Ranma 1/2: Duck!
			
     A quiet day at the Tendo house, such a rarity these days.  Along
with fianc�es, rivals and curses, Ranma Saotome brought a good deal
of noise and confusion wherever he went.  For once though, Ranma and
Akane were able to enjoy the quiet.  Both their fathers were gone for
the weekend, out with 'the master'.  Nabiki was also out, enjoying
the Saturday with some friends.  That left only Kasumi, who was in 
her room reading a book, and Ranma and Akane, who were watching
television.
     A quiet day, until Akane heard Ranma say, "Akane, do you think
I look like a duck?"
     "What was that?" Akane asked in surprise.
     Ranma eloquently replied, "Huh?"
     "You asked about a duck."
     "What duck?" Ranma asked, perplexed.
     "I don't know what duck, you brought it up."
     "No I didn't."
     "Yes, you did."
     "Well I don't remember saying anything about a duck," he said
with a snort.
     "You did, I heard you," Akane yelled at him.
     "Yeah, sure, whatever," Ranma shook his head in dismissal.
They watched television in silence for a few more minuets.  Then 
Ranma said, "But why a duck?"
     "I didn't bring the duck up Ranma, you did!"
     "No I didn't."
     "I clearly heard you say, 'Akane, do you think I look like a 
duck?'"
     "That's stupid," Ranma said.
     "I agree."
     Ranma snorted, "I don't think I look a thing like a duck."
     "Then why did you ask me?"
     "I didn't, you're imagining things."     
     "You said it, I heard you," Akane was starting to visibly glow,
but Ranma didn't notice.
     "I didn't, you must have ducks on the brain."
     "You do," Ranma paused, "and on your door too."
     "But you brought it up!"
     "No, you did."
     "That's it Ranma," she yelled as she stood.  "Be an idiot, see
if I care."  Akane stalked out of the room.
     "Don't molest any ducks while you're out there," Ranma called
after her.  "That was," Ranma paused as one of the cement lawn 
ornaments crashed into him, "weird."  Ranma shook his head to clear
it and turned and stood as he heard Kasumi walk up behind him.
     "Was that Akane I heard yelling?" Kasumi asked, ignoring the 
cement chunks littering the floor.
     "Yeah, the stupid Akane has some crazy fixation with ducks and
took it out on me."
     "Oh my, isn't that Chinese boy, Mousse, a duck?"
     Ranma thought for a second, a not too familiar sight, "yeah 
you're right."  He stood and thought for a few more seconds, then 
shook his head in disbelief, "nah, there's no way that Akane could
have fallen for that blind idiot," Ranma looked up at Kasumi, "could
she?"
     "Now Ranma, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation
for this."
     "I don't know, this is weird, even for her."
     Kasumi looked up at the clock, "Oh, it's time for me to go 
shopping, could you come with me to help carry packages Ranma?"
     Unbeknownst to either Ranma or Kasumi a small black pig wandered
out from under the house, he glared at Ranma's retreating form then
set off in search of some hot water.

     Not too much later, at the Cat Caf�:
     The restaurant was not very crowded, just a couple of patrons
eating, Cologne was in the kitchen, Shampoo was out on errands and 
Mousse was wiping down some tables.  Rather fortunate, because at 
that moment Kuno burst through the front door and yelled, "You foul
sorcerer, you will never have the fair Akane Tendo."
     Mousse looked up in shock. "What?" was all he got out before
the wall next to him burst and Ryoga jumped in.
     "How dare you try and take Akane away from me," he said.
     Mousse looked back and forth between them in confusion,
"What are you talking..." he was cut off as Kuno and Ryoga both 
attacked.

     Within seconds, the Tendo house:
     "I think that's all the groceries Ranma," Kasumi said.  "Thank
you for your help."
     "Sure, no pro..." they both heard a loud crash from the yard.
"I wonder what that was."  Ranma walked out to the yard and found
a semi-conscious Mousse.
     Mousse looked up at Ranma and said, "I think I know how you 
sometimes feel Saotome."  Then he passed out.
     "Humph, I wonder what that was about," Ranma said to himself.
"Oh well, can't leave him out here," he said and dragged Mousse over
to the dojo.
     Just after Ranma dragged Mousse into the dojo, the door slammed
open and Akane stomped in.  She looked around and glared at Ranma
and Mousse.  "What is he doing here," she hissed.
     "What's wrong, Akane?"
     "I just had Shampoo spend half an hour telling me all of 
Mousse's good points and saying how good  a couple we'd make."
     "Shampoo talking about Mousse's good points?  Man this day's
getting weirder and weirder."
     "That's not what's important, she thinks that I'm in love with
Mousse."
     "You and Mousse?"
     "Yeah, and I've heard weird things about me and Mousse from a 
bunch of people today too."
     "You don't really like Mousse do you?"
     "No," she said angrily, "he thought I was a stuffed pig.  I 
don't know where everybody got that idea from."
     Ranma thought for a moment, "maybe it's cause you were so 
interested in ducks this morning."
     "I was not, you brought it up Ranma."
     "No, you did."
     "No you started it,"
     Ranma rubbed the back of his head and said, "I 'aint arguing
about this again."
     Just then, Mousse woke.  He sat up, blinked a couple of times
and looked around.  Realizing that it didn't do him any good, he 
pulled a spare pair of glasses out of his robe and looked around
the room again.  Within seconds his eyes came to rest on Akane.  
"Akane Tendo, I'm sorry but I could never love you, my heart only has
room for Shampoo."
     Ranma and Akane looked at Mousse.  Then looked at each other.
Then back at Mousse.  Finally, Akane said, "What are you talking
about?"
     "I've heard stories that you are secretly in love with me," 
Mousse said.
     "Cause he's a duck," Ranma added.
     Akane ignored Ranma, "No, I'm not."
     "I hope so, I could never bring my self to have any feelings
for you."
     Akane growled and punted him through the roof.  Then she sighed
and said, "This is weird."
     "I agree, this is weird."  Ranma paused, then said, "I do have
one question."
     Akane cocked her head to the side, "What's that?"
     Ranma opened his mouth and tried to say, "Akane, do you think
I look like a duck?" but no sound came out.  Ranma and Akane both 
looked at each other in confusion.

     Meanwhile, far away at the Masaki House:
     "Little Washu," Tenchi called as he entered the laboratory.
"Little Was...  Oh, there you are," He said as he spied her working
on her computer.
     Washu didn't look up from her computer, "Hi Tenchi."
     "We haven't seen you for he last two days, we were worried
that something might have happened to you."
     Washu didn't respond, then with another couple of clicks on her
computer she said, "No, I'm all right.  But now that I think about
it, did anything weird happen today?"
     Tenchi thought for a moment, "Let's see; Sasami cooked, Mihoshi
slept... Ah Ryoko and Ayeka only fought three times yesterday."
He paused.  "Oh wait they also..., and then they..., make that six 
times.  Nope everything was normal."
     "Great, an experiment of mine backfired yesterday and created
a time anomaly.  It wasn't very powerful; probably just a sound wave
was heard earlier than it was said.  No worries then."
     Tenchi sweated a little, then watched her computer over her 
shoulder.  After a few seconds he asked, "Little Washu, did your 
computer just say 'my wife for hire'?"
     "No it said 'my life for Aiur'."
     "Oh, ok."  He watched for a few seconds more, "Who's Aiur?"
     "Aiur's a planet about half again as far from Jurai as we are 
now.  Everyone avoids it though, it's full of a bunch of religious
fanatics."
     Tenchi opened his mouth as if to say something, closed it, 
opened it again and said, "What are you doing?"
     "Your father gave me some Earth software, I didn't think much
at first, but it's strangely addicting.  I'm gonna be here for a 
while."  Tenchi made no move to leave, instead he stood staring
at the screen.  Washu sighed and materialized another chair for him,
then went back to the game, pointing out objects on the screen as she
went.

				The End. 

Characters from Ranma 1/2 created and owned by Rumiko Takahashi; Tenchi
Muyo! characters owned by Pioneer.

Sorry, I forgot the subject the first time.


"Duct tape'll fix anything... 'cept my last relationship."
					-Me

AOL Instant Messanger: Garou628
ICQ Temporarily unavaliable.

Is it just me or do Genma Saotome and Homer Simpson have a lot in common?