The Death Dome Field (DDF for short) was a magnificent piece of work. So
long as the DDF was up, no one killed within the dome could die permanently.
However, as powerful as the field was, it require a massive generator that
was, ironically, powered by the battle auras of the combatants.
However, in recent days, dark forces had begun to move to destroy the
field. Could the efforts of those working to save the generator be in vain?
For the sakes of those fighting, let us hope not.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Step 1 to my domination of the universe...
mwehehehehehe-HEHE-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" came the evil laugh.
"Excuse me, but is this Room 206?" Ryoga Hibiki asked, pulling himself out
from underneath the sink. How he gotten down there was beyond even himself.
"No, this is Room 305. Down one floor and..." the evil person began.
"Right, down." Ryoga said, punching a hole in the floor and dropping
through. Unfortunately, the Lost Boy's inertia added with the weight of all
the crap he had in his backpack sent him through the next three levels into
the basement. From there, he went on a mini-rampage, crashing through walls
and such.
============================
Anime Death Tournament
Round 2 - The Battles Continue
Outcomes by ????? and C-chan
Typing by A-kun
Plot by..... um, say, who IS doing the plot? ........................
============================
"Welcome once again to the Anime Death Tournament. We're into Round 2 of
this massive tournament between Authors, Author Avatars, Author-sponsored
Champions and Animates. Who will win this? Only time and the luck of the
draw will decide." ????? said, vibrating from a caffeine-hype.
"Our next fight is Naga the White Serpent versus the great and powerful
Cap'n Bungie!" C-chan said, having finally slept off the Jolt Buzz.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
As the song "Walking On Broken Glass" by Annie Lenox begins playing, Naga
the White Serpent began walking down the blue aisle with Prince Philonel
following close behind. They're both wearing their standard outfits (i.e.
the first ones you ever saw them in). Naga leapt into the ring and landed
elegantly. She's strangely quiet.
Once the song ends, loud fireworks go off and the band Puking Piggies
begins playing "Puking Piggies Go To Market". Strippers dance on stage next
to the band members, distracting them somewhat, but the Puking Piggies prove
that they are mildly more professional than pig. Cap'n Bungie entered
through the red doors and walked down to the ring with Leona Ozaki in her
Bonaparte following close behind.
As Cap'n Bungie leaps into the ring, accidentally landing wrong and
resulting in a sharp stabbing pain which he merely grins through, he begins
waving his arms, building cheers from the hentais for hiring strippers,
cheers from the fans of the Puking Piggies and boos from anyone who thought
that his entrance was in poor taste. The band finished it's song and
vanished, as did the stage and strippers. This illicted some more boos, but
Cap'n Bungie ignored them as they were from the perverts who liked the
strippers.
"Hey, aren't you that laughing girl? Why aren't you laughing?" Cap'n
Bungie inquired.
She held up a sign that read, "I have laryngitis."
"Ah." Cap'n Bungie answered, grinning at the tactical advantage of Naga's
inability to cast spells.
She turned the sign over and it read, "But I can still cast spells."
"Damn." Cap'n Bungie answered.
"FIGHT FOR @#%!#@$%^ SAKE!" Cid Highwind cursed at them.
Shao Khan growled and lunged at the mechanic/pilot who had once again
stolen his microphone. Robo, yet again, ignored all of this.
Cap'n Bungie lunged at Naga, but the sorceress wasn't about to let Cap'n
Bungie touch her. She cast a Freeze Arrow at him, but he leapt over it with
a stupidly, yet dramatically, high jump. Unfortunately, he severely
overestimated the distance between the ring and the light-rigging. The
entire rigging came down with him and slammed down against the ring, pinning
Naga on her back, breaking a majority of her ribs and temporarily knocking
the wind out of her, but not killing her. Cap'n Bungie was laying on the
rigging, his eyes in anime swirls.
Everyone's jaws dropped. Robo counted to three as Naga hoarsely cursed
Cap'n Bungie for humiliating her like that. Teams of workers began removing
the Animate and SI character while getting the ruined rigging back into
place.
As Cap'n Bungie regained his wits, he realized he had won, then proceeded
to moon the crowd as was his signature.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
C-chan and ?????'s jaws were against the table as they looked at Naga
pinned underneath the light-rigging.
"Uh, couldn't she just blast her way free?" C-chan asked.
"Not with any spell that I know of, unless it's the AD&D telekinesis spell.
Besides, maybe it hurts too much for her to cast any spell that might
help. The rigging DID fall rather fast." ????? commented.
"Well, it'll be a while, so we'll run Sebastion's interview." C-chan said.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
The Essential Anime Death Tournament Interviews....
With correspondent, Bastion Fitsroy
Interview #1
-----------------------------------------------------
[Scene: Outside competitor entrance of the arena. Bastion is in formal
summer attire, (his best pair of jean-shorts and Hawaiian shirt), and while
waiting anxiously, he makes idle chit-chat with the camera man.]
Bastion: Man, I hate doing these "Previously Recorded" stuff because I can't
make any witty reply to whatever A-Kun says. And you know he can't resist
the oppr-
Camera Man: It's recording...
Bastion: <raises eyebrows> Ah, thank you A-Kun. This is special
correspondent, Bastion, here outside waiting for some of the combatants in
the Death Match Tournament to enter. Well, <looks at watch> it's been a few
hours and no one has shown up <mumbling> Those no good son of-
[An unusually skinny man with neat short brown hair and large baby blue eyes
emerges on the scene accompanied by a seemingly bored orange-haired female
companion.]
Bastion: Offfaaaaa-hello there. <smiles facetiously> Would you be so kind as
to introduce yourself to the audiences at home watching this on DVB view.
Skyler: <adjusts his glasses> Nice to meet you kind sir, and yes it would be
my pleasure. My name is Skyler Sands. I am 16, and I attend Ohtori Academy.
I also happen to be an otaku trapped in the world of Utena under mysterious
circumstances.
Bastion: Sooooo, you're an SI?
Skyler: <face sours> Of sorts, yes.
Bastion: <scratches head> Alright, now for what the audience really wants,
some T&A-
Skyler: You mean Q&A?
Bastion: <pause> Yeeeah. <shifts eyes back and forth> So, how does a 'self
insert' as yourself prepare for battle?
Skyler: Practice, prayer and making sure my health insurance is paid up.
Bastion: You'll find their table next to the priest saying last rites, just
right of the sign up booth.
Skyler: Ah, thank you.
Bastion: Next question, being an SI, what super-duper powers do you have?
<excited> Fire breath? Magical staffs? Ungodly amounts of Chi, Ki, Cha, Cho,
or whatever it is to call upon?
Skyler: Uh, <pulls a crossbow from the holster on his back> Just this
crossbow.
Bastion: Uh-huh. Next question! If you were a fruit what would you be?
Skyler: <noticeably angry> I am not a--er, oh `if I were?' Red apple.
Juri: <muttering> Fruitcake, more like.
Bastion: <notices Skyler's companion> Ello, ello, ello, would you mind
introducing your escort to me ... and, ah, the audience? Is she available?
Skyler: This is Arisugawa Juuri, Captain of Ohtori Academy's Fencing Club.
As for the latter <sweatdrops>; perhaps you should ask her yourself.
Juri: <fixes Bastion with her steely gaze as she would a butterfly to a
board> ....
[Bastion and Skyler exchange glances as Juri continues her gaze.]
Bastion: <winking at Skyler and whispering between his teeth> She wants
me...
Skyler: Ah, I see, Ah...
Bastion: <regaining 'professional' composure> Being you're an SI in Utena,
is it true, ya know, that Utena is. . . . . a true pink-head?
Skyler: <blushing violently> A gentleman doesn't answer that sort of
question.
Bastion: <winks> Ah, I see. Don't kiss and tell eh? <nudge,nudge>.
Juri: *Ahem* May we continue with this farce you call an interview?
Bastion: <smiles stupidly> Why of course <bows courteously, Juri rolls her
eyes>. Anyone on the line up you have your eye on?
Skyler: I'm really pumped about meeting the anime characters. This is the
sort of thing I wanted when I wished for an anime life! Well, except for the
being beaten to a pulp part.
Bastion: <shrugs> It's a small price to pay for meeting the people you
adore. I heard a rumor you and Skuld are an item, is there any truth to that
myth?
Skyler: I haven't even been lucky enough to meet her yet. And I think Thor
would get upset if I claimed an untrue relationship with the young lady. I
don't want Thor mad at me.
Juri: <muttering> There are no such things as thunder gods. I will find a
rational explanation.
Bastion: <humming the theme to 1776, before realizing he's being stared at>
Oh, sorry, um, who's your pick to win the tourney, besides yourself? My
money's on Duke, baby!
Skyler: I kind of like Ryouga, if he can find the ring.
Bastion: Ya know, half the proceeds from the Tourney are funding the many
satellites tracking system looking for him. <taps chin> Hmmmm, seeing that
your fight record is, <looks downcast at crossbow>, well, less impressive
than many of the other contenders. Why, might I ask, are you participating
in this Tourney?
Skyler: <sighs> The Student Council had an Old Maid game. I lost. Juri came
in just above me.
Juri: I'd have done better if Saionji would show up to the meetings.
Bastion: <off in his own world> I won't mind Juri coming above me...<drool>
[An anonymous hand flies across Bastion's face]
Whack!
Bastion: <pause> Oooowwwww......
[The camera turns to Juri, who has a demure smile on her face.]
Juri: Okay, you stay here. I'll go up to the next floor with Utena, and
we'll see about that.
[Bastion stops rubbing his sore face and looks up, his face frozen with
utter shock. Juri struts pass him with an air of victory, quickly followed
by Skyler who apologetically shrugs and enters the arena.]
Bastion: <dazed> Man................ that was harsh.............. really
harsh. <looks toward camera> Um, this is Bastion reporting, back to you,
A-kun. <mumbling> Geez, just how many of these anime girls are lesbians?
[Cut to A-kun and ?????]
-----------------------------------------------------
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Hey, A-kun's a contestant, not an announcer in this, Sebastion." C-chan
snapped.
"Whoa, calm down. It was an honest mistake on his part. Besides, he sent
it to A-kun, who gave it to our techs without watching it." ????? replied.
C-chan grumbled at Sebastion's mistake, but ????? managed to get her to
promise that she wouldn't hunt Sebastion down. At least not until the
tournament was over.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Sheragaran Delmi walked into the arena as Magus's theme from Crono Trigger
began playing. His head was down as he walked slowly to the ring. He leapt
into the ring and began awaiting his opponent's arrival.
The opening theme to Dirty Pair Flash (Mission 1) began playing as
Kei-Flash, already in her 3WA uniform began walking down to the ring.
Yuri-Flash and the original Dirty Pa...er, Lovely Angels followed closely
behind.
(News Flash: For those who don't know, Kei-Flash won a grudge match against
the original Lovely Angels and now owns them. Frightening Side Note:
Kei-Flash also beat Shasti when the psycho-killer tried to win the original
Lovely Angels in a Death Match)
Sheragaran gritted his teeth, exposing his fangs, as he drew his sword.
Kei drew her gun as she stepped into the ring. The tension was high
already, but the fact that both Kei and Sheragaran were staring at each
other (and Kei not yelling obsenities) increased the tension.
"FIGHT!" yelled M. Bison as Shao Khan was busy teaching Cid Highwind not to
play with his microphone.
A rolling explosion of flame flowed towards Kei, who vanished. Sheragaran
spun to get a kick to the face. He growled and released a dark mist,
covering the ring. Explosions were heard, the sound of metal against metal,
beams of energy exited the mist, striking the barrier that protected the
crowd. Various curses were also heard. Then, finally, the mist cleared to
show Sheragaran Delmi standing, hoarsely panting while leaning heavily
against a pole. Three logs with copies of Kei's clothes lay with burn and
cut marks. Kei lay sleeping on the mat, a needle that had a 3WA icon on it
lay next to her arm. The crowd realized that Sheragaran must've
accidentally bumped Kei, who was on her way to inject a knock-out drug in
Sheragaran's arm, and somehow hit it so that it was injected into her arm
instead..
Sheragaran looked at Kei, the first person in over a hundred and fifty
years to give him such a fight. He almost felt like leaving, but he knew
that would be betraying himself. He walked over to her and, with a slice of
his sword, beheaded her. He walked out to the gasps, boos or cheers of
crowd members. Yuri and the original Lovely Angels acted quickly, getting
Kei's body to the emergency ward as quickly as possible.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"A strange fight with a gruesome ending. At least we don't have to worry
about Kei." ????? commented.
"Yeah, our healers'll have her back in top form in no time." C-chan
replied.
"In the meantime, it's inter... what?" ????? asked.
Motions of someone off-screen related something to ?????.
"Belldandy and Skuld are in the restrooms?" ????? inquired.
More motions.
"And Urd left? Why?" ????? asked.
Even more motions.
"What do you mean you don't know?" C-chan demanded, standing up.
Yet more motions.
"So what the hell do we have between matches?" ????? asked, glaring at the
person off-screen.
The person apparently shrugged.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, courtesy of Cap'n Bungie, as our interview team is
currently indisposed, we give you, Puking Piggies and the Puking Piggies
Strip-er, Exotic Dancers!" ????? said, waving a hand.
The band reappears where it had been and begins playing. The strippers
reappear as well and begin synchronized dancing as clean-up crews sneak into
the ring and clean up the mess. They leave before the act is done. By
then, a majority of the dancers are in g-strings and floss underwear.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"And now, Atsuko 'Nuku Nuku' Natsume vs. Bombadil 'El Baddie Baddie' Goh."
????? announced, before grabbing the nameless nobody off-screen and shaking
him/her until they began crying.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
As the opening to the All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku began
playing, Atsuko "Nuku Nuku" Natsume, Ryuunosuke Natsume, Kyusaku Natsume and
Eimi began walking down to the ring. Nuku Nuku hopped around, waving to as
many fans as she can. However, there were more people in the Arena than
even Nuku Nuku can wave at. She leapt into the ring and smiled, causing
fans to roar and cheer and spit and howl and froth at the mouth and puke and
smile in appreciation.
The ring darkened as searchlights swept around the audiences and all the
entrances, in search of Bombadil. Could it be that he had chosen to
forfeit? His escorts were nowhere to be seen, perhaps he had decided to
forgo this round.
Nuku Nuku breathed a sigh of relief as she did not have to face the man
who, according to M.H.I. best sources of information, was rumored to be the
master of cheap shots and outright-cheating, when Bombadil's theme music 'A
Different Kind of Magic' by Queen started up and the searchlights swept
up... up to the celling, where Bombadil could be seen on one of the supports
waving to the spectators gazing up, before he stepped off the support and
started plunging down at breakneck speed... just before he could hit the
surface of the arena and creating a mess that would require a lot of work
for the janitors, Bombadil engaged a magic spell that enabled him to lightly
touch down like a butterfly on a petal. His escorts, who had snuck in while
everyone were looking up, started cheering him on as Bombadil approached the
center of the ring.
Nuku Nuku approached the center of the ring as well. She began sweating as
she recalled all of the data that had been gathered about him. He had
trained with three people who knew a lot of cheap tricks and dirty moves.
She glanced over at the grinning trio he had trained under. A blue haired
boy and a red haired girl, both wearing t-shirt that had "R"s on the chests.
The girl was wearing a skirt and the boy long pants. Between them was a
strange-looking cat that had a gold coin on it's forehead.
Nuku Nuku wasn't sure she even wanted to be near him in case he tried to
get ecchi with her. After all, the blue-haired boy looked a bit
questionable. Bombadil smiled and extended his hand. Nuku Nuku, uncertain,
extended her hand as well. They shook hands for a bit, then at the yell of
"FIGHT!" by M. Bison, Bombadil backed off abruptly and launched several
fireballs.
Nuku Nuku yelped and leapt out of the way. Bombadil dropped on her like a
hawk, but her new combat reflexes, courtesy of M.H.I.'s super-advanced
fighting training disks for combat androids, kicked in and she struck
Bombadil nine times before sending him across the ring.
Suddenly, a gigantic cobra wrapped around Nuku Nuku, restraining the
android from moving much. Nuku Nuku struggled against the snake when it
suddenly released her. She saw a ball with eyes roll over to her. It
glowed white and exploded, knocking Nuku Nuku against the ropes just as
Bombadil lunged at her, grabbing her by the leg and dragging her to the
middle of the ring. As Nuku Nuku got up, Bombadil ran and rebounded off the
ropes. Nuku Nuku looked up in time to catch a solid jump-kick to the chest.
She staggered a bit as Bombadil clutched his foot and cursed himself for
forgetting that she was four hundred lbs. (or more) android.
Then, Bombadil remembered that she was an android. He drew a hand back,
gathering lighting in his hand. He punched forward, sending high-voltage
electricity coursing through Nuku Nuku's body. She jerked and spasmed
before collapsing. He grinned, then suddenly, his feet were kicked out from
underneath him.
"Papa-san isn't stupid! He knew someone would try to fry Nuku Nuku's
circuits!" Nuku Nuku said, getting back up.
Nuku Nuku grabbed Bombadil, who let out an "eep". She turned and slammed
him into the mat. She lifted him and slammed him back into the mat. After
about seven similiar slams, an idea shook itself loose in Bombadil's brain.
He pulled out a card and threw it to the red-haired girl, who grinned,
nodded and threw something to him. He caught it without alerting Nuku Nuku
that anything had happened.
"Want some bass?" Bombadil offered, holding out what the red-haired girl
had tossed him.
"WAI!" Nuku Nuku said, letting Bombadil go as she reached for the fish.
*WHAM*
Nuku Nuku found herself under a mallet. She growled and stood up right as
Bombadil received another fish.
"I'm sorry. Want some sardines?" Bombadil asked.
"WAI!" Nuku Nuku said, reaching for the fish.
*WHAM*
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just like in Dragon Half." Bombadil
laughed.
Nuku Nuku found herself under a mallet again. She growled and stood up
right as Bombadil received another fish.
"I'm sorry. Want some tuna?" Bombadil asked.
"WAI!" Nuku Nuku said, reaching for the fish.
*WHAM*
Nuku Nuku found herself under a mallet once again. She growled and stood
up right as Bombadil received another fish.
"I'm sorry. Want some tuna?" Bombadil asked.
"WAI!" Nuku Nuku said, reaching for the fish.
*WHAM*
Nuku Nuku had swirlies in her eyes, thus proving that she was unconscious.
Bombadil whapped her over the head once with the sixteen lbs. halibut the
red-haired girl had just tossed him, justy for good measure. He leapt up
and landed on his ring support post.
"MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Bombadil
and his escorts laughed in unison.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
C-chan and ????? exchanged glances.
"This is one of A-kun's online friends?" C-chan asked, seriously doubting
A-kun's choice.
"Well, they've talked via e-mail..." ????? answered.
"......." The two girls said in unison.
"And isn't that stealing?" C-chan answered, referring to Bombadil's method
of defeating Nuku Nuku.
"Just like Gagne said. 'It's an homage.'" ????? replied.
"Anyway," C-chan said, rolling her eyes, "Our next fight is Ryouga Hibiki
vs. Daniel House."
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Rob Zombie's "Super Beast" began playing as Daniel House stepped out of the
red doors. He looked at the crowd with a confident smirk on his face. The
look turned grim and he walked down the aisle and front flipped into the
ring. He stood facing the blue doors, awaiting his opponent. After about
ten minutes and no sign of Ryouga, Daniel leans back against his corner
post, ready to take a nap.
Then, the song "Wherever I may roam" by Metallica began playing as Ryouga
Hibiki, Akane Tendo and Shinnosuke walk through the same red doors Daniel
had walked through minutes before. Daniel glared back at the three
embarrassed teens as they walk down to the ring and circle around so they're
on their own side.
"Sorry, we took a wrong turn at the snack bar." Ryouga apologized as he got
into the ring.
[Quick cut to the snack bar]
"GAWD DAMMIT! WHO THE HELL WALKED THROUGH MY FISH-STICK BAR AND LET ALL
THESE CATS IN HERE?! NO! BAD KITTY!! BAD KITTY!!! RESPECT MY
AUTHORITAHY!" John Cartman yelled.
(Author's note: Authority is misspelled on purpose.)
[Back to the ring]
"Whatever. Let's just get on with this fight." Daniel replied.
Daniel took up a fighting stance as did Ryouga.
"FIGHT!" Ryu belched into the microphone before joining Ken, Cammy, Sagat
and Guile in a good old fashion beat down on M. Bison.
Daniel began attacking with some basic Hap Ki Do techniques, when suddenly,
someone leapt into the ring. Both Ryouga and Daniel turned to see who it
was.
"DAN DAN KIIIIICK!" Dan Hibiki yelled, leaping at Ryouga.
"WHO IN THE HECK ARE YOU?!" Ryouga demanded, blocking the attack and
countering with a solid uppercut.
Dan was sent across the ring and collapsed. Daniel and Ryouga launched
into a rapid exchange of fists, kicks and such. Daniel found that Ryouga's
defense was impressive, but his speed wasn't even close to Daniel's. Not to
mention that Ryouga was getting the sort of hits that Ranma would feel.
However, Daniel didn't account for the fact that he was making Ryouga
angrier and angrier.
"SHISHI HOUKODAN!" Ryouga yelled, managing to catch Daniel at point-blank
range.
Daniel went flying back against the ropes. Suddenly, Dan Hibiki recovered
from Ryouga's earlier punch and launched into his Certain Victory Relying On
Nobody But Myself Fist, leaving Ryouga on the ground, wondering when the
pink-gi'ed fop had learned such a powerful attack. Daniel punted Dan Hibiki
out of the ring. He began walking back to his corner when he stepped on
Ryouga's prone form. By the time he looked down and realized it was Ryouga
he was standing on and not a sack of potatoes that someone had thrown in the
ring, Referee Robo had already counted to three.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Somehow, I don't think Daniel was expecting to win like that." C-chan
commented.
"You're right." ????? replied.
"Who let Dan Hibiki into this tournament anyway? And why was he attacking
Daniel and Ryouga?" C-chan inquired.
"Maybe he felt that since there was a Dan and a Hibiki in the ring, he
should be in there. Hey, cool. I just made up an excuse like A-kun." ?????
said, astounded at the fact that she, like A-kun, had just made up a load of
bunk.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Belldandy looked around. Keiichi and Megumi were fixing their tripod,
saying something about a flying Hibiki or something like that hitting it.
Bastion was still doing his interviews. But, Skuld and Urd were missing.
She looked over to see Washu kicking a vending machine.
"AAAAAH! I can't believe that the #1 genius scientist in the universe
would have to put up with a stupid vending machine eating her quarters!"
Washu yelled, kicking the machine more before grabbing it and shaking it.
Finally, her anger ebbing away a bit, she took out a notepad and wrote down
the name of the vending machine's company.
"TharzZzCo. Inc., eh? Well, I'll give THEM something to read." Washu said,
looking at the item she needed, desired and drooled over trapped in the
vending machine. It was one of the eight things even SHE couldn't create.
"Washu-chan..." came the concerned voice of Belldandy.
"Heeeey! How's my favorite niece?" Washu asked.
"I'm fine. Um, Washu-chan, I was wondering if you'd seen Urd or Skuld."
Belldandy said.
"No, I haven't. And Urd wanted me to get her some kind of karoake machine.
Said something about getting rid of an annoying demoness or something like
that. I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye twice today,
but when I looked up, there was nothing there, so they might be playing Hide
and Go Seek. Tenchi LOVES to play that game with me. He'll hide and I'll
have to try and find him to perform experiments." Washu said, reminiscing.
"That's.... great. But can you find them for me? I'm getting awfully
worried." Belldandy answered.
"Sure, I'll get to it once I get back to my lab." Washu replied
confidently.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"And now, since we're done with half the fights, the interlude for today!"
C-chan announced.
"Today's movie is: Ranma 1/2: The Movie 2!" ????? said.
C-chan and ????? raced out of the tower as the giant four-way TV lowered
from the ceiling.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Interlude - Rent, buy or just play Ranma 1/2: The Movie 2 if you want to
see it.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
????? and C-chan dashed back into the tower.
"We're back. And now on to the fight between Kasuga no Kage and Ukyou
Kuonji!" ????? said before sitting down.
"I hope we see some kick-ass fighting out of them." C-chan commented.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
As "Hurricane" by Priss and The Replicants begins playing, Ukyou opened the
red doors and walked to the ring with Ranma and Ukyou's father following
close behind. Ukyou climbed into the ring and waved to her fans and members
of her church, smiling brightly.
As the Phantom of the Opera's "Music of the Night" began playing, Kasuga no
Kage appeared in the middle of the ring, startling Ukyou. He drew his bo
and bowed to Ukyou before twirling the bo in an intricate pattern while
staring balefully at her. Ukyou drew her megaspatula and closed her eyes.
Kasuga summed her up. She looked like the woman he had loved so dearly.
Before she was taken from him. He swore to himself that he wouldn't use his
most devastating techniques on this woman who resembled his love.
Over the speakers, somebody inhaled a deep breath and yelled out, "FIGHT!"
Somebody vanished as Anybody, Nobody and Everybody came looking for him.
Ukyou began glowing with a deep red aura and her face twitched. Kasuga's
eyes narrowed as he took in the possible outcomes from such a battle aura.
Ukyou's head lowered and the aura began flaring brightly. She began
muttering something while moving her spatula in erratic motions. Her eyes
snapped open as she raised her head again. Ukyou raced forward with
startling speed. Kasuga snapped into a defensive posture as all he could
see were after-images of Ukyou. He focused on finding the real Ukyou.
"ATOMIC WEDGIE!" Ukyou yelled.
Kasuga stumbled and tried to get his underwear unhooked from his chin.
Just as he managed to get his underwear out of his face and back in his
pants, Ukyou filled his vision. Within seconds, the ninja was kissing mat.
Before he could recover his wits, Ukyou began pounding on him, muttering
something about "beating" and "batter". Soon, he was as flat as an
okonomiyaki.
However, he was not yet beaten. Using his TK power, he snapped himself
back into his rightful shape and growled as Ukyou backed off. He lunged,
striking at Ukyou with his staff, which she agilely blocked with her
spatula. He teleported behind her and unleashed a psychokinetic blast,
sending her flying forward.
Using his TK, he pulled shuriken from their hiding places on his body and
propelled them at Ukyou, who threw her own mini-spatula and knocked every
single shuriken down. Kasuga's eyes narrowed as he began powering up for a
powerful attack. Ukyou braced herself for impact as Kasuga's hair turned
blond and stood on end. Kasuga's aura began flaring extremely bright.
Kasuga launched himself at Ukyou, who flared with her bright aura and leapt
at him.
What followed was an intense exchange of devastatingly powerful punches,
kicks, jabs, slashes, counters and counter-counters. Ukyou was sent flying
back against the ropes, but rebounded to smash Kasuga in the head with her
megaspatula, sending the man crashing to the mat.
"Behold the power of Okonomiyaki." Ukyou told him before putting a foot on
his chest.
At the count of three, Kasuga was beaten. Ukyou cheered and leapt over to
Ranma, hugging him lightly. He winced, but returned the hug. Ukyou, her
father and Ranma all left the arena as Med-Techs hurried Kasuga to the
medical ward.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Wow! And to think that Kasuga lost." C-chan said, whistling at the
impressive battle.
"I wanna know how Ukyou got that tough. Kasuga's power level was on par
with Saiyan at Kaioh-Ken level 4." ????? said, looking at an energy
read-out.
"Easy, her power level read that she was the equivalent of Kaioh-Ken level
6." C-chan replied.
"That would mean she had the same power she would have had if she trained
on a planet that had six times Earth gravity." ????? said, arching an
eyebrow.
"Well, maybe this Ukyou did." C-chan answered.
"Damn. That means she's got a bag of tricks no one knows anything about."
????? replied.
"It looks like the next combatants are getting impatient, so on to the next
match. Rhialto the Marvellous vs. Sailor Mercury!" C-chan announced.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
The theme from Enya's "Lonely Planet" (from the Sacred Spirit amerindian
CD) began playing as Rhialto, carrying a wizardly staff, entered the arena
through the red doors before floating six feet off the ground. He flew over
to the ring and "sat" down on the air, awaiting his opponent.
"Ice" by Sarah McLachlan began playing as Ami Mizuno, aka. Sailor Mercury,
entered the arena via the blue doors. Hotaru Tomoe, aka. Sailor Saturn, and
Minako Aino, aka. Sailor Venus, followed her closely. The three girls spent
the next ten minutes signing autographs as they slowly walked to the ring.
Ami Mizuno stepped into the ring and with a flash of blue light,
transformed into Sailor Mercury without any fancy effects or anything like
that. Ami folded her arms and glared at Rhialto contemptously.
"Gooood. Good. Keep it up, Ami, and you'll win Toughest and Coolest
Senshi of the year for SURE." Minako whispered.
"I'm not sure about this." Ami said, sweatdropping.
"Come ON, Ami. We've all gotten that award save for you. It's time you
got it." Minako whispered.
"I'm afraid, missy, that you're in for a world of hurt." Rhialto said,
lowering so that he was close to the ground.
"FIGHT!" Shao Khan roared before getting ambushed by Cid, Barrett and
Vincent. Again, Robo didn't care.
"Rhialto's aerial thunderstrike!" Rhialto called out.
A gun shot was heard, lightning crashed, Ami screamed as she barely leapt
out of the way, and Rhialto blinked as a pirate ship appeared on the horizon
for the second time of the tournament.
"Hey, wasn't that joke already used?" C-chan inquired.
"Eh." ????? replied.
Rhialto began unleashing spells that were flashier than they were
effective. Ami frantically dodged before she released her Mercury bubbles
to fog the entire arena, blocking out even the lights.
"Rhialto's shot in the dark!" Rhialto cried.
"OW!! All right, who pinched my butt?!" Ami demanded.
Rhialto blushed and began to creep away before he felt Ami's iron grip on
his shoulder. As the fog vanished, leaving everyone damp and mumbling
curses, they saw Ami trying to kick and punch an intangible Rhialto.
Rhialto, however, was looking as though Ami had gotten a good amount of
butt-stomping in before he managed to get the spell up. Rhialto backed off
as much as he could be releasing the intangibility spell.
"Rhialto's marvellous transport!" Rhialto said, hastily casting another
spell.
Ami vanished. Rhialto sighed in relief. Then Ami slammed into his head
with a descending double kick. Rhialto staggered forward and spun around.
"Rhialto's marvellous transport!" Rhialto repeated, hastily casting the
spell a second time.
"Think someone should tell him about the precautions?" C-chan asked.
"Nah. He's a bright boy. He'll figure it out sooner or later." ?????
answered.
Ami teleported to a corner post in front of Rhialto, who was wishing the
spell would do something effective.
"Rhialto's aerial thunderstrike!" Rhialto chanted.
Lightning struck Ami and the corner post. Ami flopped backwards into
Hotaru's arms, her eyes swirling. Rhialto sighed in relief that he finally
won. He blew on his fingers and left.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Almost pure luck on Rhialto's part." C-chan commented.
"Almost." ????? replied.
"We'll be back after this interview. Stay tuned!" C-chan told the camera.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
The Essential Anime Death Tournament Interviews....
With correspondent, Bastion Fitsroy
Interview #2
-----------------------------------------------------
Interview #2: Hello-Kitty
[Scene: A studio stage setting that has a black backdrop with
red gaudy neon lights reading "Celebrity Date Match Tournament"
running in front of it. On the stage itself is Bastion dressed
in his best wrinkled slacks and nicest looking Planet Anime
T-shirt. Across from him is the ever so cute Hello-Kitty,
dressed in her favorite red dress and smiling the most adorable
smile, ahhhhhh. Ahem, Bastion addresses his audience.]
Bastion: Thank you C-chan and ?????. You're both very fine
ladies, <wink>. Anyway, I'm here with the ever k-hawaii,
Hello-Kitty.
Kitty: <cute smile and waves her paw in the most adoring
fashion> Hello everyone.
Bastion: Ahhh, ahem, <reads blue card> It says here that you
like skating, collecting Sailor Moon paraphernalia, and love
anything pink.
Kitty: <licks lips> Especially flesh.
Bastion: What was that?
Kitty: <covers her mouth> I sneezed, he, he.
Bastion: Ahhhh, ahem, I mean, gokutite. So, I hear that you
were featured on a TV program recently, may I humbly ask for what?
Kitty: Oh, yeah. I was featured on Phox's "When Animates
Attack 7." I had a lot of fun.
Bastion: Well, it must be fun to do the narration for that,
trying to sound concerned and all.
Kitty: Narration? <looks back and forth> Oh, well, yeah, he, he.
Bastion: So, let's get down to what I like to call <puts up fingers>
"The nitty gritty" questions. Out of the list of combatants in
the Tourney, who's your pick to go all the way,
besides yourself?
Kitty: Ahhh, why do they all have to fight? Isn't violence bad?
Why don't they all give each other hugs and love life?
Bastion: <narrows brow> Well, they would love to do that Ms.
Kitty, but then everyone would stab each other in the back and
no one would win.
Kitty: <mumbles sinisterly> Exactly.
Bastion: I'm sorry, what was that?
Kitty: Oh, <cute eyes>, I belched, he, he.
Bastion: Ahhhh, ahem, do you have any special techniques you
will use on your opponents in the Tourney?
Kitty: Ah, no! <pouts lips> That would mean hurting people and
hurting people is bad <murmuring> for them.
Bastion: Oh, well, so, uh, <leans in close and winks> Is there
a prospective Mr. Kitty in your future? The audience is dying
to know.
Kitty: <dark expression> I bet. <face brightens> Oh sorry, but
I'm afraid there's no Mr. Kitty. Because desiring boys is bad
<voice takes on a more demonic tone> Because that leads to baby
making <eyes begin to glow an unholy red illumination> And then
that leads to overpopulation <jumps up in chair as her body
increases in size> Then I will have to dash their brains out!!!
[Kitty's legs shot out from her once white stumpy paws and
large, sharp claws tear into place as her paws become lanky
fingers and hands. Kitty's body now has a metallic quality and
it's glossy black armor and crimson veins matches Kitty's versatile
red dress that expands to fit her 10 foot frame. Kitty now has
transformed into the HK-666666 Satan Kitty and tramples around
the studio wrecking anything in sight.]
Bastion: <cowering in his chair> Uh, are you okay Ms. Kitty?
Satan Kitty: <snaps head in Bastion's direction> MUST DASH
BRAINS!!!! DASHING BRAINS IS GOOD!!! <licks lips> I WANT A
GLASS OF MILK!!! NO, I DEMAND A GLASS OF MILK!!!!! <barring
fangs> ARE YOU DARING TO DEFY SATAN KITTY!!!!
Bastion: <hiding behind chair and trembling> no.
Satan Kitty: I WANT MY GLASS OF MILK!!!! ARGH!!! I'M
DYING OF THIRST!!!
[HK-666666 Satan Kitty thrashes around the studio, knocking down
the neon sign. Guards surround Satan Kitty, trying without any
luck to subdue her. Bastion bravely backs away to the safety of a
corner far, far away from the excitement.]
Bastion: For the love of God, get this pussy kat a glass of milk!
[A stage hand cautiously approaches HK-666666 Satan Kitty with a
glass filled with a white substance. The red machine snatches the
glass from the stage hand and greedily slurps down the glass.]
Satan Kitty: MMM, MMM, GOOD!!
[Slowly, the red monstrosity shrinks back to her normal, small,
cute self and nonchalantly jumps back into her chair. The guards
exchange a look and then stare at Bastion, who shrugs innocently.]
Bastion: What did I do?
[Kitty wipes her mouth with her stumpy paw and smiles sweetly.]
Kitty: Mmmmm. That was good. Do you have another?
[Bastion franticly motions off camera for a glass of milk that
immediately materializes in his hand. With a trembling hand,
Bastion hands Kitty her milk.]
Bastion: Here you go, Ms. Kitty. In fact, have all the milk you want,
whenever you want it. And any of these guys don't get it for
you, kill em'. We were meaning to cut back on personnel
anyway.
Kitty: Thanks, Mr. Bastion. I wike yoo. <eyes flutter and throws
open her arms for an embrace>.
Bastion: <backs away, frightful> Umm, we're outta time! I'd like to
thank the ever wonderful and benevolent Hello Kitty for this interview.
Kitty: *Bbbbbbbbuuuuurrrrpppppp!* <covers mouth> He, he.
Excuse me.
Bastion: Uhhh, <forced smile> this Bastion reporting, back to
you C-chan and ?????! <muttering> Whom I'm hoping aren't
lesbians too....
[Cut to C-chan and ?????.]
-----------------------------------------------------
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
?????'s right eye began twitching.
"I... am... going... to..." ????? began.
"He got you this phone number from Juri." C-chan said, covering up for the
idiotic interviewer.
"WHOO-HOO! Thanks, Bastion! And now, Skyler Sands versus Gourry Gabriev!
The swordsmen duel!" ????? said.
The camera stayed focused on ????? and C-chan.
"Cut to the ring, darn it!" C-chan told the camera-person.
????? pulled out a phone and began dialing...
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
One might've expected Skyler Sands to have an impressive entrance. Then
again, his fans knew better. As Eriko Tamura's "Please Smile for Me" song
played on the speakers, Skyler Sands entered via the blue doors and walked
casually down the ring with Juri Arisugawa following closely behind. Juri
looked rather bored. Skyler entered the ring and adjusted his crossbow. He
drew his fencing sword and got ready for the duel.
"Karma Chameleon" by the Culture Club began playing as Gourry Gabriev,
Sylphiel and Lina Inverse walked down to the ring. Gourry leapt into the
ring and Skyler began sweating at the sheer size of Gourry.
Skyler put his sword away and drew his crossbow. It was his only chance at
victory. He prayed he could win. Meanwhile, behind him, Juri was reading a
rather large philosophy tome.
"FIGHT!" Vincent yelled before helping Cid and Barrett teach Shao Khan a
lesson or tweleve. Robo had actually made a sign proclaiming rather
prominently, "I don't care what happens to Shao Khan or anyone else. I
don't get paid enough to do that!"
Skyler lifted his crossbow and fired. Gourry dodged the crossbow shot and
charged. However, the quarrel wasn't going to be stopped by merely missing.
It bounced off of the barriers that protected the crowd. It bounced
around the arena fifteen times before heading back to the ring to seemingly
kill Skyler who was about to become two Skylers as Gourry was about to chop
him in half. Then, Juri said something that would change everything,
"Duck."
Skyler heard Juri and ducked down just in time to feel the quarrel russle
his hair and hit Gourry in the stomach. Gourry dropped his sword and he
stumbled backwards. Skyler, seeing his chance grabbed his foil and stabbed
Gourry through the chest. Gourry collapsed backwards, stunned that someone
like Skyler had beaten him.
[Then again,] Gourry thought, [that old green monkey who lived in that
swamp told me that size doesn't matter.]
Skyler knelt down and thanked the gods that be that he had won.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
Up in the tower, C-chan and ????? were staring wide-eyed at the scene.
Gourry Gabriev, swordsman extraordinaire, had been beaten by Skyler Sands.
"Was it his shoes? His escort? His luck?!" C-chan.
"It's GOTTA be the crossbow." ????? said.
"Heeeey! On the butt of the crossbow, the words 'Nike' are written in
German!" C-chan said, looking through a pair of binoculars.
????? rolled her eyes.
"Sure, whatever. Let's see another interview." ????? said.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Um, hi. I'm Keichii Morisato, here today with another fighter. Miss
Aensland..." Keichii began.
Morrigan smiled at him.
"Morrigan, please. Aensland is a little too formal." Morrigan answered.
"Um, Morrigan, how do you feel about your fight?" Keichii inquired.
Morrigan's face darkened.
"Silphion will pay dearly for humiliating me." Morrigan sneered, before
returning to her normal, perky self.
"Um, are you planning to try and re-enter the tournament in the special
Round 5?" Keichii inquired.
"Definitely. I'm not just going to slink away, not when I have the chance
to get back at Silphion." Morrigan replied.
"Any picks for fighters besides yourself to win the tournament?" Keichii
inquired.
"Hmmm, maybe that Gara fellow or perhaps that Bombadil. There are so MANY
delectable fool-, er, fighters to be had, er, to cheer for." Morrigan
replied.
Keichii and Megumi exchanged glances.
"Um, well, thanks for your time. Um, SEE YA!" Keichii yelled, running off
with Megumi.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"I'm gonna go get a pizza." ????? said, standing abruptly and leaving.
C-chan stared after her, then at the monitor. She shook her head.
"And now, the final fight of tonight. Richard 'TimeMaster' Burnam vs.
Ghost Rider!" C-chan said.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Ghost Rider" by Rollins Band began playing over the speaker as Ghost Rider
rode up to the ring on his favorite motorcycle, revving the engine. He
stopped and dimounted. Behind him, four guys with fire extinguishers put
out the fires started by his flaming tires. A timid Jed Bidwell rode up to
the ring on a similiar bike, only his isn't on fire, nor does it start
fires. Jed barely manages to stop in front of the ring as Ghost Rider
hopped in the ring.
Spectre General's "Nothin's gonna stand in our way" begins playing as the
arena goes dark except for Ghost Rider's head and a greyish streak of light
that travels around the room at incredible speeds, only slowing down long
enough to catch the audience's attention now and then. Near the end of the
first verse of the song, the streak of light resolves itself into one big
blast in the middle of the ring revealing the TimeMaster ready for battle.
"FIGHT!" Barrett yelled before running off after Cid and Vincent. Shao
Khan pursued the trio.
Robo sighed and returned to reading a lay-out for a sub-routine.
"Oooooh, you're a naughty little sub-routine, aren't you?" Robo asked.
It should be noted that sub-routines are the equivalent of Robot
Pornography.
The Ghost Rider removed his mystic chain from his chest and threw it at
Richard, who was expecting the attack and zipped behind the Ghost Rider.
Ghost Rider spun and dodged a rapid barrage of ki bolts that Richard
launched. Richard dodged the Ghost Rider's lunge punch and blasted the
Avenging Flaming Skeleton to the side.
Richard got caught by the Ghost Rider's chain as it wrapped around him and
set his clothes on fire. Using his super-speed, Richard broke the chain and
leapt away. However, each link of the chain began attacking Richard, who
was caught by surprise as he hadn't expected that maneuver. He had been
expecting the chain to reform.
The Ghost Rider lunged at Richard, who dodged the Rider's punches, but got
hit by the flying killer chain links. Finally, the Ghost Rider had the
chain reform and attacked the TimeMaster again.
The Ghost Rider punched Richard in the stomach, then kneed Richard in the
face before knocking Richard's feet out from underneath him. Richard
growled and shot a few ki bolts into the Ghost Rider at point blank range.
The Ghost Rider staggered back as Richard performed the infamous Tae Kwan
Leep atack, Boot to the Head. The Ghost Rider staggered under the vicious
attack and was prepared to counter attack when something began shaking the
Arena, much like an earthquake would, except for the fact that no natural
disaster would affect the Death Dome. The Ghost Rider and Richard collapsed
to the ground and an i-beam shook free of it's supports and swung down,
striking Ghost Rider and knocking him out cold.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"What in the world?!" ????? demanded.
"Cambot! Give me Security Tower 9!" C-chan ordered.
Around the Dome's DDF, a giant grey shield had formed.
****** ****** ****** ****** ******
"Well, we'll be back again in the future for Round 3, but again, don't hold
your breath." ????? said.
"Yeah, these things are hard to write, no da." C-chan commented.
TO BE CONTINUED IN ROUND 3
===============================================================================================
Apologies to those who did NOT get to do their finishing moves or their
victory signs due to physical or mental inabilities.
Anyone who is confused as to how someone can appear on someone's team, then
someone else's should remember that there are a lot of elseworlds out there.
Signed, ????? and C-chan
And part-time writer, A-kun
To contact any of the three people above, contact A-kun at
akun15@hotmail.com
_______________________________________________________________
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