This is a good story, but I have a little trouble figuring out what
series you used and where they separate. Try visible breaks where scenes
shift [like this for example ----------------------] Perhaps a small
section identifying characters or at least what series you used in the
fic would help. Not everyone has seen Mole Diver or Tenchi Muyo, it would
help readers Identify characters they don't recognise.
	Alot of writers would benifit from this, I like to know where a
character comes from. As a matter of fact I have seen several anime that
I wouldn't have watched otherwise just because I recognised a character
from fanfics that I have read.[Mostly X-overs with series I know about.]
	Keep writing and remember that there is always room for improvement.
There is no such thing as a perfect story.
	Hope to see more of this fic, 
	Ja!
	Catbert25. 
___________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html
or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]