Sorry for the first screwed up post. I tested it but,
it somehow still went through bad. Oh well. I cleaned
up the miprints and also the verb tense mistakes. I
hope this will make anyone that decides to read this a
second time happier. Oh one more thing. This is a
spoof of Morning TV show. There are no actual
implications that anything in this fic is supposed to
be taken seriously.
I would also like to take this moment to thank a
specail someone. For if it had not been for his help,
I would not have had the desire or sheer compulsion to
do this rewrite. I salute you Lost Lurker, and I only
hope that I can someday repay your kind deed. Someday
soon.
Mihoshi placed her coffee mug down on the table and
began to calm herself down. She keep trying to
remember to just read what's on the teleprompter. The
cameraman gaves her the que and the count down begins.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
"Good Morning everyone, and welcome to the first
installment of Early Morning Coffee with Mihoshi. I'm
your host Mihoshi..."
She paused for a second and began to think out loud.
"They probably already knew that I'm Mihoshi. I am the
first person to be on the show and I am drinking
coffee."
Mihoshi smiled at the screen and then began to speak
under her breath.
"Who else would they show, at three o'clock in the
morning during this crummy time slot and on this stupid
network."
The cameraman began to wave frantically as she pointed
to the telemonitor. Mihoshi looked at her and then to
what she was pointing to.
"Oh yeah, I'll read what it says! =AHEM= Our first
guest is a mad scientist that is planning to take over
the universe some day."
A half-asleep Washu walked up on the stage and plopped
down in the chair.
"What am I doing in here again, it's three in the
morning."
"You said you'd help me out with this show. I need
this job or I'll have to go back to dancing on tables
to pay off my student loan and apartment bills."
Washu opened one of her eyes and sighed. "POUR ME
SOME COFFEE." Mihoshi picked up her GP cube and began
to fidget with it to get a cup of coffee to appear. She then began to read from the telepromter as she
worked on it.
"So Washu, tell me. How hard is it for a single mother
with a child's body to take over the Universe in
today's time?"
Washu looked toward her and then her one eye fell back
closed.
"Yeah... yeah... It's really hard... NOW COFFEE ME!"
Mihoshi began to bang the cube on the table; as she did
an assortment of things fell down behind the two of
them. Washu didn't pay any of the things any attention
as they did: first was a set of files, some computer
diskettes and disks, a typewriter, a cabbit's foot
charm, then Ryo-Ohki, one of Ryoko's gems, a sample
from Tenchi, a dimensional portal that led to the
inside of Washu's lab, and finally a black hole
popped up. Washu cracked open one of her eyes as she
asked if there was some coffee yet. When she fully
opened her eye she saw Mihoshi and everything in the
room being sucked toward the abyss. She quickly
grabbed a hold of her chair and began to scream out.
"WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO DOIN THIS!?"
Mihoshi pulled herself down from the air and caught her
cube as it was begining to pass by her. As she did a
cup of coffee appeared in front of her. However, it
quickly got sucked toward the black hole. Washu let go
of her chair and stretched after the cup.
"THAT'S MINE DANGGIT!"
Both the mad scientist and her cup of joe were sucked
into the hole.
"Washu!!! I could've got another one for you! Oh
well. I think it's time for a commercial, so stay
tuned and we'll be right back.
*****COMMERCIAL TIME*****
=Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo are seen sparring in the
middle of of the floor. The two stop and face the screen.=
"Hello, I'm Master Saotome."
"And I'm Master Tendo."
"We are two of the world's greatest martial artist.
Isn't that right Tendo"
"Right you are Saotome. We have spent all of our lives
honing our skills to reach the point that many martial
artists can only dream of. Our deeds took us many
years to accomplish, and at great painstaking risk."
"That's why we're here to speak to you now."
"Many of you are jumping onto the Kung-Fu fitness
craze. However, to obtain that true level where mind
and body are one, you must be taught by a master of
that level."
"Tendo and I have created a 4 work-out video tape
series that will guarantee you the body that you want."
"For only 4 easy payments of $19.99 you too can obtain
physical and mental perfection."
=The two peddlers continue to talk till they are
interrupted by a familiar voice.=
"GENMA! SOUN! Who told you that you two could call
yourselves masters? You two aren't fit to teach
pre-school students."
"Please forgive us master."
"We meant no harm, we were only looking to make a
little money to... Ah... To??? Help me out here
Saotome."
"To make a big contribution to the (Help Keep Your
Collection Alive fund). Isn't that right Tendo?"
"Ah yes... With every purchase made, we give a dollar
to young women in the vicinity, so that they might have
money to buy more undergarments master Happosai."
"Oh, In that case you two are doing a good thing."
"Thank you master."
"But it'll be a whole lot better if you gave 90% of
your profits to the fund."
"But!!!!'
"What was that? It sounded like you where about to
contradict me."
"No master!!!"
"There goes our money Tendo. We must respect the
master's wishes."
"Even though at times he steal women's undergarments."
"Lots of women! Tendo."
"Lots of times! Saotome."
*****COMMERCIAL FADE TO BLACK*****
Mihoshi is picked up the last of the stuff that got
swept onto the stage by the black hole. She heard
someone calling her, so she turned around to saw the
cameraman waving her arms again.
"You're on!"
Mihoshi quickly jumped back into her hosting chair,
picked up her mug of coffee, and began to smile.
"Welcome back. It's 3:05 and you're watching Early
Morning Coffee with Mihoshi. I, once again, am your
hostess Mihoshi. Before we move on to our next guest,
let's have a moment of silence for our first guess
Washu. Who selflessly closed a black hole for us,
after she had been sucked into it."
Mihoshi paused for about two seconds and then jumped
back into attention.
"Okay, my next two guest are very important people.
One is the crown princess of Jurai and the other is a
intergalactically known space pirate."
Aeka looked to still be in a sleepy daze as she walked
up to the stage. Ryoko looked as if she had been
drinking all night and was feeling the early effects of
a hangover. The two of them were so tired that they
did not even fight with each other as the made their
way to the stage to sit down. Aeka slowly lowered
herself into her chair. Ryoko stood in front of her
chair and toppled backwards into it.
"Okay, welcome to the show you two!"
"Owe! Not so loud, okay. Hey wait a sec, where's
Tenchi?"
"Yes Mihoshi, where is Lord Tenchi. You told us that
he would be here."
"Ah, yeah Tenchi... Well, about him. He really
didn't say that he would come on."
"WHAT!!!"
"He didn't say that he wasn't going to come on either.
When I asked him he was still in bed. I think he's
sleeping on his answer now."
"That does it, I'm leaving."
"Me too. This is an outrage Mihoshi!"
The two of them began to try to get out of their
chairs. They couldnt muster up the energy to get out
up though.
Ryoko tilted her head toward Aeka. The princess did
the same to her.
"Ah... Aeka, could you give me a hand out of this
chair?"
"I was about to ask you the same."
"Look, you two really need to stay seated till you feel
well enough to leave. While you wait, you can have
some coffee and talk to me.
"That may be the wise thing to do. I'll have a cafe
latte."
"Make mine an Irish-coffee, hold the coffee."
Mihoshi reached down to pick up here GP cube from the
table. Just as she was about to touch it, one of he
stagehands ran up with a pot of coffee. He placed it
in front of her and grabbed ahold of her cube. Mihoshi
watched as he ran to the cameraman and handed it to
her.
"Hmph... Tear up one stage and everyone gets all
touchy."
Both Aeka and Ryoko had their eyes closed. They were
hanging in between staying awake and completely falling
asleep. Ryoko had a dribble from the mouth slowly
declining from her mouth. Aeka began to speak, as her
head bobbed up and down.
"Mihoshi, is that coffee ready yet?"
"Ah... Yeah, but I couldn't get you any cafe latte or
Irish-coffee."
"What do'ya got?"
"I'm not sure? It may be European?"
Well that's better than nothing."
Ryoko lifted her head up and looked toward Aeka.
"Did she just say (peed in)."
"Who cares? It's coffee."
Mihoshi handed her two guests their cups of coffee.
She then looked back at the telemonitor and began to
ask one of the questions that it had on it.
"So Aeka, how do you feel about this love triangle that
you and Ryoko are in with Tenchi?"
"What?!"
"I mean the ordeal between you and Ryoko. You both are
constantly after Tenchi, yet he doesn't seem to be able
to pick between the two of you."
"Lord Tenchi is meant to be with me. It is the only
obvious that this will occur."
"Dream on!!!"
Ryoko rubbed the moistness from the side of her face
and lifted her head toward Aeka. She picked up her mug
of coffee and took a sip.
"Hey, what's in this? It taste funny."
"That would be the special European flavoring"
"Did you just say there's PEE IN here?"
"Ah... No, joking about coffee around here can get you seriously hurt. Or just annoyed."
"Look you little stuck up brat, Tenchi is mine. He
promised that he'd even die for me."
"HE NEVER MADE SUCH A PROMISE!"
"How do you know, you weren't there."
"Girls!!! Girls!!! Calm down there is no need for
that. Maybe I should change the topic for you two?"
Mihoshi looked at the telemonitor and read the next
question.
"You both are busy fighting each other off from Tenchi,
but what about the upcoming threat of Sasami winning
Tenchi's heart when she gets older?"
Aeka and Ryoko both looked at each and then began to
fume as they turned back toward Mihoshi. She thought
about what she just said, as she mumbled out, "Uh oh."
The two girls began to scream out in unison.
"SASAMI WILL NOT WIN TENCHI!"
"Ah... I didn't mean it that way. Hey, I didn't even
write that question."
"Listen to me you airhead. Lord Tenchi has no interest
in Sasami or Tsunami. They are not an issue here."
"Hey! I'm no airhead."
"Sure you are if you think my Tenchi-kun is going to be
stolen by Sasami or Tsunami. I don't give a =BEEP= what you think."
"Oops, You can't say that on this network."
"What the =BEEP=?! Who keep beeping me?"
"You can't say that either, sorry."
"I'll say any got =BEEP= thing that I =BEEP= please.
And when I find the person that keeps beeping me, I'm
going to kick their =BEEP=."
Mihoshi looked at Ryoko and her face twitched as she
turned back to the camera.
"Okay, I think it's time for another commercial. We'll
be right back."
*****COMMERCIAL TIME***** (yeah... again)
This Summer there is one great fic to read. This highly anticipation fic will adjoin the greatest work of sci-fi entertainment ever. It was 20 months in the making, and it will be coming to a computer screen near you.
SPOOF WARS Episode 1 =: The Phantom Blemish.
See your favorite anime characters in their most memorable roles:
Yoshu as Qui-Gon Yoshu
Nobuyuki as Nobu Won Kinyuki
Aeka as Queen Aeka
Sasami as Queen Aeka's decoy Sasami
Ryo-Ohki as Jar Jar-Ohki
Happosai as the sinister Darth Happosai
Genma Saotome as Senator Saotome
Soun Tendo as Chairman Tendo
Kagato as lil' Kagato Skywalker
Kiyone as lil' Kagato Skywalker's mother
And featuring Tenchi Muyo as Darth Mauled
(Mark Hammil makes a specail apperence as the guy who sells tickets in the movie theater Ticket Booth)
Hammil: Yeah, I'm working in Star Wars again! WOO!!!
HOO!!!
Marvel at the written special affect, mainly because
you can't see them. This fic is an exclusive for the
Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction Website. The home for all
Tenchi fics.
Come to the site and see the splender that is created
before you. Go now and enjoy, while the clock counts
down the unveiling of SPOOF WARS. The Tenchi Muyo Fan
Fic Archive houses the most Tenchi fic in all of the
web. (not only do I have some there, but so do good
writers) Remember that's www.tmffa.com and one more
thing; GenSao is more than just a panda, he's the
website manager too.
May the copyright be with you!!!
Or you'll get the %$@#^%* sued out of you.
******BACK TO THE TV SHOW*****
Ryoko and Aeka are both bound and gagged when the
monitor turned back on. Mihoshi is hunched back in her
chair, as she knocked out one last cup of saki, to help
her forget that this show ever began. The Stage hand,
picked the two girls up and walked off the stage.
Mihoshi waved bye bye to the lot of them, and blowed a
kiss to the stage hand that managed to get them under
control.
"Thanks Seion. Okay, I only have one more interview to
go and this will all be over."
Mihoshi put down her drink and focused her eyes as she
begins to read off of the telemonitor.
"We're very lucky to have my last guest. He's traveled
a long way to be with us this morning. He is a
renowned swordsman and adventurer. May, I introduce
Gourry Gabriev."
"Thank you, It is a pleasure to be on your show today."
Gourry walked onto the stage and took a seat. He sat
down and immediately began to talk to Mihoshi.
"Hello, Mihoshi."
"Hi'ya"
"Hmm... I was hoping to take this chance to talk about
a very important matter."
Mihoshi looked up toward him and began to pay attention
as for once something seemed to be going right this
morning.
"Please, go on Gourry."
"I have heard that you and I have something in common.
We both suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder. This
is terrible thing for anyone to go through. People see
our blonde hair and our outstanding good looks and
think that we are stupid because of that. My partner
is constantly telling my how stupid I am, but it isn't
me that may make me seem unintelligent. It is my
illness."
"I have the same problem with my partner. It makes me
feel so bad some times."
"You see what I mean" Some people are so insensitive
to our status. 1 out of every 5 children and adults
have ADD. This matter must be brought to the publics
attentions so that understanding their feelings can
occur."
"You are so right!"
Mihoshi looked back at the telemonitor and began to
read.
"Welcome, if you're just tuning in, this is Morning
Coffee with Mihoshi. I am your hostess Mihoshi, and I
have with me Gourry... Ah... Gourry?"
"Gabriev, my last name is Gabriev."
"I'm sorry, please forgive me. I'm here with my guest
Gourry Gabriev. He was just talking about. Ah... what
was it you where just talking about.?"
"I was talking about something? Are you sure? I don't
remember talking about anything. Hey, how much longer
do I have to be here? I want to catch Moldiver when it
comes on."
"What?! Moldiver comes on in the morning now!"
"Yep..."
"Oh... Well that does it for us, I'll be leaving to
watch my favorite show now. Bye..."
The Cameraman was furious, she stepped out from behind
the camera and threw her headpiece on the floor.
"MIHOSHI!!! What are you doing? We still have 10
minutes to go."
"Ah... You worry to much Kiyone. Nobody is watching
this anyway. Think about it. Moldivers on I can't
miss that or... or... or I don't know what I'll do?"
"Why??? What did I do to deserve this? Can you at
least close the show out first?!"
"Okay... Okay..."
Mihoshi sat back down and faced the camera again.
"Well it's time to go now. Join me tomorrow when my
guest will be, Nagi the bounty hunter, Tenchi Masaki,
and Ranma Saotome. Until next time; Don't chase
coffee into blackhole Byeee."
Kiyone sighed as she said cut and killed the camera.
"I have to get up and do this all over again I would
kill to be in Washu's place now."
*****SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF A BLACKHOLE*****
Washu sat quietly as she drank her coffee. She only
sipped and stared off into nothing. Then the little
mad scientist lifted here head and began to speak out
in a slighly crazed tone.
"Mental note. Must remember to kill Mihoshi once I
finish my coffee and get out of this black hole."
Thanks for putting up with this fic. It was mostly
written at 4:00 am in the morning. So I have no idea
what I wrote period. Sorry, but I hope you enjoyed it.
For any of you that sat all the way through to then
end, and didn't enjoy, that wish to get the small
amount of their life back that they just lost; send a
request to:
P.O. BOX 12345
Thatsjusttobad Blvd.
UPYOURS, AL 54321
A friendly sales rep will kindly call you and then put
you on hold forever.
--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--
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