---
0:5--Little Runaway
For the first time since the initiation of the Human
Implementation Project, Gendou realized how wrong he was to
entrust the fate of mankind in the hands of a depressed, hormonally
unbalanced 14-year-old boy.
Especially when said depressed, hormonally unbalanced
14-year-old boy was piloting a machine capable of making Tokyo-3
into a giant crater.
"Even if you disconnect the power cord, I'll still have enough
power left to destroy this building!" Shinji threatened.
Misato took in a deep breath. "Shinji...don't you think you're
over-reacting a bit?"
"Absolutely not! This is my big chance to win the sympathy of
the world by showing them how miserable I am!"
"Well, at least we know what his motive is," Ritsuko remarked
dryly while the rest of the people in the room (except Gendou, of
course) facefaulted.
Gendou pushed his glasses back up to his nose. "Shinji. For the
last time, I order you to come in quietly."
Unit 01 responded by mysteriously sprouting a tongue and
giving Gendou the raspberry.
Gendou blinked. But, since he was wearing shades, no one
noticed.
"Raise the LCL pressure to the limit," he ordered Ritsuko. "And
get that kid into my office as soon as he wakes up."
"I can still stand here and whine for a full--grgl brbl gag..." Shinji
fought unconsciousness, but quickly discovered that was hard to do
when he couldn't breathe.
And now, a Totally Pointless Dream Sequence:
Radditsu found himself siting in a train observing Shinji (wearing
a plug suit) talking to...well, Shinji (wearing a school uniform).
"Why didn't you fight?" Plug Suit Shinji asked. "It's not like
you've never killed an Angel before."
School Uniform Shinji shook his head. "This time was different."
"Why? Because the Angel possessed an Eva? It still would have
caused the end of the world if no one stopped it."
"But Radditsu..."
"He ended up being more hurt because you refused to do
anything."
"Um...hey," Radditsu called out, walking into the booth. "Don't
you know that talking to yourself is a sign of psychiatric instability?"
Both Shinjis blinked, then answered simultaneously: "So?"
Radditsu opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it.
"Ugh...did someone get the number of that truck?" He groaned.
"There was no truck, Radditsu."
The fuzzy whirl of colors coalesced into a pale-faced girl with
blue hair wearing a school uniform. "Rei! You're okay?"
"Yes, I was not hurt."
"But I heard you scream like someone was pulling your arm off!"
"Commander Ikari ordered Unit 00's arm be severed when the
Angel tried to infiltrate it," Rei answered in the same way someone
might say 'my hamster died today'. "I cried out because of the
neuro-link feedback."
Radditsu examined Rei carefully. "You sure you weren't hurt?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
Radditsu let out a sigh of relief, then winced as his injuries
decided to announce themselves: "Yes, we are still here, and we hurt
like hell." He decided that he preferred to be unconscious, and thus
promptly passed out again.
Handcuffs, while they were designed to create a feeling of
humiliation, when used in the right circumstances could be quite kinky.
The situation that Shinji was facing, however, was definitely not
kinky at all.
After all, how kinky could you feel when you've been arrested
on charges of insubordination?
"I'm disappointed in you, Shinji," Gendou began, using his best
'stern father' tone of voice. Lacking practice, he simply sounded like a
jerk.
Shinji suddenly developed an interest in studying his shoes.
"Unit 01 is not your personal toy for selfish use, understand?"
Shinji muttered something incomprehensible.
"Speak up when you're talking to me."
"I said, 'you don't have to worry about that, because I'm
leaving'."
Gendou pushed his glasses back up to his nose. "In other
words, you're running away." Almost as an afterthought, he added:
"Again."
"But this time, I won't be coming back."
After Shinji left the office, Gendou picked up the phone and
dialed a number.
"Hello, this is Ikari Gendou. The Third Child has just left my
office." he paused to listen to the question. "No, he isn't still
handcuffed."
One full week after the attack of the 13th Angel, Shinji was
once again leaving Tokyo-3. Only Misato was at the train station to
see him off.
"Radditsu just got out of the hospital today, and Asuka's still
mad at you," Misato explained.
"I don't mind. I'd rather that they not see me here, anyway."
The train pulled up to the station. Shinji walked forward to
leave.
"Shinji, wait!" Misato called. She held out his identification card.
"Keep this, it's yours."
Shinji kept walking. "I don't need it any more."
He made a muffled "umph" noise as he collided with the closed
door of the train.
"I meant to do that," Shinji muttered, blushing furiously.
Shinji sighed as he watched the scenery pass by. Before he
could ponder upon the meaning of life, however, the loudspeakers
came to life.
"Attention. An Angel is invading Tokyo-3. The world as we
know it will come to an end. Have a nice day."
'An Angel...?' Shinji shook his head. 'No. I don't care. I'm not
a pilot any more.'
The entire NERV building was rocked with a giant explosion,
knocking everyone down (a la _Star Trek_) except Radditsu, who
had been called in as soon as the Angel was spotted.
Ritsuko was the first to stagger to her feet. "Report!"
The three assistants (otherwise known affectionately as the
"bridge bunnies") scrambled around the displays. "The first 18 layers
of armor have already been penetrated!"
"Send Asuka out into the Geofront," Gendou ordered, as calm
as ever. "What's the status of Unit 00?"
Ristuko shook her head. "No good: the left still hasn't been
regenerated."
"Then send Rei out in Unit 01, and be quick about it."
As the entry plug for Unit 01 was lowered with Rei inside, Maya
began the synchronation sequence.
'Not ready reading drive. Abort, Ignore, Retry, Fail?'
Biting her lip in frustration, Maya typed "retry", and got the same
error message. She tried a third time; still, no luck.
"It's not working!" She reported worriedly to Gendou.
'So she is refusing me.' Gendou pushed his glasses back up to
his nose. "Send Rei out in Unit 00, then. Keep trying to start up Unit
01 with the dummy plug."
Radditsu, his arm still in a sling just in case, glared at Gendou.
"Are you crazy?"
"It's all right, Radditsu," Rei said softly.
"Rei!" Radditsu exclaimed, shocked.
Rei looked away. "If I die, I can be replaced."
"It doesn't matter," Shinji repeated to himself as he wandered
through the streets.
"Hey!" Someone shouted at him. "Get into the shelters, before
you get killed!"
Still continuing to reassure himself that he wasn't needed, Shinji
let his legs take him to the nearest shelter.
'Only one more hit until the armor is exposed...' Misato
thought grimly. "Okay, Asuka, it's up to you, now!"
"Got it," Asuka replied, moving into position. "Let's see the
Great Shinji do _this_!" She yelled as she pumped bullets into the
target.
When the smoke cleared, the Angel was still standing,
completely unharmed.
"What the hell?!?" Asuka grabbed another gun and began firing.
"Why isn't the AT field going down?" Out of the corner of her eye,
she saw something coming after her. Before she could dodge,
however, Unit 02's arms were cut off. "AUGH!"
"Asuka, lure the Angel away as far as you can!" Misato
ordered. "Rei's coming to back you up in a little while, and--"
"No, way!" Asuka growled, charging at the Angel. Straight into
another sharp ribbon aimed straight for Unit 02's head.
"Shitshitshitshit..." Asuka braced herself for the worst.
Thinking quickly, Misato shouted to Hyuuga: "Cut all of Asuka's
neural connections, _now_!"
Asuka went offline seconds before Unit 02's head was severed.
Even Gendou had a hard time not wincing.
Shinji pulled his knees to his chest and let out a relieved sigh. At
long last he was safe, and far enough away that nobody would bother
to go looking for him. At this point, not even Asuka piloting Unit 02
could convince him to go back.
"GAH!" Shinji screamed as a giant orange head crashed through
the ceiling. He instinctively fell into a begging position.
"I'msorryI'msosorryIdidn'tmeanit..." this time, though, he didn't hear
the inevitable "Baka!" followed by the even more inevitable slap.
"Huh?" After waiting nervously for a few more seconds, Shinji dared
to look up.
And screamed again.
Asuka opened her eyes warily, and was immensely relieved to
discover that she wasn't dead. However, she was also slightly
annoyed that she had failed to defeat the Angel.
"Argh! I lost _again_!" She punched her fist at the wall of the
entry plug. "Shinji will never stop rubbing it in if he ever finds out
about this..."
Elsewhere (a few feet away in the control center, to be precise),
Unit 01 still wasn't starting.
"Try again," Gendou ordered.
'It's not working, you idiot. Do I have to spell it out to you
more clearly?'
Ritsuko made a mental note to run a full diagnostic on the Magi
before reporting to Gendou: "Still no good."
0:6--Citizens of Tokyo-3, I Have Returned Shinji walked out
of the shelter and began wandering aimlessly.
"Shinji?" a familiar voice called to him.
Shinji swung his head around, and was surprised to see an
equally familiar face. "Kaji-san? What are you doing here?"
Kaji grinned. "That's supposed to be my line, kid." he gestured
to Shinji. "You first."
"I...I decided not to be a pilot any more."
"I see. As for me, my last job got...exposed," Kaji winced at the
memory. "So I've been watering here since then."
"Even now?"
"Especially now." Kaji bent down and patted his watermelons
affectionately. "They remind me of Misato's breasts, which is where
I'd prefer to die, but here will do."
"D-die?"
Kaji smiled sadly. "Let's just say that if the Angel isn't stopped,
all human life will be terminated."
Shinji gasped as Unit 00, carrying and N2 bomb in her
remaining arm, ran by. "Ayanami!"
Back in the control room, Ritsuko was equally shocked. "Is she
trying to blow herself up?"
"No!" Radditsu shouted. "Rei, don't!"
"I'm sorry," Rei replied over the intercom. "AT field, full power!"
The Angel's attacks simply bounced off of Unit 00's field; when it was
close enough, Unit 00 forced the Angel's AT field slightly apart and
forced the N2 bomb through it.
The bomb detonated.
A strangled noise came from Shinji's throat when he saw that the
Angel was still standing.
Kaji continued to empty his watering can onto his garden.
"Shinji, I can't do anything...but I bet you can." Shinji didn't answer.
"It's up to you." Shinji still made no sound. "You know, you _do_
need to breathe every once in a while."
The entire NERV compound shook omimously again.
"Oh, God...the armor plate has been completely penetrated!" a
nameless technician shouted. Several other nameless technicians
crossed themselves and mumbled a short prayer without realizing it.
"Isn't Unit 01 ready yet?" Ritsuko asked, wringing her hands. All
replies were in the negative.
Radditsu clenched his free fist. "Let me pilot it, then!"
Gendou shook his head. "You are in no condition to pilot an
Eva."
Radditsu fought back the urge to tear Gendou apart then and
there. "If Rei can pilot with only one arm, then so can I!"
"No." Gendou turned to Ritsuko. "Try starting Unit 01 again,
from the top."
"I'll pilot it!" A voice screamed from the hangar.
"Back already, Shinji?" Gendou asked, a slightly sarcastic tone
in his voice.
"Well...they closed the trains, so I had to take a taxi...but that's
not what's important." Shinji took in a deep breath and stared his
father directly in his...uh, glasses. "I am the pilot of Unit 01, Ikari
Shinji!"
"Tell us something else we don't know..." Radditsu muttered
under his breath.
Shinji managed to catch up to the Angel just as it landed in front
of the control room, attacking with a ferocity only previously seen
when the Dummy Plug had taken over. He didn't even seem to be
bothered by the fact that the Angel cut off his arm.
He was immensely upset, however, when Unit 01 ran out of
power.
"Move! Move! Move! Please move!" Shinji begged his Eva, his
voice rising as hysteria began taking over. "Move move move move
move move!" He banged his fists on the controls. "Move, or I'll--I'll
feed you Misato's curry!"
Unit 01's eyes suddenly took a very strange glow.
"T-the Eva restarted..." Maya stuttered, in shock. She read the
outputs that the Magi gave and gasped. "Sync rate is 400%...!"
"That means...'she' has awakened..." Ritsuko muttered to
herself, watching Unit 01 regenerate a human-looking arm out of one
of the Angel's 'tentacles'.
Maya turned a very unnatural shade of green as Unit 01 tore the
Angel apart and began stuffing its parts down its mouth.
"Looks delicious," Radditsu remarked, grinning. "Hey, Shinji!"
He called out. "Save me some!"
Maya turned an even darker shade of green, leaned over, and
threw up.
After Unit 01 finished devouring the Angel's core, it reared its
'head' back and let out a deafening roar, the 'armor' around it
cracking and splitting apart at the same time.
Ritsuko blanched. "The binding..."
Misato raised an eyebrow. "Binding?"
Caught by her own words, Ritsuko had no choice but to explain
that the 'armor' around Unit 01 was actually used to restrain and
control its power. "...but now, the Eva is out of our hands..."
A former spy watering a garden of round br--er, melons--smiled
to himself as he watched. "Things just get more and more
interesting...SEELE isn't going to be too happy about this." he
emptied the can onto his beloved plants. "Was this in your plans, too,
Gendou?"
Gendou bit back a sneeze. 'Darn these allergies...'
As Kaji predicted, SEELE was extremely upset at the recent
turn of events.
"The Eva took in the S2 organ by ingesting it. How unusual."
"More importantly, it was not in the scenario."
"And it's something that can't be undone easily."
"We shouldn't have trusted Gendou with NERV."
"He was the only one that had the resources to implement our
plans...but now, what is he thinking...?"
Someone swallowed nervously before piping up. "Say...isn't this
getting a bit old?"
The other members of SEELE stood up as one and beat the
hapless fellow into the ground.
0:7--Trapped in the Throne of the Soul (Without a Good Book)
As the staff were relocated to a new center due to the extensive
damage done during the previous night's battle, and those in charge
discussed the significance Unit 01's 'feeding', a small problem arose in
attempting to retrieve Unit 01's pilot.
There was nothing in the entry plug save LCL. And a note
saying, "Having a hallucination. Will be back in a month!"
Misato gaped at the image. "What the..."
"That's what happens when 400% synchronization is reached,"
Ritsuko explained.
"So...what happened to Shinji?"
Ritsuko looked a bit uncomfortable. "He was...absorbed."
"What are you talking about?" Misato stared at Unit 01, which
had already moved on its own three times even though it supposedly
had no connections to any power source. "What the hell is Eva,
anyways?"
Ritsuko looked even more uncomfortable. "All I can say is that
it's man's attempt to create something in his own image."
Misato laughed bitterly. "Create? Ha! You only copied what
you found in the Antarctic."
Ritsuko shook her head. "No, it arose from human will."
"Whose?" Misato demanded. Ritsuko only directed her eyes to
the floor.
Rei opened her eyes to find herself in the hospital.
"I'm alive...?" she whispered to herself.
A mass of black to her right caught her attention. Craning her
head slightly, she saw that it was Radditsu, who had fallen asleep
watching her.
"....................."
Shinji opened his eyes, and immeadiately realized that he wasn't
in his entry plug any more. Heck, he wasn't even in Tokyo-3, either.
"Hello?" He called out timidly. As his voice echoed, the particles
around him began to glow and swirl, coalescing into a figure with
about the same height, but rounder. Much, _much_ rounder.
"Pervert," a female voice chided playfully.
Shinji blinked as the figure became recognizable. "Ayanami...?"
"Wrong!" The black-haired girl declared. "I'm your soul. Or, at
least, a manifestation of your soul." 'she' thought about this for a while.
"Actually..." 'she' shook her head. "Nah, never mind."
This made Shinji even more confused. "My soul...?"
"Yeah. I can take many forms, but this one ended up being the
most appropriate." Shinji's soul sighed. "Now I think I can see why."
'she' snapped 'her' fingers, and two chairs appeared. "Sit down. It'll
be a while before they get you out."
Shinji sat, as did his soul. "Where is this place, anyway?"
"That's more of a metaphysical question, but..." Shinji's soul
tapped 'her' chin thoughfully, then continued cheefully: "To tell you the
truth, I have no idea whatsoever."
Radditsu knocked on the open door of Rei's hospital room with
his formerly injured arm. "Hey, Rei. You awake?"
"Yes."
Radditsu walked in and placed a large stack of paper on the
desk next to Rei's bed. "Here are the notes that you missed. Have
fun." looking around to make sure no one was looking, Radditsu
pulled out a small package from his jacket. "Cookies, from Hikari. I
think Asuka made some of them, too." he smiled sheepishly. "I hope
you don't mind that I ate a couple of them; they're really good."
remembering something else, Radditsu reached into his jacket again.
"Oh, and here's what you wanted me to bring." he handed her a small
pair of cracked shades, as well as the keys to her apartment.
Rei's cheeks turned an unusual shade of pink. "Th...thank you."
"No problem," Radditsu grinned. "Get well soon, okay?"
"How's it going?" Misato asked, peering over Ritsuko's
shoulder.
"I think I've figured out what happened." Ritsuko brought up a
screen of numbers and letters and pointed at one of the lines. "Here.
This suggests that Shinji's still in the plug, but his physical body
disappeared because he lost his ego-border."
"Why am I not surprised?" Misato murmured to herself. Louder,
she asked, "So it's possible to get him back?"
"Theoretically, yes."
"Theoretically?" Misato repeated. "You mean something like this
has never happened before?"
"Well...there was an accident before I got here, and they tried
the same retrieving procedure on the person who disappeared."
Ritsuko drew in a breath. "It didn't work."
Shinji's soul twiddled 'her' thumbs idly. "So...how have things
been with you?"
"Don't you know?"
Shinji's soul rolled 'her' eyes. "No. You're always locking me up
in a little corner somewhere." Shinji's soul shook a finger at him.
"That's not very healthy, you know."
Shinji's chair suddenly disappeared, and was replaced with a
psychiatrists' couch. "Huh?"
"Now," Shinji's soul intoned with a heavy accent. "Tell me avout
yourzelf."
"Well?" Ritsuko asked when the smoke had cleared from the
room.
Maya shook her head. "No good. It's as if he doesn't want to
come back."
Misato stared at the silent Unit 01. "Shinji...why?"
"...and I ended up here."
"Verry innteresting," Shinji's soul stoked an imaginary beard. "Zo
you deeslike your father, eh?" 'She' chuckled. "How Freudian."
The chair and the couch suddenly vanished, leaving both Shinji
and his soul sitting on the ground. "What was that?"
"They're trying to get you back."
Shinji looked away. "I don't think I want to go back."
"Of course you'll go back." Shinji's soul looked a little sad.
"Things will go right back to normal, and you'll forget this ever
happened...and I'll get stuck back in my little corner."
The entry plug of Unit 01 was beginning to activate.
"Cut off the power, _now_!" Ritsuko all but shouted.
Maya frantically typed in the commands. "I can't! It's not
accepting the commands!"
"Dammit! Why do the commands never work when they really
need to?" Ritsuko stamped her foot. "I tried to warn Mother about
that Bill Gates and his OS..."
The entry plug opened, and LCL spilled out of it onto the floor.
"NO!" Misato screamed, collapsing. "Shinji-kun! Shinji-kun!
Shinji-kun!"
"It's time." Shinji's soul began to shimmer and fade.
"Wait!"
Shinji's soul gave him a little push. "Go. People are counting on
you." with that, she disappeared completely.
Misato gasped as Shinji was 'spat' upon the metal walkway as
naked as the day he was born.
"Shinji-kun! Go put some clothes on!"
Fortunately for the readers, a nearby rail conveniently blocked
their view.
Ritsuko rubbed her temples. "Boy, am I glad that's over. How
about a drink on me to celebrate?"
"Sorry, I can't," Misato declined. "I've got...other things to do
tonight."
Ritsuko shot Misato a wilting glare. "Well, don't go home too
late or you'll worry Shinji."
0:8--The Price of Truth
In the room of a love hotel at the edge of Tokyo-3, a fully
dressed Misato and Kaji looked at one another somewhat sheepishly.
"Um..." Misato began.
Kaji dropped something into her hand. "Here. For you. As a
goodbye present." seeing her confused look, he pulled her closer and
whispered in her ear: "The Authoress doesn't do lemon scenes."
Misato brightened. "Ah." She grinned. "As if that was anybody's
business, right, Kaji-kun?"
Kaji winced. "Please don't call me that."
Sometime later...
Misato supressed a twitch. "Fuyutsuki was kidnapped?"
The nameless SEELE grunt nodded. "Yes. We suspect the one
responsible for this is Kaji Ryouji. Since you know him, you're also
under suspicion for the moment."
"I understand," Misato managed to grind out between clenched
teeth.
The nameless grunt smiled mirthlessly. "Thank you very much."
The Vice-Commander of NERV regarded the monoliths before
him coolly. "You know, if you wanted to speak to me, you could
have arranged an appointment."
Keele coughed. "Well, this was a rather urgent matter."
Monolith 07 spoke up next. "Yes. As you can see, we finally
know who's saying what."
Monolith 03 leaned forward. "More importantly, Gendou's
recent actions have been inexcusable."
Monolith 05 took a sip out of his NERV (tm) mug. "No hard
feelings, of course, but we'll have to keep you in our custody for a
while."
Fuyutsuki was contemplating the gray walls of his cell as he felt
his cuffs being released. He let out a soft gasp. "Who--?"
"Sorry about that," Kaji apologized.
Fuyutsuki stood, rubbing his sore wrists. "You do realize the
consequences of your actions."
Kaji smiled sadly. "All I want is the truth."
"You can't--" Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Nah. It doesn't sound
right when I say it."
"You're free to leave," the nameless SEELE grunt told Misato,
handing back her gun.
"Already?"
"Yes. We've...'taken care' of things."
Kaji took in a deep breath as he heard the approaching
footsteps. "You're late," he commented casually, turning.
He facefaulted when he saw who was pointing the gun at him.
"Misato's been coming home late an awful lot lately," the small
warm-water penguin stated with an accusatory tone. It unlatched the
safety of its gun. "And _someone's_ been filching my beer."
Upon reaching home, Misato saw that her answering machine
was blinking. She pressed the 'play' button.
"Hi, babe, it's me, 'Kaji-kun'. I just wanted to apologize to you
and Ritchan. Also, I wanted ask one more tiny little favor from you.
I've been doing a bit of gardening, and I need someone to water my
plants for me. Ask Shinji for the directions." a pause, then, softer:
"You have the truth. I trust you know what to do with it." an even
longer pause. "If I see you again, I'll have something to say to you.
Ciao."
Misato broke into uncontrollable sobbing. "WAH~~~~!
Kaji-kun dumped me!"
---
-"Dot"
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