dreiser1@ix.netcom.com wrote:

the editing process. This is an alternate universe fanfic so I'm going to 
get a bit crazy with it. I remember when I first posted Switching Heirs 
someone wrote to me saying it was too predictable. That it followed 
the orginal storyline too much and if it's an alt universe fic I shouldn't 
be afraid to change not just one thing but everything. That's the basic 
drive behind this series. All right, enough stupid babbling. A special 

OK... all comments strictly my opinion here.

First off, I've nothing against someone trying to pair Kodachi and
Ranma. I was just saying to someone on FFIRC that I'd like to read a
believable Ranma/Kodachi matchup fic.

But the problem with this fic is that the deck seems to be already
stacked to guarantee a R-K ending before it starts. The two of them
already seem to be comitted to one another by the time we meet them. We
see little or none of their personality traits that might threaten their
relationship, such as Ranma's stubbornness or Kodachi's underhandedness.
The only serious opposition to the couple seems to be Genma, and since
Ranma isn't loyal to him the way he is in the canon, that opposition
isn't likely to amount to much. I don't see anything so far that would
prevent R&K from dropping Genma off someplace and living together ever
after.

Now, if Ranma's relationships aren't supposed to be the main point of
this story, then that's fine. Maybe the main conflict in the story is
going to be Tatchi's curse. But if this story is supposed to be about
Ranma and Kodachi's relationship, then IMO there need to be more and
better obstacles for them to overcome. In particular, the characters
need to show more of their distinctive personalities.

BTW, one important grammatical mistake that occurs throughout this fic:
When a speaker addresses someone by name, always set the name off with a
comma. Otherwise you can COMPLETELY change the meaning. "I wanna eat,
Akane," is pretty normal for Ranma, while "I wanna eat Akane" will
result in a well-deserved pounding.


Gary
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html