Shade <rowan-phoenix@usa.net> wrote:

Subject: [FFML][FIC][RANMA/Response]Not a Private Bet #1: Fiancee Wars (Prologue

Hiroshi: Just when you think you've seen the ultimate in subject line
clutter....

Daisuke: ...someone decides he needs to tell people what his post ISN'T.
Yeah.

Hiroshi: Why are we even reading this?

Gary: You'll see.

No really,  I have to acknowledge:

Ken Arromdee            Donny Cheng             TJ Hamilton
Sean Hayden             Ronny Hedin             Gary Kleppe
Thomas Schmidt          David Tatum             Ethan Tsai

Hiroshi: Ah, *that's* why.

for writing �Heart's Desire�, sorry people but this is my response.
Why settle for just simple C&C when you can stir the pot a little?

Daisuke: Because simple C&C might be useful to the authors?

Gary: C'mon, give him a chance here....

All other copywrited material belongs to their respected holders.

*Warning* This is not a Private Bet. It�s worse.

*Warning* This is a Spoof Parody Alternate Critique.
                (Depends on who you ask)
	      Does not necessarily reflect all of 
                 the author�s personal feelings.

*Warning* By the Laws of Chance 
                 this will most likely offend someone.
	      Flames will be drenched. Keep it civilized people.

*Warning* There are no more warnings after this. 
                 Proceed at your own risk.
~*~*~*~*~*~

Prologue: A Fanfic Menace

Hiroshi: This mailing list contains known members of the international
fanfictionist conspiracy!! I have NAMES!

Our heroes were relaxing for a moment from 
the Private Bet and enjoying some well deserved
refreshments. There had been good entries, bad entries, 
and some entries that just made roll their eyes in disbelief.

Daisuke: Like we care.

Gary: Let's skip a bit....

[snip a whole bunch of goofiness]

Ranma.......AND AKANE!!??
A KOTTF ruining the lives of Ukyo and Shampoo??!!!
KODACHI as a GODDESS???!!!
Sacrilege!!! 

Liquor and various assorted beverages spewed as 
the stunned audience performed a collective spit take 
the likes of which had never been seen before or since.

�OH MY GODDESS! They�re out of character!!!�

Gary: See, that's a valid kind of criticism. Maybe this isn't going to
be so bad.

Daisuke: Well, it WOULD be valid if he'd given us any details to go on.
WHO does he think is out of character? Where? And what does he think
they WOULD have done?

Gary: Um... maybe that's coming up.

Hiroshi: Well, for one, I think Kodachi's wish was OOC. She should have
said, "I wish to become Hiroshi Chapatsu's love slave!"

[Hiroshi gets whapped as we snip more goofiness]

�We�ve got an illegal violation of continuity 
regulation 23B subclause 11 paragraph 5 regarding 
crossdimensional alignment.�

Shade grimaced. Otaku SI�s always left 
a bad taste in his mouth.

�So in other words someone�s screwed around 
with the characters personalities and basically
made a mess of things with help from my eternal 
opponents, the KOTTF.�

�Bingo.� 

�Hey!! I�m a member of the KOTTF!!�
A voice squeeked out from the back of the crowd.

*BLAM*

*HISSSS**THUNK*

Gary: Oh, my. What a mature response. This person has certainly managed
to convince me of the rightness of his position, yes he has.

Hiroshi: Hey, don't knock it. Violence is cool. Maybe if we just shot
people who disagreed with us instead of trying to peacefully work out
our differences, we'd get some chicks once in a while.

�Arrrgggh.......�
A boggle with an �Akane is the only one� button
fell on its back. A steaming hole was burned through the 
middle of its forehead and a crossbow bolt embedded in its heart.

Shadow whistled innocently as he reholstered his sidearm.
The Guardian did his best to hide the fact that he had a 
large autocrossbow behind his back.

�Anyone else here an Akane fan?�

Gary: ME!!! Over here! Yo! Hey! Me! Me! Me!

Daisuke: Me too!

Hiroshi: Me three!

As one the entire gathering shook their head. 
Good riddance.

Shade sighed.

�Okay, I�ll help you. But no more killing and keep the insults 
to the enemy to a minimum. The last thing we need is 
for another Fiancee War to break out. That means you Shadow!�

�Oh pooh! Spoil all my fun why don�t you.�
~~~~~~~~~~
-A little later

They watched as Akane got to look into Ranma�s heart and soul.
Then they saw her still beat the crap out of him anyway.

�What a....� The Guardian was having trouble coming up 
with an adaquate discription for this black haired and equally 
black hearted.......

�Living waste of resources.� Shadow scowled as the 
Tendo bimbo made a painful farewell between Ukyo 
and Ranma even more heartbreaking.

Gary: And blah blah blah. You ever gonna tell us what you think was
wrong with our fic, or is this post just an excuse for childish
character insults?

�Yeah! Exactly!!� 

�Cute.� Violet eyes narrowed.

�And on that path, you and Akane will
marry and be in love- truly in love- 
for the rest of your relatively long lives. 

�Of course notice that he never said relative to what.
Compared to a fruitfly�s life span their brief and 
bitter marriage is long. Also notice that nothing is 
said about how well the married life would be, strong 
love doesn�t neccessarily mean a perfect relationship.�

��The Bitter End� proved that one. Not to mention the 
little details such as that if Ranma married Shampoo in the 
second timeline they�d all be better off, Akane would finally 
have to grow up and Ukyo would have her heart�s desire at last.�

Gary: Bitter End didn't prove anything. It's a fic, not canon, and its
conclusion is based on some HIGHLY questionable assumptions, not to
mention blatant double standards.

Daisuke: Of course, to be fair, the very same thing could be said about
this chapter of HD.

Hiroshi: That's true. The stuff about Ranma's destiny *was* pretty far
out. Still, if I were to choose between this chapter and BE -- not a
choice I'd like to make, mind you -- I'd say this is a little closer to
the spirit of Takahashi. She did call Ranma and Akane "the only true
couple in the series."

[snip more stuff that has nothing to do with the fic]

Gary: Okay... how can we respond to this?

Hiroshi: We certainly don't begrudge you the right to make negative
criticism.

Daisuke: On the contrary, we welcome it. Some of the most useful
feedback an author can get is to find out why someone disliked his or
her work.

Hiroshi: But you've given us very little to go on here. You've told us
very little about *why* you disliked this so much.

Gary: Right. If I may make a suggestion, drop all the goofing around
with your own characters; it's not that amusing, frankly. Tell us what
you didn't like about our story, and why, and we promise we'll listen.
Who knows, we might even agree with you.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html