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Insert Standard Copyright Disclaimer.
< The characters used in this work of Fiction are not owned by
  me.

 Ranma 1/2 and all associated characters, trademarks and
 situations are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, Fuji
 and Viz - Used here without permission. >

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[Ranma 1/2]:     Mirror, Mirror.

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Chapter 3 : The importance of being shirted.

Ranma and Ranko looked up from where they were doing identical
katas. They stared open mouthed at their father as if he was going
insane, senile or a combination of both. For a second there was no
sound outside the Tendou household except the twittering of birds
and the faint sounds of Kasumi clearing the breakfast items away.
     This was quickly remedied as both Saotome teens yelled in one
voice "School? Are you crazy!? For BOTH of me?!?!" Genma shrugged
as he fended off the fists that sought his body, helped by the fact
that both of them were trying to hit him at once.
     As he calmly avoided the four fumbling hands, the older man
said "Well, we are going to be staying here awhile and you still
need more practice in control. See? You can hardly get me now!
Weakling!" Genma laughed briefly. He broke off as Ranko closed her
eyes and Ranma grabbed him, throwing his father into the handy
pond.
     Things degenerated from there.

Nabiki looked up from the table, hearing sounds that she did not
want to be hearing at this time of the morning; sounds of heavy
fighting from the front of the yard. She sighed; more martial
artists appeared to mean more property damage.
     Nabiki took a deep breath and tried to remain calm as she
quickly stepped outside. Catching a glimpse of one of the pond's
rocks flying past her head she hoped that this was not an omen of
what was being done. Looking around, she saw that Ranko was
standing with her eyes closed. Nabiki smiled. Good girl, no money
wasted there. Ranma, however, was leaping around the pond, kicking
and punching his panda of a father. This sight caused Nabiki to
breathe again; they were causing a bit of property damage, but no
where near the amount that she'd feared. They did, however, appear
to be disturbing the koi.
     At least the two of them were keeping it mainly in one area,
only the occasional thrown body actually made it to the compound
walls.
     Nabiki was about re-enter the house and get ready for school
when she noticed the gate moving. Looking closer, she realised that
it was Akane, trying to sneak out of the front gate. "No, no, no,
Akane-chan, I don't think so..." Smiling as those words ran through
her mind, Nabiki opened her mouth to speak.
      The gate was opening, quietly, quietly, gently does it...
Akane eased it open, silently exulting as no noise gave her away.
This early in the day, no one would suspect that she was leaving
for school. She was about to slip quietly out when, out of the
corner of her eye and across the yard, she saw Nabiki step out of
the house. Stopping suddenly and praying that the older girl did
not see her, Akane stayed still.
     Glancing at what held her older sister's eyes, Akane's mouth
twisted in distaste. Sure, practice Martial Arts, but not in our
POND of all places. The younger girl's face took on a smile as she
saw Nabiki start to turn back into the house.
     It fell once more as that head snapped back, this time looking
directly at her. Seeing the gleam in the shorthaired girl's eye,
Akane's face took on a look of pure horror. No! No, Nabiki! Don't
you dare!
     "Hey Akane! Where're you going? Your fiance," Nabiki decided
at the last second to omit the plural, seeing the wild look on
Akane's she judged that adding it would only make her sister bolt,
"doesn't know where the school is! Don't you think you should take
him?" Nabiki's eyes gleamed. Chuckling silently, she decided that
Ranma and his better half were going to be good to have around.
     Akane reluctantly re-entered her family's home grounds,
swearing that she'd get even with Nabiki if it was the last thing
she did. Musing that maybe she should deliberately leave Nabiki's
food bland next time she cooked for the family she smiled wickedly.
Yes, that's what she'd do. Cook everyone else a perfectly seasoned
dinner, and leave Nabiki's plain. Yes, yes, that's what she'd do!
     Nabiki was a little surprised as Akane broke into ominous
laughter. Poor Sis, she must really be losing it.
     "Ranma!" Ranma declined to turn from where he was choking his
father beside the pond, "Ranma!" Nabiki paused again, wondering how
she could catch his attention, "Your fiancee is about to go to
school."
     Ranma stopped dead still, his hands falling from his father's
neck, shocked. Genma landed a solid kick, which threw his
shell-shocked son sideways into the pond. Ranma sat up, gaping at
Nabiki like a fish out of water, while Ranko shivered in tune.
Geez, so everyone is into this marriage thing besides me? What
happened to free choice? Ranma turned in the water and looked at
Akane, glaring back as she stared sullenly at him across the pond.
     This was not going to be a good day.

The trio trudged wearily towards their chosen place of educational
torture. Ranma and Ranko, now wearing matching red and white
Chinese shirts, were staring wistfully at the fence to the left of
them. Akane marched along in silence, occasionally shooting glances
at their handhold.
     "Would you perverts stop holding hands all the time?" She
fired another glare at the oblivious pair.
     Ranma and Ranko stared longingly at the fence, it was just
perfect, the type of fence that would hold their weight easily.
They sighed, keeping their balance while both of them were walking
was easy enough, but trying to keep it on a fence top would be
impossible. Damn, I wish I could get this two at once thing
working.
     "Huh?" Two heads swivelled in perfect sync towards her, two
voices asked in exactly the same questioning tone "Sorry, what'cha
say?"
     Akane's teeth ground silently, listening to the overlaying
timbres was just plain irritating. "Ranma, you must enjoy holding
your own hand." She spoke somewhat sourly, pointing to their
handhold. "You do it all the time."
     "Nah, actually it sucks. Sweat tends to build up in between
the two palms and gets all slippery..." They trailed off as Akane
looked at them as though they'd gone crazy. "Well it does!"
     "Anyway, has to do with size." they sighed in stereo.
     "What do you mean? Size?" Akane looked at them walking along,
wondering if she actually wanted to know.
     "Well Ranma's are bigger than Ranko's, so I need some way to
stop him spurting ahead." The two heads bobbed in synchronised
confirmation. Yep that's that settled.
     "Bigger... Spurting ahead?" Akane's face blushed bright red.
"You PERVERT!" Akane glared at the pair as she swung her school bag
at them.
     "Pervert? No!" They dodged, causing Ranma to jump into the
fence as Ranko leapt sideways to avoid the bag. "No! No! I mean
step size, Ranma outdistances Ranko with a longer stride and it
makes keeping 'me' together almost impossible." They both looked
pained as they tried to explain, the wording confusing all parties.
"Look, if I don't Ranko falls behind and Ranma gets ahead and it
makes turning corners _really_ difficult, okay?" Comprehension
wrote itself across Akane's face. She nodded, then turned and
continued on her way.
     Silence reigned for a few blessed moments before it was broken
again.
     "We're not getting married you know..." Akane looked over at
the nearest of the two, Ranko, and was again annoyed to see that
the pair were staring at the fence. What did they see in that
stupid fence anyway?
     "You aren't the only one thinking that." The dual tone, while
grating, was surprisingly good at conveying irritation. Thinking
about 'Uncle' Saotome, Akane realised that it had probably been
used a lot for that purpose.
     Ranma and Ranko looked thoughtfully at the clouds beyond the
fence. The marriage had been arranged far too fast for them as
well. Not to say that they might not get used to the idea, but at
present they were too new to both their curse and their choices for
the 'arrangement' to be appropriate.
     Akane turned to him thoughtfully; well at least they accepted
that. She paused again, then muttered loudly, "Don't hang around me
at school either!" If they did that, who knows what would get
spread about me.
     Ranma and Ranko looked at her briefly and then returned,
"Don't worry," Akane relaxed prematurely, "it ain't like hanging
with violent, macho chicks is my favourite pastime ya know."
Akane raised her book bag, intending to give Ranma or Ranko a
reason to continue such remarks.
     A rush of footsteps announced a heavy figure just before it
appeared atop the fence. A shocked look passed over Genma's face as
he realised that there was no Ranma in front of him. The boy was
slacking on his training! The overweight martial artist jumped down
off the fence.
     Wapping his two children on the backs of their heads, he
berated "Your training is lacking boy! You know you should be on
the fence! You'll lose your sense of balance!"
     Both the teens turned around, Ranma dropping Ranko's hand as
he did so. "Pop! What's up..." Ranma and Ranko both struck out,
Ranma's open handed pat connecting with Genma's gut while Ranko's
half mirrored strike missed to the side. "Putting on more weight
causing you to worry about your center of balance?"
     "No, you ungr..."
     "Well... it's causing you to slow down, old man." Ranma
slapped his father's gut a few more times, faster than Genma could
block. Next to him, the few strikes that Ranko repeated were at an
even faster rate.
     "Boy, your training IS slacking! You're using both bodies! You
haven't done that since China." Genma pointed to the mirroring
Ranko, trying to stop the slighting slaps to his girth.
     "Hey! I'm trying to stop having to close whoever's eyes I'm
not using. That's training you old fool!" Ranma and Ranko snapped
out angrily.
      "Huh! I bet you can't even keep her moving while taking me
on!" Ranma wanted to groan; his resources were being stretched just
doing this.
     "I tell you what," Genma smiled condescendingly, seeing the
look of strain on Ranma's face, "you can even close her eyes."
Ranma and Ranko's faces seemed to undergo an instant transformation
as their mouths stretched into massive grins. Genma suddenly had
second thoughts about the whole thing.
     His ego rising to meet his father's dare, Ranma exclaimed "Yes
I can!" Sweat rose on both teenagers' brows as Ranko closed her
eyes and attempted to walk casually to school.
     Genma jumped up onto the fence top. "Join me up here then,
boy!" Ranma jumped up onto the fence. Unfortunately, Ranko mirrored
the jump but was obviously going to miss the fence. She opened her
eyes in shock as she started to fall to the ground short of it.
Ranma swung around as she fell, attempting to catch her. They both
stretched their arms out, reaching for one another. Their eyes met
and both shuddered, breaking their concentration.
     Ranko fell to the ground with a muffled thump, Ranma landing
on top of her as his balance gave out.
     "Damn." Both of them ruefully rubbed their heads. If only
there was some way to keep Ranko on track, some way to keep her
moving in the right direction. Ranma was musing this thought as his
eyes lit on Akane, who had decided to ignore the two idiots
fighting and continue walking to school.
     "Hey, Akane!" Ranko and Ranma stood simultaneously, "Hold my
hand!" Ranma shut his eyes as Ranko ran forward and latched onto
Akane's hand. "Just keep walking!" she told the taller girl.
     Akane's eyes displayed her shock for all to see. She stared
down at the smaller hand in hers, then across at the red head's
closed eyes. Mechanically she stepped forward, continuing the last
course her mind had set her on before temporarily shutting down.
Ranko, following suit, stepped forward with her left foot.
     Ranma stared at them briefly and wondered if he could keep it
up. He jumped up onto the fence and cursed as Ranko once again half
followed his lead. In fact the only reason that she hadn't was that
she'd been holding onto Akane. "Thanks Akane. I knew you were good
for something."
     At the back of Akane's eyes a dim glow appeared.
     Genma looked startled for a second as Ranma uttered his
thanks, then suddenly snapped his fingers. "That's right, boy! I
came to tell you to mind your manners when speaking to your
fiancee!" He laughed briefly while scratching the back of his head.
"With all the talk about training, it must have slipped my mind."
     The glow intensified.
     "You can't be choosy about women in your..." Genma started
grandly, while Ranma looked on in disgust. Stepping forward the
younger Saotome swept his father off the fence and into the canal
on the side.
     "Huh, Pop?" Ranma crowed as a Panda head appeared above the
water, growling angrily.
     There was a slight sound, like a popping or a snapping, behind
his back and in Ranko's direction that he ignored at present. After
all, what was more important than teasing the old man?
     Ranma continued "I'm sorry," he said while cupping his hand
behind his ear, "weren't you trying to say some..." The sudden wave
of pain, felt through Ranko, cut off what he going to say and
caused him to fall backwards off the fence.
     Ranko opened her eyes and stared at the surface in front of
her. It appeared to be concrete, pitted and stained with age and
looking like it had been out in the weather for an aeon. In fact,
it probably would look quite nice, if she wasn't plastered so close
to it that her nose had created it's own little impression. Peeling
herself off the telephone pole, Ranko looked over her shoulder.
Akane had stopped, bag held high as though it had just smashed
something forward at great force and almost glowing with anger.
     "Touching my hand! Grabbing it! You PERVERT!" She had just
started to stalk off towards school again when a dripping panda
jumped up onto the fence. It then ran past the not-moving Ranma,
Akane and grabbed Ranko. It picked the smaller girl up and threw
her even further down the street, then growfed out short sentence
and lifted a sign with its paw. "Nice try boy, but you moved too
fast. Listen to me if you want some advice on how to handle women!"
Ranko landed lightly from the throw, glanced briefly at the sign
and then closed her eyes.
     Unnoticed by all but the god of weird coincidences, a small
elderly lady slowly approached the front of her pathway. Washing it
as she had for years, she ladled the cold water out of a bucket and
splashed it liberally across the stones at her feet.
     Ranma rose behind the seated panda and booted it away while he
and Ranko both shouted "What made you think I was moving at all!
Especially with a chick like that!"
     Akane flattened him from behind. "What do you mean by that!?"
     Ranma and Ranko opened their mouths to reply when the old
lady, who had come up slowly behind the red headed girl, splashed
Ranko with water. Both Saotomes spluttered in surprise, eyes wide
and mouths gaping. Ranma closed his eyes as they both muttered
"Brilliant, just what I needed."
     Ranko turned to continue her "conversation" with Akane,
opening her mouth to give a very detailed description of exactly
what she meant by that. However, when she looked over she realised
that Akane had gone from angry to shocked and had no intention of
saying anything else. Heh, thanks little old lady. I guess I owe
ya. Walking over to where Ranma stood and ignoring the way that
Akane's eyes followed her every move, she grasped Ranma's hand and
asked, "Well? Are we going?"
     Akane stood open mouthed for a second and then squeezed out
"Go home!"
     Ranma opened his eyes and both sets looked at her in surprise.
"What?"
     "Go home and change! Now!" Akane raised an unsteady finger and
pointed at Ranko, ignoring the dual tone.
     Ranko and Ranma looked down, to where Akane was indicating,
"What are you..." they trailed off. "Ah."
     Two adolescent boys on the other side of the road held their
noses as they stared as at what Akane had pointed out.
     The white Chinese shirt that Ranko had put on that morning was
one of their favourites; light, comfortable and loose. It made for
an almost perfect wear. It also appeared to turn almost invisible
when it was wet.
     "Don't worry," Ranko began as Ranma closed his eyes and
dropped the handhold, "I can fix this." Ranko took her shirt off,
revealing that she had not grasped the concept of bras yet, before
casually wringing it out. The red head then shook it a little,
checked for obvious drips and put it back on.
     "See? Good as new!" She looked around. Akane was holding her
head; what was wrong now? And come to think of it, what were those
two boys doing sleeping across the other side of the road?
Shrugging she grabbed Ranma's hand. "Now we can go."
     Akane was shaking her head in mortified shock, muttering
little passages like "I don't believe this.", "How could you do
that." and "This must be a nightmare." over and over to herself
like some sort of mantra.
     "Akane?" Ranko reached out with her left hand and tapped the
taller girl on the shoulder. "Are you alright? We can go to
school," they paused, "or, if you're feeling sick we could just go
back to your house..." The casual tone of voice that Ranma and
Ranko used to throw that sentence out in no way disguised which
option they'd rather.
     "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" Akane suddenly turned and screamed at
them. "YOU... JUST... HOW COULD YOU JUST... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
STREET! AND IT HASN'T HELPED AT ALL!!"
     Ranma and Ranko stared down at the now only partially
invisible shirt, considering it for a minute and trying to ignore
the hysterical tone. "Oh I don't know. Hang on, I think if I do it
again..." Ranko's hand hadn't even moved a fraction of an inch
towards the hem of her shirt when it was caught in a vice like grip.
     "Don't. Even. Think. About. It." underlying Akane's mild tone
was a definite threat of violence. "Come here. NOW." Akane tore the
book bag off Ranko's back and rammed it against her chest. "Hold
that there and DON'T move it." Ranko was about to ask what was
wrong when she was dragged off by Akane at a speed that would have
done most cars proud. Ranma followed, getting more practice at
ignoring one body while doing something with the other.

Ranma pulled his gaze off the clouds and stared at the top of the
sign. There was a single kanji visible on the concrete pillar over
the top of the back of Ranko's head, "Mox" He said it aloud as he
read it, ignoring the stares of passing people as they looked at
Ranko's still form. The redhead had her arms wrapped around the
cold concrete in front of her.
     Ranko's eyes opened and she followed the writing down as it
passed in front of her nose, "ibus"
     Neither of them could see the rest of the sign, hidden as it
was by Ranko's lower half, but they could guess the rest. Ranko was
pressed face first against a square concrete pillar that made up
the corner of a fence and had 'moxibustion' painted down the side
that she was hugging. Were they at a doctor's office?
     Wondering what Akane was doing, Ranma leant around the corner,
watching her as she knocked on a nondescript door. Glancing briefly
at another side of the same pillar, Ranma read off 'Acupuncture'.
Yeah, this had to be a doctor's office.
     Ranma returned his gaze to the door of the office, where Akane
was talking to someone in the doorway that he couldn't see. The
doctor? He was just beginning to wonder what she was doing when a
hand fell across Ranko's shoulder.
     Ranma's eyes glazed over as Ranko turned and stared over her
shoulder at the person whose hand it was. A toothy grin smiled back
at her. It was the type of smile that most people don't achieve
until they're dead. The fact that this smile was borne by one that
was dead didn't help much. The skeleton stared back at her,
grinning, as most skeletons like to do.
     Both Ranko and Ranma leapt up onto the side of the pillar,
grabbing for the top with an ease that belied the effort expended.
As they saw the man that was carrying the skeleton they slowly slid
down it again in a small facefault.
     After collapsing into a heap at the foot of the stone column
they both quickly stood back up, Ranko turning and embracing the
pillar once more as a long lost friend.
     "Oh pardon me!" The man stared at them, smiling. "I didn't see
you there. Nothing to worry about, this is just my skeleton,
Betty." He stared curiously at the small red headed girl that was
hugging the pillar "Is there anything wrong?"
     "Nah, I just can't move from this spot or else I'll die."
Ranko and Ranma replied, thinking about the death threat that Akane
had just issued them with - Not that that was what was stopping
them from moving. Nor did it have anything to do with the look in
her eyes.
     "Oh, why is that?" Tofu looked at them and, noticing the
similarities, decided that they were siblings. They look like
twins; in fact I'd say that they were identical twins except for
their genders. Hmmm, if they share that 'twin link' phenomenon,
that could almost explain the simultaneous talking. Nodding to
himself, Tofu decided to re-read the article when he got back into
his office, maybe it would be worth the trouble.
     "This ma..."
     They were interrupted with a "RANMA!" as Akane came around the
corner. She knew that those idiots were about to say nasty things
about her to... Her eyes fell on who they were talking to and she
felt her mouth dry. Thank GOD I came back now!
     She was clutched a dry shirt in her hands and stared at the
two Saotomes with the kind of eyes that promised death if they
continued that thought. Quickly throwing the shirt to the pig
tailed girl, she said, "Here Ranko, find somewhere to change and
get into this."
     Ranma closed his eyes as Ranko stepped around the corner.
Doctor Tofu watched them both with an interested gleam about his
eyes, and then he looked back at the uniformed girl in front of
him.
     Akane looked at the older man holding his skeleton and flushed
slightly as his face became animated. Comprehension flashed across
Tofu's face, causing his eyebrows to lift slightly as he realised
what the girl in front of him had come for. "Ahh, so Akane, you've
come to pick up that shirt? You left it here, what, nearly two
weeks ago?" Tofu paused, trying to remember exactly as Akane nodded
quickly. Tofu continued, "Yes, it was two weeks last Sunday. You
rushed off so quickly afterwards I couldn't give it to you." He
nodded to himself, causing Betty to rattle slightly.
     "I had it cleaned, so you won't find any ointment on it. You
really didn't have to pick it up yourself you know, I would have
happily dropped it off at your place." He smiled, Akane was almost
as nice as Kas... Ka... his glasses fogged up slightly, Ka... her
older sister.
     Akane quickly shook her head, "No sensei, I didn't want to put
you to the trouble. Besides, I have more. You could have held onto
this for a little longer..." She blushed slightly as she trailed
off. Then with a small exclamation, she hastily bowed. "Oh, sorry!
Good morning Sensei!" How could she forget to greet him! What would
he think of her now?
     Tofu chuckled to himself, then bowed as well, rattling
slightly as he dragged Betty along with him. "That's alright,
Akane. Good morning to you too."
     Around the corner, Ranko paused as she was taking off her damp
shirt, listening to what Ranma heard. Ranma stared through slitted
eyelids at the blush that spread itself over Akane's cheeks.
Interesting.
     As he studied Akane's face, Ranma heard Doctor Tofu ask "I'm
surprised you took so long to pick it up, you're usually around
here every week or so. No injuries lately then? That's good to
know." Doctor Tofu's smile shone cheerfully.
     Akane blushed as she stuttered out, "N... no sensei, I haven't
done anything lately that could..." Akane twiddled her fingers.
"injure me... Lately." She smiled at him.
     Ranma closed his eyes again as Ranko slid the shirt the rest
of the way off, and then pulled the one that Akane had given her
down over her head. Well, she has to be satisfied with this, ain't
no way nobody can see through this. Ranko glanced down briefly at
her well-endowed chest. Nope, nothing showing through, she should
be satisfied now.

The trio raced through the streets, startling other pedestrians
with the trail of dust that rose behind them.
     Ranma and Ranko looked at their silent companion, pondering
what exactly had happened back at the office. They opened their
mouths, intending to ask a question, but paused before the first
syllable left their mouths. They stared to the sky for a second,
then broke their wordless pause to ask the now slightly revised
question, "So? Who was that?"
     Akane stared at the ground for a second, watching as it flew
past beneath her feet. "Doctor Tofu." She looked up, "He's the
local Chiropractor. He's taken care of my injuries ever since I was
little."
     Ranko's mouth took on a slight smirk, which Ranma's echoed
exactly. I bet the guy's also a martial artist. He snuck up on me
pretty well. Their eyes questioned as they looked at the girl in
her school uniform, "So, he's a man, isn't he?"
     Akane's mouth twitched as she asked, "What does that have to
do with anything?"
Ranko and Ranma jumped together up over a post box that was sitting
in their way, landing a little awkwardly and stumbling for a second
as both bodies caught their balance at once. "I thought you hated
all men?" Their stereo tone was light, deceptively so.
     Akane frowned slightly as she looked down once more.
     Streets flashed past, but Akane was still silent as they
turned a final corner. Ranma and Ranko took their first look at the
school that was to be theirs for as long as this mad scheme of
their father was taking place.
     "Yes, that's right. I hate..." Akane was talking but the teen
Saotomes were more interested in the building in front of them now.
     The place seemed very much like their last school. Well
at least the gate, fence and large sign announcing the name of the
place were the same. The outside seemed very similar indeed, except
for the large mass of male students pouring out of gates. Ranma
noted that there were representatives of most sports in the crowd,
weightlifters, fencers, boxers, sumos and no end of belted gis were
seen.
     "... BOYS!" Akane finished, getting ready for her usual
morning battle.
     The yells of "Look out, Akane" and "They're going to beat you,
Akane!" slowly trailed off as the pack slid to a halt.
     Akane slowed and then stopped as well, shocked. What was going
on here? She stepped forward, intending to hurry things along. The
pack looked at her, then stepped back, dropping into a huddle
whispering to themselves. "Well? Come on! What are you waiting
for?"
     The pack edged slightly further away from Akane.
     Ranma and Ranko stepped up to the now even more shocked girl.
"What's up with th..." Ranko ducked with Ranma following as Akane
punched out at her head. "Hey! Wha'd I do this time, macho girl?"
Akane blushed, and muttered a hurried apology as she realised that
she'd struck out without knowing who was there.
     Before she could say any more on the subject, a boy stepped
out of the crowd. His support group all egged him on with their
glances. He was dressed in a gi and fiddling with the ends of a
black belt. "Uh excuse me?" He looked at the trio.
     "What?" Akane looked at him, doing her best to make sure he
realised that he was one step removed from a cockroach on her
version of the evolutionary scale - one step down.
     "No, not you Akane, her!" He raised his hand and pointed at
Ranko.
     Ranma and Ranko looked slightly taken back, someone wanted to
talk to Ranko? Who would know or have anything to do with her?
Ranma immediately started to feel nervous and began looking for a
purple haired figure. "Yeah what?"
     The boy looked taken aback as both of the newcomers replied to
him as one. He looked back briefly at the pack behind him, who all
nodded, then turned to the red head and managed to get out, "Uhhh,
are you..." His courage failed briefly, then re-established itself
as he heard the ominous sound of a few dozen guys take a step
forward. "... that is, are you, um, dating that guy?" His gaze
settled on Ranma for a second and if gazes could kill, this one
would have... or at the very least, maimed.
     Ranko and Ranma paused for a second, wondering exactly how to
answer that question, before Ranma closed his eyes. "Nah," Ranko
replied by herself, "he's my brother." She dropped his hand.
     "Oh. Right." he looked at the ground for a second, then after
hearing another set of footfalls, asked "Are you going out with
_any_ guy at the moment?"
     Ranko nearly threw up. Going out... with another _guy_? Urggh.
Her mind refused to process that image, segfaulted and coredumped
the entire thing to her mouth. "No! I'm definitely not going out
with any other guy either!" The small smile that plastered itself
on most of the boys within earshot should have cued Ranko in on
what was going through their minds, it didn't, but it should have.
     Akane stared at the mess in front of her. What the hell was
going on? What happened to the blow-off-steam before school thing
that she'd had going here? Why _weren't_ they attacking? "Hello?
Are we going to go at it or what?" It was a good thing she'd left
early today, or this sort of thing would have made her late.
     The pack refused to move towards her. She sighed. Well if they
weren't going to attack her... Akane tried to step around the mass
in the gates -- only to have the pack follow her from side to side,
blocking the gate completely.
     "Would you make up your minds?!" her hands came to rest on her
hips as her ire rose. What WAS happening here?
     The boy was still staring at the ground as he asked "So, are
you a good martial artist?"      The Saotome ego, which had up
until that question been mainly silent, chose to raise its head.
"Am I a good martial artist?" Ranko breathed out before nodding a
small nod, "Yeah," she blew on the backs of her fingers, decided
that laughing would spoil the mood and then settled on just rubbing
them against her chest, trying to act nonchalant, "I'm pretty good."
     The boy, who had been looking at the ground, found his eyes
almost magnetically drawn to the small amount of motion in the top
half of his vision. Looking at _them_ he nearly lost it. Those
perfect fingers, moving softly up and down those beautiful... those
perfect... those heavenly, yes, definitely heavenly, globes. The
shirt that she was wearing was so tight! She must be looking for
someone! Yes, women were always looking for someone if they didn't
have anyone! "Great!" He nodded, higher thought process effectively
destroyed for the time being. He stumbled back towards the crowd.
     Ranko noticed something as she stopped boosting her own ego.
"Hey, Akane?" She looked around, finding the dark haired girl
closer to the gates than where she had been last time. "Akane?"
     Akane turned and walked back toward Ranko, sighing slightly.
What did she want? These _BOYS_ weren't going to let her in any
more than normal. "What is it, Ranko?" She then watched in
mortified fascination as Ranko breathed deeply while stretching
backwards, pressing her already well defined chest even further
against the fabric of the shirt.
     "I think this shirt's a little small for this body, it's
pretty tight..." Ranko stated as she tried to stretch the shirt a
little more. Give a little more damn it!
     The boys watching from the gate all simultaneously decided
that God was male. To make art pieces like that, He _had_ to be
male.
     Akane silently cursed her luck. To be stuck with a BOY for a
fiance was one thing. To be stuck with a fiancee with a larger bust
size than her... She trailed off, there was no comparison "Ranko!
Stop that! You'll burst the seams..." That was one of her best
shirts! And laundered by Doctor Tofu as well!
     An almost wail of disappointment rose from the gates as Ranko
shrugged and stopped stretching. "Yeah, well I need a little more
room. Come on, maybe if someone pulls on the seams a little they'll
give."
     Akane held up her hand as a rush of 'helpful' boys began at
the gates. Switching her gaze between the boys to her left, most of
whom had stopped mid run, and the girl-boy to her right she said,
"The first person to touch that shirt has to answer to me!"
     "Hey! Did you hear that? Akane said to touch the shirt we have
to beat her!" One out of the mob spoke up, combining his two
current thoughts - 'must touch the shirt' and 'must beat Akane' -
into one for ease of passage through his hormone clogged neuron. As
a side note, thanks to his efforts, science has just discovered
that the saying "two thoughts are better than none" is not always
true.
     "So if we beat her we can touch the shirt?"
     Akane sweatdropped and then sighed. She could see where this
was going to come out.
     "Yeah! And if we can touch the shirt, we can touch..." The
speaker of this sentence promptly fainted.
     "Yeah! And if we beat Akane we get to date her as well!"
     Ranko tried to follow the conversation; they wanted to beat up
Akane to touch the shirt? Wow! She looked at herself, rubbing the
fabric encasing her top half again as she did so. Huh! I don't feel
anything so special about this shirt. Hang on a sec. If they beat
up Akane they get to date her? Geez, maybe they're into weird
masochistic things... Ranko suddenly decided to swap out of Akane's
shirt back into her own as soon as possible.
     "Hey! If we beat Akane..." An unnamed boy's face frowned in
thought. "...we can date..." sweat arose as he struggled to finish
the thought. "... both her and Ranko?" His face lit up in
comprehension.
     "YEAH!"
     Ranko turned green. They want to date me? Those... PERVERTS!
Ranma involuntarily opened his mouth and screamed with Ranko, "If
you try to date _me_ I'll beat the crap out of you" Both bodies
dropped into an attack stance as they saw red.
     A faint yellow aura encompassed both Ranma and Ranko. Joining
one twin to the other by a thin, see-through thread, it was briefly
visible for a second, then quickly faded away as Ranko realised
that her 'brother' was standing with her. Her face acquired a grim
look while she forced Ranma to sit down, taking once more a lotus
position.
     A few of the more intelligent (ie less hormone soaked) boys
crept quietly away. After all, that glow couldn't be good, could
it? The rest stared at Ranma for a second, wondering why he thought
they'd want to date _him_, then settled back in contemplation of
their new goddess.
     In hindsight, what Ranko had shouted was probably not the best
thing to say to a group of boys that received the same response
from Akane for trying exactly the same thing every morning. In fact
it probably only encouraged the response that it received. More
than half of the normal war cries of "Akane Tendou" were replaced
with "Ranko!" For the more poetically inclined "Pig-tailed girl"
seemed to be a favourite as each boy rushed forward to his doom
like a lemming to a cliff top.
     After five minutes there was silence.
     Picture a war zone, bodies lying haphazardly over one another,
groaning wounded clutching their injuries, that sort of thing. Now
remove from this picture nearly all of the blood as well as all of
the missing body parts. What you have in mind now fairly well sums
up the scene outside of Furinkan High at present.
     Ranko cracked her knuckles, smiling smugly at her 'suitors'.
That'll teach you, you stupid perverts! I don't go out with other
guys!
     The red head looked over at the taller girl, who was looking
around for something. "Hey Akane, that was great fun! Will we get
to do it again?"
     Akane grimaced as she spun around, wondering at Ranma and
Ranko's definition of fun.
     Ranko closed her eyes as Ranma stood up behind them and walked
across. "Is this why you hate boys? Seems like a good work out to
me."
     A shadowy figure moved up beside the smaller red headed girl.
     "Hey Akane, what're you looking for?" Ranma bounced up beside
her, obscuring her view of both the gateway and Ranko.
     His question answered itself when through Ranko's ears he
heard, "Surely the sun hath dawned twice this bless'd day!"
     Ranma spun, looking back towards his other self and at the
person standing next to her.
     "Of my other sunshine, I know." Began an older boy, dressed in
traditional samurai robes and carrying a bokken. "Akane Tendou, I
see that still none have mastered you in battle yet." Kunou glanced
down at the red headed girl beside him, "But of you... My new
sunlight! I know nothing. Please, o beauteous one, you who fill
that shirt to perfection! I must have your name!" He drew her hand
up to his lips, intending to kiss it as way of payment.
     "ACK! You pervert! Get your hands off me!" Ranma yelled,
before closing his eyes. What the hell was it about this shirt?
     Ranko's eyes flicked open and she quickly ripped her hand away
from the boy's lips. Not that it would have made a difference, as
the samurai had stopped moving as Ranma spoke. Bounding away from
him she decided to change shirts before coming back out into the
open again.
     "You there!" He glared across at the now stationary Saotome
boy, pointing at him with the bokken as he did so. "Who are you
that you speak for this vision of loveliness?" His finger tapped
his lips as the pigtailed boy did nothing. "I also saw you being
very forward with my other goddess as well. Who art thou that
speaks such to both the Pigtailed girl who is..." He trailed off as
he realised that Ranko was no longer in sight.
     "...was right here, and the lovely Akane Tendou as well!"
Kunou looked once more at the still completely unmoving boy in
front of him, there was no answer forth coming.
     Kunou's eyebrows slammed together as he realised that the
baseborn coward in front of him was not going to answer. "Ahhh! But
I forgot! It is customary to give one's own name first! Very well
baseborn, stand humbled, for you are in the presence of nobility.
My name is Tatewaki Kunou, aged 17 years. Tremble with fear..."

Ranko paused as she ran through the hallways. What was this moron
on about? If only she could find a rest room or something...
Anything to get out of this shirt. It seemed all sorts of loonies
came out after it. Grabbing the first student she saw she gasped
out "Where the hell is the nearest wash room?"
     The boy that she'd grabbed pointed at a door with a stylised
figure on it, just across the hallway from where they were now.
Ranko grimaced as she saw that while he tried to keep from staring
at the shirt (more accurately what was underneath that shirt) he
was failing miserably.
     Ranko dashed through the door. She was so determined to get
rid of the shirt that was causing all of this pervertism that she
failed to notice that the figure on the front of the door was that
of a girl.

"... for I am Captain of this school's Kendo club and the
undefeated rising star of the High school fencing world!" Kunou
swung his bokken in front of his body, posing with it raised before
him. "My peers call me the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High." He
paused dramatically as he stood there, backlit by the sunlight
glinting through the clouds. Surely this would have some effect on
this annoyance that had sprung up.
     Ranma giggled.
     To say that this was not the effect that Kunou was waiting for
would create another nominee for that understatement-of-the-year
award you're always hearing about.

Ranko giggled nervously as she stared around in the room that she'd
just entered. Damn, this was the female toilet. "Oh, uh, excuse
me..." As she hurriedly began to exit, she realised that there were
no screams, just somewhat puzzled exclamations. Glancing down at
herself she realised why.
     Well, no time to find the male toilets; judging from what
Ranma just heard that idiot had just finished his speech. Ranko
hurriedly ran into a free stall and started to take Akane's shirt
off.

Nabiki tsked to herself as she listened to Kunou's speach. Having
approached the gateway from the street she watched as he stood,
only to have Ranma laugh at him. Blue Thunder eh? Well, seems Kunou
has finally 'made' a name for himself. She smiled viciously, if
only she'd been a little earlier, she could have started a betting
pool on this fight.
     Suddenly remebering what her standing orders were for new
students and having horrific visions, she slid through the
gateway and into the school.

"Knave! Tatewaki Kunou shall NOT be mocked! Prepare yourself!" The
Kendo practitioner took up a ready stance and leapt forward,
screaming a battle cry as he swung his bokken at the now silent boy.

Ranko's eyes closed forcefully, nearly causing her to drop both of
the shirts she was holding, in the haste to get back to Ranma.

Ranma leapt up to the left in a massive jump as he avoided the
slashing bokken.
     "Ah! So you are not so frozen with fear that you cannot dodge.
Pity." Kunou glared at Ranma, daring him to say something.
     "Idiot." Ranma muttered to himself. "Oh yeah..." The pig
tailed martial artist flicked his pigtail to one side. "...
introductions, right?" Not waiting for Kunou's reply he continued.
"I'm Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Saotome style of Anything goes
Martial Arts. My sister and I are staying at the Tendou dojo..."
     "At the Tendou household? Under the same roof as Akane Tendou?
I forbid it!" The bokken once more slashed through empty air as
Ranma flipped over him, removing his book bag on the way over.
     Throwing it back to Akane at the arc of his jump, he said
"Here, hold this for a sec!" before landing and turning back to
Kunou.
     "I accept your challenge!" Ranma relaxed into an easy stance
as a small, and very well used, cocky smile settled onto his face.

Yuka stared, shocked and amazed at the scene in front of her.
     She'd been sitting in here, calmly doing her business, when a
bare chested, red headed girl (holding two shirts!) had leapt
_over_ the wall from the cubicle on the right hand side. The girl
had landed facing the door. Then she'd jumped again, flipping over
the stall door and throwing the shirts back at Yuka. The red head
had asked her to hold onto them for a second, all the while
mumbling something to herself about the Tendous.
     Yuka shrugged. Well, at the very least I have some interesting
things to ask Akane at lunch. She stood up, reached for some paper
and wondered what to do with the shirts that she now had.
     This was all before a foot crashed through the door, head
height and right in front of her face.

*************************************

[Authors Rant]

Well, well, well. Thats Chapter three is out on the FFML and
done...

First of all I'd like to explain something that somewhat confused a
couple of my prereaders... "Shirted" in the title is no mistake. I
don't know whether it's an Australian only thing or not, but to be
"shirted" means to be cheated or ripped off. If I had to guess I'd
probably say that it's origins were in the saying "to take the
shirt right off his back". I myself have never used this in conversation

"Oh, you know I was shirted last week by ..." But I have heard it
used as such... It also links to being "shirty" - annoyed...
suffice to say that the title is a play on words, in more ways than
one ;)

Secondly, just to remind everyone and tell anyone that doesn't
know, I use blank lines as "scene shifters". If there is a blank
line, the action is taking place in another scene. I tend to use
nothing special to signify thoughts, but they're easy to spot :)

Thirdly, yes, I know I miss commas and other things... :) It's
because my dog eats them... ;)

Finally, as always, comments and critique are very much welcome,
just hit reply and type what comes to mind...

Thanks to the prereaders who read this...

Cherry Tiger,
Chris Rowley,
H-Packrat,
Nathan Baxter,
Sigurd,
Siao Hua,
The Eternal Lost Lurker

Without them, you would have suffered through the prereader's
version ;)

Oh, and because _I'm_ suffering through all sorts of Assignments/
exams at present and will be for the next 3-4 weeks (It's end of
sem time *sigh*) Part 4 might be a little late in coming...

Later,
    Mike.

--

Visit my website : www.upnaway.com/~ricketts

I write, it's not a job, it's just something I enjoy.

.------------------------------------------------.
|  .-==-. <\-/> .-==-.  | In time even those who |
| /_.-=-.\|^ ^|/.-=-._\ | appeared to lead fell  |
|  /_.--.\(o_o)/.--._\  | to the side, corrupted |
|   /_.--\/   \/--._\   | by their own power.    |
|     (/ |/.-.\| \)     |                        |
|       /"(   )"\,--.   | You have risen in their|
|     __\ /'-'\ /__     | place, how long will   |
|   (((---'   '---)))   | you walk undefiled?    |
'------------------------------------------------'
If the above picture looks wrong, it's just you...