Oops, sorry, guess I skipped these by accident.. and I've been on 
vacation for 2 weeks, so... anyway, on with the story
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

===========
PART IIX
Poison.
===========

"You know what?" Ukyo flipped an okonomiyaki with obvious expertise.
"What?" Ryoga asked.
"If you died now, we'd know about it. Especially with that lot
wreaking havoc all over town."
Ryoga thought about it for a second, before realising she was right. "Hmm."
"Okonomiyaki. On the house." 
"Oh. Thanks."
On the roof, a familiar figure was lurking. "Ranma darling will be
mine! I shall eliminate the other foolish girls carefully this time
.. hohohohohohohohohoho!!! Yes, it was Kodachi. "If I cannot kill
them, I shall make sure they are ... otherwise engaged, to put it
simply. Hohohohohohohohohohoho!!!" Looking through the skylight, she
waited ... and tipped a small bag of powder over the okonomiyaki on
the grill. "If the peasant Hibiki is the only customer there, then
logic concludes it would be for him. Hohohoh ..." She stopped in mid
cackle. Were her eyes deceiving her, or was that another Hibiki boy?!
And another! She couldn't be seeing double - one of them had a blond
streak in his hair. And now there was another girl ... dressed
identically to the boys ... looking just like the boys ... but
obviously not a boy. She fumbled with her camera and took a quick
photo to make sure she hadn't inhaled any poison. She had a few
different sachets with her. *Ah ... one of the boys is picking up the
okonomiyaki ...*

"Why do we keep going back to the subject of death?" R-A asked. "It's
totally morbid."
"Because you are still here, and our injuries from the lightning are
not." Ryoga picked up his okonomiyaki. "You said that maybe you had to
stay here until I died and I just wonder how long that'll be." He bit
into it.
"Long enough," R-C said flippantly.
Kodachi poison#35z took effect quickly. Ryoga blacked out and landed
on the floor in a heap. Ukyo gave a squeal of horror and jumped over
the counter. "Oh no! I've killed him! My okonomiyaki's killed him!"
R-D looked surprised. "No, he's OK. Otherwise someone's really screwed
up."
Ukyo shook Ryoga by the shoulders. "Wake up, you jackass!" There was
no response and she glared at his duplicates. "Well don't just stand
there, phone Dr Tofu or something!" 
The other three immediately jumped to attention and all tried to find
the phone. Not an easy task with the Hibiki sense of direction. R-D
found the phone first. "Doc's on his way now," he confirmed. He looked
curiously at Ukyo, who was still trying to wake Ryoga up. "Why so
concerned? He'll be fine. He's not going anywhere yet."
Ukyo groaned. "I know. But what if you're wrong? Or even worse, what
if more of you turn up?"
R-C snickered. "Yeah. There'll be his inner child and inner adult,
paranoia and confidence ..."
"Enough already!" She gestured to them. "Someone try to find a blanket
without destroying my restaurant. No, stay here, I'll get one."
Outside, Kodachi's laugh echoed through the night.

It was a tight squeeze in the spare room. Especially with the shopping
too. Ryoga was lying on a futon with R-A, R-C and R-D sat around the
edge. Ranma, Akane, Ukyo, Nabiki and Dr Tofu stood around them. 
"Poison?" R-A asked again weakly.
Dr Tofu nodded. "Yes. A non-lethal poison, but a poison never the
less."
Ranma groaned. "I bring 'em here so they can't get into trouble and he
gets himself poisoned!"
Ukyo looked ill. "It's my fault, isn't it? It was the okonomiyaki,
wasn't it, Dr?" 
"Not the okonomiyaki itself, somebody must have sprinkled a powdered
poison onto it."
"I'll have to throw the rest of today's batter away then" she decided.
"It's all my fault!!!"
Akane looked at her friend. "I'm sure it wasn't really you're fault,
Ukyo." "Hah! If only!" She turned back to Dr Tofu. "Will he be OK?"
"Hmm?" Dr Tofu looked at her. "Oh, yes, he'll be fine. I don't suggest
you move him, just let him sleep it off."
"OK," Ranma proclaimed. "We'll take the other three and the shopping
home. Are you OK, Ucchan?"
"Hmm?" She dragged her gaze away from the unconscious Ryoga and looked
at her fiance. "Yeah. I'm OK. I was just thinking."
"At least we'll be able to tell them apart!" Ranma said with a grin.
"When Ryoga's Ryoga, he looks just like R-A and when she's Ryoga-chan
she looks just like R-C."
"Mmm." Ukyo though about that for a second. "Ranchan, can I talk to
you for a second?"
"Yeah?" He looked at her.
She dragged him out of the room. "I don't think you should antagonise
Ryoga by calling him Ryoga-chan as a girl."
He looked at her, puzzled. "Why? What's the harm? We always antagonise
each other." Ukyo briefly explained the day's events, edited of
course. Ranma shrugged. "Sounds like typical Ryoga behaviour to me.
Don't get so worried about it."
R-D poked his head around the corner. "What are you two doing?"
"Talking."
"Damn!" R-D sighed. *Why can't you just marry Ukyo and leave Akane for
Ryoga?!*
R-A poked his head around the corner too. "OK? Ukyo, cheer up a bit.
Do you want any of us to stay here and keep you company?"
"No, that's alright. There's not much room here anyway." She followed
them back into the room where R-C was examining some of the clothes.
"Did you get some pyjamas?"
"Red bag underneath the khaki culottes," Akane pointed out. "Why not
wait till we get back to the Dojo before going through it all?"
R-C thought for a moment. "Yeah. I just wanted to check for the
essentials. Speaking of which, did you get the Sailor Moon CD?"
"HMV bag."
"And the ..."
"Check when we get back!" Akane repeated with a long suffering sigh.
"If I've forgotten anything, we can go shopping again tomorrow."

Elsewhere in town, Shampoo and Cologne were having a heated
discussion. 
"Shampoo, this is the last chance you'll have to get Ranma back,"
Cologne repeated. 
"But Shampoo still no understand why!"
Cologne waved the photograph at her, which had been given to Ranma a
few days ago and had found it's way into her hands. "I know this is a
fake. You know it's a fake. I suppose even Son-in-law knows it's a
fake..."
Shampoo snatched the photograph from her and crumpled it up. "Stupid
Mousse NEVER defeat Shampoo, Ranma know that. Why he pretend this
real?!"
Cologne tried to think of a nice way to put it. "Son-in-law ... I
think he's scared of commitment. He sees this photograph as a way out
of his engagement to you. That we could deal with, if this was the
only copy. But that awful Nabiki Tendo has made more copies and given
them to her contacts, saying that if we make any attempt to win back
Son-in-law now, she'll send it to our village."
"So how we stop her?" Shampoo looked at her great-grandmother in
despair. "If council find this photograph, they make Shampoo marry
Mousse."
Cologne held up two bottles. "This the last bit we have left of
either. Make sure you do not fail."
Shampoo read the labels on the bottles written in mandarin. "Shampoo
411 and love potion? Why we not use sooner?"
Cologne sighed. "We wanted him to come to China on his own free will.
Now, this potion will make him fall madly in love with the first
person of the opposite sex he sees. Make sure he is male, and make
sure no other girls are around."
Shampoo nodded. "Shampoo give it to Ranma tomorrow morning, make sure
spatula girl and gorilla girl not around."

End Part IIX
Final song - Poison

================================
PART IX
The best laid plans of mice and (wo)men ...
================================

R-C yawned and stretched. *Morning already. Guess I'd better bag the
bathroom before everyone wakes up.* She washed quickly, then pulled on
some of her new clothes. *Nice morning for a stroll ... I'll go to
Ucchans and see how my other half is.*

*Note - Although the four Ryoga's are not quadruplets, they all have a
special link, like some twins and triplets do. They will always be
able to find each other, which is why R-C was able to find the Dojo
after they'd all gotten there too. She is now working on the
assumption that she will be able to find her way there and back again,
providing that none of the others decide to go for a walk too.

She bounced from roof to roof, looking at the streets below, hoping
that their general unclutteredness was simply because it was early
morning and not because she'd left the city. Purple hair caught her
eye. *Shampoo. Good. That means I'm still in Tokyo." She looked at
Shampoo a little longer. *Wonder who she's delivering to so early in
the morning?* 
A mean thought popped into her head. A thought worthy of R-D. She
wasn't entirely fond of Shampoo. After all, she'd tried to kill Akane,
and the whole soap fiasco had been very hard on Ryoga. Although R-C
didn't share the love for Akane that her 'brothers' did, she did share
the anger towards Shampoo. Shampoo's reputation as a delivery girl
would take a blow if she didn't deliver the ramen within half an hour,
and R-C hadn't had any breakfast. She silently waited for Shampoo to
walk underneath her, then reached down and grabbed the delivery box
from her.
Shampoo looked around in surprise as the box vanished from her grip.
"Wha ...?" 
A giggle made her look up just in time to see R-C gobble down the last
of the ramen. "Very nice. Thanks for the food!"
Shampoo was seized by a terrible rage. This stranger had stolen her
spiked ramen - RANMA'S ramen and eaten it. All of it. Now she'd lost
Ranma. "You ... you ..."
R-C began her roof to roof trek to Ucchans again. "Better get back to
the Cat Caf� and make some more," she called over her shoulder. Next
moment, a bonbori struck her between the shoulder blades, knocking her
flat on her face.
Shampoo leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Bandanna girl eat
Shampoo ramen. Bandanna girl - KILL!!!"
R-C rolled over and the bonbori went crashing through the roof.
"Wha... what was that for?!!" she yelled, jumping to her feet. "It's
only ramen!"
"SPECIAL ramen!" Shampoo lashed out again. "Shampoo kill bad bandanna
girl!"
"Special?" R-C blinked, dodging the bonbori strikes. "You mean you
spiked it?!" Remembering the love pill incident, she pulled her
bandanna over her eyes and jumped to the ground. This _did_ mean it
was hard to see where Shampoo was going to strike. She ran through
buildings back towards the Tendo Dojo.

"Where's R-C?" Akane asked, looking around the breakfast table.
R-A shrugged. "Gone for a walk." He handed her a bowl of miso soup.
"What? Won't she get dreadfully lost?" Ranma asked. "Can I have her
breakfast?"
R-D bopped him over the head. "No you can't. As long as we're here,
she'll be able to find her way back."
Nabiki sat down. "So if we know where one of you is, you'll know where
any of the others are?" She sighed. "Damn! There's goes all the
interest piling up while half of you vanished and couldn't be found."
"Good morning!" a cheery voice proclaimed. Ukyo and Ryoga entered the
room, Ukyo now with a new spatula.
"Ukyo, Ryoga, welcome! I'm sorry we haven't got any breakfast left but
you're welcome to have some tea" Kasumi said, indicating the table.
"Make mine with three sugars." Ukyo sat down next to Ranma. "He found
his own way here! Can you believe it?! I turned around to buy a
newspaper, thought I'd lost him, and he was still on the right path!"
She held a hand to her head. "I'm in shock!"
Genma appeared at the table. "Any food left?"
"Sorry, Uncle Saotome. It's all gone," Kasumi said sorrowfully.
Genma glared at Ranma. "How dare you deprive you father of his
breakfast?" In one swift movement, he threw his son into the pond.
"Hey! What was that for?!" Ranma-chan spluttered. "It's all the extra
Ryoga's!" She dragged herself out of the pond and back to the table.
"And you've drunk all the hot water too," she moaned, glaring at
Ryoga.
Ryoga glared back. "Don't drip all over me." In response, Ranma-chan
tipped a glass of cold water over him. "HEY! You little ..."
The argument was stopped abruptly by the arrival of R-C, who luckily
came in through the open door. "Where on earth am I now?!"
R-D blinked. "Why are you blindfolded?" He reached out to pull it
away.
"NONONO DON'T TOUCH!!" She smacked his hands away. "I pinched some
spiced ramen from Shampoo and she's given me the kiss of death, but I
don't know where she is now."
"Shampoo spiced ramen? It was probably for me." Ranma-chan looked out
of the doorway. "Judging by the wave of destruction you've left, I
don't think it'll be long before she arrives."
R-C groaned. "What do I do? Can someone lead me to Dr Tofu's? I need a
cure for this love thing before I take off the bandanna to fight her."
Akane nodded, then remembered that R-C couldn't see her. "I'll take
you. I know how you feel." They both left, Akane telling R-C about the
love pills, R-C pretending she didn't know anything about it.
R-A stood up. "I'll boil a kettle."
"Make sure there's only enough for Ryoga," R-D called.
Ranma-chan stuck her tongue out at him and opened her mouth to say
something nasty in reply. "..."
The wall caved in. "Bandanna girl I kill!" Shampoo roared. She now had
a sword with her, which whistled across the room and embedded itself
in the wall just above Ryoga-chan's head.
"Wait! You've got the wrong person!" she protested, jumping out of the
way of another attack.
"I give you kiss of death, now you die!" She yanked the sword out of
the wall and swung it in a gleaming arc towards Ryoga-chan's neck.
Ryoga-chan dodged and the sword narrowly missed R-D.
"Be careful with that thing!" he yelled angrily, grabbing her wrist
and throwing the sword across the room.
"Bandanna boy let Shampoo go!" Shampoo struggled wildly.
Ranma-chan leaned over. "I'd let go if I was you, before it counts as
a defeat and you end up marrying her," she whispered.
R-D snarled and let go of her. "Be a girl and beat her up," he called
to Ryoga-chan. "Ignore your angel side for a moment - you're a girl!"
Ryoga-chan sighed. *I'd better do what he says before she hurts one of
the girls with that sword.* She dodged another attack from Shampoo and
punched her in the back of the head. Shampoo slumped to the ground
unconscious.
R-A walked back in with a kettle. "Here's hot water for both of you,"
he said, handing the kettle to Ranma-chan and ignoring the chaos.
"W-will she be alright?" Ukyo asked.
Ryoga-chan nodded. "Yes. But I wish I hadn't done it." She took the
kettle from Ranma.
Shampoo woke up just in time to see Ryoga-chan pour the hot water over
herself. She blinked a few times. "B-bandanna boy bandanna girl?! But
how?!" She looked around the room. "Why there three bandanna boys?"
Then she remembered the situation at hand and narrowed her eyes. "You
still eat Shampoo ramen..." she muttered, picking up a glass of water.
"Girl-type, I KILL!"
"Why did we all get different clothes?" Ryoga growled. "If she didn't
know who was who ..." He jumped out of the path of the water.
"She doesn't. That's the problem," R-A pointed out. 
Shampoo threw another glass of water at Ryoga, which he dodged again.
"Stay still!" "No way!"
With a growl, she stomped out of the Dojo. The momentary sigh of
relief from everyone was short-lived when she re-appeared with a
garden hose.
"Not in my Dojo!" Soun wailed. Shampoo ignored him and turned it on.
Nabiki dragged her sister out of the room, closely followed by R-D.
R-A, Ryoga and Ranma managed to dodge the water stream, but Genma and
Ukyo were not quite so lucky, instantly soaked through. 
Ranma jumped over the water stream, grabbed the hose from Shampoo and
turned it off. "Shampoo, would you listen!"
Shampoo whacked him over the head. "Ranma stay out of this!" She
renewed her water attack. "Bad boy stay still, let Shampoo kill!"
Ukyo stormed over to her and stood on the hose. "How dare you hit
Ranchan!"
Shampoo glared at her. "Spatula girl get out of way. I give girl-type
Ryoga kiss of death, girl-type Ryoga I kill."
"But you didn't give Ryoga the kiss of death," Ukyo tried to explain.
The bonbori hurled through the air towards her. "Obstacle, DIE!"
Ryoga ripped off one of his bandannas and threw it across the room.
"Stop this!"
The handle of the bonbori sliced cleanly in half and the top half
whacked Shampoo in the head. She fell to the ground for the second
time that day. 
Ukyo sighed. "Thanks." She took her foot off the hose.
Ryoga-chan and Ranma-chan glared at her. "You couldn't have turned
that off, could you?"

"Can't we tie her up or something?" Ukyo was referring, of course, to
Shampoo, who was currently out cold on a futon. "She's just going to
go berserk when she wakes up."
"I know ... but it just seems a bit mean." R-A sighed. "Maybe she'll
listen this time."
R-D snorted. "Hah. Whatever you've stolen from Kodachi, stop taking
it. It's messing up you're mind."
Ranma nodded. "Much as I hate to say it, he's right. Shampoo's really
angry about this."
Ryoga groaned. "Why? Why can't she just go back to her caf� and plot
with her great-grandmother about their next plans?" He shook his head.
"I've mucked up her plans before - why is she hell-bent on my
destruction now?" 
Ranma coughed. "Well, uh ... this is kinda like her last chance to get
me ..." 
R-D grabbed his collar. "Spill."
Nabiki handed him a letter and a photograph. "Ranma got this through
the post last week. It's obviously faked, but so what?"
Ryoga, R-A and Ukyo craned their heads to get a look in. "Mousse
defeated Shampoo?!!" Ryoga shook his head. "Yep. Definitely fake."
R-A shrugged. "Well, not necessarily - he might really ... ack." 
R-D shook him. "Do you really think Mousse would hurt Shampoo?"
Nabiki ignored them. "The letter's the real proof."
Ukyo read it aloud. "Dear Ranma, Mousse has defeated me in battle,
because this had happened after you defeated me, that makes him my
suitor. I have decided to marry Mousse and bother you no more hope we
can be friends Shampoo?" She sighed. "Whoever really wrote this was
bananas. Shampoo can barely say all that in Japanese, let alone spell
it."
"Exactly." Nabiki took back the photo and letter. "I made lots of
copies and told Cologne that if they didn't do as the letter said, I'd
order my contacts to send a few copies to her village." She looked at
Shampoo. "My guess is, she was going to make Ranma fall in love with
her and use that shampoo to erase my memory." She smirked. "Pity the
shampoo's gone down the sink."
"You never cease to amaze me," Ranma said in glee. "Thanks to you and
R-C, I'm saved!"
"I guess that's it then, son-in-law." Everyone whipped round to see
Cologne standing in the doorway. She sighed. "I should have
accompanied Shampoo. But I was afraid you'd see me first. Then I'd
have to face my great-granddaughter's wrath."
Shampoo groaned and opened her eyes. "Ugh ... great-grandmother?" 
"We never got around to tying her up, did we?" R-A said casually. 
"Feh. Any one of us could take her, anytime," R-D snorted. 
"Yeah, well you don't have to worry about it, do you?" Ryoga pointed out. 
Cologne bounced over to them. "May I ask why you are now three people?"
Ryoga shrugged. "You can ask. But if Shampoo murders me, you won't get
an answer."
Shampoo turned to them. "Bad boy! How dare you hit Shampoo?! I KILL!"
Cologne pointed her staff at her. "Wait, Shampoo. This boy did not eat
the ramen."
"Finally! That's what I've been trying to say!" Ryoga banged his fist
against the floor, leaving a large hole. "Oops."
Shampoo stopped. "But Shampoo SEE him eat ramen. He bandanna girl, eat
Shampoo ramen. I give her kiss of death. Then I see bandanna girl turn
back into bandanna boy, so Shampoo try turn him girl again to kill..."
she trailed off.
"But he beat you. Hmm. New curse, boy?" Cologne balanced on her staff.
"Sit down, Shampoo." Shampoo did so, with much reluctance. "Now, if
he'd eaten the ramen, he would be madly in love with someone here.
Which he isn't." Shampoo opened her mouth to protest and Cologne shot
her a warning look. "Also, it may have failed to grab your attention,
but if you look closely, you will see that there are three Ryoga's in
this room. If I'm guessing correctly, there is a fourth one as well,
yes?"
Everybody nodded. "I'm his good side, he's the bad side .." 
*BONK* 
"OUCH!" R-A rubbed his head. "What was that for?"
Ryoga and R-D glared at him. "Let them stay confused. I have a bad
feeling about this," R-D snarled.
"But maybe things will all work out well..."
"When have things EVER worked out well?!!"
Cologne looked at them. "I have heard many legends about this. Let me
guess, you nearly got killed in a freak accident that wasn't supposed
to happen, and various aspects of yourself turned up at the scene to
share your injuries?"
Ryoga glared at his other selves. "Putting it simply, yes. Can you get
rid of them?"
*A good and a bad - two opposites. The girl must be his alternate
self, and now his curse has been altered so that he becomes a girl.*
Cologne puzzled it all over. *How confusing.* She snapped back to
attention. "Come on Shampoo, we need to talk." She hopped out of the
window.
"Wait!" Ryoga jumped to his feet to run after her, but Shampoo
appeared in his way.
"I go now. But this not over!" She jumped out of the window after
Cologne.
Ryoga sighed, then looked at the mass destruction to the Dojo. "The
bill for all this goes to them, not me, OK?"

Cologne tried to explain things to her great-granddaughter once again.
It was now getting very frustrating. She tried again. "Shampoo, you
can not kill Ryoga. As a girl or as a boy."
Shampoo glared at her. "You say strange bandanna-girl part of
bandanna-boy, so Shampoo can kill bandanna-boy. They same person."
She tried again. "Technically yes, they are the same person. But you
still can't kill them."
"WHY?!!"
Time to drop the bomb. "For starters, it wouldn't be a nice thing to
do to your future husband." She waited a few moments for Shampoo to
pick herself off the floor. Outside the doorway, Mousse paused and
began to eavesdrop. 
"HUSBAND?!!"
Cologne almost laughed at her great-granddaughter's outraged face. "He
defeated you in battle. AFTER this fake photo appeared. So his
engagement to you outranks Mousse�s engagement to you ..."
"SHAMPOO NEVER MARRY STUPID BANDANNA-BOY!!!!" Outside the door, Mousse
smiled slightly.
"Why not?" he heard Cologne asked. "He's cute."
"Well ..."
"And strong."
"Yes, but ..."
"It's that or Mousse."
"Maybe bandanna-boy not so bad after all." The quickness of the reply
made Mousse REALLY mad. He couldn't believe it. He'd been unable to
believe his luck when he'd found out about the letter and photo,
thinking that Cologne would finally give in and let him marry Shampoo.
But now she was engaged to Ryoga? And she preferred it to being
engaged to him? A fellow Amazon? Ryoga didn't even like her! It was
time to teach Ryoga a lesson. Mousse stormed out of the restaurant in
pursuit of his newest rival.
Back inside, Shampoo sighed. "But Shampoo still want Ranma." She
smiled at the thought of her beloved.  
"Well you can't have Ranma," Cologne snapped. 
"But Shampoo not want marry Ryoga. ANY Ryoga," she added. "And what
about girl type eat ramen? Shampoo give her kiss of death."
Cologne gritted her teeth in frustration. Why was Shampoo making this
so hard?!! "You will marry the original Ryoga. You will not kill his
girl half, whether it's him or another him. When we get to China, we
will find a way to get rid of the extra three Ryoga's and that will be
that." She jumped off the counter. "Now, GET BACK TO WORK!!"
Shampoo quickly shut her mouth and scuttled out of the room. *Shampoo
not want to marry ANYONE,* she sulked. *When Shampoo find out who
write letter, Shampoo KILL!* With this threat, she pulled on her apron
and went back into the restaurant.
Cologne sighed. *That was hard.* She went back into the kitchen.
"Mousse ..." She blinked. *Where is that boy?* A thought occurred to
her and she left the kitchen swiftly. "Shampoo, I think you should go
back to the Tendo Dojo. Mousse is on the warpath." Shampoo gave a long
suffering sigh and walked out of the caf�. Cologne almost laughed.
*Mousse will never learn, will he? I think I'll go see how my new
son-in-law copes.*

End Part IX 
Final song - Looking For Somebody

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, from tomorrow I'm back on track... chaps 14 0nwards, right ? 
^_^
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku
Member of the Chan club; Wos; Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; SOotCiP; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club; CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death; SLAP;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.
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