I've had to split this off for technical reasons from the beginning of
the story. (Darn Eudora Light...) The beginning section is little changed
from before, so it'd be a waste repeating it anyway.
   Comments welcome. Really.
   I know the Patlabor joke's been done, but I don't think anyone ever
thought of making Asuma her _younger_ brother. It's not set in the '90s so
much as "ten years in the future."

---

   Well, what do you know? Anthy left some in the pot. She thinks of everything.

   You know, maybe that means she thought I'd be shaken up tonight. But I'm
getting ahead of myself.

   2 a.m. already. Crap.

   Where was I? Right. Wakaba.

   So after school lets out I go over to Wakaba's. Real food, too, not
cafeteria food. Wakaba's dorm is fairly new, and not only do they have
air-conditioning (lucky them, it has been _hot_ this summer), but they also
have a small kitchen, so people who have allergies, or foreign students who
aren't used to the food--yeah, we've got a couple, mostly from Europe, a few
Americans, coming to study Japanese--can cook their own. Nobody likes the
dorm food much, though, so everybody ends up using it.

   Not that it matters, but it turned out Wakaba made some sushi. Really
nice, too. She put her heart and soul into it. Me I sat and did some of my
homework while she did that--not all of it of course, 'cause tonight was a
Friday, and not all our classes meet on Saturday, just the morning ones, and
Wakaba didn't take _that_ long at the sushi--and just watch. She made me
just watch. I offered to help, but she wouldn't have it.

   So she finishes the sushi and we go up to the room and go inside.

   Biiko Saito was there. Now that was normal enough by itself--Biiko's
Wakaba's roomie this year. Did I tell you that? (Her idea, not Wakaba's. She
was rooming with Eiko, but Eiko's a real slob and a pain to live with too.
She--Biiko that is--got assigned to Wakaba when I was moved out at the last
minute when school started.) But we open the door and there she is and
Wakaba's like, "Oh, Biiko, hi, didn't you go to theater club yet?"

   And Biiko's like, "Well..." and then she sees it's _me_, and she says
really weird-like, "Truth is, I was just leaving now, um, hi, Utena, sorry
about today, tell Anthy I'm sorry too, bye," like that, and she almost runs
out of the room. I guess I must have been staring after her, because Wakaba
dragged me into the room, going, "Are you coming in or not?"

   So I go in, and we split the sushi, and she makes me some tea to wash it
down with. Green tea, not the black tea Anthy always serves. Talk about
traditionally Japanese--as unlike Anthy as you can get, I thought
afterwards. Was that intentional, I'm wondering now? I don't know, I didn't
ask. I didn't think of it then, even. Maybe I'm paranoid, is all.

   We split the sushi, and she puts on the TV and makes me watch a show
called _His Secret Her Secret_. High school comedy. Animated. Girl meets
boy, girl's a real freak, guy has deep dark secrets, it's love. That sort of
thing. Anyway, that doesn't matter. Point is, the show's over and the
credits roll, and it says "Director: Hideaki Anno" and Wakaba's like,
"That's really _weird_, huh?"

   And I'm like, "What is?"

   And she's like, "That guy directed stuff like _Neon Genesis Evangelion,_
and now he's doing sweet stuff like _His 'n Hers_. Isn't that _weird_?"

   "I guess. I never watched _Eva_." Which was true. All I knew about it was
that it was about giant robots and the ending sucked, and I only knew the
last thing because the Three Stooges were bitching about it the next day.

   "Oh you have no idea. It was so _cool_! And there are people in it who
are _just_ like the people at school! I'm like, I _know_ these people!" she
says.

   And I'm like, "Uh-huh..."

   "Like Asuka. She's one of the pilots. She is _so_ like Nanami Kiryu it's
not even _funny_! I mean, she isn't white or anything like Asuka--Nanami I
mean--but the way she thinks she's all that, they're _exactly_ the same. Oh!
Oh! Even better. Rei Ayanami. She's another pilot. _Really_ creepy. It turns
out she's a clone or something, but that doesn't matter. She never talks and
she looks really weird too. Freaks everyone out, especially Asuka. She is
_so_ like--"

   "Anthy?" I asked.

   "Yeah! _Exactly_ like her. You took the words right out of my mouth!" She
giggled. "Hey," she suddenly said in a conspiratorial tone, "you know the
forest on campus that nobody's allowed in? I was thinking, what if there's a
secret lab there where, like, they make clones of Anthy? Wouldn't that be--"

   My chopsticks snapped in my hand. She took that as a hint.

   "Oops." She covered her mouth, like she was trying to stuff the words
back inside.

   I tried to restrain myself. I was thinking, I will not lose my temper. I
will not slap Wakaba. I will not punch her lights out. I will not...

   I managed it. Couldn't unclench my fist, though.

   So I said, "Wakaba. Tell me something. What the hell is this? National
Pick on Anthy Week?"

   "I'm sorry..."

   That did it.

   "You're sorry? You're SORRY!?" That was me gone. I didn't have to slap
her--the tone was enough to make her recoil. "Sorry you opened your big
mouth, you mean!--Now you listen and you listen good, God knows I'm used to
seeing people make fun of Anthy, God knows I'm used to seeing them trying to
make her life miserable, I don't know why, but where the hell _you_ and you
call yourself my friend mind you where _you_ get off saying things like that
to me about her to my _face_--"

   "They went easy on you." She said that through her hands, which she was
using to hide her face. (From slaps? From blows?)

   "What?"

   "You should hear them when you're not there..."

   "No, I don't..."

   She came out from behind her shield. "Biiko told me not to tell you this,
but I guess I'd better now. You know what Eiko said about a play about you
and Anthy? She's for real."

   "_Really._"

   "Yes." Her voice was quavering a bit. "I don't know about the Princess
Moonlight thing, but Biiko said Eiko was going to write one of those
shadow-plays for the school festival about, and I swear she said this,
'Utena's prince.' This was a few days ago. She said she tried to talk Eiko
out of it, because she thought it was real mean, but you might as well talk
to a brick wall than tell Eiko anything, she said, and apparently Eiko said,
'Everybody else will laugh, so who cares?'"

   Did I ever tell you about Eiko's shadow plays? I don't think I did, so I
will now. Apparently she's a real genius. She's been putting on plays with
shadow puppets--writing them and directing them--since she was eight, or so
I heard. Her mom used to be a actor, I think. Anyway, she's been in charge
of the theater club here for two years--apparently the school, including the
principal, begged her to enroll. Every term or so she writes a
play--actually more like sketches--about goings-on around the school and the
city of East Ohtori and the club puts it on using her puppets. People love
it--matter of fact the kids at the school paper hate it because she can say
stuff that they can't, and then people go, "I can't wait for Eiko to give us
the real deal." She changes things around so the teachers won't catch on, of
course. Which is bad, because she makes fun of them, but also students--and
sometimes she's really nasty about it too. When people make fools of
themselves around here, they just got to hope and pray Eiko doesn't get wind
of it, because you might end up in the next performance. 

   I knew Eiko doesn't care if she hurts people's feeling. Everyone does.
She even boasts about it. Probably thinks it's her duty to express herself,
or something, though I sometimes think she just likes making fun of people
who aren't artists or smart like her. Outside her little theater club clique
nobody really likes her, even though they love the plays, because it's an
excuse to twist the knife in public. They're kind of afraid of her, really.
I'm so glad Micky's not like that. He's smart, but he's really nice.

   Man, I wrote a lot about that, didn't I?

   Point is, I was not looking forward to Eiko's next play.

   "Oh yeah? Well, she won't be laughing when I--"

   And suddenly it was Wakaba yelling at me.

   "Don't you get it at _all_? People _laugh_ at you and Anthy behind your
back! Oh I know. You got used to your adoring fans saying you were cool,
right? Well, they don't think so any more. Now you just freak them out, so
they make fun of you, and they laugh at _me_ because I hang out with you,
even though I practically had to _drag_ you away from Anthy to get you to
come here. But you don't care about that at all as long as they Anthy's
happy, right?"

   "Um...are we talking about the same girls who all but demand to be the
mother of my children whenever I pass by?" Call me naive if you want, but...

   "_Especially_ them. And the thing is, you actually buy it, waving and
going"--and Wakaba put on a really deep voice here--it was all I could do
not to laugh in spite of myself--"'Well, hello there, my dears!' like a
complete _dork_! You really think they mean it? No. That's not true. They
used to mean it, anyway. They don't any more. Now the moment you're out of
earshot they laugh their heads off because you're such a freak! Are you that
dumb you can't figure that out?"

   "Now look, Wakaba, aren't you exagger--"

   "No, you look! You think people make fun of Anthy just 'cause she's
there? They do it for a reason!"

   My cue to go back on the offensive. "Oh. Right. I see. I guess you think
that makes it all right, then, huh, is that it?"

   "No! No! Look, I'm sorry about what I said, really, that was real
uncalled for, but that's not the point--"

   "And what is the point?"

   "The point is people pick on Anthy and make fun of her because she really
_scares_ them! You don't think  she's _scary_?"

   "No, I don't think she's scary, Wakaba," I said, as precisely as I could,
"I happen to think she's a very nice and very sweet girl. She's a little
shy, that's _all_. She acts a little weird, sure, but that's because she
doesn't have any friends. I'm trying to help her make friends and stuff, and
I admit it'll take a lot of work, but..."

   "No. She has no friends because she's--no, she's not weird. I'm a girl
and I watch _Eva,_ I'm weird. You're weird, a good kind of weird, or you
used to be. She's _scary_. I mean, have you ever seen the way she looks at
people?"

   "No, even though I've lived with her all term. What the hell is that
supposed to mean? Okay, she zones out now and again, or seems to, but--"

   "No, Utena, she does not 'zone out.' She _looks_ at you really really
detached like, like you were one of her flowers or a bug or
something--Utena, haven't you ever noticed how she _talks_ to people? It's
like she's a princess and you're a servant--no, that's not it--like to a
kid--yeah!--like to a child or an _animal_ or something like that,like she
was some sorta superior being! She talks to _you_ like you were that darn
monkey of hers--is she even allowed have that thing as a pet?--and you don't
even seem to notice! Oh yeah. Tell me. Is it true she keeps a mongoose in
her desk drawer like I heard?"

   "Yeah. I told her not to, but she wouldn't listen. She does whatever the
heck she wants. It's true, I don't know what she's thinking sometimes. Your
point?"

   "I mean, where the heck does it go to the bathroom?"

   "Ha ha. You think that's funny too?"

   "No! I think that's creepy! And really cruel too! Nice! She's not nice at
all! You know what, Utena? I think she's just using you to defend her from
Nanami and Saionji and them, like a hired thug or guard dog or--or--or
something! I don't think she cares about you at all! You told me _yourself_
she called Chuchu 'her friend.' I'm thinking, what does that mean? That to
her Utena's no better than _Chuchu_, for God's sake?" 

   Yes, I _had_ just about had it. Probably because what made too much sense. 

   I stood up and had a good long stretch, as dramatically as possible. 

   "Bullshit," I said. "I don't need this. I'm leaving. Wakaba, get help.
See you at class tomorrow, or not. Thanks for the food."

   And I started for the door. Only I never got there, at least not then,
because Wakaba jumped up, somehow got around me and actually *threw* herself
in front of the door. I guess all that practice jumping on me paid off.

   "No!" she said. There were tears in her eyes. "You're not going back to
her! I don't know what she's doing to you, but I'm not letting you go back
there!"

   "Wakaba. She's not doing anything to me. Now stop being a baby and let me
out. You can't keep me here all night you know. Look," I had to ask, "are
you jealous of her or something? Is that it? Because Saionji likes her
instead of you, and now I'm her friend? Huh?"

   "No!--Yes!--No!--I don't know! I--Utena, I'm worried *sick* about you, do
you know that? You're like--" then the deep voice again--"'I, Prince Utena,
will save Princess Anthy!' I don't see as you're changing her at all! I
think she's changing _you_, and it's freaking me out!"

   "How have I changed that freaks you out? I don't--"

   "I mean--I mean--we used to be together all the time, Utena..." She
didn't seem angry any more. Just sad. "You, me, our friends, we did
everything together. Now it's Anthy, Anthy, Anthy all the time. I had to
practically drag you up here by your _hair_! It's always Anthy and those
jerks on the student council who are always hanging around her. Saionji.
Toga Kiryu. Micky and those. What's so great about them anyway? I mean I
_know_ Toga Kiryu ticks you off."

   "What, now you don't like Micky either?"

   "No! No! He's nice. Yeah, you're right, he's nice. But...it's
like...you're different, Utena. You sacred me today. You never used to talk
to me like this. Anyone says a word about Anthy and you freak like they
insulted your mother or your religion or...wait. I've got it. Utena, has
Anthy got you mixed up in some sort of cult?"

   A cult. The cult of the Rose Goddess. I admit I'd never thought of the
duels that way. Everything about it was like out of a myth. Humans battling
for and praying for the favors of spernatural beings, like all that
mythology we'd been reading. The power of Dios slept in Anthy. Did that make
her a priestess of some sort, or a...

   I just laughed. "A cult? Wakaba, now you really are being paranoid. Let
me out."

   She folded her arms in her seat in front of the door, stuck her nose in
the air. "Changes in behavior, adoption of a radically different set of
friends. Sure signs of a victim of a cult. Or drug abuse. Mom said so. She
saw it on TV and she warned me when I came here not to get involved in cults
and no way am I going to let you!" For just a moment she was Wakaba again.

   "Oh, right. Can you imagine me or Saionji or Micky shaving our heads and
standing on street corners chanting and handing out pamphlets saying 'Anthy
saves' to passers-by?"

   She got angry again. "I'm serious!"

   "Let me through, Wakaba."

   "Don't you see? Your whole life seems to revolves around her. Like you're
obsessed, or something. And the more obsessed you get the meaner you get.
It's like--you never used to slap people like that. Why do you think Biiko
ran out of the room? She was _frightened_, dammit!"

   "Don't swear, Wakaba, it doesn't suit you."

   "It's like--it's not _you_ any more, it's like you're a whole different
person, or there's a different mind in your body, like _Invasion of the Body
Snatchers_. You know what? If it turned out that Anthy really was from the
moon and she was controlling your mind and using you to prepare to invade
the earth I'd just say I saw it coming long ago!"

   "It is to laugh. Get out of my way, Wakaba," I said, with a coldness that
once I heard it in my ears scared even me. 

   But I didn't let it bother me. Or something in me didn't want to be
bothered. I moved towards her.

   But she just kept going. Myabe she was afraid if she stopped she'd never
get another chance to say everything. Mind you I could have just pushed her
out of the way--she's much lighter than I am--but I couldn't bring myself to
do it. Maybe because deep down I knew she had a point? Maybe.

   "Thing is, It's not just you. It's everybody in that clique she hangs
around, or hangs around her, more like. Lately you've--been getting that
look in your eyes that Saionji has, or even Micky. Yeah,. I know, he's
really nice, but--when he challenged you to that duel the other day. I knew
it was about Anthy, somehow, because he had that look in his eyes that
Saionji had..."

   That wasn't so paranoid as naive I thought. So naive I couldn't stay too
mad. Just as well really. I took a deep breath and I said something like this:

   "Look, Wakaba, some things you need to know. Guess I should have told you
before. First, I wish it weren't so, but the fact is if anything Anthy's
fixated on _me._" I told her as much of the truth as I thought was relevant
and I thought she'd believe. "She was dating Saionji and he was treating her
like crap, you remember, right? So when I went and read him the riot act
about pinning your letter up on the bulletin board--" She nodded. "--It
turned out he wouldn't give me the time of day unless I challenged him to a
duel. I won, somehow, and I guess she was so impressed that she got the
courage to dump him. Thing is, now she seems to think it's her duty to be
some sort of servant to me or something. Or she says it is. You've heard how
she calls me 'Miss Utena,' right?"

   Wakaba nodded again. She was a little calmer now. A very little.

   So I went on. "I don't know how she did it, but she even managed to talk
the school into changing our dorm assignments so we'd be living together.
She seems to know Toga pretty well, maybe he put a word in their ear. Or had
Julie Arisugawa scare them a little." 

   I chuckled. Wakaba didn't. So it wasn't funny, fine, but I had to try.

   "I'm as nice about it as I can be, but--I guess you're right--it does
freak me out a little, too. I'm always telling her not to call me 'miss,'
but she does anyway. You have no idea how I've gotten on her case about
that, or trying to make friends. She won't go out or talk to people unless I
tell her it's okay. I really do think it's an act she puts on, because she
does all this stuff even when I tell her not to. I dn't know why she does
all that, and she's not telling. I don't know--maybe she _is_ screwed up
somehow. I'm trying to get her to be normal, but it's going to take a lot of
work. Does that make any sense?"

   Wakaba stood up.

   "What about Micky?"

   "Micky has a crush on Anthy. That's all. She reminds him of his sister,
or something, or so he says. He picked a fight with me to impress Anthy. It
didn't work. End of story."

   "A crush, huh?"

   And she started to giggle, a really weird sort of giggle, which she was
clearly trying to stifle and not succeeding. I felt myself getting angry again.

   "What's funny now?"

   "You reminded me of something, Utena, thanks...can't believe I didn't see
it sooner..." She was still giggling, but she wouldn't lok me in the eye.

   "Really."

   "Yeah, really." Now she looked up, a weird grin on her face. "I'd totally
forgotten. I was saying a minute ago that you had a look in your eye like
Micky, and you said that Micky had a crush and it just sort of clicked..."

   "What clicked?"

   "Oh nothing. Just that the girls are saying all the time that you and
Anthy were--" She stopped suddenly; the grin vanished. "No wait, that's not
true, I know that's not true, oh I'm so sorry Utena, that was really
uncalled for, I shouldn't listen should I..."

   Just that frightened me. But I asked anyway. "Anthy and I are _what_?"

   "Lk jl rsgwa."

   "What?"

   "Like jl arsgwa."

   "Spit it out!"

   "Like Julie Arisugawa, darnit!"

   "Like Julie Arisugawa? How am I like Julie Arisugawa? I've heard a lot
about Julie Arisugawa, and I don't know what you mean. I can't stare down a
teacher, I wish I could. I wouldn't mind being able to fence as well as she
does. So how am I like Julie Arisugawa?"

   Yes, I was playing dumb. Do you blame me? I mean, I told you the "other"
rumors about Julie, but like I said I never believed them myself until that
time we met in the courtyard the night we duelled and she looked at me _like
that_, just for a second, but long enough for it to make sense. Besides,
even though there wasn't much chance Wakaba meant anything else, but where
there's life there's hope...

   Wakaba wasn't buying it though. She went back on the offensive. 

   "Duh! You mean you don't know? Everyone's heard about how
she...she...doesn't like boys, and how she was friends with this girl who
started dating a boy on the fencing team before we started here, and she was
so jealous she terrorized them into leaving the school. There's this girl I
know on the team, who said she still obsesses over that girl and like, keeps
her picture in a locket which she wears over her heart or something, and
then she said, and I swear I'm not kidding, 'Hey Wakaba, that sounds like
your friend Utena, maybe you should keep away from her!'"

   "What girl you know on the team? Did she say what the name of the girl
was she was 'obsessing' about?"

   Wakaba went from angry to upset. Really quickly too. "Um...no. You don't
believe me, do you?"

   "Wakaba, let me tell you something. They say Julie Arisugawa is a dyke
because she's good at sports and because she doesn't date and the guys get
angry about that, becuase they can't imagine why. They think it's her, when
the fact is they're morons. I wouldn't give them the time of day either.
Maybe she just hasn't met Mr. Right yet. That never occur to you?" I could
say that convincingly, or in what sounded to me like a convincing voice,
because it was what I used to tell myself. "Heck, I've had guys call _me_ a
lesbian _to my face_ for the same reason. You were there a couple of times,
even, and you got upset and I kicked their butts and we all lived happily
ever after. Don't you remember?"

   Wakaba hung her head again. "That was different. That was just the guys
trying to be funny, I know that now. This time it's the girls, and they mean
it. I _know_ it's not true, but they say it over and over and after a while
you start to believe it yourself..."

   "Wakaba." Now I was scolding her, like my mom used to scold me. I wasn't
as angry as I should have been, I suppose. Maybe I was just running out of
energy for it. "Do you really believe that? You'd believe them before you
believe me?"

   "No!...I don't know...I...Utena, I've been trying to defend you when you
weren't around, telling them no, she's still Utena, but...

   "And how is this different from me defending Anthy, I'd like to know?"

   "Because I wasn't slapping them! Or picking fights or...that's just
_mean_! I mean Anthy acts strange, I knew that, you just said so. But you
weren't like that, I thought, and I said so, but all you seemed to do was
hang around Anthy all the time and start getting weird like her and I
started worrying myself sick over you and you didn't seem to notice or even
care...maybe you don't care, but I do, but what do I know, I'm only your
best friend..."

   She couldn't say any more. Just then she started to cry. Not the silly
"oh no, I failed the test, my life is over" crying, but real tears. When
that happens, and it isn't often, you know she means it. I thought my heart
would break right there.

   I went over to the TV and switched it off. I knelt down by her.

   "You really worry about me?" Really softly now.

   "Mm-hmm."

   "Why?"

   "I dunno. Just a bad feeling, I guess...like something's wrong..."

   I sat beside her and held her hand. She leaned on me a little.

   "Have I been neglecting you lately, Princess Onion?"

   She giggled. Couldn't hurt, I thought, to get her to laugh a little.
"Yeah, just a bit..."

   "Look, I got a little carried away today."

   "Yeah. I guess everybody did..."

   "When does Biiko come back from theater club, usually?"

   "Before curfew. Like, 9:30." (Curfew's 10:30. We all have to be in our
rooms and quiet by then. There's nobody but me and Anthy at East Dorm, so we
can go whenever, but in Wakaba's dorm they make it stick.)

   "You want I should stay here 'til she comes back and say I'm sorry? I
guess I was real bitch today..."

   "Sure. I'd like that."

   We were quiet for a minute. Wakaba had her eyes closed, smiling
peacefully. Me I was thinking about everything. About mythology, cults, and
madness. About Julie, too.

   Something else was bothering me.

   "Wakaba?"

   "Hmm?"

   "Since when are you into giant robots?"

   She perked up. "Didn't I tell you? My dad designs them for a living. He's
really smart. His firm even gets government contracts, all very hush-hush.
He's actually thinking of leaving and starting his own firm just to design
and make robots. He says he's planning to design a robot for police patrols,
like a cross between a robot and a police car, and mom says that's science
fiction, but then he'll say stuff like," then she puts on this expression
and this voice, impersonating her dad I suppose, "'Such things are science
fiction today, but in 10 years, maybe not!' He's so cool! My little brother
says he wants to drive one when he grows up. Isn't that sweet? So we're all
into robots in our family really, except for mom. She thinks we're crazy.
But I've kinda grown up around robots and drawings of robots and I just
*love* 'em!"

   You could almost see love-hearts in her eyes. It was unreal. Normally she
only got this mega-happy over me.

   So I'm like, "We were roomies all last year. I never saw you watch
_Evangelion._"

   "I had the Three Stooges record it for me and I watched it later. I
figured you wouldn't like it. 'Sides, mom always said a girl's got to have
her secrets, right? Say, you want to see some pictures of stuff he's
designed? It's _really_ cool!"

   Under the circumstances I think I had a good reason for tuning her out
for the next three hours.

   It's really stuffy in here. Hot too. I really wish we had air
conditioning here.

   I'm going to move outside and get some air. The balcony has an electric
light, so I can get enough light to see, and there's a table to write on.
Need some more tea too.

---

   3 o'clock. Actually nearer 3:15. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow
morning, let me tell you.

   Well, I started, I may as well finish. It just occurred to me I haven't
even started telling you what I wanted to tell you about what Anthy did
tonight. You must be getting really bored. Don't worry, I'll get there. I'd
better, or I know I won't sleep at all--much less be able to face Anthy in
the morning.

   So I hang around, and we watch some more TV, and Wakaba bores me silly
with pictures of robots and exoskeletons and God knows what else, 'til Biiko
comes home around 9:30. So I tell her I'm sorry, which I wa, and she says
it's okay, which I could tell from her face it wasn't really, but I don't
think she was scared of me so much any more, so that was something anyway.

   So then I try to leave, but Wakaba won't let me because there's some
other robot that I've just GOT to see, and I don't manage to escape until
10:00 when visiting hours end and the dorm lady comes upstairs to throw me
out. I've never been that glad to see a dorm lady in my life. I guess Biiko
had had to liten to Wakaba's spiel about her dad before, because when she
saw the pictures he just kind of rolled her eyes and had a "oh God, not
again" look on her face. "Girl's got to have her secrets" my butt.

   Still. It did seem like Wakaba was even bouncier and full of sugar
afterwards than usual. It wasn't like she just went back into Wakaba mode
after what happened earlier. Nobody's that shallow. Maybe she thought she
had to make up for earlier? I don't know.

   So I thank Wakaba for the food and I promise to have lunch with her
tomorrow, just the two of us without Anthy (yes, she made me promise that)
and I get out of there.

   Did I mention how muggy it was today? It should have thundered and rained
really. It didn't though, which sucked, because then maybe the humidity
would have gone down a bit. It was so hot even in the morning that I didn't
bother wearing a shirt underneath my jacket, just my black tanktop. Of
course that just meant I had to keep it really tightly buttoned all day,
because if the teachers don't like my uniform, God knows what they'd do if
they saw I'd nothing on underneath, so I was just as hot as I would have
been, probably more.

   After school, though, nobody really cared. Here's the odd thing though.
Of course it wasn't as hot by 10:00 as it had been just after school when I
was going to Wakaba's, but it was only after I'd left that I felt
comfortable taking my jacket off (I tied it around my waist so I wouldn't
have to carry it). At Wakaba's I left it on the whole time. Not that there
was any point taking it off, I guess--like I said, all I had underneath was
the tanktop, and with the air conditioning going I probably would have been
freezing. But that wasn't why I didn't take it off. It may sound crazy to
you, but the idea of taking it off in Wakaba's room made me really
uncomfortable for some reason. It sounds crazy to me, too. I mean, it's not
like I never changed in the locker room right in front of her, right?

   So I take the jacket off, and I walk along. I didn't see anyone on the
way back, which suited me just fine, because I wasn't sure what I'd do if I
ran into Toga. Or Micky even worse. I'd probably have given him a heart
attack. (At least he'd have died happy, right? God, I'm disgusting...)

   I was thinking about that, and laughing to myself about it a bit, I
guess, and I pass by the courtyard and suddenly I start thinking, Oh God,
what if I ran into Julie again? And I suddenly wasn't laughing any more. I
started thinking about what Wakaba had said again.

   It scared me a little. No. Make that a lot.

   I'm not really like Julie, am I? I thought. Or Saionji? Dear God, please
tell me I'm not an obsessive maniac like Saionji. That Anthy's really just
an ordinary girl and not some sort of higher being and Saionji's crazy
because he's just like that and not her. That I'm not going crazy and Anthy
and me aren't like Julie and I just haven't figured it out yet.

   And I started saying to myself, from the courtyard all the way to the
Gate of the East Dorm, "It's not true, it's not true, it's not true, it's
not true, it's not true..." Like a chant.

   "It's not true, it's not true, it's not true, it's not--"

   But right in front of the gate I stopped, because when I looked up to the
balcony I swear I saw the Rose  Goddess "dressed as Eve" (or Aphrodite or
Venus, depending on where you have your favorite Mediterranean villa, your
Highness) and out on the second floor balcomy enjoying the summer evening.

---
Paul Corrigan
corrig11@pilot.msu.edu
Who promises to finish this turkey tomorrow or kill himself trying...