thanks for all the feedback on this story! Here's
the rewrite. i may toss this Skysabre's way for
inclusion in his 'Mirrors Multiplied' just to have
a virtuous Genma there, providing contrast to the
other ones. And this Genma could clean most of
their clocks, too...
keep in mind this is just for amusement purposes,
folks. not intended to have great literary
content, Meaning, or advancing the human
condition. if it gives you a chuckle at some
point, that's all i'm trying for.
===========================
     The large headed individual intoned solemnly.
"I am Uatu, known to some as The Watcher."

     A relatively shorter being blinked at this.
"No, you're not.  You're Toltiir using a puppet."

     The large headed individual paused and a
really big cartoon anvil came down on the critic.

     An arm poked out from underneath the anvil
and waved. "And they did it better on that Star
Trek episode, too. 'Corbomite Maneuver' or some
such."

     Another anvil came down, forcing the first
anvil even further into the ground.

     The large headed individual paused, then gave
a totally out-of-character grin before settling
back into his role. "Ahem, I am Uatu, the Watcher
of Worlds, and among the time lines are many where
Genma Saotome sold his child. Sold him to gypsies,
sold him for two fish and a pickle, sold him to an
okonomiyaki chef, or sold him to the Nymphomaniac
Amazons of Planet Playtex."

     Toltiir blinked at that, pulled a cue card
out of nowhere, confirmed that this was indeed
what it said, then shrugged and went on. The card
he tossed off to the right where it sliced into a
Sopwith Camel, causing the beagle flying it to
curse the stupid cat. Toltiir then turned back to
manipulating his puppet.

     "And yet, things could have been different.
Originally, Genma Saotome's scruples and any moral
fiber were destroyed while slaving underneath the
evil Master Happosai!"

     "...now I am the Master, Genma!" said a
little black-armored Happosai marionette hanging
from the Watcher's right hand.

     "Only a Master of Lingerie!" a little robed
Genma marionette countered, hanging from the left
hand.

     "Well, I _do_ have my priorities," admitted
the chibi-Happosai before the two puppets were
banished back to stuffspace.

     From underneath two anvils, the demon raged.
"Would you just bloody get on with it? Besides,
Takahashi owns the Ranma 1/2 concepts, Marvel
Comics owns the Watcher and the 'What If' title,
and the anvils are on loan from Warner Brothers.
Least you can do is come up with a different take
on it."

     A third anvil dropped down with a mighty
clang, causing all three to become buried in the
ground.

     "So WHAT IF  instead of Genma being an
amoral, lying, thieving, stinking, misbegotten
excuse for a father, he'd rebelled against the
depravity and immoral behavior of his former
master? What if he chose instead to become as
UNLIKE Happosai as he possibly could?"

=============================
RANMA 1/2: GENMA ASCENDANT
============================
     Genma went into the little Shrine, head bowed
and feeling miserable. He tugged on the rope,
being answered by the clatter of the bells
overhead. In the customary  manner, he clapped his
hands three times before bowing his head.

     "Hear me, o spirits of this shrine. Today I
have stolen again. One thing different has
occurred though, and now I find myself wondering
if perhaps I . . . "

     Genma started and stopped again. Not that he
believed that any spirits or anything were
listening, but it was a way to sort this out in
his mind. "I was running out of the village with a
load of food and clothing over my shoulder, and
one of the villagers yelled out that he recognized
me. That I was a servant of the thief Happosai.

     "I needed food! But, to think that I could
resemble the Demon was enough to enrage me. Then
to shame me. Have I become like the Master? Have I
followed his road too long?"

     The image came, of Genma chuckling at the
absurdity of the notion, and walking back to his
camp. From there he'd get drunk, eventually meet
and marry Nodoka - whose idea of a manly man was
very similar to Happosai, and Genma would go on to
raise his young son in a rather bizarre manner.

     A cat chuckled Somewhere as a second ghostly
image of a Genma who sat and took the idea
seriously began to firm. "Well then," said Genma
after a few minutes of contemplation. "Remembering
what hell he put me through, I'll just have to
make sure that doesn't happen. I REFUSE to be
ANYTHING like the Master! Instead I shall surpass
him in every way save his perversity. Let the
Anything Goes style stand for something besides
debauchery and panty raids!"

     Lightning crackled and a stiff wind blew
through what had been still air a moment ago. The
last rays of the sun seemed to spotlight down on
the old cabinet at the back of the shrine.

     "A fine oath," said a gruff voice.

     Genma jumped slightly at the voice.  Someone
had managed to sneak up on HIM?!

     It was the shrine's priest from the look of
him. The man seemed to look deep into Genma's soul
and find much he disliked, but there was a flame
burning there now. Yes, there was a chance.

     "As I said, a fine oath. If you can walk that
path, you will always be welcome at the Masaki
Shrine."

     "It is my intention." Genma stared back for a
moment. "How would be the difficult thing. The
training I've had at the hands of the Master was
not conducive to a path of virtue."

     A ghost of a smile played on the old man's
face. "Well then, perhaps there's a chance you can
stay the night, then we could speak of many
things."

     "Many things?"

     "Of virtue and honor, of heroism and glory,
of life and death and what comes after. Of bushido
and of the Code of the Shih or Chinese Martial
Artists. Of rebirth and salvation."

     Genma nodded. At least it would get him
indoors before the rains hit, and maybe the
priest's ramblings would give him an idea on how
to proceed in this new path.

     By the end of the second day, he had become
good friends with Achika and Nobuyuki.
---------------------------------
     A year after Genma had left the Masaki
Shrine,  he found his wanderings had taken him
afar. To a village of women warriors, where he
could consult with the Elders.

     "What do you seek here, far from your
homeland, outsider male?" A tough-looking, heavily
scarred woman demanded of Genma near where an old
woman blinked owlishly from atop her cane.

     "I seek  the wisdom of your Elders."

     "Why should we help some Jap scum..." The
scarred woman stopped unleashing the old animosity
between the Chinese and the Japanese. A simple
glare from the woman standing on her own cane was
sufficient to stop the woman from speaking
further. In fact, from where Genma could see, it
looked as if the woman were trying hard not to
breathe. A serjeant or something similar, Genma
guessed from the reaction, one who had just
discovered the General's eye upon her.

     The old woman regarded Genma briefly. "What
wisdom do you seek here, among the Joketsuzoku?
And how would you pay for it?"

     Genma frowned slightly. He knew enough of
this that he knew that money was NOT the form of
payment. They'd ask for services of some kind, but
what? "I seek to put horrors of my past behind me.
I seek to walk a path of virtue and enlightenment.
I seek to know how to improve myself beyond my
Master's teachings. I shall pay any reasonable
cost you name. In particular,  I seek knowledge of
the Saint Technique."

     Cologne blinked and translated this for the
crowd that gathered. Finally she regarded Genma
again. "You seek something very old and not known
to many. We shall have to discuss this, wait and
you will be sent for."

     A year passed before  Genma left again,
having worked for that year under the Amazons.
This time, however, he was not alone.

     The mother, as sometimes occurred within the
Amazons, had decided to relinquish the son's
custody to his father. With a daughter, this would
not have been done, but *was* done sometimes with
male offspring. Especially in the cases where no
formal challenge, defeat, or marriage had been
issued. No, simply two lonely people coming
together on a cold night in the mountains. Such is
life.
---------------------------------
     <Cue: Raiders of the Lost Ark soundtrack>
     A montage of scenes passed in the scrying
field.

     Genma carrying the bundled baby  into a
hidden Tibetan monastary./Genma hacking his way
through deep jungle foliage, followed by a small
boy./Genma swinging over a deep gorge, a little
boy catching it and swinging after his
father./Genma entering the Amazon Village, and
presenting the little boy to his dying mother./The
boy learning martial arts from his great
grandmother and playing with his purple-haired
cousin./The boy surrounded by books in an English
library while Genma discussed matters of
importance with some official-looking fellows./

        <cue: violins begin to play,  a more sadly
sweet manner.>
     /An okonomiyaki cart, where an engagement is
refused. A tale of a dead mother and a dying
father, leaving a child alone and unloved is
sufficient that cart and child are quickly
adopted. Two children and their father, travelling
across Japan and China./ An eleven year old boy,
challenging the Elders for his birthright as an
Amazon. Three Trials that he succeeds at.
Acceptence into the tribe, though he could not
stay./A cousin of sorts, curious from her
half-Japanese relative's tales of adventure,
sneaks away to  join the group./

 <cue: '60s Batman theme>
     /A masked martial artist, tall and strong,
biffs and bams his way through a crowd of Faceless
Minions. At his sides, doing the same, is a young
masked boy, a masked girl who has substituted her
spatula with a bo staff, and a masked girl with
long purple hair./ A scarred man, holding a hand
over one eye, swearing vengeance against the two
whose masks have become dislodged during the fight
(Genma & Ranma). Genma shaking hands with
Detective Le of the Hong Kong Harbor Police. He
and the detective sweatdrop as the three kids
behind them go into a "sentai group pose."/

 <cue: James Bond music>
/ In snow covered mountains, with a blonde girl
about the same age as the others. All four
parachuting down, with black parachutes, into some
installation with an odd radar dish./ Shampoo,
Ukyou, Melissa, and Ranma looking alarmed at
Genma, who has just pushed a button on the wall.
All five begin running as a really big round rock
begins rolling down the corridor at them./

 <cue: Star Wars music>
/Genma leaving Shampoo and Ukyou at the Amazon
Village, before Ranma & his father leave alone
again./At the controls of the plane, while the
pilot watches with amusement as Ranma starts
studying the controls and instruments./Joining a
noble cause and opposing a tyrant, just because it
is the right thing to do, surrounded by
partisans./A small crowd of soldiers in a
mountaintop villa, preparing to execute the last
group of the rebels and a dark haired girl, being
interrupted as an attack helicopter sweeps up from
behind the mountain. A grinning Ranma is shown
behind the controls./Victory, with a much smaller
group of partisans, their arms raised in victory
in a blasted out villa that freedom was at last
theirs. A dark haired girl seems to be hanging
close to Ranma./
------------------------------------
     The rain came down in a drizzle as they
entered the village. Genma seperated from Ranma
almost instantly. Even though he had lived here,
even though Ranma was now accepted, Genma was
still considered an outsider by most. Not all, as
many accepted him. In fact, one reason Genma had
to make himself scarce in the village was that he
kept getting challenged. Genma was strong, well
known as a gentle and virtuous soul, and had a
reputation as a strong martial artist. If he
didn't make himself scarce, he'd find himself
married again before long.

     The first thing Ranma did, of course, was try
to look up his old friends.

     "<RANMA SAOTOME!>"

     "<Who? Oh, it's you, Mousse. Have you seen
Ucchan or Shamchan?>"

     "<For Shampoo's hand, I challenge you to a
duel!>"

     "<Are you nuts or somethin'? Shampoo's my
second cousin, sorta.>" Actually Ranma wasn't sure
what a translation of the relationship was. Cousin
was the usual term used. "<Shouldn't you be
challenging her, or her legal guardian at least?>"

     "<Enough! Are you a man or aren't you?>"

     "<Geez, Mousse, what flew up your butt? I
know we've never gotten along, but still. . .>"

     "<You'll meet me at the Cursed Springs in a
half hour, or you'll never see your friend Ucchan
or my Shampoo again.>"
-----------------------------------
     "YOU?!" Ranma stared at Mousse's ally and
tried to picture how this could have happened.
He'd only been twelve when their paths had crossed
the last time.

     "You and your father have caused me
considerable problems, boy." The middle aged man
flicked a cigarette stub away. "This is where you
get paid back in full."

     "Where's Ucchan and Shampoo?" Ranma's eyes
swept the area, not spotting them anywhere nearby.
There was only the small hut where they could have
been held out of the late evening chill.

     "Your sister and cousin are safe, for the
moment, boy." Scarumanga sneered at the boy before
him. In the deepening shadows, the tsuba tied as
an eyepatch was an dark blob on the pale face. "Do
you know how much embarrassment you caused me,
boy? The oyabun was not pleased. However, if I
bring you in front of him as a new pet, he may
relent and restore me to my previous position."

     "It was your own doing," Ranma pointed out.
"Me and Pop were hired by one of the parents of
the missing girls. Pachinko, minor gambling, the
occasional robbery are all tolerated by the police
from the Yakuza. Going off on your own initiative
with a slave ring, that pushed the boundaries."

     "Enough talk, get up there and fight."
Scarumanga pointed to where Mousse rested easily
on one of the poles.

     "How do I know Shampoo and Ucchan are okay?"

     Scarumanga whistled. A movement on a clifftop
brought Ranma's attention to it. Two figures,
surrounded by four others.

     "Don't worry, they're alive. Just drugged."

     Ranma nodded, probably the same stuff that
had been used on the girls that Scarumanga had
been involved with earlier. He didn't even glance
at the pocket of his vest that had the
transceiver. "Okay, now get them back away from
the edge of the cliff, whatever you're planning
doesn't concern them."

     "No profit in hurting them, true." Scarumanga
whistled twice and the figures disappeared. "Now,
get your a$$ up there, little boy."

     Grumbling slightly, Ranma removed his shoes
before leaping to the top of one of the bamboo
poles. "So, I'm supposed to fight Mousse like
this? This ain't so bad, I've seen similar setups
in Thailand and Okinawa."

     Scarumanga grinned. "Why do you think they
call it the 'Cursed Springs'?"

     Ranma shrugged, paying less attention to
Scarumanga than to Mousse who was taking a 'Crane'
stance. Mousse had some fair strength and speed,
but it had been a few years since Ranma had faced
him in combat. Mousse had always resented this
overachieving youth to be so friendly with 'his
Shampoo' and apparently time had not made the
heart grow fonder.

     Mousse leapt to the attack, using his long
legs to good effect with a series of kicks.

     Ranma dodged and flipped, noting that the
uneven spacing of the poles made judging distances
a little difficult.

     Mousse continued to press the attack until
Ranma was on a particular pole. "Now, Saotome, our
rivalry is OVER!" From the right sleeve of his
robe erupted the expected stream of chains. From
the  left came a submachine gun spitting a hail of
bullets.

     It had been a long day. Ranma had been
hiking, running along mountain trails, and had
desperately wanted nothing more than catching up
on old times with his friends and relaxing in a
hot bath. He would have anticipated spears or
chains from Mousse. Guns, which would have been
unthinkable for Mousse a few years ago, were
completely beyond what Ranma would have expected.
Caught by surprise, Ranma still nearly made it to
another pole. His hand clawed the air within an
inch of salvation. Another moment and he'd have
been able to get out of the field of fire, another
inch and he'd have had that moment. A bullet
slammed into his chest instead.

     Oddly enough, his thought as he fell was not
of himself or how much this would hurt. He was
instead apologizing to Shampoo and Ukyou for
failing them.

     Mousse smiled in triumph. Shampoo and that
sister of his were always going on about how
wonderful or how special Ranma was. Mousse had
even snuck into Shampoo's room once to find that
HIS future bride had a scrapbook of Saotome's
adventures and photographs! Now Shampoo would be
his!
-------------------------
     "<...Shampoo will be mine at last.>"

     Shampoo kept her eyes closed as she slowly
regained consciousness. It took all her will not
to react when she realized that she had just been
handed to Mousse and that he had cupped one of her
breasts as he took her from these drug users. No
doubt by accident, though he _had_ been getting
awfully pushy lately.

     "What about this Ranma, boss?" A gruff voice
speaking in Ranma's native language. Shampoo had
picked some of it up from his sister Ukyou.

     "Little Miss Saotome will be no problem. Make
sure that she's paralyzed but conscious, then
'play' with her a bit. In fact, you've all done so
well, why don't you pass her around a couple
times?"

     "Gee, thanks boss."

     "You dirty bastards, if I could get loose. .
."

     "Look, Saotome, see that pan over there? You
and your dad are into experiments, ain't ya? Well,
I've thought about this ever since I heard about
these 'Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo.' You fell into
Spring of Drowned Girl, so now cold water turns
you from an annoying boy to a pretty young girl.
Hot water turns you back. Since the Spring you
fell into was a cold one, it might be reasonably
assumed that this is why it is cold water that
activates the curse, right?"

     "Yeah, I get it. So you're heating up some of
the Girl water so that you can lock me into this
form. Cheez, don't you ever tire of this crap,
Scarumanga? What is it with you and the slave
trader routine?"

     "It's a highly lucrative business, girl.
Carries plenty of side benefits, and the finished
product is in high demand in a number of
locations. Even 'as is' you could be sold to a
Thai brothel or cage-bar, where you'd be strung
out on so many drugs even you wouldn't know your
own name. The really high prices go to the
'trained' models, though. If the oyabun doesn't
want you, hell, I may have my friends put you
through their training regimen and then keep you
myself."

     "Go to Hell, Scarumanga."

     Scarumanga smiled a cruel little smile.
"You'll be there far ahead of me, girl."

     Shampoo finished figuring out the opposition
and the situation. Two men with guns, one near
her, one further away. Three without guns. Mousse
was setting her down on the ground. Ukyou was
silent, probably still unconscious. Ranma was over
there, bound from the sound of it. Her cousin was
now a girl and about to become permanently a
member of the warrior gender. Shampoo waited until
she could be sure of when to move. She had other
plans for cousin Ranma that required that he
remain a he at least part time. So did his
"sister" but that could be settled later.

     "Hey boss, this Cursed Springwater stuff?"

     "Yeah, Tiny?"

     "If it hits you on the outside, your outside
changes, right? This boy got turned into a girl,
but he still THINKS like a boy so his insides
ain't changed, right?"

     "Yes, Tiny," Scarumanga sounded weary.

     "So if you got this Cursed Water stuff INSIDE
'em, would it change them inside as well as out?"

     There was a sudden pause going through the
group.

     "Hmmm," Scarumanga hmmed. "Tiny, for a moron,
you're a genius."

     "Gee, thanks, boss. I think..."

     "Let's try this out, first. Drill?"

     The unsavory type with the leer nodded,
uncapped a small flask, then turned on Mousse and
threw it. A moment later Mousse found herself
lifted and pinned by Tiny.

     "What the hell are you doing?! We had a
deal!"

     "C'mon, kid, we've got to try this idea out,
and you ain't going to be able to rejoin your
village with the girl there. I promised you a
place in our organization, remember? Well..."
Scarumanga chuckled. "The Red Lantern district has
some openings. Hey, kid, we're VILLAINS. You make
a deal with the devil, you better expect the
contract to undergo renovation halfway through the
job."

     Heated Cursewater was poured over Mousse's
head. That she remained a she was duly noted by
everyone watching.

     "Well, that's one theory. I wonder how your
girlfriend feels about same sex pairings."
Scarumanga nodded to a subordinate.

     "Damnit, stop this right now, or..." Mousse
learned the hard way that trying to yell meant
that you had to open your mouth, and this was not
the smartest thing to be doing at the moment. She
spit and choked but Yag held Mousse's nose while
forcing a bottle into her mouth.

     Shampoo chanced opening her eyes a slit,
noticed the gun-wielders weren't paying attention
and did what came natural. The ones with the guns
were the most dangerous, so they were the target
of choice.

      "Hiyaaaah!" Her foot imbedded itself into
Drill's solar plexus, compressing that area by
nearly inch.

     A gun started swinging up to cover her, but a
spear ended that attempt. The lack of attention of
those with guns had been duly noted by other eyes.
The Amazons descended in force, having been
listening to Genma's transceiver.

     During the fight, Scarumanga fled using a
smokebomb to cover his exit.

     Tiny proved that while he was an idiot, he
wasn't completely hopeless, and he surrendered
after being surrounded by a lot of women with very
sharp objects. He ended up being a slave-farmer,
and though often verbally abused and struck by the
women (at least at first) - it was still better
than he was used to.

     Yag, on the other hand, tried to use
butterfly knives to cut his way to freedom. He met
with Spring Of Drowned Pigeon a few moments later.
Yag later discovered that a number of Amazons
practiced the ancient art of falconry.

     Mousse was still coughing up water, but the
looks she was being given were enough to indicate
that the girl was going to have a very hard time
in front of the Elders later.
-------------------------------
     A week later, Ranma found himself back in
Japan. It was drizzling again, however the
umbrella was quite sufficient for the task. "Are
you sure about this, father? The Guide says that
it only takes a year for the Curse to stabilize
enough for me to use the 'Spring Of Drowned Man'
and change back for good."

     Genma nodded, but was proud of how Ranma took
the curse more-or-less in stride. Even now, with
quite obvious reservations about the task in front
of them, he reasoned calmly and clearly. He had
done well in raising his son. Happosai could never
have managed such a feat.

     "This is it," Genma winced as a car went by
and water flew everywhere. A quick glance revealed
his daughter sighing, eyes closed, and allowing
herself a quick grumble about the only car in
sight and of course it would have to splash her.
"Well, I'm sure they'll have hot water at least."

     The knocking door brought a girl with short
hair in a kimono out. "Oooo. Are you Ranma?"

     "Yeah, kinda. Sorry, but I just got splashed.
Got any hot water? Please?"

     "Saotome, my old friend. You look well."

     "Soun, you're looking fairly well yourself."
Genma motioned. "May we? The weather keeps turning
chilly and this drizzle is most uncomfortable."

     "This is Ranma!" Soun grabbed the short boy.
"Oh, at last, you've come! It's so good to finally
meet you! I..."

     "Hot water, please," repeated Ranma as Soun
Tendo let him go.

     "What? What? You..." Soun backed away with a
shocked expression.

     Nabiki frowned and gave one of the odd bulges
in Ranma's shirt a squeeze.

     "I'd *really* appreciate some hot water.
Please?" Ranma closed her eyes. "And can you
please not do that."

     Nabiki squeezed and checked the shape and
firmness. Confirming what she thought that was.
She flicked along the top. "'He' is a girl." No
bra either.

     Soun fainted.

     "I told you we should have waited. Would
*someone* please get me some hot water?"

     "There's hot water in the furo," said Nabiki,
upset by all this. Why did this girl keep talking
about getting hot water? Why did Daddy arrange one
of his girls to marry another girl?

     "Actually, I can explain." Genma sighed. This
was not going nearly how he planned it.

     "Well, at least THAT nonsense is over with,"
another girl said. "I'd better go show that girl
where the bath things are."

     "Oh my, father must be so disappointed."

     "HE'S disappointed! Some fiance that was!"

     "As I said, I can explain..."

     "This is all your fault, Daddy, you should
have made sure!"

     "But Saotome said he had a son!"

     "I DO have a son. Let me explain, you see..."

     "Some son, she's a D cup!"

     "It's quite simple, really..."

     "aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The youngest girl
ran by, grabbed a table, and prepared to run back
the way she came.

     "What NOW, Akane?" Nabiki rubbed her head.
What a horrible day this was turning out to be.

     "I was going to wash off while I was in
there, but there's a pervert in the bathtub!"

     "So, shouldn't you have just beaten him up?"

     "I got scared, okay?!"

     "Uhm, excuse me." Ranma stepped forward,
bowing slightly in apology. "I'm really sorry
about..."

     There was an opening. Akane was a trained
martial artist. She took the opening. The table
impacted the young man rather suddenly and
brutally.

     Genma sighed. Well, there were still other
possibilities. Shampoo had declared her interest.
Ukyou was quite obviously not satisfied with her
relationship to Ranma as a sister. He had gotten
along well with Ami over in Juuban when they'd
gone to the same juku. There was Melissa in
London, Sasha of the Norwegian Amazons, and a few
others that Ranma had seemed to hit it off with.
There was even that young woman who was now at the
Palace, a girl of the rebels that had fought
alongside Ranma during that year with the
partisans. If the Tendo arrangement was
unworkable, then he was sure that Ranma could find
someone he could be happy with. It would at least
satisfy some of these problems if Ranma were
already married or at least seriously engaged, and
if his son could have a happy marriage, well -
that would make Genma happy as well.

     Genma started explaining the curse to the
three girls and their father. How Ranma had been
trying to save a friend's life when he'd gotten
cursed. How in a year, there was a chance that he
could enter the waters of another spring and be
cured of his curse.

     Seeing some disbelief, Genma demonstrated on
the unconscious Ranma then got directions to the
kitchen so that he could fix some hot water.

     "Ungh. Why me?" Ranma began to stir. "Oh
crap, I'm a girl again? When did that happen?"

     "You were cursed while you were trying to
save your friends?" Kasumi felt some sympathy,
this never happened in her romance manga. Well,
hardly ever.

     "Yeah, my cousin and my sister." Ranma
groaned as she moved to a sitting position. "Oh
man, what hit me?"

     Genma walked in with a kettle and quickly
returned his daughter to being his son.

     "Cold water turns you into a girl, but hot
water restores you?" Soun nodded. "Well, that's
not so bad. The life of a martial artist is
fraught with peril."

     "Tell me about it," murmurred Genma and Ranma
in eerie unison.

     Soun motioned towards where all three girls
were standing and looking dubiously at the new
boy. "My daughter Kasumi, she's nineteen. My
daughter Nabiki, she's seventeen. My daughter
Akane, she's sixteen. Pick the one you want,
she'll be your new fiancee."

     "Akane seems the wisest choice," Kasumi said.
Momentary panic at the thought of being engaged to
someone who spent even part of the same time as
the same gender caused Kasumi to say something
she'd later regret.

     "Couldn't agree more," said Nabiki as she got
behind her youngest sister.

     "ME?! Why should I!"

     "Uhm, you needn't act like I'm a leper,
y'know," Ranma mumbled. "It's not contagious."

     "Because you hate boys, Akane." Nabiki nodded
and continued with the pressure, shoving Akane
towards Ranma. Akane wasn't having anything to do
with it and was digging her feet in.

     "Well, you're in luck, Akane. Ranma is half
girl."

     "You know, this does wonders for my self
esteem," Ranma said softly to his father. "This
was almost as good an idea as that 'I wonder what
*this* button does' crap."

     "Me? Marry that pervert? NO WAY!"

     "EXCUSE ME!" Ranma began to raise his voice.
Being polite was obviously not being considered by
anyone else at the moment. "Would you care to
explain that pervert crack?"

     "You looked at me in the nude, you lech!"

     Feeling at least a little satisfaction that
he wasn't being ignored, Ranma continued trying to
be reasonable. "If you would recall,  I clearly
placed the Occupied sign out and my clothes were
left in the changing room. Since you walked in on
me, wouldn't that indicate..."

     "It's different when a girl sees a boy!
PERVERT! PEEPING TOM!"

     "They're already a perfect couple," laughed
Soun Tendo.

     Ranma stared at Mister Tendo, wondering
exactly where this perfect couple was.

     "Well..." Genma winced. It sounded like Soun
was really set on this idea after all.

     "Father, this obviously will not work out.
Since the limo's in the area anyway, I'll just
give them a call and we can be done with this."
Ranma half turned to his father. "This girl hates
me already, and for inadequate reason. The other
two quite obviously want nothing to do with me. I
can go back to college tomorrow anyway."

     "Limo," repeated Nabiki. She stopped pushing
Akane forward.

     "College?" Kasumi looked up and blinked.

     "Leaving?" Soun blinked.

     "Good riddance! Pervert!" Akane was furious.
They were going to engage her to this
shapechanging pervert! And he wouldn't even look
at her when she had come in!

     "Yes, well, Ranma," Genma sighed. "Soun and I
made this pledge while we were serving under a
horrible Master, to join the two houses. It was a
dream that kept us going through some dark times."

     "That's right, the houses MUST be joined. It
is a matter of honor."

     "Is it honor to inflict a lifetime of misery
upon your daughters?" Ranma shrugged. "Besides,
Father, there are other claims at least the equal
of that."

     "WHAT?! Genma, what is the meaning of this?"

     "Political alliances, rich & powerful, that
sort of thing," Genma sighed. Life used to be so
simple.

     "Limo?" Nabiki repeated again, wanting
confirmation. "Rich? Powerful? Political
alliances?"

     "You needn't worry, Miss Tendo. I'll have the
driver pull up in front of the house and we can
leave, and with any luck we'll never darken your
door again. We only walked because I really didn't
want to waste their resources on something so. . .
mundane."

     "Excuse me?" Nabiki watched as Ranma pulled
out a flip-style cellular phone. Nabiki noted that
it was one of those watertight shockproof models
with a GPS display. A counter with a yen sign
started to flash numbers up over her head.

     "Reginald? Ranma. Can you bring the limo by?
We won't be staying after all." Ranma sounded
vaguely surprised at the other's answer. "You're
*that* close? No wonder you were so valuable to
Her Majesty's Service, you must be psychic."

     Kasumi excused herself to go see this.

     "What about our pledge?!" Soun started to
bawl.

     "Well, there are others with claims too. And
some have more ramifications than just two
families, as I said." Genma looked uncomfortable.
"Since none of your daughters are willing, we'll
just have to go to the next claim."

     "Oh my, such a big car."

     Ranma shrugged and looked a little
embarrassed. "Wasn't my idea. After all, the money
could be better invested in a wide variety of
ways."

     "Money?" Nabiki blinked, scooting in front of
Akane to ask of Ranma's back as he left the house.
Any attempt to foist this boy-turning-into-a-girl
thing off on her sister was quickly being
relegated to the Really Bad Ideas stack. "What
kind of money are we talking about?"

     Akane opened her mouth to protest this
engagement further (fully expecting that if it
came to a choice, she'd be chosen, after all
neither Nabiki nor Kasumi could get a date whereas
she had to fight her way through hormone-crazed
idiots every morning) when she realized she was
alone in the house. Shrugging, she happily went
back to the bathroom. At least she'd gotten out of
this engagement thing.

     "But the pledge..." Soun bawled, a river of
tears forming.

     "It isn't that big a car, Kasumi, though it
*is* a Mercedes." The numbers on the Yen counter
were now whirling around at high speed and Nabiki
didn't want to look at it. She took a good look at
the boy instead and *really* started to regret
trying to palm him off on Akane. Tall, nicely
muscled, looked like he had a really good diet
while growing up, his little leather vest with all
the pockets looked good over his embroidered
Chinese shirt and matched his pants quite well.

     "Even then, it's the property of the Embassy.
Still, you'd think something more economical would
be more prudent." Ranma sighed at the waste of so
many resources. "If we go straight to the airport,
I can start the pre-flight inspection on our jet
immediately and we can be in New England by
tomorrow, and I can register at M.I.T. before it
gets much later."

     "Economical? Prudent? *EMBASSY?*" Nabiki
frowned, she felt like she was a page behind in
the script. "You have your own jet? M.I.T.?!" The
Yen counter's speed was a blur.

     "Saotome? How did you get wealthy?"

     "Oh, we helped some rebel forces put down a
tyrannic despot, managed to save one of the Royal
Family, discovered that there were mineral
desposits that nobody had correctly identified."
Ranma snorted, and some people had thought that
his geology courses had been wasted. They didn't
think that now, of course.

     "Rebels. Waitaminute, not?!" Nabiki felt
faint, she'd read about this. A small mountain
nation where a battle had taken place and the
vastly outnumbered rebel forces (that should have
been wiped out without even being a historical
footnote) had somehow succeeded in retaking their
country from some organization called Shadowlaw.
The nation had changed its name, there was one of
the war heroes designated as the next Heir, and
*diamonds* had been discovered on this relatively
worthless rock by that same war hero. She licked
suddenly dry lips. "Would that be The Grand Duchy
Of Fenwick?"

    "You've heard of us?"  Genma looked
embarrassed. "I told them, no reward was
necessary, but I suppose the symbolism was good
for the people."

     Ranma paused at the door of the limo, looking
embarrassed. Talking about his problems was just
so self-indulgent, he hated being the center of
attention like this. "And I keep tellin' 'em,
invest in the infrastructure and bring the
standard of living up, but they keep pulling stuff
like this. Like anybody listens to the Heir
anyway, it's just a damn figurehead position."

     Nabiki paused, finger up. A little voice
started going over the economic projections she'd
seen for the Grand Duchy of Fenwick (more yen than
the Bank of Tokyo) and the counter came crashing
down over her head at the end, now reading "*and
you blew it, you dummy!*"

     Kasumi caught Nabiki before her little sister
hit the ground. "Oh my."
------------------------
     "Well, father?" Ranma looked askance at Genma
as they settled into the back seat and the
chauffer headed towards their plane.

     "I *had* hopes, but as you pointed out, his
daughters just would not be happy with an arranged
marriage. Too bad." Genma sulked a bit. After
their little adventure, they couldn't set foot in
the Amazon Village again. Not because they were
unwelcome, quite the opposite in fact. They'd
narrowly escaped having a large number of Amazons
splitting up and piling over the two. "Well, maybe
something will turn up."

     "You're such an optimist, father." Ranma
smirked and leaned back. He wasn't entirely
unhappy with the situation. After all, now he
could concentrate on important things. Like
college.
-------------------------
     Nabiki blinked, raised her head, saw the limo
disappearing down the street, and screamed.

     "WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!"

     "That's the way, Nabiki!" Soun called
encouragement to the daughter vanishing down the
street, running after the Saotomes. "Go fetch your
fiance!"

     "Oh my." Kasumi smiled. "I don't think I've
ever seen Nabiki run that quickly before." And in
a kimono too. Kasumi thought for a moment about
English style castles, large and elaborate
kitchens, and what it would be like to live in
such a large home. Well, if he were in college, he
wasn't *that* young. Probably headed to Narita,
so...

     Kasumi went into the house and calmly called
a cab. She had not been a proper hostess and she
could insist on the two giving her a second
chance.
====================================
                NOTES SECTION
     Well, this was just a brief thing, a quickfic
looking at a What If. A moral and intelligent
Genma? Ranma and Genma basically taking Jonny
Quest style roles, or Indiana Saotome & Son. A
brief stint where brother, sister, and cousin go
on a "training journey" and do a brief appearance
as sentai-style martial artist heroes. (Hmmm.
Genma wearing White (Virtuous). Ranma as Red.
Ukyou as Blue. Shampoo as Pink or Yellow. Science
Ninja Team Pandaman?) Note that Genma doesn't get
cursed but maybe if the outfit he put together
quickly had a panda symbol or something. Mousse
doesn't turn into a duck, and Shampoo doesn't turn
into a cat. Cologne's rather pleased with the
abilities and progress of  her occasional pupil,
even though he's a male. He might be a male, but
Cologne feels that Ranma could possibly redeem the
gender. A little bit.
     No Catfist and he doesn't quite have that
edge in the martial arts like in the canon. Canon
Ranma vs this version: the longer the fight lasts,
the more an advantage this Ranma would be at. He's
a lot more used to employing his gray matter.
Canon Ranma's stronger and more determined, this
one is more intellectually oriented and more apt
to find a noncombative solution. Not that Ranma's
a slouch. He starts out knowing the Chestnut Fist.
     Ranma has less official fiancees but a *lot*
more interested parties. How many? Dozens. There
are political alliances and the like to consider.
Shampoo's *very* interested in cousin Ranma.
Ukyou's not satisfied with being Ranma's sister,
and never has been satisfied with that
arrangement. There's Melissa Bond, a lively young
London girl who is reminded of her father's good
qualities in this Ranma fellow. There's Sasha, a
member of the Norwegian Amazons (a split off from
the Chinese variety).
     Why would any girl be interested in this
version of Ranma? After all, he's not the canon
Ranma. Well, he's not a Walking Ego, he's
virtuous, he's intelligent, he's wealthy and in a
position of political power, he's better built
because of his diet growing up so taller and more
muscular, he knows special manuevers. . .  He's
also not interested at the moment. Too much he has
yet to learn.
     He considers Shampoo a good friend, if a
little obsessive. Ucchan's his sister. He doesn't
see any of the women in his life as a romantic
lead. For one thing, they're all too violent.

OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE_

     "What is this, another Bet fic?" Akane
snorted as she looked through the script. "So what
is it this time? Do I pull out a gun and shoot the
pervert in the tub?"

     "Well, if it's a Bet fic, at least I get to
say something besides 'Oh my' and act like my
brain was shut down from the cleaning fumes."
Kasumi reached for another chocolate stick.
"Because some writers base on the end of the manga
instead of the beginning, the only thing left of
Nabiki or my personalities is the most outstanding
traits-turned-cariacture. You know what would
happen if the same thing were applied to you,
Akane. The 'psycho-b*tch effect'."

     "I'd get to be interested a few things in
addition to money, and it's nice to be able to
stretch your role some. Just a moment, Akane. Ah,
let's see." Nabiki adjusted her glasses. "WHAT IF
Genma, after having been put through Hell by
Happosai's training, had decided to become as
unlike Happosai as he could?"

     "Well, admittedly, THAT would be different,"
Shampoo shrugged and sat back as she looked over
her script. "Oh hell, I show up only briefly, and
that's as a 'damsel in distress'?"

     "Better you than me," retorted Akane. "Been
there, done that, got the T-shirt. Why can't I be
the one to be the knight come charging in to do
the rescue?"

     "Out of character," answered Ukyou, Nabiki,
and Shampoo simultaneously.

     "There was that once you saved him from
Kodachi," Kasumi reminded Akane, frowning as she
read her script. Maybe she ought to pencil in a
few changes . . .

     "Besides, that was your role in that 'Off
Your Noodle' story, which was dropped because of
initial response to the idea of Kaori Daikokuji
winning that race." Kasumi stirred her coffee with
her chocolate stick absently as she read through.
"Oh my. Ukyou is Ranma's sister?"

     "Gak!" Ukyou spit beer as she took in her own
scene. "Oh, sorry, Akane. I never even wake up
during the one scene I appear?! Excepting the
montage scene? Phooey."

     "He's rich, intelligent, not that great a
fighter, built better, and going to college."
Kasumi flipped through to the end. "And it's *not*
a 'Kasumi gets Ranma' story? Pity, I'd at least
get some good lines."

     Everyone flicked back to the last page.

     "I think it should be a 'Nabiki gets Ranma'
story, after all, he's rich here and knows the
value of money. Just imagine how well I could
manage a newly wealthy nation's money." Nabiki
smirked and regarded the group over the tops of
her glasses.

     "I think it should be a 'Shampoo gets Ranma'
story. See here, he's been accepted into the
Joketsuzoku." Shampoo pointed to a page. "Though I
_do_ want to protest the continuing use of the
term Amazon. 'Without breasts' indeed! What do
they think *these* are?"

      "What?" Ukyou looked up with a puzzled
expression.

      "The Greek phrase 'Amazon' references the
practice of the nomad matriachal tribe that Homer
wrote of as removing one of their breasts to be
better archers," Kasumi said without looking up.
"Not something the Joketsuzoku would normally
consider."

     "Why do I only get Ranma (not that I want
him) when he's an arrogant egotistical jerk?"

     Everyone else decided to ignore Akane's
outburst, rather than get caught up in this
argument again.

     "I think it should be an 'Ukyou gets Ranma'
story, after all maybe his sister could bunk with
him at his new college!"

     "At least it isn't like that 'Calvin &
Hobbes' crossover," sighed Kasumi.

     "I don't know, Genma falling into Spring of
Drowned Bad Little Boy With Overactive Imagination
seemed kind of fitting," Ukyou flipped around in
the script. She had to have a spoken line
SOMEWHERE! "And the idea of Ranma falling in
Spring Of Anthropomorphic Somewhat Wise But Mainly
Affectionate & Playful Tiger has *some* appeal."

     "You didn't have Ranma going into Hobbes mode
every time he got splashed," Kasumi rubbed her
forehead. "I kept getting pounced on by an overly
affectionate tiger begging for cookies."

     "I kept getting pounced on by an overly
affectionate tiger who thought I needed to loosen
up and play more." Nabiki sighed and studied at a
section of her script. She smiled a little,
remembering the tickle wars in that story.

     Akane smirked. "Hey, after I beat the
stuffings out of him, he *stopped* pouncing on me
and trying to get all perverted. I came out ahead
in that one."

     "Well, I wouldn't have minded getting pounced
on a few times," grumbled Ukyou. "It certainly
would have been a change of pace."

     Ranma-Hobbes pounced from his position in the
shadows. The Tickle Wars were about to resume.
=============================================
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