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"Hand Over Fist"
As recorded by Rush on their 1989 album "Presto"
Music by Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson
Lyrics by Neil Peart
A 'videofic' for Neon Genesis Evangelion
by Shunsuke -|||
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[Human instumentality has succeeded, and inside the minds of each of
the first, second, and third children, they are fighting the
inevitability of what is to come, the reconciliation of all their
realities into one mind. Despite this knowledge, each continues to
struggle, to keep their own minds pure, while inwardly knowing none
of their minds were so pure to begin with.]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
[Shinji looks around him, seeing and feeling the presence of both
Asuka and Rei. He wears a sad expression, and is uncertain of what
to say, or if to say anything. Asuka carries her head in her hands,
fighting to keep everything out, to deny the pain she has hidden for
so many years. Rei stands alone, feeling nothing, for she has never
known what it is to feel.]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
And the rock must stand alone
[Asuka puts up a front of bravado, a fight to fend off what she fears:
herself. But how does she keep out what it already inside her? Will
she realize she is fighting the wrong battle?]
I could disappear into the crowd
But not if I keep my head in the clouds
I could walk away so proud
It's easy enough if you don't laugh too loud
[Rei looks around her in confusion.
"This is my reality? The consciousness of others within myself? Or
is this how others see the world, or wish it to be?"]
I thought I was okay alone
Wait for the postman and the telephone
[Shinji still refuses to see the reality, to come to terms with what
has happened to him. He clenches his eyes, trying to hide, to flee
his reality. "I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!"]
Lost in a world of my own
I thought I could run alone,
Thought I could run through the night alone
[The pain of the first connection of their minds subsides, and each
child feels not relaxed nor relieved, but...reassured, knowing the
worst pain is past, the hiding of the truth.]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
And the rock must stand alone
[For a second, their souls merge like hands that touch in the dark.
And like those hands, each flinches and pulls back when they do,
afraid of what lurks where they cannot see. Each thinks the others
a monster, a beast, yet each just a scared child like themselves.]
Hand over hand
Doesn't seem so much
Hand over hand
Is the strength of the common touch
[Old fears and doubts again resurface in Shinji's mind.
"Who is Rei? What is Rei? Is human or angel? Is she me?"]
You talk as we walk along
I never imagined I could be so wrong
[Rei stands apart, finally understanding hate, finally knowing the
words to the song...
"God created Earth and Heaven, God commanded life to be...."]
Humming your favorite song
You know I've hated that song for so long
[Asuka:
"What do you mean, you aren't sure? Sure of what?"]
How can we ever agree?
Like the rest of the world, we grow farther apart
I swear you don't listen to me
Holding my hand to my heart,
Holding my fist to my racing heart
[As the guitar solo plays on, each looks in, looks out, looks around
at each other and the souls of all the others humans beings. Fighting
the instinct for flight, each begins to feel the completeness of
instrumentality, the understanding gained from the experiences of
others. And the subsiding of their fear, that of being lost in a wave
of humanity.]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
[Shinji:
"Is this my world? One of no borders, no limitations? What is this
place? A world of my own creation?" He looks around to find
nothingness, yet with endless possibilities for anything he could
wish.]
Take a walk outside myself
In some exotic land
[Rei:
"What is this feeling? Is it joy? The experience of meeting others?
The sense that the meeting of new people is what matters, not the
possible result of the meetings? The touch of another's hand?"]
Greet a passing stranger
Feel the strength in his hand
Feel the world expand
[Asuka:
"Maybe...maybe it hurts less to know other's share the pain. That
others have the exact same feelings I do. Maybe helping them with
their pain is how to deal with my own."]
I feel my spirit resist
But I open up my fist
Lay hand over hand over...
[As each loses their resistance, their pain, the real meaning of
instrumentality comes to them, that experience, change, beginnings
and endings, are all the ways of the world, or the way the world can
be, that change is the only constant.
...Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose...
That what is and will be are all a matter of how we greet the world,
be it as rock, paper, or scissors.]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
[Shinji gives to Rei a sense of humanity.
Rei gives to Asuka a sense of reality.
Asuka gives to Shinji a sense of security.
Each gives in to the others.]
Hand over hand
Doesn't seem so much
Hand over hand
Is the strength of the common touch
[Asuka:
"I am me, not my mother, not a doll". She smiles.]
Hand over hand
Doesn't seem so much
Hand over hand
Is the strength of the common touch
[Rei:
"I am me, never knowing my mother, no longer a doll." She smiles.]
Hand over fist Hand over hand
Paper around the stone Doesn't seem so much
Scissors cut the paper Hand over hand
Cut the paper to the bone Is the strength of the common touch
Hand over fist Hand over hand
Paper around the stone Doesn't seem so much
Scissors cut the paper Hand over hand...
Cut the paper to the bone
[Shinji:
"I am me, no longer needing my mother, no longer needing to play
with dolls." He smiles.]
Hand over fist Hand over hand...
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone
[As the songs repeats and fades away, the view of the world changes,
and a new world of reality forms, of shape and colour, of dream and
reality....]
Hand over fist
Paper around the stone
Scissors cut the paper
Cut the paper to the bone...
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iwa kami hasami
_ _____ | \ | \
| |_____| /| | /| |
| |_____| /_| | | | | /_| __|
\|_____| | | | | | | |\ \
\____| |_|_|_|_/ |_| \_\
Rei Shinji Asuka
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"Gee, I wonder what all these nice men do when they're not working." -
Rally Vincent
"Drink, smoke, watch TV, and gamble. It's a tradition." - Bean Bandit
(from "Riding Bean")