Hehhehheh!  Nicely done.  Over all it seemed to flow well, I just have one
little
nitpick

Message text written by Gary Kleppe

Tendos, their faces glazed
over with dull astonishment, stared at Saotomes.

While technically this is correct, I think putting 'the' in front of Tendos
and
Saotomes would make it read a little smoother.  After all, all the Tendos
present are looking at all the Saotomes present.

Just a thought.

C-Ya ='P
Jon Osborne

"When life hands you dillemas, make dillemonade."
  -Me