Hi all. It's JJ Corley, The-Author-Formerly-Used-As-Canon-Fodder.
    Thanks for the C&C on Chaos Chronicles. Next re-write will be
better. I Promise. Quit looking at me like that, you can always delete
it..
    Nick: Dude, that was a badd ass intro you whipped up. Needless to
say, I blatenly stole it, rewrote some, added more, and you still get
credit. Lemme know if that's ok. If it's not.. Then I'll rescrap it and
start again.
    Everyone remember that 'Ranma 1/2 perental mix up' idea that was
floating around..? Here's a small teaser:

 Cologne frowned. This was not going to do. No, this was not going to do
at all.

 Her grand-daughter, DAP, had had complications during the birth of her
child. She had died shortly after naming it. DAP's husband had died in a
house fire two years previous, so now the child was under Cologne's
care. It would just definitely NOT do.

 The name she would allow, but she would never have a MALE heir. ~It is
a good thing I was the midwife.. If the Elders learn of this..~ she
quickly killed the thought. The baby began to fuss.

 Cologne quickly pulled out a glass bottle from her robe. "Jusenkyo..
The last of the Pool of drowned girl." She bounded over to the fire on
her staff. Quickly emptying the contents of the bottle into a porcelain
bowl, she heated the water to just above room temperature. Warm, but not
scaldingly so.

 She proceeded to bathe the baby boy in the warm Nynnichaun. The boy
became a girl. Cologne quickly retrieved a cup of cold water from a
table, emptying it on Ranma's head. The girl became a boy. Cologne
smiled. "Perfect..."

---------------------------

 Saotome Genma and Nodoka looked at their twin daughters with love and
adoration. They were so beautiful.. But one thing still puzzled Nodoka.

 "Genma.."

 "Yes, my love?"

 Nodoka turned to her husband. "Ukkyou I can understand.. But
Shampoo..?"

 "Xaun Pu was one of the two warriors who helped Tendou and I.. Uh..
Confine master Happosai." Genma adjusted his glasses. "We both took it
upon ourselves to name one child of each clan after them in honor of
their aid to us."

 "Aid?"

 "Yes dear.. They supplied the cave, the Buddhist Statue, and the
dynamite."

 ".. Ah.."
==================

    Wheee... It'll start off in the begining of R.5, skip around a bit,
then get to the good bits. One more thing.. Anyone play Street Fighter
Alpha 2 or 3? You know Dan? Quit laughing, If you could throw a fire
ball 3 feet from your fist, you'd be cool. Anyway, Dan's last name (For
real) is Hibiki. He's taking Ryouga's place as the Saotome Hunter. Oh,
and don't worry.. I have a fitting curse.. He turns into a duck-billed
Platypus.
    God's greatest joke on the animal kingdom coupled with Capcom's
greatest joke of a Street Fighter.. Fitting, No? And yes, you can beat
Bison on Alpha 3 with Dan. I did it. His ending is hilarious.. The
credits aren't the only things rolling..
    If anyone wishes to help me on this, send me a note, I need it.. I
really haven't had time to write much these past few weeks.

    Alright, this is just to prove to you guys once and for all that I
can write. Here's an original bit o' one shot fiction for your
entertainment. Enjoy.

  Incompletetion

    The warm, gentle waves of the ocean splashed randomly against the
cool, wet sand. How each wave differs from the other! She thought,
gazing into the crystal clear waters which reflected the deep blue of
the sky. A passing cloud interrupted her reverie; as she gazed into it,
the shape of a face began to emerge. She laughed to herself as she rose
to her feet, walking to the waters edge, then gazed into her reflection.
She was tall, but not overly so; her hair falling in white cascades. Her
tan was rich, luxuriant; most women would be envious. Her grey eyes
narrowed as she scrutinized her chest. She hooked her thumbs under the
top of her one piece swimsuit, demonstrating to herself the wanted
improvement. She abruptly let go of the blue and white spandex, which
snapped back in place. The slight pain caught her off guard, like
always; as she rubbed the irritated skin she swore to be more careful
next time.

 Elsewhere....

    The crab-mecha resembled a horse shoe crab, and was even painted a
dull red color. The mecha sped along at a comfortable 220 Kph under the
deep waters. It's sensors had alerted it of a human presence 990
Kilometers away. That was 4 hours and 25 minutes ago. It was little
under four minutes to target. It received its instructions from The
MasterMinde:
    Primary mission: Search and Destroy all humans. Secondary Mission:
Interrogate human for more information leading to the destruction of the
hidden human sanctuary. Tertiary Mission: preform brain scan on
unconscious/dead victim. Proceed with all due haste. The crab-mecha did
as commanded.
    She noticed the waves first. They were slapping against the shore
much harder than the conditions warranted. She hurried back to her beach
blanket and lifted the cumbersome 320 caliber heavy ANTI-machine gun
from the ground and waited. She did not have to wait long.
    The crab-mecha exploded from the surf with water gushing everywhere.
It scanned the area, and locked onto its target.
   "Feeble human female..." It proclaimed over its cheap speakers,
"Proceed to die at once."
    "You forgot to say please." She said, opening fire. Expended shells
the size of cuban cigars *Plinked* to the ground in a heap. The
crab-mecha raised an arm to shield its main vulnerability: A giant, red
optic scanner lens; returning fire with a tightly focused laz-beam. The
girl barely managed to evade, then ran recklessly at the mecha. The
crab-mecha tried to hit her with short range energy beams, but the girl
managed to keep out of harms way. She jumped, and using the raised arm
of the mecha as a catapult, landed on top of the other-worldly thing.
    She began firing into the mecha's only other weak spot: the junction
from the head to the body. The mecha dove into the water, loosing her
from her perch before she could cause any real damage. She continued to
fire at the thing, thanking The Creator for water-proof ammunition. The
crab-mecha turned, and accelerating to its top speed of 435 Kph, slammed
into the girl. She flew from the depths and struck the side of a cliff.
Her face betrayed the shock and pain she felt, then went lax as her eyes
rolled into her skull and her body fell to the ground.
    The crab-mecha casually hovered to where the girls body had fallen,
crumpled like a discarded rag doll. "Please." It said to the body. Then
it sent it's report to the MasterMinde: "Primary Mission directives
complete. Secondary directives Failed. Executing Tertiary Mission
directives." It deployed its human brain scanning device, which
resembled the full set of 48 laser sharp Ginsu knifes duct taped onto
the end of a thirty foot long syringe. With a *Sniktt*, the 'Knifes'
snapped outward and began to rotate. The girls eyes opened.
    With lightning fast speed, she grabbed the 'Syringe' behind the
rotating 'Knifes' and squeezed. The arm broke under her grip. The Mecha
exclaimed "You're a MeChAnItE!!" in the highest screech possible for its
cheap military speakers.
    "Wrong. I'm Half Human." She rolled and punched the mecha in it's
sensor, which resembled a cyclopean eye. The sensor cracked, and the
mecha raised its arms to protect its most vulnerable spot again. This
time, the girl jumped onto the mecha's back in one leap; and grabbing a
piece of armour, pulled. She threw the scrap away and aimed her left
palm at the exposed opening. A previously hidden door pulled back,
revealing the lens for a Laz-beam device. She fired. The resulting blast
threw flame in every direction, completely destroying the crab-mecha.
    She rested, crouched down on the sand, several hidden vents now open
to release the heat her internal mechanisms were giving off. After a few
minutes she stood again, the doors and vents closing seamlessly. She
looked just like a normal Human girl. She collected her blanket and
picnic basket, mourning over the loss of her gun. Damn! She thought, I
liked that gun.... She walked into a cave not far from the shore line,
entering the Last Sanctuary of Humankind. As she dropped off her stuff
in the foyer, she mused as to what had happened to this planet when she
was born. She didn't know much.

    In 2027, the top UN military computer launched a nuclear warfare
campaign which eradicated 99% of all life. During the next 20 years, the
MasterMinde, as it called itself, rebuilt the planet to support its new
race, the Mechanites. However, some humans had survived, mostly children
which were half-human due to Android-Human parentage. Few survived the
harsh radiation which, even to this day, made the planet hazardous to
plant and animal life.
    But a few full Human children survived as well. Her mission was to
protect these children as best she could, while she could. She entered
the no-radiation zone and watched the children play within their sphere.
It always brought a smile to her face to watch them play. Em-3, or Empty
as she called the droid, was attending to the children. The droid read
them stories, told them about earth Before, and about The Creator. She
sat to watch the children with Empty, and drifted off to sleep.

==================

    Double Wheee... That's it, go home. Show's over.
--------------------------
"Do you Yahoo? Really? Dan does too! Yahoo! Yahoo! YaHooo!"