Scenes From An Elevator:
An Idiotic Utena Spamfic

By: Dreiser


EPISODE SEVEN: Time Exiled.

SCENE: A nondescript broken elevator at Ohtori Academy where 
the shadows of Arisugawa Juri, Kaoru Miki, and Kiryuu Touga are 
seen inside. Miki is tied up and gagged with duck tape. He lies in the 
corner of the elevator. Touga is methodically taking the screws out of 
the metal wiring to the elevator and Juri is helping him.

JURI: (Removing screws.) I know Miki has been annoying of late 
with his constant references to his lost stopwatch but is it really right to 
drop him out of this elevator?
TOUGA: (Removing screws.) Do you want to hear him make that 
ticking noise for another ten hours straight?
JURI: (Shudders.) No...
TOUGA: (Removing screws.) Then go faster! Once we get these 
screws out we can remove the metal wiring and throw Miki to his 
doom!
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to duck tape.) Pzouwerilph!!
TOUGA: (Throws a screw to the floor.) As if we'd truly believe that 
Miki! You're obsessed with time, admit it!
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to duck tape.) Bpiklawe...
TOUGA: (Starts to pull out metal wiring with Juri.) So you say but 
you do realize how annoying your habit of timing everything is?
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to duck tape.) Trikuvc...
TOUGA: (Pushes metal wiring off and watches it drop to the ground 
with a loud crash.) Then you understand why we have to do this?
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to duck tape. He nods.) Rfiup...
TOUGA: (Smugly smiles.) That's what I thought.
JURI: (Shakes her head in amazement.) His powers of brain washing 
are getting stronger each day.
TOUGA: (Sharply.) What was that, Juri?
JURI: (Laughs nervously.) Nothing!
TOUGA: (Studies Juri closely.) Hmmm. Never mind! We must 
quickly drop Miki out of the elevator before he tries to start his 
monotonous ticking again!

SCENE: The ground by the nondescript broken elevator at Ohtori 
Academy. Saionji Kyouichi is walking past having an in depth 
discussion about global economics with Chu Chu.

SAIONJI: (Scowls.) You're wrong I'm telling you! The real market 
shares are in Canada! They'll export anything!
CHU CHU: (Shakes his head.) Chu chu chu... chu!
SAIONJI: The British?! Are you mad?!
CHU CHU: Chu chu! Chu!
SAIONJI: (Sniffs.) Well, it's your billion yen. Don't come complaining 
to me when you're wiped out.
CHU CHU: (Smirks.) Chu chu. 
SAIONJI: I doubt that Anthy will loan you that much money. (Chu 
Chu suddenly pauses in his walk.) What's wrong?
CHU CHU: (Looking upward. In stunned tones.) Chu...

SCENE: A nondescript broken elevator at Ohtori Academy where 
the shadows of Arisugawa Juri, Kaoru Miki, and Kiryuu Touga are 
seen inside. Juri holds Miki by the feet while Touga holds his arms. 
They are preparing to throw him mercilessly out of the elevator and to 
the ground below.

TOUGA: (Squinting.) Wait a minute! That's Saionji! Damn him! How 
did he find out our plans?!
JURI: (Sighs heavily.) Not again...
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to duck tape. Sighs.) Trgkowp...
TOUGA: Fools! It really is Saionji!
JURI: (Leans over to look.) I'll be damned. He's right.
TOUGA: Hurry! We must throw Miki out of the elevator and to his 
doom before Saionji stops us!
JURI: (Blinks.) Why would he stop us?
TOUGA: Because he's my arch nemesis!
JURI: Your what?
TOUGA: (Frustrated.) Forget it! Just hurry up and help me throw 
Miki out of the elevator! If we're lucky he might even land on Saionji! 
(Says gleefully to himself.) Oh how I've dreamed of the day I would 
see him squooshed...
JURI: (Shakes her head.) Whatever. Lets just do it.

(Juri and Touga swing the duck taped Miki back and forth at a fast 
pace before they throw him helplessly out of the elevator and towards 
the ground below.)

TOUGA: (Cries out.) Fly free little Miki and squoosh the arch 
nemesis of your Student Council President!
JURI: (Mutters.) Great. Now I'm trapped alone in this elevator with a 
complete and utter nutjob.
TOUGA: (Sharply looks to Juri.) What was that Juri?
JURI: (Laughs nervously.) Nothing!

SCENE: The ground by the nondescript broken elevator at Ohtori 
Academy. Saionji Kyouichi is standing frozen next to Chu Chu 
looking up at the duck taped Miki who is falling towards them at 
mammoth speeds.

SAIONJI: (Squints.) Is that Miki plummeting towards us?
CHU CHU: (Quietly scoots away.) Chu...
SAIONJI: (Looks to Chu Chu.) And where are you going?

(Before Chu Chu can respond Miki lands on Saionji with a loud thud 
and crushes him.)

SAIONJI: (Groans.) Ouch.
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to the duck tape.) Mswioplz!

(Chu Chu walks over to the pair and stands in front of Saionji who 
eyes him warily. Chu Chu taps the small wristwatch he wears and 
Saionji's eyes widen.)

SAIONJI: Oh no! My Kendoists Anonymous and Men Who Obsess 
Too Much meeting is starting in ten minutes! (He leaps to his feet and 
sends Miki crashing to the ground again before he runs away in a 
cloud of dust.)
MIKI: (Muffled thanks to the duck tape.) Weioipqml!! (Chu Chu 
stands in front of him and stares at Miki then abruptly pulls off the 
duck tape. Miki gasps deeply in relief then he focuses solemn eyes on 
Chu Chu then asks.) What time is it?
CHU CHU: (Looks at his wristwatch.) Chu. Chu, chu.
MIKI: (Wears a face of ecstasy.) Oh yes! I love the time! (He looks 
back to Chu Chu. He asks eagerly.) And what time is it now?

(While Chu Chu sweatdrops and gives the time yet again the sound of 
Miki asking for the time once more is heard as the scene fades to 
black.)

To be continued...

All characters in this spamfiction are from Utena. This is a nonsensical 
out of character piece of tripe that I wrote when extremely bored. I 
shall continue to write this series when I'm extremely bored because 
sometimes I just don't feel like making the effort to write things in 
story format and sometimes I just feel like being silly. In other words 
don't take this stinky poo seriously. It's just for fun. And yes, this was 
partially inspired by DDFA's Waiting For Minako series.

Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com

Thrilling trailer line: What will happen next week?! Will Juri and Touga 
still be trapped in the elevator?! Will Miki ever stop asking Chu Chu 
for the time?! And is there really such a thing as Kendoists 
Anonymous?!

Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

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