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-- Name : CAGMST8.TXT
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Once upon a time, there was a fanfic author.
He READ a lot more stories than he actually WROTE, though.
So, instead of geting a little work ethic, he got lazy and decided to
take the easy way out, and rag on others works instead.
So he recruited a couple of fictional charchters, snagged a movie
theatre, and grabbed some munchies.
And thus was born.......
LST1/2K: Lunatic Science Theatre 500.
Starring, in no particular order:
Maya Ibuki: She�s cute. She�s smart. She�s a raging lesbian who has
to constantly reparess her dominatrix fantasies about her boss. In other
words, the perfect woman.
Hikaru Gosunkugi: He�s into superstition; black cats and voodoo dolls.
Mercutio: Because I can, THAT�S why!!!!!!
-Begin LST1/2K-
The team of divers made little noise as they swam
through the ruins of a once-great city. Millions had once
lived here; now it was home only to fish.
Mercutio: �Remember, everybody; if you spot any musically inclined
red crabs, shoot to kill.�
Kappabungi led the team, who followed her directions despite
not being sure what they were looking for or why they had
come.
"Johnson, Taka, you go that way." Eiko pointed to
the left entrance of the huge sprawling building they were
about to enter. Once it had reached to the sky, dozens of
stories tall; now it couldn't even break the surface of the
water far above. "Anderson, Hino, circle around to the
back. Rippongi, you come with me around to the right."
Maya(Eiko): *There has GOT to be a better way to check the
lobster traps....*
They all nodded and split up, one diver in each pair
carrying a substantial lamp, most of them wondering why they
had to split up to enter an abandoned building. They
wouldn't say anything, though. Eiko had a sharp tongue.
Hikaru: She files it to a point every night before bed.
Eiko and Rippongi were still poking around the foyer
when Taka came on the radio. "Kappabungi-san, we've found a
huge well. And...uh...You're going to have to see this."
Maya(Eiko): �Taka, this had better not be another pair of spawning
seahorses.�
Eiko and Rippongi quickly swam down the long hallway
to the grand central chamber of the building. It would have
been impressive, once upon a time, carved of marble, basalt,
and onyx, the walls covered with reliefs and squiggly
letters. The ceiling was about four stories above the
floor, a great dome studded with gems which sparkled in the
light of the flashlights the divers used.
Hikaru: Interesting. At this point, most people would concentrate on
looting. I know I would.
They could only see pieces of the room; it was too big for their
lights to illuminate more than bits of it at a time.
And in the center, there was a great well, a shaft
sinking into the darkness.
Maya: �Shut �yo mouth!�
Hikaru: �But I�m talkin� bout the Shaft!!�
Mercutio: �I can dig it.�
The water was warmer around the
well; they could feel a gentle current running away from it.
Reliefs in the floor showed people being hurled into the
well by ceremonially dressed priests who wore tentacled
headdresses and contorted, inhuman masks. Bits of yellow
paint still clung to the masks, and a band of purple stone
ringed the well for six feet.
Maya(Eiko): �Jackpot!!! Now we can collect that gross-out pay.�
Anderson looked up at the ceiling. "Everything's
so...it's too clean. It's like this place sunk yesterday.
There's broken stuff everywhere, but nothing is worn or
covered with barnacles or...anything.
Hikaru: The Deep Ones come by with a pool vacuum every few days.
But of course, this
is the really weird thing." She shone her lamp upon a
statue made of limestone or some other sort of greenish rock.
It was kneeling at the edge of the pit, gazing down, a look
of horror upon its amphibian face, for it looked like a
strange cross between a fish, a frog, and a man,
Mercutio: Yoda?
for it�s feet were webbed, its head fishlike, with bulging eyes
and a receding, hairless brow, its flesh carved cunningly in
the likeness of scales. Yet its form was clearly human, bipedal
and proportioned much like any man. "Strange, eh?"
"Yes," Eiko said. "Perhaps one of their gods."
Anderson nodded. "I thought that at first. The
legends do claim some contact with fish-gods, but...look
closer." The light flashed on the creature's wrist. Not
only could they see the watch it was wearing, they could
read 'Timex' on it.
Maya(Eiko): �Apparently, the fish-gods have great taste in watches.
Hey, is that an Indiglo?
"I'd almost think this was all some
sort of fraud, but...what sort of conman would build a giant
underwater temple in the middle of the Pacific? And then
make a mistake like that?"
Taka was carrying a box whose purpose he didn't
know, other than the fact that it beeped periodically.
He was being paid enough that he didn't care that he didn't
know.
Mercutio(Taka): *Hmmmm..... maybe after all those other divers
were found disembowled, I should have asked some more
questions.*
NERV seemed to be big on giving orders and not
explaining them. He just hoped it wasn't a geiger counter,
especially now that it was beeping louder and faster. "The
box is having a fit," he said.
"Take it closer to the pit," Eiko said.
The box had a louder and longer fit. Taka frowned.
"I don't like this."
Maya(Eiko): �Sure, you say that NOW, but back on the ship
you were all like, �Hey guys, lets go stupidly risk our lives
in the haunted ruins! It�ll be fun!�
Hino nodded. "This place gives me the creeps,
although the night sky ceiling is kinda neat."
"The what?" Taka asked.
"The gems are all laid out where various stars are,"
Hino said. "It's a star chart." She took Anderson's lamp.
"There's Polaris. Algol. Aldeberaan. Betelgeuse. Sirius.
Fomalhaut." The light jerked about, illuminating various
'stars'. "There's the big dipper, Orion, Gemini...I'd guess
this shows the sky in a few months; some of these stars
won't be visible much at night until fall.
Mercutio: Actually, some of those stars should NEVER be in
the sky at the same time, but I suppose we can use suspension
of disbelief.
Hikaru: Especially considering Ghroth.
Mercutio: <mutters> Don�t remind me.....
Especially Fomalhaut. I'm gonna take some photos...now I'm
curious. Gimme the camera, Johnson."
Johnson didn't answer; in fact, he had moved out of
the light range of everyone else. Then his head drifted
into the light of Rippongi's flashlight, neatly severed at
the neck.
Mercutio: �JOHNSON DOESN�T LIVE HERE ANYMORE.�
For a moment, they all stared, then Rippongi and
Anderson both brought their lamps around to see what had
happened. The last transmission from the expedition was the
sound of screaming.
Hikaru: Seconds later, the ravening horde of albacore tuna
devoured them all.
~*~
John Biles & Rod M. Present
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Elseworlds
Children of an Elder God
Part 8
Under the Sea
Mercutio: o// Under the Sea..... Under the Sea.... o//
Hikaru: o// There�ll be no accusations.... o//
Maya: o// Just friendly crustaceans..... o//
<All> : o// Under the Sea!!! o//
~*~
"Ready for your checkup, Rei?" Maya asked
pleasantly.
Maya(Rei): �Yes, but can we forgo the probe this time? The
ointment still hasn�t gotten rid of the rash from last time....�
Rei nodded, then stripped out of her clothes
and laid down on the examination table.
Maya: <snaps on a rubber glove> �Now, for this examination I
have to rub my hands up and down the length of your entire body,
searching for..... umm, irregularities. Yes, that�s it. Now hold still,
and try to ignore any strong stroking motions on my part.�
Slowly, methodically, mechanical arms holding a
dazzling set of sensor arrays moved over her body. Screens
running along the wall came to life, streaming with data on
her body chemistry, brainwave activity, and dozens of other
details about Ayanami's body that an untrained eye would
find totally undecipherable.
"How's things going in school?" asked Maya, punching
a few buttons and flipping through charts as she did so.
"Everything okay?"
Rei nodded.
"And are things going well with Shinji?"
Maya(Rei): �Not as such. For some reason, he objects to being
sexually molested by a strange white form in a sea of LCL.�
Something unexpected happened.
Mercutio: Three miles away, a duck exploded.
The sensors all beeped, not loud alarms, just beeps,
signifying a change in Rei's body chemistry. Her body
temperature was slightly warmer, and there was an increase
in her blood pressure and respiration.
Rei frowned, looking unsure, and averted her eyes
from Ibuki's.
Maya looked at the screens, then scribbled a quick
note in her notepad. "Rei, what's wrong?"
"Langley," she replied quietly.
Maya: �Now, Rei, I _know_ you don�t like it when the CIA agents
follow you around, but it�s for securi-- oh wait, you were probably
talking about...�
"Asuka? What about her?"
"She was with Ikari."
"With Shinji?"
Rei nodded.
"What do you mean, 'with Ikari'?" asked Maya. "They
weren't..."
"Ibuki-san," said Rei evenly, "I want to kill her."
Maya: �Well, let me check the scenario.... (flips open folder)
no, no, sorry Rei, Ikari-shirei doesn�t have her death planned
until AFTER she goes mad. You�ll just have to drive her over
the edge. THEN you can kill her.�
-*-
"Sit down, Langely," Gendo said, pointing to a
chair.
Asuka sat down, frowning. "Am I going to be chewed
out again?"
Mercutio(Gendo): �Well, I hadn�t _planned_ to, but there�s
always enough vitriol to go around.... anything in particular
you�d like me to yell at you about?�
"I want you to teach Shinji about controlling his
dreams."
Asuka blinked. "You do?"
"Since the two of you live together, you are the
ideal teacher. And I understand he is having recurring
nightmares."
"Yeah. Sure I'll teach him. I'm just...Anything
else?"
Mercutio(Gendo): �Yes; you must find the Jade Monkey before
the next full moon.�
Maya(Asuka): �Excuse me?�
Mercutio(Gendo): �I mean....
"That's all. You have one month. Possibly less."
Asuka frowned. "Is something going to happen in a
month?"
Hikaru(Gendo): �Nothing out of the ordinary.�
Maya(Asuka): �That bad, eh?�
"He must learn quickly, and some of our intelligence
indicates one of the Angels may be able to influence dreams.
Rei has the training to defend herself, but Shinji..."
"Would crumple. I'll do my best."
"You have one month, then I'll call in someone who
can do a better job if you can't handle it."
"I CAN handle it," Asuka said.
"We shall see. Dismissed."
Asuka got up and left. Gendo watched her go, then
smiled faintly.
Mercutio(Gendo): *Mental Note; use reverse psychology to
mess with the rest of my staff ASAP.*
~*~
"You're going to what?" Shinji said, sitting on his
futon.
Asuka leaned against the doorway. "I'm going to
teach you to control your dreams. You need to learn."
"Is this some hypnosis thing?"
Maya(Asuka): �Well, it�s a Hypnos thing, yes....�
"No, just some mental techniques. It's easy, and
you'll sleep better and have more interesting dreams."
"My dreams are already too interesting."
~*~
He was on the train. Again.
Mercutio: o// The SOOOOUUUULLLLLLLLLLLL Train!!!!!!!!!! o//
The maglev zoomed through the Japanese countryside. Shinji
did his best to do what Asuka had told him. Focus on the image
of a mountain until it appears in the dream. So he had chosen to
think about Mount Fuji.
Hikaru: Gee, what�s wrong, you couldn�t find a MORE obvious
choice?
He could see mountains out the window, but they
weren't the right mountains. He concentrated harder, doing
his best to remember what Fuji looked like.
Mercutio: Well, let�s see..... big, rocky, rounded top, covered
with snow..... I�ve never even _seen_ Fuji and I can visualize
it.
The train zoomed around a mountain, turning towards
the sea, whipping about so fast he nearly fell out of his
seat. As it was, it turned him around and he looked out the
other window. There was Fuji, looking lost in the middle of
the plain. The train turned again and pulled into a station
at its base.
Shinji blinked. The train never, ever stopped
before.
Hikaru(Shinji): �Dear God.... is my mind finally expanding beyond
it�s one track?�
He got up, went to the door, and looked out. A
road led up the mountain. He thought about it and realized
Asuka hadn't told him what to do if the mountain actually
showed up.
Maya(Asuka): �Well, how was I to know that for once in his life
baka-Shinji would do something RIGHT?�
I wonder if there's a yogi who will tell me the
secret of life at the top, he thought as he started to walk
up the gently sloping cobblestone road. Probably he'll just
ask me how many licks to get to the center of a tootsie-pop.
Mercutio: The world may never know.
The road seemed endless; while it was an easy slope
spiraling up the mountain, it was also incredibly long.
Several times he passed steeper staircases and ladders cut
into the sides of the mountain, but he ignored them, not
feeling like going the hard way.
<All>: o//She�ll be coming round the mountain when she comes... o//
The easy way, however, was also proving to be the
slow way. He had circled the mountain at least eight times,
but he still hadn't reached the top. He looked back down
the mountain at the train station. It would be easier to go
back down, get on the train, and leave, then even to keep
going up this road.
Mercutio(Shinji): �I�ve been in a state of denial for fourteen years
now..... why ruin a good thing?�
But then Asuka would laugh at him...
Hikaru: News flash.... she�s going to laugh at you anyways.
With a sigh, he turned to the nearby steep staircase
and began to make his way up it. Soon, he was sweating; the
steps were huge, the angle was steep, and the sun had become
relentless. But he was making much better time.
Once he reached a high ledge, he sat down to rest.
"I didn't think a staircase could be so hard to climb."
Maya: It could just be that fact that you�re a 98-pound weakling,
you know.
He sat for a while, looking out across the
countryside. Rice fields, forest, hills, and a long beach
bordering the Pacific Ocean stretched out north and south to
the east of him. The train track wended its snakey way
through the countryside, though there were no buildings, no
towns, and no human habitation. Beautiful solitude, with
only the animals, the wind, the sun, and the long shadows of
the western mountains cast across the land as the sun sank.
Mercutio(Shinji): *Damn, but I�m bored.*
A few seconds later, he was back in bed, staring up
at the ceiling. I did it, he thought. I got to the
mountain! He jumped up, ran out into the hallway, threw
Asuka's door open and shouted, "I did it!"
Asuka, sprawled out on her futon with a stuffed cat
on her face,
Hikaru: This explains SO much....
sat up groggily. "Whu?"
"I got to the mountain!"
She stared at him. "Good job, Mohammed. Now let me
sleep." She flopped back onto her pillow. "We can talk
about it in the morning."
Shinji went back to bed and slept peacefully.
Maya(Rei): �Well, I�m going to have to remedy THAT immediatly....�
~*~
"You made it partway up the mountain?" Asuka asked
during breakfast.
"Yeah," Shinji said. "Is that good?"
"That's great!" I didn't even have to tell him, she
thought. Showing some initiative for once. "You have to
climb the mountain to the top. Once you do that, you'll be
ready for the next step." If I can remember the next step,
she thought. I hope I'm doing this right.
Maya(Misato): �For the last time, Asuka, Shinji�s mind is NOT
your plaything!�
"When you get to the top, ask the old man if he
knows any good auto body repairmen," Misato said. "I need
to get rid of some dents."
Hikaru(Shinji): �You�ve been hucking beer cans at it in a drunken
rage again, haven�t you Misato?�
Shinji laughed. "I have to find out how to get you
to do your chores first."
"Hey! I do my share of the work!"
"If you define 'share' as 'nothing'," Asuka said.
"Can you go shopping today? I made a list of stuff we
need."
"No problem. I have to go pick up some stuff,"
Misato said. "I have a little surprise for you tomorrow
afternoon." She winked.
Mercutio(Shinji): �I told you already, Misato, I�m flattered, but I
just don�t swing that way.�
"Ooh...I have to remember to watch the Shark Attack
Hour on the Discovery Channel tomorrow...Helga is going to
be on it!" Asuka smiled excitedly. "I ought to tape it."
Maya: �Shark Attack� Hour?
Mercutio: Apparently, the Discovery Channel has been bought
out by Fox. It could be worse.
Hikaru: Yeah, it could be �When Animals Attack Part XL: Revenge
of the Chipmunk.�
"Who?" Shinji asked.
"She's a marine biologist from NERV-Germany. They
filmed this a few weeks before I left; I've been wanting to
see it."
"Why was NERV employing a marine biologist?" Shinji
asked.
Maya(Asuka): �Something about a �master plan� for humanity;
I didn�t ask too many questions.�
"She was helping develop equipment for EVAs to
operate underwater. In fact, I think she was trying to
build one with gills or some such weird thing." Asuka
shrugged. "She had a great aquarium."
Maya(Asuka): �Sometimes, if I listened closely, I could almost
hear the fish screaming �help me! help meeeeeeee......�
~*~
Shinji brought the mail up to the apartment when he
and Asuka got home from school. They quickly sorted it.
Asuka had a letter from Anna and junk mail from a credit
card company, which she quickly tossed out, laughing.
Misato had a large pile of junk mail and bills. Shinji had
a single purple envelope with no return address. His name
was typed onto the envelope. "Weird." He tore it open and
found a greeting card. It showed two children playing in
the rain on the front. The printed message inside stated,
'Thinking of you on a rainy day.' Shinji blinked. It hadn't
rained in a week.
Hikaru(Shinji): *Mental Note; have tousan speak to the people in
charge of the weather machines.*
In addition to the printed message, someone had
composed a message by cutting out letters from magazines and
gluing them into the letter.
Mercutio: Is this a love note or a ransom demand?
They spelled out a haiku.
'Here is rain for you.
You make me feel these things
Do you feel them too?
A Secret Admirer.'
Shinji stared at the card. What the...here is rain?
Why would I want rain? Feel WHAT things? Is this a love
letter or a missive from a lunatic?
Mercutio: Why does there have to be a difference?
"Is it biting you?" Asuka asked.
"Eh?"
She got up and came around. "You're staring at it
like it's going to...ooh, a love card!" She grabbed it.
"Haiku. Here is rain for you? Is this some culture thing
foreigners can't get?"
Hikaru(Shinji): �Of course not, Asuka. What do you take us
for?� *Mental Note: The gaijin knows too much........*
He tried and failed to grab it. "I don't know!"
"Oooh, a secret admirer! That's so romantic!"
Misato surprised them both by stepping out of the
hallway and saying, "Shinji's got a secret admirer?"
"Yeah!" Asuka handed Misato the letter, holding
Shinji at arm's length. "You're a lucky guy, Shinji!"
She read the poem. "Hmm. This reads like something
Shinji would write. Did you send this to yourself?"
Mercutio(Shinji): �Of course not! Only a pathetic loser would do
that!!�
Maya(Misato): �Uh-huh. Try not to cut up any more of my
magazines, okay?�
~*~
"That's MY chair!" Asuka said, pointing at the
recliner, which Touji had snagged for himself. It was the
only nice chair in the entire apartment.
"Ain't got your name on it," he sneered.
"Touji! She had it first!" Hikari said from the
chair next to it.
The taping had turned into a 'Shark Attack' party,
and Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke had joined Asuka and Shinji.
Misato was in her room, fiddling with something she wouldn't
let them see which she had picked up the previous day.
Maya(Misato): �Stupid.... *ungh*.. stupid leather bustier.... ARGGH!!!
How the hell did I let Kaji talk me into this!?!??!�
Asuka looked over at Shinji. "Tell your friend the
moron to get out of the chair!"
"Umm...she was... er... there first," Shinji said,
with enough authority to not make an impression on Touji.
Mercutio(Shinji): *Feh. Just wait�ll my mail-order spine gets
here....*
"It ain't gonna kill her to sit on a wooden one!"
Touji said. "And my feet hurt, so I need to put 'em up."
"The show's starting!" Kensuke said. "Sit down and
be quiet so I can hear!"
Asuka fumed and sat down. "Thug."
The show soon started, and soon images of people
getting mauled and chased by sharks took control of the TV.
Hikaru: �Jaws XV: This Time, It�s Really, Really, REALLY
Personal.�
Shinji asked himself why he was watching this and failed to
get an answer. Kensuke and Touji started cheering the
sharks on.
"Be quiet!" Asuka shouted.
"Hey, I can't understand their English...they're
talking too fast," Touji said. "Nothing to do but cheer on
the sharks."
Mercutio&Hikaru(Kensuke&Touji): �Kill! Maim! Destory! Kill!
Maim! Destroy!�
"I'm getting a beer. Anyone else want one?"
Kensuke asked.
"You shouldn't drink up Katsuragi-san's beer!"
Hikari said.
"She doesn't mind," he replied, getting up.
Maya(Misato): *Mental Note: deliver swift and terrfying puishment
to Aida Kensuke.*
He then froze in place. "Uh... she..." Kensuke gaped and pointed.
Everyone turned around and saw Rei standing there,
wearing a wetsuit and carrying some diving gear. Hikari
said, "Going swimming?"
Misato stepped out of the hallway, also wearing a
wetsuit. Kensuke and Touji stared, as did Shinji, though
not so blatantly. She laughed and struck a magazine-style
pose, then laughed some more. "The Children and I are going
diving. The rest of you want to come along?"
"We're going diving?" Shinji said. Visions of shark
attacks danced in his head.
Mercutio: The sugarplums have the day off.
"I've never been diving."
"It's easy to learn," Misato said. "And since
you're going down underwater for your next mission, you need
to know how. �
~*~
The NERV van pulled up to the beach. It had been a
fairly lengthy drive, farther than the kids had thought
would be needed. They were just south of the ruins of
Tokyo; someone had set up a tent pavilion here, and two more
NERV vans were parked here.
It soon became obvious why. Maya and Ritsuko were
here, fiddling with some equipment set up on a table. Maya
was wearing a yellow one piece bathing suit with an
incongruous labcoat over it, although the fact that Ritsuko
had done the same thing with a blue bathing suit and labcoat
made it look a little less odd.
Mercutio: In your opinion, maybe.
Kaji was stretched out, shirtless, on a beach chair,
next to Aoba Shigeru, who was playing a catchy pop tune on
his guitar. A fishing pole and a tackle box lay in the sand
next to Kaji. Makoto was wearing a wetsuit; he was sprawled
out next to Aoba, half- asleep with a newspaper over his
face.
Mercutio: Wayyyyyyy to impress the ladies there, slick.
Asuka blinked. "Is this the NERV bridge beach party
or something?"
Hikaru: Time for Beach Blanket DEATH!!!!
Misato blinked as well. "Makoto."
He didn't answer.
"MAKOTO!"
Maya(Misato): �Obey me, bridge-boy!!�
He started up, snagged his leg, fell over and ended
up in the sand, face down. Finally, he got up. "When I
mentioned we were going diving..."
"I thought it would be a good idea to have a party,
since we all have the day off," Aoba said. "And Maya and
Akagi-san needed to test some equipment anyway, so..."
Maya: Actually, me and Sempai prefer to test our �equipment�
in dark places where we know we won�t be disturbed, but....
Asuka zoomed over to Kaji. "You'll be my diving
buddy, won't you?"
"Sorry, liebchen," he said. "I have a hard enough
time swimming in a pool. But I have an extra reel in the
car if you want to go fishing with me when you're done."
Maya: And yet another one of Asuka�s attempts to get Kaji
alone and strapped into a complex breathing apparatus fails.
"Sure!"
Hikari looked faintly disgruntled. "So much for..."
She turned to Touji. "Want to be my diving buddy?"
He blinked. "Who, me?"
"No, the evil kappa behind you. Yes, you."
Touji scratched his head. "Uh, sure."
"Hey, what about ME?" Asuka frowned at Hikari.
"You can...," Shinji began.
"And Rei and Asuka will be partners," Misato said.
Maya: *Uh-oh..... possibility of Asuka�s bloody, painful
death presents itself. Better intervene.*
Maya twitched faintly. "I think you should partner
Rei with Shinji and Asuka with Kensuke. Keep them
in...ummm...balance."
Ritsuko looked over at Maya, amused. "They're not a
math equation."
Maya(Ritsuko): �They�re guinea pigs. There�s a difference.�
Makoto came over to Misato, cleaning the sand off
his glasses. "I think Maya's suggestion is good. Shinji
needs an experienced partner."
Hikaru: Uhhhh...... there�s more than one way to take that....
"Hey, I've been diving four times!" Kensuke said.
"Rei has been learning since she was seven," Makoto
said. "She's better than you. And I'll go with Misato so
she doesn't drown."
"HEY!"
"You nearly got yourself caught in that reef last
time, you know," he said.
Maya(Misato): �That wasn�t my fault, I was drun- I mean, I
wasn�t paying attenti-....... you�re demoted!!!!�
"I've got as much experience as YOU do!" Misato
said. "And I'm the highest in rank! So there!"
He sighed. "Okay, so who do you want as your
partner?"
"You, of course. We've got to play instructor to
all the others. This way none of us is tied down with just
one person."
Hikaru(Makoto): �So, you�re into sharing then, Katsuragi-ichii?�
Maya laughed, and Makoto shook his head. "You're
confusing, Katsuragi-san."
"Just agree with what she says, then do what you
would do anyway, Makoto," Kaji said. "That's what I always
do."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Kaji! BE QUIET!" Misato said.
Maya(Misato): �Don�t make me hurt you! AndI mean in the bad way!�
~*~
Maya(Misato): �Okay, everybody, here are the rules: no leaving
your diving buddy, no going below 80 feet, no roughhousing,
and no hanging upside down and slowly rotating clockwise while
�Fly Me to the Moon� plays softly in the backgorund. Rei, this
means you.�
Wait for me!, Shinji thought as he paddled along
after Rei. She was zooming about like a fish, completely in
her element.
Mercutio: Ayanami Rei IS the new Aqualass!!
The ruins of Tokyo-1 were a little creepy, a
reminder of a great failure of humanity, and the loss of
millions of lives when it sank in a single night. They were
well lit, for the water was shallow, and the buildings far
apart here at the fringes. Many of them poked up above the
surface.
Moving with the tank on his back felt strange,
though it wasn't too much of a burden. He wished for a
moment that he was a fish, able to swim about without need for
tools and fake flippers. Rei would make a good fish, he
thought.
Hikaru: And for the third part in a row, Shinji COMPLETELY misses
the point.
She darted past him, her red eyes glinting almost
cheerily. I guess she really likes swimming, Shinji
thought. The pitch black wetsuit accented the pale skin of
her face and her blue hair. He found it a very pleasant
sight.
She circled around, and paused in front of him, then
beckoned him to follow her.
Maya(Rei): *Come to the Dark Side, Shinji......*
~*~
Makoto wished desperately he could speak underwater.
Being able to shout would have helped. The kids had
scattered all over, and it was running him ragged trying to
keep rounding them up. Misato looked harried as well. I
feel like we're the parents on _Six is Sweet_, he thought.
He got a mental image of himself and Misato married
and living in a nice little house like the one he had grown
up in, and he smiled.
Mercutio: Of course you realize, three seconds later he was
fantasizing about her wearing nothing but one of those frilly
little housewife aprons and a smile.
Sometimes I envy Shinji, getting to
live with her, he thought. He watched her waggling a finger
at Kensuke, who had been trying to get into one of the
buildings, and he laughed. We should have picked a site
further away if we'd known they'd all be coming.
Still, the Children would have to go into a ruins,
so they needed the practice. Kensuke probably had some
crazy idea about trying to get Asuka to make out with him.
Hikaru(Kensuke): �I�m crazy, NOT suicidal.�
Makoto couldn't blame him; he'd had a few fantasies about
doing that with Misato himself on times they had gone
diving.
At least I've got a chance to show her I'm more
responsible than her ex-boyfriend, he thought. Assuming
they're still ex. He had seen them kissing, and he wasn't
sure what was going on.
Hikaru:<blinks> I thoughjt only the Children had seen the kiss
scene. Unless Makoto was hiding behind the scenes following
Misato around.
Mercutio: You know, they still haven�t adequatly explained
that kiss. I mean, the normal order of Misato�s affections is
NOT �hate him hate him hate him hate him passionate make-out
scene hate him hate him....�
Maya: You�re right; it�s normallly more along the lines of �hate him
hate him hate him hate him hate him several weeks of mad
passionate sticky love shoot him.�
Maybe I should ask Shinji, he thought.
~*~
Asuka frowned slightly. Why do I feel so...
uncomfortable? I like to swim. She had a vague feeling of
lurking doom, as if the water...didn't like her or
something. Which was ludicrous.
Mercutio: Sure, she thinks it�s ludicrous NOW, but just wait till
Rei tries to maul her like an alligator a couple times.
Kensuke tapped her on the shoulder. She turned,
wishing she could talk without drowning. He pointed and she
looked.
A large school of iridescent fish were swimming in
and out of the broken doors and windows of a nearby former
store. They were beautiful and apparently quite unafraid of
humans.
Hikaru: Well, of course. If us puny mortals try anything stupid,
they�ll just sic Dagon and/or Hydra on us.
For a few seconds, she and Kensuke simply watched
them.
The ruins, in Asuka's mind, changed from a haunted
place to feeling more like a sort of giant aquarium. She
almost expected to see an abandoned diving suit nearby, or
to look up and see a giant hand dropping flakes in the
water. She grinned and gave Kensuke a thumbs up.
Maya: At this precise instant, Gendo thought he heard a noise
coming from inside his personal aquarium.
Mercutio(Gendo): <stares hard at pair of tiny ornamental diving
figures>
Hikaru(Gendo): *Nahhhhh....... The books must just be getting to
me again. I hope.*
~*~
Kaji sat up and went to his car. "You should be out
in the water, Rits-chan. I don't think I've ever seen you
be at the beach for more than ten minutes without jumping
in."
Maya: You just want to see her in a wet, clingy bathing suit,
you pig.
Hikaru: Are you saying that _you_ don�t?
Maya: Uhhhhhhhh..... <blushes>
"I have no intention of swimming," Ritsuko said,
gazing at the sea with a bit of a longing look, like she was
denying herself candy. "Maya and I are here to do work,
unlike you. We're just suited up since we'll likely have to
get wet."
Maya: �I�ll get wet with you anytime, Sempai!!�
"Playing with that sonar thing again?" Aoba asked.
"Something's interfering with it," Maya said, "But
yes. We've planted some drones that are going around,
testing it. It's called Hypersonar." She glared at the
monitor, which kept fuzzing out.
Hikaru: Just whack it a couple times; it works with my TV.
"You used to love to swim," Kaji said. "I remember
the time you went topless at that one beach."
Maya: Flashback scene!!! Please, for the love of GOD, flashback
scene!!!!!
Everyone swiveled and stared at Ritsuko, who caved
in on herself slightly. "So did Misato...everyone was like
that!"
"Sempai! That was daring!" Maya said, smiling.
Maya: *Mental Note; ask Kaji for any pictures he might have....*
"Better not tell Makoto," Aoba said. "He'd die
because he missed that."
Kaji began walking down to the shore with the toy he
had gotten out of the car. "This won't interfere with your
test, will it?"
"I don't think so," Maya said. "In fact, you can
use it to help us!"
Maya: �We�ve determined that the Children have yet to recieve
their daily quota of angst. If you could just terrorize Shinji a little
bit.....�
~*~
It's creepy, looking at all these sunken buildings,
Touji thought. He glanced over at Hikari, who was looking
at a shop front window. Somehow it survived intact, and some
decade and a half old dresses were still standing on
mannequins in a store. He shook his head; leave it to a
girl to find dresses in a sunken city, he thought. She'll
want to try them on next.
Hikaru: The new Cthulhu Fashions Line, by Donna Karan. It�ll drive
your friends simply _mad_.
He looked down the street and saw a shape move
through the next intersection. It had been gray with
streaks. Somehow familiar... a really BIG fish.
Then it circled back, and he recognized it. A
shark. He poked Hikari in the shoulder. She turned around,
looking irritated, so he grabbed her and started swimming.
Maya(Hikari): �Hey!! I told you, not on the first date!!�
She would have yelled at him if they could speak. Then she
noticed what was following them, and she started swimming as
well.
No way we can outswim this thing, he thought. We've
got to split up or take cover or something, he thought.
Hikaru: We are sooooo shark bait, he thought.
He pointed to a building, and they swam through the door, then
slammed it.
He waited for the thing to try to ram down the door,
bracing himself against the metal. No shark.
After a while, he looked out through a crack. No
shark.
He waved for Hikari to move back, then stuck his
head out. No shark.
Mercutio: Thank you for demonstrating your grasp of the complete
obvious.
They headed out into the street and looked around.
It was gone. They stared at each other, then started
heading back towards the beach. A few seconds later, Makoto
swum into sight, and a game of underwater charades began.
Hikaru(Makoto): *Let�s see..... one word, one syllable.... big gray
fish, dorsal fin, predator..... damn, what ARE they trying to say?*
~*~
Soon, a stream of would-be divers erupted from the
water, fleeing up onto the shore. Touji shouted, "Shark!
Shark!"
Maya giggled. "Uh huh. And a wolf too, I'm sure."
Mercutio(Touji): �Gee, thanks ever-so-much for making light
of my personal terror.�
Kaji shook his head. "No wolves around here."
Aoba said, "Can't fool us!" He started playing the
theme song from Jaws, laughing.
<All>: o// nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.... o//
More people came out of the water. Misato did a
quick head count. "We missed Rei and Shinji!"
"Damn it," Makoto said, turning around. "I'll find
them."
"You stay here, I'll go."
"Better I risk my life than you. You're the
tactical commander; I'm just your assistant," he said.
Hikaru:(Makoto) �..... and love slave. Ooops, did I say that out
loud?�
They stared at each other. Finally, Misato said,
"We'll both go. They're my responsibility."
~*~
Shinji stared at the kanji painted on the side of
the building he and Rei were next to. Some of it had
eroded, but he could still read some of it. 'The Yellow
Sign rises in place of <something garbled>. The stars move.
The time of <something garbled> has ended. After winter,
summer, after summer, winter. All is <extremely garbled>'
Hikaru: Yes, at this point all IS extremely garbled.
The end of the 'message' was eroded beyond recognition,
except for a strange scrawled sigil, an eye of flame in the
heart of a five pointed star. Rei had pulled him over to
it, but couldn't tell him why.
Maya(Rei): *Know thy enemy....*
He turned to her questioningly, and she stared at
him. Her right hand rested on the sigil, her left drifted
freely. Then it came around, and pulled his right hand over
to touch it. For a moment, he felt a strange thrill, as if
the wall had tried to jolt him.
Mercutio(Elder Sign): *Damn!!!! Not enough energy to blast them
into dust......where the HELL is Nodens when I really need him?*
She guided his hand along
the contours of the sign. The wall was pitted and eroded,
but the sign remained vibrant, and seemed even brighter,
somehow, where they had touched it.
Just as they were about to trace over the eye, he
saw the shark. It was a fair distance away, swimming
languidly towards them. He jerked back and pointed. Rei
turned and saw the shark and began to swim towards it.
Maya(rei): *Finally. It�s been days since I�ve tasted the sweet
hot embrace of blood.....*
Maybe she DOES think she's some undersea princess,
he thought. He wanted to run away, but he didn't want to
leave Rei to face it alone. He compromised by not moving,
placing his hand on the oddly comforting sigil.
Hikaru(Elder Sign): *Sorry, loser-boy, you�re going to have to
protect yourself, �cause _I_ ain�t helping....*
A few seconds later, Makoto came round the corner,
then turned to wave off the way he came. He came over to
Shinji, pointed at the shark, then gawked as Rei swam up to
it and poked it in the eye. It tried to swim away, and she
grabbed it.
Maya: Thus began Rei�s introduction to the wondeful world of
shark-baiting, gator-wrestling, and other forms of marine animal
abuse.
Misato came around the corner just in time to see
Rei swimming towards them, dragging the shark by the tail.
It thrashed about, so she stopped and broke its tail. A
black fluid leaked out of a rip in it, and began to rise
slowly, feathering out into rivulets of dark liquid.
Hikaru: This�s gotta violate about twelve different toxicology
regulations.....
Shinji stared at the liquid. It wasn't LCL, it
was...
~*~
"KAJI, YOU DIE!" Misato stormed out of the water.
"Where the hell did you get a mechanical shark, anyway?"
"You'd be amazed how much weird stuff is stashed
away if you can find the right storage room in NERV," Kaji
said.
Mercutio: Gee, what could this be? <coughcoughforshadowingcough>
"You didn't have to break it."
Maya(Rei): �Yes. I did.� <stares at Kaji>
"It could have been hostile," Rei said, dumping it
on the beach.
"I think it's funny," Asuka said, laughing.
"I think we should throw Kaji out in the ocean
without his swim trunks," Hikari said.
Misato grinned. "Perfect."
It was fortunate that Kaji could run quickly.
Maya(Asuka): �Does this mean I don�t get to take off his swim
trunks after all?�
~*~
Ritsuko and Maya had taken over the beach chairs
somewhat later, while most of the assembled company were
swimming, except for Asuka who was cooking dinner with help
from Aoba. Pleasant, though unfamiliar smells were drifting
towards them. Maya said, "I guess the next step is to build
the EVA sized units."
Maya(Ritsuko): �Actually, the next step is to hold Shinji down
while we graft gills onto him, but yes, that EVA thing could work,
too.�
"And to field test those. And to build a larger
version of the mechanical shark to use as a hunting
subject." Ritsuko sniffed the air. "Been a while since I
last had sauerkraut."
"Is that what I'm smelling?" She looked over at the
grill. "Where did Asuka find that thing, anyway?"
Maya: �I think she built it from the remnants of the shark.....�
"Aoba brought it. I think he planned to make some
okonomiyaki with it, but Asuka had other ideas. Now, how
she knew he would bring a grill...don't ask me." Ritsuko
shrugged. "I won't complain."
"Are you sure you don't want to swim?"
"Yes," Ritsuko said. "I don't like brine." Her
voice took on a bit of a sharp edge. "And I can swim all I
want back at the Geofront anyway."
Hikaru: Methinks the lady doth protest to much.....
Maya: Are you insinuating something about sempai? <glares
dangerously>
Hikaru: Uhhhh..... I�m going to go with �no.�
She looked at Touji and Kensuke, who were having a race.
"I'd just get in the children's way, anyway."
Maya blinked, then frowned. "I knew I had forgotten
something."
Ritsuko cocked her head. "You have children you
forgot about?"
Maya laughed, as did Ritsuko. "No, Rei came in for
her checkup and..."
Maya(Ristsuko): �Oh, Maya, you did that thing with the glove
again, didn�t you? We�ve TOLD you about that.....�
"She's not starting to degenerate like DAGON subject
32, is she?" Ritsuko frowned. "You should have told me
before."
Maya shook her head fervently. "No. It's not
physical. Not directly. I mean...the machine pretty much
told me about part of it, but...She has a crush on Shinji,
and she's jealous of Asuka."
Maya(Asuka): �Ha!! As if I�d lower myself to turnip-boys level
by dating with him....�
Ritsuko stared intensely at Maya. "Are you sure?"
"She said she wanted to kill Asuka. And the feeling
comes on whenever Asuka touches Shinji." Maya frowned.
"With most children her age, I would be sure she is
exaggerating, but...Rei doesn't exaggerate."
"And you didn't tell me this?" Ritsuko fought to
keep her voice low. "What did you tell her?"
Maya: �Well, I gave her a set of Ginsu knifves, and a copy of the
movie �Silence of the Lambs.� Was that a mistake?�
"I forbade her to kill Asuka. And that Shinji would
be very unhappy if she did that. So would everyone else.
The creepiest part was that she didn't understand why she
wanted to kill Asuka. She can't quite understand she has a
crush on Shinji."
"Are you sure that's it?"
"Why else would she care? And just asking about him
caused her to have a physical reaction. Of course, it could
be that she just doesn't understand her own feelings about
Asuka either."
Maya: �It�s too bad we can�t psychoanalyze her, but the last
Doctor we tried ran screaming into the night halfway through
the first session.....�
"Or it could wreck everything," Ritsuko said. "I
wouldn't care if Rei simply hated Asuka, though I'd rather
they all like each other. But if Rei has actually reached
the point of saying that...This could be disastrous. She's
losing her balance."
"Well, I think she'd be better off if she wasn't so
passive, but...better passive than homicidal."
Maya(Rei): �But I _like_ my blood-soaked rampages....�
"I will talk to her. I have a few ideas for things
that might help. It may simply be jealousy. I hope you're
right. Do you have any idea how the boy feels about her?"
Maya tapped her cheek thoughtfully. "I don't know
for sure, but I think he does like her. Just look at how
comfortable he is around her." She pointed out at the
playing children. "I think they've all gotten more
comfortable with her."
Mercutio(Shinji): �Actually, we�ve just been _really_ lucky with
our SAN checks lately....�
"She needs human contact," Ritsuko said. "But it's
also dangerous to her, I think. We all have monsters
lurking inside us; I fear Rei's may devour her if we handle
this poorly." Her voice wobbled slightly. "And if she goes
out of control..."
"What can I do, Sempai?"
"You can start by never forgetting anything this
important again."
Maya: �So, I probably should have told you about the well-dressed
gentleman with the black eyes whose been telling me to kill you
all, shouldn�t I?�
Hikaru(Ritsuko): �Umm, yes. That would fall in the category of
�important.��
Maya blushed.
~*~
Makoto picked up his mail. Most of it was junk
mail, but one letter came in a purple envelope and smelled
faintly of lilacs.
'Dear Makoto,
I have finished the first draft of 'Forbidden Love
in NERV', the story I'm writing about a romance between two
fictional EVA pilots, inspired by the stories you told me. I
will be in Tokyo-3 in a few weeks; I'd like to drop you off
a copy to look at. I need help making the action scenes
more realistic; I don't know much about how things operate.
Maya(Akane): �So if you could just fax me some copies of NERV
procedures, and maybe some of those classified EVA protocols,
it would help my conspiracy- I mean, my novel, a lot.�
Or at least so they SEEM realistic. Most people don't know
much about how you run things either.
How are things going with you and Misato? I suggest
you start a secret admirer type thing if you haven't made
any progress. See if she finds that exciting.
Maya(Akane): �Also, up your stalking schedule from three to five
days a week That should REALLY impress her.�
You can always cut it off without losing any face if she doesn't
respond, and it just might get you where you want to be!
Anyway, I hope to see you! Give me a call at
555-975-9066, or you can email me at Akane@Ozaka.Net. Well,
I'm going parachuting. See you!
Hugs and Kisses,
Akane Toshiba'
Mercutio: Okay, is there anybody around who DOESN�T realize yet
that she�s an agent of some sort of higher, and most likely extremely
destructive, power?
Maya: No, I pretty much got that part about three seconds after she
showed up.
Hikaru: Me too.
Mercutio: Cool. Just checking.
~*~
Shinji came out to the kitchen to get a drink of
water before bed while Asuka was showering. Misato had
changed into a set of actual pajamas. And she was wearing
her amulet. With a start, he suddenly realized....
"That...there was something like that where Rei beat up the shark."
Misato blinked. "Something like what?"
"Your amulet. There was some freaked out message
about winter and summer and rising signs and something. And
a thing like that."
"Weird. Continuing your dream training tonight?"
Mercutio: Sure, ignore the signifigance. THAT won�t come back and
bite you in the ass later.....
He nodded. "Climbing the mountain."
"I had to go down a staircase," Misato said. "Ever
down into the dark."
Maya(Misato): �And then there was this weird Gate, and a green
flame, and a whole bunch of funky Priests, but they wouldn�t share
any of their sacramental wine with me, so I came back.�
He blinked. "You've done this?"
"I used to have horrible nightmares after...Second
Impact. I was there, you know."
"WHAT?" He stared in surprise. "In Antarctica?"
Maya(Misato): �Of course. Haven�t I shown you my �I Was Scarred
For Life at The Mountains of Madness, and All I Got Was This
Lousy T-shirt� t-shirt?�
"I was the only survivor. I still can't remember
most of it. But the dreams were awful. Ritsuko taught me
how to stop them in college. I mostly dream about food and
friends and driving now. What do you dream about, Shinji?"
"Riding on a maglev train."
"And?"
Hikaru(Shinji): �Well, sometimes for variety it�s a monorail instead of
maglev.....�
He looked embarrassed. "That's the happy one. The
other ones get disturbing, but...I think this mountain thing
may actually work.".
~*~
The next day, Shinji had other things on his mind,
like the three people bearing down on him at high speed. I
hate soccer, Shinji thought, looking around desperately for
someone to pass to.
Mercutio(Shinji): �Where�s Pele when it really _counts_, eh?�
He spotted a reporter...Megumi
something or another...at the edge of the field, taking
pictures. Now what's she up to, he wondered.
Maya(Megumi): *Now, all I have to do is take shots back to
the office,photoshop in glowing eyes and an eight-inch tongue,
and that �Ikari Shinji: Eva Pilot, or Alien Love Child?� story is
good to go.....*
This took just long enough for a kid named Youta to
steal the ball from him. "Hey!" Shinji ran over, but Youta
passed to another kid, and soon the other team scored.
"Whadya zone out for?" Touji asked Shinji while the
game raged around them.
Hikaru(Shinji): �Ah, gomen..... the hallucinogens are affecting
my higher brain functions again.�
"That reporter's here again," Shinji said,
pointing. But now she was gone.
"I ain't seeing nothing," Touji said. "Rei didn't
do nothing to ya, did she?"
Mercutio(Shinji): �Not that I can _prove,_ no.�
"Huh?"
"No magic whammies?"
"What are you TALKING about?"
"Dunno. I wouldn't be surprised if she did magic on
the side.�
Maya(Rei): <leafs through the Necronomicon> �Now I _know_
there was a section on tantric sex magik in here.......�
*Whack!* Luckily, touching the ball with your head is legal in
soccer. This doesn't make it feel good, though. Touji fell down.
"Take it, Shinji!"
Shinji blinked. The ball was at his feet, and the
five man line of the other team was boring down on him,
while his three other teammates yelled at him to do
something. He kicked wildly, the ball soaring over the wave
of humanity, zooming down the field, and bouncing into the
net while the goalie was still trying to accept that Shinji
had actually managed a kick like that.
Mercutio: Hell, everybody gets a good Luck roll in once in
awhile.....
The onrushing horde paused, turned, stared, then
turned back and stared again.
~*~
Asuka charged down the field with the soccer ball,
having broken through the pathetic defense of the opposing
team. Hikari loped along beside her; they had left the rest
of their own team behind as well. Only one thing stood in
the way of her scoring.
Rei was the other team's goalie, and she was good.
Rei's team had scored five goals to Asuka's team's two,
Hikaru: Hey, whoa, NO soccer game has a score that goes that high.
And speaking as someone who once spent three hours watching
Uruguay and Paraguay battle to a scoreless tie, I should know.
and the reason was that Rei had stopped a good dozen shots that
might have scored. Asuka had a simple plan. Drive forward,
set up for what would look like a shot by herself, but
instead pass to Hikari and let Hikari take the shot at a
different angle. Ideally, Rei would move to block Asuka's
shot.
Maya: Oh, this is a good decision on Asuka�s part: either make Rei
look incompetent, or give her the oppurtunity to arc an extremely
hard object straight at her.
Time seemed to slow down. Asuka moved in, and Rei
responded by moving over. Then Asuka twisted her leg around
and passed instead of punting. Hikari spun slightly and
took the shot.
And Rei was over, positioned perfectly to block
Hikari faster than Asuka could blink. Her leg reared back
to kick the ball, even as the ball left Hikari's foot. As
time continued to slow,
Maya(Asuka): *Dammit, who�s playing with the super slo-mo
button on reality again!?!?*
Hikaru (Gendo): *Heh heh heh......*
Asuka knew the ball was going to
come right at her. It was still possible to take the kick
with her head and bat it in, though it would hurt like hell
and maybe not even work.
It was a stupid gamble; she took it. The ball arced
up towards her forehead, and as it struck her brow,
Maya(Rei): �BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!!!�
she wondered why Rei hadn't simply caught it and gone for a
longer kick. The pain was incredible, like being slammed
with a hammer, but the ball arced off and zoomed into the
net, rolling off Rei's shoulder as she tried to intercept
it. Then Asuka fell to the ground and passed out.
~*~
She woke up in the school clinic with Rei and Hikari
seated nearby watching her. Hikari said, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Her head didn't even hurt. "I can't
even feel it."
Hikaru: Perhaps Rei felt guilty and used some Spawn-like healing
powers on her....
Mercutio: This assumes Rei has the capacity to feel.
"You shouldn't have done that!"
"I do what I have to do to win," Asuka said. "And
I feel fine."
"Rei, you shouldn't have kicked it at her head!"
Hikari said.
Maya: The Children take their gym-class soccer very seriously,
don�t they?
"She knew the risk." Rei's voice was calm, her face
expressionless.
"Rei, that..."
Asuka shook her head. "She's right. I'd have done
the same thing if she'd been charging me. It wasn't like
she wanted to kill me or something."
Mercutio: And Rei tries desperatly to look innocent while
nonchalantly replacing the scalpels she�d taken from a nearby
drawer.
Rei started slightly. Hikari laughed. "True. So
when are you going to wear that dress you bought, Rei?"
Rei asked, "When should I?"
"..."
Asuka said, "Well, you can't wear it to school, but
some time when you want to impress someone, you ought to
wear it."
Hikaru: You know, I desperatly want to make a snide observation
about Rei and Gendo here, and yet, I can�t think of a thing.
"Like Shinji," Hikari said, smiling slightly.
Asuka nodded. "Yeah, we could all tell Shinji liked
seeing you in it. Hmm...I've been wanting to do a date with
Kaji. We could set up a double date with him and me and you
and Shinji. Sound good to you, Rei?" Here's where she just
stares at me, Asuka thought.
Mercutio: Oh, you can predict that response with a reasonable
degree of certainty to ANY question put to Rei.
"When?"
"Next weekend?"
"Okay." Rei turned and left.
Hikari watched her go. "She's weird."
"I guess Shinji has weird tastes. Maybe he just
likes her body. She is cute, although I'm better looking
than her."
"All hail goddess Asuka, Norse Goddess of Love,"
Hikari said. "Will you carry me to Valhalla on your winged
horse now?"
Maya (Urd): �Hey, quit trying to horn in on my racket,
ubermenshen!!!�
~*~
Misato plunked down the mail just before they were
going to eat. "Hmm. Two anonymous purple envelopes. One
for Shinji, one for me."
Mercutio: Apparently, Rei and Makoto use the same stationary
shop.
Kaji laughed. "Someone's in love with you AND
Shinji?"
"How'd you know about..." Shinji asked.
"Asuka asked me to help her figure out who sent you
that card."
Hikaru(Shinji): �Oh, and now the whole office knows, don�t they?�
Shinji ground his teeth and opened the card while
Misato opened hers and oohed and ahhed over it. This one
showed Dorothy asleep in the poppy fields. On the inside
was printed, 'Dreaming of you'. The poem made of snipped
letters read,
'You make me forget
Why it is that I exist
You make me feel good.
A Secret Admirer'
Maya: Actually, that�s pretty normal and non-threatening. Good
for Rei.
Asuka tried to grab it, but Shinji sat on it.
"Asuka!"
"Hey, I'm just trying to help you!"
Kaji tapped his chin. "Let's see...it's a bisexual
bad poet. That rules out Pen-Pen."
Hikaru: I�d think it would make him a MORE likely suspect,
actually.
Misato and Shinji thwacked him in unison.
~*~
Shinji knocked on Rei's door. After a long pause,
he heard footsteps, and she opened it, staring at him. He
said, "Hi. I...uh...wanted to ask about why you took me to
see that thing on the wall. Do you know what it is?"
Maya(Rei): *Hm. Explain about Elder Gods, or stall?*
"Katsuragi-san wears one. I thought she had put
that there for us to find."
Shinji nodded. "Did you understand it?"
"The seasons."
Hikaru: And Rei wonders why she has such trouble in her Lit
class.....
That part had been pointless, but comprehensible, he
agreed. "I guess it was just a coincidence. Misato didn't
know anything about it."
"There are no coincidences." Her voice was level,
making him wonder if she was saying there had to be some
meaning to it.
Maya(Rei): *Perhaps I should cease messing with his head.*
"So you think it means something?"
"It meant something once." Silence.
Maya(Rei): *Or perhaps not.*
"Umm...have you done the math homework?" He glanced
around, feeling silly standing in the doorway.
"No."
"Wanna...er...do it together?"
She looked at his hands. "You don't have books."
Mercutio(Shinji): �Oh, I�ve got books, baby. Heh heh heh.�
Hikaru: Merc! Stop that NOW! Geez......
"Well...we'd need to go back to my place."
"Wait." She closed the door, and he heard her
footsteps recede. Then they drew closer again, the door
opened, and she came out, carrying a briefcase, which she
was in the process of closing. He caught a glimpse of
something that looked like 'Vogue', but he assumed it
couldn't possibly be.
For a moment, he had a mental image of Rei hiding in
the dark under the sheets of her bed, reading Vogue by
flashlight and giggling to herself, then carefully hiding
the magazine and faking emotionlessness when Akagi-san came
in to check on her. He laughed loudly at the thought.
Mercutio: Apparently, John and/or Rod has been reading �The Secret
Desire of Ayanami Rei.�
Hikaru: The one where we find out she�s a closet beautician?
Maya: Exactly. Good story, that.
Rei glanced over at him, but said nothing.
As they walked, Shinji began to feel curious as to
what exactly he had glimpsed. I suppose I could ask her, he
thought. Somehow, he just couldn't quite do that, though.
He tried to think of something to talk about. "How many
more Angels do you think there will be?"
"Ten."
He blinked. "Just Ten?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Maya(Rei): �Because the strange duo of college students who
speak to me in my head have revealed the sacred mysteries of
P�lot to me.�
"I don't know."
They walked in silence for a while after that, then
Shinji blurted out, "Do you really have an issue of Vogue in
your bag?"
"Maya said to study it."
Maya: One of these days I�m gonna have to have a looooonnnnggg
talk with that counterpart of mine....
~*~
"So who do YOU think Shinji's secret admirer is?"
Asuka asked Rei as the three of them rode up the elevator to
get into their entry plugs. They were on their way to do
some special training in their EVAs.
Mercutio: Gendo wants then to practice squishing civilians for fun
and profit.
"A secret," Rei replied.
"Well, DUH!" Asuka shouted.
"Can we discuss SOMETHING ELSE?" Shinji asked.
Mercutio(Shinji): �Why does everybody have such a morbid
interest in my love life?�
"Okay, who do you think is Misato's secret admirer?"
Asuka asked.
"I don't know, but she sure is enjoying it," Shinji
said.
"There's a lesson for you, you know. You should
LIKE having a secret admirer," Asuka said.
Hikaru(Shinji): �Hey, I�ve invested my entire life into
building this shell around me, and if you think I�m coming
out NOW......�
"I didn't say I didn't like it! I just don't want
you reading my mail!"
"Do you... like it?" Rei asked.
Maya: For someone as lacking in social skills as Rei, she
managed to be pretty subtle about that.
Shinji blushed. "I never had one before. I never
thought that..." He blushed more. "It is kind of nice."
~*~
The underwater exercise went well.
~*~
Kensuke, Touji, and Shinji lay in a field on the
outskirts of the city goofing off when they were supposed to
be studying, watching the clouds drift by instead. "I envy
you, man," Kensuke said.
"Why?" Shinji asked.
"I think deep sea diving is cool. I bet you'll
probably meet a mermaid or something," Kensuke said.
Hikaru: They�ll definitly be meeting a �something,� oh yes.
"Or find some golden treasure. I wish I could pilot an EVA."
"I wish you could do it for me. LCL is disgusting.�
Mercutio(Shinji): �I could really go for some of that �Tang�
flavored stuff from canon right about now.....�
"I wish I got to live with a babe like you do,"
Touji said.
"Yeah, but you'd be living with Asuka too," Kensuke
said. "I wouldn't mind, but I think you two would kill each
other."
Hikaru: I�d pay money to watch that fight......
"Naah. I'd get Shinji to go out with her so she'd
focus on him while I got Misato," Touji said.
Shinji laughed. "I don't think Misato dates people
our age." I wonder if he's Misato's secret admirer. He
laughed. As long as he isn't mine...
Mercutio: Interesting; apparently, Shinji DOESN�T have latent
homosexual tendencies in this universe...... �Tep will be so
disappointed.
"Hey, a man can dream a noble dream!" Touji said,
shaking his fist at the sky. "It'd beat living with my dad
the prick anyway." He snarled. "Bastard won't even go see
my sister. Says she's already dead."
Maya: What IS it with Evangelion parents and child neglect? Is
there something in the air there that does this to them or something?
Shinji blinked. "What?"
"Mom was like that for a while before she died, but
I mean...she and Mom didn't get hurt the same way." He
sighed. "Mom just breathed in the wrong chemicals. She
died a lot faster than my sister. I mean...Miki's been in
the hospital a lot longer than it took Mom to die."
Hikaru: Again with the chemicals. Hmm.
Mercutio: At some point, I�d like to hear more about this �accident�
that took out so many important people in CoaEG.
~*~
Asuka pirouetted on the deck for Kaji as the sun was
setting. She was wearing a white sundress with red tongues
of flame dotting it, and a matching white hat. "How do I
look?"
"You missed a step," he said, laughing.
"I meant the dress!"
"It's very nice, though not too practical for deep
sea diving," he said, leaning back on his deck chair.
Several crewmen stared at both of them and grumbled, then
moved on.
Mercutio: You�d think they�d be ogling Asuka; they ARE sailors
after all, and it must get miggghhhhtttyyyyy lonely on the open
water.
She came over and sat down on the one next to him.
"Do you think we're ready for this?"
"Nope." He said.
She frowned. "Then why are we going?"
"You'll never really be ready. Not when we can't be
sure what we're fighting or where they come from. The
universe is a large scary place, and we're really tiny.�
<All>: o// It�s a great big universe, and we�re all really puny, o//
o// We�re just tiny little specks, o//
o// About the size of Mickey Rooney... o//
�We can't even be sure if the rest of the universe obeys the
same laws as ours. Certainly the Angels you've fought so
far...we can't explain how they do what they do."
Now she felt a little worried. Usually he was much
more confident.
Hikaru(Kaji): �I�m sorry; I�m just brooding more than usual on my
imminent demise today.�
"Do you really think we're going to lose?"
"I fear we will lose. I hope we will win. You're
carrying the weight of the world, Asuka. If you die,
there's no one to replace you. Not yet. And there's no way
of knowing how many of these things there are, or if they'll
get lucky and nail one of you." He turned to face her.
"Gertrude would never forgive me if I let you die."
Hikaru: <nods> Kaji is wise to fear the Germans.
"I'm not going to die," she said. "You...you'd miss
me if I died, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would. I'd only have Misato left to
tease for one thing; Rits-chan won't take my bait anymore."
Maya: As if sempai would lower herself to compete with your
verbal barbs. She�s much too superior for that. <goes starry eyes>
Sempai, sempai.... ohhhhhh.....
Hikaru: Isn�t this joke getting old by now?
Mercutio: You�d think so, but no.
She'd hoped for him to say something more romantic
than that. "I'd miss you a lot if you died."
"Let's not give the universe any hints, okay?" he
said.
Mercutio(Azathoth): �Too late!!! TOO LATE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!�
The sun finished setting, and the red sky faded to
darkness. One by one, the stars came out, and Asuka settled
down to watch them and listen to the sea. I wonder what Rahab
will be like, she thought. That was the name of their next
target, the Angel of the Sea.
Mercutio: Interstingly enough, �Rahab� can also be interpreted to
mean �violence.�
Probably going to be a great white
whale, she thought.
~*~
Diving in an EVA had several advantages. No worries
about the bends, for one thing. The pressure in the entry
plug would never change and an EVA could handle the outside
pressure with ease. No need to stick close to an aircord or
anything. However, they did need power, which effectively
was the same thing. There was a cable for each of them, and
a fourth one which held several powerful explosive charges;
EVAs weren't likely to fit through any doors they found, and
they hadn't come to do archaeology.
Hikaru: Pity. You�d think Gendo would be supremely interested in
anything they unearthed down there.
Maya: This is Ikari-shirei we�re talking about; he�d have recovered
anything good ages ago and moved it to his own private inner
sanctum.
Another advantage was that EVAs could carry BIG
lights. Each of them had the largest headlamps in the
history of the world. It was like having a portable sun.
They could see the ruins as they descended into it. It sat
at the base of a mountain, spreading out along three roads
away from the plaza that sat at the point of the mountain's
base directly below a building that perched halfway up the
mountain on a small plateau. A great gully ran through the
city that must have once been a river.
The buildings were of stone, with odd gaps between
them in some places. The gaps were not ruined buildings,
simply empty spaces with no coherent pattern.
Hikaru: So the entire city is some kind of huge-ass sigil?
The buildings themselves were made of many kinds of
stone, from basalt to granite to a handful of buildings faced
with marble. Most were only two or three stories high at best,
though near the plaza some rose as high as ten stories,
interconnected by now broken walkways above the level of
the road.
Asuka said, "Hey, Rei, is this your underseas
kingdom?"
Maya(Rei): �WHO TOLD YO-- I mean, no. Of course not.�
<sweatdrops>
Shinji laughed. "Rei is from Atlantis, not Mu."
"Mu?"
"I don't see any cows," Shinji said, laughing.
Asuka frowned. _Someone_ was showing a bit more
spine than usual at _her_ expense. "Don't make fun of me!
What is Mu?"
Mercutio: Shinji will now explain for the benefit of the Mythos-
impaired.
"In the nineteenth century, a man named Colonel
Churchward claimed to have deciphered a set of tablets
Hikaru: The Nacaal Key.
which told the story of a continent named Mu in the Pacific Ocean,
which had once held a great civilization, then sank into the
ocean. He was generally laughed at because of two reasons.
First, his method of translating them basically involved a
lot of mysticism since it was a supposedly dead language,
and secondly, he couldn't produce the tablets."
Maya: For those of our readers who know more about Eva than
Lovecraft, and would like additional information about Mu and
Churchward, we reccomend the story �The Fishers From Outside,�
by Lyn Carter.
"Sounds to me like he made it up."
"Well, unless he built this city too, he must have
known something."
Maya(Ritsuko): *Their specualtions are coming too close to target.
Must distract them with seemingly relevant yet subtly misleading
info.*
"There are other writings besides his which speak of
Mu," Ritsuko said over the comlink. "While this city may or
may not have ever been part of a kingdom named Mu, it does
show there's some truth to the legend. Indeed, it's
possible that Atlantis and Mu are simply both distorted
versions of the same truth--this city, whatever it may be
named."
Rei pointed at the building on the mountainside.
"Looks Mayan."
Maya: Nooooo, _I_ look Mayan. <rimshot>
It was a huge step pyramid, taller than the EVAs,
though not by much, sitting on a small plateau, most of
which it occupied.
Mercutio: Behold, the antiquities version of NERV headquarters.
They couldn't make out much detail from
this distance.
"Maybe Mayans colonized this place before it sank,"
Asuka speculated.
"Or vice versa," Shinji said. "I wonder how old it
is."
"Thousands of years," Misato said over the comlink.
"The sensor feeds we're getting indicate you need to climb
the mountain to that pyramid."
Hikaru: Tomb Raider VIII: Eva�s Strike Back.
"Right," Shinji said, and they started down one of
the broad streets to the plaza at the mountain's base.
"I can hardly believe this place is real," Asuka
said. "It's at least as advanced as the Egyptians or the
Aztecs or the Maya or Incas. Just look at the architecture.
But if it's thousands of years old, it must predate them.
When we're saying thousands, how many thousands do we mean,
Katsuragi-san?"
Misato consulted someone off screen.
Maya(Misato): �Quick, what cover story are we using this month?�
"Older than any known civilization."
"Wow!" Asuka said. "This must have been the first
human civilization then.
Hikaru: Ah, no. That would be either Zobna or Hyperborea; one
of the two.
Maya: The legends aren�t to clear which.
What kind of people lived here?"
"We have no clue," Misato said. "Probably they
looked just like us, though. It's not THAT old."
"The temple looks sort of like the Mayans. Maybe
they came from here," Asuka speculated.
Shinji looked about as they crossed the great plaza.
"Reminds me too much of Tokyo-1. I wonder if people will
wander through the ruins of Tokyo-3 one day and wonder what
we were like."
Mercutio(Shinji): �And by one day, I mean a couple months from
now.�
"Don't be gloomy," Asuka said. "This place is
really neat!"
Rei, who was lugging the explosives, said, "How many
charges to level the temple?"
"Try just one," Misato said.
"We can't just destroy it!" Asuka said.
Hikaru: Feh, no appetite for mindless destruction, either. I like
this version of Asuka less and less.
"Unless you want to get out and swim, we don't have
much choice," Misato said.
"They probably sacrificed humans if they were really
like the Mayas or the Aztecs," Shinji said. "It looks just
like that one in our history books."
Maya: Thank you, Shinji, for that totally unneccesary bit of
speculation.
"Whatever. I guess we blow it up," Asuka said.
~*~
The building was tougher than it looked, but two
charges levelled it. Clearing the rubble took awhile, but
since they had power from above, this wasn't a problem.
They also had power packs with them for an emergency.
Finally, they found the huge well which had once sat at the
heart of the temple. Infrared sensors indicated the water
welling up out of it was warmer than the surrounding
ocean water by a good twenty degrees.
Mercutio: Ghatanathoa likes his sauna, he does.
"Go to Hypersonar," Misato said.
"Why?" Asuka asked.
"Just do it," Misato replied, frowning. She started
to say something, then heard something the pilots could
not, frowned more, and said, "Conserves the flashlight power, and
we need to make sure it'll work in the confined space of the
shaft. You're going to have to go one at a time. The Angel
is down below. Do not turn on your lights under any circum-
stances without a direct order."
Maya(Misato): �We don�t want you to flash into stone statues unless
it�s under a specific directive.�
Misato wasn't happy giving these orders; they had come
down from Commander Ikari, who she suspected had censored the
report they had gotten from the divers before passing it on to
her.
Maya: <snorts> Suspected?
Why fight in the dark? It made no sense. Not for the
first time, she was certain Commander Ikari knew something he
wasn't telling. More precisely, that he knew far more about
the Angels than he was telling. How had the divers known where
to look? And why was it so important for the Children to fight
Rahab in the dark? Did he get stronger with light or something?
Hikaru(Gendo): �Stronger is a word for it, yes.......�
"Are we gonna have enough cable for this?" Shinji
asked.
"As long as they didn't dig a half-mile shaft, yes,"
Misato said. "Our readings indicate it isn't much more than
five to eight hundred feet down."
Mercutio(Shinji): �Y�know, it�d be nice if _WE_ could see some of
these �readings� you keep quoting so glibly. Misato-san.�
"Why is it just sitting here?" Asuka asked.
"We believe it isn't fully functional yet," Misato
said. "It hasn't left since we found it."
"I'll go first. Shinji, you go second. Rei, you go
third." Asuka switched on her Hypersonar, as did the
others. The ocean turned into a black void with shapes
outlined in green with distance markers by them.
Mercutio: This Hypersonar effect brought to you courtesy of the
movie �Tron.�
"Can I turn on infrared too?"
"Affirmative," Misato said.
Asuka gritted her teeth and swallowed, then relaxed.
"Let's go."
~*~
The shaft dove three hundred feet and let out into a
huge cavern that would have been vast and impressive under
most conditions, extending hundreds, maybe thousands of
feet, lacking the stalactites and stalagmites that one
normally finds in caves, the walls polished smooth.
Hikaru: Ghatanathoa apparently killed a lot of time by going nuts
with the rock polish all these millenia.
Two things reduced its impressiveness. The first thing was that
hypersonar made everything look like a cheesy late seventies
video game.
Maya: It�s time for Pong...... DEATH Pong!!!!!!
Hikaru: Maya, that was _really_ bad.
Maya: Hey, adding �death� will make ANY sentence better. Go on,
try it.
Mercutio: Well... okay. �I think I�ll go get a sandwich..... a DEATH
sandwich!!� Hey, she�s right!!
Hikaru: Let me try... �Bring me some cheese..... the DEATH
Cheese!!� Ooo, this is fun!!
Maya: Now, let�s continue with the fic..... the DEATH fic!!!
The second thing was that the EVAS were so big
the cavern shrunk in comparison.
Asuka dropped down into the chamber first,
progressive knife in hand. She wished they had been able to
take better armnaments, but most weapons work poorly
underwater. It would likely do the job anyway. Assuming she
could find the enemy to hit him. Feh, she thought.
Mercutio: Something tells me that she�s going to have NO
trouble finding him.
The ceiling was low, which bothered her; it was
going to be hard to move in here without whacking her EVA's
head into the ceiling frequently. To make matters worse,
she could make out a huge shape on her Hypersonar which
occupied the far end of the cavern. Hypersonar couldn't
handle it well; it was too complex, a tangle of tubes and
arms and legs and spheres and bulbous malformed hunks of
seemingly pointless flesh, all mounted around a large sphere
which might have been an eye, but which was featureless to
hypersonar. It had no infared signature at all.
Hikaru: You�d think NERV would have adapted it�s technology
to handle that whole �Great Old Ones don�t show up on normal
sensor devices� thing.
Maya: What do you think the Hypersonar is?
Hikaru: I meant _all_ it�s technology.
"That's the Angel!" Misato said. "Our sensor feed
from you is heading up the scale."
"It looks like old, rotten spaghetti," Asuka said.
"Just like Oscar used to make."
Mercutio: However, the spaghetti was slightly less likely to lunge
across the table and rip out your lungs.
Rahab, the Angel of the Sea, charged across the
cavern, its hundreds of tentacles, tubes, and limbs flailing
about, and Asuka charged it as Unit01 dropped down. "You
call this 'not fully functional'? Shinji, draw your knife
and move left. Rei, move right when you get down. I'll
take the middle."
"Good plan," Misato said, slightly irritated.
"Produce an AT- Field as you strike. Force your way through
the limbs to the center; you'll spend all day hacking at him
otherwise."
Maya(Misato): �And while that WOULD be entertaining for those
of us on dry land, we don�t have that kind of time.�
This was easier said than done. Up close, Rahab was
one big smear on Hypersonar, and you couldn't see him on
Infrared at all. It was hard to keep from being tangled completely
and immobilized. Asuka was sure she had sliced a good two
dozen tendrils, tentacles, tubes, arms, and even one thing
that had resembled a leg. "We need to use our lamps! It's
like fighting two dozen perverts in the dark! I can't even
tell what direction I'm facing and..." Unit02 smacked into
the ceiling.
<All>: Hehehehehehehehehehhe.
"Request denied," Ritsuko said. "We have reason to
believe that using light against this Angel would be a bad
idea."
"It's trying to cut my cord, but I'm afraid to
strike or I may hit it myself!" Shinji said. "I can't tell
the difference in this mess!"
Hikaru: Somehow, I have trouble believing that Ghatanathoa
would recognize the signifigance of that cable. For all their power,
the Great Old Ones weren�t all that knowledgeable of science, by
human standards.
"Absolutely not," Ritsuko said.
After a few more minutes of fighting, Asuka couldn't
take it any longer. Her left leg was immobilized and
despite hacking up dozens of tentacles, she wasn't gaining
any ground. Hypersonar just wasn't hacking it, she thought.
I need light or I'm going to die.
She clicked her light on.
Mercutio: There�s one of her _more_ boneheaded moves....
He was a nightmare, looking as though someone had sewn
together thousands of random body parts of various sizes
into a huge throbbing mass with a single eye in which danced
a cold blue flame.
I'll go for the eye, she decided. Then her EVA
wouldn't move, and her eyes widened. "MOVE!" she shouted,
but it moved only in slow motion, ever slowing. Something
was wrong.
Hikaru: I�m quite frankly surprised that she hasn�t been statuized
yet.
Maya: The EVA protects her, obviously.
Mercutio: That shouldn�t make a difference. The EVA may be
preternatural, but neither the Children (well, okay, Rei)
nor the cameras used for the internal video feed are. Regardless
of whether or not the EVA would be affected, Asuka should be
growing a new skin now.
~*~
Back at the bridge, Ritsuko cursed. "You idiot!
Anything that can see Rahab will..." She sighed. "Maya?"
Hikaru: And once again, the video feed to the Bridge should be
turning the crew to granite about now.
"The Angel's AT-Field is invading the three EVAs.
At this rate, they have about three minutes before it's too
late."
"You didn't say we'd get paralyzed just LOOKING at
it!" Asuka shouted over the comlink.
"You wouldn't be in trouble if you hadn't disobeyed
orders!" Misato yelled. "And someone didn't TELL ME THAT!"
Mercutio(Gendo): �Are you insinuating something?�
"You have to generate your own AT-Fields," Ritsuko
said. "And drive out the energies invading your EVAs.
Otherwise, you'll be rendered immobile and it will likely
eat you or worse."
Maya: Actually, Ghatanathoa tends to let his victims just lie
around the cave, stoned out of their minds.
Shinji winced and began to concentrate, as did the
others, and soon the bridge sensors showed a struggle of
pure energy was in progress between Rahab and the three
EVAs. The tentacles ceased to move, as the battle became
one of will and power rather than physical might.
Hikaru: Oh boy, the fate of the world depends upon Shinji�s POW
rating. We�re doomed.
Asuka found herself thinking about Kaji. I love
you, she thought. I can't die...I have to come back to you!
Not to mention I have to show that bastard Touji I'm not so
weak I got killed by just LOOKING at the Angel. And Shinji.
I have to finish his lessons, and he's counting on me! And
Hikari...I'd miss you if I died. Thoughts of her loved ones
(and a few hated ones) sustained her will to struggle.
Shinji found it hard to focus at first; efforts of
will did not come wasy to him; paralysis did.
opened before him, and he saw the Earth from space. It was
a tiny marble, just one of millions, doomed to die when the
Sun swallowed it.
Hikaru: Actually, the Sun is never going to swallow the Earth; when
it swells to Red Giant stage, the surface will merely turn into a vast
hellish semi-molten sea of lava, before contracting and leaving our
planet a lifeless dustball.
Mercutio: Oh, that�s a MUCH more attractive option.
Shinji snarled, and then his Eva's arm began to
move, followed by its legs. Slowly, it began to press
forward. Asuka's EVA was beginning to move as well, and so
was Rei's. They shoved forward, hacking through the flabby,
pustulent flesh, ignoring the gore that repeatedly showered
the three EVAs.
Hikaru: So.... one could say that they�re being covered in GOO.
Mercutio: If one wished to invite greivous injury upon oneself, yes.
"Its AT-Field is wavering," Ritsuko said. "Asuka,
use your feeding tendrils."
Maya: �We have reason to believe that Rahab is <checks charts>
�finger-lickin good.��
"That's disgusting!" Asuka shouted.
"Shinji, use your claws and bite it. You can chew
through it faster than you can use your knife," Misato said.
"Ditto for you, Rei."
Rei seized one of the tendrils, and ice began to
spread up it to the central tangle of body parts which
formed what passed for Rahab's torso.
Hikaru: <blinks> Now THERE�S a creative adaptive ability.....
you have to wonder if it�s a holdover from Ithaqua, or her new
one from the Big G.
Mercutio: Yeah, the EVA�s are picking up all kinds of cool-ass
abilities from these Angels. By the time we get to Cthulhu, who
KNOWS what they�ll be able to do.
Shinji reluctantly
forced himself to make his EVA bite a pulsating arm, then
began to rip his way forward at a much higher pace. It felt
disturbingly good to just shred his way through the
repulsive thing, and he could almost taste its vital fluids.
He would have spat if his spittle wouldn't have ended up on
him. His body quivered with nervous energy as his EVA
sliced and bit and rended and chewed and fed upon Rahab.
Mercutio: Feeding frenzy!!!!!
Unit02 sprouted the facial tendrils, and where they
struck, the limb soon lost all its color and crumbled to
gray flakes, then dust. At random intervals, large veins
pulsed visibly under 02's skin, and Asuka felt a horrifying
euphoria.
Maya: It�s like those videos of people getting into hideously
stupid accidents; you don�t WANNA laugh, because people are
dying, but you do anyway, because it�s not you.
~*~
Back at the Geofront, Maya frowned. "Asuka and
Shinji's synchro rates have fallen slightly."
Misato shuddered. "Can you blame them?" She
couldn't see clearly; they weren't accepting visual signals
from the Children, just Hypersonar,
Hikaru: Ah. That�d explain it, then.
~*~
A shriek erupted through the cavern, shaking the
walls, and Asuka's monitors suddenly filled with a flurry of
images, her ears filling with sounds, her nose with smells,
all her senses overloading.
Maya: Yet another..... rogue acid flashback!!!!!!
For a moment, the Earth floated before her as seen
from space. Then she saw a vast continent, and a volcano.
Pink scabrous creatures, winged crustaceans flew down and
built a city, mining the local area for rock, and silencing
the volcano with a machine.
Hikaru: Gotta love those Mi-Go. If nothing else, a tremendous work
ethic.
They built a city to guard the
cave where Asuka slept. One day, they were gone, and much
later humans came and dwelt above her, worshipping her.
She howled; these were not her memories, not her
senses, not her, but she could not resist them, could not
fight them off. Much of it was utterly alien to her and
incomprehensible. Angled time. The smell of a dying world.
Twelfth dimensional spheres. A music which permeated the
universe.
Mercutio: Rick James �Superfreak?�
A universe dying as the atom which contained it
was crushed in a cyclotron. An ever surging, constantly
changing blasphemous mass surrounded by a court of idiot
gods and mindless flautists playing a tuneless symphony.
Maya: The Court of Azathoth: where the boogie never stops.
And over and over, snatches of the words of the
priests in a language she refused to know, but which
overwhelmed her, forced itself upon her. They spoke now, on
the last day before her home sank beneath the waves, calling
out the final prophecy of their time supposedly in her
service. She had always ignored them, a buzzing annoyance,
along with the stupid people dropped down the great well.
Hikaru(Ghatanathoa): �They make nice lawn ornaments, though.....�
They had talked of her wrath, her desires, her hopes and
fears for their land, but they had meant nothing to her any
more than one would care if the termites in ones walls
worshipped one.
Mercutio: I don�t know..... I could think of numerous uses for an army
of termites willing to serve me.
She had simply waited for the Day of Return.
Mercutio: So Ghatanathoa is Shai�tan now?
Hikaru: Not good-looking enough.
And yet one day...
~*~
"The priests of Ythogtha have destroyed us all,"
Mercutio: �Sure, blaaaaaaaaaaaame Ythogtha.�
Zar-ya said, as he looked out across the land and watched
the rising waves of waters devour it, watched the great
cracks in the land consume it, watched the people flee up
the mountain towards the temple. He was an old man, pale
skinned and white haired. "We have gambled and lost."
Hikaru: Snake eyes!
Mercutio: These guys worship Ghatanathoa, not Yig.
"Great Ghatanathoa is watching over us!" Yarke-shu
was dark skinned and young, with bright yellow hair, an
humble acolyte of the temple. "He will save his faithful
ones!"
"He cares nothing for us," Zar-Ya said. "We have
only pretended to speak in his name, used his power for our
own personal gain. Have you not studied our histories? He
did not save those who built this temple and this city from
destruction. He will not save us."
Maya: Well, technically, the Mi-Go weren�t actually DESTROYED,
just driven off.
"That...that is blasphemy!" Yarke-shu was shocked.
"We are his chosen! We have closed down all the other
temples at his command! He...he has to save us!"
Hikaru: Faith. The last, desperate refuge of the damned.
"The Gods care nothing for men," Zar-Ya said. "Only
the weak Great Ones who live now only in dreams have any
caring for mortals, and they cannot touch this world; they
are but a shadow. The Gods, the universe...it does not care
if we live or die. We have gambled, and we have lost. Now
we pay the price."
Merctio: For someone who�s about to be Atlantisized, the old
man is remarkably calm.
"NO! It is not possible!" Yarke-shu paled as much
as he could, which wasn't much. "We have served him well,
given him blood and lives! Are you saying we slew those
people for nothing?"
"Perhaps it appeased his lust for blood...if he
lusts. We know nothing of him save that to look upon him is
to die. Only one thing comforts me as I gaze upon the wreck
of all there is." He stared out across the railing and
watched some people huddling in the wreckage of one of the
banned temples, the temple of Cuthag, the fire god, trying
to light fires in the hopes their lord would notice them.
Mercutio: �Cuthag?�
Hikaru: I think they mean Cthugha.
No chance of that. If he did notice them, it would likely
spell their deaths. "One day, he too will die. I have seen
it."
"That is not possible! The Gods cannot die!"
"All things die.�
"No!" Yarke-Shu screamed. "He will come! He will
save us!"
Mercutio: This Yarke-Shu guy reminds me of an evangelical
minister, but without the southern accent.
"Three of his fellows, beings like himself, will
slay him, three Gods masquerading as men. They will come in
the visage of man, the ultimate insult. They will smite him
with the power of the Gods, and steal away his might. On
the very eve of his freedom, on the verge of triumph, he
will be destroyed just as we have been smitten on the day of
our victory. I will die with his deaththroes in the eye of
my mind, and I will die content to know his turn will come
in time."
~*~
Asuka did not see the end of that tableau, for she
remembered she had lost interest with the end of the
prophecy.
Mercutio: You�d think he would have takensme minor precautions
after hearing his own grisly demise prophesied, but no.
She screamed. "I AM NOT THIS MONSTER! GET OUT
OF MY MIND!"
Hikaru(Arael): �Hey, I like this guys style.......�
She called forth her deepest resources. Berlin in
the summer. The Wagner festival. Goethe's house. Anna.
Dr. Himmelfarb. Her parents. NERV-Germany. They faded in
and out of her sight, and then soldified, the alien images
popping one by one.
And then it was over. There was nothing left of
Rahab but currents of pus and gore floating through the
water and massive gray flakes of flesh quickly dissolving
away into the water which took on a dismal tinge.
A ripple ran through the cave outwards from Rahab's
remains, and when they struck the explosive charges,
Mercutio: Why the heck did they bring the charge-storage
cable down with them?
they went off. The water boiled and that part of the cavern
collapsed, cutting off their com lines.
~*~
At the Geofront, the remote transmissions went
blank. A comline from the boats kicked in. "Something
severed the cables, we think," Kaji said.
Maya: Brilliant deduction, Holmes. Did you figure that out all
by yourself?
"They won, DAMMIT!" Misato shouted. "They beat
him! Who's the...WHO MADE THOSE EXPLOSIVES?"
"Some armnaments company," Makoto said. "I can look
it up."
"Find them. Kill them," Misato said grimly.
Mercutio(Gendo): *I shouldn�t have told her about my personal
assasin corps....* <sweatdrops>
"MAGI estimates there's only a one percent chance
they were actually slain. Probably their cables were simply
cut," Aoba announced. "If their backpacks were not damaged,
they have enough power to try to dig their way out."
"Maybe," Misato said, crumpling up sheet after sheet
of paper into tiny balls. "If they're dead," she rubbed her
eyes to avoid crying. "They can't be dead. They have to
live. They HAVE TO!"
Hikaru: Well, duh. If they die, there�s no story.
"DAGON is not yet ready," Ritsuko said. "We cannot
afford to lose them."
Maya: �But just to be on the safe side, I�ll go down to Terminal
Dogma and boot up another Rei.....�
~*~
"Something's pulling on the lines," Lt. Hamnes, a
young blond from Germany, said to Kaji. "Should we reel it
in? It seems...to be tugging in morse code. S. O. S."
"Do it," he said. "We've got to get them to the
surface before their power goes out."
"Is everything to do with NERV this weird?" Lt.
Hamnes asked.
Mercutio(Kaji): �No, nonononononononono...... well, yes.�
"Often it's much stranger," he said. "But we've won
this time."
"How many of these damn Angels are there? And when
are their makers gonna come back for them?" Hamnes asked as
he punched in commands to the computer operated cables.
"When the stars are right," Kaji muttered.
"Don't give me that astrology shit," Hamnes said.
"My damn grandmother hated my last girlfriend because she
had the wrong sign."
Hikaru: Was it the Yellow Sign, or the Elder Sign, or the Sign of
Eibon maybe?
Mercutio: Perhaps a Pnakotic Pentagram?
Kaji simply laughed.
~*~
Asuka nearly crushed Kaji to death once she got out
of her entry plug. "That was...awful!"
<All>: Well DUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
He hugged her loosely. "Yeah, I know. But you all
made it back okay. So how was your underseas kingdom, Rei?"
"Wet."
She stared at them in confusion as they all began to
laugh hysterically.
Maya(Rei): �But it�s BETTER down where it�s wetter.�
~*~
As the boats headed back to Tokyo-3, that evening,
Shinji found Asuka staring out across the water. "What are
you looking at, Asuka?"
"Shinji...when it died...did you see anything?"
"I got a big gusher of green-gray pus in my face and
a wave of nausea. That was about it. And a sort of...I did
see a lot of scary stuff about how pointless humanity was
when we were trying to break its AT-field, though." He
sighed. "Do you think...do we matter?"
"Of course we do," Asuka said.
Maya: <snorts> Not in THIS universe, you don�t.
"We're made in the
image of God." A memory of her vision struck her, and she
shuddered slightly. Gods in the visage of men... "He tried
to pull that 'You don't matter because the Universe is real
big and you're real small' bullshit with me too. Who gives
a flying...
Hikaru: ....polyp?
"I had a..." I must have just tripped out, she
thought. It made no sense...and yet...the temple was
clearly built to sacrifice to the thing that lived under it.
But it couldn't be that old if aliens made it.
Mercutio: She�s obviously never seen an episode of the
X-Files.
~*~
Shinji found it hard to breathe as Misato hugged
him. "Urgle..."
Mercutio(Shinji): �Ribs.... puncturing lungs... getting dark....
why... God..... why?�
She let go. "I'm glad you all made it back!" she
said. "We thought we'd lost you."
They walked from the docks towards her car together,
her and Asuka and Shinji. "I need to talk to you later,
Katsuragi-san," Asuka said.
Hikaru: Since when is Asuka this polite?
"That's fine," she said. "But right now...how does
a nice juicy steak dinner sound? I feel like celebrating."
"Sounds great!" Asuka said. "Can we bring Kaji?"
"This is just going to be a 'family' outing," Misato
said, winking.
Maya: You fool, if you bring Kaji along, he�s automatically
obligated to pick up the check.
Mercutio: Yeah, he�s drawing paychecks from three different
top-secret organizations; he can afford it.
"Can I have a raise in my allowance, then, 'Mom'?"
Shinji asked, laughing.
"NERV already pays you a hundred thousand yen a
week," Misato said. "And I NEED my salary."
Maya(Misato): �That beer doesn�t pay for itself, you know...�
"They do?" Shinji asked.
"Yes. It goes right to your bank account."
"I have a bank account?"
"Did you read all the stuff I gave you?"
"Umm...I read the 'Welcome to NERV' brochure and the
one on Penguin Care..." A moment later, after a little
thought, he said, "So I have money?"
Mercutio(Shinji): *Finally..... I can buy that electric guitar
I�ve always wanted, and ditch this lameass cello....*
They reached the car. "Get in the car. I'll tell
you about it on our way home."
"I... I have money?"
Hikaru: Shinji with bank balance.... God help us all.
~*~
Kaji pulled up in front of Rei's building. "There
you go."
"Do you live alone?" Rei asked him as she picked up
her clothing bag.
Mercutio(Kaji): *Waitaminute..... she�s making conversation....
who is this, and what has she done with Rei?*
He blinked. "Yes."
"Always?"
"No, I lived with my folks growing up, and I've had
roommates a few times. I lived on Misato's couch for a
semester. Well, when I wasn't...anyway. Tired of living
alone?" I always wondered why they made the poor kid live
by herself, he thought.
Hikaru: Gendo decided that he needed the basement room in
Terminal Dogma for his secret trysts with Fuyutsuki.
Mercutio: Ummm..... you mean with Ritsuko, right?
Hikaru: <blinks> Sure, why not.
Rei started to get out of the car. "I do need
sleep."
He blinked. "I meant...you want a roommate or
something?"
Maya(Rei): �If dead bodies stashed in a closet count, then I
already have several.�
Maybe Misato would have room for her, he thought.
Kids need someone who can at least fake being a parent. Then
again, maybe Maya would be a better choice in that regard.
She turned back to face him. "Something. Thank
you, Kaji-san."
"You're welcome."
He watched her walk into the building. She
shouldn't be alone, he thought. Maybe she could move in
with Maya or something.
Maya: Uh, no thanks. I don�t feel like being torn limb from limb
the first time I walk in on her in the bathroom.
~*~
"It's a pity we can't just skip the next one,"
Fuyuutsuki said.
Hikaru: Ohhhhh, what fun would THAT be?
"It's a pity we can't FIND the next one," Gendo
said. "They could turn him loose almost anywhere."
"Anywhere that people won't notice a few monoliths."
Mercutio: One of the perks of being Hastur; you get the
coolest summoning devices.
"Space them widely enough...they could already be in
place for all we know," he said. "And POLARIS won't feel
anything until they use them." He stroked his chin idly.
"And there's the Rei situation."
Mercutio: Now THERE�S a unique way of phrasing it.
"It was bound to happen eventually. But compared to
DAGON, she's still a success," Fuyuutsuki said. "I suspect
DAGON will never work in time. It took years to properly
train Rei to maintain her balance. And even that may not be
enough. The DAGON subjects have days at best. Only the
ones whose functions are too minimal to be of use to us
survive."
"And now she risks losing it. We will have three
weak links instead of two. Until DAGON succeeds..."
"IF DAGON succeeds."
Hikaru(Gendo): �Shhhh!!! It�lll hear you!!!�
Gendo frowned at Fuyuutsuki. "When DAGON succeeds,
we can reassess, but until then...she must be made to lean
towards her human side, if she cannot be kept balanced.
Because if she leans the other way..."
Mercutio: Then this fic turns into a slasher epic, and THAT ain�t
good.
Hikaru: I dunno..... I�d kind of LIKE to see Asuka get disembowled
when she goes into the darkened basement with the ominous
music to ge her panties out of the dryer.
"We could easily end up with one pilot or none
instead of three," Fuyuutsuki said. "How do you propose to
do this?"
"I must think on this," Gendo said. "It is far
easier to destroy innocence than to create it."
Maya: Hunh. I always thought Gendo�s brain was biochemically
incapable of thinking of ways to help people.
-End
Mercutio: Well, gang?
Hikaru: Interesting take on Ghatanathoa. I especially liked
Shinji�s knowledge of Churchward and that little underwater bit
with the Elder Sign; it�s helping to expand the story in a more
Mythos-oriented direction, although hopefully not by TOO much;
Rod and John seem to be going for story that can be read and
enjoyed by Eva fans who have little or no Mythos knowledge, and
too many obscure references and things will ruin that.
Maya: The character development is starting to radically diverge from
canonical Eva as well; Rei has that �edge� to her, which is getting
more pronounced, Gendo and Fuyutsuki have actual _lines_, and
Makoto and myself are getting more screen time. I don�t quite like
how they�ve eliminated Shigeru�s crush on me (not that I encouraged
the guys attention) without giving explanation for it. Also, they used
Aoba�s name the way it�s SUPPOSED to be spelled, rather than
anglicizing the word order. I just hope they start doing it with the
rest of us.
Mercutio: <nods> I like what Maya (story-Maya, not you) is doing
with Rei, as well; nudging her gradually in the direction of a
relationship with Shinji. Though Rod has repeatedly avowed that
it will not lead to �a WAFFy Rei-Shinji pairing� we can at least hope
for a dark, Bartram-esque Rei/Shinji pairing. Being a huge fan of
the couple, I personally can�t wait.
Hikaru: Say, does Gendo know of Rei�s �feelings� for Shinji yet?
He spoke of dealing with her �situation� but it strikes me that
if he knew his pet clone was interested in his estranged son, he�d be....
well,angrier that he was. Or at least really, REALLY annoyed.
Maya: Huh. Guess we�ll find out. And hey, am I the only one who�s
noticed that so far, pretty much every part has ended with a
Gendo/Kouzou scene, or at least something involving them?
Mercutio: No, I got that too. Nice recurring theme, there.
Maya: I agree. <pauses> So, what are our predictions for the next
part?
Hikaru: The school play? Well, since it�s titled �The King in Yellow�,
there�s a better-than-even chance of them actually PREFORMING
the thing, which could be cool, because it would result in Gendo being
blindsided for the first time in.... well, ever.
Maya:<blinks> What?
Mercutio: There are two ways to summon Hastur to Earth; the traditional
way, using the monoliths and the spells and Aldebaran and such, and the
little-known�back-door� method; if The King in Yellow is preformed with a full
cast, appropriatly costumed, Hastur gets called down somewhere near the end.
Now, Robert Chambers, who created TKY, established in his stories that
mearly to read the play is to go mad, but later authors and the CoC rules
damped down the madness-causing properties considerably, meaning that
it�s technically possible for the Cthulhoid forces at work to slip it into a
junior high schools theatre group.
Maya: Of course, that�s just a theory. You could be wrong.
Mercutio: Of course. I�ll just have to wait and see.
Maya: <nods> So..... anything else?
Mercutio: No, I beleive that covers it all.
Hikaru: <sighs heavily> Phew. THAT analysis is over. Now-
Mercutio: Not so fast!!! We aren�t done yet.... we have a new
feature here at Lunatic Science Theatre 500.
Hikaru: <blinks> We do?
Mercutio: Yes, we do. Take it away, Maya!!!
Maya: Presenting, for your reading pleasure......
A Lunatic Fringe Production.....
CoaEG: Scenes From the Cutting Room Floor.
The outtakes Rod and John didn�t want you to see.
Outtake #1: The Day Rod was Channeling his Inner Pervert.
-*-
"Sit down, Langely," Gendo said, pointing to a
chair.
Asuka sat down, frowning. "Am I going to be chewed
out again? Becuase I didn�t bring my lotions...."
"I want you to teach Shinji about controlling his
Libido."
Asuka blinked. "You do?"
"Since the two of you sleep together, you are the
ideal teacher. And I understand he is having recurring
orgasms."
"Yeah. Sure I'll teach him. I'm just...Anything
else?"
"That's all. You have until that time of the month.
Possibly less."
Asuka frowned. "Is something going to happen at that
time of the month?"
"He must learn quickly, and some of our experience
indicates one of the Angels,� Gendo tapped the file on
his desk marked �Overfiend�, �May be able to influence him.
Rei has the training to defend herself ever since we
bought her the La Blue Girl boxed set, but Shinji..."
"Would crumple. I'll do my best."
"You have one month, then I'll call in someone who
can do a better job if you can't handle it. I understand
Misato has training in this arena...."
Asuka snorted. �I can handle Shinji�s any day of the week."
"We shall see. Dismissed."
Asuka got up and left. Gendo watched her go, then
smiled faintly. *It�s all going according to plan....*
~*~
"You're going to WHAT?" Shinji said, backing up against
the bedroom wall in terror.
Asuka advanced through the doorway. "I'm going to
teach you to control your libido. You need to learn."
"Is this some S&M thing?"
"No, just some special positions. It's easy, and
you'll sleep better and have more interesting nights."
"My nights are already too interesting."
~*~
Maya: Oh..... my.
Hikaru: That was bad, Merc. Really, REALLY bad.
Mercutio: <grins> There�s more.
Outtake #2: Practical Joking, Mythos Style.
~*~
Shinji stared at the kanji painted on the side of
the building he and Rei were next to. Some of it had
eroded, but he could still read some of it. 'The Yellow
Sign rises in place of <something garbled>. The stars move.
The time of <something garbled> has ended. After winter,
summer, after summer, winter. All is <extremely garbled>'
The end of the 'message' was eroded beyond recognition,
except for a strange scrawled sigil, an eye of flame in the
heart of a five pointed star. Rei had pulled him over to
it, but couldn't tell him why.
He turned to her questioningly, and she stared at him. She
stretched out her arm, and her right hand came to rest on the sigil...
<BZZRACK!!!!!!!>
<FOOM>
... and Rei poofed into a small cloud of dust that floated away in
the current.
Shinji blinked.
*Tousan is NOT going to be happy.......*
~*~
Up on the beach, Ritsuko looked up from her monitor angrily. �All
right, which one of you replaced our Elder Sign prop with the
real thing?�
Kaji slowly began to inch towards his car........
~*~
Hikaru: There�s more?
Mercutio: There�s more.
Outtake #3: Mixing Metaphors.
~*~
"Do you really think we're going to lose?" Asuka asked Kaji.
"I fear we will lose. I hope we will win. You're
carrying the weight of the world, Asuka. If you die,
there's no one to replace you. Not yet. And there's no way
of knowing how many of these things there are, or if they'll
get lucky and nail one of you." He turned to face her.
"Gertrude would never forgive me if I let you die."
"I'm not going to die," she said. "You...you'd miss
me if I died, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would. I'd only have Misato left to
tease for one thing; Rits-chan won't take my bait anymore."
She'd hoped for him to say something more romantic
than that. "I'd miss you a lot if you died."
"Let's not give the universe any hints, okay?" he
said.
The sun finished setting, and the red sky faded to
darkness. One by one, the stars came out, and Asuka settled
down to watch them and listen to the sea. I wonder what Rahab
will be like, she thought. That was the name of their next
target, the Angel of the Sea.
Probably going to be a great white whale, she thought.
As if on cue, a gigantic white form, with large, angry-looking
teeth, broached the water about a thousand yards to port.
~*~
Asuka took a couple steps back from the rail. �Ga... gaghie!!
But.... but...�
The seafaring Angel snapped it�s jaws menacingly and tore
through the water right at Asuka, demolishing several
destroyers and vaulting a frigate in the process.
Kaji tugged at her arm. �Asuka, move!!! We have to get out
of here now!!�
Asuka stood transfixed. �But.. but... I mean... he�s not supposed
to be.....�
Too late. Gaghiel covered the last hundred yards between him
and Asuka in seconds, and leapt high into the air, flinging
himself onto the carriers deck and managing to just catch Asuka
with the edge of his body, crushing her.
Then, inexplicably... he just lay there. Maybe twitching a little.
Kaji apporached the enromous bulk carfeully and poked at it
a bit. �Asuka?�
<POP!!!>
<PFFFSHHHH........>
Kaji blinked. Gaghiel was... deflating?
Suddnely, there was a rending of materiel, and Asuka appeared
out of the Angels side, slashing her way with a pocket knife.
�Gott.... in.... HIMMEL!!!� she swore, kicking the last few bits of
what appeared to be.... rubber?.. away from her. She guestured
angrily with the knife. �What IDIOT turned loose the motorized
Gaghiel balloon? I thought this thing was decommisioned after
the original Episode 8.�
Kaji shrugged. �We got a lot of our standard NERV epuipment from
Gainax at wholesale prices. I guess this thing was included in the
shipment by accident.� He frowned. �It�s gonna take forever to deflate
and haul away this guy.....�
~*~
Back at NERV, Fuyutsuki turned to Gendo. �I told you, Ikari-kun.
Reusing the ocean set from the original series just to save
money was a BAD idea.�
Genod sweatdropped, just a little. �It would appear you
were correct, Fuyutsuki-sensei.�
~*~
Maya: Is it over yet?
Mercutio: Just one more. Be patient.
Scene #4: Ripping off the Classics.
~*~
"It's a pity we can't just skip the next one,"
Fuyuutsuki said.
"It's a pity we can't FIND the next one," Gendo
said. "They could turn him loose almost anywhere."
"Anywhere that people won't notice a few monoliths."
"Space them widely enough...they could already be in
place for all we know," he said. "And POLARIS won't feel
anything until they use them." He stroked his chin idly, then
sighed.
�I was hoping it wouldn�t come to this..... but we must know
the secret of the Monoliths.�
Fuyutsuki frowned. �You don�t mean.....�
�Yes.� Gendo leaned forward in his chair. �Make the call;
tell Arthur C. Clarke that we�re ready to deal.�
~*~
Hikaru: �......�
Maya: �.........�
Mercutio: Perhaps I went to far?
Hikaru: Yes. Perhaps.
Maya: Well, look on the bright side; we ARE done now. At least until
CoaEG 9 hits the list.
Hikaru: I dunno; I�m kind of in the mood for some more Lovecraftian
things now.
Mercutio: Well, I just bought a new CoC supplement.... and I understand
the movie �The Mummy� has some good pop-culture Mythos refs. And we
mustn�t forget about Nyarlathoteps guest appearence in Young Justice #10.
Hikaru: Oh yeahhhh...... lets� go hit a bookstore, shall we?
Maya: Let�s.
-End LST1/2K-
Reviewers Notes:
Hoooooooooooooooo boy.
This has been my longest, most complicated, mind-renching MST
ever, and also my longest to complete. And that includes ALL my
MST�s, not just the CoaEG ones. I really need to learn to edit better.
OTOH, I�m down now, and looking back the experience really was
worth it, so I can�t complain.
Once again, I refuse to source my obscure cultural refs. Figure it out for
yourselves!!!!
Oh, and as for the outtakes.... they seemed like a good idea at the time,
that�s all I�m saying.
^_^;;;;;
-Mercutio
�A plague �a both your houses!�