you should be worried about."

	Ranma smiled at her. "Who _should_ I be worried about?"
She tugged at the pink bow on the front of her outfit. "I mean,
with _this_ thing, I feel like I could've fought off Pantyhose,
Herb, and Saffron at the same time without breaking a sweat!"

	"I wouldn't go _that_ far," Pluto replied, making her way
toward the room's exit. "Powerful though you may be, you only
rate point zero... zero... _zero_ three SVs."

	"Uh... SVs?"

	"Sailor Vegitaseis."

	"What's that?"

	The taller woman was silent for a moment. "Someone powerful far
beyond what your meager imagination can comprehend. Eldest sister to
that world's prince... even _he_ fears her. Her capabilities exceed
that of even the primal forces of the universe: Nature, Science,
Power, Chaos..."

	Ranma blinked, mulling that over. "So I'm... like, only four
orders of magnitude off stuff _that_ powerful?!" She grinned.
"Alright!"

	"Amazing," Sailor Pluto muttered, "that one so dense
understands the concept of orders of magnitude..."

	"Anything Goes Martial Arts Quantum Mechanics," Ranma added.

	"Yes... It took you nearly a month to learn."

	"Hey! It was only two and a half weeks!"

	Pluto stopped, then whirled to face her. "That is irrelevant
now. Ranma, I am giving you one last chance before I pronounce your
everlasting torment: Renounce our engagement at once."

	The redhead blinked. "Where'd _that_ come from?"

	The green-haired woman looked down at her, anger apparent
in her red eyes. "Ranma..."

	Ranma began fidgeting. "Er..." She held the brooch on her
chest forward slightly. "Say, uh, how do I get outta this thing?
You haven't told me yet."

	"Do _not_ change the subject."

	"Well, um..."

	Setsuna nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought." She
placed an open hand on Ranma's chest.

	Ranma stood still, looking nervously at her. "Uhhhhhhh..."

	*RIIIIP!* The Guardian of Time removed the brooch from the
girl's outfit. The item in question was hesitant to leave, and
made a rather excruciating tearing sound that would make one believe
that more was removed than actually was.

	*ZZRrrrrrr...* Ranma's skin glowed as the fuku disappeared in
a shower of pink autumn leaves, soon to be replaced by her sleeveless
Chinese-style shirt and black pants. "Okay, that's better," she
commented as she readjusted to the feeling of having her old outfit
back. She paused, and looked up at Setsuna. "All I need now is some
hot water, and I'll be good to-"

	Sailor Pluto silently handed him a steaming kettle.

	"Oh, thanks, Setsuna!"

	The redhead poured the hot contents onto herself...

	*Splash!* No effect, save for a lingering... dampness.

	Sailor Pluto smiled at her. "I warned you. Countless times.
Therefore, a few... alterations have been made to give further
encouragement."

	Ranma, looking rather shocked and confused, opened her mouth
to speak... but was interrupted when a short, black-haired boy in
a white gi walked in.

	"R-Ranko!" he started. "Where have you been for the last two
weeks?!"

	Ranma blinked. "Ranko...?" She glanced around. "Is Mom here?"
She looked back at the boy... then stared for a second. "Akane!?"

	"Kaneda," the boy corrected, looking somewhat annoyed, "your
fiance, remember?"

	Ranma's jaw dropped. She quickly glanced at Sailor Pluto, who
nodded. "And things will just become worse the longer you resist,"
the time guardian added matter-of-factly. "As things stand, you
were born Saotome Ranko, _daughter_ of Genma and Nodoka. You are
engaged to Tendo Kaneda, who does not mind the engagement _nearly_
as much as Akane did."

	Kaneda frowned and looked at Ranma. "What's _she_ talking
about, Ranko?"

	The redhead started to respond, but a previously unseen
panda came up from behind with a large wooden sign and batted her
out of the room, through the roof.


	Outside the Tendo household, the decorative fish in a large
pond swam peacefully, contemplating the mysteries of the galaxy,
meditating on the ways to perfection...

	*SPLASH!* ...then a redheaded girl crashed into the water,
destroying forever that which would have become the cornerstone
for universal telepathic tranquility for mute sentient beings.

	A black-haired boy rose up out of the water, spitting out
one of the hyperintelligent, fish-like Koi. "What the..." the
boy whispered as he noticed the change. "So I guess that means..."

	"...That you, Ranma, are now a _girl_ that is cursed to become
a boy when splashed with cold water," Sailor Pluto noted, appearing
next to the pond.

	Ranma-kun raised an eyebrow as he stopped to consider the
implications of that. "That's... kinda warped, isn't it, Setsuna?"

	Pluto nodded, her expression indicating that he had just
hit right upon the point of it all.

	The young man frowned deeply, and climbed out of the pond.

	For some unfathomable reason, Ranma's mother, Nodoka, chose
that moment to walk by...

	Ranma-kun stopped as he noticed. "Uh, Mom?"

	The middle-aged woman smiled as she approached. "Oh, how
manly my daughter is!" she said proudly, looking between Ranma-kun
and Sailor Pluto. "I'm so proud of you!"

	Ranma-kun blinked. Hard.

	A teenage girl with a pageboy haircut walked out of the
house, grinning broadly as she flipped through a stack of large
photographs. "Kuno-chan's going to LOVE these... I'm going to
be _rich_!"

	*Oof!* In the euphoria of the moment, though, her foot
accidentally caught on a stray rock, sending her slamming into the
ground, scattering the pictures she had taken at some undisclosed
time. "No!"

	As Nabiki stood and dusted herself off, simultaneously
grabbing for the flying pictures, Nodoka caught one of them.

	Ranma's mother froze in shock as she examined the picture.
She slowly lowered it and glanced between Sailor Pluto and Ranma,
her gaze settling on her offspring. "What is the meaning of
_this_!?" she yelled in that very special horrifying way that only
parents can, showing the photo to Ranma-kun.

	The picture was that of Ranma, in girl form, in a pink-
highlighted abbreviated sailor fuku, looking rather downtrodden
at the destroyed crystal structures around her.

	"UHHH... I can explain!" Ranma-kun started, holding his
hands up defensively.

	Nodoka narrowed her eyes, then drew her katana and leveled
it at him. "YOU HAVE UNTIL I CATCH YOU!!!" she yelled, running
forward, swinging her weapon angrily.

	"Yipe..." Ranma-kun said quietly, then took off running.

	Nodoka followed the boy around the area in a crazed, yet
predictable circle as Ranma-kun tried to explain the situation,
but which all came out as, "Uh... Ah... Eh!"

	Sailor Pluto looked at the frightened young man as he
passed near and noted that, "I will reverse all this if you will
simply nullify the engagement!" she called. She paused and muttered,
"Though how I was bindingly engaged to a young _girl_ is-"

	An old man in a black gi hopped on in, looking very
forlornly at a bottle he carried in his hand. He sighed and
tossed it behind him as he bounded away.

	*SHING!* A random slash of Nodoka's katana split the
bottle in twain, splashing all the contents onto Setsuna....

	The muscular, green-haired man in a _tight_ white and black
sailor fuku gasped, his mouth and eyes wide in shock. "What...
NO!" he screamed as he felt the change take place.

*CRASH*

	"ENOUGH!!!!!" Sailor Pluto shouted, smashing the crystal
imaging globe into jagged shards with the tip of the Garnet Rod.

	The tall woman threw aside her staff and turned in rage back
toward the towering gothic vaults of The Archives.

	"Theoretical temporal simulations," Setsuna spat, "USELESS!
Twenty out of one hundred fifty margin of error... BAH!" She
slammed a fist into a nearby pillar, badly cracking the marble
support. "Billions of years of the best collected works _ever_,
and they still cannot find a better solution than the one I
discovered earlier..."

	The Guardian of Time took several halting breaths, her eyes
filled with tears. "But... it is too much, even for _him_!" She
gritted her teeth, kneeling down to pick up the timestaff. "Surely
I needn't go _that_ far in achieving my goals." Her breathing
calmed. "Yes... Maybe this globe was malfunctioning... I shall
find another in the adjoining wing and..."

	Sailor Pluto cursed under her breath, slamming the end of
the staff into the stone floor. "No! I MUST do it... All of this
distraction; this meandering; this PROCRASTINATION is keeping me
from doing what _must_ be done."

	Picking up a small book from the table, the determined woman
began toward the exit.

	"It ends, Ranma," Sailor Pluto hissed.

	One way or another, it _ends_.

---

	"Giddyap!!" Reenie commanded, rattling the reigns.

	"Urgh... Yeah," Ranma-chan replied, then muttered, "What's
this kid on!?"

	Ranma-chan had been continuing her recently added duties of
watching over and taking care of Crystal Tokyo's Crown Princess.
Babysitting, if you will.

	Small Lady, or Lil' Mucus, as she is commonly referred to in
the ancient ArbyFish anecdotes, had requested that the new Sailor
Earth play a game with her.

	"C'mon," Reenie urged, tugging at the rope, "giddyap!"

	Specifically, the young princess had asked for a 'horsie ride;'
a _wild_ horsie ride, and there existed none that fit the description
better than the recently recruited Senshi.

	"Ehhh, right," Ranma-chan replied, and began to move along
gingerly on her hands and knees, the content little girl on her back.

	"Faster," Reenie ordered.

	Sighing, the cursed martial artist plucked along the ground
at an increased rate.

	"Alright, this is greaaat!"

	Indeed it was, and the experience was nothing short of
phenominal, for the horsie ride was complete with a saddle, bit
and bridle...

	"You don't have to tug so hard..."

	A desert setting...

	"The ground's getting sorta hot, y'know..."

	The midday sun beating down upon them...

	"The glare's getting to me..."

	Cactus...

	"AAH! Owowowowow..."

	Rattlesnakes...

	*HISS!*SNICK*SNICK*SNICK*

	"YOUCH! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!"

	ArbyFish...

	*HISS!*SNICK*SNICK*SNICK!* "Oh, 'ello, madam!" *Munch*Munch*

	"Yaaaah! Make it stop!" Reenie shouted, trying to brush the
odd thing out of her hair.

	Ranma-chan was about to continue her shouts of agony... then
she realized that she wasn't in any pain, even from the snake
stuck to her right calf. However, the snake was not her primary
concern right now. Neither was it the cactus spines stuck in her
hands and arms, which were rapidly healing from the Sailor Earth
energy pumping through her. Oddly enough, it wasn't even the
ArbyFish bothering her.

	The main focus was, rather, the fact that storm clouds had
suddenly rolled in, pouring their liquid contents all over the
barren desert. Again, though, it was not the clouds, nor the rain
that she was most worried about.

	One might ask what was so worrisome to a boy-turned-girl-
turned-hyper-powered-warrior-for-love-and-justice, considering
how much she had endured and surpassed in the past.

	One might also answer that it was the seventy story-high
wall of water headed directly for her.

	*WHOOOOOOAAARRRRRR*

	"Ooooh," Reenie said in awe at the tremendous flash flood.

	"Aye loikes it," Arby said, and clamped firmly onto one
of the pink puffs of Lil' Mucus's hair with his front flippers.

	"Okay, no problem," Ranma-chan said, removing the bridle
and taking Small Lady off of her back and into her arms. The
wave was still several hundred feet away. "Now, if I could
remember that teleport trick Venus showed me..."

	The ArbyFish raised a flipper, keeping a firm grip on
Reenie with his other. "Aye rememba'!"

	The sailor-suited girl looked down at him. "Okay, how?"

	The greenish seal-thing cleared his throat. "Well, ya
see... Ya'z gots ta..." He paused, looking toward the approaching
deluge. "Oh, look! There's 'Abberjug n' Willywug! 'Aven't seen
'em in _years_!" He looked at the redhead. "Aye gots ta go take
me revenge for years a' trial n' torment. Be back in a bit."

	*Splash!* With that, Arby dove into the water, somehow managing
to leave Reenie and Ranma-chan confused enough to merely stand there
as the flood overtook them...

...

	Meanwhile, in the Royal Crystal Tokyo Salon, Neo-Queen Serenity
and four Inner Senshi were getting haircuts...

	"Just a trim and styling, please," Neo-Queen Serenity said
to the hairstylist.

	"Like, okay!" the orange-headed hairstylist, Kim, squealed in
delight, getting out a spray bottle, a comb, and a pair of scissors,
stylin' away like there's no tomorrow.

	*Snip*Swish!*Snip* Four other girls, Kimmy, Kimmus, Kim-Kim,
and Kimmaeus, each of whom looked _exactly_ like Kim, joined in the
conquest over the rebellious hair of the Senshi.

	If you were to ask the scissors, they'd insist it was a mere
police action, but...

	*Shing!* The primary hairstylist accidentally severed Neo-Queen
Serenity's right pigtail.

	"Aaah!" Kim blushed crimson. "Um, eh heh... Sorry."

	The Queen, the Senshi, and the various Kims looked in shock at
the fallen hair.

	Mercury gasped as she took notice of this.

	Mars frowned.

	"Uh oh," Jupiter muttered.

	"I never thought I'd live to see the day..." Venus bubbled.

	Serenity sat for a moment, then looked back at Kim. "You...
You can fix that, right?"

	Kim nodded emphatically. "Yes, yes, of course!"

	The Queen formerly known as Serena sat straight on her
seat. "Then make it so."

	"Engage, Master Wharf," Venus whispered under her breath in a
stiff tone, forcing a serious expression, "warped factor nine." She
snickered, smiling.

	*RIIIP* Serenity's hairstylist took out a large roll of a
shiny, dark grey material and peeled off a section, then picked up
the pigtail and immediately went to work at it.

	"So," Sailor Jupiter began, "when do we get to redesign the
Senshi 'uniforms?'"

	Neo-Queen Serenity blinked. "Why would we want to do that?"

	*Clip*

	"I don't know," the brunette continued, "maybe because most
of the foes we get are women, and thankfully, most of them aren't
distracted by the... Well, you know. And then there's all that
moral decay stuff we've got to worry about: Like it or not, we're
role models, so I don't know what kind of message we're sending by
spending twenty-four hours a day in something like _this_." She
straightened her 'choker'-style collar for emphasis. "But aside from
that," she tugged at the pink ribbon on the back of her outfit, "this
bow's starting to get to me..."

	"Hmm... It has never been a problem before," Mercury noted.

	*Riiip!*Dab-dab*

	Serenity thought for a moment. "Do you really think we should
change it? I think it's possible, but we've had it like this for I
don't know _how_ long... Should we, even?"

	*Snip*

	"We could always switch to what the Star Lights had," Sailor
Mars suggested sarcastically.

	Jupiter looked at her, forcing Kimmus to readjust her cutting
angle. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

	Mars blinked. "And that's supposed to mean...?"

	*Sniiiiip*

	The brown-haired girl grinned slightly. "Oh, just that you're
the closest one of us to that already. High heels, red skirt... and
that line you used once, 'I'll punish you in my high-heels...' All
you need is leather and a whip, and-"

	*Thwip-PSSH!* Venus whipped out her non-shouted-attack version
of the Love-Me Chain. "There'll be no dissection in the ranks while
I'm queen," she said in a slightly parodied militaristic English
accent, assuming a stern posture on her seat, shifting her Chain
under her arm as a general's baton.

	There was a sudden shout from outside. "Wait! Stop that, stop
that!" All at once, the ArbyFish fluttered in, dragging a dripping
wet pink-haired girl behind him by the rabbit-ears. "They'll be no
meta'phors here! This's a no meta'phor zone!!!"

	"...Arby?!" everyone present exclaimed, excluding Reenie. The
way Arby said it was more of a mocking sort of tone.

	"In-deed!" Arby said, flinging Lil' Mucus onto Neo-Queen
Serenity's lap and fluttering over to sit on Sailor Venus's head.
"Aye find you all guilty of breaking the code of conduct, Sect'n
Twoice n' 'Alf Ova' Again," he continued, marching back and forth
across Venus's head, "moy punishment will be swift. You will all be
sentenced to twelve n' a quarter-"

	"Not...so...fast!" a black cat with a crescent moon on her
forehead said, her voice only slightly muffled by the purple-furred
kitten she was carrying in her mouth by the scruff of the neck.

	"There he is," Diana said, pointing out Arby, "that's the one
who did it!"

	The ArbyFish suddenly leapt up into the air. "Nope, nope, nope!
Ya can't prove anything!"

	"We'll see," Luna growled, still holding her kitten with her
jaws as she leapt up in an attempt to snag the seal-like creature
with her claws. On her third jump, she got her claws within a mere
millimeter of the elusive ArbyFish, when suddenly...

	"Not...so...fast!" a brown-haired man in a black trenchcoat
shouted as he entered, dragging in behind him a yellow-haired former
Nemesian pilot named Jane. "I am Inspector What's-All-This-Then,
and I-"

	"Inspector What's-All-This-Then of the Yard?!" Diana, Luna,
and Arby said in surprise.

	The Inspector nodded, and continued, "I have been informed
of a certain-"

	*Snick* The lights went out.

	There was the sound of scuffling, followed by a gunshot.

	*Snick* The lights went back on.

	Arby, Luna, Diana, Jane, and What's-All-This-Then lay dead
on the floor.

	The ArbyFish sat up. "Ha-ha! Ya'll neva' catch me aloive!"
He glowed momentarily with a green aura, and sped out of the room
at a phenomenal rate. "The 'Shroom Empoya' will live on!"

	One by one, the rest of the 'dead' individuals got up and
followed in hot pursuit of the escapee.

	Everyone remaining stared... Well, except for Reenie, who
was gibbering incoherently.

	Sailor Venus cleared her throat. "Anyway, as I was saying..."
She held her Love-Me Chain under her arm like a military baton.
"There'll be no dissention within the ranks."

	Sailor Mars decided to let the topic go.

	"Oh, and speaking of that," Jupiter added, "the ranks, I mean.
I wanted to go and talk to Sailor Earth--you know, Ranma, but I
checked around and couldn't find her room listed _anywhere_." She
looked at Neo-Queen Serenity. "Where'd she finally get to sleep?"

	The Queen looked up from her daughter. "That's a good
question..." She frowned. "I don't know."

	"_Did_ she ever get to sleep?" Mars asked.

	"Oh, of course she did," Venus said.

	"Where?" Mercury queried.

	Venus grinned. "Over at my place."

	There was silence for a time, save for the occasional snip
of scissors.

	"What?" the blonde asked innocently.

	Mercury turned toward her. "There is... one surface in your
home that could be readily used to sleep in-"

	"That huge, red, heart-shaped bed!" Mars cut in, scandalized.
"How long has this been going on?!"

	Serenity looked sideways at the Senshi commander. "Mina...?"

	Jupiter raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Perks of leadership,
eh?" She chuckled, shaking her head.

	*Snip* "Could you please hold still?" Kimmus pleaded, trying
to keep up with the cranial motions. "Thanks."

	Sailor Venus looked back at them, not blinking or breaking her
grin. "I know what you're thinking... and you're _wrong_. There's no
two ways about it." She straightened. "It just so happens I lent her
my room, while I spent the nights out spiking tequila with friends."
She paused, then giggled, blushing. "Oh, did I say that out loud?"

	"That's... very encouraging," Jupiter said. "And just who are
these friends you've been going out with...?"

	"Why, the Black and Decker ArbyFish Clans, of course!"

	Everyone present except for Mina winced, shuddering.

	"Oh, _them_," Jupiter whispered.

	"Hey, at least it wasn't the _Purple_ ArbyFish Clan," Venus
added with a shrug. "And all the Blue ones ever did was muck about
in the water, having a good time..."

	"And here I thought Saint Patrick drove all the ArbyFish out
of Crystal Tokyo," Reenie muttered, her left eye twitching.

	"No, wait, didn't Saint Patrick drive all the elephants out of
India?" Venus asked.

	"It was ArbyFish," Reenie insisted.

	The blonde youngish-looking Senshi shook her head. "Elephants,"
she said, pointedly waving her index finger at the pink-haired girl.

	"ArbyFish."

	"Elephants!"

	"ArbyFish!"

	"ELEPHANTS!"

	"ARBYFISH!"

	"ELEPHANTS!!!"

	Reenie stood up on her mother's lap, closed her eyes, drew in
a deep breath, opened her mouth wide, and yelled at Sailor Venus,
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSH!!!"

	Venus blinked, leaving Kimmaeus to puzzle over her customer's
now-blown-back hair. "Wow... I sit corrected."

	Neo-Queen Serenity pulled the little girl back down. "Small
Lady..." she said, not sounding at all happy about the outburst.

	Reenie looked up at her. "Someone _has_ to get history right,
Mommy!" She sighed. "I mean, if people can't remember stuff as
simple as Saint Patrick banishing talking, mutated cats from the
planet Earth-"

	"I still say he was the Pied Piper of India," Venus muttered.

	*Brush-Brush*

	Mars shut her eyes and groaned. "Mina... Reenie... Saint
Patrick drove all the _snakes_ out of _Ireland_!"

	Mina paused, thinking over Mars's statement, then giggled.
"Oh, yeah, that's right..."

	*Snip*

	Sailor Jupiter shook her head. "Some people never change..."

	Reenie was about to make a retort to Mars's statement, when
a thought stirred in her cute little oversized head. "Mommy," she
began, looking up at Serenity, "when I grow up, can I have a dress
like Ranma's? I like the colors and-"

	"Of course you can," the Queen replied, "_if_ you behave..."

	Jupiter frowned. "Wait a second... Where _is_ Ranma?"

	"Oh, she's off babysitting Small Lady," Venus said.

	"...Babysitting?" Mercury asked. "What about-"

	Venus nodded. "That's right, I fired that old 'Poppins' bag
and assigned Ranma to look after Reenie."

	"YOU DID WHAT?!?!" three Inner Senshi and one Queen shouted,
standing.

	"Back... _down_," four hairstylists urged, pulling their
charges to their previous seats.

	Sailor Venus shrugged. "I figured Ranma needed something to
occupy her time with besides all those boring katas... And besides,
Setsuna said it'd be a good idea." She paused. "Of course, then
she started laughing maniacally, but..." She frowned as she suddenly
remembered something crucial. "But... if Reenie's _here_, then..."

	Neo-Queen Serenity looked urgently down at her daughter. "Small
Lady, where is Ranma?"

	*RIIIP!*dab-dab* Kim applied more duct tape to Serenity's
previously removed pigtail.

	Reenie shrugged. "We were playing horsie in the desert, then
this big wave came, and..." She frowned. "Then Arby dragged me off."

	"Which desert?" Serenity asked.

	"I forget... It was south, I think. But it just had a big flash
flood..."

	Mercury suddenly turned toward them.

	"Aaah! Don't _do_ that," Kimmy gasped, barely avoiding a rather
nasty styling mishap.

	"I'm sorry," the blue-haired woman replied to her hairstylist,
then slowly, carefully looked back at Serenity. "I have been keeping
close track of the weather... and there should not have been a single
drop of rain anywhere near the southern deserts."

	"Ah," Venus said, "then someone with water powers must have
caused it!"

	"Let's not jump to any conclusions," Mercury said, then paused
and glanced around. "But... has anyone seen Sailor Neptune?"

	"Don't try to shift the blame. We all know you did it," Venus
grinned. "You were jealous of her from the start."

	Mercury raised an eyebrow, looking at her quizzically, then
continued, "As a matter of fact, I have not seen any of the Outer
Senshi since this morning..."

	"Whatever you're trying to imply," Mars said, "get to the
point."

	"Hmmm," Serenity began, "I think I know what she's getting at."

---

	Lightning flashed amongst the black clouds as the sailor-suited
girl dragged herself out of the filthy, muddy river. Rain continued
unabated around her, quickly washing away the dirt, leaving her fuku
its normal white and pink color.

	Ranma silently thanked her bowl of lucky charms that Happosai
was blown away. If _he_ saw her like this...

	The cursed martial artist then briefly considered the
possibility that the dead can see you anywhere, anyway...

	"Ugh," Ranma grimaced, considering the implications, and
shuddered. "Reenie!" she called.

	There was no response, save for the roaring of rushing water,
the fall of rain, and the crashing of thunder...

	The drenched redhead's expression darkened. "SMALL LADY!"

	Nothing.

	"PRINCESS SEREEEENAAA!!"

	No response.

	"REENIEEEEEEE!!!"

	Still nothing.

	"...LITTLE MUUUCUUUUS????"

	Ranma collapsed to her knees in the soily muck, her eyes wide
in shock and realization at what must have happened. "She's gone,"
she whispered.

	The girl whom she had been commanded to protect was gone;
swept away into a watery grave... Gone forever.

	Never again would Ranma hear sweet little Reenie's voice...
Never again would she-

	All of the sudden, that thought was cut off by a chorus of
angelic singing...

	*Aaaaaaaaaah...*

	A pillar of light fell upon the sailor-suited girl.

	*Aaaah-aaah-aaaah..."

	Ranma looked up and saw...

	*AAAAAAAH!* ...a tremendously huge, beautiful, majestic
chocolate parfait! It levitatated a few dozen meters above a dark
stone castle in the distance...

	Without any hesitation, Ranma stood, and sprinted off toward
the castle, faster than the poor traction of the muddy ground should
have allowed.

	It wasn't any surprise that she did this, really, considering
the fact that she hadn't eaten in over a week...

	Within seconds, she had traversed the distance to the
castle, crossed the hedged courtyard, and-

	*RIIP!* Her brooch caught on a rather sturdy--too sturdy,
actually--stone cupid statue, and remained there, hanging from the
bow and arrow assembly by a thin, pink ribbon.

	Ranma didn't even look back at the magical device, and took no
notice of her de-transformation sequence, which left her clothed in
her long-sleeved red chinese shirt and black pants.

	She slowed considerably, but made it to the large, wooden
double castle doors, quickly becoming soaked by the heavy downpour.

	*KNOCK-KNOCK!* The formerly sailor-suited girl pounded on
the door, and yanked on the massive, unyielding titanium handle.
"OPEN UP!" she shouted. "C'MON, PLEASE! OPEN UP-"

	*SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!* A cauldron of hot, seething
cheeseless macaroni poured down upon... him, reversing his curse's
bodily modification.

	The door pulled inwardly open, and Ranma fell in...

...

	The rather handsome, muscular, drenched black-haired boy
slipped inside the castle, rolling in on a pile of macaroni.

	"Huh. No cheese," the boy whispered, examining the food
product, then looked up, and beheld...

	"Hello," a group of perhaps a dozen beautiful women in
white, robe-like outfits greeted him, smiling deeply.

	Ranma climbed out of the macaroni and stood on his feet,
his hair dripping with the remnants of the recent deluge.

	"Welcome," another woman added, coming forward. She was
approximately 5'4" with shoulder-length purplish-black hair.
"Welcome, gentle sir, to the Castle..." She paused in thought,
then nodded. "Welcome to The Castle."

	Ranma blinked. "The... Castle?"

	The woman nodded sadly. "It's not a very long name..."
She brightened. "But we are nice, and will tend to your every,
_every_ need."

	"You've... got the... icecream here?" the young man asked.

	"The what?"

	"You know, the big, chocolate parfait-"

	The woman took Ranma by the arm and started leading him
away. "Oh, but you are tired and must... rest, yes, rest a
while." She looked to the other women gathered around. "Haruka!
Michiru!" she called, maintaining a pleasant expression.

	"Yes, Hotaru?" a tall, short-haired blonde and a shorter
aqua-haired woman approached. They were attired in white outfits
similar to those worn by the others.

	"Prepare a bed for our guest," Hotaru ordered.

	The other two smiled. "Thank you. Thank you, oh, thank you!"

	The black-haired woman waved them off. "Away, away!"

	Haruka and Michiru nodded, slowly backing off, their eyes
full of gratitude.

	Ranma stared after them. "Those two look so familiar..."

	"Anyway," Hotaru continued, snuggling closer against his
shoulder, "the beds here are warm and soft... and very, _very_
big."

	Ranma wasn't quite sure how to deal with this. "Well, look,
I... I, uh-"

	Hotaru stopped, turned, and looked into his eyes, obviously
very enchanted at what she saw. "What is your name, handsome?"

	The martial artist _still_ didn't quite know what to make
of the situation. "Ranma. Ranma Saotome..." He paused, giving
himself a second to think. "No! Saotome Ranma."

	The woman's smile deepened slightly, before she let go
of Ranma and looked down at her feet. "Mine's Hotaru. Just...
call me Hotaru." She once again took Ranma's arm. "Oh, but
come!" She began to walk off with him again.

	"L-look, please," Ranma stuttered, "I haven't eaten
anything since... I don't know. Where's that parfait I-"

	Hotaru looked at him. "Oh, but you have suffered much.
You are delirious!"

	Ranma blinked. "I saw it... It's upstairs in-"

	The woman drew back, looking deeply hurt. "Ranma! You
would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality!"

	"Well, I, uh... That is-"

	Hotaru sighed. "But... Oh, I'm afraid our life must seem
very dull and quiet compared to yours..."

	Ranma looked around. It was indeed peaceful... Too peaceful,
in fact. What could possibly be wrong with this picture...?

	A thought bubble appeared over his head.

	*WHAM!* {RANMA NO BAKA!!!} a black-haired girl in a blue
dress shouted, passing through the bubble and slamming a mallet
into his head.

	*WHACK!* {Ran-chan!!!} a woman with her brown hair tied back
with a white bow shouted, slamming the flat end of a giant spatula
down onto his head.

	*BAMMM!* {Airen!} a purple-haired girl in a Chinese outfit
called, smiling as she slammed a multicolored, beachball-like
mace onto Ranma's head.

	*THWACKK!* {Ranma-samaaaaa!} a brunette in a black leotard
exclaimed, slamming a white club into his head.

	{Hmph,} a green-haired woman in a black-highlighted sailor
fuku sighed, briefly brandishing her ornate staff, then backing
off, shaking her head. {Why won't you give up?}

	The thought bubble vanished.

	Ranma sighed in utter confusion. "I can't quite place it, but
there's _something_ about this..."

	Hotaru continued to lead him by the arm, up a flight of
stone stairs. "We are but eight score young blondes, brunettes,
bluettes, violettes, and redheads, all between physical ages of
sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no
one to protect us..." She shivered against Ranma. "Oooh, it is
a lonely life: Bathing, dressing... undressing... modeling very
exciting fuku designs." She looked at him. "We are just not used
to handsome young men..."

	Some of this information was starting to seep into Ranma's
thick skull. "Ummmm..." And as such, he started to hesitate in
his steps.

	Hotaru urged him on. "Nay, nay..." In another moment, they
made it to an open door, at which Ranma started hesitating again.
"Come. Come." She led him inside. "You may lie here." She indicated
a rather large, king-size bed in the middle of the room.

	Ranma began to protest, but any words he had to share were
interrupted by a sudden, uncontrollable urge to yawn. "Uh, okay,
right..." He climbed onto the bed, and instantly started to doze
off.

	Hotaru gasped. "Oh, but you are wounded!" She pointed toward
the rattlesnake attached to the boy's calf.

	The young man sat up and looked at it. "Eh, it's nothing."

	"Oh, you must see the doctors immediately!"

	Ranma paused, then shook his head and started to climb out
of bed.

	"No, please!" Hotaru pleaded. "Lie down." After Ranma complied,
she looked away and clapped her hands together twice.

	Seemingly out of nowhere, a short, *CUTE* blonde girl,
apparently sixteen years of age, stepped forward and stood on the
right side of the bed. A youngish-looking woman with reddish-brown
hair came to the other side of the bed.

	"Well, what seems to be the trouble?" the blonde asked.

	Ranma blinked at the rather unprofessional-looking pair.
"You're doctors?"

	"Er, well..." Hotaru began, "they have-"

	The short blonde brushed back her somewhat longish hair with
her left hand and held out a handful of diplomas in the other. "An
M.D. from every major medical school this planet has to offer."

	The other doctor frowned, then smiled and said, with a hint
of a New Jersey accent, "I've got a G.E.D." She held up a small
wooden plaque.

	Ranma's shoulders slumped. "Oh... Okay."

	"Come, come," Hotaru said, "you must try to rest." She
turned to the doctors. "Doctor Jade, Doctor Naru, practice your
art." With that, she walked softly out of the room.

	Soft music began to play in the background.

	The two doctors smiled at Ranma.

	"Please try to relax," Doctor Naru said, suddenly attempting
to stifle her grin.

	Doctor Jade leaned in, placing a hand on Ranma's chest.

	Ranma slinked back against the bedpost. "Uhhhh, is that...
Do you have to do that?"

	"We must examine you," the brunette insisted, wrapping her
hand around Ranma's calf.

	"Er, um, th-there's nothing wrong with that. Really," Ranma
said, then broke off as Doctor Naru removed the rattlesnake.

	"Please. We _are_ doctors," the cute blonde doctor added in
a soothing, almost seductive voice as the lights dimmed. She leaned
in closer.

	Ranma couldn't take it anymore. He shot out of bed and backed
up against the wall. "Alright, look, I know what you're-"

	"Back to bed," Naru ordered.

	"I-I just came to get that ice cream I saw, and-"

	"No ice cream here," Doctor Jade noted.

	Ranma looked around frantically. "I know I saw it!" He spied
a curtained doorway, and flung it open. "Aha! I knew I would..."
He broke off, and it was pretty obvious why.

	"Hello..." a large number of attractive females in varying
states of undress greeted, smiling _very_ deeply.

	"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
pretty much summed up what Ranma had to say. He then caught sight
of a purplish-black-haired woman in a very skimpy sailor fuku:
Basically a Senshi outfit with everything from the top of the skirt
to just below the chest bow edited out, and a sharp reduction in
the rest of the material used for the other sections. "Hotaru...?!"

	The woman stepped forward, escorting Ranma away from the
rest of the girls. "No, I am Hotaru's twin sister, umm... Firefly,
yes! That's it." She nodded, continuing to smile as she assumed
a very close escort position.

	"Well, um, sorry for just kind of..." Ranma began, then
paused, thinking something over. Finally, he nodded, and tried
to pull free of Firefly's grasp. "Excuse me, I-"

	"Where are you going?" Firefly asked, staying very close.

	"I... t-think I should go look for that parfait," Ranma
stuttered.

	Firefly paused, then frowned deeply, looking down. "Oh no..."
Her expression grew to shock. "Oh no! Bad, BAD Hotaru!"

	"...What?" Ranma asked.

	The scantily clad woman let go of Ranma, and walked a few
steps. "Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, _evil_ Hotaru..." She looked
at the young man. "She has been setting alight to our beacon,
which, I have just remembered, is icecream-shaped." She looked
down. "It is not the first time we've had this problem."

	"It... wasn't real?" the black-haired boy asked, frowning.

	Firefly continued to look down. "Oh, wicked, bad, _naughty_,
evil Hotaru!" She looked into Ranma's eyes. "She is a bad person,
and _must_ pay the penalty!"

	Firefly paused, and looked away. "Do you think this scene
should have been cut? We were _so_ worried when Ben was writing
it..." She smiled. "But now, we're glad. It's better than some
of the previous scenes, I think."

	"'Least moine wuz confusin'," Arby noted.

	"Hey," 'Tim said, "mine had _great_ explosions. It wasn't
just copying off some movie script that guy found somewhere."

	Piccolo growled. "Well, get on with it!"

	Kakkorotto nodded. "Yes... Get on with it!"

	"YES! GET ON WITH IT!!!" an army of several thousand Oneshot
Senshi from chapter twenty-five shouted, waving their assortment
of magical tools.

	Firefly snuggled up against Ranma. "Oh, I _am_ enjoying this
scene!"

	GET... ON WITH IT!!!

	"That's the only hint _I_ need," Firefly added with a grin,
turning to face a very confused-looking Ranma. "Oh, wicked,
_wicked_ Hotaru... Oh, she _is_ a naughty person, and must pay
the penalty, and here in the Castle, we have but one punishment
for setting alight to the parfait-shaped beacon..." The buxom
woman leaned in yet closer. "You must tie her down to a bed...
and _spank_ her."

	"A spanking! A spanking!" all of the other girls exclaimed
gleefully.

	Firefly nodded, her expression becoming very serious. "You
must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal
with her as you like. And then..." She paused, then smiled.
"Spank _me_!"

	"And me," Michiru said.
	"And me," Haruka added.

	Firefly looked at Ranma. "Yes, yes! You must give us _all_
_good_ spanking!"

	"A spanking! A spanking!" the women cried out in joy.
"There is going to be a spanking tonight!"

	"And then," Firefly continued, "the bed martial arts."

	"Bed martial arts! Bed martial arts!"

	If none of that _other_ stuff caught Ranma's attention, _that_
did. "Well, I guess I could stay a _little_ longer..." he said
quietly, a grin coming to his face.

	Firefly nodded, grinning just as deeply as she started to
lead Ranma away.

	"...Ranma!?" someone called.

	Ranma looked back. "Oh, hi, Serenity."

	Neo-Queen Serenity looked at him for a moment, then shook
her head, a frown coming to her face. "Quick!" she called, coming
between Ranma and the scantily-dressed females.

	"What?" Ranma asked, feeling really quite relaxed at the
moment.

	"Quick!" the queen repeated, pushing the boy back, away from
Firefly.

	"Umm... Why?" Ranma questioned.

	Serenity narrowed her eyes and brought out her wand,
preparing to defend herself and Ranma, if necessary. "You're in
_great_ peril!"

	"No he isn't," Firefly interjected.

	"Silence, foul... temptress!" Serenity shot back, enraged.

	Ranma blinked. "Hey, she's not a-"

	The queen forced him back further. "Come on! I'll cover
your escape!"

	"I'm fine!" Ranma protested.

	"Come on!" Serenity urged, moving back amidst the swarm
of beautiful women.

	"Raaaanmaaaa!" the girls called.

	Ranma stopped. "No, look, Queen Serenity, I can take 'em!"

	"Yes, let him take us!" Firefly said.

	"Yes! Let him take us!" the girls insisted.

	Serenity shook her head, backing up. "_No_, Ranma. Would
you hurry up?!"

	"No, really," Ranma added, "I can handle them!"

	"Oh, yes!" Firefly exclaimed. "Let him handle us!"

	"Yes! Let him handle us!" the other advancing women repeated.

	"No!" Serenity shouted, and said back to Ranma, "Quick...
Quick!!!"

	"Please!!!" Ranma urged desperately. "I can beat 'em! There's
only a hundred and sixty of them!"

	"Yes, he will beat us easily," Firefly said, coming closer,
"we haven't a chance!"

	Finally, Neo-Queen Serenity and Ranma reached the door...

	"He will beat us _easily_!" the horde of girls added.

	*THWAM!* The Queen threw the door open and slammed it behind
her as she and Ranma exited.

	Firefly (Hotaru) sighed, slumping into a kneeling position
on the floor. "And here I thought we were going to get away with
it..."

	Haruka put a hand on Hotaru's shoulder. "Better luck next
time."

	"But why does _Setsuna_ get him?" Hotaru pouted.

	"We are not meant to know," Michiru added.

...

	As soon as the queen and the martial artist got out,
Serenity breathed a sigh of relief. "It looks like I was just in
time... Do you realize what kind of peril you were in?!"

	Ranma folded his arms, narrowing his eyes. "I... don't think
I was in _any_.

	Serenity looked sternly at him. "Oh, yes you were. You were in
_terrible_ peril..."

	The black-haired young man pointed toward the door. "Look,
just let me go back and face that 'peril.' Ranma Saotome _never_
runs away from a challenge." He paused. "Well, not the second time...
Usually."

	"No," the blonde woman replied in a firm tone, closing her
eyes. "It's too... _perilous_!"

	"Hey, it's my job to... sample as much peril as I can!"

	"You're just not getting it, are you? Let's go. Come on..."

	Ranma looked downtrodden. "Oh... Can't I just have a
_little_ peril for once in my life!?"

	"No," the queen snapped, "it's _wrong_! It's... peril!"

	"You really like that word, don't you?"

	Serenity sighed and sat down by the cupid statue, then noted
the brooch hanging off of the arrow. "Ranma, Ranma... What am I
going to do about you?"

	Ranma had been looking back anxiously at the door. He stopped
and turned toward her. "What do you mean?"

	The woman took the Sailor Earth brooch off of the statue. "The
Outer Senshi have, shall we say, 'looser' rules than the Inners. It
has been that way for as long as I can remember... but you are an
_Inner_ Senshi, Ranma!"

	"Great," Ranma muttered, turning away, "first the sailor fuku,
now dumping more rules on me, and-"

	"You _agreed_ to this," Serenity said, "or have you
forgotten?"

	"Yeah, but that was just 'cause you wouldn't..." the martial
artist broke off when he noticed something: He was a guy... and Neo-
Queen Serenity only met him as a girl...

	"I wouldn't what?" Serenity asked.

	Ranma suddenly turned back toward her. "Umm... I'm a... guy
right now. How-"

	"It's nothing I haven't seen before," the pigtailed woman said.

	The martial artist blinked. "Oh..."

	The queen nodded. "The Star Lights, for example, took a male
appearance while not fighting. I won't bore you with why, but they
did." She sighed. "But... I keep thinking of you as Terra, and I
shouldn't expect you to have the same attitude... or values, for
that matter..."

	"Hey... What's all that supposed to mean?"

	Serenity looked him in the eye. "It means that for some reason,
I feel that you are somehow... desecrating Terra's memory for taking
a form like that; for _corrupting_ her apperance into-"

	"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ranma said, waving his hands in front of
him wildly. "It ain't like that at all!"

	The Queen looked down at the brooch she held in her hand, a
tear falling down her left cheek. "But that is what it feels like...
to _me_." Shs shook her head. "And what it looked like you were going
to _do_ with all those-"

	"I could... change back," Ranma offered, "y'know, if it'd make
you feel better..."

	Serenity looked up at him and sniffled slightly. "You'd do
that for me?"

	"Uh... Sure! I mean... why not?"

---

	Just outside a pair of titanic metal doors, blue-suited workers
hurried to unload the crates they had been ordered to deliver to this
position. Many had been brought in already, and they sat stationary
near the doors.

	"Put that one over there," Sailor Pluto said, motioning with
her staff. She paused, looking at one worker. "What do you think
you're doing?"

	The worker in question, a teenage male, had the lid of a
crate half-off, and peeked into it.

	*SQUEARRRK!!!* Something inside of the crate made a horrific
sound, throwing the boy several meters away.

	"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" the boy screamed, his eyes wide and
unseeing, as his body erupted into wild convulsions.

	"See to him," Pluto snapped at another worker, "and close that
lid!"

	*Scree...* A noise from another crate sounded.

	*Scraaaaw*

	*Pykaaaaah*

	A rapid series of clicks and other primitive modes of
communication occurred.

	*PYKAAA!*WHUMPWHUMPWHUMP!!!* The largest of the crates began
vibrating, wobbling across the ground, bright light shining through
the cracks between the wooden boards.

	"TIE THAT DOWN!" the Time Guardian screeched.

	A few workers with ropes approached, hurriedly lashing
the crate to a post.

	The worker that attended to the victim of what was
contained in the crates held the boy in her arms and looked
with horror at Sailor Pluto. "What... what are you doing with
these?!"

	The green-haired woman glared at her, lips drawn back. "That
is _not_ for you to know... Now complete your task!"

	Many of the volunteer laborers looked at each other. What
sort of diabolical plot could Sailor Pluto be planning with all
these creatures!?

^^^

	Jadeite-chan sighed, tugging at her white sailor-blouse as
she walked through the corridors of the subterranean base.

	"Four thousand channels," she muttered to herself, "five
million holographic simulations, and a billion databases with
information beyond belief..." She growled cutely, turning to
a computer panel on the wall, which read 'Access Denied.'

	The blonde narrowed her eyes. "And _all_ of it has security
lockouts!" She turned away. "I simply try to... borrow _one_
starship, and the central computer goes ballistic!"

	[Hi there! If you like, I have a very nice modeling program
that you're cleared for,] the structure's main computer offered
in an overly helpful voice, which switched to a higher pitch in
the next sentence, [You could try on all sorts of _cute_ dresses
and-]

	"Shut... up," Jadeite-chan growled.

	The computer squeaked. [Hey, it sounded like a good idea to
me!]

	The supernaturally cute girl gritted her teeth, and proceeded
to tell the infernal machine, in excruciating detail, precisely what
she thought of its idea, its probable mechanical ancestry, and its
personal habits during any downtime it might have.

	[...Oh my! A young lady like yourself should not be speaking
so harshly. What would 'Tim say?]

	"Knowing him, he'd probably agree with me and smash your
core into a thousand fragments with an axe, like he did last time!"

	[Oh dear...]

	Since the... incident a week ago, "Jade" had crystalized her
fear of the unstable computer system into a healthy dislike. She
had often in the past prided herself on her intelligence, and was
not about to let fear get the best of her.

	Then again, once bitten, twice shy.

	Jadeite-chan slapped the instant palm-scanning panel just
outside the door to her room and stepped inside once it opened.

	Despite the bedroom's cutesy appearance, she greeted it with
relief. At her request, her current benefactor, 'Tim Knight, had
removed--ripped and torn, actually--all of the computer's voice
functions and sensory devices from the entire area. He seemed
very determined about it, and very thorough.

	Of course, then he had called one of those maintenance droids
in to piece the place back together when he was done, so there
was really no guaruntee that all of the computer's influence was
completely gone.

	Still, she considered, it had been a nice gesture... Too
nice, actually. Any force that had the capability to rescue her
from the high-security of a Negaversal Dark Kingdom direct-to-
Metallia execution-sacrifice couldn't possibly be a fighter for
the forces of good...

	Jadeite-chan went over that last train of thought... and
found that it left much to be desired. Rubbing her temples, she
sat down on her fluffy, pink-highlighted bed... then stopped as
she noticed an odd texture to the quilt.

	Standing, she looked down to see a boy's blue school uniform
laid out at the edge of the bed.

	Jadeite-chan frowned. "What would _that_ be doing here...?"
She stood, tensed for battle as she sensed the presence of another
in the room; one that-

	"Hiya, Jadeite!" a cute girl's voice bubbled.

	Jadeite-chan whirled around to see... herself.

	Before her stood an exact replica of her, down to the short-
yet-threatening-to-grow-longer-and-make-her-look-even-more-cute
blonde hair, wearing one of the many sailor fuku uniforms that the
computer had created for her.

	The replica stood, smiling at her.

	Jadeite-chan stood momentarily in shock, then looked to the
blue uniform on the bed, and back at the replica, narrowing her
eyes. "Paracite... Just what do you think you're doing?!"

	The former general's shapeshifting cousin opened her mouth
to speak, then paused, thinking it over. "Hmm... Are you sure you
want to know?"

	It was Jadeite-chan's turn to puzzle that one out. Why might
Paracite be in _her_ room, using _her_ form, wearing _her_ clothes?
"That's a good point... Actually, I don't think I do."

	Paracite blinked her huge, cute blue eyes. "It's not anything
bad. Those two girls, Serena and Terra, were talking about asking
you to go shopping with them, you know... to get to know you. I
wanted to go along with all of you and get something for you, but I
wasn't sure about what's comfortable and what isn't, so since you're
not supposed to ask a girl her measurements, I decided that the
best thing to do would be go in, use all my spatial glamour skills,

and find out for myself." She tilted her head. "And, it just seems
to me that I've been _waaay_ too insensitive about your... change.
Sure, you put up a brave front and all, but it's obvious you don't
like it. So, I needed a way to empathize with it." She smiled. "And
like the saying goes: You can't understand someone unless you've
worn their shoes and walked around for in them for a little while."

	Jadeite-chan closed her eyes, recoiling. "I told you I didn't
want to know, Paracite..."

	The duplicate pseudo-girl frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

	The other blonde stared at her for a long moment. "You? The
day you, Paracite, do anything really _evil_, that is the day when
Queen Beryl becomes a schoolteacher; It's just not going to happen."

	Paracite smiled. "Oh, thanks."

	Jadeite-chan sighed. "You would have to be the _only_ youma
I know that wouldn't be insulted beyond all comprehension at this
moment."

	"Well, what's so great about evil? I mean... evil's... evil,
right?"

	 Jadeite-chan turned away, muttering, "Stuck as young girl in
a strange land with only the companionship of a raving psychotic..."

	"What was that, Cousin Jadeite?"

	The 'real' girl turned toward the other. "Nothing. Just
leave, I need time to think... and plan." She took the blue school
uniform off the bed and handed it to Paracite.

	"Oh, thanks!" Paracite giggled, taking the outfit. "I'll go
in the back room and change."

	Jadeite-chan's left eye twitched. "I suppose I'll go take
a walk instead." She pushed a button by the door, and exited,
holding her somewhat pained head.

...

	Meanwhile, inside that same somewhat pained head, another force
plotted the active persona's destruction.

	<Almost time...> Guardian Jadeite said to himself in a mental
whisper. <What energy I can control is almost it its peak...>

	At that last thought, he laughed. <I've _really_ got to get
out of here... I'm starting to sound like Nephrite...>

	Inside the random, shifting dreamscape, Guardian Jadeite turned
toward the force that he had found; his best--and indeed only--chance
to regain control and purge the corruption from his soul and body
once and for all.

	The 'pink' presence had grown and become 'brighter' in the
week of Jadeite's preparation. As he had become stronger to control
it, it had in turn become stronger to match his new capabilities.
It was as if he and it were linked somehow...

	Of course, he was linked with practically _everything_ here.
It was _his_ mind, after all. The only thing not directly linked to
him was the corruption: "General Jadeite."

	That... _thing_ had done countless unspeakable acts under his
guise. The general, aside from doing an obnoxiously stupid impression
of him... well, that was quite enough, but... This "General" had
played a significant role in destroying all he held dear. Now, that's
all fine and dandy; political games and a war now and again is pretty
much par for the course in any sort of governmental position... but
using _him_ to help accomplish it...

	Well, that just wasn't very nice!

	<Besides, I think I'm going to miss Mars... She was such a
cute little thing...> Guardian Jadeite paused. <Of course, so was
young Queen Serenity... Assuming the throne just after her mother
died... Her husband departing for realms unknown to find the Ultimate
Anti-Evil Force, or something... I wonder if he ever made it back...>

	Jadeite searched his counterpart's memory.

	<Ah, yes, he did... Found the next-best thing... Gave it to
his adopted daughter, as a matter of fact. Aww... That's so sweet!>

	The 'pink' presence pulsed in response to that line of thought.

	Jadeite took a deep mental breath. He had to remain calm, and
save his strength for the coming attack. If he didn't, he would risk
leaving enough of the general around to find out about him and
retaliate, leaving him even worse off than he was now.

	He did the mental equivalent of a sigh and considered sadly
what he had been brought to: Annihilation of another individual.
Even though the other person was generated by copying and corrupting
him with massive amounts of dark energy, the general _was_ a
distinct personality.

	Guardian Jadeite was not about to just let things go on like
this, however. The calm dreamscape was like a background of Country
and Western music: Not really all that bad once you get used to it,
but play the same song over enough, and it can drive you mad. Still,
this sort of plotting was really no more than premeditated murder.

	But, Jadeite wanted his life back... and felt that his cause
was without a doubt infinitely more righteous than the corruption's.

	So, if he made his move and struck at just the right moment;
the point where the general's mental defenses were at their weakest,
it would at least be over quickly, without undue pain or hurt.

	If he missed that specific point, though, the other mental
resident would likely feel pain beyond everything that had been
experienced before, and agony beyond all comprehension as what
constituted General Jadeite was methodically ripped to shreds over
a period of several hours.

	As much as the guardian disliked what the general had done,
he did not want to be the one to cause such suffering.

	He would wait for the proper moment.

...

[Continued in (2/2)]

----------------------
-Benjamin A Oliver
boliver@U.Arizona.EDU

	 "We are Bored. You will entertain us.
	  We will add your stand-up and slapstick comedy to our own.
	  Your humor will adapt to make us laugh.
	  Resistance is futile."