Please send feedback to me. mbsilvana@yahoo.com
I think I�m crazy for attempting to post this....
please be gentle with my pseudo-artistic soul...
Constructive criticism is welcome, but flames aren�t. 
 This is my first Ranma story- somehow, another one
got posted first.... (thanks Rose!  :-) )
If you don't have a sense of humor, don't read this. 
You'll be saving yourself the trouble.

Description:   Ranma and crew battle an omnipotent
narrator- and remember, Ranma never loses the
important battles....

Prologue
	�What a haul! What a haul!� the old man gleefully
exclaimed as he made impossible bounds across the
roofs of Nerima.  �My silky darlings!�
	�Wait right there, old man!� exclaimed a beautiful
red-head.   She stomped down on the little troll,
crushing him easily- or so it seemed.
	Out of nowhere, Ryouga, the eternally Lost Boy,
appeared, waving his umbrella fearlessly.  �Ranma,
PREPARE TO DIE!!!� he yelled.
	�I�ve had enough of this.�
	The trio, who were preparing for a knock-down,
dragged out fight, skidded to a halt.   �Kasumi?  What
are you doing up here?   You�re not suppose to be in
this scene,� Ryouga said.
	�I didn�t even think you knew how to get onto the
roof,� Ranma added.
	�You�ve completely ruined my concentration!� Happosai
wailed desolately.
	Kasumi shrugged her slender shoulders.   �This is
old.   Almost every fanfic I�ve read begins with one
of you guys-�
	Kasumi was interrupted as Akane pops out up from
behind, swinging her PseudoHammer2000.  �Ranma no
baka!� she yelled viciously, only to be surprised as
Ranma easily avoided the blow.   Her eyes widened. 
�Did I miss my cue or something?�
	�Or something,� Happosai said grumpily.   �Kasumi has
decided that this fanfic is already old.... even
before it started.�
	�Not just this one!� Kasumi protested.  �Most of
them!  Same old, same old.  Happosai stealing
underwear-�
	�But that�s what I do!�
	�Ryouga threatening to kill Ranma-�
	�People think it�s funny!�
	�-and Akane threatening Ranma with a hammer.�
	�But they think it�s funny that a hot-shot martial
artist can�t avoid a simple hammer!�
	�What�s even worse is that it is a cheesy,
copyrighted hammer,� Kasumi finished bleakly.
	The animites blushed.   �So what do you want us to
do?� Akane asked.
	�First, since this series has been going on since
1987 or so, I think it�s time we acted little more
mature.�  She waved her hand, and everyone aged by
five years.  Happosai disappeared.
	�Whoa!� Ryouga exclaimed, looking at his more mature
frame.    He had been handsome as a teenager, but now
he was drop dead gorgeous.    He looked at Akane,
Ranma and Kasumi.   Akane was visibly pregnant, and
Ranma was even more buxom then before.   Kasumi wore
glasses.   �Wait a sec- where did Happosai go?�
	Kasumi shrugged.   �Back into his gem, I assume.  
He�s not dead. I think,� she appended, her expression
loosing a little bit of the uncharacteristic
assertiveness.
	Ranma frowned, looking at Akane.   �Who�s she married
to?�
	�That, my dear, you will have to see for yourself.� 
Kasumi produced a clipboard from nowhere.  Looking up
at the sky, she narrowed her attention onto the fanfic
writer.   �Are you sure you�re willing to go through
with this?� she asked.
	Quicksilver started, surprised.   �I don�t really
have much choice,� she answered.  �It�s in my head.�
	�This really could get you in trouble- especially
since you�re not an acknowledge Ranma writer.,� Kasumi
continued.
	Quicksilver smiled cockily.   �I AM an acknowledge
Highlander, Buffy and Star Trek writer, though.   I�ll
be fine.� 
	�Ok, then.   Once more, from the top!� Kasumi
declared.     An animated flash, and then a change of
scenery.

Quicksilver�s Quill Offers:
Ranma Reborn
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
standard disclaimers

	There was a knock on the door of the dojo.   Akane,
heavily pregnant, waddled to it.  Her ankles were
swollen, and movement hurt.    She mentally repeated
the due date -a date gone by over a week- and swung
the door open.
	�Ryo-kun!  How nice to see you!� she exclaimed.  
�It�s been -what?  Two years?�
	�Since your wedding,� Ryouga said.   He kissed her on
the cheek.    �I thought you would have already had
the child.�
	She groaned melodramatically.   �I wish,� she said.  
�So what have you been up to?  Last I saw, you and
Ukyou were talking about marriage.�
	Ryouga flushed slightly.   �Actually, I was hoping
you had seen her.    I managed to misplace her about
twelve months ago.�
	Akane sighed and shook her head.    �Ryouga, you
don�t change!� she teased.  Then her breath caught.  
�Owwww,� she moaned.
	Ryouga looked at his teenage crush.   �Akan-chan?  
Are you OK?� he demanded.
	She shook her head.   �I think I�m going into labor. 
Get Tofu,� she said.
	Ryouga�s chi aura blazed.   �Tofu!� he yelled.  His
chi had the effect of magnifying his voice.   
	Dr. Tofu Ono stumbled down the stairs to Akane�s
side.   �Are you ok?� he asked, concerned.  
	Akane smiled at her husband.  �I�m-�
	�Wait just one minute here!�   Ranma, once again in
his male form, stumbled onto the scene.    He was more
mature, and as handsome as Ryouga, but the pissed
expression on his face looked the same as it always
had.   �Akane�s married to DOCTOR TOFU?� he bellowed.
	Quicksilver, the omnipotent narrator, shrugged her
slender shoulders.  �I�ve never actually seen Akane
married to HIM in any fanfic I�ve ever read.  And
since she was in love with him, I thought it was only
fair she catch him for a change.�
	�But he�s suppose to marry Kasumi!� Ranma protested.
	�Who says?   I say he married Akane this time around.
 It�s not like you�re in love with her anymore,
Ranma,� Quicksilver said.
	Ranma blushed angrily.   �You�re implying that I
liked that tomboy in the first place!� he yelled.
	�Can you please stop arguing?� Akane asked.   �I�m in
labor here!�
	Quicksilver sighed.  �Ranma, even though you�re the
title character, I�m going to have to ask you to get
out of this scene.   I�ll deal with you later.�
	Ranma stomped off, cursing about the gaijin writer. 
Quicksilver sighed yet again.  �Proceed.�
	�Get her bag and bring it to the hospital!� Tofu
commanded Ryouga.  �It�s in the kitchen.�
	Ryouga stumbled off and, of course, got lost for the
next few pages.   Tofu picked Akane up and carried her
to the taxi which had mysteriously appeared.  Akane�s
breathing was even, but sweat drops were starting to
form on her forehead.   Tofu brushed a kissed on his
wife�s smooth forehead.   �I love you,� he whispered
gently.
	The taxi raced to the nearest hospital.   As fate
would have (or rather the author would have it), a
familiar nurse was on duty- one Shiratori Azusa.
	�Wait a second!� Ranma protested, leaping into the
scene.  �It�s bad enough you made Akane marry Dr.
Tofu, but this is pushing it!   Azusa�s too stupid to
be a nurse, and besides- she�s not even a main
character.  It should be Kasumi or something.�
	Quicksilver roused herself out of her writing-induced
daze.   �Ranma, I like Azusa- well, I attempt to, at
least.   I think she�s got more depth then you give
her credit for.   Besides, even though Kasumi borrows
medical books, I don�t see her as a nurse.�
	Ranma shuffled his feet.  �But-�
	�No buts.  Get out of this scene.   This is my fanfic
and I�ll do what I want,� Quicksilver commanded
decisively.   �If you�re not careful, I�ll write you
out.   Or since Kodachi is still unaccounted for, you
can be married to her for a while.�
	Ranma lost all the coloring in his face.   �You
wouldn�t,� he whispered, shaken.
	�Try me,� Quicksilver threatened.
	Ranma almost tripped over his own feet in his haste
as he left.    �Now, let�s get back to this birth
thing,� Quicksilver said.
	Akane groaned as a contraction struck her.  She
squeezed Tofu�s hand so hard his eyes bulged.   He
considered hitting a pressure point to relax his wife,
but decided against it.  Akane got cranky when he used
his medical knowledge against her, which was one of
the reasons he wasn�t delivering his own child.
	�It�ll be a couple of hours yet,� Tofu said.
	Akane tried to smile at him.  �And he�ll probably
come out ready to fight.�
	�There do seem to be an over abundance of martial
artists in this town,� Tofu agreed.   
	�Uh,� Akane said as another contraction hit.   Azusa,
who had been standing near-by, frowned in concern. 
�This birth is going much too fast.  I�d better get
the Doctor,� she said as she slid away towards an
employee lounge.  Azusa dragged a Doctor out- KUNO.
	Akane saw him and gasped.   �You can�t have a medical
degree yet!  You�re only twenty-two!� she protested.
	Kuno was wearing scrubs that looked very much like
the kendoist outfits he had worn during his high
school years..  He looked more elegant then ever.   �I
am a Kuno, and our brilliance simply can�t be
restrained by the slight matter of years.�
	Azusa giggled.   �He paid for an honorary degree. 
This hospital was too stupid to check his
credentials.�  She saw the happy couple�s concerned
expressions, and hastened to reassure them.   �Don�t
worry, Akane.  He�s only killed two people in the year
he�s worked here.�
	Ryouga stumbled into the room at that point,
clutching Akane�s bag to his chest.  �Um,
Quicksilver?� he asked, trying to get the narrator�s
attention.  
	Quicksilver started, surprised.  �Ryouga, I said that
you were lost for a couple of pages.  You�re making me
an inconsistent writer!�
	Ryouga shrugged.  �You know I always show up where
I�m not wanted.�  He looked around at the situation,
and frowned in concern.   �You�re not really going to
let Kuno deliver Akane�s child, are you?�
	Quicksilver pursed her lips.   �I haven�t decided
yet.�
	�It�s really not a fair idea,� Ryouga protested.
	Quicksilver�s eyes narrowed dangerously.   �Are you
questioning me, P-chan?  Even though I think you and
Ukyou belong together, I could be persuaded to let
Ukyou have Konatsu.... or Tsubasa... and as for you,
like I said before, Kodachi is still unaccounted
for...�
	Ryouga�s confidence flared.   �You already had Akane
mention my impending marriage to Ukyou.   There�s no
way you can let that happen now- you�ll have a plot
inconsistency,� he declared, positive he had the
author where he wanted her.
	Quicksilver sighed.  �There�s ways for me to get
around that.   You�ve been missing for over a year,
remember.   Plenty of time for things to change.�
	Ryouga flushed and began to stammer.   He�d ended up
with Ukyou in a lot of fics, so much so that he had
grown to love her.   But Akane was his first love....
	�Ryouga no baka!� Ukyou screamed, appearing in the
scene.  She whacked him a good one, using the same
PseudoHammer2000 Akane had used in the prologue. 
�Just agree with Quicksilver.  I don�t want to end up
with either of those cross-dressing stalkers.�
	Quicksilver smiled at her favorite character.   �I
always knew you were the smartest, Ucchan.�
	She smiled cheerily.   �Remember- I don�t like either
of those cross-dressing freaks.  If I can�t have
Ranchan, Ryouga�s a good choice.�   She kissed her
would-be fiancee on the cheek and vanished just as
suddenly as she had appeared.
	Quicksilver sighed.  �I guess you can deliver Akane�s
child, Ryo-kun.�
	Ryouga flushed.  �How about a real Doctor?�
	She shook her head.   �You or Kuno.   I�m sure Tofu
will coach you through it.�
	Akane sat up, her breathing quick and heavy. 
�Please, Ryo-kun,� she begged.
	Ryouga had never been able to refuse Akane anything,
and probably never would. �I�ll do it for you,� he
said.
	She smiled, trying to go for cute, which was
difficult at this point.  Her face was flushed, and
she was very sweaty.   �Thanks.   Can you get Kuno out
of here?� she asked.  Then another contraction began.

	Ukyou put the brush down on her vanity, then looked
in the mirror.   There was no way anyone could
possibly mistake her for a boy now.   She had become
beautiful over the last five years, and she had
learned that being feminine wasn�t such a bad thing
after all.
	She went downstairs, looking around her shop with
satisfaction.   She had done brisk business,
especially in the last few years, even though she
hadn�t been around much.  Maybe because of that fact. 
 She�d hired the happily married Kurenais to run the
shop, and they were much more fun for customers to
look at then she was.   She waved to Tsubasa and
Konatsu, glad that they had found happiness together. 
 Paying for Konatsu�s sex-change was a brilliant idea,
she decided for the thousandth time.   Now if I could
only find Ryo-kun...
	Ryouga had the world�s worst sense of direction-
everyone knew that.  He was fully capable of getting
lost by looking at a paper bag.  This time, though,
Ukyou was determined she�d be able to keep track of
him.  Clutching her paper bag, she grinned slightly
wickedly.  This time she had a plan to keep him in one
place- or, failing that, at least keep track of him.
	She walked out of her door, towards the Tendo Dojo.  
 Her movements were fluidly graceful, and more then
once male wolf-whistled at her.   One of them even had
the nerve to blow a kiss in her direction.    She
turned and LOOKED at him, and she could almost see his
desire to re-write the last few seconds of his life. 
Then she smiled, looking beautiful, and he almost
melted in his shoes.
	She went and knocked on the door of the dojo.  After
a minute or so, Kasumi opened it.   Kasumi was dressed
in a practical skirt, and her spotless glasses were
perched on her nose.   In one hand she was holding a
clip board, muttering.
	Ukyou chose to ignore this- after all, Kasumi had
always been... strange.   �I don�t suppose Ryouga�s
been around lately?� she asked hopefully, as she had
many times before.    Coming to the Tendo dojo was the
start of her usual �Ryouga hunts�.
	Unlike usual, though, Kasumi smiled, though it wasn�t
her cheerful smile of old.  �I believe he followed
Akane to the Hospital.   She went into labor.�
	Ukyou wanted to ask Kasumi what she was still doing
at home, but decided against it.   Kasumi had gone
back to muttering at the pad.  So Ukyou left, on her
way to the hospital.

END PART ONE

	Kasumi looked up from her clip board.   �Would you
like some tea, Quicksilver?� she asked.
	Quicksilver smiled.  �Sure.  Anything to get out of
this damn dorm room.�   Quicksilver quickly wrote
herself into the scene, and Kasumi finished preparing
the tea.
	�What did you want to talk about?� Quicksilver asked.
	�One- you didn�t include Ranma.�
	�I thought too many fanfics started that way.   I�ll
explain what happened to him later.�
	�Two- You�re way too fan boyish with Ukyou.�
	Quicksilver looked affronted.   �First, I�m female.  
I have no dreams of Ukyou.   I just empathize with her
very well.    Secondly, Ryouga and Ukyou look so good
together.�
	Kasumi shrugged, then made a note.   �Three, you�re
using clich�s.�
	Quicksilver sighed.  �I doubt it�s possible to write
a Ranma fic without using some clich�s.   I mean,
coincidence is a writer�s best friend, ya know?   And
if I didn�t use ANY of the Ranma standards, it
wouldn�t be a Ranma fic.�
	�Fine.  My last complaint is that you�re making me
look stupid.
	The writer resisted the urge to start giggling.  
Kasumi, with an ego?   �At least I didn�t make you
into a homicidal killer or a nympho.   I�m sure you�ll
be fine.�   Quicksilver stood.   �I have a bio test to
study for.    Ta ta for now!�  And with that, she did
the writers trick and vanished back to her dorm,
waiting for the dreaded test on rabbit dissection.

Up Next:
Ukyou shows up at the hospital, Akane delivers her
child, and..... the battle between author and cast
begins in earnest.


===
Quicksilver
Lady of the Labyrinth
Full time student and part-time writer
Finally finished pledging!
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/3342/
"You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing."
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