Subject: [FFML] [Songfic][R1/2]U2's The Sweetest Thing
From: Mark Doherty
Date: 5/12/1999, 6:07 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

The Sweetest Thing
Mark Doherty(mdoherty@uq.net.au)

Lyrics by U2. Characters by Takahashi. Scenes by boredom. The rest by me.

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My love she throws me like a rubber ball
   (Akane punts Ranma into the distance)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Genma and Soun weep at the obvious love between their offspring)
She won't catch me or break my fall
   (With a "Baka", Akane walks back inside)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Kasumi smiles, handing Akane a towel so she can have a bath after
   her workout)
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
   (Ranma screams as he flys through the air)
But in this I'm a rain cloud
   (Until he punches through a localised storm, leaving him in
   female form)
You know she likes a dry kind of love
   (Ranma-chan has time to sigh, before she falls through the roof
   of a bathhouse, right into the hot water on the girl's side)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (A dripping Ranma runs out, looking a little green. A moment
   later, chibi-Hinako runs out, coin in hand, clad only in a towel)
 
I'm losing you
   (P-chan ernks as he walks around trying to find Akane)
Hey hey hey, I'm losing you yeah
   (Unfortunately, he's not in the Tendo house)
Ain't love the sweetest thing
   (Not that the butchers in the abattoir complain, as they bring
   out their cleavers with an audible shing)
 
I wanted to run but she made me crawl
   (Mousse's glomp of love meets Shampoo's elbow-to-the-face of
   indifference)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Mousse tries again, this time succeeding)
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
   (As his glasses slide down onto his face, he realises he's
   glomped onto Cologne)
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Cologne leers)
You know I got black eyes
   (He screams, backpedaling into the kitchen)
But they burn so brightly for her
   (His arms flail, when he realises that his robes have caught fire
   from the stove)
Mine is a blind kind of love
   (Mousse stumbles outside again, his glasses knocked off, flailing
   blindly. He pauses when his hands encounter something squishy)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Shampoo furiously delivers the hundred-hand slap that's useable
   by any anime girl when accosted by a pervert)
 
I'm losing you
   (Ryouga scratches his head, looking at a map)
Oh oh oh, I'm losing you yeah
   (He leans on a sign indicating there was 1/2 a mile to Jusenkyo)
Ain't love the sweetest thing
   (Ryouga spots a person dressed in a cloak, and walks over to ask
   for directions)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (The person points out a way. After Ryouga leaves, the man takes
   off his cloak to reveal Pantyhose Tarou)
Oh oh, yeah
   (Tarou grins as Ryouga walks off a cliff)
 
Blue-eyed boy and this brown-eyed girl
   (Ranma makes it back to the dojo, looking a little drained. He
   almost walks into Akane as she steps out of the kitchen)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Akane smiles at him. Ranma hesitantly smiles back)
You can sew it up but you still see the tear
   (The smile drops pretty quickly when Akane pulls her attempt at
   chicken tempura out from behind her back)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Ranma starts to chuckle nervously)
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
   (A few moments later, he's in low earth orbit again)
And in this I'm a rain cloud
   (This time he lands dry, but it starts raining on him while he's
   lying in the crater of his impact)
You know we got a stormy kind of love
   (Ranma-chan shakes her head, rising to her feet as she looks in
   the direction of the dojo)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (The only warning she gets is a "Ranchan!" before Ukyou's glomped
   onto her left arm)
Oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (A second later, Shampoo's latched onto her right arm)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Before they can begin a tug-of-war, Ranma-chan feels arms
   loosely around her neck and another set on her breasts. She looks
   back and down; Kunou and Happosai respectively have latched onto
   her)
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
   (Ranma-chan screams, shaking off her glompers, and runs into the
   distance. The glompers run after her)

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What can I say, this song begged to be songfic-ed with the Ranma cast.

------
Mark Doherty - mdoherty@uq.net.au
http://www.tass.org/~mdoherty/index.html

Irony is Nature's way of telling us not to take life too seriously.
...No wonder they call her a Mother.