Well, this is the last FINISHED part... @_@

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Ranma 1/2: Big Trouble in Orlando, Florida

Chapter 5: (In)Direct Confrontation
(Friday, May 30, 10:42 AM)

 Meanwhile, over in the other wheel well, Shampoo and Kunou complained
of Ryoga's incompetence as well.

 "Pig-boy say we go high-style, ne? Why we sit HERE then?" Shampoo asked
and crossed her arms. "Shampoo want big soft seat with lots food
served!"

 Kunou sat with his eyes closed, holding his boken upright.

 "Hibiki, you shall pay for this disgrace. I, Tatewaki Kunou, shall have
mine revenge. But it is of no consequence now: soon both the pig-tailed
girl and Akane Tendou will be mine. Mayhap they will come of their own
accord, of their own bidding and not by force once they have seen how I
shall gloriously defeat that knave Saotome! His defeat will become my
ultimate victory!"

 He held his boken higher, eyes wide with rage now.

 Shampoo stared at him with a large sweat drop. "What language he
speak?" she wondered out loud. A loud CLANK resounded around them, and
the panel above them started to move to the right with a loud grinding.
Above, looking down into the well, was a chef and an awfully unfeminine
stewardess, who was holding down the button on the wall. When the panel
was almost totally open, she let go and the panel stopped.

 "Aiya," Shampoo exclaimed quietly, thinking they had been found.
Instead, the chef pulled two pairs of pilots clothes from hammerspace
and threw them down to Kunou and Shampoo.
 Kunou looked at the clothes a moment. "What is this?" he demanded.

 The stewardess pulled off "her" wig and said, "It's the next step in
our plan. C'mon you guys."
He held out his hand to help them out.


 Ryoga and the group, all now dressed in their disguises, ran down the
hallway to the very back of the passenger area. They stopped at a corner
as Ryoga peeked around. He gave the all-clear sign, and they all walked
in calmly splitting up at different aisles to go to different areas.

 Kunou and Shampoo were the last. They ignored the stares of the
passengers and entered the pilot's area unsure of what to say.

 Unsure of what to say to the true pilots, they entered the cockpit
hesitantly.

 "Ahh, you're here!"

 Kunou blinked, thought, not knowing the English quite well.

 The two pilots stood and stretched, the sound of their cracking backs
loud in the small compartment. They muttered about their break as they
left and closed the door.

 Kunou and Shampoo looked at each other and then at the flight console
as a large worried sweatdrop appeared on both their heads.


Ryoga ran up and down each aisle searching for the Tendou's and Ranma
and Genma.

 "Che," he muttered under his breath as he walked at a brisk pace, not
too fast as to attract attention, but fast enough.

 A passenger looked up from a menu and saw Ryoga coming towards him. He
lifted his hand and said, "Hey!"

 Ryoga stopped at the passenger and looked down at him. "WHAT!??!" he
half yelled.
 The passenger looked at the stewardess in surprise. Ryoga realized what
he did, and changed the pitch of his voice.

 "Err, umm... Excuse me, I have a cold. Ahhh, may I help you?"

 The passenger looked back down at the menu and pointed to a word. "Yes,
I'd like a pork chop, please."

 Ryoga winced.

 "Oh, yes, and my wife wanted a bacon lettuce and tomato burger."

 Ryoga winced.

 "And my son over there would like a ham sandwich."

 Ryoga winced.

 The passenger looked up at the stewardess and wondered why she hadn't
left. "Uhh... is everything alright, miss?"

 Ryoga shook his head and said quickly, "Y- Yes, everything's fine. I'll
get your... *gulp* order right away, sir." Ryoga turned and walked
shakily to the back, where the kitchen was.

 The passenger stared as the stewardess left to get the food. "Hmm, I
wonder if Delta will have better service next time," he thought.

 Ryoga finally turned the corner and leaned against the wall, breathing
hard and covered in sweat. "Sick people!" he thought, then pushed open
the door to the kitchen door.


 Ukyo stood in front of a large griddle, flipping what looked like a
large pancake. She heard the door open and turned her head halfway
through the flip.

 "Ry- Ryoga!" she exclaimed. Gravity set in and the Japanese pizza
landed on her head with a soft wet FLAP! She peeled it off and threw it
into a nearby trash can.

 Ryoga had since calmed down and walked over to Ukyo. "I, uhh, got an
order from some passenger as I was searching for them."

 Ukyo rolled her eyes. "You jackass, you mean you haven't found them
yet?"

 "You think it's easy walking quickly in these high heels?" Ryoga asked
loudly. (Although he had to admit, the skirt was somewhat
comfortable...) "I mean, not that you would know..."

 Ukyo emitted a light glow around her. "BAKA!" she yelled and threw a
spatula at Ryoga, who jumped over it.

 "Jeez, settle down, I'll go find 'em, I'll go find 'em!!" he yelled and
ran out the door.

 Ukyo stared at the door and muttered "baka" again under her breath.

 The door opened quickly and Ryoga's head popped in. "Oh, by the way."
He swallowed hard. "I need a ham sandwich, a BLT, and a pork chop."

 "GO!!!" A spatula flew at Ryoga's head and hit the wall beside him,
where it stuck. He disappeared.


 Shampoo and Kunou stared down at the controls of the plane. Kunou
smiled and said, "Hmph. Leave this to me, woman, and be amazed at my
flight skills."

 "Aiya?"

 "Kunou family secret for the flight of the 747!"

Shampoo looked on with a bit of amazement.

Kunou jumped into the seat and pulled out a flight manual from
hammerspace. "Let's see, chapter one."

Shampoo fell over with a sweat drop.

She jumped up. "You saying you no know how to fly plane?"

He closed his eyes and smiled again. "Ahh, have no fear, my trusty
flight manual shall guide us. Now, this is called the flight yoke, if I
am not mistaken."

'You mistaken,' Shampoo thought.

"It should control the direction in which the plane flies." Kunou put
his hands on either side of the plane and pulled back. The plane shot up
quickly, the high whine of the jet engines growing even higher.

"AIYA!" Shampoo grabbed the back of Kunou's seat. Kunou, pushed back
into his seat, struggled with the yoke, sending the plane a number of
directions upawrd before he gained control again.


 Ukyo stared into the large refrigerator to the back of the plane
galley. She sighed. Not a bit of fish or seafood anywhere. She closed
the door and double-checked the cabinets for any norii. And again she
found none.

 She sighed again. How was she supposed to make okonomiyaki when she
didn't have half the things she needed? Or at least the things that made
it *good*. She looked at the things she currently had laid out on the
counter: flour, eggs, some spices... That was all she could find.

 Oh, well. So much for a snack.

 She stared at the orders that lay in a stack on the serving counter in
front of her. Picking up the first one and looked at it.

'Let's see,' she thought, switching to translation mode.

'Pi..'

'Piz...;

'Pizza.'

She slowly pronounced each syllable in her head. Pizza. She thought
hard, clenching her eyes shut. Pizza... Pizza... Of course! That was
where she heard it!

It was the American equivalent to okonomiyaki!

She looked back over at the spices and sighed. She would have to make do
with what she had.

She thumbed through the other orders, trying to recognize them.

'Spaghetti... steak... filet mignon...' she mentally pronounced. She
pronounced every word wrong.

"Jeez, what kind of messed up language do these guys speak?" she
muttered aloud. She looked around and saw a large cookbook laying on the
counter opposite of her.

Her face covered in a thoughtful expression, she went over to the book
and began to leaf through it.


Ryoga stepped out of the small airplane bathroom, with streaked eyeliner
and lipstick.
'Jeez, how do women do makeup? They make it look so easy,' he thought.

He thought the makeup might make him blend in a bit more. He now walked
forward towards the front of the plane, determined to find where the
Tendous were staying.

He walked passed the man who had previously stopped. Ryoga shivered and
sped up, unnoticed to the man.

Ryoga got to the first-class section. They had all decided to go really
fancy. There they were, in the middle of the section. Ryoga took a deep
breath and walked over to them.

Soun read the Tokyo newspaper he bought at the airport inently, nodding
and "Mm-hmm"-ing occasionally. He barely heard the "Konnichiwa!" of the
smiley-faced (but slightly makeup defficient) stewardess.

Soun eyed her. "You speak Japanese?" he asked, a bit suspiciously.

Ryoga gulped, sensing the distrusting tone in Soun's voice. "H- hai," he
replied.

Soun continued his suspicious gaze for another second, then suddenly
smiled broadly. "Well, then. Konnichiwa! Ogenki desu ka?"

Ryoga released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Genki
desu, arigatou."

Soun nodded. "So, how did you know we were Japanese, miss?"

Ryoga gulped. "I- I happened to see your ticket, so I figured I'd come
see you for myself, make you feel a bit more welcome."

Soun laughed. "Well, thank you very much!"

Ryoga nodded, a bit more relaxed. "So, where are you headed to?"

"Actually, it's not just me." He waved his hand to all of his family and
companions. "We're all on our way to Disney World for a summer
vacation."

Ryoga said, "Ohhhhh..." He tried his best to sound surprised. He cleared
his throat. "So, which hotel will you be staying at?"

 "Well, we were going to stay at the Dolphin Hotel, but we've finally
decided to stay in the middle of it all, in the Contemporary Hotel."

 Ryoga looked up from his notepad. "How would you spell Contemporary?"
he asked, his voice once again a males.

Soun gave him a strange look.

"I mean, uhh.." Ryoga changed his pitch and had a sweatdrop. "I mean, is
that so?"

Soun nodded slowly, the suspicious look back stronger than before.

"Well, I've got to be returning to my duties. Ja! Errr, uhh, sayonara!"
he stuttered, then backed his way back into second-class, then broke
into a run, stumbling occasionally.

Genma looked up from his strangely delicious rice balls. Somehow he
figured the American chefs wouldn't be able to make it taste very good.
But these were delicious.

Genma saw the look on his friend's face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Soun shook his head. "Nothing. I just thought... That stewardess..."

Genma looked at him strangely, then shrugged and returned to his rice
balls.


Ukyo looked down proudly at her plethora of food she had just finished
cooking. Well, so maybe they didn't appear EXACTLY like they did in the
pictures... But those were just model shots anyway, right?

She ended up using her Japanese cookbook that she brought along, since
she couldn't really read everything perfectly. So she compared the
pictures. And it seemed they came out looking pretty much the same. So
for her spaghetti order, she made soba. For her order of filet mignon,
she had a whole plate of sashimi, with the fish not even cut. And for
her pizza order, she made okonomiyaki! Extra sauce.

She had only had one normal order, which was rice balls. Those she could
do without doubt.
Ukyo smiled warmly. So she COULD cook more than okonomiyaki. She ignored
the sneaking feeling that something wasn't right with the food, but
shrugged it away.

Ryoga burst through the double doors, a large grin pasted on his face.
"I got the info!" He said, his voice filled with excitement.

Before Ukyo could respond, the world around her suddenly turned
sideways. The plane had apparently taken a 90 degree angle up. She
screamed as she saw Ryoga's eyes widen and as she felt herself fall onto
the door of the refrigeration unit. She grimaced when her head hit.
Pots, pans, knives, spoons, eggs and everything not securely fastened
suddenly flew back into the wall that had now become the floor, hitting
Ukyo occasionally. She vaguely noticed the now cold pot of water she
used to cook the soba fall on Ryoga's head. A loud "BUIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
resounded inside the pot as it fell right-side up onto the top part of
the wall.
Slowly the plane returned to it's normal flight position, not without
several erratic movements. Ukyo rolled onto the floor, and Ryoga, still
inside the pot, fell onto the floor from the ceiling. The pot landed
upside-down on him with a CLANG. P-chan pushed up one side and looked
out, dazed.

Ukyo stood up with a painful groan and surveyed the damage. Cooking
utensils were strewn about the room and on the counter that had become
the floor for those few seconds. Ryoga crawled out, knocking over the
pot. "Bui?" he oinked interrogatively at Ukyo.

"What the..." Ukyo muttered, then the realization hit her...
Kuno!

She groaned, then reached down and grabbed P-chan and ran out into the
hallway

"You see? What I tell you?" Shampoo said sternly. Kuno stared, eyes wide
and affixed forward in terror.

"Per... Perhaps we should make haste and leave, lest the true pilots
come." He said, stuttering slightly. He was trying his best to remain
calm. He did exactly what the book said: take the control stick with
both hands and pull towards your body. Of course, the book DID neglect
to tell how hard to pull... So it was the book's fault! However, it was
not the time to worry of such things.

Shampoo wasn't sure what Kuno meant, but she was pretty sure it meant to
get out of there quickly! She turned towards the door and opened it with
Kuno behind her. The left as a voice came on over the radio: "Nippon Air
Flight 363, this is Orlando International. Your flight trajectory is off
course by .058 degrees, your altitude is too low, and your speed is
higher than cruise. Please readjust and prepare for lan-"

The door closed and the two walked quickly, ignoring the questioning and
sometimes accusing stares of the passengers. On the ceiling and back
wall, food and liquid stains were everywhere, not to mention on the
people. A voice came on over the intercom: "Umm, uhh... Please stay
calm. We, uhh, only hit an air pocket. Flight pattern has been resumed.
Please stay calm!"

End of Chapter 5 (finally!!)
Ryoga's Notes: Well, due to Jupa's trip to Japan, (the lucky oni!) she
probably won't be doing any direct writing to the fic. Jupa has been
mainly giving me ideas and scenarios to write out. Anyway, she's been
really busy, so I ended up writing part 5. Speaking of which, I had a
HELL of a time trying to write this damn chapter. I wanted to make it a
lot better, but couldn't word it write. ::shrugs:: Just use your
imagination on lots of this. Hopefully I'll have chapter 6 more thought
out. Anyway, I'll c ya later! Ja!
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-Ryoga Masaki
"Leave it to that KICK-ass Ryoga..." -Ukyo Kuonji (well, kinda...)
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/4189