Subject: [FFML] [ranma][alt][revised] Surreal Genius 6b
From: Brendan
Date: 5/30/1999, 12:46 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

	In an unlit room, a telephone was ringing.  Then a light was 
turned on, revealing Ranma lying on a small cot massaging his forehead 
as he sat up.  Glancing at the near antique black phone by the lamp he 
had just turned on he picked up the headpiece and informed it "What?"
	"Ranma, listen to me.  You have to call Nabiki, NOW!"  Noriko 
replied.
	Frowning, Ranma held down the button in the cradle, then 
reached down and started to input the Tendo's number in the rotary 
dial.  *Note to self, get a touch-tone phone for here.*  He had thought 
this every time he had to use the outdated machine.  Which averaged to 
about once every two months.
	"Moshi-moshi." Kasumi's voice stated over the line.
	"Yes Noriko said I had to call your sister?"
	"Oh yes, just a second."  He could just hear Kasumi call for 
Nabiki, telling her who had called.
	"Ranma?"  It took Ranma a moment to recognize Nabiki's voice.  
He had never heard her sound worried before.
	"Nabiki?  What's wrong?  Kodachi didn't sneak in and try 
something did she?"
	"No, this was their own stupidity pure and simple.  Apparently 
at nine, they decided to follow your advice and flip for who took on 
Kodachi, but they couldn't agree who would be heads and tales so they 
had another match over THAT!  And then they couldn't agree about the 
outcome so they started another contest."  She paused to groan then 
sigh.  "When I got up this morning they were still at it.  I think 
Shampoo was winning but they both looked too exhausted for me to really 
say."
	Ranma  ran his hand through his hair with a groan.  "Great.  
How do they look?
	"They both collapsed five seconds after I got them to stop, and 
I can't decide whether or not to try waking them up.  Ranma, we can't 
forfeit this match.  I've rigged the betting pool I'm running to come 
out in the black no matter who wins, but that's only if I can collect 
on the bets against Kodachi managing to take out everyone competent on 
our side.  Unless I get can find a girl who can represent Furinkan and 
last at least a minuet the dojo wouln't be able to afford anything 
besides rice for the next month."
	 Ranma sat there silently.  He knew what Nabiki wanted to ask. 
 He knew that honor demanded he agree.  He also knew that she wasn't 
asking because she knew how badly he wanted to throw honor to the wind 
and refuse in the name of masculine pride.  He sighed.  "You found her. 
 I'll ask mom to get me the outfit, and I'll meet you at St. Hebereke 
later."

	Ranma walked into the school with a shopping bag dangling from 
her left hand.  *Is there any way out of this?  No, there's still no 
way to get around having to do this.* she thought to herself as she 
walked through the halls, looking everywhere but at the bag he held.
	"You there, are you with the team from Furinkan?"  Asked a 
somewhat familiar voice ahead of him.  Focusing her attention she 
realized she had heard it a week before, it belonged to Kodachi Kuno 
who was standing in front of her in her school uniform with a smirk on 
her face.
	"Yep, the other contestants� aren't available."
	Kodachi sighed, "My open invitation to them to attend the match 
wasted!  And I so wanted Mousse-sama to see me against a capable 
opponent.  I hope you actually can fight me properly.  I'd so hate to 
loose the chance to defeat you because you drew to many penalties from 
weaponless attacks."
	"You should worry about loosing the match."  Ranma responded, 
forcing herself to grin slightly.

	Ranma stood in her corner of the ring, trying to ignore the 
feeling of the tights she was wearing.  *I can't hold back just because 
she's a girl.  I have to go all out and fight as hard as I can.  I 
chose to fight, and I will do everything in my power to win.*
	"Your name?"  The referee asked.
	"Ranko Saotome."
	"Ranko Saotome challenging!"  The referee declared to the 
crowd.  She turned to point to the opposing corner.  "The champion 
Kodachi Kuno!"

	Ranma stood at the opposite side of the ring as Kodachi.  Both 
were breathing heavily from the effort of the fight.  Kodachi suddenly 
pulled a ball from nowhere and tossed it at Ranma.  Ranma dropped into 
a roll to avoid it, then was knocked to the mat as it exploded.
	"An opening!"  Kodachi yelled as she jumped at Ranma swinging a 
pair of gymnastic clubs at her.  Ranma grabbed a nearby hoop and 
twirled it around her wrist as she rolled to the side.  As she rose to 
a kneeling position she grabbed the hoop by the edge and with a quick 
twist looped it around the spot where Kodachi's arms were supposed to 
be.  Rising to her feet Ranma rotated the hoop attempting to snare 
Kodachi with it.  Kodachi avoided the attack, though the clubs were 
pulled from her grasp.
	Ranma spun the hoop around his wrist, advancing at Kodachi 
quickly, however she cartwheeled away, grabbing a ribbon and hoop of 
her own off the mat as she went.  Flipping to the side opposite Ranma, 
Kodachi threw her own hoop at her as she landed.  It struck her hoop 
splitting it in half.  She instantly followed up with her ribbon.  
Ranma countered with her own ribbon.  The ribbon's lashed at each other 
in the center of the ring, then Ranma shifted stances as Kodachi's 
ribbon wrapped round her right wrist, trapping her own ribbon.  
	Kodachi pulled at the ribbon, and Ranma pulled back.   Ranma's 
arm was pulled toward Kodachi, then with an effort she drew it back 
toward her own body.  Then with a slight smile she jumped foreword her 
right hand shooting foreword to catch the slack ribbon and snap a fast 
loop through it.  The loop snapped around Kodachi's wrist, then another 
snap threw her into the air.
	Kodachi pulled out a small whistle, looked where she was going, 
then dropped it.

	"Ranko Saotome!"  The Referee stated raising Ranma's hand above 
her head.

	In the audience Kodachi was standing against Mousse, her head 
buried in his chest.  "Oh Mousse-sama, you saved me again!"  Before 
Mousse could conceive of anything intelligible to stammer in reply, she 
pushed herself away.    Holding herself Kodachi shook her head, tears 
streaming down her cheeks.  "But no!  I entered this match to prove the 
strength of my love for you, but I failed!  My love is not strong 
enough to be worthy of you!"  She turned away, crouching with her hands 
to her face.
	 "Er, no� You fought well, I mean my heart belongs to Shampoo, 
but your�"
	Kodachi pivoted and grabbed his hands.  "Don't say anything, 
Mousse-Sama.  I will dedicate myself from this day to become worthy of 
you!"  Releasing his hands she turned and ran toward her dressing room. 
 Mousse stood there, looking after her, and glancing at his hands.

	Ranma followed Nabiki into the house, male once again and 
dressed in his usual red shirt with black pants.  "That was an 
experience I don't want to repeat."  He commented.
	"But you looked so cute in that leotard."  Nabiki commented.  
Snapping her fingers she added, "Oh that reminds he, Noriki wanted you 
to have this, as a memento of the fight."  She pulled a videotape from 
her purse and extended it to him.
	Ranma glanced at the copy of Mel Brooks "Robin Hood, Men in 
Tights" With a quiet growl he stalked away.
	"Hello!  Is something the matter Ranma?"  Kasumi proclaimed as 
she walked out of the kitchen.
	Ranma directed a scowl at her, then sighed as she failed to 
react to it.  "No, my sister's just demonstrating her warped sense of 
Humor."
	"Oh, there's nothing warped about Noriko,"  Nabiki commented.  
"Oh and have Shampoo and Akane woken up yet?"
	 "I don't think so."
	 "If they had you'd know."
	Ranma directed a suspicious glance at Nabiki

	Shampoo stood arms spread wide accepting the cheers of the 
crowd.  Kodachi lay at her feet, apologizing for challenging her.  
Ranma jumped into the ring and grabbed her in a joyous embrace.  No 
wait he had suddenly turned female, and he was griping her tighter.  
The dream dissolved.
	Akane stood arms spread wide accepting the cheers of the crowd. 
 Shampoo was bowing to her and declaring that she was the better 
martial artist.  Ranma jumped into the ring and grabbed her in a joyous 
embrace.  No wait he had suddenly turned female, and he was griping her 
tighter.  The dream dissolved
	Both girls opened their eyes slowly, looking to see each 
other's face.  Their awakening minds calmly took stock of the 
situation.  They were in the same bed.  They both had their arms around 
each other.  They had no clothes on.  Some sort of reaction was 
necessary.
	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  They separated themselves 
like two magnets of identical poles.

	 Ranma pivoted toward the stairs as a pair of screams erupted 
on the second floor.  Climbing the stairs in three jumps, he ran to the 
source of the screams.  Akane's room.
	"Are you�  Gyaah!"  Ranma pivoted away from the sight.  On the 
bed Akane had stood in a vaguely defensive stance clutching a sheet to 
her chest with one arm, the other extended in a vaguely martial arts 
posture.  Opposite stood Shampoo, wearing nothing but her hair 
ornaments.  She was also standing in a rough approximation of a martial 
arts stance, with one hand poised as though checking her body for 
something.  "Didn't see anything, didn't see anything, if I did see 
anything I'm not admitting it."  Ranma stated to himself as he walked 
away from the room.
	Akane's voice called out in a fierce tone promising 
retribution, "Nabiki!"