Shinji the Purge Raizah
of Izumi Maki Fan Club, Team Yagami,
Rolento's Evil Mission, and Mobile Otaku Band.
tyree3@pacbell.net
This fanfic starts at the end of the last Evangelion movie, but it'll play like episode
26 of the TV series. It's a reestablishment of sorts...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
The Third Impact has happened. But the Human Complementation Project is a
failure. All living life has been wiped out of existence.
Shinji: (Sobbing...)
Asuka: I think I'm gonna be sick.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Deep in another part of the galaxy, the Great Intergalactic Conference is being held.
GIC-11 Just as I deducted. Instead of the humans using our "gifts" to take
another step up the evolutionary ladder, they destroyed themselves
with them. Your "science project" is a failure, Doctor.
GIC-G25 My apologies, High-Counselors. But when I first met one of the
beings on that planet, I figured that...
GIC-07 FIGURED??!! How can such beings of low intelligence even fathom
the possibilities, or the sheer power, of Lady Tokemi's children?!
GIC-05 Don't be so angry at them. The Earthlings are at "that" stage. We
seem to have given our "presents" to them at the wrong time.
GIC-06 The fact of the matter is that we're unable to take the Earthlings into
our intergalactic order if their souls our floating around in space.
GIC-08 Even worse! Most of them have a strong belief in a place they call
"Heaven!" By the time we make it over there...!
GIC-02 I suppose that giving our "presents" to them, especially at "that" stage,
was a terrible mistake. We have no other choice but to destroy them.
High Counselor-01?
GIC-01 I understand. But we will take a vote of it after our rest-break. Those
with objections can give them to me afterwards. Dismissed.
GIC-01 Welcome back. The results are in: Those in favor of destroying our
"presents" are at 81%. The conference will take our written apologies
to Lady Tokemi after the mistake has been corrected. The handling of
such a task will be left to High Counselor-02, Queen Aeka Jurai. We
wish you the most successful of your undertaking.
GIC-02 Yes, High Counselor.
-=**=-
Ryoko: So if I take out the two Tokemi children, my sentence will be cleared.
Right?
Aeka: (Sickened.) Unfortunately for the trillions on Jurai, that would be the
case.
Ryoko: But this ain't exactly what I wanna do! Killing children and all...
Aeka: And then you're suppose to tell me that what the Earthlings did to
themselves was better! Huh?! What if Lord Tenchi was still on that
planet!
Ryoko: ALRIGHT!! ALRIGHT!! I get the picture! I'm going. Hey. Is
Tenchi coming over to visit again?
Aeka: I heard from his wives Kiyone and Mihoshi saying that they're all
coming over for an anniversary party. But if word ever gotten to him
that the Earthlings were...
Ryoko: Don't worry about it! The last thing I wanna hear is my Tenchi-kuns
crying.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
18 years back into the past, the UN has found some sort of entity in Antarctica.
Misato: Daddy? What's that?
Katsuragi: Why, that's what we're here to find out, little lady. We got scientist up
here that'll study this creature and find out where it came from.
Scientist: Sir! We got a report. It's from SEELE.
Katsuragi: SEELE, huh? What do they have to say about this thing over there?
Scientist: Well, they claim that this entity has the same makings of the entity they
have over in Japan. They've named it Adam, Sir.
Katsuragi: Huh? And what's the one they have over there named?
Scientist: Uhhh... I believed it's named Lillith, Sir.
Katsuragi: Oh-boy! We've found some new type of lifeform and already the old
guys start giving it "religious pet names!"
Ryoko: I see... Well then... Let me take this thing off all of your shoulders
then...
-=**=-
Naoko: (Screaming her head off!)
Gendo: What, Ms. Akagi?! What is it?!
Naoko: It's horrible! It's simply horrible!!
Yui: What is it? Let me see. (Pause.) OH MY GOD!!
Naoko: The UN stationed in Antarctica! Totally wiped out! No survivors
what-so-ever!
Gendo: And the polar ice caps?
Naoko: FORGET THE DAMN POLAR ICE CAPS!! Everyone was killed
during the explosion! That entity was some type of timebomb waiting
to happen! Do you know what that means?!
Yui: Gee, Naoko. What does that mean?
Naoko: That creature! Over there! L- Lillith! How do you know that it won't
self-destruct over our heads as well?!
Gendo: You shouldn't worry, my dear. Adam's explosion was caused by
some person of unknown whereabouts. You could've listened to the
black box.
Yui: Ms. Kitty is so uptight about things, isn't she?
Naoko: And why are you a ray of sunshine all of the damn sudden?!
Yui: Because Mr. Rokubungi and I are planning on getting married.
Gendo: Yui. That's suppose to be a secret.
Naoko: Well, I got news for you as well: Mr. Rokubungi has been screwing
me behind your back ever since these experiments have started!
Yui: (TWITCH!!) Gendo...
Gendo: That... Was also suppose to be a secret...
Ryoko: Hello-o! I just can't help but to notice your conversation and... It be
better off if you three had a polygomy thing going on.
Yui/Naoko: AAAAAHHH!!! NO!
Gendo: Who- Who the hell are you?! How did you get pass such well-armed
security?!
Ryoko: Hmph. I had a harder time getting through social security.
Gendo: You- You're one of the so-called "Angels," right?! You're here to
take back Adam, and then Lillith! Am I right?!
Ryoko: You know, for a future supreme commander you're not very open
minded. The actual name for these entities are...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tokemi: Are you all right, my child?
Shinji: Huh? What just happened?! W- What happened to this world?!
Where's Asuka?!
Tokemi: The one you called Asuka was never there. You created her out of
your frustration and stress. As for this world... well...
Shinji: You mean to tell me that Asuka, the Asuka that was with me, was just
my imagination?! That's not true! GIVE ME BACK MY Aaass....
My... A... Who are you?
Tokemi: I am Lady Tokemi, the Highest Priestess in the center of the universe.
Shinji: A... High Priestess? Like a God? Or a Goddess?
Tokemi: Humans create a God in order to have faith; to have a "predestination."
I am but a watcher who witnesses the trials and tribulations of all
beings in the galaxies. I'm more of a President to you than a Goddess.
Shinji: Please... Tell me... What's going on?
Tokemi: We of the Great Intergalactic Conference wanted you Earthling to join
in our great cause of "universal beinghood." But it seems that our
messengers were never able to pass the word along to you so... It is
with my deepest apologies that I must destroy the messengers, my
children, and return everyone's lives back to normal.
Shinji: But... Where am I? Why do I feel so warm? What's happening to
me?
Tokemi: You would've been the product of Gendo Rokubungi and Yui Ikari; a
son they would've, and should've, treasured. But alas, I cannot give
them such luxury.
Shinji: I'm not... Their child anymore?!
Tokemi: Your father is a sick man, a man who's been given enough power to
pull off his sick deeds. Your mother, a great scientist, wasn't
intelligent enough to see through his sick plans; she payed her ultimate
price for her loyalty towards him.
Shinji: And... What'll happen to me? What'll be come of all my friends?
Tokemi: You will be born again. You will not become Shinji Ikari but
somebody else. I have taken the extra percaution of being conceived
by parents who will love you and cherish you as a child. But from
then on, you will be on your own.
Shinji: My life... My whole life...
Tokemi: A life without Eva. A life where you will not become a pawn, but a
human being. A life where you, the author of your own
autobiography, make the decisions.
Shinji: I'm... I'm afraid... This new world... The new world I'm going to
enter... Is kinda scary. I wonder... I wonder who my new parents
will be like... Mother... Father...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A 4-year-old child is standing on a sidewalk during a sunny day...
Shinji: Father...?
Rolento: You, my son! I shall endow upon you the great skill of a mercenary!
Shinji: Huh?
Rolento: Do not take means into hand. Attack without means. A good soldier
must be able to survive at all times. If you are caught by the enemy
you should never think it's over. You must win. Skill! Strength!
Discipline!
Shinji: Skill... strength... discipline...
Corvette: [No-no, pretty boy.]
Shinji: Mother.
Corvette: The world is too harsh to be thinking about killing and war. You must
be able to love. Or else you won't be able to be a good role-model to
the children of this world. I want you to make as many friends as
possible; sharing your love, and then making love to the one who's
most deserving. [It's love. Love.]
Shinji: [Love.]
-=**=-
Four years later...
Rolento: What the hell are you doing?! Why are you teaching this boy how to
be so weak?!
Corvette: Well it's better than the things _you_ teach him! All these... battle
tactics and killing techniques!
Shinji: Don't fight...
Corvette: I don't wanna see my son carrying a weapon to his school and
committing a massacre!
Rolento: And I refuse to find out that he turned into a faggot and then gets
murdered by some punks on the street!
Shinji: Please... Don't fight...
Rolento: Maybe I'll have to teach you who wears the pants in this family!
Huh?!
Corvette: Are you gonna beat me up? Domestic violence, Rolento?
Shinji: STOP IT!!
Half a year later...
Rolento: I refuse to life with your mother anymore. You'll have to make a
choice.
Corvette: You must choose between the two of us, my son.
Shinji: I have to choose?
Rolento: Yes. You can either come with me and be as strong as I...
Corvette: Or you can live a normal life with me and be happy.
Shinji: ........
Corvette: Love or conflict, my son.
Rolento: There can be no middle ground.
Shinji: ......You're both wrong.
Corvette: [Excuse me?]
Rolento: What was that, soldier?!
Shinji: I see that you both love me, and want me to follow the paths you layed
out for me. But you're both in your extremities; I wouldn't survive
anywhere but your worlds.
"Father has a strong sence of patriotism, so he must be in deep love with the
freedom of this country. My mom is in love with everyone she comes in contact
with, but she also learned how to defend herself againts those who would do her
harm. That's it. The "Yin and Yang," darkness and light, goodness and evil, the
water and the rock. I'll be both and neither, being human. I am... "
Roulette Schugerg-Hyers
* * * * * * * * * * * *
2026, New Los Angeles, South California. A group of terrorists(?) have
taken over KFOX, a popular television station known for it's "breaking all the rules
the nasty FCC has placed." The LAPD have already surrounded the building...
Terror1: (Holding a news reporter hostage.) And if any of you pig-types come
any closer to us, these sausages are gonna get it! (Laughs maniacally.)
Ross: (Sweatdropping...) Damn terrorists...
A motorcyclist makes its way down through traffic...
As the Chief Ross Syllabus exasperates over said terrorists' lack if good
English skills, he turns around to find Leiutenant Roulette Schugerg-Hyers coming
this way.
Roulette: Evening, Chief!
Ross: Around 4:35 a group of five heavily-armed men made their way
through the back entrance of the building. They've killed most of the
security guards, took turns raping the star news caster, and we can't
seem to enter the building because of the fact that this building is so
terribly built.
Roulette: Earthquake protection laws. Obviously the politicians didn't put much
thought about hostile take-overs...
Armitage: SIRS!! Sirs! The terrorists are broadcasting via satellite! They wanna
speak to us!
Ross: Patch me through!
Terror2: We are the HAWX! Sole members of the Militian Liberation Front!
We have taken this television station to make an example of it...!
Chris: The one thing I don't understand. Places like this are suppose to be
heavily guarded. How come these wackoes just got in so easily?
Natsumi: Because one of them happened to work part-time as a cameraman.
Obviously he had a good look around and told his friends.
Chris: Well I'm be sent non-stop to Hades's and placed as supporting
character in "Cow & Chicken!"
The motorcyclist soon gets off of the highway and heads towards its
destination.
Terror2: ...And with that, we shall make our demands!
Roulette: Money? An escape vehicle? Rewrite of documents?
Terror2: Famous country singer and actress Julie Seville! Must do a bungie-jump! From a helecopter! In public! Totally, and in sheer honesty!
BUTT NEKKID!!
Everyone within earshot does a facevault so hard that it nearly causes the
"Umpteenth LA Earthquake."
Roulette: Amateurs!
Ross: (Grabbing bullhorn.) LISTEN, YOU ILL-TONGUED, PERVERTED,
MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR HUMAN FLESH!!!
Roulette: (On a bullhorn as well.) We'll meet your demands! (Chief Ross
almost cracks like glass.) Give us two hours! If the hostages are
released, safe and sound mind you, then Ms. Seville will do her bungie
jump..! Naked!
Terror3: Not so fast, piggy-pig pig! We ain't that stupid you know! We'll pull
the pin on this non-nuke bomb we have here! We don't want any
tricks from you! We'll give you one hour!
Roulette: One hour?
Terror1: We know she works for this studio! We also know that she lives
nearby in her nice, secured home! Don't mess with us!
Roulette: Okay!
Ross: (Grabs the leiutenant by the collar.) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING??!!
Roulette: Obviously these guys are just thrill-seakers. First we'll let them have
their fun. And then, when we catch them slipping, we'll make them
pay their dues.
Ross: (Releases his collar.) Hmph! Any more caution out of you and we'll
both be outta work!
Roulette: The last thing I need is a bodycount. I need someone to...
Roulette suddenly hears the sound of a motorcycle in the far distance. He
turns his head a bit to see farther down the road, pass all of the police vehicles in
the way of his eyesight... Yet he doesn't see any motorcycle from beyond that
point.
Ross: Hey! What's up with you now?!
Roulette: It's like... A bad premonition of sorts... Like something terrible is
gonna happen. (Picks up radio.) Christler!
Christler: (One of the SWAT snipers from on top of a building.) What is thou
wish, Leiutenant?
Roulette: Look to see if there's any motorcyclist around. If you find one, report
this to the SWAT officers so they can have the person removed
immediately.
Christler: You're expecting bad company, are you? The all-seeing eyes will find
said troublemaker for you, my Leiutenant.
Meanwhile, inside the TV station, signs of violence and havoc can be seen.
Everyone is either tied up or dead already, and the star news reporter is slowly
losing her mind after being raped several times in two hours.
Terror5: Yo, I don't think they'll do this on time, man.
Terror4: I don't care, dude! I shagged one of the most bodacious women in
Los Angeles! I'm happy do die anytime!
Terror2: (Hits the first terrorist over the head.) What's this shit about sausages,
fool?! You're trying to make us look bad?!
??????: Not as bad as you already are, mind you!
Surprised, the terrorists look all around to see where the voice came from,
now being on a hair trigger. But just then, there's a smash through the top window,
and a figure all dressed in black, with a heavy machine gun on her side, plans to
dish out some justice.
The TV station goes up in smoke, taking the lives of whoever was still in
there alive. Chief Syllabus was bewildered to the point of quitting, while
Leiutenant Schugerg-Hyers just stood there and sighed. Soon, everyone out front
was treated to the sight of the black vigilante as she tosses terrorist out of the
burning building one by one. She's then treated with a look of disgust from
everyone in view.
Roulette: Damn you... Black Widow...!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Maya: Is this better?
Roulette: It's a little better. Though it's a world without Angels or Eva, there's
still a lot of dangers out there.
Maya: But you can handle those dangers. We are the monsters plaguing the
poor population, and yet we can also protect the population from these
monsters.
Roulette: And what of those aliens? When will we ever join that Great
Intergalactic Conference?
Maya: When we matured enough. When our minds become open enough to
understand that we're not alone in this universe. We're still in the
caterpillar stage, no matter how popular the Star Wars series is.
Roulette: Even so... The Captain Tylor series, Tenchi Muyo, even the Star Wars
and Star Trek shows. They won't make a hell of beans of the whole
galaxy doesn't take the Earthlings seriously.
Maya: Oh, they take you seriously. It's just a matter of finding a better
representative from this planet. Crazed scientists and intimidating
dictators aren't really popular among the heirarchies. Though, they are
planning on looking into the otaku section of the planet, however
small it may be...
Roulette: So there is hope.
Maya: When your mind's as open as the endless space that surrounds you...
There's always hope.
Roulette: Thank you. And thank you for making me a man.
Maya: The second part you did yourself! All I did was lay there and did
whatever you want!
Roulette: And yet, I'm able to continue on living...
MAYA KILGORE
1997 - 2026
Roulette, letting the dark day's wind blow through his orange hair, places a
bouquet of roses down on her grave. Shedding his last tears and giving out his last
praises; Roulette Schugerg-Hyers, leiutenant of the infamous LAPD, turns around
and heads toward his car.
["Life is... Very dangerous, you know..."]
The End(?)
* * * * * * * * * * * *
All of the characters hail from their respective shows and are owned by their
respective companies.
Chris Tucker and Natsumi Tsukinojo are a play at the movie "Rush Hour."
What if Mr. Tucker was so bad a cop that he gets "transfered" to Bokuto Police
Department?