Told ya I'd get around to it! ;)
Ok... <rubs hands in anticipation> Here we go!
OK-- so here's the new draft of Girl Day's part four-- revised,
expanded, and with a whole new scene-- in which for once Kuno
DOESN'T get
bashed.
Now, that's novel! ^_^
<blink> No kidding. Hmm.... This could be interesting.
Kenko
<snip>
####
If there was anything truly good about the Girl Days
training, it
was that Ranma had her own room. And that Pops was sleeping in the
dojo (being banished there by Nodoka, who had NOT quite forgiven him
for his apparent desire to win the all time baka award). The room
had been slightly redecorated, true-- Ranma needed the vanity for her
makeup practice, and had a small but now complete wardrobe-- but it
was HERS, all hers.
It was also somewhat schizophrenic to the uninformed eye.
In tribute to her masculine soul, there were a few Jackie Chan
posters, a collection of shonen manga, and a box containing her-- at
the moment-- forbidden boxer shorts.
In tribute to Nodoka's firm belief that there was also
a feminine
soul involved, there was fancily feminine sheets on Ranma's futon, a
full size mirror, and... two stuffed animals.
Ranma was REALLY beginning to worry about her mother. The
stuffed panda was, she supposed, a sop to her no longer sleeping with
her father. Af if she missed THAT.
^^
'As'
And I for one am GLAD that Ranma doesn't miss that! ;)
<snip>
"Wo Ai Ni," giggled Ranma.
I take it neither Ranma nor Akane know what that means? I mean,
Akane's only been wanting to hear it for god knows how long now... ;)
<snip>
Nabiki held up the paperback. "The Pocket guide to Chinese
Amazon Law. I bought it off the internet."
"Where do they sell something like THAT?!?"
"Amazon.com. Hmm... you think there's a connection?"
Ranma, Akane, and even Kasumi groaned.
And the FFML groaned, and I groaned, and my DOG groaned. Boy, that
one was bad.
Funny, but BAD. ;)
<snip>
####
"My wife's plans worry me, Tendo."
"I'm sure she means well, Saotome. But they worry me also.
Suppose she succeeds too well?"
The two were again at the table they seemed to spend half their
lives at. Weither shogi, go, or chess, there was always some game
going on. Although this game wasn't any of the above.
"Tapping for three red mana. Fireball."
*O_O Oh please god no...
"I have to admit, Tendo, this Magic is interesting."
Oooh.... I think I have to go somewhere and be sick now...
<sniP>
Staring escalated to boggling to nearly freaking. A Ranma-esqe
Should this be 'Staring escalated from boggling to nearly freaking'
instead?
Akane was wierd enough. An Amazon Ranma was... well, about three
blocks south of the Twilight Zone, and approaching at a quick clip.
<snip>
The two bowed. Well, Akane bowed, but Ranma-- in a burst of
sudden pixieness-- curtseyed. "Mother too nice to Ranma," she
replied, keeping the act up.
"Yeah," Akane added, following suit, "Pretty decent of ya to say
so."
As the two fathers stared, still uncomprehending, Nodoka burst
into laughter.
"Hey," Nabiki interjected (having just come out of hiding with
Kasumi), "You two are pretty good at this. I have a little
proposition for you...
<cue Jaws theme>
<snip>
####
"HIBACHAN! HIBACHAN! RANMA TURN INTO SHAMPOO!!!"
Cologne stared at her panicky great-grandaughter in sheer
amazement. Shampoo was-- for once-- totally terrified. "Calm down
girl. What are you babbling about?"
"Ranma turn into Shampoo!"
The Amazon matriarch blinked. "Son-in-law has become
hair soap?"
"Not shampoo, Shampoo! Ranma dressing like Shampoo and talking
like Shampoo and carrying bonbori! And pervert girl is dressing like
Ranma and talking like Ranma! Is VERY scary!"
Cologne blinked. "That is... peculiar. Not so much that Ranma
might be acting oddly-- these things do happen to him, after all...
but that Akane is. I see that I shall have to investigate. Mousse,
we're closing early today."
"Quack."
"Well, we're closing early today after the kettle has
heated up."
ROTFLMAO...
Still ROTFLMAO...
<whew> Oh, MAN, this section was funny! 'Son-in-law has become
hair soap?' BWA-ha-hah-hAH-hA!
<snip>
Nabiki followed, camera in hand, stifling as best she could
giggles.
'... stifling giggles as best she could' would work better,
methinks.
<snip>
(Author's Note: The lake in question, by the way, was the
not-very-famous-at-all Lake Kipper, noted for it's truly amazing
ability to pickle herring in sixteen seconds-- not much of a magical
lake, true, but enough to qualify Kasarikustan as a mystical kingdom.
In other words, No, it's NOT another failed cure for Ranma. It is,
however, an excellent cure for fish.)
<blink>
<blink blink>
<GROAN>
That was WRONG! <sigh> Puns.... Why did it have to be puns? ;)
Midol was the greatest warrior of his kingdom. But since his
kingdom consisted almost completely of terminally clumsy morons and
scrawny twerps that Gosunkugi could easily take four falls out of
five-- with a one fall handcap-- this didn't mean much when in a
handicap
place like Nerima, where even the ordinary passerby was quite likely
to have a dan rating in a martial art-- even if it was something as
luducrous as Martial Arts Cheese-toast-making.
<snip>
And after a long time, Midol was an accomplished linguist
(Everyone has to accomplish SOMETHING, right?), and the KIS had
narrowed the sightings of red-haired women, Amazons, and occaisional
occasional
violence to a ward in Japan called Nerima.
Which leads us to the events of about thirty paragraphs up.
####
<snip>
<< You know, a prince in the family might not be a bad idea...>>
a panda-wielded sign read.
"Akane lend Ranma... tool?"
"Yeah, but just this once."
"OK. PANDA NO BAKA!"
WHAM!
Passing the mallet back to Akane, Ranma smiled.
"Not bad. Should work on the followthrough, though," admitted
Akane.
Ok. From my previous C&C's you know that I have a full-fledged,
ready-to-go, up-to-the-minute rant ready about Akane and Her Hammer.
Forget it. In fact, as far as this fic is concerned... <grabs Rant>
RRRRRIIIPP!!
THIS WAS TOO DAMN FUNNY! ;)
Forget I ever said anything about Akane's hammer. <wipes tears> Oh
man, I think I broke something laughing that time... ;)
<snip>
"No. Now, if you can bring three treasures, she MIGHT be
persuaded to go out with you, once."
"Three- what three? Nothing can defeat Midol of Kasarikustan!
Well, except her."
"A Phoenix's tooth, the secret horde of the Demon Happosai, and
a cask of the fabled Nannichuan of Jusenkyo."
Is that 'hoard' as in "a dragon's hoard" or is it 'horde' as in "a
horde of demons"?
<sniP>
"Well, this will-- after using it first with cold water,mind
you-- you will, using it and only it, be able to take hot baths
without changing-- or worrying about accidental changes either."
I get the drift of this paragraph, but MAN is it hard to read. I'd
clean it up a bit if I were you.
<snip>
A short Author's Note--
It's amazing how often Akane seems to be chased by this or that
magical prince (at least in OAV's and fanfictions, though it happens
in the series and the manga also). I just thought that not all
magical princes had to be competent-- or after Akane. Ja ne!
I don't know if I can take another of these! <whew> I've been
laughing since the "don't wanna" scene... ;)
This is great stuff. It's about time some good, thigh-slapping,
gut-busting, eye-watering humor fics started being posted. Thank you!
Brian Payne
sofaspud@ior.com
brianp@nhspokane.com
http://www.ior.com/~sofaspud