Okay, here's the final version of CMD15. Expanded the explanations by the
elder Akane a bit more and upped the anger level on the discussion after
the younger Akane explained events that led up to the wedding.
As usual, I'll send it to RAAC in a few days, so if you spot any last
minute mistakes, please let me know ASAP.
Enjoy! CMD16 coming right up.
[Ranma][Fanfic] Childhood of a Modern Dynasty - Chapter 15: Moko
Takabisha Wedding: The Wedding IS the Storm
=======================================================================
Childhood of a Modern Dynasty
Chapter 15: Moko Takabisha Wedding: The Wedding IS the Storm
Ranma 1/2 characters/situations created and copyright by Rumiko
Takahashi/Shogakukan/Kitty/Fuji/Viz - Used without permission
Childhood of a Modern Dynasty series created, written, and
copyright 1998-1999 by Jim Lazar
An ongoing series set after the end of the Ranma 1/2 manga and anime.
<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
Make sure to check out my Modern Dynasty website for
all released CMD stories, graphics files, and other information:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime/md
=======================================================================
A little more bad language in this chapter than normal as tempers run
high.
=======================================================================
>From the personal journal of James Davidson:
September 12, 2057
As I walked towards Akane's house this morning, I passed a group of
small potbellied pigs. I grinned as I wondered if they were descendants
of the fake P-chan that Ryoga had given Akane back in 1998. A couple
days ago, Akane had told me that the fake P-chan Ryoga had given her
turned out to be a girl and had gotten pregnant. Because of this, and a
series of events and a slip of the tongue by Ryoga, Akane found out
about Ryoga's curse. She was very upset, naturally.
Maybe not as mad as Ukyo was when Kang, Konatsu, and Ryoga trashed
her restaurant during their battle to win her affection. It seemed a
strange way to gain someone's affection, but this sort of property
damage was common in Nerima at the turn of the millennium, so I guess
they must have all been used to it. In the end, Konatsu left and Kang
got a Dear John letter, while Ukyo tried to find out what her feelings
for Ryoga were. True to form, Ryoga got them lost on their first date.
As I approached Akane's house, I saw her standing on her porch
talking to a hologram. I blinked a few times. Yesterday I had seen some
very realistic holograms of Nabiki's grandchildren, Reiko and Reiji.
This one looked more like the holo-phone transmissions I'm used to
seeing: low-res, partially transparent, and occasionally digital
dropouts would flicker across the middle-aged man's image.
I waited for her to finish her holo-call, but couldn't help
overhearing. According to the holo-phone status display that showed his
electronic business card, he was a Mr. Sato, a local official.
"Well, Ms. Tendo, what do you think?" Mr. Sato asked.
"I think it's excessive. Nerima-ku doesn't really need to be
renamed," Akane said.
"But your family has done so much for us and the world."
Akane smirked. "Even with all the property damage over the years?"
The man coughed nervously. "Well, that aside, will you please
consider it?"
"Okay, but I doubt I'll change my mind, Mr. Sato."
"Thank you." Mr. Sato's image flicked off and the holo-phone status
display updated the connection information and then folded up and
disappeared after a few seconds.
"Morning, Akane," I called out.
"Good morning, James," Akane replied, smiling and waving me over.
"What was that all about?"
Akane sighed. "They want to change the name of the ward from
Nerima-ku to Tendo-ku again."
"Wow," I remarked, then asked, "Again?"
Akane smirked. "Every few years when some politician is looking for
an edge in an election they want to change the name of Nerima. And
that's just the tip of the iceberg of what some people want to do."
I was a little surprised at her attitude. "It's quite an honor."
"I guess, but sometimes I wish I could lead a normal, quiet life."
"But not always," I mentioned, knowing there was a part of her that
enjoyed some of the more abnormal parts of her life.
Akane smirked. "No... not always. At least they are asking for
permission now."
"Well, I imagine after you destroyed those huge statues of you and
the Ranmas, they got the idea not to do things like that without
asking."
"That was an accident," she insisted flatly, but the glint in her
eye made me suspect that she might not be telling me the whole truth. I
remember reading a long time ago about the thirty-meter tall statues and
how they were destroyed during a skirmish with the Buyierfei. I'll have
to look up the information on that event later.
I started to sit down on the porch, but Akane stopped me. "It looks
like rain, so let's talk inside today."
"Okay." As we walked inside a thought occurred to me. "Hey, why was
that hologram so bad? Compared to the ones of Reiji and Reiko the other
day..."
"If the sender is sending a low-res hologram, there isn't much the
Reis can do to enhance it."
"I see. Garbage-in, garbage-out. My old editor at Newstime used to
tell me that all the time when I submitted my articles," I mentioned,
earning a smile from Akane.
Suddenly, the twin Reis materialized in front of us. Or their
holograms did. "Not true, Matriarch!" Reiko insisted, twirling her
shoulder-length black hair.
Reiji continued Reiko's line of thought without a pause. "You
should see some of the garbage the outside systems send to us!"
"We have to enhance and filter all kinds of data errors," Reiko
finished the explanation.
"I know, Rei. I just meant that even with two great system
operators like you we can't expect outside systems to be able to match
the Compound systems in quality," Akane said.
The Reis both smiled and their holograms both dematerialized in
that oddly familiar way that I still couldn't place.
"They get a little touchy if anyone says they can't make flowers
out of garbage," Akane commented after the Reis had vanished.
"I can see that. How is your husband?" I asked, as I knelt down. I
turned on my palmcard and opened the interview file.
Akane frowned. "The idiot didn't get back last night from the
mission."
"Oh, sorry to hear that."
Akane shrugged. "Well, I'll live. He and the team he's with ran
into some bad weather, so they won't get back until tonight," she said,
then seemed to want to change the subject. "Where were we?"
I hoped nothing was wrong, but I decided to continue with the day's
interview. "Ukyo and Ryoga had just gotten lost on their first date and
you had just found out about P-chan."
"Ah, then that means we get to talk about THE wedding today."
I raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why so dramatic?"
"You'll see."
***********************************************************************
April 10, 1999 - Nerima, Japan
The groom was wearing a smart white tuxedo and standing at the
front of the dojo. Dr. Tofu, the best man, stood by the groom's side.
Both of their faces were a mixture of nervousness and apprehension.
Unlike Akane's last attempted wedding, there were only a few people
in the dojo this time. The minister was standing in front, while Nodoka
was sitting behind the groom. Ms. Hinako, in her adult form, was sitting
across the aisle from Nodoka and held a bowl containing her fighting
fish. Nabiki poked her head in and gestured to Genma.
Genma started the music playing on the stereo and then took his
position next to the dojo doors. They, as well as the back wall, had
been repaired after the last attempted wedding back in March.
Within moments, Kasumi walked in and dropped carnation pedals on
the floor as she walked down the aisle. As usual, she wore a beautiful
smile on her face.
Nabiki followed, nervously scanning the dojo for signs of trouble.
This wedding had been arranged very quickly, so she didn't have time to
get her wedding task force together to prevent problems. Not that having
them available for the last wedding helped that much. Since only a few
people knew that this wedding was happening today and most of them were
present, Nabiki hoped that they could avoid any interruptions. The two
that knew and were not present worried Nabiki the most, as well it
should.
After Kasumi and Nabiki reached the front, Akane appeared in the
doorway dressed in her new gown. Her first wedding gown had been ripped
during the last wedding attempt, but they had managed to save the skirt.
They had a new top made and the repaired dress looked just as stunning
on Akane as the old one did. She held tightly to her father's arm as
they walked down the aisle. Behind her, Genma closed the doors, rolled a
steel shutter down over the back wall, and locked it. The other three
walls all had similar shutters, which were installed when the back wall
was repaired.
Except for Kasumi's pleasant smile, the others in the dojo all wore
smiles that looked forced, bride and groom included.
When Akane and her father reached the front, Soun put her hand into
the groom's. He kissed his daughter and then sat down next to Ms.
Hinako, who quickly put away the toy that she was playing with. They
exchanged worried looks as he took her hand.
Akane smiled at her soon-to-be husband and then looked at the
minister.
The minister looked at the couple, then said, "We are gathered here
today to join this-" He paused briefly, but then quickly continued when
the groom glared at him. "-man, and this woman, in holy matrimony.
Marriage is not to be taken lightly, obstacles must be overcome to find
the one you love and arrive at this point."
"Two hearts come here today to join into one by the strength of
their love for each other. If there is anyone present here today who
knows why these two should not be joined, then let them speak now or
forever hold their..."
The peace of the ceremony was shattered when the center of the
steel shutter was blown apart and sent twisted pieces of metal flying
into the dojo. A figure smashed through what was left of the steel
shutter and advanced on the front of the dojo, a very angry aura
surrounding it.
"You better fucking believe I object!"
Akane frowned and looked at the figure. "Ranma, please don't fight
me on this."
Ranma was still fuming when he cracked his knuckles and glared at
the redheaded groom. "I don't know what Ranko has done to make you
forget about me and Sanma, but I deserve an explanation for being dumped
for this little bitch!"
Ranko lowered her head, causing the red pigtail on the side of her
head to flip forward.
"Don't talk about your sister that way! He didn't do anything. *I*
made this decision! As I told you and Sanma this morning, I still love
you both, but I have to marry Ranko now. I wish I could explain better,
but for now that's all I can say. Maybe..."
Ranma interrupted Akane. "Don't give me that bullshit again! Just
tell me why you won't marry me!"
Akane bowed her head. "I didn't say I won't marry you... just not
now. Ranko needs my full attention. Please, just sit down and let us
finish."
Ranma had closed the distance between them. The physical distance
that is, the emotional distance was increasing at an exponential rate.
"I guess you really are a lesbian then."
Akane's head shot up and her eyes echoed the pain that erupted in
her heart. Without any warning, her hand shot up and slapped Ranma
across his cheek, hard enough to leave a dark red welt.
Ranma's head snapped to the side when he was slapped. He put his
hand up to his cheek and frowned. All the times Akane had hit him with
the mallet or whatever was handy at the time were nothing to the pain he
felt in his heart now. As he saw his happy life with Akane vanishing
before his eyes, he made a decision. Like all decisions made in haste,
this one would cost him dearly. He pushed Akane aside and took a swing
at Ranko.
Since Ranko's head was still bowed, as if embarrassed or worried,
she didn't see the punch coming. She crashed backwards against the back
wall. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Take a guess! Do you think maybe it could have been because you
stole Akane from me, knocked me out, tied me up with chains, and stuffed
me in a deep well?!" Ranma ranted. "Well?! Do you?!"
Akane gasped. "Ranko, I told you not to do something like that! It
would only make things worse... and it did."
Ranko frowned. "I'm sorry, Akane. I thought it best if they
couldn't cause you any more pain before we were married."
"I'll show you pain!" Ranma screamed, and held his hand out in
front of him. A chi ball appeared between his hands.
Akane jumped between him and Ranko, holding her hands out. "No,
Ranma, don't!"
"Out of the way, Akane! I've had enough of everyone trying to keep
me from you! I was willing to share you, but life without you wouldn't
be worth living!" Ranma screamed, the chi ball building in power.
Akane smiled, causing Ranma to briefly lower his hands a bit. "I'm
glad. I feel the same way. Unfortunately, there are three of you now.
Please just accept my decision."
"If this is because of me not telling you about Ryoga's curse..."
Akane shook her head. "No... that has nothing to do with this." At
the time, she probably believed that her decision wasn't jaded by the
recent revelation of who P-chan really was.
Tears appeared at the corner of Ranma's eyes. "Then why? Just tell
me why?"
Akane glanced back at Ranko then lowered her head. "I can't."
"Then get out of my way, because I won't let you marry JUST Ranko!"
Ranma aimed his arms forward again, and formed a second lesser-powered
chi ball. Both chi balls pulsed between his hands. He wouldn't normally
even consider hurting Akane, but the pain of the situation he found
himself in had pushed him over the edge of coherent thought.
Dr. Tofu suddenly realized that Ranma was going to blast Akane with
the low-power ball to get her out of the way, so he could blast Ranko
with a full-power ball. Acting by instinct, he jumped in front of the
bride and groom. "Ranma, don't! She's pregnant!"
Silence.
Silence. Up to that point, only Akane, Ranko, and Dr. Tofu knew.
Upon hearing the news, everyone else in the dojo was too shocked to
react or even say anything. Even Soun was unusually silent, but only
because his mind insisted that Dr. Tofu had just claimed that his
daughter was punctual.
The silence lasted for several seconds until Ranma spoke.
"Pregnant?"
Soun's silence ended after Ranma spoke the dreaded word again,
breaking through the mental barriers that protected his fragile
emotions. Suddenly, Ms. Hinako found herself drenched in tears from the
crying Soun. She tried to comfort him, but was uncertain how she could
after hearing this shocking news. Then she remembered what always helped
calm her down, so she pulled out a lollipop and handed it to Soun.
Amazingly, Soun took it and found sucking it helped calm him down.
Akane pushed Dr. Tofu gently away and nodded to Ranma.
Dr. Tofu realized what he had done. "I'm sorry, Akane. I just acted
out of instinct to protect the child... I didn't mean to..."
"That's okay, Dr. Tofu. They would have found out eventually."
Ranma let the chi balls evaporate harmlessly into the air, took a
step forward, and put a trembling hand on Akane's shoulder. "Akane, why
didn't you just tell me?"
"We thought this was better, but I guess we were wrong. Can you see
now why I have to marry Ranko first?"
"No! If anything, this is all the more reason for you to marry me!
It's my child and I am not so dishonorable as my pop that I would
abandon my child!"
Genma took affront to this statement about his honor and protested.
"I never abandoned you, Ranma! Just Ukyo." His protests were ignored and
he was lucky the 'abandoned' Ukyo wasn't here to flatten his head with
her spatula.
Akane shook her head sadly. "It's not your child," she said, then
added, "Well..." She was interrupted by the loud, and long overdue,
gasps and cries of astonishment from everyone present.
Ranma shuddered suddenly and dropped to his knees. "Not... my...
child?" His mind raced, trying to comprehend he situation. "Who is the
bastard, I'll kill him. Akane, I swear I'll kill the bastard who got you
pregnant."
Akane gasped, then smirked. "Idiot... I'm not pregnant... Ranko
is."
And all hell broke loose.
Soun's mind processed the good news that his little Akane was not
pregnant, but then had to cope with the fact that somehow she was
marring a man in a woman's body who was pregnant. His mind shut down
after being unable to process this bit of news and he collapsed into Ms.
Hinako's arms.
Nabiki had already been extremely shocked when she thought Akane
was the one who was pregnant, but this news left her dazed and gasping
for breath. Even Kasumi was flustered.
Genma fainted and fell over backwards. A shocked Nodoka tried to
wake him up, while her own head spun at hearing the stunning news.
Ranma was beyond shocked. He just dropped to his knees and stared
unblinkingly ahead.
Akane expected all of these reactions, but not the gasp from behind
her.
"Pregnant? How... how can he be..."
Akane turned around and looked at Ranko in shocked amazement. A
look of concern and then of someone who was betrayed in the worse
possible way crossed her face. "Sanma?" she gasped the name, not wanting
it to be true. She looked closer at the girl sitting on the floor and
despite the fact that the woman in front of her had the pigtail hanging
from the side of her head like Ranko did, Akane realized that it was
Sanma who in fact sat there.
"I'm sorry, Akane. I just love you so much, I couldn't stand to be
without you. If I had known..." Sanma trailed off and started to cry
into her hands.
"Damn it, what did you do to Ranko?!" Akane asked, suddenly very
worried.
"She's fine. I locked her in the basement at Furinkan," Sanma said,
getting shakily to her feet. "I'm sorry."
"You will be, you bastard!" a voice called out from the back of the
dojo. Everyone turned around to look and saw the real Ranko standing in
the hole that Ranma had blasted earlier. Her clothes were torn and she
had a few scrapes and bruises.
"Ranko!" Akane called out and ran to her. She hugged Ranko
tightly, then examined her for injuries. "Are you okay? Is the baby
okay?"
Ranko frowned, then whispered to Akane, "I thought we weren't
going to tell them until..."
Akane exhaled deeply. "I'm afraid the cat's out of the bag."
Shivers went up the spine of each Ranma. "C... c... could you use
a different term, please?" Ranko asked.
Akane smiled and kissed Ranko on her cheek. "Sure."
"Who the hell is the father, Ranko? I'll kill the bastard!" Ranma
shouted.
Sanma gasped as she realized something. "Oh god... it wasn't Kuno
when they abducted us, was it?"
Ranko shook her head.
Dr. Tofu came up and placed a restraining hand on Ranma's
shoulder. "Ranma, it's a long story and I doubt you'd want to kill the
father."
A puzzled look crossed Ranma's face.
***********************************************************************
>From the personal journal of James Davidson:
September 12, 2057
"Pregnant!! Ranko was pregnant?!" I shouted excitedly and starting
flipping through my background information file on Akane's life.
"You won't find any official records. Ranko was pretty opposed to
anyone knowing about the baby, so Nabiki buried or altered most, if not
all, of the records."
I stopped looking through the records and looked at Akane. "Oh...
this is amazing. A pregnant man."
Akane smirked. "Ranko was pretty shaken by it. I guess I was too,
since I made so many mistakes after we found out."
"Mistakes? Offering to marry her was a mistake?"
"No, but excluding Ranma and Sanma was. I should have thought about
it more, but we rushed it and all hell broke lose."
"Did you talk to Doctor Higawa about it?"
Akane started. "How... how did you know about her?"
I suddenly wanted to be somewhere else. "Err... Hanaki sort of
mentioned it."
Akane sighed. "I guess I just felt it was such a personal thing
that I never thought to talk about the therapy."
"Compared to some of the intimate details you've told me about you
and the Ranmas?"
"Good point. I guess I had avoided telling people for so long, it
became a way of life not to mention my therapy sessions. And no, I
didn't talk to Doctor Higawa before making my decision. That was another
mistake on my part."
"Ranko couldn't have been that far along... you must have had
months to discuss it."
"Yes, but we were both pretty shocked by the news, so we acted on
our emotions instead of thinking things through and discussing it with
our families. I think Ranko saw the pregnancy as the final nail in the
coffin of his masculinity and didn't want anyone else to know for as
long as possible. Because of that, we really weren't able to talk the
whole problem through with our families. They were very shocked when we
suddenly announced our intention to get married that morning."
"I can imagine. How did they get the wedding together so fast
anyway?"
"Practice." Akane smiled slightly. "They already had the dress
repaired and wedding tuxedos ready for another try once I could bring
myself to commit to a four-way marriage. And the damage to the dojo from
the last one had been repaired. So really, all they had to do was call
the minister Nabiki had on retainer."
"Retainer?"
Akane sighed. "Apparently it was cheaper instead of paying him by
the actual wedding ceremony."
"I'm amazed that they wouldn't be more concerned about your
original plan to marry all three of them?"
Akane nodded. "They were. After Ranko and Sanma returned, I talked
with everyone about the decision to marry all three of them. Although
they were concerned of the problems involved with such a marriage, they
did see that it was the only way we would all be happy and eventually
accepted the idea of a four-way marriage. Too bad I couldn't make that
final leap of acceptance myself and kept putting off the final decision
about the wedding. Call it cold feet times three if you like. In the
end, the pregnancy gave me an excuse to put off the decision on the
four-way marriage that I had been unable to make up to that point."
"I see. How did Ranma and Sanma take it when you told them you were
marrying only Ranko?"
"They were very upset and argued about the choice, naturally. Not
being able to tell them about the baby really made it hard for me to get
them to understand. I don't know why I thought at the time that I could
make them understand; maybe it was the fact that they always said it was
my decision. I think they meant it, but when faced with the real
situation they couldn't handle the possibility that I was not going to
marry all three of them. In the end, I told them that it was this way or
I'd have to elope with Ranko. Both of them stormed off before I could
stop them, probably to keep themselves from attacking Ranko right then
and there. I guess their anger grew to the point where Sanma-" She
paused briefly at the memory. "-felt he had no option left but to get
Ranma and Ranko out of the way and then take Ranko's place as the
groom."
"It was hardly a good plan. The marriage wouldn't even be real if
he deceived you."
Akane nodded. "He wasn't thinking straight. His emotions were
clouding his judgement... I guess that applies to all of us at the time.
So many bad choices and decisions were made after we found out about
Ranko's pregnancy... it's a miracle that we made it through that part of
our lives without killing each other. There were times I wanted to pound
Ranma and Sanma for what they tried to do, but then I came to realize
that all the bad decisions were all a result of my decision to exclude
them. My fault." A tear appeared in her eye and slid down her cheek.
"Um... do you want to call it a day?"
Akane shook her head. "No... it's okay. That decision just led to
so many problems in the years that followed that I sometimes forget the
happy times I did have with them all."
"I'm glad you had those happy times. What I know of the events to
come, makes me wonder how you kept your sanity."
Akane smirked. "Who said I'm sane? In a world gone mad, it's the
sane ones who are the first to die."
-C- -M- -D-
After we took a break to let Akane compose herself, we continued
our interview session for that day.
"Can you tell me about how you found out she was pregnant?" This
was likely to be a major turning point in the book, just like it was in
Akane's life, so I needed to get as much information as possible.
"Sure, I was going to explain all that anyway, but I enjoy telling
that story beginning at the start of the Moko Takabisha wedding."
"Moko Takabisha wedding?"
Akane smiled. "Yes, that's what I've come to call that wedding. You
know... like a shotgun wedding when the bride is pregnant?"
I laughed. "Except it was the groom in this case."
"True. If Ranko had been born a woman, we'd have figured it out
sooner, but since he wasn't used to having a female body, he overlooked
the clues. We all did, actually."
***********************************************************************
April 7-9, 1999 - Nerima, Japan
Nodoka frowned and looked at the bra in her hands. "Ranko, is this
your bra?"
Ranko looked over and nodded.
"This is a 36D cup, Sanma uses a 36C. Isn't it too loose on you?"
"Nope. Last week when we bought them Akane said to get the smallest
size that didn't pinch. I tried some 36C bras, but they pinched me. Why
is something wrong?"
"Nope, I guess you two aren't completely identical after all,"
Nodoka said and then finished putting the laundry away.
"Well, duh. I'm much more handsome than Sanma," Ranko insisted.
-C- -M- -D-
Later, Sanma was taking a bath when Ranko walked in. "Hi, Ranko."
"Hi, Sanma. Where are Ranma and Akane?" Ranko asked, slipping her
towel off and sitting on the stool to wash up.
"Beats me. Knowing our so-called brother, he's probably necking
with her," Sanma said, having just a twinge of jealously in her
otherwise light statement. She scooped up some water and let it flow
down her face.
After Ranko had washed up, she slipped into the tub next to Sanma.
Sanma frowned as she saw Ranko get into the tub. "Ranko, have you
gained some weight?"
"Huh? No, I don't think so," Ranko replied, looking at her body.
Sanma just shrugged and returned to watching the steam rise from
the surface of the water.
-C- -M- -D-
The next day, Akane and Ranko walked through the hallway. They had
cleanup duty, so they had stayed late to clean up the classroom.
Suddenly Ranko clutched her stomach and grimaced.
Akane looked at Ranko with concern. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know. I've been feeling kind of bad for the past few days.
Maybe I've got the flu or something."
"I hope it wasn't the lunches I made today."
"I doubt you could make anything that would make me sick."
Akane smirked. "If I tried, I could."
"What, my perfect Akane? Never!" Ranko started laughing and Akane
joined in. Suddenly, Ranko clutched her mouth and retched. She ran to
the closest restroom and started heaving into a toilet bowl. Apparently,
the aforementioned lunch consisted of rice, peas, and some sort of fish.
Akane grabbed some towels, stood over Ranko, and gently patted her
on her back. When Ranko was done, Akane helped her to her feet and
handed the towels to her. "You okay?"
"Yea, but I..." Ranko stopped and dove for the bowl again.
Akane frowned. "Let's stop at Dr. Tofu's on the way back."
After Ranko had finished heaving again, she looked up. "Awww, it's
okay. Nothing I can't handle."
"I insist."
-C- -M- -D-
"How long have you felt this way?" Dr. Tofu asked, as he felt
Ranko's abdomen.
"For the past few days. It comes and goes," Ranko replied.
"Not before then?"
"Well... I did throw up a few times when we were on the run from
the Amazons in China, but I was pretty exhausted and tired then."
Dr. Tofu frowned. "When did you have your last period, Ranko?"
Ranko seemed not to understand the question. "Period?"
Dr. Tofu gulped. He had hoped that someone had explained this to
Ranko and Sanma already or he would have done it himself. "You know...
your monthly visitor, your woman pain, your..." Dr. Tofu ran though
dozens of euphemisms, only to get a confused look from Ranko. Realizing
that he'd have to put it so a man would understand, he said, "The
bleeding from your vagina?"
Ranko grimaced at Dr. Tofu's choice of words. She didn't like to be
reminded that she had one of those full time now, but she did finally
catch on to what Dr. Tofu was asking. "Oh, that. Mom told me about
that... um... I haven't gone through that yet. Thank goodness, it sounds
icky."
"I see." Dr. Tofu did some quick mental calculations. <She should
have had at least two by now. I'd better be sure before I tell her what
I think it is.> He finished his examination of her abdomen and pulled
her shirt down again. "How do your breasts feel?"
"What? I don't go feeling my own breasts!" Ranko insisted, knowing
that it wasn't exactly the truth.
"Please, Ranko, I need to know. Do they feel unusually sensitive or
swollen?"
Ranko frowned and felt one of her breasts through the fabric of her
shirt. "Um, maybe."
Dr. Tofu nodded. "Ranko, please wait here, I have to check
something."
Dr. Tofu left, leaving a confused Ranko behind. After a few
minutes, Akane poked her head in. "All done?"
"Nope."
"Does he know what's wrong?" Akane asked, sitting down at Ranko's
side. Ranko just shrugged.
After being gone for about twenty minutes, Dr. Tofu reappeared and
walked over to the bed Ranko was sitting on. "Um, Akane, can I speak to
Ranko alone?"
Both Akane and Ranko frowned. "Why?" Akane asked, growing worried.
"It's okay, she can stay. Give it to me straight, Doc, how long do
I have?" Ranko asked, joking so as not to worry Akane.
"Nine months. Well, more like six or seven months now," Dr. Tofu
replied calmly.
Ranko froze. Since she wasn't born a woman she didn't catch the
implication and assumed her joke had backfired in her face. <I hope he's
kidding, I'm too great of a martial artist to die.>
Akane, on the other hand, knew exactly what Dr. Tofu meant by that.
"What? Are you sure?"
Dr. Tofu nodded. "Yes. I checked the blood tests we took after the
incident with the Kunos. Ranko, I'm not sure how to say this, but you're
pregnant."
The room went silent as Dr. Tofu's words sank in. After a stunned
silence, Ranko screamed, "Pr... pregnant! How the hell can I be
pregnant! I'm a guy!"
"Yes, but a guy with a woman's body. You show every sign of being
two to three months pregnant and the blood tests confirmed it." He
scolded himself internally for not looking at the blood tests sooner,
but he had been very busy at the clinic recently. <I really need a nurse
or assistant around here.>
"But... we were so careful. We always used a condom..." Akane
trailed off, because she knew she had forgotten a few times in the heat
of passion.
"Akane, I doubt very much that you are the father," Dr. Tofu said,
with a slight smirk on his lips.
Akane giggled despite herself. "Of course, how silly of me."
Ranko was very agitated and jumped off the bed. "I don't buy this!
I can't be pregnant! I've only made love with Akane and if she's not..."
Ranko trailed off as a horrible thought struck her. "Oh no. I was sure
that Kuno never had a chance to do that with us... shit! He's dead!"
"Calm down, Ranko! He said two to three MONTHS pregnant. It was
only two weeks ago that the Kuno's brainwashed you all," Akane said,
wrapping Ranko in a hug to comfort her.
"I checked Sanma's tests and she isn't pregnant. I even called her.
It took me a little coaxing for her to even talk about it, but she's had
two periods already," Dr. Tofu explained.
"I should have talked to them more about this, but Nodoka said she
had already..."
Ranko had tears in her eyes when she interrupted Akane. "No...
no... no. I can't have a baby!"
Akane hugged Ranko closer and whispered to her. "It's okay, Ranko.
I'll be here to support you. You won't go through this alone." She
turned to Dr. Tofu and asked, "But... how come Ranko didn't notice
before now? You know, about missing her..."
"Akane, if you'd never had a period and had only been told about
them, would you notice when you missed one or two?" Dr. Tofu suggested.
Akane thought about this for a second and realized he was right.
Kasumi had helped her get through the shock of her first few times, but
Ranko never had a first time. How could you miss something that you had
never experienced?
"No! I'm a guy! I can't possibly have a baby!" Ranko screamed and
ran from the clinic.
Akane was too shocked at first to go after her. "Dr. Tofu... how
could this have happened?"
Dr. Tofu scratched his chin thoughtfully. "It's hard to say. The
normal way a woman gets pregnant is to have intercourse with a man. But
then Ranko isn't exactly a normal woman. It might have something to do
with her split from Ranma, but your guess is as good as mine at this
point."
Akane pondered this for a second and then turned to leave. Before
leaving the examination room, she stopped and turned back to Dr. Tofu.
"Dr. Tofu, can we not mention this to anyone else until Ranko and I
figure out what to do?"
Dr. Tofu nodded his head in agreement. "Akane, I'm not an expert in
these matters. You should have her see a obstetrician soon to make sure
the baby is healthy."
Akane nodded and ran out to find Ranko.
-C- -M- -D-
Akane found Ranko sitting on the edge of the canal. Ranko had her
shirt raised and was rubbing her belly. "What does it feel like?" Akane
asked, as she sat down next to her.
Ranko shrugged. "I don't know. Odd. My mind is filled with
conflicting emotions... I don't know what to do."
"Ranko, let's not make any snap decisions. What ever happens I'll
be here for you," Akane said, pulling Ranko into a hug.
Ranko didn't resist, but still was very tense. "I still can't
understand how I got pregnant. I may not be used to having a female
body, but I do know that you need a man and a woman to make a baby."
"Well, aren't you both?"
Ranko chuckled. "Yes, but I don't have the right equipment
anymore."
Akane hated to ask this, but she had to. "Are you sure that you
haven't had sex with a man? You can tell me, I won't think badly of
you." A horrible thought crossed her mind. "If someone forced you..."
"No!! Only with you. Only you..." Ranko trailed off.
"Well, the only other explanation I can think of is that when you
split from Ranma the magic chicken bone somehow made you pregnant or
made it possible for you to become pregnant without a man. We already
know that the magic that Cologne used wasn't exactly stable."
Ranko resisted the urge to curse Cologne since she had sacrificed
herself to save her and Sanma in the heart of the monolith. That didn't
stop her from cursing Happosai for actually using the magic chicken
bone, of course. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It would fit Dr.
Tofu's two to three month timeframe." She sighed.
"It's just a guess, but I suppose the split magic could have caused
one of your eggs to become fertilized by itself. Or maybe..." Akane
trailed off.
"Maybe what?"
"Well, it's a crazy thought, but maybe some sperm could have
passed from Ranma to you during the split."
Ranko flinched when she realized what that would mean. "That would
make Ranma the father... wouldn't it?"
Akane giggled. "Guess so. Technically."
"Why isn't Sanma pregnant too?" Ranko asked, wishing that it could
be INSTEAD of her.
"Hard to say, the second split was because the original split magic
hadn't stabilized by the time you used the Spring of Drowned Man water.
It might have only caused your own body to split and not the baby's."
Ranko plopped back onto the grass and looked up at the afternoon
sky. "I don't know what to do or think. I never even considered anything
like this happening to me."
Akane slid next to Ranko and snuggled up to the other woman. "I
know it's shocking, but we'll get through this as we always do."
"How?"
"Together."
-C- -M- -D-
Two days later, Ranma walked into the kitchen. "Have you've seen
Akane, Mom?"
Nodoka looked up from the food she was preparing. "No, Ranma, I
haven't." She saw Ranma frowned. "Is anything wrong?'
"No, I guess not. She's just been acting a little weird lately." As
Ranma walked out of the kitchen, he thought, <She's also been spending a
lot of time with Ranko over the last two days, I wonder why?>
-C- -M- -D-
Ranko and Akane walked along the canal after their appointment with
the obstetrician Dr. Tofu had recommended. "How could the baby only be
nine weeks old?" Ranko asked, rubbing her belly.
"Well, the split was three months ago, but we did miss those three
weeks while in the monolith," Akane suggested.
"I guess maybe time didn't pass for us when we were inside," Ranko
said, but still seemed to be thinking of something else.
"Or passed slower for us than it did for those outside. I think we
should tell the family tonight," Akane suggested, causing Ranko to stop
in her tracks. "What?"
Ranko looked down at her feet. "Akane, I don't want to tell them
until I decide if I want to have it."
This caused Akane to gasp. "You... you're not thinking about an
abortion, are you?"
"I don't know. I just don't think I can handle having a child."
Akane frowned. "Ranko, it's your decision, but I don't think you
should. I'll be there for you the whole way. Together we can handle
this."
"That's easy for you to say! You're not the one who has to carry
this child for seven more months!" Internally she raged as she saw the
last part of her masculinity drifting away, no ripped away. <Seven
months of reminders that I am no longer a man!>
"I had hoped to carry Ranma's child one day, which would be all of
ours. This baby may not be genetically mine, but it's a part of you.
I'll love it, like I love you." Akane wrapped her arms around the
trembling woman in front of her.
"I just don't know if I can handle it."
"The man I fell in love with would never let something defeat him."
Ranko broke away from Akane's arms. "I'm no man. Men don't become
pregnant!"
"I'd agree with you, except the man in front of me is pregnant."
Akane cocked her head and smirked.
Ranko looked up at Akane. "I'll keep it. A few extra pounds won't
kill the greatest martial artist in the world."
"That's the spirit!"
"They have never slowed you down, so why should it matter to me?"
Ranko remarked, jokingly.
"Idiot." Akane kissed Ranko gently.
-C- -M- -D-
Ranko didn't sleep well that night, so she went out to the dojo to
workout and think. She was startled to find Akane already there.
"Akane?"
"Hi, Ranko. Come sit down here," Akane said, patting a spot in
front of her.
Ranko knelt down in front of Akane. "What are you doing up this
late?'
"I've decided about my wedding."
This took Ranko by surprise, since for the past three days all she
could think about was the stupid pregnancy. "What about it?"
Akane took Ranko's hand. "Ranko, will you marry me?"
Ranko smiled. "Haven't we've done this before?"
"No... just you. The others will be upset, but they can wait. You
need my full attention right now and the child shouldn't be born out of
wedlock."
Ranko didn't know what to say. This should have made her very
happy, but a part of her insisted it wasn't fair for Ranma and Sanma.
"I... I think you should marry all three of us."
Akane shook her head. "Not now. Not like this. That marriage would
have been stressful enough, but now you need to be able to avoid stress
and concentrate on bringing a beautiful baby into the world."
"But..." Ranko made to object, but Akane silenced her.
"And I have to be able to concentrate on you. I can't do that while
working on keeping a very unusual marriage from blowing up in all our
faces." She knew that was one of the main reasons that she had been
procrastinating about the decision to marry all three of them, she knew
that it would be a challenge to keep the Ranmas from fighting for her
attention all the time. Add the attention she'd have to give Ranko and
the baby and she doubted the marriage would handle the strain.
"Well, okay," Ranko agreed, flatly.
Akane mocked being offended. "Gee, you don't have to sound so
excited about marrying me."
Ranko smiled. "I love you, Akane. Thank you." They kissed.
"Well, in the morning we can tell them about the baby and our
decision..."
Ranko interrupted Akane. "Could we keep the baby a secret for now?
Just until I get used to the idea."
Akane frowned. "I think it'd be better to tell them, otherwise they
might try to interfere with the wedding."
"I know, but I need to come to terms with this and get used to it
before I can deal with everyone's reactions. This pretty much ends my
life as a man, you know." Ranko looked into Akane's eyes and added,
"Please?"
Akane nodded. "Okay, but you'll start to show soon, so we can't
wait forever. And if it helps, I still consider you a man... this
doesn't change how I see you in my mind and heart."
***********************************************************************
April 10, 1999 - Nerima, Japan
"And you know what happened next when we told you about the
wedding," Akane finished explaining the events of the past few days to
the assembled group. The minister was in the house, while the rest of
the Tendo and Saotome family members sat in the dojo and were told of
the events of the last few days.
Dr. Tofu put his hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Do you still want to
beat up the father?"
"I thought you said I wasn't the father?" Ranma asked, still
stunned.
"Technically you may be the father by a quirk of genetics, but *I*
will be this baby's father," Akane declared.
Despite his shock at recent events, Ranma couldn't pass this one
up. "Taking that tomboy image a bit too far, aren't you?"
Akane smiled. "I meant emotionally I'll be the baby's father,
silly."
Sanma was sitting behind everyone and rubbing her belly. "Why not
me?" she muttered softly, but was overheard.
Ranko looked over. "We don't know. Our best guess is that the baby
didn't split when you split from me. You're better off... I've been
puking up all sort of odd stuff lately."
Sanma got to her feet and started screaming. "Better off? You're
marrying Akane! How can I be better off!"
Akane got to her feet and walked over to Sanma. "Sanma, I'm sorry,
but I believe this is for the best."
Sanma frowned. "Are we sure he's just not making this up to trick
you into dumping us?"
Akane gasped. "No, how could you think of such a thing? He really
is pregnant."
"Because I know how he thinks... we would all do anything to keep
you."
Akane tensed. "You all have me. I'm not dumping you... just
postponing the other weddings until the baby is born."
"You never could take that final step could you? You have never
committed to a wedding with all three of us. Now that Ranko's pregnant,
you're tossing me and Ranma away just so you can avoid that decision."
Akane flinched because deep down she knew some of what Sanma said
was true. "I'm not tossing you away! I still love you all!"
"Then marry all three of us now! If you have to spend more time
with him... no HER, fine. But don't push Ranma and me away!"
"I'm still a guy, dammit!" Ranko insisted, glaring at Sanma.
"Tell me that when you're nine months pregnant!" Sanma snapped.
"You're a woman, accept it!"
"Sanma, I wouldn't go there if I was you. You are technically a
woman too," Ranma commented, trying--and failing--to be diplomatic.
Ranko and Sanma glared at Ranma and started to form chi balls in
their hands. Acting by instinct, Ranma started to do the same, but then
let the chi energy dissipate when he realized that he couldn't attack a
pregnant woman.
Akane was speechless while this little fight developed, but finally
found her voice after the chi balls started to form. "Enough! Stop it
now!" Ranko and Sanma let their balls evaporate. Akane sighed. A part of
her wanted to say yes and marry them all. Another part saw the angry
looks between the Ranmas and could only see disaster if she married all
three now. "I... I can't do that. I'm sorry. I know you three too well.
You'd get jealous of all the attention I'll have to give Ranko and the
baby."
Sanma turned away to hide the tears that came to her eyes. "Fine!
Do what you want! MY happiness doesn't matter." She walked to the back
of the dojo, sat down against the remains of the wall, and cradled her
head in her hands.
"It does," Akane said softly, looking sadly at Sanma. She looked
over at Ranma. "Ranma?"
Ranma turned away, unable to look her in her eyes. "Everything
we've been through... I just can't take it any more. I want to marry you
now."
"I can't. I need to be there as Ranko goes through this and be able
to concentrate on her."
"I won't accept this. If it's my baby, I should be a part of this
marriage," Ranma insisted.
Akane shook her head sadly. "Ranma, I love you all. If I didn't
think that the strain of marrying you all would cause problems for the
baby, I'd marry you all right now. For the sake of the child, you and
Sanma will have to wait."
"Wait... I've waited so long."
"Some people wait longer than we've known each other to even get
engaged. I promise after the baby is born that I'll marry you and
Sanma." She looked over at Sanma and raised her voice. "Did you hear
that Sanma? I'll marry you both as soon as the baby is born."
Sanma nodded, but didn't look up.
Ranma looked into Akane's pleading eyes. "If you're asking me to
accept this... I can't. I said it was your choice, and it is. But I
think this is a mistake. I won't fight your decision any more, but I
don't know if I'll be able to handle it."
Akane smiled at Ranma. "Thank you. I will marry you both later.
Promise."
-C- -M- -D-
It took another hour for more explanations, to calm everyone down,
and clean up the dojo. The bulk of the mess from the destroyed wall had
been pushed out of the way and everyone was back in their positions.
Ranma and Sanma were sitting with their parents, but still looked
extremely unhappy at the events that were pulling Akane further and
further from their reach. Only their love for Akane was preventing them
from disrupting the wedding again.
Sanma's hair was back in its normal hairstyle, the pigtail at back.
Turns out she had tucked the old pigtail under her collar and attached a
fake pigtail to her temple.
Ranko now wore the white tuxedo that Sanma had been wearing during
her impersonation. She looked sadly at Ranma and Sanma, knowing what
they must've be feeling. Before the music started, she spoke. "Ranma and
Sanma... would you like to be my best men?" She looked at Dr. Tofu. "If
that would be okay?" Dr. Tofu nodded.
Ranma and Sanma looked up, their expressions somber and pained.
Ranma seemed to be gauging the distance to Ranko from where he sat.
"You know how easy it would be for me to blast you here and now, Ranko?"
Ranko flinched at the unexpected reply to her offer. "Yes... yes I
do."
"But then what? Akane would never forgive me if I did that, would
she?"
Sanma flinched. <Or forgive me for deceiving her earlier.>
"Probably not. I know I would do anything to be with Akane, so I
can imagine what you two are going through," Ranko said softly.
"That would make us just like all those others who tried to keep us
and Akane apart, wouldn't it?"
Ranko shook her head. "No, I guess not."
Coming to a decision, Ranma got shakily to his feet and looked down
at Sanma. "Let's do it for Akane's sake, Sanma."
Sanma shook her head no. "After I betrayed her by impersonating
Ranko? I don't deserve to be here."
"Akane doesn't think so. She loves us. Come on... it'll make her
wedding happier if we at least make an effort to support her decision,
even if we don't like it," Ranma said, holding his shaky hand out for
his sister.
Sanma finally looked up and wiped the tears out of her eyes. She
seemed about to reject the idea again, but then nodded and got to her
feet. She took Ranma's hand and walked over to Ranko's side as Dr. Tofu
sat down. She looked at Ranko sadly. "I don't like this, but I'm not
going to cause Akane any more pain if I can help it."
Ranko nodded and then stood up straight when the music started.
Ranma and Sanma stood at her side.
Kasumi came down the aisle, dropping carnation pedals again. Nabiki
followed and then the bride came down the aisle with her father. They
got halfway to the front when she noticed Ranma and Sanma by Ranko's
side. She stopped suddenly and frowned. "I said I couldn't marry all
three of you right now."
Ranko flinched. "Err... I asked them to be my best men. I hope
that's okay..."
Akane's frown turned into a smile. "Yes... I thought for a second
that there had been a coup in my absence."
Everyone smiled and chuckled at the joke. The bride resumed her
march and took her place on Ranko's arm. She looked over at Ranma and
Sanma, smiled, and mouthed a silent 'thank you'. Ranma and Sanma smiled
back, but they were still obviously upset at not being the grooms.
Akane nodded to the minister, who began the ceremony. "We are
gathered here today to join this man and this woman, in holy matrimony,"
he said, this time without hesitating over the 'man' part. "Marriage is
not to be taken lightly, obstacles must be overcome to find the one you
love and arrive at this point." Everyone looked nervously at the debris
from the back wall when he said the last sentence.
"Two hearts come here today to join into one by the strength of
their love for each other. If there is anyone present here today who
knows why these two should not be joined, then let them speak now or
forever hold their peace."
Everyone knew better than to say or react to that statement, so the
minister continued. "Ranma Saotome, do you take..."
Everyone yelled at him. "IT'S RANKO!"
The minister recoiled at the loud correction. "Err... of course.
Ranko Saotome, do you..."
Suddenly, an umbrella split the side wall, and the steel shutter
covering it, into two pieces. Two lost figures crashed through the newly
created opening. "Where on Earth are we now, Pig-boy?!" a very dirty
Ukyo asked, looking around.
"Why are you asking me?!" Ryoga replied.
"Ryoga and Ukyo?" Akane gasped.
"Where have you two been?" Ranma asked.
Ukyo looked up and saw that she was in the Tendo's dojo. "Don't
ask... even with me watching where we're going, Pig-boy still gets us
lost."
"Sorry, Ukyo," Ryoga muttered.
"You should be! Geeze," Ukyo said, as she dusted herself off. She
looked up and then suddenly realized what was happening. "Oh no, did we
interrupt your wedding?" A part of her was sorry for interrupting and
part of her was mad that they didn't invite her. Of course, they'd been
lost since their first dinner date ended up with them in Kyoto.
Akane exhaled loudly. "Yes, but we're getting used to it."
The Ranmas were glad she was taking the latest interruption so
well. "Yo, Ryoga, join my group of best men," Ranko said, and gestured
to the other two Ranmas.
"Best men? You're not marrying all three Ranmas?" Ukyo asked, very
shocked.
Akane shook her head. "No, it's a long story..."
-C- -M- -D-
"Pregnant!" Ryoga and Ukyo exclaimed in unison.
Ryoga jumped to his feet and swung his umbrella at Ranma's head.
"How dare you do that with yourself. You sick and twisted pervert!"
Ranma ducked under the swing and jabbed Ryoga in the stomach. "Cut
it out, jerk! I'm not really the father!"
Ukyo followed with a swing of her giant spatula and bashed Ranma
over the head. "Don't hit my piggy!"
"Um, Ukyo... could you find something else to call me?" Ryoga asked
awkwardly.
Ukyo smiled and nodded her agreement.
"Ranma's not the father, I am!" Akane yelled.
Ukyo and Ryoga's faces went blank and their umbrella and spatula
clattered to the floor. Ryoga got his voice back first. "You... you're a
man?"
"No, she's not! She's the world's most beautiful woman!" Sanma
blurted, trying to make up for her earlier deception.
"Damn right she is," Ranko added.
Ranma just lay still, since he was still dazed from Ukyo's blow.
"I meant... that I'm going to be assuming the role of the father
for the baby. Genetically, it probably is Ranma's child," Akane
explained.
"So, it is Ranma's!" Ryoga bellowed, and kicked Ranma in the gut.
Ranma slid across the dojo's floor, crashed into the growing pile of
debris, and was buried under it.
"As far as we can tell, the baby was conceived when Ranma and Ranko
split. So, Ranma didn't do anything disgusting with Ranko," Akane tried
to explain before Ryoga beat up Ranma again.
"Yeah, so quit beating up our brother!" Ranko shouted at Ryoga.
Suddenly the pile shifted and a chunk of the debris flew towards
Ryoga. Ryoga tried to dodge it, but couldn't in time and he was sent
crashing through the wall, creating a sizable hole as he did so. Ukyo
ran out to check on him.
"Next person to fight doesn't get to be a best man or a
bridesmaid!" Akane shouted, then added, "Or the groom! Got it?!" She
glared at everyone present. Inside she trembled at the second
interruption of the day. <You can do it, Akane... you will get married
today.>
-C- -M- -D-
Ukyo, who now had a beautiful kimono on, waited beside Akane
outside the dojo. They were standing next to the ever-increasing pile of
debris from the dojo walls. "Are you sure you're just going to marry
Ranko?"
Akane nodded. "I need to be there for her. I don't think I can get
her through this pregnancy and keep a four-way marriage from blowing up
in my face." She was starting to get sick of explaining this to
everyone, since every time she did, it sounded more and more to her that
it was just an excuse to avoid the bigger question of marrying all three
Ranmas. Like she had many times in the past day, she tried to ignore the
nagging feeling that she was making a big mistake.
Ukyo gave Akane a quick hug. "Okay, I guess I understand."
As they waited for the music to start, Akane made small talk. "So
where have you and Ryoga been?"
"Guess."
"Lost, huh?" Akane replied.
Ukyo nodded. "Ended up in Kyoto for our dinner instead of at Mon
Canard. I was being careful about not getting lost, but somehow he has a
way of getting lost between blinks."
Akane snickered. "You two look like you are closer now."
Ukyo shrugged. "I guess. I'm still not sure if it's love, but it's
fun to be with him at least. He's also a great kisser."
"Ooooooooo, hot stuff," Nabiki said, walking out the door. Or where
the door used to be, there was only a big hole there now.
Ukyo blushed. "By the way, Nabiki, is this marriage even legal? I
mean between two women and all?"
"Technically? No. I have arranged for some paperwork and licenses
that the bureaucrats should never be able to figure out. I had actually
lined this minister up when there was a chance Akane was going to marry
all three of them, so he's pretty understanding about the situation. He
does a lot of lesbian marriages, so it's no big deal for him." Before
Akane could object, Nabiki added, "Not that this is one, but you know
what I mean."
Akane nodded, since she had already heard this explanation several
times. But the 'L' word still made her uncomfortable.
Nabiki looked back inside the dojo to check if everything was
ready. "We're ready. Kasumi goes first, then me, Ukyo, and finally the
bride."
Akane clenched her fist in determination. "All right! Let's do
this. NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS!"
Everyone nodded. When the music started, Kasumi began her walk and
the others followed. Just before entering the dojo, Akane looked around
nervously for any sign of problems.
Akane entered the dojo and saw her groom in the front. Ranma,
Sanma, Ryoga, and Dr. Tofu were all lined up as the best men. Ranko had
figured that once Ryoga joined the line of best men, Dr. Tofu might as
well be one again. The more the merrier, not that Ranma and Sanma were
that merry at that moment.
Akane's father didn't escort her down the aisle this time because
he was still blubbering into Ms. Hinako's chest and Akane didn't want to
wait for his most recent crying fit to stop.
This time, Akane didn't even get to the front of the dojo before
the interruption. "How foul that I should not be the groom on this holy
occasion, but for you to marry such as that, is the ultimate travesty of
my love." Everyone turned around and saw Kuno standing in the hole
formerly known as the door. He was in a straightjacket, with his arms
still tied tightly across his chest.
"Kuno!"
"Moko Takabisha!"
"Moko Takabisha!"
"Moko Takabisha!"
"Aikizuna Mokoutsu!"
"Shishi Houkou Dan!"
Almost simultaneously, a series of chi balls from the Ranmas, a
wavy red beam of energy from Akane, and a strong beam of energy from
Ryoga flew across the dojo and hit Kuno with pinpoint accuracy. Kuno was
sent soaring up and through the roof, unfortunately taking a large chunk
of it with him in the process. He was seen arcing across the sky, smoke
from his burning hair and clothes trailing behind him.
Everyone had acted so fast, that they stared at the diminishing
figure silently for several seconds before reacting. They all breathed a
sigh of relief and looked around to make sure everyone was okay.
"I'll have to check up on the security at that mental hospital they
were sent to," Nabiki remarked, making a note in her organizer.
"Amateurs."
Some might say it was overdue, but the weight of the repeated
failed weddings, both in the past and that day, finally pushed Akane
over the edge. "Okay, marry us now!" Akane screamed at the minister, who
recoiled in terror from the angry battle aura that surrounded the bride.
-C- -M- -D-
Kuno had a nice flight over Nerima and crash-landed into the
incinerator at the mental hospital. What hair he did have left on his
body was quickly burned away, along with his clothes.
Kuno ran screaming from the incinerator and down the halls of the
hospital. He was tackled by several big orderlies and restrained.
"Unhand me you foul peasants! No one such as you should touch the
great Blue Thunder of Pleasant Hill Hospital!"
The doctor on duty made some notations in Kuno's charts. Most of
them had to do with delusions of grandeur, hairless fetish, and sexual
dysfunction.
-C- -M- -D-
"Come on! Get the ceremony going again!" Akane shouted again.
Everyone looked at Akane, concerned at the obvious anger and rage
in her voice.
"Akane, calm down. I think..." Nodoka said softly and tried to
approach Akane.
Akane waved everyone away. "No! Don't touch me! Just marry us
already and I'll live happily ever after!" she screamed, then recoiled
at the sound of her own voice. Seeming to hear the anger in her voice
for the first time, she collapsed to her knees and began to cry.
The Ranmas all looked at each other, then without a word they knelt
down and all wrapped their arms around Akane.
"It'll be okay, Akane. You will marry Ranko today and be the most
beautiful bride in the world," Sanma said, fighting back her own despair
for Akane's sake.
"Come on, Akane, stand up and wipe your eyes off. Can't give up
before the next interruption, can you?" Ranma said, and laughed.
Expanding on Ranma's attempt to lighten the mood, Ranko said, "Yes,
a wedding without a few interruptions would be boring."
Akane looked up and looked at the three people she loved more than
life itself. "Idiots." She wiped the tears out of her eyes.
"The world's greatest idiots!" Sanma declared. She held out her
hand to help Akane up. Although it was killing her inside, she knew
Akane's happiness came first and the only thing that Sanma could see at
that moment that would make Akane happy was to marry at least one of
them. As much as Sanma hated to admit it to herself, the pregnancy did
make Ranko the obvious choice.
"Akane, do it for the baby's sake," Ranma said, coming to the same
conclusions as Sanma did. He offered his hand to Akane as well.
Akane looked up, jumped into the arms of all three Ranmas, and
started crying. "I love you all." As she held the hug, Akane noticed
that Ranma and Sanma were extremely tense, even considering recent
events. That thought drifted away before she could fully analyze it.
Everyone in the dojo relaxed. While Akane was still hugging the
Ranmas, everyone else ran around cleaning up the dojo to prepare it for
a fourth wedding attempt of the day, a record even for Akane. After all
the previous postponements and problems, no one was willing to wait for
the dojo to be repaired before trying again.
The worst of the mess was moved out of the way and the chairs put
back in place. The Minister stood in front, the three bridesmaids and
four best men on either side of him. The groom's father and mother stood
behind Ranko.
Instead of walking down the aisle, which Akane was getting really
sick of doing, Akane just stood with her father by Ranko's side. Of
course, since the place on the floor where the aisle used to be was now
a gaping hole, this made the decision to forgo the walk down the aisle
even more understandable.
"Ranko, I give you my daughter. Please take good care of her," Soun
said, without bursting into tears. He placed her hand in Ranko's and sat
down with Ms. Hinako.
"Akane, I give you my precious daughter," Genma began. Ranko glared
at him, so Genma corrected himself. "I give you my ungrateful son.
Please take care of him and my other son's illegitimate child."
"It's not really my baby, you bastard!" Ranma shouted and pounded
his father on the head.
Akane chuckled at the exchange, while Nodoka dragged her dazed
husband to his seat.
Akane looked at Ranko and smiled sweetly. "I love you all," she
said.
All three Ranmas replied, "We know."
Akane nodded to the minister, who began the ceremony. Again. "We
are gathered here today to join this man and this woman, in holy
matrimony. Marriage is not to be taken lightly, obstacles must be
overcome..."
The minister was interrupted, again, by a voice from the back of
the dojo. "Ranma!"
Although used to it, they all snapped their heads around in
surprise and looked for the source of the voice. Various hands came up,
preparing to blast the latest intruder. They were all amazed to see a
woman they didn't know standing in the back of the dojo. She was about
Akane's height, wore a simple dress, and with shoulder length black
hair, which had a red ribbon tied in it. She started to walk calmly
around the debris towards the front of the dojo.
Not wanting to blast her before knowing who she was and why she
was here, everyone who was forming chi attacks stopped, but remained
cautious. She may not look aggressive, but they knew that looks could be
deceiving.
"That's far enough!" Ranko said, pulling Akane behind her. Ranma
slipped in ahead of Ranko to protect them both.
"Yeah! Who are you?!" Sanma asked, taking the forward position in
the human barricade.
"My name is Yukiko," the woman said calmly, but with an edge to her
voice that made it seem like she was upset.
"Why are you interrupting my wedding?" Akane asked, scowling.
"Wedding? Don't care about the wedding," Yukiko said, shaking her
head. "Please let me talk to my husband."
Everyone looked around confused. Finally, Nodoka spoke. "Who's your
husband, dear?"
"Ranma Saotome," Yukiko calmly said.
Ranma's jaw dropped to the floor, along with everyone else's.
"Hus... band?" Ranma stuttered.
After the initial shock had worn off, everyone looked at Ranma.
"Ranma! How dare you be married and not say anything!" Akane screamed.
"It's not true! I swear," Ranma insisted, waving his hands in front
of him.
"Look, Miss. I don't know who you are, but Ranma is not your
husband!" Soun declared.
"Right! I'm not married to you!" Ranma declared.
"Yes, you are. For three years!" Yukiko insisted, holding up three
fingers.
"Three years? That... that means she's married to all three of
you!" Akane said, glaring at all three Ranmas.
"It's not true!"
"I've never seen her before in my life!"
"No way, no way, no way!"
The woman seemed to be confused. "Don't know these girls... my
husband is Ranma." She pointed directly at the male Ranma.
Ranko pushed Ranma forward. "Here you go. You two be happy now."
"Hey! Cut that out! I'm not her husband!" Ranma yelled.
"Yes, you are," Yukiko calmly stated.
"Genma, did you do something stupid again?" Nodoka asked her
husband, who had been backing away.
Whether out of actual guilt or just out of habit, Genma panicked
and jumped across the dojo. He grabbed a fire bucket and poured the cold
water over himself. In a heartbeat, he transformed into a panda.
Unfortunately, the cold water splashed the young woman as well.
Before everyone's startled eyes, the woman shrank and transformed into a
small white cat with a red ribbon tied around its neck.
"Sham...."
"...poo?"
The little cat shook the water out of its hair and meowed softly.
"Cat!" all three Ranmas yelled and crashed through the nearest wall
in their panicked attempt to flee from the cat. Since this almost
undamaged wall had been the only thing keeping the remains of the dojo
together, the roof collapsed and buried everyone within under the
debris.
***********************************************************************
>From the personal journal of James Davidson:
September 12, 2057
"Shampoo survived the fall from that building?" I asked, amazed
that I had never uncovered this information before.
"Yes, she lived. We were very shocked when she showed up at the
wedding," Akane said.
"I can imagine, since it's shocking to me now. Why didn't you
mention this to me before?" I asked, although I knew the answer already.
Akane liked to reveal certain things to me in her own time. I really
hated that particular habit of hers.
"And spoil her reappearance?" Akane smirked at me, proving that she
enjoyed teasing me with these revelations.
A flood of questions popped into my head and starting spilling out
of my mouth. "So... how did she survive? Where was she all that time?
What about..."
Akane interrupted me. "I think I need to introduce you to someone
first, who will be able to answer these questions a bit better than I
can."
"Okay."
Akane addressed the Compound systems. "Shampoo, can you join me
over in my house?"
A few seconds later a female voice replied. "Sure. I'll be right
over."
Questions raced through my mind as we waited for her to arrive.
Finally, a tall woman with long black hair, obviously dyed due to the
woman's age, walked in. She also had the red highlight in her hair that
marked her as an active member of the Task Force. Even with the wrinkles
she did have, this woman did not look to be seventy years old.
"Shampoo, this is Mr. Davidson," Akane introduced her to me.
"Ah, the man doing the book and who stole Hanaki from us. Nice to
meet you, Mr. Davidson," the woman said, bowing.
I returned the bow. "Nice to meet you too. I'm amazed at how well
you Amazons age." I meant it as a compliment, but she flinched. "Err...
didn't mean to insult you. For a woman of seventy-seven, you look very
beautiful."
"Yes, I would. But I'm only fifty-six," she replied.
Well, she did look like she was about that age, but that couldn't
be right. "But..."
"James, this is Shampoo, Yukiko's daughter," Akane explained.
"Oh, so she kept using Yukiko as her name?" I asked.
Both women nodded.
"Well, then you look very young for a fifty-six-year-old."
"Thank you. My name is actually Shashiki," the woman said, glancing
at Akane. "Shampoo is sort of a nickname I've earned around here from
the more... shall we say... sadistic family members."
Akane feigned innocence.
"Wash your hair a lot?" I asked, trying to be funny.
"Huh?" Shampoo frowned.
"Shampoo... it's an English word for hair soap." I gulped, as it
looked like I put my foot in my mouth again.
"Really? I never knew that," Shashiki said, but then started
laughing. Akane joined in.
"Is there a sign that says 'tease me' on my back?" I asked,
wondering why everyone around here loved to tease me so mercilessly.
"No, of course not. We just like playing with young men's minds."
I sighed in resignation. It would be a few hours before I realized
where my joke had gone awry; Japanese and English both use the word
shampoo in describing hair soap. Maybe I need to brush up on my Japanese
some more.
[End - Chapter 15]
Coming soon: Chapter 16: A Cat's Life, Yukiko's Story
=======================================================================
The real author's (Jim Lazar) notes/ramblings:
Oh what a twisted my mind I have. To supposedly kill Shampoo and then
leave her out of the picture until she can ruin another wedding. There
is a method to my madness, I'm just not sure what it is or if I should
be committed for it.
Exactly how she survived and what she has been doing for the past eight
months that led her to show up at the dojo will be revealed in the next
chapter.
As for the pregnancy, well what can I say? It was tricky to have the
other events happen before Ranko found out, but I believe the sequence
of events is logical when you consider Ranko isn't used to having a
woman's body full time.
Also, -ku is a suffix used to indicate a ward (a town or section of a
larger city, Tokyo in this case). So, Nerima ward would be Nerima-ku and
thus the suggested 'Tendo-ku'. I normally don't use Japanese terms and
suffixes, but in this case, I felt it sounded better and the meaning was
fairly clear to the reader (I hope).
I'd like to thank my pre-readers David Johnston, EBJ, Sniper, and
Jonathan Ng for helping me find and fix problems with this story. C&C
given from FFML members Douglas MacDougall, Lathrop Preston, Michael A.
Chase, Mike Rever, and Bert Miller was also helpful in fine tuning this
story. Thank you all. Of course in the end, any mistakes and botched
characters are my fault.
Revision 0.0 - Rough draft (January 5, 1999)
Revision 0.3 - Pre-reader draft (March 29, 1999)
Revision 0.4 - FFML draft (April 11, 1999)
Revision 0.5 - Second FFML draft (April 22, 1999)
Revision 1.0 - Final version (May 1, 1999)
-=-
Jim Lazar
E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
-=-
"Unit 01, Angel at eleven o'clock."
"But it's only seven o'clock," Shinji quipped.
The computer-controlled voice didn't find Shinji's joke funny, so the
AI program inserted ten Angels around Shinji's Unit 01. It didn't take
long for his Eva to be reduced to a pile of scrap metal and flesh.
-=-
Excerpt from Garden of EVA 0:3