Europe, the Age of Enlightenment, Tuesday.

In a city under siege by the Ottoman army, a struggling actors guild's
production of "The Adventures of Baron Saotome" has been thrown into chaos
by a elderly gentleman in military outfit and glasses.

Genma: (Facing the audience, from center stage.)  "I am Baron Genma
    Saotome and the reason for this siege is that the Ottoman Emperor
    wants my head."

One of the actors: (From backstage)  "He can have it!"

Genma: (Ignoring this)  "But I have a plan to lift the siege and save the
    city.  I shall gather my son and his three fiancees and we shall defeat
    the Ottoman army."

Member of the audience: "What good are a handful of people going to do
    against an army?"

Genma: "Each has amazing powers.  First my son is the fastest man alive."

audience: "Well, he'd have to be, with three fiancees!"

Genma: (Ignoring this) "Then there is Ukyou with her keen eyesight and
    deadly accuracy and Shampoo with her amazing catlike agility and
    senses.  And let us not forget sweet Akane.  Her cooking alone should
    put the Turk to rout."

audience: "Well, where are these people?"

Genma: "At various spots on the globe."

audience: "How are you gonna get there when the city is under siege?"

Genma: "We shall build a hot air balloon and fly above the Turk!  So now
    ladies, if you will kindly remove your knickers and hand them to my
    companion."

Happi: "Darlings!"

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb
    Any sufficiently cool technology is indistinguishable from religion.