Hey, I'm not a MST writer, but I found this fic to be so funny I had to 
throw some stuff into this...   That's why I called my bud Kami from 
DBZ, the Terminator from (Well, the Terminator), and Lime from Sabor 
Marrinettes J up for a little laughter.  This is not meant to annoy 
the original writer.  Like I said, this started as a C&C, but I 
couldn't stop laughing as I read this.

Okay, I only have about 30 minutes left in my lunch break, can we get 
started with this.  

Lime:  Yay!!!  I get to read...  I get to read... I get to read...

Terminator:  Will you shut up?!

Lime:  You're a big meanie

Kami:  Don't worry about him, he's just jealous because he's also a 
       robot but he doesn't know how to feel love like you can.

Terminator: (sniffles)  It is true I can not feel love.

That's terrible... Anyway, guys I don't have that much time left.  
Could we go ahead and start this.

Kami:  Sure, aren't we suppose to go through some kinda of corridor to 
       get to the fic?

Well...  That's only for real MST writers, I can't afford those 
things.  There's also the Union fees you'd have to pay for setting 
them up.  I would try, but it's to much of a bother.  

GROUP: (Everyone sits down and starts to watch.)

TOUGA: (Overly stimulated.) By the Kami, I have it! I've discovered

the secret of happiness! Meaningless sex!

WHAT!!!  Someone has found out the secret of happiness.  And, now that 
you mention it, there's not much a secret to it.

(DBZ)Kami:  Well that's what got Goku to clam down, but I never told
            either of him or Touga that!  I hate it when people call 
            me out in these situations.

Lime:  What's meaningless sex?  Is is like a blue skys.  They make me 
       happy.

Terminator:  I'll show you what it means later.

Ah... No.  Hey T, could you please not infest her innocent mind with 
that kinda knowledge.  That's Otaru's job.

UTENA: (Sings to herself.) Never gonna hafta to duel aaagain... never
gonna hafta to duel aaagain...

She also talks to herself.  Currently plans are being made to get her 
to the psychiatric ward.  I think the stress of doing the same sword 
removal scene with Anthy over and over again gotten to her.

Kami:  All they have to do find some other way for her to get that 
       stupid sword.

Terminator:  She could always find another weapon to make her a more 
             efficent killing machine.

Lime:  Yeah??? Whatever?

(As she skips along singing she is interrupted by another repetitive
song starting to play. This other repetitive song is otherwise known as

What?! Another crazy person is only footsteps away.  I thought there 
was a crazy person law that said "Only one weirdo every 400 feet.

Terminator:  That Law only exists in 7 of the 50 American States.  In 
             New York the distance is only 400 centimeters.

Kami:  Go fig..

the Sunlit Garden. The various Ohtori students stop to try and figure
out where the music is coming from but when the music keeps playing
they shrug and go about their business. Utena remains frozen.)

Where is that music comming from?

UTENA: (Looks around.) Miki?
CREEPY VOICE: (Rasps.) Utena...

Terminator:  Come with me if you want to live...

Lime:  Knock it off.

(Utena whirls around and comes face to face with Arisugawa Juri who
looks doubly horrified on seeing Utena in a dress.)

YES, SHE'S A GIRL!!!  You may have thought she was just one of those 
fancy boys?

Terminator:  One of the girly men.

Lime:  You mean like Hangata.

Kami:  There's a big difference in this case.

UTENA: (Jumps backwards.) Juri-sempai! Where have you been? I
mean, how have you been? I mean, what?

Kami:  She was about to change into the Masked Avenger, thank goodness 
       she didn't blow her secret identity.

Yes thank goodness she didn't get caught.

JURI: (Stares at her in disgust.) What are you wearing?

Ah... This old thing?

Terminator:  Maybe if she was wearing more visible guns, he would not 
             have made that mistake.

Kami:  You've really got to work on that violence thing.

UTENA: (Brightens and does a twirl.) Don't you like it? I'm wearing it for my Prince. He's finally returned!

Lime:  Prince is in town.  I've heard all his CDs

Kami:  No Lime you're mistaken

Terminator:  Yeah...  He isn't called Prince anymore he is some kind 
             of symble.  I think it is a specail code for destruction.

Guys!!!  Could we stick to the story please?  Ah... The Symble's last CD did rock though.

GROUP: (nods their heads and return to the story)

JURI: (Eyes narrow.) Prince?

Lime:  No it's The Symble...

UTENA: (Smiles widely.) Akio's back! Isn't that wonderful?
JURI: (Mutters lowly.) It's something all right...

Yes Jim...  It's something but I've never seen anything like it 
before.

Kami:  Could you refrain from using Star Trek quotes please.

Oh... sorry.

UTENA: (Hastily.) I'd love to talk more but I'm late for my cooking
class! And I have to be a good cook if I ever want to marry my
Prince!

Now this girl has her head on straight...  Screw todays independant 
woman.  

Terminator:  Yeah, keeping your head straight is an important thing to 
             do.  I once had my head on backward. It was really              embarassing.

Lime:  I've been there before.  Otaru had to fix mine for me.

You two just aren't getting me are you???

Kami: (slaps his palm up against his head)  All of you are stupid, now 
      can we get back to the story...  I have to get back to watching 
      over the world in a minute.

JURI: (Watches Utena run off. Shudders.) I had forgotten just how
strong Akio's brainwashing powers are. They're even stronger than
Touga's. 

(drinking a Coca-Cola) But they're not as strong as Television 
commerical's ability to brainwash people.  It's the real thing.  

Kami:  (takes a bite of a Mars bar) Nothing is that strong.  It's a 
       sticky situation.  Sticky like the best caramel ever.

Terminator: (eats a handful of Applejacks)  Commercials don't 
            brainwash  people into buying things.  We just like 
            them.

Lime: (takes a sip of Sprite)  Yeah, I don't buy sodas becuase of 
      image.  I only obey my thirst.

**********************SOMEWHERE FAR FAR AWAY**************************
 
COMMERCIAL SYNDICATE:  Good, they have no idea of our sisnter scheme, 
                       to brainwash the consumer. MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

**********************************************************************

Oh, how I rue the day that Akio first arrived at Ohtori. (She

Lime:  Rue???  That's a funny word.  RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!!

Terminator:  It means be sorry, regret, curse, depore, grieve, mourn,              or bemoan.

Lime:   RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!!  RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!! RUE!!! 

Kami:  I don't think she's listening anymore?

Guys...  Come on, I've only got 10 mins left in my lunch break

pauses and blinks.) Wait a minute... his name is Ohtori. Ohtori Akio.
(She gasps.) That means Akio is Ohtori! Oh, the horror! Oh, the

Ah... She had to think to catch that?   That's like saying, "His name is Jesse James.  That means Jesse is James..."

Terminator:  Maybe the processor chip in her brain is a 486 model?

Lime:  Otura or Grandpa can upgrade her.

humanity! (She pauses again and looks thoughtful.) Akio's sister is
Anthy but she has a different surname. He's Ohtori Akio and she's
Himemiya Anthy. If they're really brother and sister then why don't
they have the same surname?! (She hits the palm of her hand.)

Because his surname is Ohtori and her's is Himemiya.

GROUP:  Good answer!!!  Good answer!!!

Treachery is afoot! 

Lime:  Is treachery another word for foot

Terminator:  No it is disloyalty, betrayal, treason, but no body parts

I must tell the fencing club! They'll help me, they have to! I'm their Captain!
(Juri runs towards the fencing club while the repetitive music of the
Sunlit Garden continues to play across campus.)

Danggit, more of that music.  Where does it keep comming from?

Kami:  I think its that orchestra that keeps following everyone 
       around.

Orchestra:  Oh...  Sorry.

SCENE: A random lawn in Ohtori Academy. Kiryuu Nanami hangs

>from the top of the flagpole. She is tied up from head to toe in Saran Wrap. 

Kami:  I thought you said this wasn't a lemon.

It isn't suppose to be.  Maybe it just has a few lime scenes in it?

Lime:  I'm in this story?

Terminator:  Negative.

The Sunlit Garden faintly plays in the background.

I thought I told you to stop playing!

Orchestra:  Sorry again...

NANAMI: (Thinks.) I'll get those plebeians for this!

Kami:  Lesbeians???  That would exceed the lime standings.

Lime:  What would exceed where I'm standing?

He may mean Thesbians.  

Terminator:  No...  A Plebeian means common, ordinary, or Poletarian 
             people. 

Lime:  Hehe... Lesbeian, that's a funny word.  LESBEIAN!!! LESBIAN!!!
       LESBEIAN!!! LESBIAN!!! LESBEIAN!!! LESBIAN!!! LESBEIAN!!!

REST OF THE GROUP:  (stare at Lime as she jumps up and down while 
                    screaming out)

Lime: (Looks back at everyone looking at her)  What???

(Suddenly out of nowhere the same Shadowy Figure from episode
eight appears in front of Nanami.)

What???  There was a Star Wars Episode 8 and I missed it!

Terminator:  It came out in the future.  You only have to wait 20 more 
             years to see it.

NANAMI: (Muffled thanks to Saran Wrap.) Wonk!
SHADOWY FIGURE: (Blinks.) What? Oh... allow me to remove
that Saran Wrap for you. (The Shadowy Figure takes the Saran Wrap

She's not wearing anything under it...  WOO HOO!!!

Kami:  If your going to act juvenile, I'm going to have to ask you to 
       leave...

Okay, I'll be good...  

off of Nanami's mouth so she can speak.) Is that better?
NANAMI: (Deep breath.) Thank the Kami!

Kami:  What?  I didn't do anything.  You see how aggrivating that can 
       get.

Well you knew the job was hard when you took it.

SHADOWY FIGURE: (Flattered.) I may be powerful but I'm hardly
the Kami.

Kami:  Of course not...  When it comes down to it, I'm the Man...

REST OF THE GROUP:  You 'da Man!!!

NANAMI: (Irate.) I wasn't talking about you! (She stares at the

Kami:  For once I finally get the credit.

Shadowy Figure.) How is it you're flying?
SHADOWY FIGURE: (Sniffs.) As if I'd really tell you after you were
just rude to me. You should be grateful for all that I've done for you.

Never question a shadowy figure about how he flys.

GROUP: (everyone pulls out a paper and pencil and writes that down)

NANAMI: (Doubly irate.) All that you've done?! You let my ex
cronies and zombie followers capture me! You haven't helped me one
bit!

Lime:  Nope it doesn't sound like he was helping you.

SHADOWY FIGURE: (Folds arms over chest.) I don't think that you
appreciate my help at all. I think that I'll just leave you up here if that's how you're going to treat me.

Man...  He get's his feelings hurt really easy..

Terminator:  His little girly-side must be very emotional.

NANAMI: (Quickly.) No, no! Don't do that! I didn't mean it! I'm
sorry... I really am. Just don't leave me up here! I need to get down 

She must need to go to the bathroom?

GROUP: (Nods)

so I can get my revenge!

Oh.. or she has a blood renching desire for revenge...

SHADOWY FIGURE: (Brightens.) Does that mean you'll be joining
me in the great cause? Because I've come up with just the evil plan for you exact revenge with!

Yes puppet...  I come up with the plan and you dance for me...

Terminator:  that should be "for you TO exact revenge"  no one likes a 
             supper villian with poor grammar.

Lime:  If he just (Brightened), is he still a SHADOWY FIGURE?

Kami:  Hmm...  Good question.

NANAMI: (Looks intrigued.) And what evil plan is that?
SHADOWY FIGURE: (Deep breath.) Weeell...

Yeah Brain...  What scheme will we use to take over the world.

Terminator:  Shut up!  He's at the point where the bad guy reveals his 
             evil scheme, that will be foiled at the end of the next 
             episode.

(As the Shadowy Figure launches into the evil plan for Nanami to
exact revenge with the scene fades to black.)

To be continued...

GROUP:  OOoooohhhhh Maaannnnn!!!!

Terminator:  I hate it when they do that!

All characters in this spamfiction are from Utena. This is a nonsensical
out of character piece of tripe that I wrote when extremely bored. I
shall continue to write this series when I'm extremely bored because
sometimes I just don't feel like making the effort to write things in story
format and sometimes I just feel like being silly. In other words don't
take this stinky poo seriously. It's just for fun. And yes, this was
partially inspired by DDFA's Waiting For Minako series.

Yes blame someone else....

Bye guys... And thanks for wasting your time with me.  Next time I'll 
have chairs for you to sit in while we watch the story. 

I hope you don't mind the MST'ing of your fic...  I really liked it 
and meant no offense with this.  I hope to see the next chapter soon, 
so I hope you remain bored for a little bit longer, so that you can 
crank it out faster.  

Bye


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