C&C of bitsandpieces.

        Johnson didn't answer; in fact, he had moved out of
the light range of everyone else.  Then his head drifted
into the light of Rippongi's flashlight, neatly severed at
the neck.  For a moment, they all stared, then Rippongi and
Anderson both brought their lamps around to see what had
happened.  The last transmission from the expedition was the
sound of screaming. 

What did you expect from an expedition in a Mythos-style story?

"Ibuki-san," said Rei evenly, "I want to kill her."

I liked this bit with Rei. In fact, I liked ALL the bits with the
Children. They're all more fully-fleshed here than in the original
series, and less annoying. This is the primary reason why I'd rather
read CoaEG than watch Eva itself.

Then Asuka fell to the ground and passed out. 

This bit was more than mildly disturbing in view of Rei's earlier
comment. Very good.

He caught a glimpse of
something that looked like 'Vogue', but he assumed it
couldn't possibly be. 
They walked in silence for a while after that, then
Shinji blurted out, "Do you really have an issue of Vogue in
your bag?" 

        "Maya said to study it." 

It says a lot about my mindstate while reading this fic that when I
first saw "Vogue", I tried to think of titles of Mythos books that might
have a title that could be mistaken for it. I though of "Liber d'Ivonis"
(That it?), but then the payoff of the joke came, and I laughed.

On the climax:

Ghatanathoa was always my favorite GOO. I enjoyed your use of him, and
especially Shinji's battle with the AT field and surrender. Asuka's
vision gives us a glimpse of what is actually going on, which is good.

"NERV already pays you a hundred thousand yen a
week,"  Misato said.  "And I NEED my salary." 

That seems a little low for what they do. It does, however, sound like
what they would get. Considering he hasn't touched it, I expect to see a
funny Shinji spending spree next ep.

"Anywhere that people won't notice a few monoliths." 

No. No. Not so early. You wouldn't.
But you're going to. The Demon-Sultan himself, hideous piping entourage
and all, is coming to Earth, in all his mad and stupid glory.
The problem that he's the motive force of this entire space-time is
going to be conveniently worked around, I hope. And isn't it traditional
to deal with his messenger, instead?
-- 
David Siegel
Both the Library and the Guardian of the Library
dhs28@columbia.edu
<Webpage Coming Soonish>
"All tautologies are true."-David Kagan