First off, thanks very much for the detailed C&C! My cohorts may want to
jump in for some of this, but in the meantime....

Douglas MacDougall <dougmacd@thecia.net> wrote:

       The first thing to come to mind, as it was all too often, was Ranma.
She thought she might be in love with him.  Should she spend her
wish to make him hers forever?  A part of Akane shouted no, that she
shouldn't waste her wish on that pervert; another part shouted yes,
that there was nothing she wanted more.  But the frightening thought
was that she might already have him.  Whenever she considered the

Heh.  And how frightening is it, Akane?

Imagine a lifetime of picking up Ranma's toenail clippings... *shudder*

       She could do something about Ranma's other fiancees.  See how
Shampoo likes being a cat all the time, or Ukyou being a real man.

The power.  Oh... yesssss!

...she thought, not realizing that *other* people would soon have their
turns....

Akane giggled, shaking her head.  She would never do that.  She wasn't
the vindictive sort; she didn't really want to hurt anyone, just to

"I only hit Ranma becuase he deserves it!"  :)

She doesn't plan that, it just... happens. ^_-

       Kunou?  Akane dismissed the idea.  Her sisters?  Here was some room
for improvement, she thought.  Kasumi was a few cards short of a full
deck, Nabiki as cold as ice, and as for herself, well, she had real

I'm not sure I agree with the characterization of Nabiki as cold as ice.
I picture her as something of a hedonist, really.

I wouldn't say I do either, but then, this is Akane's opinion.

I remember reading another story where Nodoka reframed the peices of the
Nanban mirror into personal mirrors for "Ranma's women."  Everyone wanted
to see the future "where they married Ranma."  Everyone except Akane, who
wanted to see the future where everyone was happy.

I think I'd trust Akane the most with a wish.

Well, I would too, but to be fair, that fic (Deep Reflections by SKJAM)
isn't canon, and one could just as easily write one the other way.

This is probably one of the best peices in the collection.  That might in
part be due to the fact that this author didn't have to work with anybody
else's results, and so was able to create a stand alone peice.

That's true. In fact, this one was initially written to be a
stand-alone, and has appeared on FFML and RAAC before.

       Then when Mrs. Tendo met Ranma, all she could do was keep asking
questions. Did he make good greades in school? What did he plan to do

Grades

D'Oh! Something like five people have already pointed this out, and it
still managed to stay uncorrected.

       "Yeah." A voice came from behind. "I hear he even talks to
himself!"

This quote's a little weird.  I suppose he's insulting Ranma talking out
loud, but Ryoga really *does* talk to himself...

Just a bit of fun at his rival's expense.

       Deciding it would be a good idea to stop and try to ask for
directions again, he approached a nearby teenage girl. "Excuse me, could

You know, it might be a little more fair to the readers to describe this
"teenage girl"...

Good point.

       "So I would have to...." Tsubasa looked thoughtful for a moment.
"On second thought, darling Akane is the one I really love."

I'm glad to see an accurate depiction of Tsubasa.  He doesn't obsess over
Ukyo; he obsesses over every cute girl he meets!

Yeah, but only one at a time! Anyway, this is the way I've always
written him.

So originally, Akane just made a wish.  Now the locket talks to Ryoga.
Hmmm.  This implementation of this plot device probably should have
been better thought out.

Maybe. I figure that the locket wants people to make wishes on it, and
will do what's necessary -- in Akane's case, she already knew what it
could do.

Well, it looks like Ryoga grew up after the events at Jusendo.  Or maybe
after he tried to win Akane's love with the koi fishing rod, and seeing
what it got him.  ;)

He was actually quite a bit more mellowed out towards Akane by the end
of the series. When she was nearly dead, he didn't even jump up to
throttle Ranma; he just stood by.

Good move.  Now you don't have to worry about a later author dumping you
into Spring of Drowned Girl.  :j

Hmmm... probably been done. :)

Cute.  Appropriate behavior for Ryoga, and you explained how Tsubasa got
a hold of his diguise.

Heh. Though how he fit into it is another question.... :)

Chapter 3: Hikaru Gosunkugi
A Sorcerer's Dream

[...]

Okay.  No comments.  I just don't like this part.  It's dark, and it
portrays Hikaru as some sort of magician wannabe.  Is there any evidence
of this in anime or manga?

Not other than him carrying around the candles and trying to use voodoo
on Ranma, no. It's a fanfic cliche, I guess.

       Mousse sighed as his mind went into a mental rewind of the past
twenty-four hours.  After the funeral of the Gosunkugi boy, he'd
returned to the restaurant to work his usual shift.  Shampoo was as
boisterous and as bubbly as ever, though in retrospect he found it
horribly annoying -- her normally educated Chinese traded for the

Why would he suddenly find it annoying?

Presumably because his wish has made him see things differently?

I agree with Mousse's statements, but I'm wondering why Ranma suddenly
wants to get Shampoo away.

You know, I'm guessing that Gary didn't write this part.  :j

How'd ya guess? :) (Now which part(s) *did* I write? ^_^)

       "I know because I granted your wish."

Consider my amulet inconsistency remark restated.

Point taken. With nine authors and no editorial control, consistency is
bound to be pretty hard to maintain.

Just how many mind-altering Amazon spices are there, anyway?  Like, zero?
There was the kairaishi mushroom, but it isn't a spice, nor did it sound
particularly Amazon.  (Shampoo bought it from a restaurant supplier!)

I thought Cologne said that there *weren't* any such drugs like that; if
there were, she and Shampoo would have used them on Ranma.

I agree with you; this is a fanfic convention that pretty surely isn't
true in the canon. Still, Mousse only says this, and the spices never
get used, so it could be that Cologne's been giving Mousse some wrong
information and the spices are actually harmless.

The locket's got another M.O, I see.
Genie of the locket, meet "Genie of the Ring"...

Heh. I'm still working on my own Ranma-genie story....

Another mixed bag.  I like Akane and Ryoga's stories, and Shampoo's was
pretty good, but I couldn't deal with Gos or Mousse's.  Not for any technical
reason; I just don't buy the premises.

That's cool. With so many different authors and stories, I'd be
surprised if anyone liked them all. Thanks again for the comments!


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html