You wrote:

At last. Here's the end.

Yatta!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Because you wanted to impress everyone by making them think I'm your
date?"

"Nope."

"Because I was the only one around that could possibly locate where the
wedding is being held in time for you to attend?"

"Bingo."

Because he's one of the people from TWPOS that is both willing ahnd able
to
lead her there but also a person she wouldn't mind seeing barbequed in the
chaos that inevitably finds Ranma and Shampoo.

% Nah. He has the annoying ability to avoid even seemingly certain death.
No one actual counts on him dying any more, no matter how bad the
situation could become.

over each one. The girl would have been satisfactory under normal
circumstances, but the man next to her was the real  prize. He was

little

more a hormone on two legs, veritably oozing feelings of lust and
deception. It gave out a tiny, delighted war cry and plunged directly

into

D'Amour's head, disappearing from sight. The instant it was inside, the
tiny oni became overwhelmed by the raw emotions pouring from the man. It
would reach its supreme power in less than a day by feeding off of him.

Bad mistake bub, almost as bad as if it had chose Happosai.

%Heh. Even worse, as you learn.

[What are you doing in here?]

The oni froze in horror. Something within the human's mind was...talking
to him? That wasn't possible. Only the victim's mind should have been
capable of direct communication within. Even in cases of those with
multiple personality disorders, the voice was still from the same mind.
And to make matters worse, the other voice was preventing him from

drawing

power from the victim.

[Oh, an oni. Heh. Go right ahead and take what you like, although I
suspect you've bitten off more than even you can chew.]

The plot thickens.......

% Yep. More on D'Amour, the little voice, and the origin of TWPOS in the
sequal. That much I do know.

Abruptly, the oni burst forth from the captain's head, four times its
original size and glowing blue. It hovered directly over him as it

shouted

out, "Too much lechery.... even for me... can't contain i-" the rest was
lost as the oni detonated directly over the captain.

o/o Amazing grace,how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like
me............ o/o

% Heh

"Unca Shanpoo. Hug!" Akira looked up to Shampoo, holding his own arms
expectedly. He was not disappointed as Shampoo picked him up and gave

him

a great, big hug.

I wonder if Akira empathically knows that Shampoo is his *ahem* father.
Hmmm...Nah......

% Nope. The little bugger isn't psychic in the least. He just wanted a hug
from his favorite 'Unca.' ^_^

"She's going to be Shampoo Saotome after today," Ranma informed her as

he

persuaded Shampoo to release him before she wrinkled his suit.

"I still think Ranma Pu has a better ring to it." Shampoo gave her

fianc�

Bwa hahaha! Ranma Pu? Ha hahahahaha! That's soooo cute!

% Heh. Thanks.

"Then I've come at just the right time," Nabiki said, her eyes fairly
glinting in the light of the hall. Both Ranma and Shampoo sensed that

they

had somehow just walked into the trap, whatever it was.

Wait a minute, I don't remember them being that hostile to Nabiki. Oh
yeah,
Nabiki hates them for hurting Akane. Never mind.

%She doesn't hate them. She's cynical enough to write off the whole thing
as just a failed romance for Akane's youth. She's here now because they
are still a couple of her favorite marks to fleece, and both Ranma and
Shampoo instinctively know it. Distance is no form of protection from
Nabiki Tendo. ^_^


didn't get a chance

to actually buy you something, since my invitation didn't arrive, so I
figured out something else." She brought out an official-looking

document

and handed it to Ranma.

The first thing Ranma noticed were the two dotted lines on the bottom.
"We're not signing our souls over to you."

Sign a contract with Nabiki and your soul is not the only thing you'll
have
to worry about.

%Heh.

"And you'll be getting how much of our money?" Ranma asked.

"Only a standard agent's fee."

"Which would be...?" Shampoo continued, waiting for the other shoe to
fall.

"A nominal sum."

"Which would be...?" Shampoo pressed.

"Only fifty percent."

"HALF?!" Ranma and Shampoo spluttered out as one.

Nabiki's becoming a nastier character in the next storyline isn't she?

% Nah. She doesn't have a part to play, really, although I ought to write
what happens to her and Birdy in the future. Maybe I'll stick it in the
end notes section. Still got a lot of work to do on that.

Ranma and Shampoo shrugged and let the matter rest. They were just about
to ask Kasumi something when a short, brown-haired girl approached them

"Hello, Kurumi," Kasumi said as her adopted sister approached.

By the end of the day, the Saotome clan will fall at her feet, postrating
themselves before the Grandmistress of Martial Arts Food Inhalation.

%Wahahah! I hadn't thought of that. Maybe I should try to have them some
of them become her students in that particular art. ^_^

Kasumi properly introduced her sister to Ranma and Shampoo, who, in

turn,

bowed before her. Shampoo quickly noticed the girl seeming to examine

her

far more intently than Ranma.

"Is something wrong?" Shampoo asked.

Kurumi almost jumped at that. "No. I've just heard a lot about you. You
look a lot different from what I expected."

Shampoo found herself amused by that. "And what did you think I would

look

like?"

A demonic succubi like Morrigan Aesland from Darkstalkers. Evil incarnate.
A seductress of loose morals. Remember its Akane telling the story here.

% Not exactly. That would be Natsume's expectations since she and Akane
are very close. Kurumi's been listening to Kasumi's interpetation, which
means she was expecting a handsome Chinese stud. ^_^

"The most beautiful ring in the world," Shampoo cooed.

"It's crap," Nabiki corrected. "It's not even cubic zirconium. How can

you

possibly feel satisfied with a piece of junk like this?"

Can I beg a favour of you? MAKE NABIKI FALL IN LOVE. I don't care with
who.
I don't care how. Let the ice queen get some romance in her life.

% Maybe down the line.

Nabiki made a retching noise at that. "I can see it's not going to take
much to please you. You know, it's girls like you that make guys think
it's easy to satisfy a woman."

"I am easy to satisfy," Shampoo said.

<Raises eyebrow>

% Heh. That's Ranma's basic reaction to the statement too.

Nabiki was about to say something else when she felt a slight weight
settle on her head. With a growing dread, she froze. Slowly, an object
came into view from above her head.

Birdy let out a low hissing sound.

"NOOO!" Nabiki shouted as Birdy began pecking at her face.

What's the story with Birdy? Any relavation about the all-too-intelligent
ptyradectyl's true nature in the new story arc.

% I have no idea of what you mean. I think this is pretty much how all
pteradactyls would behave.

Perfume shrugged. "I had some problems a while back, but I feel a lot
better now." Perfume was as giddy as a school girl as she released her
hold on Shampoo and once again looped her arm around her escort's. "A

lot

of it is thanks to him. Meet my new boyfriend. I rescued him from his

evil

stepsisters and stepmother a few days ago. His name's Konatsu Kenzan."

At least in this reality Konatsu falls for someone that appreciates
his...unique nature.

% Heh. True. Poor guy never seems to get much attention. Even here it's
just a cameo at the end.

Perfume gave Ranma a tight smile. "He looks better in a dress than you
ever could, even as a girl."

I sense a sucker punch in that line.

% Sort of.

Ranma began to bluster at that before receiving a warning glance from
Shampoo. He had promised not to start any fights, but Perfume had to be
just so damn irritating it was nearly impossible to not pick one. He
satisfied himself with saying, "I don't wear dresses, so I couldn't

really

say."

"Perfume-sama, please." Konatsu blushed at the flattery he was

receiving.

"I'm certain Mr. Saotome would look wonderful in a dress."

"Yeah, I would," Ranma defended.

That's our Ranma, fell for it hook, line and sinker.

% Don't imply he's ugly, even when in cursed form. He'll just have to
prove you wrong. ^_^

"It looks like everything is set up really well." Perfume commented.

"Who

organized this?"

Taking that as a cue, a man, wearing a half mask and a long, billowing
black cape, slid down from a wire in the ceiling and landed next to
Perfume, scaring the life out of her.

"It was I, The Director!" Loud music blared from hidden speakers

somewhere

nearby as he bowed gracefully before the startled Amazon.

o/o Sing for me my angel of music! o/o
o/o Ah....................... o/o
(pitch rises until we hear the sound of shattering glass......that of
Shampoo's wedding ring. <Insert massive violence here>.)

 % Heh. Considering how long its been since he's appeared, I was worried
no one would remember him. Nice to see he wasn't forgotten.

Ranma considered the offer. "Let's see. We've got Nabiki trying to get

us

to model for her, and now we got an insane director trying to get us to
act."

"I think we should stick to pit fighting," said Shampoo. "I'd rather

deal

with criminals and cutthroats than Nabiki. And I still don't think I've
met anyone as insane as that director."

How about Kodachi?

% I'd rate him at least as bad.


I

just can't wait to get it over with. I keep looking over my shoulder
thinking something is going to screw it up. Something always screws

things

up." Shampoo nodded her head, mirroring the sentiment.

"So this is what my future son-in-law looks like."

Omen of Doom. It's never a good sign when Mother-In-Laws say stuff like
that.

 %You've got that right. Now neither mother is particularly pleased about
their offspring's choice of marital partner.

Ranma was so surprised by the presence of the woman that he failed to

pick

up the uneasiness in Shampoo's voice. The face may have appeared very
similar to Shampoo's, but the anger that it bore was something he had

seen

only a handful of times on the woman he had spent the last two years of
his life traveling with. And though at times Shampoo might have looked

at

him in anger, it had never been with quite the intensity he was now

being

subjected to. That was unusual, not that someone was directing anger at
him, that was something he was used to happening in a full one-third of
the people he met. No, what was curious was that he was confident he had
never met her before, and therefore she shouldn't be angry with him for
anything.

If looks could kill, all that would be left of you Ranma Saotome is a
smoking crater and a singed pigtail.

% Yep, although this time it really isn't his fault. ^_^

"There's nothing wrong with a husband that's willing to stand up to

you."

Cologne humphed. "It's all a matter of personal taste. Your grandfather
had plenty of spirit, and we loved each other very much."

"Oh yes, Mother informed me of how well you two got along," Comb said
acidly. "She said the two of you fought constantly. She told me

sometimes

home was more like a demilitarized zone."

It would have to be considering the kind of skill needed to defeat Cologne
for her hand in marriage. You know, I wonder what kind of man Cologne's
husband was.......


%Fiesty, I imagine. She took a shine to Ranma soon enough in the main
series.



From

what little my wife has told me, he always insisted he loved her and

would

never leave her. At least that was until two years later when he came
across someone else that caught his interest. He dumped Comb instantly,
breaking her heart. Rather than try to fight the new girl, or avenge her
pride, she simply left them."

If Comb ever met D'Amour, the SOB is toast.

% Funny you should say that...

without her realizing it, he thought with pride.

Ranma at last turned his gaze over to Shampoo and Comb again. The older
woman's aura had drained away and she was once again pleading with her
daughter.

"Why don't you marry a nice, quiet girl instead?"

!?!

% The Amazons don't have any rules or taboos against that sort of thing.
The ratio of women to men in the village is currently about 4 to 1, and
even at the best of times women always outnumbered men. Such relationships
have always been present, though very uncommon. And to Comb's way of
thinking, anything is better than marrying someone like Ranma. ^_^

"MOTHER! I am not marrying a woman!" Shampoo threw her hands up in
disgust. Her mother was becoming ridiculously desperate.

Comb was unrelenting as she tried using guilt as her tool. "That way you
could have children. I really want to have more grandchildren."

"I am not...what do you mean 'more grandchildren'?" That didn't make any
sense. Shampoo was an only child.

That slip of tongue is no coincidence is it?

% Actually it was, which is why Comb breaks out in a sweat. Perhaps it was
a Freudian slip, eh?

older brother quite so much.

"Narasuma. It's a good name," Nodoka said, beaming at her son in pride.
"I'm so proud of you, Ranma. I'm sure Shampoo will make you happy."

What does the name mean?

% 'Spiritless' or 'Tame' horse. I think spiritless is the more common
meaning, though. Either will work, in the kid's case.


already) a genuine

knockout. She had grown at least four inches, removing whatever baby fat
that might have been on her frame before. From what he could make out of
her form it was still the finely toned muscle that was on all the girls
that had taken martial arts cheerleading. Her face had changed as well,
her cheekbones becoming more prominent and she now seemed to be more

along

the lines of sultry instead of cute. Her bust was far more noticeable

now,

and her voice had gone from a high pitch to a far deeper and seductive
tone that even Ranma had failed to recognize as belonging to her.

>From scamp to vamp in two years? Some guys get all the luck....grumble,
grumble

%Heh. Yep. Ryoga is going to be a lucky guy. He'll have an adoring wife, a
high paying job, family, thousands of fans that love him, thousands that
will hate him, a vain arch rival that likes hot pink and will try to win
his wife away from him for decades...okay. Maybe things aren't quite
perfect, but they're close enough.

the next year or so, and you're all invited. He can even say proposal

now

without stuttering, and we can neck without him coming close to passing
out. Now all I have to do is get him prepared for the, you know, stuff
that comes after the wedding. I don't want him to bleed to death or
anything on our wedding night. Do you think I should have him donate

some

blood a few weeks beforehand, just in case he needs a transfusion?"

That probably would be prudent. I'd say six pints ought to be a safe
number.

%heh.

Aki's reaction was somewhat different. "How did you get out of being

tied

up?"

D'Amour's teeth glinted as he unleashed his smile "Lots of women I've

met

are into bondage. They tie me up all the time."

In cement shoes, chains and kevlar straitjacket

% Ha. Not far from the truth.

and he still got loose!
This guy's like the cockroach, he can't be killed permanently.

% Almost.

necessary for the wedding, and that the priest should wait in the room
that they had 'prepared' for him towards the back of the temple. Upon
entering the room for the first time since it had been prepared, he

nearly

bolted. It was covered in what he recognized as various spirit wards and
runes on nearly every square inch of open space. 'It's for your
protection,' or so they had said. When he pressed them about what he was
being protected from, they had simply replied, 'Who knows?'

For all they know, a demonic invasion could start in the front lawn.


% This is Nerima. The odds were only six to one against that happening
sometime duringt he ceremony. ^_^

At last he worked up the courage to ask once again. "Why do I need the

two

of you to guard me?"

Minami at last answered the question, figuring there was no longer

enough

time for him to successfully try fleeing. "Because you are going to be
performing the wedding ceremony of Ranma Saotome and Shampoo. Bad things
happen to Ranma. Bad things happen to Shampoo. Whenever one tries to

plan

something, it usually goes wrong. The more elaborate the plan, the more
horribly things go wrong. You don't want to know what happened the last
time Ranma tried to get married."

Yohko nodded her head solemnly, and she had not even been there. "They

say

that in case something happens to this guy,  they have a second priest

in

disguise out there so the wedding can still go on. They planned for just
about everything this time around."

Up to and including a nuclear war.

%or even Second Impact. ^_^

The Director gazed upon the scene before him from the balcony high above
the main floor of the temple. All seemed to be in place. He had

personally

double-checked the set up once more. He had removed the trap doors the
crew had installed underneath the area where the groom and bride were
supposed to stand. He had destroyed the disco ball they had attempted to
put up for when the music started. And he had broken into tiny pieces

the

'Icelandic Pygmy Marching Band's Greatest Hits' CD that the crew had
attempted to insert into the audio system. All seemed to be in

readiness.

He activated his personal link to the audio system.

He desperately needs a new crew.

% These are the only guys willing to work for him. He is insane.

"Let me put it to you this way. If you don't hurry things along right

now,

an eighty foot psychotic Chinese Dragon/Emperor might very well come
along, rip the roof off of this place, and begin turning us all into

piles

of briquettes."

Oh, hi Herb, staying for the reception?

 % He can act as a grill and flame broil the steaks for them.

"It's time to eat my words, isn't it?" Ranma asked as he looked the

piece

over.

Shampoo nodded happily in agreement. Ranma actually found a smile rise

to

his lips as he began devouring the piece of cake. Some words just

weren't

all that hard to swallow.

Aww, how sweet.

% Thanks.

"He's looking over another copy of the Kama Sutra. Great-Grandmother and
Perfume each gave me a copy of the book too. Perfume even put liner

notes

in the margins." Shampoo sighed, thinking about Ranma's current

reaction.

It would have been best to get that sort of thing out of the way early

on.

He really should have slept with her before, then he would not be having
the problems he currently had.

(In best Genma inpersonation): You have a lot to learn my boy, and very
little time to learn it in.

% Improvising things at the spur of the moment is one of Ranma's
specialties.  ^_^

Ranma just stared at the contents in disbelief. "Look at this weird

stuff.

Does she think we're both going to be doing it as girls or something? I
mean, that long one's got two ends to it. Blech!"

Ai's Starter Kit + Perfume's Kama Sutra (revised edition) = two EXTREMELY
exhausted martial artists.

% Heh. True, though.

Shampoo removed the captain's hand from her person, bending two of the
fingers one way and two others in the opposite direction. Her reward was

to see him go down on one knee in pain. "No one may touch me there but

my

husband, scum!" She released his hand, suddenly becoming pleasant once
again. "I will take you up on your offer of a honeymoon cruise, however.
Just remember that if you touch me, someone will be feeding the sharks
with his worthless carcass."

Oh, D'Amour, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One TacNuke, two
Tacnukes, three.......

% Hehehehehe. The kind of guy you love to hate.

D'Amour shook off the pain, gave Shampoo a sweeping bow, then walked off
to sulk. He had hit on just about every good-looking woman at the

wedding,

even the bride, and still no luck. Even when he offered his services to
the lesbians, Ukyou and Ai, they had hit him with a spatula and a baton.
Everyone was just so violent lately. Whatever happened to 'free love?'

It died with the sixties, where have you been?

% Such concepts represent his own idea of Utopia (as long as he's
receiving a lot of the lovin' ^_^) He wants them to come back bad.

His self-pity party ended abruptly when he saw an incredibly gorgeous
woman sitting by herself, a dejected look etched on her face. She

appeared

absolutely miserable, as though the world itself had ended. With a deft
move he plucked a rose from a nearby flower arrangement, sniffed its
alluring aroma, and put on his 'sympathy look'. It was now up to him to
cheer the attractive woman up, comforting her with words at first, then
with his skillful fingers later.

He offered the flower to her. "Ah, my sweet ravishing beauty. Do not

weep

at what chance misfortunes have besieged you. Permit me to present to

you

a token that would grant you freedom from the sorrows that have

afflicted

you. Allow this humble gift to come from a man that will now never know
peace in his heart. A heart that has been captured with but one,

ephemeral

glance of you."

D'Amour unleashed his most roguish smile as Comb's hand slowly went for
something tucked behind her back.

Mmm...Toast.....

% It was the meeting that had to happen.

"But all I did was offer to make you happy!"

"I know what you wanted! The same thing all of your kind wants! You were
going to try to sweet talk me into bedding you!" She swung her sword,

the

captain barely avoiding the blow that had been directed between his

legs.

"Well, yes, but I hadn't even gotten to that part yet!"

"DIE!!!" She swung once again.

Nabiki is probably setting up odds for the 'good' captain's survival at
this very moment.

% Heh.

"So," he at last spoke, breaking the silence. "Was it as good for you

that

time as it was for me?"

Shampoo seemed to consider that seriously for a few moments before
answering, "No."

If at first you don't succeed.....

%That's the idea. ^_^


beat up whatever
the

hell a Kraken is, we're going to finish that book, right?"

Shampoo smiled right back and turned as they raced out of the door of

the

cabin and into whatever the future might hold.

Oh joy, Calamiri for dinner tonight.

% It's safer than what the Swede will be serving for the crew. ^_^

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well this is the end. Congratulations! You finally made it. Now you can

go

home. Show's over. ^_^  Any last comments on the series would, of

course,

be greatly appreciated.

It's a great story with all the humour one would expect. Can't wait for
the
next storyline.

%Thanks for reading and enjoying. It'll be a while before I start writing
it, though.


D.B. Sommer

Regards,
Mechamorph