Scenes From An Elevator:
An Idiotic Utena Spamfic

By: Dreiser


EPISODE ONE: The Sudden Stop.

SCENE: A nondescript elevator at Ohtori Academy where the 
shadows of Arisugawa Juri, Kaoru Miki, and Kiryuu Touga are seen 
riding inside of it.

TOUGA: (Over dramatically.) If the egg's shell does not break the 
chick will die without being born. We are the chick the egg is the 
world. If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being 
born. Break the world's shell!
ALL: For the revelo--umph!

(The speech abruptly ends when the elevator suddenly stops and they 
go toppling over one another.)

JURI: What... (She strains to keep her icy veneer but it's hard as 
Miki's head is in her chest.) Just happened? (She looks down at Miki 
and growls.) Get out of there!

(Miki abruptly pulls his head from the hold of Juri's chest and flies 
backwards from the force of the suction to land in Touga's lap who 
smiles lasciviously.)

TOUGA: (Seductively). Hello Miki... (Miki gives an abrupt squeak 
and leaps off of Touga's lap to huddle in the far corner to the elevator. 
Touga observes this and chuckles. He then focuses his attention on 
Juri.) I believe the elevator has stopped.
JURI: Why would the elevator stop?
TOUGA: (Shrugs.) How should I know? Am I in charge of 
maintenance?
JURI: (Eyes narrow.) Actually, as Student Council President the 
maintenance of this school does fall under your the realm of 
responsibilities.
TOUGA: Damn. I thought that was part of End of the World's duties.
JURI: Nope. They have mysterious things to do, like ordering us to 
fight in lame ass duels.
TOUGA: Ah.
MIKI: (Pipes up.) Makes sense!
JURI: (Looks out the elevator's metal frame.) It appears that we're 
trapped in here.
TOUGA: So it does. (Slyly.) Unless you'd like to try breaking out of 
the elevator and sending for help?
JURI: (Dryly.) Do I look stupid? That's a hundred foot drop.
TOUGA: (Sighs.) Where's Saionji when you need him?
MIKI: (Pipes up.) Why doesn't Saionji ever come to our Council 
meetings anyway?
JURI: I'm not sure... Touga?
TOUGA: Because he lost the key to the elevator.

(A long pause as Juri and Miki sweatdrop.)

MIKI: So why didn't you get him another one?
TOUGA: (Sniffs.) I'm not in charge of keys. That's maintenance. I'm 
not in charge of maintenance.
JURI: (Erupts.) Yes you are! You just don't like doing it because it 
gets you dirty!
TOUGA: (Looks wounded.) That is not the reason. I don't like 
maintenance because it's menial labor.
JURI: That's the same thing!
TOUGA: Is not.
JURI: Is too.
TOUGA: Not
JURI: Too.
TOUGA. Not.
JURI: Too.

(This continues on until the pair are out of the breath and heaving on 
the floor of the elevator. Miki observes them with a large sweatdrop 
on the side of his head.)

MIKI: Hey... I just thought of something. Do you suppose that End of 
the World is responsible for this?
JURI: (Heaving.) Maybe...
TOUGA: (Instantly recovers and sits up.) Nonsense. End of the 
World would have sent us a letter if they were going to stop the 
elevator and trap us inside.

(Miki and Juri sweatdrop at this).

MIKI: (Coughs.) I don't think we should even try explaining this to 
him, do you?
JURI: (Shakes her head sadly.) I agree.
TOUGA: (Continues on.) Yes! End of the World would have 
definitely told me of their plans to incapacitate my power by trapping 
me in this elevator! How could they not?!

(Touga continues to babble on as the scene fades to black.)

To be continued...

All characters in this spamfiction are from Utena. This is a nonsensical 
out of character piece of tripe that I wrote when extremely bored. I 
shall continue to write this series when I'm extremely bored because 
sometimes I just don't feel like making the effort to write things in 
story format. And yes, this was partially inspired by DDFA's Waiting 
For Minako series.

Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com

Author's note: It wasn't much in the way of revising but I figured
why not post it all the same? Oh well. I'm off to study...

Thrilling trailer line: What will happen next week?! Will Juri, Miki, and 
Touga still be trapped in the elevator?! Is End of the World behind 
this?! Did they send letters about the elevator stopping but lazy postal 
workers lost them?! With the other Student Council members gone 
will Saionji go mad with power?! Stay tuned!

Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

For SFAE in text and other spiffy Utena fanfics go to:
http://www.duellists.tj/~utena/index2.html