PB #10 Chapter III
by Shade

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and affiliates are the 
property of Rumiko Takahashi, Rifts and 
Phase World are owned by Palladium. Other 
references belong to their respective owners.
You know the drill.....

~~~~~~
1b: And the Band played on.
~~~~~~

�Oh? Good morning Kasumi!�

Ranma had decided to do without his shirt since his workouts 
tended to work up quite a sweat and he didn�t have that an 
extensive a wardrobe in the first place. His crew had never 
complained about it though so naturally he figured that the 
same would be alright here. His years spent in other dimensions 
had not destroyed the core of innocence that lay within his heart,
a fact that continued to draw members of the opposite sex to him
like moths to a flame. The main drawback of that well meaning 
naivet� was that it also meant that short of directly confronting 
him with said interest (and sometimes not even then) the poor Knight 
would never realize that it was there in the first place. 

Now was no exception to the rule.

That rosy tinge to those flawless cheeks, those sparkling eyes 
simmering with barely repressed lust, and the way she tore a 
perfectly good apron into teeny tiny shreds of white would
have clued even the most dense of men that something was up.

But Ranma was a Saotome.....their cluelessness was legendary.

�So what brings you out here this morning? If you�re going 
to practice I just finished so the Dojo�s free.� 

It took Kasumi a moment to realize he was talking 
to her as her attention wasn�t focused on his head.
Her appreciation of Chinese garb rose enormously
as she noticed that after his workout the black silk 
pants now molded onto Ranma like a second skin.

�Oh no, I don�t train anymore. Akane is the heir 
to our family�s style. I was curious to see who was 
out here at such an early hour, usually Akane goes 
out jogging in the morning. She prefers to save her 
workouts in the Dojo for when she comes home 
from school.�

�Sorry about that, I didn�t think anyone would mind if 
I trained here.�

�It�s no trouble at all. This place has 
been so quiet since mother...�

Kasumi looked down as her voice trailed off.

Human perception is an unpredictable thing. While he couldn�t 
pick up even the most blatent come on if his life depended 
on it Ranma had a uncanny knack for being able to recognize
the signs of emotional distress and help a person deal with it. This 
was due in part to the fact that he was an excellent listener (though 
with rather selective hearing) and a very compassionate 
person by nature. So as soon as the words �quiet� �since� 
and �mother�were uttered tiny alarms started going off in 
his head. 

�I�m sorry, I didn�t mean to remind you of 
any painful memories.�

Leaning closer toward Kasumi who still averted her eyes away 
from him Ranma placed a warm hand on her cheek and gently 
tilted her head up to face him. 

A chance ray of sunlight chose that 
particular moment to illuminate the 
young man�s features with a bright 
halo as his smiled warmly in an attempt 
to let the Tendo daughter know she wasn�t 
alone and that he was there for her. 

A quiet hush descended on the premises 
as Kasumi became lost in those concerned 
 pools of sapphire blue. They seemed to promise
a safe haven from the storm of turmoil that surrounded
her as she kept the household together day after day0. Her body 
unconsciously swayed and started to lean toward him, bringing 
them closer together. She could almost taste his lips, the 
moment was so perfect.....

Closer....just a few inches more.....

Almost there.....
~~~~~~~

Just as this scene was about to become 
prime time viewing one of the simmering pots
in the kitchen started to bubble over on the stove.

A slighty unpleasant smell coming from the 
direction of the house caused the couple�s respective 
noses to twitch in alarm, breaking the mood.

�Oh my! Breakfast is burning!�

Withdrawing with a guilty look of disappointment 
Kasumi started to rush toward her little kingdom 
to avert a potential disaster.(1)
 
Ranma followed close behind. He still hadn�t 
put a shirt on yet. Kasumi wisely didn�t turn around 
to look as she fought to keep her composure. But she also 
didn�t point the young man�s state of disarray to him either....
~~~~~

�I�ll give you a hand in the kitchen.�

�It�s alright, you don�t have to....�

�It�s no trouble, as a guest here it�s the least I can do.�

�Oh....Thank you.�

Such a simple gesture of kindness, yet it made her feel 
all warm and tingly all over. Had anyone ever done anything 
like that for her before? Akane�s ill fated attempts at helping her
usually sprang from wanting to impress friends or out of a 
desire to simple show the world that she was just as good at the more 
feminine arts as �Big Sister Kasumi�. Somehow cleaning up the 
messes she inevitably made and compensating for the utensils and 
dishes she broke or rendered unfit for human contact was always 
ignored and left for Kasumi which only added to the workload of 
cleaning and cooking for a family of four.The only time Nabiki ever 
entered her domain was to pick up something to munch on. As for Father.....
though she knew in her heart that he was a good man even he didn�t lift
a finger to do the chores and she didn�t have the heart to try and tell him to
do them.

Yet here was someone who she had just 
met and he offered his help without asking 
for anything in return. Not that she�d mind if he did want 
something...oh my...that thought was becoming 
most improper.....

If Kasumi had been wearing glasses they would have fogged 
over at that moment.

Fortunately Ranma was able to keep her from accidently 
pouring kerosene onto the grill, otherwise the still slumbering 
residents would have gotten the mother in law of all wake up calls!
~~~~~~~~

As the hours passed the glorious yellow sun started 
its climb across the sky and brought lifegiving light 
and heat to the citizens of Tokyo. 

Akane and Nabiki opened their slightly bloodshot eyes, yawned 
and cursed the early hour that forced them from their beds, then 
went to attend their individual morning toiletries. Both made very sure 
to check the furo for occupants before entering. Oddly enough both suffered 
minor twinges of disappointment upon the discovery that it was indeed 
empty after all.

Genma woke up, relatively speaking. Perhaps it would be 
better to say that he regained consciousness. Or rather what 
passed for a state of consciousness.

{Urghghhh......no more all night sake binges.....
..wait a second...this doesn�t feel like a hangover...}

The thick stench of burnt fur and body hair quickly got his eyes 
open as he sat up.

*CRICK*

Genma�s eyes widened as tears of pain formed.
Sometime during the night when that evil suitcase had
sprouted giant mechanical gloved hands and dribbled 
him around like big furry basketball before tossing him 
into the koi pond a disc had slipped in his back. And 
boy did it hurt!

Training the boy could wait, he needed a chiropractor ASAP.

�Morning Pop.�

It took only a glance to figure out his father�s predicament.
Even though he knew it was wrong Ranma couldn�t help but 
smirk a little. That �ACME Warner surprise upgrade� had been 
worth every credit he�d spent for it.

�Ranma my boy...your father needs a doctor. Be a good son
...and run along and get one.�

�No need, I can fix it.�

�Ah..wait a second boy, do you have license for this!?�

�Don�t worry Pops....I had a good teacher....trust me....�

Somehow that didn�t reassure Genma any, it sounded too 
much like him right when he�d suggested the trip to Jusenkyo.
  
�I�m sure it�s nothing Ranma, you don�t have to!!�

�Oh but I insist....�

The older man did not like that grin he saw on his son�s face.

�Wait wait wait!!!�

�Now hold still...this may....sting a little.�

�Ack!!!�

Locating the appropriate spot in the small of his father�s back 
Ranma gave a small tap to it.

*SNAP**CRACKLE*POP*

�YEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!�

The house shook for a moment before settling back down.

�THAT HURT!!!�

�You�re standing up aren�t you?�

�THAT�S...uh..I guess I am.....�

�Now if you�ll excuse me I�ve got 
to set up the table for breakfast.�

�Wait a second boy! It�s time for your training! I�ve 
been too lax on you lately! You�ve become soft and weak 
like a woman!�

Ranma snorted and seemed to be trying to not burst out 
into hysterical laughter. If Genma ever said something like that 
on the Untamed Stallion no one would ever find his body.

This was not the reaction the overweight martial artist
had expected, normally even implying that he was 
remotely like a girl was enough to send his son charging in
with a full head of steam.

And the boy had even left his back wide open, such sloppiness 
was disgraceful! A good thrashing should teach his son better.

The older heavyset man crept up to Ranma as the young man set the table.
Then as his son bent down to place a cup he struck.
Ranma would never know what hit him.
~~~~~~
- 1.2344433446 seconds later

*SPLASH*

A soggy brown muzzle poked its way out of the koi pond.

�Nice try Pops.�

A few late blooming flowers were being carefully arranged
 among the dishes to form a small work of art worthy of the 
great masters.
~~~~~~
- 1.1118327483 seconds later

*SPLASH*

A large bulky form floated to the surface of the water.

�Would you at least wait until I finish Dad?�

The tea set tastefully offset the rice bowls but the chopsticks
needed to be placed 2 degrees more to the left.
~~~~~~

1.26457 seconds later....

*SPLASH*

1.00033 seconds....

*SPLASH*

.93465 sec....

*SPLASH*

*KLONG*

A large lump formed on
the now unconscious bear�s head
as it slumped against one of 
the ornamental rocks bordering the pool.

�He�s stubborn, I�ll give him that.�

Ranma went to pull his father out before he drowned.
Maybe now Genma would leave him in peace.
~~~~~~

Breakfast progressed smoothly with only one interruption.

�YOU�RE going to OUR school!?�

Akane�s look was one that said she obviously 
hoped that she�d heard him wrong. 

�Yes, Here�s my transcript.�

�How did you get it so fast?! You just arrived yesterday!�

Nabiki was a little flabbergasted, her contacts should have 
informed her about something like this weeks ago! 

�I made a few arrangements before I came to Nermia. No biggie,
just a little this and that to smooth things along..�

He deliberately left out the fact that he�d hacked his way into
the government servers to register and set up a passable background 
that would minimize the paperwork the moment he�d set foot in Japan.
Ranma hated paperwork, it was the bane of all decent military personnel.

�Well then, me and Akane will just have to walk 
with you to school then and show you where it is.�

{Time to start revealing the disadvantages of the competition. 
Is that a silk shirt? It looks...nice....}

�Gee thanks!�

�NABIKI!�

�Oh my.�

{Drat, I�ve already graduated.} 
~~~~

Akane and Nabiki looked at the carefree 
martial artist casually strolling along. This 
wouldn�t have been so strange a sight  
had it not been for the fact he was doing so on a narrow 
chainlink fence that was taller then they were.

�Why are you walking up there!? Too good to
 walk on the ground like the rest of us normal people?!�

Akane took this as yet another slight toward herself.
At this rate she was going to earn herself an ulcer before 
she graduated.

�She does raise at least one valid question Ranma, why 
are you up there?�

Nabiki was genuinely curious to hear his reason 
for being up there.
�It�s kinda fun.�

*WHAM* 

After picking herself up 
from an impressive facefault Nabiki
shot a disbelieving look at what had to be the most 
totally unorthodox person she had ever met.

�You�re walking on a fence because it�s *fun*?!!!�

�Well, why not?�

�.....� 

Okay, so for once the Mistress of 
Wits didn�t have a ready response at hand. 
It happens.

Silence filled the gap between the three. 
Of course Ranma didn�t notice it much.
It gave him more time to do important stuff, 
like thinking.

�I�m NOT going to marry you, you know!�

Finally the youngest Tendo daughter decided 
to break the stifling quiet with her flawless logic and insight.

The handsome pigtailed young man shrugged carelessly.

�Fine with me.�

Akane�s eyebrows twitched with suppressed 
irritation at having been dismissed so casually....again.

*Daddadadddadadda......*

Enter the comic relief.

�You WILL marry one of  Tendo�s daughters, Ranma!!!�

�Gotta catch me first old man!�

Laughing gleefully Ranma took off across the rooftops
at a speed that a peregrine falcon would have envied.

�Come back here you ungrateful son of mine!�

Huffing and puffing, Genma scrambled off in pursuit.

�Honestly, those two are so embarrassing. Why do 
they have to stay at our house?�

�Now be nice Akane, they are our guests after all.�

�Hmph!�
~~~~~
-About 2 miles later

*pant**pant*�

�Co...co...come...*cough*cough*....bac...
...back..*wheeze*.he..he...he...here....*ugh*....�

Genma collapsed, sweating like a pig and totally exhausted
as he watched his boy vanish in the distance.

{When did he get so damn fast?!}
~~~~~~

Ranma looked around at all the big stores and shops.

Whoops, he must have taken a wrong turn back there. This 
was the commerical district, not Furinkan. Although it was 
rather nice to know where he could go this afternoon to get 
some local units of exchange. Money couldn�t solve every 
problem but it certainly worked well for most of them!

Looks like he�d have to hurry if he didn�t 
want to be late for his first day of school. 
A jade green blur bounded from roof to roof
as he finally determined the right direction to go. It was 
rather embarrassing to admit that even with his instinctual 
knowledge of his exact position in the Multiverse at all times 
he STILL got lost sometimes. The funny thing was it had only 
started happening after that side trip to a little backwater 
dimension......
~~~~~~~

One particular building was home to a pair of sharp eyes.

�Micheru, what are you looking at?�

�I thought I saw someone for a second, Haruka.�

�On the roof? Are you sure?�

�Funny though, I could have sworn it was carrying.....�

�Carrying what?�

�A...a schoolbag.� 

�.....Maybe you need some rest.�

�Only if you�re here to share it.�

�Well then...hey!..*mmm*......*light sigh*.....*giggle*...
...aren�t we full of energy all of a sudden....
....*sounds best left to the imagination*......�
~~~~~~~~

How hard was it to find one school in Tokyo?
Ranma was about to find that out the hard way.

�Sorry, this is Tomebiki.�

He sighed, this wasn�t it either.

�I knew I should have taken that right turn at the 
Cat Cafe!�

�Look, I�ve got to get going. Sorry I can�t help you out.�

�Oh that�s okay,....um....�

�Ryuunosuke, my name�s Ryuunosuke Fujinami.�

�Ryuunosuke? That�s strange, what kind of an idiot gives 
such a cute girl a guy�s name?!�

�..Cu..c...cute?�

*Ba-Bump**Ba-Bump*

�Sure! I mean anybody could see what a pretty young lady 
you are. Oh where are my manners, I�m Ranma. Ranma Saotome.�

His devasating smile was on full power, he wanted to 
make the best impression he could. It worked well.....too well in fact. 

�..Pr..p..pre...pretty?!�

Ryuunosuke had just passed Cloud Nine and didn�t show any signs 
of coming back down to Earth anytime soon.

�Sorry to bother you! Ja ne!�

Off he bounded like a grasshopper on steroids. Leaving behind 
one very dazed crossdressing girl..... 

{Furinkan High.....maybe I can see him..er..I mean it, later.}

Somewhere in the neighborhood a monk named Cherry raised his 
head and uttered two words that pretty much summed up the 
building situation.

�Most ominous....�
~~~~~

Saint Hebereke. Nope, he definitely had no 
business at an all girl�s school.

Maybe he should have checked the map 
*before* he left. The only consolation he 
had was that at least none of the people 
he knew were here to see this, he�d never 
live it down.

He wondered if that kid he had met in junior 
high had gone through this. What was his name again...
.Ryo.....Ryoda Hidiki... or something like that....

Far, far away in the wilds of China something warm, fuzzy, 
and pure evil sneezed.
~~~~~~~~

{Not again!}

This was starting to get out of hand.

�Ah, excuse me. This isn�t Furinkan High School is it?�

�No, this is Gravitron High.�

{DOH!}

�Thanks anyway Miss ah....�

He was talking to a dust trail.

�Oh well. Let�s try that again.�

He�d probably never run into that redhead again anyway. 

Once more into the breach.
~~~~

�WHAT THE HECK?!!�

{Big...Toenail...of....Satan.....Educational.....Facility?!!}

This didn�t look anything like a school, he�d seen Kreeghor 
Prisons less intimidating!!

A very naked young lady ran past dressed in a red mask with 
a matching pair of high heel boots.

�.....�

Carefully Ranma blinked his eyes a few times.

{I did not just see a naked girl in a red mask run by.}

Today was not shaping up to be a good day.

Try again.
~~~~~~~~~

*ZOOM*

At this point Ranma was getting a little desperate,
if he couldn�t find Furinkan soon he was going to 
be late. So here he was chasing after a bicycle doing 
better then 80 mph in the quiet Nermia streets.

At least the girl was cute.

�HI!�

Amazingly she could talk to him and pedal like a maniac
at the same time without running into something.

�Hi, do you know where Furinkan High is?�

�Hmm....Nuku Nuku remember! Take next right and go straight!�

�Thanks!�

�BYE BYE!�

Nuku Nuku waved back at her new friend as 
she decided to start really moving.

*WHOOSH* 

The ten speeder that was going at least nine speeds faster 
then it was intended to abruptly went from Warp drive to 
Ludicrous speed.

Lines of plaid bounced off Ranma�s now sheepish 
face as he was left behind in the dust.

{This IS my home planet, right?}
~~~~~~~
-Elsewhere

Ranma wasn�t the only one having a hard time swallowing this.

�I don�t believe this! How can anyone fumble SIX 
navigational bearing rolls in row and not be a Hibiki?!!�

Even dressed in stately white platemail, somehow 
the figure managed to convey a sense of twitching
incredibility. 

The grey robed one pulled out a small notepad and 
then looked at the various enchantments and alterations
in play on Saotome to jot them down for posterity.

After a moment of looking a very oversized 
sweatdrop appeared.

�I think I�m going to need a bigger notebook.�

~~~~~

�Whew! Finally found it!�

He had arrived just in time, Akane and 
Nabiki already approaching the front gates.

He waved at them, happy to see that he�d made 
it just in time. Jumping down to join the Tendo girls 
Ranma clasped both their hands in his own in relief. 

�Man, you two have no idea how happy 
I am to see you guys.�

�What do you think you�re doing?!�

Akane wasn�t the only to react to this strange twist of events,
several dozen angry male voices yelled from the school yard
as they witnessed this undreamed of sacrilege.

�Huh?�

Ranma looked to see a weird sight, it looked like every boy 
attending Furinkan was dressed up in sports equipment or martial arts 
outfits and gathered in front of the school building. 

One of them, dressed in an *ice* hocky uniform gasped in shaky disbelief.

�He�s...He�s...HE�S TOUCHING AKANE�S HAND!!!�

Cries of outrage sprung up from all around at that observation 
as if they couldn�t see that perfectly well for themselves.

The group seemed to come to a consensus after some dark muttering.

�Let�s get him!!!�

The horde of beserk hormonally driven jocks 
charged toward the new student,  intent on turning 
the infidel who had dared defile the skin of their pure 
goddess Akane into a stain on the concrete.

{You have GOT to be kidding me!}

A large sweatdrop formed on the back of 
Ranma�s head as he saw the angry mob heading 
toward him.

{Now the fun begins.}

Nabiki smirked, this was sure to discourage any chance 
of anything forming between her younger sister and 
their potential fiancee. 

(to be continued)

~~~~~~~

(1) Yes, this definitely qualifies as a disaster in her book.

~~~~~~

Egads, Murphy's Laws Strike again!

Ammo is cheap, your life isn't.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Missiles can only be fired once. Built-in energy 
weapons can be fired until you're dead. 

Creatures with cute faces and big puppy eyes 
are some of the most dangerous beings in existence! 

No matter how weird the creature is, or how weak 
it looks, do NOT take it on in hand to hand.

The best way to kill anything is from a 
long way away and with the absolute assurance 
that it won't be getting back up.

-Mad Dog's Pallidium Humor Files

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