- Ranma - Caught in a thread -
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^

A sweep,
A kick,
A dive so I can reach.
It's a story of a motion.

                      More detailed than speech.

^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^

Mousse headed downstairs. He had seen to it that Ranma was going to arrive.
Now Cologne and Shampoo needed to be informed. (I wonder why they want Ranma
here today, especially when it's time for the "Mens training"  week*. Now,
he should actually be left alone)

Suddenly the building shock violently and a loud *boom* could be heard.
Mousse tried to run down the stairs but misstook the placing of one of the
steps and so came tumbling down the rest of the way.

*Krash*

He untangled himself from his krash. Getting up proved to be no problem
despite the spear that threatend to impale him every time he tried to shake
away the dizzines that he suddenly felt. He held his hand over his nose as
soon as he was steady. (What is that awful smell?)

Mousse walked to the kitchen, or rather. Mousse walked into the doorframe in
the kitchen. His glasses were lying on the floor and he had forgotten to
pick them up.

-Ouch! He rubbed his head in an annoyed way and corrected his path to the
kitchen. (Where in blazes is Shampoo!)

Stepping into the kitchen. He realised that it was a mistake to leave his
glasses behind, all he could see was red. Everything, from the ceiling to
floorboards was covered in something red.

-There you are Mousse! Help clean this place up.

He got handed a broom and hink filled with warm water.

--
* Basically all the men are booted out of the village to do some training in
the chinese wildlands, presumably it's so that they won't loose their so
called "edge".
--

-Dad! What are you doing here?

Soun stopped clawing at the walls to look into Akanes eyes.

-MY BABY!

He glomped her and started to flood the empty lot with tears.

-DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!

Akane just stood there, confusion shining in her face. Sowly howewer, she
began to pry her father off of her.

-Shhh! Calm down. She petted him on his back soothingly. To her amazement it
actually worked.

-Thank you Akane. Now let's go find Ranma!

-But,but,but...

It was no use to resist, she concluded as she was dragged away from the lot.

--

(First I should grabb a bite at Uchans, I can always trust her to give me
some food. Maybe she can help me find mom and Uchan as well.) Ranma jumped
of the roof and landed, groundlevel, beside the door to Uchans. (Wait a
moment! I'm looking for Uchan and I'm going to ask her to help?) She opened
the door and looked inside.

-UCHAN? ARE YOU HERE?

(Nope apparently she's not. Maybe I'll check Nekohanten next)

*growl*

Ranma looked down at her stomach, (Maybe Shampoo will give me some food),
and she bounded away on the rooftops.

--

-Really mr Saotome, how do expect to show Ranma what a martial artist should
be like when you behave like this.

Kasumi glared at the older man, who looked like he saw Nodoka in front of
him with a katana in her hands, yelling "What have you done to Ranma!"

-Drinking! Of all things! She dragged him a bit further and then glared
at him again.
-If you think that Ranma will behave like a man of men when you can't set an
appropriate example then you are severely mistaken.

Genma nodded his head enthuciasticly. Kasumi continued to dragg him home.

--

*whamm*

Mousse looked up from his scrubbing and saw a white blurr walking in through
the doorway.

-I'm sorry, where closed.

He began scrubbing again, the red gook was very hard to get rid of and he
had a lot of area to cover. The white blurr moved closer to him.

-Where is Ukoyu? It asked.

-Saotome?

-Yes.

-Die!

He threw a chain at the blurr, intending to wrap "Ranma" in it. But he only
managed to snagg a chair that had been left standing after the "kitchen
accident". As he threw out a number of spoons at the blurr, he retracted the
chain and the chair. Someone knocked him on the head and he felt darkness
envelop him.

--

Gosunkugi flicked the lightswitch and closed his eyes.
(It's time he and I had a little talk)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
(   The brown owl drifted down easily on the hot wind. The sun
  ) was sinking below the mountains and the shadows drew
(   longer. The lake beside the tree the owl had intended as their
  ) meetingplace was sparkling a clear blue. It sighed. It's mind
(   was at peace.
  )
(   Far below it, a blue owl winked into exsistence. The brown
  ) owl snorted and dove down to catch up.
(   (He has no appreciation for thuroughly crafted scenery)
  )
(   He tooted a short welcoming note and seeted himself on a
  ) branch. The blue one did the same. When they were both
(   comfortable, he sighed heavily and started to speak.
  )
(   -You should know that Akane has a huge problem with her
  ) anger and she has a tendency to be very jealous. She can hit
(   a guy just because another girl is standing to close to him in
  ) the hallway. She also has a problem with her cooking and she
(   is very sensitive about it. Should you actually get close to
  ) her, never let her stirr your magical potions. You never know
(   what monster will pop up. The question isn't if you should
  ) stop using magic on her. It's about if you want her around
(   your experiments.
  )
(   He looked at the blue owl to see if anything had sunk in. It
  ) stared back defiantly.
(   
  ) -I see. He said. You are a lost cause.
(   
  ) He lifted his wings and spun around. A whirlwind formed and 
(   began to eat away at the landscape. First the lake 
  ) disappeared. It was erased, as if it never had been there. Then 
(   the blackness overtook the mountainrange, squirming and 
  ) wrenching it's way down to the tree. Suddenly the tree came 
(   on fire. The blue  glared at the changes as if it willed them not 
  ) to be. But they happened anyway. When the brown came to 
(   a halt he noticed that he was indeed we
aring the clothes he
  ) had selected earlier.
(   
  ) The sight that greeted the blue owl was this. A brown owl, 
(   dreesed in a tightfitting red devils suit complete with tiny 
  ) horns and a pitchfork held in it's right wing and behind him, 
(   EVERYTHING was on fire.
  ) 
(   -Be prepared for a loooong night Gosunkugi.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
--

(First things first. Look for humans and ask for directions) The wolf pushed the door open and whent inside. It shook itself fiercely, effectively soaking everything in the tamburine. It took a cursory glance around. (Let's see, there's two pairs of shoes, one jacket and no umbrellas. Nope, doesn't tell me anything. I hope that someone is in here though, it's been a long while since I got any real rest) 

*sniff*

(What's that? Food!) It followed the smell to the dining room and upto the table. (Mmmm, smells lovely)

-Hey fishbreath, where were you?

(Drat, he's here too. Oh well I guess I better live with it) The wolf sighed noisily and looked away from the food.

-I've been looking all over for you. They have a kettle on the stove if you're interested.

The wolf crossed it's eyes. (Kettle? There's a kettle?) It set a path straight for the kitchen, leaving before the sobbing sounds made by the magpie in the corner became to loud. 

--

There is a room somewhere in Nerima that warrants attention at the moment. Below it a furious battle is taking place but that's not important right now. What is important however is what you could see if you were standing in the room.
Let's take a look.

The room is very dark. In fact, to say that it is dark is an understatement, It is very dark indeed!

Okay, you see squat! 
No matter, the important thing is what the room contains. Standing in the middle of the room is a chair. The chair is occupied, though if the occupant is sitting in it by choice, she is a very nawty person. She is namely tied up. In a way that anyone would notice. (if they weren't blind) This female
 who, minutes before could by all rights have been called a bitch, is
currently unconsiouss.

Let's see what we can do to correct that, shall we. We'll let a breeze pass
by in the room, through whatever holes the walls have. The breeze should
travel along the floor, making small dustbunnies bounce around and hit each
other. It could fly up to her hair and sweep through it like a proper breeze
should. It could also gather scents and smells and bring them to her nose
like the messenger of dinnertime that it usually is. Sadly or perhaps
happily, this brezee is neither a proper breeze nor does it like to play the
role of a messenger. It is a brezee that would be proud to be a member of
the SHA* and as such, it is natural for it to float over to her feet and
start to crawl up her legs. Wich indeed it is doing.  It stops in its
progress after a very short while and decides that, yes, it would be a good
idea to ruffle her hair.

When this was being done she immediately tries to clamp her legs together,
an action made more by reflex than by anything else. Even so it didn't work.
Her legs were tied to the legs of the chair.

Delighted by the non-resistence, the wind got more adventureous and moved
upwards, swirling around her stomach. Irked by this development she tries to
move, to scratch the annoying itch that is roaming over her body but
whenever she kicks with a legs or stretches her arms, she finds that they
are tied too securely to be of any use.

The wind moves up and settles somewhere beneath her chin and above her
navel. (Actually the same place that Happosai is so fond of) Contrary to how
normal breezes behave, it decides to pinch her.

*pinch*

Ukyous eyes immediately snapped open.

--
*Secret Hentai Association. Meetings are held on Sundays and Saturdays in
the room beside the showers (You know, the one with the peephole). Strangely
enough Happosai is not a member.

--

Kodachi rolled out a pedestal and sat it upright in the middle of the
walkway. She gently lifted a flowerpot and put it on the pedestal. Then she
arranged five big cartons of dirt so that they stood in front of it.

-Is this the way you want it master? She said monotously.

- *!* The flower responded.

-Yes master.

She picked up the flower and put it down in the flowerpot.

- *!* It commanded.

-Yes master.

She set out flowers, identical to the first, in the dirt in front of the
pedestal. Then she sat down to listen

--

Ranma ran in through the open doorway of the Nekohanten.

-Shampoo! Ukyou's missing and I was wondering...

The walls were covered in red soup (or something similar). Mousse was on the
floor, badly beaten. The door was lying to the side of the doorway. Most of
the chairs and tables had been cleared out. It was in short, not the way the
Nekohanten usually looked.

Ranma walked over to Mousse and flipped over the chair that was ontop of
him. Then Ranma knocked on Mousses head.

-Anybody home? Guess not.

Ranma looked for Shampoo in the back of the restaurant.

--

-Do you have any idea where we are?
-Yeah, I checked that already. We're in the tendo dojo.
-And where is that?
-Seriously? I dont know.
-Aaargh!
The chair that had been used to sit on went flying out of the room.

*sigh*
-You know, you really should learn to control you'r emotions more, it isn't
like the whole world is actually against you.

The halfwolf human stared back at him angrily and growled.
-And what *snort* may you know about that!

He chukled and spread his wings.
-I suppose that if ALL the world was against you, you'd be staring into the
cannon of a tank by now.

*Thunk*
A barbell hit the wall behind where he had just been. Of course, he was not
there anymore. There had been a reason for him to spread his wings before
saying something potentially lethat to himself.

-Do you at all listen to what I am saying? You should learn to control that
temper.

-Aaaaargh.

--

-Give!
*Clang*

-Me!
*swosh*

-Back!
*Clang*

-Ukyou!
*Clong*

-...!
("*Clong*" It shouldn't ever sound "*clong*"?) Nodoka looked at the tip of
her katana and realised what was wrong. There was a hideous creature stuck
at the end of it.

-Let go!
She started to shake the katana franticaly, looking much like an indoor
whirlwind. Shampoo stretched against the wall as there wasn't much space in
the corridor they where in.

-Let go, you...
Shampoo jumped above a slash at her legs.
-Ugly...
She bended her upper body backwards as the blade tried for her head. (Thus
showing off quite well what would be right about choosing her above the
other fianc�es)
-Putrid...
She dove beneath a thrust that, if it had hit her, would have succesfully
removed her appendix. (Along with some other icky stuff)
-Hideous...
She rolled forward and again avoided the blade before it could remove her
legs from the rest of her body.
-Malformed...
She krashed into the wall and looked on in horror as the blade rushed in at
her.
-Prune!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

              ---
  Can you see the red thread,
  the yellow or the blue?

  Can you see the green one
  inbetween the two?

  Take a look at all of it.
  Can you see it too?

  It all forms a tapestry.
  A tapestry for you

              <Dewin Duvae>
              ---

Authors notes: (Question, does the nekohanten have floorboars or tiles?)
About the SHA. What can I say? My mind is tired. Besides of wich, can anyone
think of a better name?

Well I'm pooped, I started on the first parts of this particular one just
before christmas. (My story is mostly a mess before It's finally put
together in the right order) I sill can't decide if the red gook cures Ranma
of the nekoken, makes him fall in love with Shampoo, or something completely
different. (There are probably ten different versions buried somewhere
around here, most of them in my mind) I probaly won�t use either of the
first two though.

Anyone got any C&C on this?
Please?
Pretty, pretty please?
With sugar on top?
(On second thought hold the sugar, I probably can't afford it)

Todays guest is <Blank> and here he/she is!

Hi everybody!
I'm <Blank> and I'm going to say something very important to you all.

*flap*

This story is made in good faith that the author will not get sued.
It is populated with humans (and others) copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi and
Kitty. Therefore they are not really the authors to use.
He just likes working with them and he hopes it's mutual.

This guy sounds like a whacko, let's see.

*flap*

The author does this of his own free will and does not have someone
breathing down his neck everytime he slacks off. Also he doesn't want anyone
to make any money on this, including him.

Like I said, total whacko.

*flap*

What that's all? Lousy writer didn't give me much to go on. Goodbye then and
may you all feel humbled by the honour that you have recieved when I came to
visit.

Duvae@hotmail.com
(Obnoxious cretin that doesn't understand a creative word if it hit him
inbetween his eyes)