Aahh, Evanjellydonut. What can I say? It's insane and
I love it. Now, onto C&C...

--- Andrew Huang <alhuang@hcs.harvard.edu> wrote:

  The writer really needs a life. Oh well, at least
he's getting part 4
going, yes?

Yup. And we're anime fans; we're not supposed to have
lives. It's in the job description =^_~=

************************************************

  Far, far above, doom approached, and it was the
14th Angel.

  It was big. It was menacing. It was powerful. It
was the Angel of
Might, Zeruel. It was....

  "Why are you watching TV on the monitors? You know
the commander's
going to kill you if he catches you."

  "Hey, gimme a break. You know how much I love
watching these parades.
Floats, bands, those big balloons...."

=O_o= I have no clue who's talking here, but I get the
feeling that it's the MAGI. Oh, well, it doesn't
really matter who it is; it's more fun that way.

  "Who the frag reads anything anymore?" *click*

  "I do!" *click*

  "What, those damn porno books?" *click*

  "Wha--I--that's not pornography, that's...'erotic
literature'!"
*click*

  "Right, porn." *click*

NERV must have lowered their standards if they're
hiring fanboys to watch for angels =^_~= 

  *click* *click* *click*
*clickclickclickclickclickclick* "OW! Leggo my
arm! Argh!"

  "Heh! Right! Now, I'm gonna watch this parade,
right? And...what is
_that_ thing?"

  "...looks like the most hideous balloon ever
buil...made...sewn
together. What's with that little face? And the
arms...they look like
folded up toilet paper."

I can see Zeurel running around screaming "I need T.P.
for my bunghole!" Or would it be for his S2 engine?

  "...say, you got any...can I maybe borrow one of
your porno novels?"

  "I said, it's erotic literature, not porn!"

  "Whatever."

  It definitely could not have been worse.

Of course not. It wouldn't be much fun if everything
went right.

***
Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, part 4:
The Good, the Bad, and the Really Ugly Angel
by Andrew Huang
written for The Sound and the Furry Productions
***

*reads the title and facefaults*

  There was a *whap* as Asuka gently shut Kensuke
up. "No, this is from
my aunt in Germany. Marzipan!"

  "Hey, they look like little fruits! Neat!" Hikari
scooted closer to
look at Asuka's giftbox. "They're candy?"

Marzipan... yummy yummy yummy.

  "Almond paste?" asked Misato. She glanced over at
her ward, who had
frozen up at the word "almond".

  Asuka nodded, slowly. "Yeah...why?"

  "Shinji has this allergic reaction to almonds,"
said Kensuke,
cheerfully. "It happened once, 'bout a month before
you got here. Say,
can I have another one?"

Ooooh boy...

  "Allergy?"

  Misato nodded. "In about an hour, he's going to
throw up everything
he's eaten in the past day or so."

  Shinji started turning green.

*winces* That's going to be a *load* of fun...

  "Well, when I say 'in about an hour', I mean, he
_starts_ in about an
hour, you see. The whole thing takes him up to
another hour and a half
to finish, if he's eaten a lot. And you saw how he
stuffed himself last
night."

  Shinji turned purplish.

And Misato's not helping any by describing it; it's
making *me* ill thinking about it....

  "After he's done with that, then, for at least the
next twelve hours,
he gets these dry heaves of which the likes have
never been seen.
Outside of his case, that is."

=O_O= Yup, loads of fun.

  "And that was from one almond that he accidentally
picked out of a can
of what was supposed to be only cashews. Now, when
you say almond paste,
do you mean it's kind of concentrated?"

Hmmm... it's a little unusual to be allergic to just
one kind of nut....

  Asuka nodded. "I think it would be."

  "Oh, damn. I'm calling Commander Ikari."

  Asuka considered this for a long while, blinking.
She finally managed,
lamely, "Oh. Sorry about that, Shinji. I didn't
know."

  With every ounce of misery that could possibly be
stuffed into his
voice, Shinji answered, "You will, now."

Shinji then proceeded to use Asuka's shirt as a barf
bag.... =^_~=

  Fuyutsuki shook himself off. "You seem to be doing
that a lot more
than usual, sir. The glasses thing."

  "Well, if you must know," said Gendou, removing
his specs and tapping
on the frame, "the last time Rei and I, ah, argued,
I landed on my face.
This hinge here is all bent."

*snicker*

  The Subcommander barely suppresed a snort.

  "Anyway, you see how it is. Plus, when I'm looking
down, it can fall
right off my face. I have to hold them up whenever I
read."

  "Ah."

  "And I get downright nervous whenever I'm standing
at a urinal."

*busts out lauging* Oh, that's *horrible*! And Gendo
deserves it so much... 

  Misato was presently putting down some plastic
sheeting on the
bathroom floor around the toilet. Meanwhile, Touji
had gone home to
fetch a pair of his rollerblading kneepads for
Shinji's use, accompanied
by Hikari.

Wise precaution.

  Shinji was being cuddled up to by Rei on the
couch, who was stroking
his hair and murmuring to him reassuringly. It must
be noted, however,
that she seemed poised to jump away in a moment, and
was keeping her
boyfriend facing the hallway to the loo.

Stand back, he's going to blow....

  Asuka looked on in bemusement. "Why didn't you try
to throw it up
earlier, anyway? Maybe if you got it out of you
quickly enough...."

  "Wouldn't work," mumbled Shinji. "I think I absorb
whatever it is
straight through my stomach walls. By the time you
were saying that the
stuff was made out of almonds, my mouth and throat
were already
itching."

Very typical for a nut allergy.

  "At least you did have the foresight to put down
the plastic sheets,
Katsuragi-san. Shinji-kun, try not to miss the bowl
this time...."

Eeeeewww.

  The music of a discontented stomach filled the
air.

Shinji and his Tummy Trio, ladies and gents!

  Asuka blinked. This was not natural, not at all.
"Ah. Thanks." She
took the slightly wilted flowers, and looked back at
him. Their eyes
met....

  "Are you okay, Kensuke? You look a little sick."

  "I'm fine! I am! Really. Er."

Nope, she didn't see that one coming...

<snip group scene>

Interesting, considering that Asuka probably would
have insulted Shinji for the same action...

  "Is it over?" asked Asuka. She was answered first
by a toilet flush.
"Gah, who could believe he had that much in him?"

  A woozy Shinji staggered out of the bathroom, and
tried to look at
Asuka in the eye, as much as a guy whose head and
neck were imitating a
freshly sprung Jack-in-the-box could do so.
"I...think so. Uh. Hngk."

  Asuka felt herself starting to get a bit ill
herself from the bobbing
and weaving, so she blinked and looked away. "Are
you sure? And what
about the, um...."

Neon Genesis Slinkies- buy your's today!

  "Don't worry about it, Asuka," grumbled Misato as
she emerged from the
bathroom behind Shinji. She was looking a bit tired,
and slightly pale.
"He feels a few kilos lighter now. That should be
all. As for the dry
heaves...that's _his_ problem now."

  "Gfhln." Shinji slumped against the wall. His body
was still making
odd noises, from around the middle regions.

Ever so concerned, is Misato?

  "Ngh. No thanks." Despite his obvious discomfort,
Shinji managed to
stand up straight, and with a determined (if
swirly-eyed) glare, he
marched to his room, turned to enter, and then fell
down through the
open doorway.

  "Oh, boy."

  "Haaaarglk!"

*snicker*

------------------------------------------------

  The Subcommander entered the men's room. He
happened upon Gendou, who
was vigorously scrubbing his eyeglasses in the sink
while letting out a
muttered string of curses. There were some wet
patches on the floor.

  Fuyutsuki looked at Gendou, who had stopped and
now squinted back.

  "Not a word, Fuyutsuki. Not a word."

ROTFLMAO! I love it! And apparently Gendou hasn't
quite learned to aim yet... =^_~=

  "Thank you, Bailiff," said Original, addressing
Professional, who had
been assigned that position for the time being. She
laid down her gavel
and arranged the notes on her unreal desk.

  Then again, one may first wonder why such a
dream-council would exist
anyway. However, Ayanami Rei is certainly a special
sort of person, and
allowances should be made. Not to mention, the
thought of a roomful of
Ayanamis make the fanboys drool.

*laughs*

  Original surveyed the council room, noting the
changes that had taken
place since the first meeting. For one thing, almost
everyAyanami was
starting to dress differently. She herself and Book
(and a few others)
still kept the school dress, and Professional was
still in the plug
suit, but Kickboxer now donned a gi, Irate had a
t-shirt sprinkled with
expletives, Lazy was constantly wearing pajamas
(when she could be
found), Affectionate put on things which would
concentrate the attention
of the fanboys quite well, provided they remained
conscious....

Oh yeah, definitely fanboy material.

  An Ayanami in torn jeans *ahem* and a loose
flannel shirt with wildly
colored hair (as opposed to the normal, unremarkable
ice-blue) walked up
to the front of the room. Well, not really walked,
so much as slouched
in an ambulatory manner. She paused to toss an empty
bag of potato chips
in a trash can before making it to the podium.

Punk Ayanami?

  "Could you please be a little more specific,
Hacker?"

  "Yeah, I guess."

  They waited.

  "_Would_ you please be a little more specific,
Hacker?"

I'm not sure about how the name Hacker came about...

  "...go ahead."

  "I move that we add the measure that we wear
nothing else for
Shinji-kun."

  "NO!!"

And fanboys everywhere have to turn back to their
imaginations...

------------------------------------------------

  [What on Earth is that?] asked Melchior.

  [Well,] said Balthasar, slowly, [Caspar has been
watching that odd
American parade wossname that's being televised.
Perhaps this is one of
the rejects?]

  [Do you suppose they decided to cut it loose
because it looks so bad?]

  [Sounds about right.]

  [How'd it get all the way over here, though?]

  [Bad luck? I'm getting a headache looking at it.]

  [We don't have heads that can ache, Balthasar.]

  [Oh...parse me, you little binary operator!]

=^_^= Very, very nice work on this. I'm waiting in
anticipation for the next bit.

Jess, the LilTigre =^_^=
===
Do something nice today. Castrate your local pedophile.
        *April- National Child Abuse Prevention Month*

               *~* Tora-chan Productions, Ltd. *~*
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