Those who hunt Ataru.

	Part 1: The lost self insertist.

	It was a dark and stormy night in Nerima Japan; as exspected the
residents of the quiet street where sleeping soundly in their beds. Three
figures emerged from a shining tear in the fabric of dimensions. They
were tall and dressed in a strangely familiar fasion as their forms
became clearly visible in the evening rain. One of them fell face first
on the ground with a loud splash catching the attention of the others. 
	"Damn! These things are heavy." grumbled the short girl as she rolled
over and sat up examining her chest with interest. She was dressed in
traditional chinese Kung fu clothing, a blue silk shirt with black loose
fitting pants. She had long brown hair that matted down on her head from
the downpour. She was pretty and very fit, her pettite frame forced her
male companions to turn away in embarassment.
	"I wonder if my curse workes, Doug?" asked one of the boys. His hair was
cut short and spiked on the top; he was dressed in Japanese traveling
clothes rather like Ryoga's outfit from Ranma 1/2; the only exseption was
that his bandanna and shirt were dyed red instead of yellow. He held a
black bamboo umbrella in his hand  held protectively over his head. He
shifted and lowered the umbrella tentatively.  Almost immediately he
shrank almost five inches and fell forward straight into a mud puddle
from the weight shift from the newly formed breast. "Cool." muttered the
boy as he struggled to his feet and shakily adjusted to his new form.
	"How the hell would I know Bill?" muttered the first girl as she turned
and saw him transform. "I guess it does."
	The third traveler snorted in slight ammusment at his companions and
glanced around. He was wearing a black trench coat that covered a dressy
looking black shirt and slacks. He removed his shades, brushed his short
cut black hair back and adjusted his small ponytail;  He smiled as he
recognised the signs in Japanese. In his hand was an ornate but simple
walking cane. The handle was a knob with a dragon symbol carved into the
top, the sides where covered in twisting dragons with two brass rings 
about six inches apart near the handle. "You idiots, we need to figure
out where we are."
	"Nerima right?" snorted the girl dressed like Ranma.
	"Nerima is a pretty big place guys." muttered the dark clad traveler.
	"Whatever Dan," grumbled Doug calmly.
	"Time to do a systems check!" announced Bill as she pulled out a soggy
paper from his clothing.
	"We aren't a computer Bill, come on." growled Dan as he stalked towards
a street light.
	"We need to make sure all our stuff is in order first!" whined Doug
pathetically.
	"Whatever just hurry it up will ya? I want to get out of this rain."
said Dan calmly as he leaned against the light pole.
	"Alright, curses intact, check." Bill pulled out an ink pen and poked a
hole through the wet paper as she tried to check off the list. "Super
martial arts abilities?"
	Doug flipped around in the air easily and performed a few kicks and
punches easily. "Check." she chirped giddily.
	"Super strength?" asked Bill as she poked another hole through the
paper.
	"Check." said Dan as he bent the light pole slightly with a quick
strike.
	"Great! How about impervious to damage?" asked Bill.
	Dan snorted and kicked Doug dead in the gut knocking the wind out of her
and sending her to her knees. "Did that hurt?"
	Doug coughed and gave a thumbs up sign before she fell over in pain.
	"You wuss," snickered Bill as she checked it off anyway. "Dashing good
looks?"
	Doug seemed to instantly recover as she stood next to Dan smiling. A
sparkle appeared in Dan's teeth as they posed dramatically. "Check." the
three said in unison.
	"Ok, Super powerful Chi and fireball stuff?"muttered Bill as she
strained to read the blurred ink.
	Doug shrugged her shoulders and casually lifted his hand; it filled with
a glowing light and a ball of energy flew forward from it disintigrating
the front wall and living room of a nearby home.
	"Check." said Bill calmly as she poked a hole through the paper not even
trying to check any more.
	Dan almost passed out in shock. "Are you guys nuts?! You can't go
blowing up people's houses!" he cried angrily.
	"Relax Dan, it's anime. Everything will be back to normal here in no
time." said Doug with a dismissing wave of her hand.
	"Now we must find Ranma so I can steal his fiancee from him and have
lots of sex!" said Bill with an evil grin.
	"Yes, fear not Shampoo chan! For I shall release you from that evil
stalking bastard Mousse! That will clear the way for us to be toghether!
Then we'll have lots of sex too!" cried Doug as she joined Bill's pose.
	"Let's agree now, if you don't walk in on my lemon scenes I won't crash
yours with a big tacky mustache on." said Bill looking wise as she could.
	"Dude, I don't mean to complain but, your a babe right now. I mean...I
don't know if I can resist the temptation." replied Doug.
	"Thats @#$@ed up." said Dan from behind them. Bill just stared at Doug
in disgust. Dan sighed and shook his head, "Neither of them has a chance
in hell of getting laid; not even here."
	Dan stiffened up suddenly; he sniffed the air delecately and whirled
around glancing in different directions. "A girl." he said with a wicked
smile. He sniffed gingerly at the wind again, "Five three, hundred and
fifteen, maybey hundred and eighteen pounds...red hair, blue eyes,
and...desperately yearing for male companionship." His eyes glazed over
as he began to stalk off in a random directions.
	"Hey! Dan activated the babe-dar!" said Doug as she noticed her friend
wandering off.
	They stopped as a girl appeared in the street in the direction Dan was
heading. She was exactly as described and a hard glare was set in her
face. Dan smiled as his manner changed instantly, he spread his arms
warmly and approached the girl with a friendly smile. "What is a pretty
young girl like you doing out in the street in this weather all alone?"
he said in a cheerful tone. "It's dangerous out here, let me escort you
home."	
	The girl snarled and punched Dan dead in the face. He staggered back and
blinked as if he had been sleepwalking. "Hey, what are you doing out here
all alone in the middle of a rain storm?" he wondered out loud.
	"Who says I'm alone?" spat the girl as people began to emerge from their
homes. None of them looked happy.
	"Uh-oh," said Doug as he glanced around and backed away from the forming
mob.
	"You! You blew up my house!" screeched the girl as she hit Dan again.
	"I did not! She did it!" retorted Dan as he pointed at Doug.
	The residents of the street began to converge towards them and the group
backed away nervously. "We should run," said Dan to his friends.

	About an hour later the three of them found themselves sitting in a park
gasping for breath. "I think we lost em'" gasped Bill. She and her
companions sat in a circle just behind a clutch of bushes. 
	"Great, now what genius?" growled Bill angrily as she glared at Dan.
	"Don't look at me! It was Doug's bright idea to blow up the house!" the
boy retorted angrily. He stopped and stared straight ahead with a dumb
look on his face; his demenor quickly changed as he grinned and sat up
straight with a rather suave look on his face.
	Dan and Bill turned slowly only to find the longest curviest pair of
legs either of them had ever seen. "Wow, those go all the way up." said
Bill dumbly.
	The owner of the legs glared angrily, it was hard to make out her
appearance in the shadows but she appeared  to be wearing a sailor fuku.
"All right you guys show's over." she growled.
	The three travelers just continued stareing and the girl blushed as she
realised what they were looking at. "Hey! Cut that out!!" she screamed as
she grabbed Bill by her collar. "Your a girl aren't you?"
	Bill shook her head negative and the Sailor scout turned slightly green.
"A-alright you jerks your going back! I'm sick of cleaning up your stupid
messes!" scolded the angry scout as she shook Bill violently and tried to
regain her composure. Bill was desperately trying to look down the
senshi's shirt but her own breast kept getting in the way.
	Dan stood and smiled, "What seems to be the problem ma'am?" he said
calmly.
	The senshi threw Bill to the ground and looked Dan up and down. "I saw
them!" muttered the girl as he lay slumped against a tree trunk.
	"Hey, your Sailor Pluto!" said Doug as she glanced up from her legs
momentarily.
	"That's right! I'm sick of cleaning up after you stupid self insertist
make messes out of my dimension! Now get the hell out!" screamed Pluto as
she pulled her eyes away from Dan. "How did you idiots get here anyway?
Some magic items shop, or maybe a dimensional transporter? Computer
accident maybe? Ancient relic? I don't care just get out and smash
whatever brought you here! If you don't I'll be forced to kill you!"
	"It was that last one, we found it in a vending machine at the mall, it
had this weird Genie in it. It gave us this map of dimensions and made
the necklace a dimensional key!" said Dan proudly as if he had done it
himself.
	"If your a sailor scout... what are you doing in Ranma 1/2?" said Doug
in confusion.
	"What?" said Pluto in confusion as a sort of relieved look crossed her
face.
	"What are you doing in Ranma?" repeated Bill.
	"This isn't Ranma you idiots! That's almost two hundred dimensions
away!" screamed the Senshi in frustration.
	"Oh..." muttered Dan as he looked at the necklace sheepishly.
	"Just get out!!" roared the senshi.

	A few moments later in limbo, a blast of white flame errupted from a
dimensional rip. Three charred figures screaming in pain rushed forward
and collapsed on the ground in a heap. Another exsplosion of fire blasted
into the doorway with a feminine scream of "DIE!!"
	"What the hell is your problem Bill!?" screamed Dan at the blushing girl
happily licking her hand.
	"You don't feel up Sailor Pluto you idiot!" screeched Doug.
	"Shut up! It was worth it!" said Bill calmly as she continued to lick
her hand like it was a popsickle.
	"Well, yea...but thats not the point!" said Dan.
	"Shut up you Sailor moon fan you!" retorted Doug.
	"Hey! I only watch it because I have a little sister!"replied Dan
defensively.
	"You have three televisions and she is only six months old Dan." said
Bill with a critisizing look.
	"We have to raise our youth right ya know! Besides, at least I don't
record it every day!" said Dan as he glared at Bill. The girl only looked
away as she finished licking her hand.
	"What the hell are you doing Bill? She didn't even burn that hand." said
Doug in confusion.
	"Heh, nope... but I did." replied the girl as she stood and stretched.
	"I guess we'd better find another dimension." muttered Dan as he dropped
the charred  remains of the dimesional map.
	TBC......

	This is a fun little parody that many fanfic writers may enjoy. Next
time they pay a visit to Urusai Yatsura, then you learn where the story
got it's title. They don't stay long though! I plan to have them wreak
havoc across anime, Including: Tank Police, Slayers, Sorcerer hunters,
Tenchi Muyou!, Oh, My Goddess, Dragonball, Devil Hunter Yohko among
others [Open to suggestions]  in their search for the elusive Ranma1/2
[Will they ever find it?]

	Some of you seasoned FFML vets may recognise some of this. It was a
short story [that I no longer have] that I wrote a year or two ago and I
decided to re-write it since I have only a short time left before I have
to leave again for a while. Alot of changes, the incusion of Sorcerer
Hunters is probably the biggest. 

	C&C to Catbert25@juno.com
	I'd love to hear what you think of this.
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