Before anybody says anything, I acknowledge that 
it is, indeed, a family altar, and not a clock, that hangs on the dojo
wall.  For some inane reason I was sure that in one episode or another,
it served the purpose of a clock (don't ask).  I later tried to change
it, but it didn't work out very well, so I 
just gave up.

   Well, without anu further adieu...


              Retrospection
                  by Anna Lvovsky

Note: The characters and backstory are the property of Rumiko Takahashi
and Viz Videos, and are used without permission.

-----------------------

   Nabiki slouched at the low table in the Tendo dining room, idly
flipping through the pages of a magazine.  Suddenly she sat up. 
Something was happening in the dojo.  She knew, not from any noise that
might have reached her ears, but because she had seen both Ranma and
Akane go in there, and now it was unusually quiet.  She set down the
magazine and rose.  Reaching for the camera which, unseen and
unnoticed, was always carried on her person, she stealthily made her
way down the corridor and to the bamboo doors that she rarely visited. 


   Ranma and Akane were sitting by each other�s side, facing the clock
that hung on the dojo wall.  Nabiki lifted the camera to her eye and
focused in on them.  Akane�s head was tilted, and from a certain angle
it almost looked as if she was leaning on Ranma�s shoulder.  Nabiki
smiled.  This was a picture she was sure to be able to make use of in
the future.  She listened intently to the ticking of the clock until
she had the beat resounding in her head.   Then, precisely as second
hand moved, she clicked her camera.  She watched her two subjects to
make sure they hadn�t heard her, and beamed proudly.  It took special
skill to be able to time everything so carefully that your actions went
by unobserved, even by people with senses as good as the martial
artists she lived around.

   Satisfied with her work for the day, she quietly backed away from
the dojo, and had returned to her magazine in a matter of seconds.

                          *          *          *

   Nabiki was stretched out on her bed, slowly flexing her knees as she
examined the pictures on her pillow.  They were a series of photos,
mostly of Ranma-chan and Akane, that she had just had developed.  Her
face was impassive as she divided them into different piles.  Kuno
would pay her a fortune for these.  She smirked admiringly.  Maybe
she�d even charge him extra; to get some of these shots she had had to
install secret holes through which she could take pictures in each room
of the house.  She just hoped Happosai wouldn�t find out.

   Suddenly Nabiki�s hands came upon the shot that she had snapped in
the dojo a few days ago.  She stared at it for a moment, then reached
down to open a drawer of her nightstand.  She took out a wooden box and
unlocked it with the small key that hung around her neck by a thin
chain.  She lifted the lid and took out the stack of photographs that
was lying amidst the considerable sum of money stored in the box.  She
was about to merely slip her new photo into the rubber band that held
the stack together and put it away, but she paused, and started looking
through the pictures in her hand. 
   The top picture in it was of Akane kissing Ranma during their
performance of "Romeo and Juliet." Nabiki stifled a laugh as the saw
the next: Ranma-chan kissing Kuno during that same performance.  Both
had been through tape, of course, she had seen that, but it was
impossible to tell on the photo.  She flipped through the rest.  Akane
in Ranma�s arms during the beginning of the Kirin Crisis, Akane and
Ranma fighting off the Dojo Destroyer together, Akane cramming
something that vaguely resembled an omelett down Ranma�s throat on
Toma�s island, Akane and Ranma exchanging gifts during Christmas... 
The list went on and on.

   Nabiki put the photos back into the box and shut the lid with a
rueful smile.  Poor idiots.  Always on gaurd, cautious for anyone that
might overhear their words, acting so incredibly indifferent to each
other, when in reality it was only themselves that they were fooling. 
They were so obviously in love; so amazingly, hopelessly in love.

   There never is hope for anyone who falls in love, she added
bitterly.  To devote some part of themselves utterly to another person,
to care about them beyond practical reason... Idiots.  *Morons.*

   Nabiki suddenly stiffened, fighting back the moisture that came so
unexplainably to her eyes. Stop it, she berated herself harshly.  Stop
it right now! Crying is for the weak, and you will *not* be weak.

   She closed her eyes, sighing, and when they opened again, they were
dry. What a pathetic lapse.

   Shaking her head, she grabbed the two other stacks of photographs
and stood up.  She had an appointment with Kuno, and she wasn�t about
to give him the upper-hand by being late.  She trotted down the stairs,
slipped on her shoes, and rushed out the door, with a hurried bye to
Ranma and Akane, who were sitting at the table, startled by her quick
departure.  

   As Nabiki made her way to the shopping center, she found her
thoughts returning to Ranma and Akane.  She sneered inwardly, but this
time it wasn�t as lighthearted.  There was something... Had she been
more sentimental, or more poetic, she would almost have discribed it
like a raw pain in her heart.  Could it be, she thought slowly, that
I�m jealous of them?

   Right.  Like she was actually envious of Ranma or Akane.  What did
either of them have that she might possibly want?  What a laugh. 

   Still, a little voice in her head persisted.  Could it be that she
was lonely?  

   What, with my best friend, the yen?

   That she longed for genuine friendship?

   Emotional involvement only leads to pain.

   For...love?

   I think that I�ve covered that already.

   No, the vioce protested.  Could you truthfully say that anybody,
aside from those obligated, acutally loves you?

   The thought brought her up short.  Daddy and Kasumi, yes.  Akane,
yes.  Ranma held no particular fondness for her, and she didn�t think
that Mr. Saotome loved anyone except himself.  As for her school
friends, they certainly didn�t love her.  They respected her, held her
in great regard, but that didn�t constitute for anything.

   And all of that was fine.  But...  She had never been a sucker for
romance.  Romance, so to say, ate away at your heart and soul, until
you had no will or strength left.  What good was it?  And anyway, it
wasn�t that she couldn�t find it.  Many guys in school liked her. 
Sure, it was nothing compared to Akane, but she had her own little fan
club.  If only they weren�t such imbeciles!  The only boys she knew
that were half-way worth the trouble weren�t looking for a girlfriend,
and she understood that perfectly. 
   Still...the fact that she didn�t like anybody herself didn�t mean
that nobody normal should like her.  It was a matter of pride.  How
come only about a dozen boys whose minds combined couldn�t form a brain
had interest in her?

   And dropping the matter of intelligence, finding which in a boy was
an impossible task, what about gallantry? For instance, why didn�t
Kuno--

   Nabiki stopped herself in mid-thought.  Kuno?  Normal?!  That was a
good one! Perhaps she should leave the photo business and try stand-up
comedy.

   But, actually, what about Kuno...?

   I just said--

   Just as an example, her mind reassured her.  What about Kuno?

   She sighed.   Hmm.  Well...  He�s okay in school...

   Come on!  He writes the name of whatever girl he has a crush on on
the blackboard.

   And he is kind of cute...

   In an arrogant, nauseating sort of way.

    ...He�s tall...

   Woohoo.  That�s certainly number one on my list of necessities in a
boyfriend.

   He�s good with that oversized wooden knife of his...

   I�m sure that if we get married he�ll do all of the cooking.

   He�s rich...

   Ah...   Hmmm.  The boy is rich.

   Nabiki felt her perspectives shift.  Money... Now that was number
one on her list.  And Kuno had plenty of it.

   Well, all right, she acceded.  That�s one thing he has going for
him.  Nothing else, though.

   You just said yourself that he was gallant.

   Well, yes, but he doesn�t have to be so obnoxious about it.  *And,*
if he doesn�t stop quoting bad Shakespeare, he�s going to use up the
few brain cells he�s got left.  Poor Akane...

   Jealous, aren�t we?

   Nabiki stopped.  She was at the entrance to the market, and the
street was crawling with shoppers, but she didn�t care.  She couldn�t
*believe* that it had even *occured* to her that she might be jealous. 
Of all the disgusting, twisted things that she had ever heard, that one
took home the prize.  It was so crazy, so amazingly untrue...!

   Nabiki noticed that she was panting in outrage.  She calmed herself
down, forcing herself to breathe evenly despite the pain in her chest. 
Jealous for Kuno?  For Kuno?! What in the world would she want with
Kuno?  She had already cited her bit on romance, but with Kuno, that
was even worse; that was beyond imagine!

   Her legs started moving forward mechanically until she was at the
cafe that Kuno had asked to meet her at.  He was already there; he had
a habit of always being either early or late.  What a moron, what a
simpleton!  

   She entered and he turned his head as if to ascertain that she was
there.  Nabiki was familiar with the routine, but she found herself
noticing how stupid, how incredibly fake and pathetic the action
looked.  She walked over to the table and slid into her chair, steadily
keeping an impassive face as she met Kuno�s eyes.  Finally, some
waitress in a sad looking little dress brought over something that she
automatically started eating.

   Kuno was saying something, but she couldn�t hear him, she was just
noticing how dumb that serious expression on his face looked, how
practiced and unnatural... And what about that stupid *outfit,*
couldn�t he wear something normal instead of that baggy piece of silk? 
She turned her gaze down, her eyes following her chopsticks, but now
she realized how terrible this junk that she was eating tasted, like
dirt, urghh, she felt like she was going to gag...

   "Nabiki Tendo, are you listening?" Kuno�s demanding voice came out
of nowhere.

   Nabiki felt her cheek twitch.  His voice, his repulsive, sickening
voice, was grating on her nerves.  She set down her bowl with a little
more force than she had meant and put on a saccharine smile.  "You were
saying, Kuno?"

   He frowned and continued his speech about *something;* she wasn�t
really listening.  She just kept up the smile, saying nothing, until he
favored her with an inquisitive look and shut up.

   Nabiki felt herself turn green under his stare, but she stayed
smiling while she answered him.  "What was that again?"

   His eyes widened in indignity.  "Nabiki Tendo!" he half-way
screamed.  Seeing her unmoved expression, he started repeating his
monologue.

   Nabiki tried to listen for a few sentences, but finally she slumped
and buried her head in her hand.  She hated to look weak in front of
Kuno, but she couldn�t help it; she was just too tired.

   "Nabiki!" Kuno exclaimed.

   "Go away, Kuno," she managed, despite her disgust at how powerless
she sounded.

   "What?!"

   Without moving her head, she flashed him a dark glance.  "Leave me
alone!  I don�t want to see your ugly face any longer."

   She closed her eyes, but she could just see the angry, cocky
expression on his face as she heard him rise and walk away from the
table.

   It was as if the air suddenly cleared up.  Nabiki groaned.  What had
come over her?  Being jealous over Kuno wasn�t the only outrageous
thing that she had ever heard; why had she gotten so worked up? Why had
she gotten so disgusted in his presense?

   She sighed.  Kuno wasn�t at all as bad as her mind had made him out
to be.  He was half-way handsome. And when he wasn�t talking gibberish,
his voice was kind of pleasant, in a weird way. And as for his
outfit--well, the outfit had to go.

   Nabiki sighed again.  Her head had cleared up, and so had her
thinking.  Now she only had one question: why in hell was she defending
Kuno, to herself of all people?

   Maybe, she pondered as she poked her chopsticks into the soggy
mixture in her bowl, maybe...I am...sort of...jealous...  Not of Kuno,
in particular, of course, but...  Maybe I�m lonely.  Maybe I want
someone...to care about me..

   Maybe I sound like one of those sappy songs in one of those even
sappier musicals.  *Someone to caaare for me, ta-dum, ta-dum, ta-dum,
ta-dum.*

   But maybe...I want someone to feel about me like Kuno feels about
Akane or Ranma...

   Right.  If I want something that plagues me every second of every
minute of every day, I�d try for cancer, not a boyfriend.

   But, still.  Wouldn�t it be sort of nice to have someone to care
about you that much? To do stupid things like Kuno does, just for you?

   Hmm, a personal slave... I agree.

   Of course, if we�re talking about Kuno, it wouldn�t be worth the
trouble. He bothers Ranma and Akane more than he ever helps them.  He�s
a self-deluded fool.

   But, if you twist his actions around a bit...he is a sweet fool.  A
stupid, annoying, irritating, sweet fool.  

   And no matter what kind of fool he was, even he didn�t deserve what
she had said to him.  Sure, he deserved it more than anybody else she
knew, but...

   Grudgingly, Nabiki put placed some yen on the table and stood up. 
She did not like what she was about to do.

   She strode out of the cafe, and started in the direction of Kuno�s
house. 
 
   Hurry up, you don�t have all day!

   I�m not all that inclined to get there.  Why am I doing this?

   Kuno�s  wooden stick appeared over the horizon.

   Nabiki straightened and started walking at a slightly faster pace. 
For the first time in her life, she was grateful for Kuno�s ridiculous
"Honorable Samurai" slow walk.  Or half-way grateful, anyway.  Part of
her wanted to catch up to him and get it over with, and another part
was screaming for him to walk faster, to lose her, so that she wouldn�t
have a chance at any type of confrontation.

   But the idiot trudged on at a slug�s pace, and Nabiki�s unwilling
legs carried her over to him despite all her mind�s protesting.

   She steeled herself.  God, she didn�t want to do this.

   Maybe something heavy could fall on her. Sure, it would hurt a bit,
but if it kept her from this, it would be worth it.

   Or better yet, maybe something heavy could fall on Kuno...no pain,
no worry, same result.

   Unfortunately, nothing heavy chose this time of all times to
conveniently place itself above them.

   Nabiki�s mind was a combination of ire and resignation.  She never
apologized, had never in her entire life actually, seriously apologized
to someone, and she had hardly expected her first to be to Kuno, of all
people.

   She raised her hand.  

   You know, she reflected, it would be a lot more agreeable to just
club him over the head.

   You�re such a coward.

   So what if I am?

   You act so strong, but the truth is that you don�t have the guts to
do even this.  Nothing but a coward, and a hypocrite.

   Her fingers waivered, and finally tapped on Kuno�s shoulder.  He
turned around, surprised.  His countenance darkened as he saw Nabiki.

   "Yes, Nabiki Tendo?" he asked.  

   His voice was mild, but she could tell he was angry.  Fury flooded
inside her, mixed with the memory of nausea, but she pushed it all
down.

   Nabiki steadied her voice.  "Kuno," she began slowly.  

   Just say it!

   Random thoughts flew in her mind as she struggled to quickly prepare
a speech.  Look, Kuno, I just want to say, I�m sorry. You didn�t
deserve that, and I shouldn�t have said it.  I don�t know what came
over me, but I had no right to take it out on you.  I mean, you can be
a kind of okay guy, if you try...really hard.  Sure, you�re
sometimes...different, but not always in a bad way.  And you can
sometimes even be...nice to be around, or bearable, in any case.  And
yes, you do completely overdo it with Akane and the "Pig-Tailed Girl, "
but I sort of admire your determination.  I mean, you�ve got more
courage than I ever will.  As much as I hate to admit it, there are a
lot of things at which you�re better than me. Well...not a lot of, but
enough.   So...I�m sorry, and I hope...

   Enough.  She was totally stunned at some of the thoughts that had
just entered her mind, but she couldn�t stall anymore.

   Nabiki opened her mouth.

   "...So do you want the pictures or what...?"



------------------------

    C&C, anyone?  This is one of my first writing efforts, and I'd
appreciate any feedback.  Yeah, I'm a believer in the Kuno-Nabiki
romance. Sue me. :P

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