I must thank the mountain of people who responded to the
first posting of this fic. Most, if not all, of the
applicable corrections have been incorporated in this
revision. Many of your story ideas influenced chapter 2.
Again, I thank you.

*****************************

The Accidental Goddess

A Ranma 1/2 - Aa! Megami-sama FanFiction
By
D.F. Roeder

Based on the story idea, "New Life 1/2", by G. E. Jordan,
Jr., and used with his kind permission. Thanks for your
ongoing interest in this project.

Many thanks and deep bows to Vince Seifert for his expertise
in networking, manga, character knowledge, and writing in
general - this would be a much poorer work without him. [If
you haven't read his "The Taming of the Horse," you should
be drawn and quartered. :)]

Disclaimers: Ranma 1/2 and the characters therein are the
property of Takahashi Rumiko, Shogagukan, and Kitty (Japan),
and Viz Communications (USA). Aa! Megami-sama and the
characters therein are the property of Fujishima Kosuke
(Japan) and Darkhorse Comics (USA). No compensation has been
or will be received for the composition of this work - it is
for free entertainment purposes only.

C&C very welcome. Respond to FFML or privately to
dfroeder@gte.net.

<thoughts>

____________________

Chapter One - The Alias
____________________


A twittering in the bowels of the complex alerted the
huntress that she was closing in on her prey. She stealthily
moved down an aisle lined on both sides with innumerable
computer memory banks. At the end of the aisle a spiral
staircase led down to a powerline junction. As she reached
the bottom of the staircase she bumped her head on the thick
overhead conduit.

"ITEEEE... umph!" She slapped her hands over her mouth,
hoping against hope that she hadn't alerted the prey to her
presence. Another series of twitters, much closer now, told
her she'd been lucky. She silently thanked Kami-sama that
she'd done those personnel file changes as a favor to the
Goddess of Luck. She resumed her stalking, her face
illuminated by the pulsing conduits in a random sequence of
blue, green, and red.

She stopped after a moment and waited. A scuffling noise
brought her attention to a side room off the main walkway.
Written in the heavenly script, a sign affixed to the wall
next to the door proclaimed, "Asgard-Midgard Data Uplink
Relay Station - Section 43, Level 37, Compartment 23." She
paused as she noticed the trio of prime numbers comprising
the physical location of the relay room. Because of her
inherently mathematical mind, she took a moment to decide
whether or not to ignore this fact.

Her people had a healthy respect for portents and omens, a
respect learned through several lifetimes of experience...
mostly bad. A significant lack of such experience during her
12 years of existence told her that it couldn't possibly
mean anything, so she entered the room.

She shook her head as she realized that this was one of the
areas of the complex that was overdue for a millennial
upgrade. It was dark, but the red in-use lights on the relay
panels cast a hazy and indistinct illumination. The floor
was littered with old cables, making navigation somewhat
treacherous. The banks of data relays resembled nothing so
much as oversized old-style telephone switchboards;
double-ended patch cords connected the data lines from one
plane of existence to another. She shuddered to be in the
presence of such old technology.

Putting those concerns aside, she scanned the room. The
bright white coloration of her prey made it stand out like a
beacon. It had obviously gnawed through several patch cords
on the far wall and was chewing on another. The huntress set
herself, a manic grin on her face, and began to edge around
the room.

----------

"What did I say you had to do for me? I mean for this?" An
elegantly beautiful teenaged woman with warm dark brown
hair, cut to resemble a helmet, gestured smoothly at the
computer in front of her and gave a wry grin as she glanced
at her companion. Round black eyes twinkled in a face the
color of creamed coffee.

"Hey! This was your idea! 'Something to pass the time,' you
said, Nabiki." The companion, another teenaged woman, huffed
and puffed in reflexive outrage. She was also beautiful, but
where the first was elegant, the companion was exotic. Very
large almond-shaped blue eyes sat in a petite elfin face.
Alabaster skin was set off stunningly by hair so red it gave
new meaning to the description. Both women had figures to
die for.

"Sorry, Ranma... or should I say 'Ranko'? I have to keep the
money rolling in," Tendo Nabiki smirked.

Saotome Ranma gave Nabiki a baleful glare. "Let's just get
on with it. Okay?"

"Jeez, Ranma. You could take the fun out of a bowl of ice
cream."

Nabiki turned back to her computer and waited while the
Internet log-on finished. The assorted chirps, whistles, and
blats of interfacing modems could be heard emanating from
the machine. Her ISP main page came up, and Nabiki
highlighted the URL navigation bar and began typing in the
first of a series of numerical IP addresses.

"Okay. There's this person who's a friend of a friend of a
person who still owes me big yen. This person has certain
connections that allow for identities to be constructed. Of
course, this isn't the big time, so these ID's won't hold up
under a thorough check, but they will do in a pinch. Just
don't get caught. If someone starts to do a check, grab your
ID and hightail it out of there. Ne?"

Ranma began to feel a little nervous. "I thought this was
just for fun."

Nabiki answered with just a smile as she continued to
advance through deeper levels of the server she was
currently accessing.

A screen came up showing a number of empty database fields.
"Want a library card?"

"What for?"

"Good point." Nabiki squinted at the next address on her
handwritten list. "Does that first number look like a '1' or
a '2' to you?"

Ranma eyeballed the scribbles. "Beats me."

"Well... it looks more like a '2' to me." She typed
299.43.37.23 into the URL field. The status bar read,
*TCP/YP gateway active. Contacting uplink...*

----------

The huntress took her weapon out of its holder and hefted
it, testing the feel and weight. She was almost in range.
Steady... Steady...

She stepped on the plug-end of a cable, and the housing
broke with an audible snap. The prey whirled around, then
bounced off the panel and began to head for the entrance.
Unfortunately, the huntress was already too close. She
pressed a button, and the head of the weapon extended as she
brought it down in an arc precisely impacting the prey on
the cranium. Its eyes crossed, and the entire creature
vanished with a 'pop'.

"YES!! I am a GENIUS!" Skuld, Norn Goddess of the Future and
debugger extraordinaire, hopped around in glee. "That was
the last one. Yay! I can go home, now. No more bugs for me,
no more bugs for me, no more..." She wilted when she saw the
damage the bug had caused, but upon closer inspection she
decided that it wasn't so bad. All she needed to do was
replace some patch cords.

She gathered a few of the loose cables off the floor and
walked to the damaged panels. Skuld smiled when she saw that
although the chewed-through cable ends were hanging loosely,
the damaged connections were in close enough proximity that
she could easily tell which two data lines were supposed to
connect - the cables weren't long enough to accommodate any
other possibilities. She proceeded to repair the damage.

When she got to the last damaged connection, she had a
problem. The bug had managed to yank one of the cable ends
out of the board. She bent down, picked up an undamaged
cable, and stared at the board. There were several empty
jacks, but there was no clear indication of where the plug
had been. She peered closely at the numbers embossed in the
metal over the empty jack holes.

"198... 213... 220... 256... 277... 299... 313... GAH! I'm
not getting anywhere. TERMINAL!" A holographic computer
interface materialized in front of the diminutive goddess.
It looked similar to a laptop, but it was translucent and
appeared intangible as it hovered in midair. *Password*
blinked above an empty text field, and Skuld entered her
email address. Remembering passwords was not one of her many
talents, and she made life as simple as possible in that
respect. *Access Granted* flashed up, and she began typing
at an ungodly (or perhaps godly) speed. Soon, she had the
history in line graph form of the past use of all the open
lines on the panel she was repairing. None showed any use in
the last 200 years, but subnet line 299 had a red indicator
denoting a real-time current access attempt.

Skuld jumped for joy, "Luckeee!" and quickly stepped over to
put the new cable in place. She pulled the remaining damaged
line out and plugged one end of the new cable into the same
jack.

Unseen by Skuld, the indicator for subnet 299 disappeared
from the computer terminal, and the message bar next to it
now read, *Incoming Midgard access status: awaiting
authentication. Relay station supervisory mode in effect.
Press Cancel or say 'No' to terminate connection. Press
Enter or say 'Yes' to authenticate.*

With a big grin Skuld slammed the other end of the cable
into jack 299. "YES!" she exclaimed in joy.

*Access approval logged: Skuld, Goddess, Category 2, Class
2, Limited.*

"Terminal off!" Skuld left the newly repaired patch panel
and moved to pick up her debugging hammer. Pressing the
button on the handle again, she watched the weapon retract
into its normal size. She slipped the handle end into the
carrier on her back and shoved it home with satisfaction.
Images of 131 Flavors danced in her head as she left the
relay room.

The red in-use light for subnet data line 299 glowed.

----------

Ranma locked her hands behind her head and leaned back in
the chair. "What's takin' so long?"

"Patience. Sometimes these unnamed server addresses are
buried deep and you have to wait to get access."

"What's a server, anyway?" Ranma asked while staring at the
ceiling.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Saotome, do you know anything about
the modern world?"

Ranma scowled as she cracked her spine across the back of
the chair. "Excuse ME for bein' on a ten-year trainin'
trip."

Nabiki looked at the redhead as she continued to arch her
back and smirked. "By the way, Ranma. Nice tits."

"Thanks. I... WHAT?!" Ranma sat forward with a stunned look.
Nabiki was having a hearty laugh.

"You're too easy, WAY too easy," Nabiki chortled.

Ranma huffed, but then grinned evilly. "I seem to remember
you likin' 'em plenty."

Now Nabiki looked a little stunned. "Wha-WHAT?!" For once,
her ubiquitous cool slipped.

"HAHAHA! You seemed to enjoy grabbin' me when I first got
here. 'Does this look like a boy to you, Daddy?' Squeeze,
squeeze." Nabiki quickly found her center, but it took a
little longer for the blush to recede and Ranma noticed.
"Well, well. Are you embarrassed? Or did you really enjoy
it?"

"Keep it up, Saotome. I haven't even BEGUN to dig into my
hoard of goodies on you, yet."

Ranma fidgeted nervously, the humor of the situation rapidly
receding. "Yeah, well, I'll have you know I... Ara?"

The screen on Nabiki's computer blacked out, and a very well
done animated graphic began. What appeared to be a large
seed sprouted and grew into an immense tree. Words faded
into view below the tree, but it was written in a script
Nabiki had never seen before. Before she could comment on
the fact, the screen blacked out again and a message in
mixed hiragana and katakana appeared.

*This terminal is not Yggdrasil direct-link compliant. Do
you wish to use an interface in the native language of your
terminal?*

Nabiki clicked the 'Yes' button.

"What's a Ygg..., um, a Ygg-thingy?" Ranma stuttered.

"Not sure, but it seems familiar," Nabiki said.

Another screen came up.

*Yggdrasil Personnel Database*
*Please enter the name of the person for whom you are
requesting a file in the field below.*

Nabiki typed 'Saotome Ranko' in the blank text box and hit
ENTER.

*File not found. Please select one of the options below.*

Nabiki clicked on 'New File'.

A screen with database input fields appeared.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Nabiki exclaimed. Ranma's
alternate name was already in the name field. Nabiki
selected the button next to female, but stopped at the next
blank field.

"'Area of Influence'?" she said.

Ranma shrugged. "Martial Arts, I guess."

Nabiki grinned wickedly as she considered a way to pay Ranma
back somewhat for her embarrassment of a few minutes ago.
She typed 'Sex' in the blank field.

"HEY!"

"Relax, Saotome. This has to be some kind of gag site. I
mean, I've never seen an official site look this slick."

"Well..."

"Let's see... 'Category'. One, two, or three?"

"Uh... One!"

"'Class'?"

"One."

"'Limited' or 'Unlimited'?"

"'Unlimited', of course. Anything goes, you know."

Nabiki snorted. "First class all the way, ne?"

"Sure, and why not? With Pops around, things have always
been last class."

"Point. 'Transport Medium'?"

"Uhhh... huh?" Ranma peered at the screen.

Nabiki hit the arrow on a drop-down box. "Hmmm. Water,
sunlight, reflective surfaces, electrical wiring...
televisions? Blah, blah, blah.... Well, perhaps we should
stay with a common theme for you." Nabiki selected 'Water'.

Ranma squirmed, but let it pass.

"'Weapon'?"

"None."

"Not an option. See?" The drop-down box didn't have a
listing for 'None'. "There! 'Katana.' HAHAHA! Talk about a
theme!"

Ranma scowled. "Having fun, Nabiki?"

"Un! ...'Age'?"

"Seventeen."

"Duh!" Nabiki went on to fill in all the little personal
details of Ranma's identification. When those fields had
been completed only two remained. The first was a drop-down
box with the caption, 'Affiliated Deity or Deities'. Nabiki
hit the down arrow, and she and Ranma scanned the
selections.

"Who ARE these people?" Ranma asked.

"They're mythological gods and goddesses. Ah! I remember,
now. Yggdrasil was called the 'World Tree' or something. It
was part of Old Norse mythology."

"Old who?"

"You know, Vikings?"

"Oh... so which do I pick?"

"Errr... Let's look a bit." Nabiki continued to scroll down.
She eventually hit the Norse pantheon. One selection was
titled 'Norns', and it listed three names. Nabiki's
attention was drawn to a short line of blinking red text
next to the first name.

     *Also "Goddess" of Love. ~_^ -Urd.*

"Here we go." Nabiki selected the 'Norns', which appeared in
the field after the scroll list disappeared.

"Why them?"

"Well... I did list you as the Goddess of Sex, and Love is
close."

Ranma scratched her belly. "I don't know if we should do
this," she said worriedly.

"Relaaax. This HAS to be a gag site, especially with all
this mythology stuff. Ne?"

Ranma nodded. "One more blank."

The last field had the caption, 'Authorization'. Nabiki
humphed and studied the screen. On a hunch, she opened FILE:
PROPERTIES. An inset screen with mountains of alphanumerical
data came up. She slowly scrolled down, peering intently at
the lines. She stopped and considered one line. She copied
the line and canceled the screen. She pasted the information
into the last field and hit ENTER.

"Probably won't work, but who knows?"

----------

In another part of the Greater Tokyo metropolitan area,
three young women and one young man sat at a table in the
dining area of a Shinto temple grounds house. Two of the
women had strange markings on their foreheads and cheeks,
and both were incredibly beautiful. The third woman was cute
and exuded a boundless energy evident in the rapid-fire
conversation she was having with the young man, her brother.
The young man, small in build but reasonably handsome, waved
his hands in front of his sister's face.

"Megumi... Look, I... Really, they shouldn't have...
Megumi... Megumi... MORISATO MEGUMI!"

Megumi stopped chattering and looked at her brother. "Ne,
Kei-chan? What's wrong?"

Morisato Keiichi took a deep breath and puffed. "You won't
let me get a word in edgewise, that's what's wrong."

Megumi reached over and tweaked his cheek as the other women
laughed. "My, my! Aren't we a little temperamental today,
brother?"

"Sis, it's just that I have my hands full doing motorcycle
drag-racing for the club. I don't have the time to take on
funny cars. Do you understand?" Keiichi pleaded.

Megumi snickered. "Well... I told Tamiya-sempai I would try.
He seems to think you can do no wrong on the racetrack...
any racetrack!"

Keiichi puffed up a little at the praise.

"Yeah," Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past, chimed in, "unlucky
in the bedroom, lucky on the racetrack."

"Oneesama!" scolded the third woman, Belldandy, Norn Goddess
of the Present. Belldandy and Keiichi were beet red, while
Urd and Megumi giggled. The good-natured ribbing and
conversation continued, unaware of anything untoward.

----------

*Please indicate location of file subject.*

Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other and then back at the
computer. Hesitantly, Nabiki began typing, *Japan, Tokyo,
Nerima Ward, Furinkan-cho, Tendo Dojo*. The computer
digested this for a moment, and then an architectural
schematic of the Tendo compound came up. Several blinking
points were scattered throughout the diagram.

*Please indicate by clicking which of the detected
individuals is file subject.*

"Creepy," Ranma muttered.

"No shit," Nabiki said. She moved the cursor over to her
room, took her mental bearings, and placed the cursor over
the blinking point representing Ranma. She looked at the
redhead.

"Well?"

"Heh, heh. Are you sure this is a gag site?" Nabiki shook
her head. Ranma fidgeted. "Maybe we should forget this. This
is really freakin' me out."

"I am inclined to agree. Now, how do I... oops." Anyone
familiar with mouse operation can tell you that even the
sleight weight of a finger is often enough to press a
button. Ranma and Nabiki stared at the monitor in morbid
fascination.

*File creation complete. Stand by for reality update.*

"Uh... Nabiki? What does that mean?"

Nabiki opened her mouth to speak but abruptly closed it when
the room began to shake. She now found something different
to say. "Earthquake!"

Ranma and Nabiki stumbled over the unsteady floor and stood
underneath the doorframe to ride it out. The rumbling and
shaking increased until they had to clap their hands over
their ears. The activity abruptly ceased, however, and they
slowly pulled their hands down.

Ranma was the first to speak, "What...," but didn't have the
chance to finish as she was jerked off of her feet, flying
through the air to hang suspended over the chair she had
been sitting in earlier.

"Nabiki! Help... UNGH!!" Ranma arched her back as her body
suddenly strained and stretched and a brilliant column of
pure white light exploded into being around the floating
girl. Nabiki cried out and shielded her eyes with her arm.
The column crackled with energy for a moment and then dimmed
to a vibrant blue. Nabiki lowered her arm to see Ranma
slowly spinning within the column, arms out at an angle with
fingers splayed and legs parted to shoulder width with toes
pointing down. Her head was back as if being pulled, her
mouth was open, and her sightless eyes stared up. Nabiki
discovered that she was, for perhaps the first time in her
life, truly terrified.

A flash of white washed over the column and a distinct
'CRACK' echoed in the very fabric of the room. Ranma's
clothes disintegrated and swirls of misty white luminance
swirled around her body. They slowly coalesced, resolving
into an intricate robe, earrings, necklace, and fingerless
gloves and toeless foot coverings. The clothing floated
around Ranma as her red hair suddenly glowed and began to
grow. It reached almost to her feet before it stopped and
began to loosely braid itself into one long rope. A broad
and elaborately configured hair ribbon appeared and crowned
the back of her head.

When the last of the accoutrements were in place, another
wash of white light raced around the blue column, but
instead of disappearing, it entered the column, spinning
faster as it spiraled in to the center. The light swirled
and finally gathered into three distinct bands, the middle
one larger than the others, that gradually moved to encircle
Ranma's head. The top band abruptly rushed in and touched
just below Ranma's left eye, forming a glowing triangle. The
bottom band of light repeated the effect for the right eye.
The remaining band swirled for a few seconds more, and then
rushed in to touch the center of her forehead, forming an
upright infinity symbol. Ranma jerked and strained even
harder at the last contact.

After about fifteen seconds Ranma slumped forward and the
lights vanished, although she stayed suspended, spinning
slowly. Nabiki thought that perhaps the event was over, but
as she was about to move towards Ranma, a wind began to pick
up in the room. Objects began to rise off of surfaces and
collect in a rotating mass around the suspended girl, moving
counter to her spin. When everything loose had joined the
mass, Ranma moaned and straightened. Her head fell back once
again, and a single beam of intensely white light shot out
of the glowing symbol on her forehead, passing out of view
through the ceiling. Her clothes continued to float around
her as if she were under water. This display lasted only a
couple of seconds. The whirling objects crashed to the
ground, and Ranma slumped forward again. She slowly drifted
down until her toes were only a few inches from the floor.
One leg was slightly pulled up such that the hollow of one
foot rested on the instep of the other.

After several heartbeats of silence, Nabiki slowly rose and
peered around at the mess. Familiar paths were traveled in
her brain as she began to think about how Ranma was going to
pay for this. That stopped when she realized Ranma hadn't
actually made it to terra firma but was hovering over the
floor. Ranma's clothes still floated around her. The
material was of a shimmering green with
water-blue-within-beige trim.

Nabiki studied the floating woman carefully, noting and
storing details. She had always considered Ranma's girl form
to be cute, but something had changed. Ranma was now almost
supernaturally beautiful, like a haunting song or a dream
that one can't quite remember. Nabiki had to fight an urge
to kneel.

Some sixth sense kicked in and Nabiki realized she wasn't
alone. Turning around she saw the entire household peering
through the door at the levitating martial artist.

----------

The tableau in the old temple house was interrupted by a
call from the bathroom. "Tadaima! I'm finally back!" Skuld
strode into the room. "Did ya miss me?"

Belldandy rose to hug her younger sister, and Urd just
barely managed to suppress a grin. "Hey, squirt. What took
you so long? Just a few bugs, ne?" Urd smirked.

Skuld rounded on her oldest sister. "Just a FEW bugs?! I'll
have you know I debugged 3,495 bugs, spread all over the
system. That's what took so long. Think you could've done
better, Miss SysAdmin?"

Urd casually waved her hand in the air. "Feh! I could'a done
it in week instead of two, squirt."

"Don't call me SQUIRT, you old hag!"

Urd rose from her seat. "WHAT did you call me?!"

"Sisters!!" Urd and Skuld both quieted at Belldandy's word.
She wasn't the oldest, but an irritated Belldandy wasn't
worth experiencing. "We're all back together again, and I
don't... Oh... What...?" The three goddesses collapsed to
the floor unconscious.

Keiichi rushed to Belldandy while Megumi checked out Urd and
Skuld. Keiichi patted Belldandy's face and her eyes
fluttered open.

"What happened?!" Keiichi asked.

"I... I don't know," Belldandy answered. The goddesses were
all awake now and rising wearily to their feet. The phone
abruptly rang in the hall.

"Guess who," Urd muttered.

Keiichi helped Belldandy to the phone.

"Morisato residence. Hello, Kami-sama. What just happened?
Yes.... Yes.... I see."

Keiichi stood patiently and the rest of the household
wandered over.

"Yes.... Oh, my! How did that happen?... I see."

To the listeners, Belldandy's always-pleasant demeanor gave
nothing away and was beginning to irritate the oldest
goddess.

"Yes, Kami-sama. I'll tell them. Thank you for calling. I
love you, too. Bye." Belldandy hung up the phone and turned
to the rest. "Well, sisters, we have some work to do."

Urd's patience finally ran out. "Bell, what happened?!"

"It seems we just added a new goddess to the ranks."
Belldandy moved back to the living area and began to pick up
tea things. The rest followed her like puppies.

"Okaaay," Urd said, "that happens. But it usually doesn't
cause the family to go 'night-night'."

"Mmm. Yes, but the new addition went from mortal straight to
Class I, Category I, Unlimited."

The singing of crickets and a single bird call washed
through the room, and then two goddesses simultaneously
cried, "WHAT?!?!"

"Tha-tha-that's not possible!" Skuld exclaimed. "We have
safeguards built into the Wish System to prevent it! I know,
I put 'em there!" She wrung her hands.

"Super Genius strikes again," Urd monotoned.

"HEY! Not my fault, bag lady!" Skuld was turning purple as
Urd snickered.

"Now, now, sisters. This wasn't processed through the Wish
System. It came in from another direction," Belldandy said
as she took the tea things into the kitchen.

Urd and Skuld scratched their heads. "The only Operators
that have that have that kind of clearance are the three of
us and Kami-sama," Urd mused. She whirled on Skuld.
"RRRRRAH!"

Skuld backpedaled, waving her hands in front of her face. "I
was here when it happened, right? Right?! Besides, I didn't
do anything but debug and repair the damage they caused."

Urd appeared slightly mollified at that.

"I hope you haven't unpacked, yet, Skuld," Belldandy called
from the kitchen. "Kami-sama wants you back for the
investigation."

Skuld was crestfallen. "Awww, Oneesama! I just got home!"

"This is important, Skuld." Belldandy re-entered the living
room. "You don't want to disappoint Him, do you?"

"...nnnooooo..." Skuld pouted. She turned and slouched back
to the bathing room. "I guess I'll see ya when I see ya."

Belldandy turned to Urd. "Sister, we have a new goddess to
track down." Urd nodded. "Have you ever been to the Tendo
Dojo?"

----------

Nobody seemed willing to enter the room, so it was left to
Nabiki to approach the levitating Ranma. With no small
amount of trepidation she slowly moved to within a couple of
feet.

"Ranma?" No response. Nabiki tentatively reached out a hand.
There seemed to be a slight resistance in the air
immediately surrounding Ranma, but it was negligible. Just
before touching her, Nabiki pulled her hand back a little.
Firming her resolve, she finally took hold of Ranma's hand.
A slight tingle passed into Nabiki's fingers, and Ranma
jerked awake with a gasp. Nabiki tried to pull away, but
Ranma had her hand in a deathgrip.

Ranma blinked her eyes a few times and then focused on
Nabiki. Surges of desire washed through Ranma's body as she
gazed at the brown-haired girl. Some of that feeling passed
into Nabiki, and she could feel her body responding. Ranma
leaned over and cupped Nabiki's face with her free hand, and
Nabiki became even more aroused at the touch. Ranma gazed
into her eyes.

"Oh, Nabiki.... You are so beautiful." Ranma slowly leaned
forward, and Nabiki's legs began to tremble. Ranma gently
kissed her, and Nabiki's knees buckled, but before she could
hit the ground, Ranma gathered her up in her arms and
continued her attentions. The kiss became hungry and
desperate as mouths parted and tongues twined. Ranma
massaged Nabiki's body where she held her.

Ranma and Nabiki's tryst lasted for all of about five
seconds, the strident clarion call of an unamused fiancee
breaking the spell.

"RANMA! You PERVERT!! What the HELL do you think you're
doing with my sister!" Tendo Akane, betrothed of the new
goddess, suddenly found herself in the stratosphere of anger
and well on her way to escape velocity.

Ranma jerked her head back and blink-blinked. Nabiki lolled
in her arms, completely lost to the world. Ranma looked at
Akane. Akane glared at Ranma and began to stalk her way.
Ranma looked down at Nabiki. Her eyes snapped into focus as
she realized just what had occurred.

"WHAT am I DOING?!?! YAAAAAHHH!!!" Fortunately, Ranma had
drifted across the room to Nabiki's bed while she was
otherwise occupied, responding perhaps to new and unknown
instincts. Thus, when Ranma unceremoniously dumped the
middle Tendo daughter out of her arms and began to buzz
around the upper half of the room, Nabiki came to no harm.

"What's happening to me?! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

The Tendo household, non-Tendos included, just stared as
Ranma effortlessly defied the laws of gravity and wailed
about her current state of affairs. The only exception was
Akane. She brought out her No. 2 MacGregor mallet and
attempted to swat Ranma to the floor. Akane wasn't having an
easy time of it, however. Ranma seemed to instinctively zip
away just as the swing would have connected. Akane finally
lost control of the hammer on the downstroke, and in her
attempt to regain her grip, she unerringly guided the head
straight to her left kneecap. Akane howled, grabbing the
knee up and hopping around on her right foot. It created a
driving counter-rhythm to the lazy swish of Ranma's robe
rushing through the air.

Current events caught up to the remaining two women. The
shock of seeing Ranma flying through the air and dressed in
VERY feminine clothing was finally too much. The last
thought through Saotome Nodoka's mind before she fainted
was, <That's not very... man... ly...>, and Kasumi just
swooned (it seemed the proper thing to do at the moment).
The women fell against each other and slid to the floor in a
heap.

The fathers, not even bothering with the ladies, beat a
hasty path to the phone. Surprisingly, the Tendo patriarch,
Soun, reached the phone first. He dialed and waited calmly.

"Hello? Dr. Tofu? Yes, could you come over right away? There
seems to be a problem with Ranma. The nature of the problem?
......WAAAAAHHHHHHH! He's gonna fly away! The schools will
never be joined, now! WA-WA-WAHAHAHAAAAAH!"

The Saotome patriarch, Genma, grabbed the phone away and
began to speak. "Tofu-sensei? Listen, Ranma is... Growf,
growf, garooowww, growf!" Soun's gushing tears had triggered
Genma's curse, and Panda-chan began holding signs in front
of the mouthpiece, occasionally growfing for emphasis.

At the other end of the line, Tofu Ono rhythmically beat his
head against the top of his desk. <Two GROWN men. Oh,
brother...> He hung up, grabbed his black bag, and left for
the Tendos'.

____________________

END CHAPTER ONE

NEXT: Chapter Two: Tender Hugs and Kisses

Ja