Ranma Al'Thor wrote:

On Wed, 5 May 1999, Tom Mathews a.k.a. Disruptor wrote:

      Makoto Mizuhara was anxiously pacing back and forth on the top of the Eye

You need to shorten your line lengths.

True.  

Sehkmet's.  Se will become the Kaisen flower. Kh will become Pharoh 90.  The
remaining emerald will land closest to the moon kingdom.  That one will form
Metallia.  The scepter itself will also be corrupted and bcome a being known

An interesting idea.

^_^ 

as Madam Vadiane.   Any of the  chaotic energy left over, will be collected

Is this something new or a reference I don't get?

The comet came from the Sailor Moon S movie and Madame Vadine came from
Sailor Moon SS movie

If they're in Senshi form in this scene, I'd suggest referring to them by
their Senshi names.

Probably should 

she was done, Ami used her Aqua Illusion to raise the platform free of the
floor by firing into the gap made by Haruka.  Once the dias was totaly
clear, Ami started forming small hills on one side of the device and a

Hills of what?  Ice?

Yes.  All right I'll put it in.

	I was just posting this to fight the spam and flamewars at the time. I
knew there were errors in the fic.  The comments that are being made are
on topic and will help out not only me, but other people when it comes
to grammar.

--
Tom Mathews a.k.a Disruptor

Upon hearing the rumor of a Legion of Superheroes Animated Series, I
thought, *Think of the toys, the merchandising, the Pokemon type game.*

I choose you Triplacte Girl.